Saturday, July 7, 2007


Sunday...Sunny...breezy. Hot and humid. Brains turned into mush. Highs in the mid 90s. Heat index readings 97 to 101 in the afternoon. Southwest winds 15 to 25 mph with gusts to around 30 mph. People dropping like flies.

San Diego:
Sunday...Cloudy in the morning...becoming partly cloudy. Patchy fog in the morning. Highs 68 to 73 near the coast to 72 to 77 inland. Light winds. Smiff, chillin'.

50 profile views?

Someone is checking Smiff out. Hey ladies, give Smiff a little ringy ding ding....

also like Smiff: he's fiery!


mortal lock defined

Brad Hawpe was down to his last strike before the Rockies would take a 6-5 loss when he delivered a deep blast to center for a home run off closer Antonio Alfonseca....

2nd Game: Vikings 12, Bears 0

Vikes throw shutout in the nightcap.

And if this isn't the national headline tomorrow, Ozzie is dead to me:

White Sox Manager Takes Own Life
Ozzie Guillen, 1964-2007

Friday, July 6, 2007

breaking all the rules

12 laws every blogger should know
For U.S. bloggers in particular, blogging has become a veritable land mine of potential legal issues, and the situation isn’t helped by the fact that the law in this area is constantly in flux. This article highlights 12 of the most important U.S. laws related to blogging and provides some simple and straightforward tips for safely navigating them....

Response to Richard Greathouse of St. Louis:

Go phokk yourself (look, no F).

Weekly’s use of “F” word irks Missouri patron
St. Louis area resident Richard Greathouse has called for Jefferson County (Mo.) Public Library to remove the free weekly Riverfront Times newspaper from distribution there. Greathouse saw the paper while he took his 13-year-old son to the library’s Northwest branch to research birds, and complained to Library Director Pam Klipsch. “The content of this thing really upset me,” Greathouse said. “They use the ‘F’ word in there.”

Final: Minnesota Vikings 20, Chicago Bears 14

Lovie should have gone with the onsides kick, i tells ya...

So you score 14 runs...and lose by 6? I expect to see Breaking News tonight that Ozzie Guillen has taken his own life, after murdering most of his pitching staff. Really, why hasn't he killed himself yet, like a real man? What is he waiting for? Might he be all talk, no action?

today's depressing quote by the Idiot-In-Chief

"Do you have blacks, too?"--Da RezzziDUNCE to Brazilian president Fernando Cardoso; Washington, D.C.; 11/8/01

K-Mad Killer

Diamondbacks optioned outfielder Carlos Quentin to Triple-A Tucson.
This probably should have been done a couple of months ago. Quentin is going to be a fine long-term regular, but it wasn't happening now, perhaps because of the shoulder he injured in spring training. He was hitting just .210/.299/.350 with five homers and 28 RBI in 200 at-bats.

Sout'side Suck-Fest

Name the last pitcher to give up 12 runs in a game...

Chi White Sox IP H R ER BB K HR Season ERA
J. Garland 3.1 11 12 11 3 0 2 3.92

Minnesota 4th Inning Summary
- L. Castillo walked
- J. Bartlett singled to left, L. Castillo to second
- J. Mauer singled to center, L. Castillo scored, J. Bartlett to third
- M. Cuddyer lined out to second
- J. Morneau singled to pitcher, J. Bartlett scored, J. Mauer to second, J. Mauer to third, J. Morneau to second on pitcher J. Garland's throwing error
- T. Hunter intentionally walked
- J. Kubel homered to deep right center, J. Morneau, T. Hunter and J. Mauer scored
- N. Masset relieved J. Garland
- J. Tyner popped out to shallow center
- N. Punto lined out to center
- End of Inning (6 Runs, 4 Hits, 1 Error)

The John Hopkins University

What a piece of shit.

Fouad Ajami, a professor (and he has won prizes! They love to give each other prizes!) at the esteemed university I once thought seriously of attending, has written a piece for the Wall Street Journal attracting some attention in which he says of Bush's approach to morality: "the one defining mark of [his] moral outlook is the distinction [he is able to make(?)] between friend and foe," which really only illuminates how difficult it is to find something nice to say about Bush. Being able to tell the difference between friend and foe is something we expect of our five year olds, something we hope our presidents have managed long ago. As well, the action of marking friend and foe is only the beginning of a process to determine proper action and context of action for the self. In the Bush presidency, marking friend and marking foe involves a process that has typically led to great corruption and great heartache. We are not talking about Churchill here. Instead we are talking of roses for politically connected corporations and endless ache for others.

Now Ajami was writing this piece earlier and calling for Bush to pardon Libby. His piece, pedantic, insipid and superficial, went beyond straining the bonds of credulity however and entered the realms of the insultingly delusional. He wrote:

In "The Soldier's Creed," there is a particularly compelling principle: "I will never leave a fallen comrade." This is a cherished belief, and it has been so since soldiers and chroniclers and philosophers thought about wars and great, common endeavors. Across time and space, cultures, each in its own way, have given voice to this most basic of beliefs. They have done it, we know, to give heart to those who embark on a common mission, to give them confidence that they will not be given up under duress. A process that yields up Scooter Libby to a zealous prosecutor is justice gone awry.

How does one have the audacity or just the sheer stupidity to compare Scooter Libby to a soldier right now? How is he comparable? When soldiers in Iraq fall are they wearing custom tailored suits while being advised on their movements by lawyers who bill thousands of dollars an hour? Is the consequence of their falling an easy stretch in a minimum security jail? In another tack, was it a war that the White House was fighting in order to convince the American public that attacking a country that had nothing to do with 9/11 or any terrorism directed against the United States was the right move to make even as we invaded another more culpable foe? If it was then war, then are we accusing the Bush presidency, by application of this logic, of bringing civil war to the United States? An odd and idiotic defense of the indefensible.

Getting caught up in this part of his article is to miss the point elsewhere that this fool who has a koosh job in a comfortable university (a university started in much more a spirit of challenging established authorities when it was begun about 130 years ago which has clearly lost its way on that score) believes that Libby has sacrificed something out of a nobility of spirit in choosing to reveal the identity of a secret United States agent and obstruct the justice of the United States in the pursuit of a flawed and tragic policy that has not revealed anything of any nobility at all, but has just allowed the rotten fruits of this administration to smell more strongly in the light of the larger stage of war than they would have if Bush was simply giving the environment away (another thing he excels at).

Why do we suffer these fools so docilely?

How does Professor Ajami have a job when he so publicly reveals not just his ignorance, but an appalling lack of reason, intelligence or any sense whatsoever of a political philosophy that contains insight, distinction or foresight? He is an apologist. A flunky. Increasingly, our system of higher education rewards morons like this while the more original thinkers are included out of a process out of fear that those more original thinkers will reveal these flunkies for what they are: dangerous fools with no more right to pontificate and teach than the dogs they resemble.

So a big "Go Fuck Yourself" to The John Hopkins University and the lapdogs they hire for this pathetic and dangerous administration.

world's least effective stimulant has been found

MLB announced Friday that Neifi Perez has been suspended for 25 games after testing positive for a banned stimulant.
The suspension is effective immediately and it sounds like the Tigers may call up Ryan Raburn to take his place on the roster. Losing Perez isn't much of a blow to the Tigers given that he's hitting .172 with a .487 OPS. Raburn, 26, is hitting .292 with solid power and speed at Triple-A.

it had to happen eventually

Manny Corpas is a Chicken.

Thursday, July 5, 2007

s#i+ blowing up

White Sox recalled RHP Gavin Floyd from Triple-A Charlotte.
He replaces David Aardsma on the roster. The White Sox were leaning towards starting Nick Masset in one of the games of the doubleheader Friday, but Floyd will get the nod instead. He's the top candidate for a permanent rotation spot later on when the White Sox deal one of their starting pitchers.

hmmm, i wonder who's to blame here....

Marlins placed RHP Josh Johnson on the 15-day disabled list with a right forearm strain.
Johnson figures to miss at least a few weeks after his latest setback. The Marlins really needed him back at 100 percent in order to make a run in the second half of the season.

What fiery young actor will play Sweet Lou?

There is going to be a tv show on ESPN (starting Monday) about the 1977 New York Yankees called "The Bronx Is Burning". Sure, it will probably suck, but i'll be tuning to watch Oliver Platt (as George Steinbrenner) and John Turturro (as Billy Martin!!) chewing up the scenery.

No one is listed as playing Lou Piniella, and though he is a bit old i would go with Mark Ruffalo in fiery-mode.

can't wait until the Olympic-sized delays

'People were scared and crying'
The CTA blames a broken spring for Tuesday's post-fireworks shutdown.
• Comments: 'Obnoxious drunks'
• Video: CTA: 'We apologize'
CTA adds Police concert options

Yeah, is this a great country, or what?

"Well, it's an unimaginable honor to be the president during the Fourth of July of this country. It means these words, for starters. The great inalienable rights of our country. We're blessed with such values in America. And I--it's--I'm a proud man to be the nation based upon such wonderful values."--Da RezzziDUNCE trying out the english language at the Jefferson Memorial; Washington D.C.; 7/2/01

funny, once you stop caring (I'm so there)


you phokkinay better believe it buddy...

Good column, but why isn't this Morford feller in Gitmo yet?

Scooter Libby in Hell

The Average American Contemplates What All This Bush Presidency Stuff Has Been About

In light of the Libby sentence "commuting":


'Inconvenience' riles 'L' riders
Holiday travelers continued to steam after a post-fireworks glitch on an elevated train left hundreds stranded on packed, sweltering trains in the Loop.

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

we are living in a golden age (cont'd)

American wins hot-dog eating contest

In a gut-busting showdown that combined drama, daring and indigestion, Joey Chestnut emerged Wednesday as the world's hot dog eating champion, knocking off six-time titlist Takeru Kobayashi in a rousing triumph.

Chestnut, the great red, white and blue hope in the annual Fourth of July competition, broke his own world record by inhaling 66 hot dogs in 12 minutes — a staggering one every 10.9 seconds before a screaming crowd in Coney Island.

"If I needed to eat another one right now, I could," the 23-year-old Californian said after receiving the mustard yellow belt emblematic of hot dog eating supremacy.

Chestnut won in a bun-zer beating performance against Kobayashi, the Japanese eating machine who recently had a wisdom tooth extracted and received chiropractic treatment due to a sore jaw. But the winner of every Nathan's hot dog competition since 2001 showed no ill effects as he stayed with Chestnut frank-for-frank until the very end of the 12-minute competition.

Kobayashi finished with 63 HDBs — hot dogs and buns eaten — in his best performance ever. His previous high in the annual competition was 53 1/2. The all-time record before Wednesday's remarkable contest was Chestnut's 59 1/2, set just last month.

The two gustatory gladiators quickly distanced themselves from the rest of the 17 competitors, processing more beef than a slaughterhouse within the first few minutes. The two had each downed 60 hot dogs with 60 seconds to go when Chestnut — the veins on his forehead extended — put away the final franks to end Kobayashi's reign.

KO: Throwing Hard Fastballs

Keith Olbermann’s Special Comment: You ceased to be the President of the United States

How does he get away with this? I guess we still have the 1st Amendment?? Who knew?

I wonder what's different in this case?

- Bush has granted fewer pardons than any President in the past 100 years
- Bush has commuted just 4 sentences (is no one paying up?)
- Bush has denied more than 4,000 commutation requests (PHOKK YOU)
- Bush has denied more than 1,000 pardon requests (see previous PHOKK YOU)

anudder FLIP-FLOP by da Liar-In-Chief

"I would not replace the verdict of a jury unless there are new facts or evidence of which a jury was unaware, or evidence that the trial was somehow unfair."--George W. Bush, from his autobiography, "A Charge To Keep*" (uh, he wrote, uh, a book?)

*translated: "A Nation To Fuck"

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

Snowjob’s Libby Presser: A web of lies

"He was spinning so much that smoke was coming from the soles of his feet..."

Is God pissed with Duncan Hunter?

News Headline: "Muslim cleric blames drought on lack of faith in Allah."
News Headline: "Floods are judgment on society, say bishops."

Special Weather Statement Issued by the National Weather Service at 5:30 PM PDT on July 2, 2007

... The hottest weather so far this year over the Independence day Holiday...We're All DOOMED.

A HYOOGE upper level high pressure system over the Great Basin will bring very hot weather through Friday. The hottest days will be Wednesday and Thursday when many new record highs may be established.

High temperature forecasts for Wednesday and Thursday...

Beaches... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..75 to 80
beaches to 5 miles inland... ... ... ..80 to 85
5 to 10 miles inland... ... ... ... ... .85 to 90
western inland valleys... ... ... ... ..90 to 98
eastern inland valleys... ... ... ... ..98 to 110

Foothills and mtns below 6000 feet..98 to 110
mountains above 6000 feet... ... ... ..90 to 100
high deserts... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... 107 to 117
lower deserts... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..115 to 123

Even the coastal zones will feel some of the effects of this heat wave. Although the cooling influences of a shallow marine layer and onshore ocean breezes will keep temperatures in the 70s to near 80 at the immediate coast... just 5 to 10 miles inland the high temperatures will reach close to 90 degrees. Suckers!

Holiday revelers (Drunks) celebrating the Independence day Holiday with outdoor activities should take precautions to avoid heat exhaustion or heat stroke. Drink plenty of water... wear light colored loose fitting clothing... and take advantage of shaded areas and air conditioned buildings. Smiff plans to go to a nude beach...

This is a potentially dangerous fire situation (otherwise known as fire). The combination of extreme heat and very low humidities will elevate the fire hazard to critical levels. Unattended campfires... smoldering cigarettes cast into tinder dry brush... and Sparks from fireworks could ignite more fires. So if you plan to smoke, please get a fast-acting cancer and die ASAP...


Special Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald disputed Bush's assertion that the prison term was excessive. Libby was sentenced under the same laws as other criminals, Fitzgerald said. "It is fundamental to the rule of law that all citizens stand before the bar of justice as equals."

that's IT!

I am never eating at See Thru Chinese Kitchen again!

Smiff, Wells: Separated at Birth?

David Wells shut out the Marlins for 6 2/3 innings to win on Monday night.

1) Fat.
2) Bald.
3) Drunk.
4) Folksy.*
5) Goatees.
6) Throw shutouts.
7) Draft SHTEALS.
8) Live in San Diego.
9) Like hunting big game.
10) Stooopid, HYOOOGE @Holes?

Anyone seen these two together?

*Who wouldn't have a beer with them?

Monday, July 2, 2007

well, this seems premature...

Zach Duke was told Monday he doesn't have structural damage in his sore pitching elbow, but that he just totally sucks.

will the living envy the dead?

News item: Scott Podzzzednik will go back on the disabled list because of a rib cage injury.

anudder Smiff success story

Sonnanstine,An 8 6 1 1 1 6

HYOOOGE, Steaming, Pile of Bull$#!+

President’s Statement on Libby

idiots everywhere you look

Fascist Overtones From Rock Fans

Nazis? Never heard of them...

road trip? (Fung's driving?)

The AAA maps of the Wineries of California are here...

we are living in a golden age (cont'd)

News item: President Bush spared former White House aide I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby from a 2 1/2 year prison term on Monday, issuing an order that commutes his sentence.

Because when it comes to perjury, there's the trivial kind (lying about blowing the cover of a CIA agent in order to get back at the people who have been calling you on the lies you told to get a war started) and the impeachable kind (lying about a blow job).

after the Iraq War, the dumbest idea ever

"I know from an owner's perspective, this is a gold mine. To have a World Series Weekend, WSW, I think it will create a stage that the game has not seen."--Scott Boras, on his proposed World Series Weekend concept in which a nine-game series would begin with two games at a neutral site.

taking the L looking good these days...

Spilled pig parts shut down Edens

Smiff: sKILLy threat increasing

Skilling: Storm threat increasing

Who is Smiff's ideal Presidential candidate?

1. Theoretical Ideal Candidate (100%) (Smiff)
2. Dennis Kucinich (84%) Click here for info
3. Barack Obama (84%) Click here for info
4. Joseph Biden (72%) Click here for info
5. Alan Augustson (71%) Click here for info
6. Wesley Clark (71%) Click here for info
7. Christopher Dodd (70%) Click here for info
8. Hillary Clinton (70%) Click here for info
9. John Edwards (70%) Click here for info
10. Al Gore (67%) Click here for info
11. Michael Bloomberg (66%) Click here for info
12. Bill Richardson (59%) Click here for info
13. Mike Gravel (58%) Click here for info
14. Ron Paul (49%) Click here for info
15. Elaine Brown (41%) Click here for info
16. Kent McManigal (37%) Click here for info
17. Mike Huckabee (27%) Click here for info
18. Rudolph Giuliani (27%) Click here for info
19. John McCain (26%) Click here for info
20. Tommy Thompson (25%) Click here for info
21. Mitt Romney (21%) Click here for info
22. Chuck Hagel (19%) Click here for info
23. Sam Brownback (16%) Click here for info
24. Newt Gingrich (13%) Click here for info
25. Tom Tancredo (13%) Click here for info
26. Fred Thompson (10%) Click here for info
27. Duncan Hunter (8%) Click here for info
28. Jim Gilmore (7%) Click here for info

Catching up with da RezzziDUNCE

"I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe, and what I believe--I believe what I believe is right."--Rome; 7/22/01

"The Bob Jones policy on interracial dating, I mean I spoke out on interracial dating. I spoke against that. I spoke against out against interracial dating. I support the policy on interracial dating."--CBS Evening News; 2/25/00

"It's a time of sorrow and sadness when we lose a loss of life."--Wash. DC; 12/21/04

"We got the best workforce in the world."--Wash. DC; 12/2/05

"The folks who conducted to act on our country on September 11 made a big mistake. They underestimated America. They underestimated our resolve, our determination, our love for freedom. They misunderestimated the fact that we love a neighbor in need. They misunderestimated the compassion of our country. I think they misunderestimated the will and determination of the commander in chief, too."--Langley, VA; 9/26/01 (However, they did not misunderestimate his brain power.... Also, according to the blogger spellcheck, "misunderestimate" is not a word.)

"For a century and half now, America and Japan have formed one of the great and enduring alliances of modern times."--Tokyo; 2/18/02

"I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family."--Nashua, NH; 1/27/00 (Elected several months later...he's folksy!...I would like to have a beer with him....)

Sunday, July 1, 2007

when irresistable force of k-mad awfulness meets immovalbe object of k-mad suckiness (cont'd)

Scott Olsen (chix) prevailed in a battle (vs. Zach Duke, Smelt, now on DL) of two of the NL's most disappointing young left-handers (Sustained Untreatable Communicable K-Mad Status [SUCKS])...

how bad is Chicago getting?

Bad enough that Muncie, Indiana looked really good this weekend.