I think the giveaway was when he started to grow a second head

The New York Phokking Times, citing lawyers with knowledge of test results, reports that Sammy Sosa is among the players who tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs in 2003. Though Sosa has been widely suspected of performance-enhancing drug use, this represents his first clear link to a positive test result. The 40-year-old, who announced his plans to retire from baseball earlier this month, is sixth on baseball's all-time home run list, with 609.
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Translated: HE DID A SHITLOAD OF STEROIDS

Sammy Sosa said Wednesday that he's ready to announce his formal retirement from baseball.

"I will calmly wait for my induction to the Baseball Hall of Fame," said a delusional Sosa. "I always played with love and responsibility and I assure you that I will not answer nor listen to rumors. If anything ugly comes up in the future, we will confront it immediately, but with all our strength because I will not allow anybody to tarnish what I did in the field."
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Sosa to return to Wrigley on July 29th!

Dat's right, when Kane County plays Peoria there will be a "performance" by the ZOOperstars! featuring Clammy Sosa...

Help us select who should be next to join the ZOOperstars!
Bud Sealig
112 votes
Ramdy Johnson
152 votes
Randy Mossquito
171 votes
Chippermunk Jones
826 votes
Dale Ferrett
173 votes
Dan Marhino
176 votes
Jason Squidd
126 votes
Fly Cobb
228 votes
Mike Byson
164 votes
Muhammed Albee
166 votes
Muhammed Alligator
190 votes
Pony Stewart
525 votes

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more wisdom from John "FULL@S#i+" Coleman

"Being a TV weatherman in San Diego is an outrageous scam," says KUSI NEWS' 6, 10 and 11 PM weathercaster. Then he laughs. He knows there is plenty of truth in his joke, but he also knows its a long way from the whole story. "Actually there is plenty of weather to forecast in San Diego from the morning marine cloud and fog banks to frosty nights and heat waves. There are Pacific winter storms, El Ninos and La Ninas, Santa Anas, SOSA's (Sort Of Santa Anas), WOFs (Walls of Fog) that come ashore following Santa Anas, June Gloom and there are mountain snow storms and summer heat waves. There are droughts and floods. We have plenty of weather. But we also have long spells of wonderful sunny, mild weather. San Diego is famous for our good weather. It's what makes this America's Finest City." Suckers!