Saturday, August 4, 2007

We are living in a golden age (cont)

Mother cuts off 61-year-old son's allowance
Rome, Italy 02 August 2007 01:59

A Sicilian mother took away her 61-year-old son's house keys, cut off his allowance and hauled him to the police station because he stayed out late.Tired of her son's misbehaviour, the pensioner in the central Sicilian city of Caltagirone turned to the police to "convince this blockhead" to behave properly, La Sicilia, one of Sicily's leading newspapers, reported on Thursday.The son responded by saying his mother did not give him a big enough weekly allowance and did not know how to cook."My son does not respect me, he doesn't tell me where he's going in the evenings and returns home late," the woman was quoted as saying. "He is never happy with the food I make and always complains. This can't go on."Police helped the squabbling duo make up and the two returned home together, with the son's house keys and daily allowance restored.Most Italian men still live at home late into their 30s, enjoying their "mamma's" cooking, washing and ironing. -- Reuters

at least they were watching the game

News item: Many Cubs fans saw Wootz warming up and gave Howry a standing ovation when he entered the game, thinking he was Wootz.

Friday, August 3, 2007

The Deciderer

Tancredo: Threaten to bomb Muslim holy sites in retaliation

WASHINGTON (CNN) — Colorado Rep. Tom Tancredo’s campaign stood by his assertion that bombing holy Muslim sites would serve as a good “deterrent” to prevent Islamic fundamentalists from attacking the United States, his spokeswoman said Friday.
“This shows that we mean business,” said Bay Buchanan, a senior Tancredo adviser. “There’s no more effective deterrent than that. But he is open-minded and willing to embrace other options. This is just a means to deter them from attacking us.”
On Tuesday, Tancredo warned a group of Iowans that another terrorist attack would “cause a worldwide economic collapse.” recorded his comments.
“If it is up to me, we are going to explain that an attack on this homeland of that nature would be followed by an attack on the holy sites in Mecca and Medina,” Tancredo said. “That is the only thing I can think of that might deter somebody from doing what they would otherwise do. If I am wrong, fine, tell me, and I would be happy to do something else. But you had better find a deterrent, or you will find an attack.”
Tom Casey, a deputy spokesman for the State Department, told CNN’s Elise Labott that the congressman’s comments were “reprehensible” and “absolutely crazy.” Tancredo was widely criticized in 2005 for making a similar suggestion.
–CNN Associate Producer Lauren Kornreich

uh oh

"Kerry Wood, who's fresh off the disabled list, warmed up earlier in the game but never entered."

Call Me Libratorr!

tough one today

Top 9th: NY Mets
- R. Dempster relieved B. Howry
- D. Wright walked
- C. Delgado doubled to deep right, D. Wright scored, C. Delgado to third advancing on throw
- M. Anderson popped out to second
- R. Castro struck out swinging
- S. Green doubled to left, C. Delgado scored
- R. Gotay singled to left, S. Green scored
- M. Alou hit for G. Mota
- M. Alou singled to center, R. Gotay to third
- J. Reyes singled to right, R. Gotay scored, M. Alou to second
- D. Newhan flied out to center
4 runs, 5 hits, 0 errors, and Dempster slid through it
NY Mets 6, Chi Cubs 2

How To Suck at Everything.

Detroit infielder Neifi Perez suspended for 80 games after 3rd positive test for stimulant

we are living in a golden age (cont'd)

"I'm a market they can't glut."
-- Tom Lehrer

New coffee chain opens first Chicago location
By David Sterrett
Aug. 03, 2007
(Crain's) — Cuppy's Coffee is holding a grand opening Friday for a drive-through store near Midway International Airport. The location at 6455 S. Cicero Ave. is the first Cuppy's in Chicago, but the Florida-based chain wants to have about 70 stores in the area in the next few years.

"We don’t think of ourselves as a coffee shop. We think of ourselves as a specialty coffee shop," says Rachel Clark, Cuppy's vice-president of marketing...

The new Chicago store has no seating but does have two drive-through lanes. "The whole concept was developed around coffee under a minute," Ms. Clark says...

Cuppy's is different from Starbucks, Ms. Clark says, because Cuppy's stores are run by franchisees. Cuppy's also uses a different bean than Starbucks, so its coffee has a unique taste, she says...

New game: "Predict the Injury"

Cubs activated RHP Kerry Wood from the 60-day disabled list.
Wood figures to work his way back into the bullpen mix as a middle reliever, but could quickly find himself in a late-inning role if he can remain healthy for once.

Well, in Caleeforneyuh you can't bring a printer into a bar or restaurant.

Hazardous to your health?
Computer printers can cause as much damage as cigarette smoke, a new study says.
» Beware of toner
Some printers can spy on you

I'm riich biyatch!

An Affiliate of Ford UK.

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That's a lot of sucking.

Not sure why he was released - he did exactly what he's been doing for years: SUCK. Did GM J.P. Ricciardi think he was suddenly going to turn into Derek Jeter?

The Blue Jays will designate SS Royce Clayton for assignment.

05 35 -25 .320 .351 .670 .336 3.64 .270 2 44 13 143 AZ
06 36 -26 .307 .341 .648 .309 3.46 .258 2 40 14 137 Wa/Cin
07 37 -10 .304 .344 .648 .302 3.10 .254 1 12 2 69 Tor
CAREER -324 .312 .367 .680 .348 3.72 .258 110 723 231 2100
LG AVG 0 .340 .427 .767 .500 5.11 .270 236 1021 154
POS AVG -161 .326 .387 .713 .426 4.40 .266 141 801 183

Clayton ranks 4th on the list for worst career RCAA--

1 Neifi Perez -361
2 Ski Melillo -355
3 Tommy Thevenow -351
4 Royce Clayton -324
5 Bill Bergen -312
6 Tim Foli -309
7 Larry Bowa -307
8 Alfredo Griffin -306
T9 Don Kessinger -305
T9 Ozzie Guillen -305

I have never been anywhere near Yemen

Locust infestation in Yemen ‘threatening and extremely serious,’ UN agency warns

Maddux the Wuss

So I'm watching Sportscenter while eating my breakfast, and they come to the obligatory "Barry Bonds" part of the broadcast. He's on his way to Smiff-Land, where he runs into the buzzsaw that is Gregory Maddux. Except Maddux said "It's easy to pitch to Barry, just walk him. It's not hard to throw four about two feet outside." It's been 9 years since Barry took Gregory deep. Apparently Greg wants to keep it that way. The wussy way.

about phokking time - da Fants need da help!

Vladimir Guerrero broke a 30-game homerless streak, the longest of his career, with two home runs against the Athletics on Thursday. Guerrero hadn't homered in 125 at-bats before going back-to-back in the fourth and fifth innings.

Thursday, August 2, 2007

No, really? who could have predicted this?

Well, okay, but it sounds expensive - who is going to pay for this? Maybe instead of frittering away billions every week in Iraq, we could, like, fix our bridges and roads, get health care for everyone, and.... An early estimate is $288 billion to fix the nation's bridges, or about a year in Iraq, where all of the bridges have been blown up. Another brilliant use of finances by Bsuh/Cheney & Co.

"A Wake-Up Call"
WASHINGTON (Reuters) - U.S. politicians on Thursday treated the collapse of a highway bridge that killed or injured dozens of people as a jarring wake-up call to fix the nation's aging roads and bridges, but experts have been sounding the alarm for years with limited success.

More than 70,000 bridges rated deficient

Ma Smiff on the Fightins

"That thrown together line-up did pretty good today but the pitching is pathetic. We need more pitchers who can find the plate. Hope the Braves lose tonight."

Smiffs don't like pitchers who can't throw strikes. You can add dat to the long list of things we don't like. We also don't like the Atlanta phokking Braves and New York phokking Mets. HATE, in fact.

a Cyclone career to end as a teenager...that's a record

Justin Upton made his big league debut Thursday against the Padres, entering the game in the eighth inning as a defensive replacement.
Upton played right field for an inning and then fouled out leading off the ninth inning in his lone at-bat. He figures to play regularly in right field going forward with Carlos Quentin on the disabled list, but Jeff DaVanon started there Thursday.


If he can't hit a homerun off what passes for "pitchers" on the White Sox, who will he?

there's also their idiotic manager to contend with...

...Uncle Cholly leaves J.C. Romero in to hit?? So he can face Fontenot and Jones next inning and walk them? Brilliant.

predicting a Cubs' win...

...the Phillies' bullpen is that bad.

and haven't they suffered enough?

Laura Bush to view bridge collapse

no s#i+, Sherlock

White House: 'It appears to be structural failure'

In other news, the sun is very hot.

the man just can't buy a break

Darin Erstad left Thursday's game in the sixth inning with an apparent leg injury.
Erstad put a ball in play and immediately fell to the ground clutching the back of his leg, before limping to first base. He appeared to be in a great deal of pain and had trouble exiting the field, but it's possible that it was merely a cramp. He went 2-for-3 with an RBI before leaving and was replaced in left field by Andy Gonzalez.

The Sox are officially done.

even funnier

A. Eaton walked, C. Coste to second

well, he is a better hitter than pitcher...

A. Eaton hit for K. Lohse

National Clown Month (Cont'd)

- S. Podsednik at designated hitter


P. Burrell homered to deep center


Erstad 3-3 today and Da Sox have 10 runs.

He's the straw that stirs da sludge.

i hate Lohse already


- A. Soriano singled to left
- A. Soriano caught stealing, catcher to shortstop
- R. Theriot grounded out to second
- D. Lee doubled to deep left center
- A. Ramirez hit by pitch
- C. Floyd hit by pitch, D. Lee to third, A. Ramirez to second
- M. Fontenot walked, D. Lee scored, A. Ramirez to third, C. Floyd to second
- J. Jones grounded out to pitcher
- End of Inning (1 Run, 2 Hits, 0 Errors)

there goes the freedom-hating NY Phokking Times again

Editorial: In Praise of Tap Water

My favorite part:
"Tap water may now be the equal of bottled water, but that could change. The more the wealthy opt out of drinking tap water, the less political support there will be for investing in maintaining America’s public water supply...."

I Guess the "Vitamin B12 Shots" Aren't Working Today

R. Clemens 1.2 9 8 3 0 0 0 4.23

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em: MLB to scalp tix

Here's another fine mess the Cubs have gotten us into:

Baseball Gets Into Resale of Tickets

SAN FRANCISCO, Aug. 1 — Major League Baseball once frowned on scalping, the resale of tickets among fans and sidewalk entrepreneurs. On Thursday, professional baseball will announce plans to get into the business. In a nod to the growing strength of Internet ticket exchanges, the league has entered into a revenue-sharing agreement with StubHub...

British Petroleum picked the wrong lake to pollute

Nobody phokks wid Da Mare's lake--nobody.

Daley threatens to sue BP over lake pollution
Calling it an "issue that goes to the heart and soul of the Midwest," Mayor Daley on Wednesday held out the possibility of filing a state or federal lawsuit if jawboning doesn't work to stop the BP refinery in northwest Indiana from dumping more pollution into Lake Michigan.

I wouldn't want to be dese guys eider...

Daley rips Sun-Times
Mayor Daley on Wednesday accused the Chicago Sun-Times of trying to create conflict between himself and the Rev. Al Sharpton in a desperate attempt to sell newspapers by fanning racial tension.

less fake news, more fake news

News Item: Weekly World News ceasing publication

News Item: Rupert Murdoch to purchase the Wall Street Journal

now dats funny

A dog jumped onto a table in Memphis, Tenn., put its paw on a handgun there and shot its owner, who is recovering, with 10 dog days to go in the dog days of summer.

The LoC mascot is found

The first week of August is National Clown Week!

Of course, everything is related to Nixon somehow:

On October 8, 1970, Public Law 91-443 under the 91st Congress, JJR 26 was passed by both the House and Senate and was sent to President Richard Nixon for his signature.
The joint resolution was signed into law by President Nixon on August 2, 1971.
President Nixon released his "National Clown Week By the President of the United States of America A Proclamation."

As part of Clown Week, a Clown of the Year was named.

take dat, HATERS (Smiff)

Nomar hit his 5th HR of the year tonight.

Wednesday, August 1, 2007


The Cubs couldn't score ONE run off Antonio AlfonSUCKO, Joe Table, or J.C. "The Wild Thing" Romero, who couldn't find his ass with one hand, never mind two. At that point, the game should have been called with the Phillies declared the victors.

Oh yeah, Brett Myers: SUCKS. He appears terminally infected by the Decker-K-Mad Suckiest Suck That Ever Sucked Disease, which is incurable. Thanks a lot.

it sure aint ours intelligence or educations

"Our priorities is our faith."--Dumbya; Greensboro, NC; 10/10/00

"We want our teachers to be trained so they can meet the obligations, their obligations as teachers. We want them to know how to teach the science of reading. In order to make sure there's not this kind of federal--federal cuff link."--Milwaukee, WI; 3/30/00

i agreeez

"This isn't Russia. Is this Russia?"

Couple Terrorized, Assaulted and Arrested For Flying an Upside Down U.S. Flag

Perhaps the Buncombe County, NC police will go after dis guy* next, who really did deface the flag:

TITLE 4 > CHAPTER 1 > § 8§ 8. Respect for flag(g) The flag should never have placed upon it, nor on any part of it, nor attached to it any mark, insignia, letter, word, figure, design, picture, or drawing of any nature.

*My bad, of course, when the pRezzziDUNCE does it, it isn't a crime.

Kansas City's future prospects suddenly improve

Buddy Bell said Wednesday that he'll retire at the end of the season.

Ask Tom Why

My Favorite from last month:


With an appearance by my favorite sissyhawk, Bill "I See Dead People" Kristol.

everyting is on da internets, duh...

We Have Seen the Present, and It Does Not Work:
The University of California-Davis posted a 697-word advertisement for a reference librarian without using the words "book" or "books" once.

K-Mad finishes nailing the coffin...

Former first-round pick Kris Honel has told the White Sox that he is retiring.

he's talking to you, Corms

Lumbering elephant Daryle Ward's injured calf has improved more quickly than anticipated and he is now on pace to return to the Cubs in mid-August.
"I don't think people...ok, dat Corms guy who doesn't stop emailing me with pizza jokes...understood the significance of how well he was swinging the bat and how much that was helping us from the left side," Jim Hendry said. "I'm going to pat myself on the back for another great signing, if i could reach my back..."

Decker killz anudder one...

...really, his track record for killing careers has surpassed K-Mad's by this point... (next up: Lance Berkman?)

Brewers optioned second baseman Rickie Weeks to Triple-A Nashville.
Weeks will be back in September, but the Brewers seem to be pretty much giving up on him for the rest of 2007 with this move. Weeks was just 7-for-46 last month, and he hasn't homered since April, when he had five of them. His wrist just won't allow him to drive the ball right now. Weeks has hit just .156 since coming off the disabled list on June 18.

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Earth to the Los Angeles Dodgers: Nomar is No More

Tonight Nomar is batting 5th(!) and comes in hitting: .285/.330/.360. Hitting *behind him* are James Loney (.350/.399/.536) and Matt Kemp (.341/.382/.540). Despite those batting lines, neither of them play every day. Hey, i love Nomar. He was *An Original Drunk Monk* and was on their only World Championship team. And i was able to flip him last year and drafted Matt Garza with that pick (who might be good despite Decker owning him...). And his wife is hot. Maybe Nomar has just been unlucky this year - he's still makes contact and doesn't strike out much. But there's no power left, and he was never one to walk much. His skillzz have been slowly declining for years, but this year he has hit rock bottom. The Dodgers did move him off 1st to give Loney playing time, but that put Wilson Betemit on the bench (since traded) and despite a low BA he was walking a lot and hitting HRs (his OPS is .144 higher despite a BA .50 lower than Nomar). But does Grady Little look at anything other than batting average? What a phokking dope. But the Dodgers also have Andy LaRoche* at AAA. In a brief callup earlier this season he had a .436 OBP with 15/3 BB/K ratio, and with Las Vegas he is hitting .317/.402/.606 after a very slow start. If he was made the Dodgers' 3rd baseman today i think it's safe to say he would outhit Nomar by 150-200 points of OPS over the rest of the year. They would't even have to make a trade to improve the why don't the Dodgers do it? See labels...

*also a Monk, of course!! FISK would be skeerd if he came up, trust me!

How Not to Win

1) Start Adam "Awful" Eaton.

2) Don't totally hammer Jason "Bombs Away" Marquis.

3) Walk the bases loaded and give a hit up to Jason "Can No Longer Play" Kendall.

--Smiff, POed and mumbling to myself (aka status quo)

Greg Dobbs leading off lol

now da Soxz'ez makes deres run

White Sox activated outfielder Darin Erstad from 15-day disabled list. He takes Rob Mackowiak's roster spot. Erstad was in an 0-for-21 slump at Charlotte and 6-for-47 with no extra-base hits overall.

we need a law like dat

News headline: Turkish Scholar Sues to Overturn Law on 'Denigrating Turkishness'

wutz, no Coninez, too?

Pirates trade for Matt Morris...i don't have to list the reasons why this is so phokking stupid, do I?

Where's 'Crazy Al' Keyes?

Doctor to seek GOP nomination to run against Durbin

(Crain’s) — A La Grange physician on Wednesday is slated to become the first significant opponent to the re-election of U.S. Sen. Richard Durbin.

Steve Sauerberg, a family-practice doctor who will be making his first run for public office, is set to officially announce his candidacy for the GOP nomination to run against Mr. Durbin, the Senate’s second-ranking Democrat...

Phillies Trade Jesus

Mariners acquired infielder Jesus Merchan from the Phillies for RHP Julio Mateo.

K-Mad Pizzed!

He is a Borass Client

Rangers owner Tom Hicks revealed Tuesday that he offered Mark Teixeira an eight-year, $140 million contract two weeks ago.

The Rangers became more intent on trading him after he turned down the proposal. "I thought we made enough of an offer to keep him a Ranger for life," Hicks said. :I'm disappointed he turned it down, but I think we did everything we could to keep him. Now, we've got some very good young players coming here and I feel with some good moves and free-agent signings, we can be a championship team."

Cubs FAIL ackquire Jeff Coninez - wuz Hendry distraKted?

telling me I can't invest in genocide is a curtailment of my freedom

News item: The Darfur Accountability and Divestment Act (DADA) passed the House of Representatives today by a vote of 418 to one.

Phils goin for the gusto

The Phillies have acquired Julio Mateo from the Mariners, ESPN's Jayson Stark reports.

It might be for infielder Danny Sandoval. It's nice to see Mateo is no longer being held hostage by Seattle. Citizens Bank Park is a bad fit for his extreme flyball tendencies, but he'll still be of some help in middle relief.

Annuder Big Tabbacci Funded Study

Even the laser printer is worse than smoking...

Office printers 'are health risk'

You do the math...

Apparently there is a madman running around NORTH LAKEWOOD attacking people...were they attired with "I Heart Bush & Cheney" t-shirts?

Another North Side attack

Could someone invade us, please?

News Item: Americans by a 3-to-1 margin favor the increased use of surveillance cameras to spy on Americans. Expect further announcements from the Ministry of Truth as necessary.

Click Here:

if dis is true...

...why "could" since he's WAY better than Dumpster? That would be SO Cub!

The Cubs reportedly still have a shot at acquiring Eric Gagne, who could be used as a closer over Ryan Dempster. The Journal News' Peter Abraham believes the Red Sox and the Cubs are the favorites...

Spider Pig Send Spam

The Simpsons Movie sparks spam blast
Homer in his underwear isn’t as innocent as he appears

Spammers are jumping on the success of The Simpsons Movie to trick e-mail users into validating their addresses, so they can then send them more spam.

Since the launch of the movie on July 27 spammers have been sending messages with an embedded picture of Homer Simpson in his underwear. The text asks if the recipient plans to see the new movie and to fill out a related survey by following an embedded link. If the recipient clicks on the link, the Web site records the e-mail address – now knowing that there is a valid user – and sends the address more spam.

Video Format Wars, take 2

Hope you haven't bought your HD-DVD yet...

Japanese porn industry embraces Blu-ray Disc

in other news, the sun rose in the east today

Kerry Wood will pitch for Double-A Tennessee on Tuesday and join the Cubs on Thursday or Friday, and will be back on the D.L. by Monday.*
"If we get him on the roster and keep him healthy, it's like trading for a good reliever, so we'll see how that goes," manager Lou Piniella said. In other news, monkeys will be reportedly flying out of Piniella's butt if dat happens.

*Ha, made dis part up, or did i?

Just shoot me already.

Suddenly Jay Payton doesn't look so bad.

he got dat right

"the vice president is kind of a unique creature, if you will..."

"if you will" = plutospeak for "I'm bulls#i++ing again"

Dude, that's so not true

Clearly this study was funded by big tabacci...

Cannabis harm worse than tobacco

Cricket Result

India win despite Tremlett blows

Chris Tremlett took three wickets to knock some of the gloss off India's inevitable triumph over England on the final day of the Trent Bridge Test.
Starting the final day on 10-0 needing just 73, India were comfortable before losing Wasim Jaffer with the score on 48 and Dinesh Karthik on 55.
Tremlett bowled a snorter at Sachin Tendulkar to have him caught at short leg nine runs from the winning post.
But four byes finally took the tourists to victory after 94 minutes of play.

Any Lefties in da haus?

Then you may also be mental...

Gene for left-handedness is found

Scientists have discovered the first gene which appears to increase the odds of being left-handed.
The Oxford University-led team believe carrying the gene may also slightly raise the risk of developing psychotic mental illness such as schizophrenia

Monday, July 30, 2007

#1 on the BA Prospect Hot Sheet: Monk!


Fightins draw First Blood, Part One:

Camels, Rowand, Gooch, Smiff demolish Cubs, 4-1.

Meanwhile, Braves acquire Mark Teixeira. Whatever. He sucks.

already paying dividends

T. Iguchi homered to deep left center

clerical error?

Matt Murton is in the Cubs' lineup tonight?

anyone have an idea? anyone? Bueller?

"How do you know if you don't measure if you have a system that simply suckles kids through?"--Da RezzziDUNCE; Beaufort, SC; 2/16/00

Amazing Products part 2

So our phones at work are down again - second time in 10 days that has happened. Supposedly it's all across the city, just like last time, so I thought I would use the internets to find more information (I tried calling the phone company, but all circuits were busy). Using the Googles, I got to this guy's website:


K-Mad spotted in Maine?

Chief justice taken to hospital after fall

Yes, but the man's intangibles are the greatest in major league history. FACT.

Darin Erstad (ankle) is in an 0-for-17 slump at Triple-A Charlotte after going hitless again Sunday. Overall, he’s 6-for-43 with no extra-base hits for Charlotte. The White Sox will eventually have to bring him back anyway, but they probably won’t give him much playing time initially. Maybe he’ll be activated this weekend.

take dat, SUCKERZ!

Phillies acquire RHP Kyle Lohse from the Reds for LHP Matt Maloney.

K-Mad's Path of Destruction?

Body found on street : Police investigate the body of a man found in front of a Hyde Park building. He apparently fell or was pushed from a 10th-floor window.
Small plane crashes near elementary school
Teen playing dice is killed
Scouts from Glenview hurt in N.M. lightning strike
4 tiny bodies found at Maryland home
Al Gore's son pleads guilty, enters drug diversion program
TV's Tom Snyder dead at 71
Director Ingmar Bergman, 89
Would the Cubs trade Felix Pie?
Hardball: Sox set to send Dye to Boston?
Gingrich: 'Vacuum' could suck him into White House race

Professor Sponenberg of Tulane Asks...

"Why is Hole Camels pitching?"

Well, Philadelphia's pretty desperate right now...


News Headline: "Texas governor appoints creationist as state board of education chairman."

Blog Headline: "Texas as stupid as Kansas?"

July 30th 1934

A day that will live in infamy. In related news Bud Selig turns 73 today.

we are living in a golden age (cont'd)

Cheney Republicans In Training

They have better things to do than 'to serve'...and boy do their knees hurt

I concur.

"If baseball commissioner Bud Selig honors Barry Bond's 756th home run as a record, can we the add the commissioner and Major League Baseball to your list of people and things that aren't what they used be?"

Neither has been what they used to be for quite some time. But you are right. The time approaches when both can be added to the list of things that aren't what they weren't what they used to be.

it wasn't me

Lightning strikes twice

American escapes unharmed after being hit by lightning 27 years to the day after previous strike.

Michael Cuddyer (Cuddy!) is FIERY...

...therefore, he's healthy:

Manager Ron Gardenhire expects Michael Cuddyer to play Friday, the first day he is eligible to come off the disabled list.
"I think so," Gardenhire said. "He's pretty optimistic and, from talking with Cuddy, he's fired up. If he's fired up, that means he'll get there." Cuddyer has been out since injuring his thumb on July 19.

A Rare Event

A Phillies-Cubs series in late July which actually means something?

The only thing less common than this is a good idea coming out of the Bush administration.

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Did K-Mad or Sarge pick him up recently?

Jason Jennings gave up 11 runs in TWO-THIRDS of a inning pitched today...

...or how to raise your ERA by 1.25 runs in 1 start...

and Phil Garner might have thought about bringing in a new pitcher after, oh, 7 or 8 runs...

...perhaps after the 10th batter of the inning homered... could have still won since your own team scored 13 runs...

...but...Phil Garner IS A MORON.

p.s. Little known fact: Phil Garner's nickname is "Scrap Iron" because a brain scan in 1974 revealed that's what's actually in his head.

I wish somebody would hire Dusty Baker... it would get him out of the broadcast booth (though i didn't miss Joe Morgan today, either). A couple of things from today's Det/LAA game:

1) The team that does better in 2-out RBI situations will win more often. In other words, the better hitting team. Well, duh. Also, 2-out RBI count more than 0-out or 1-out RBI situations...I did not know dat. In other news, the team which pitches better also wins more often...
2) He had never heard Norm Cash admitted to using a corked bat when he hit .361 in 1961. You would think someone who has been in the game since 1968 might have heard about that, if he didn't have his head up his ass, that is...

Is Jim Hendry putting funny mushrooms on his pizza again?

If this happens, i will laugh and laugh and laugh...

The Cubs and Orioles are discussing a Jay Payton trade, with the Cubs potentially receiving two mid-level prospects in return.
Payton for Matt Murton straight up would be a nice move for Baltimore. Payton makes sense for the Cubs as a more legitimate option in center field than Jacque Jones, though he's best utilized in a limited role. Ideally, he'd start over Jones against lefties and allow Jones to slide over to right whenever Cliff Floyd is dinged up.

Of course, Payton hasn't had an .809 OPS or better (which Murton did last year) outside of Colorado, got it...HE'S A VETERAN! And really, he's not a very good CF. And most importantly, he SUCKS.