Showing posts with label brain-dead statisticians. Show all posts
Showing posts with label brain-dead statisticians. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Monday, January 28, 2008
Lies, Damn Lies And
Clemens' agent releases report refuting steroid allegations
NEW YORK - Roger Clemens' agent released an 18,000-word statistical report Monday to refute allegations that the pitcher's career rebounded around the time period he was accused of using performance-enhancing drugs.
"Clemens' longevity was due to his ability to adjust his style of pitching as he got older, incorporating his very effective split-finger fastball to offset the decrease in the speed of his regular fastball caused by aging," said the report, created by Randy Hendricks and two associates at his firm.
Oh yeah. THAT explains it. You know, like Jordan switching from his high flying style to the fadeaway jump shot. Exactly the same thing. Case closed.
I'm sorry, but you can't produce a statistical report that proves no steroid use. You just can't. You can MAYBE show that on average a pitcher's fastball decreases by x MPH as they get older, and Clemens was on target, or something like that, but that doesn't PROVE it. The bottom line is that there was no testing back then, so we will never know for sure. All you can do is say you didn't take steroids, that other guy is lying, and I'm gonna sue his ass. But this bullshit stat report (and I haven't even read it yet) is bullshit.
I'll let the experts of the LoC dissect the report...
Click here for report
NEW YORK - Roger Clemens' agent released an 18,000-word statistical report Monday to refute allegations that the pitcher's career rebounded around the time period he was accused of using performance-enhancing drugs.
"Clemens' longevity was due to his ability to adjust his style of pitching as he got older, incorporating his very effective split-finger fastball to offset the decrease in the speed of his regular fastball caused by aging," said the report, created by Randy Hendricks and two associates at his firm.
Oh yeah. THAT explains it. You know, like Jordan switching from his high flying style to the fadeaway jump shot. Exactly the same thing. Case closed.
I'm sorry, but you can't produce a statistical report that proves no steroid use. You just can't. You can MAYBE show that on average a pitcher's fastball decreases by x MPH as they get older, and Clemens was on target, or something like that, but that doesn't PROVE it. The bottom line is that there was no testing back then, so we will never know for sure. All you can do is say you didn't take steroids, that other guy is lying, and I'm gonna sue his ass. But this bullshit stat report (and I haven't even read it yet) is bullshit.
I'll let the experts of the LoC dissect the report...
Click here for report
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Bears still in it!
In fact, everyone's still in it, though I guess this was before this weekend's games...
Bears not mathematically done yet
By Vaughn McClure Tribune staff reporter
4:38 PM CST, December 8, 2007
As crazy as it sounds, the Bears remain in the playoff conversation.
Go ahead. Shake your head in denial.
But an NFL spokesperson confirmed the Bears have not been mathematically eliminated. In fact, no team in the NFC had been eliminated as of Tuesday, including three, 3-9 teams.
Of course, that's likely to change with Sunday's games. And the Bears have to win their final three games. The odds are against them.
According to the Elias Sports Bureau (buncha liars, damned liars, statisticians), no 5-8 team has made the playoffs under the new format, dating back to 1990. Seven teams that finished 8-8 though have made the playoffs, most recently last season's New York Giants.
Mark Myers of chancebot.com—a site that analyzes such numbers—and probably wrote this article-figures the Bears will have a 1.27 percent shot at a wild-card berth if Dallas, Seattle and San Francisco win this coming weekend. Then, if the Bears win out, their chances would increase to 16.25 percent.
The tiniest bit of opportunity has at least one Bear optimistic.
"We win these last three, and everybody else keeps losing, we do have a shot," cornerback Charles (peanuts for brains) Tillman said.
My embellishments in italics.
Bears not mathematically done yet
By Vaughn McClure Tribune staff reporter
4:38 PM CST, December 8, 2007
As crazy as it sounds, the Bears remain in the playoff conversation.
Go ahead. Shake your head in denial.
But an NFL spokesperson confirmed the Bears have not been mathematically eliminated. In fact, no team in the NFC had been eliminated as of Tuesday, including three, 3-9 teams.
Of course, that's likely to change with Sunday's games. And the Bears have to win their final three games. The odds are against them.
According to the Elias Sports Bureau (buncha liars, damned liars, statisticians), no 5-8 team has made the playoffs under the new format, dating back to 1990. Seven teams that finished 8-8 though have made the playoffs, most recently last season's New York Giants.
Mark Myers of chancebot.com—a site that analyzes such numbers—and probably wrote this article-figures the Bears will have a 1.27 percent shot at a wild-card berth if Dallas, Seattle and San Francisco win this coming weekend. Then, if the Bears win out, their chances would increase to 16.25 percent.
The tiniest bit of opportunity has at least one Bear optimistic.
"We win these last three, and everybody else keeps losing, we do have a shot," cornerback Charles (peanuts for brains) Tillman said.
My embellishments in italics.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
