Saturday, February 2, 2008

bad karma follows Smiff to San Diego

News item: The Padres are looking at having Mark Prior begin a rehab assignment in April and return to the majors in early May.

Friday, February 1, 2008

Prepare to shudder

Ann Coulter ready to campaign for Clinton

I suppose the steam coming off this puddle of goo is also caused by global warming

News item: The persistent and dramatic decline in the snowpack of many mountains in the West is caused primarily by human-induced global warming and is not the result of natural variability in weather patterns, researchers reported yesterday.

Using data collected over the past 50 years, the scientists confirmed that the mountains are getting more rain and less snow, that the snowpack is breaking up faster and that more rivers are running dry by summer.

The study, published online yesterday by the journal Science, looked at possible causes of the changes -- including natural variability in temperatures and precipitation, volcanic activity around the globe and climate change driven by the release of greenhouse gases. The researchers' computer models showed that climate change is clearly the explanation that best fits the data.

guess the government entity

No fair peeking.

Thursday, January 31, 2008

Hey, Ralph, explore THIS!

Nader Explore 08

When Old Things Become New Again: Nader Exploring a Possible 2008 Spoiler Candidacy

everyone has written a book

Even Chris Coste.

yet annudder outrage

Have you heard Wal-Mart's minimum wage in Mexico? $0 per hour.

Right now, 19,000 teens aged 14 to 16 work as grocery baggers at Wal-Mart stores in Mexico. These teenagers wear Wal-Mart uniforms and service Wal-Mart customers, but Wal-Mart doesn't pay them.

In order to sidestep international labor laws, Wal-Mart calls them "volunteers," and forces them to work only for tips.

Expect "World is coming to an end" sized delays

LSD has SUUUCKED this whole month, and now this...

The National Weather Service has issued a winter storm warning for the Chicago area starting at 6 p.m., predicting that up to 7 inches of snow could fall by Friday morning.

A storm from the Southern Plains will begin moving into the Chicago area Thursday afternoon with snow flurries that are expected to intensify in the evening and overnight, meteorologist Stephen Rodriguez said.

The storm warming is in effect until 6 p.m. Friday for Cook, DuPage and Will Counties and other counties to the south. A snow advisory is in effect for northern counties, including McHenry, Lake and Kane.

Temperatures will remain in the upper 20s throughout the Thursday and drop into the lower 20s Thursday evening. Windchill factors and high winds will not be a concern, Rodriguez said.

Farther south, near Morris and Pontiac, up to a foot of snow is expected.

now this is a tag team

Obama Is Latest To Receive Dated Pop-Cultural Endorsement

In a move that's sure to provide a boost to Obama's fortunes among time-travelling high school kids from the early 1980s, Hulk Hogan - professional wrestler and reality teevee divorcee - has backed the Illinois Senator on the the Jimmy Kimmel show. Hogan, in picking Obama, cited something about "cards" and how Obama doesn't judge people based upon "the way people dress," which makes sense, considering Hogan offered his support whilst clad in a shimmery piece of yellow Saran Wrap that looked like it was stolen off the set of Miami Vice.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

finally, some good news

McCain Leads Obama by Six, Clinton by Eight

The latest Rasmussen Reports survey of Election 2008 shows Republican frontrunner Senator John McCain with single-digit leads over Democratic Senators Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama. McCain now leads Clinton 48% to 40%. He leads Barack Obama 47% to 41%.

dere is annudder quagmire directly below dis one

News item: Four months after announcing troop reductions in Iraq, President Bush is now sending signals that the cuts may not continue past this summer...

News item: The U.S. military plans to boost the number of neighborhood outposts across the capital by more than 30 percent this year even as American forces begin to withdraw, the new commander of U.S. forces in Baghdad said Tuesday.

Have you wondered how the Twins screwed this up?

The Twins traded P Johan Santana to the Mets for OF Carlos Gomez, P Phil Humber and minor league Ps Deolis Guerra and Kevin Mulvey.

Instead of deals that would have netted Philip Hughes and Melky Cabrera or Jacoby Ellsbury and Jon Lester, the Twins waited and ended up with this collection of nobodies, never-wuzzes and never-willbes. Really, take a look at Gomez's minor league record. It SUCKS. Guerra is 18 - chances he does anything in the majors? Think Dennis Kucinich. Humber: draft bust. And a Kevin? Can't trust 'em.

So who's to blame for this? The Twins GM is named Bill Smith. Nice going, Smiff.

Add art to the list of things that ain't what it used to be.

"Artist" Mary Carothers regarding her latest "artwork," a 1978 Chevy Nova frozen in a block of ice:

"We're redefining our processes of --"

Shut the fuck up.

"We're asking the public to think about freedom and power, to become aware --"


Chevy Nova on Ice

Can you imagine 4-8 years of this?

Sen. John McCain told a crowd of supporters on Sunday, “It’s a tough war we’re in. It’s not going to be over right away. There’s going to be other wars.” Offering more of his increasingly bleak “straight talk,” he repeated the claim: “I’m sorry to tell you, there’s going to be other wars. We will never surrender but there will be other wars.”

finally, some good news (cont'd)

Fox News Is in for a Very Rough 2008

"The point, instead, was... [t]o spell out that Fox News was nothing more than a Republican mouthpiece and that Democrats need not engage with the News Corp. giant."

Is that true? I hadn't noticed... shocking...

What have these blood-thirsty man-eaters ever done for us anyway?

They'll rip your face off as much as look at ya...

Senators complain about delay in polar bear protection

...senators, i mean.

credit where it's due

sKILLy nailed it.

East Coast asshole opens luxury hotel here

News item: Travelers who want to be the first to sleep at Donald Trump’s new Chicago hotel Wednesday will pay $325 to $1,425 for the privilege...

Those are the posted rates for the 339-room riverside inn, which will take on the city’s most expensive hotels, a group that includes the Peninsula and Four Seasons...

For $325 a night, a guest can stay in a 600-square-foot unit with a king-sized bed and a kitchen, according the hotel’s Web site. Guests who want more space can pay $1,425 for a 2,140-square-foot suite with two bedrooms, three bathrooms, a kitchen, dining room and lake view...

The state of your brain is dead.

2002: "The state of our union has never been stronger."
2003: "Our union is strong."
2004: "The state of our union is confident and strong."
2005: "The state of our union is confident and strong."
2006: "The state of our union is strong - and together we will make it stronger."
2007: "The state of our union is strong."
2008: "The state of our union will remain strong."

chilly out deres

San Diego
temp: 50
wind chill: 50

temp: 0
wind chill: -639 kelvin

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

For a member of the Horror bullpen: odds are 5 to 2

News Item: Public is assured that the odds are 20 billion to 1 against being hit by an out-of-control 10-ton U.S. spy satellite expected to re-enter Earth's atmosphere in a month or so.

we are living in a golden age (cont'd)

QT Trickle-On Economics Update:

Project Feed the Thousands in Vermont fell short of its goal of 7,000 bags of food for the hungry as a fashion designer announced a line of $3,000 python-skin handbags injected with botox to make them softer and plumper.

expect gargantuan, historic, frostbite-causing delays

News item: A spokeswoman for the Chicago Transit Authority says winter weather equipment is already in place in on rapid transit trains, including snow plows on the front of trains and heaters to keep track switches from freezing. The CTA says it does not anticipate weather-related scheduling or operating contingencies for buses and trains at this time.

another possibility: they're both "idiots"

News item: Romney, McCain accuse each other of being "liberal"

A REAL weather story

Not like that crap Smiffy posts about in Southern Kaliforniya. Going from 50 degrees to 0. Now THAT's weather...

Winter storm on its way
By Tina Shah Tribune reporter
11:08 AM CST, January 29, 2008

What felt like a damp, spring day in the Chicago area Tuesday morning will rapidly turn into a windy, bitterly cold winter storm later in the day.

The area is expected to experience sub-zero temperatures accompanied by gusty winds reaching 50 m.p.h. by tonight, said Edward Fenelon, meteorologist for the National Weather Service. The temperature Tuesday morning was 46 degrees.

A cold front coming from central Missouri will move east and hit Chicago about 3 p.m. Rapidly increasing winds, single-digit temperatures and 1 to 3 inches of snow will follow. High winds will blow snow around, reducing road visibility to a quarter-mile to a half-mile, Fenelon said.

"Hopefully folks who went to work this morning brought a jacket," he said.

The weather service has issued a winter storm warning, which means such weather conditions are expected to take shape, from noon Tuesday until noon Wednesday. The wind chill is expected to reach minus 20 degrees by Wednesday morning.

Flights at O'Hare International Airport were experiencing delays averaging 30 minutes Tuesday morning, said Karen Pride, a spokeswoman for the Chicago Department of Aviation. The airport was also reporting about 150 cancellations, Pride said.

Midway Airport was not reporting any delays or cancellations.

Tribune reporter Jeremy Gorner contributed to this report.

14.5 minutes and counting

Unless, of course, he did it....

Drew Peterson's old windows on eBay for 99 cents; magazines also up for sale

Though, surprisingly, this wasn't his idea...

Windows from house Drew Peterson LIVED IN

Did he?

Or didn't he? Doesn't matter, vote on it anyway...

Should Obama have snubbed Clinton?
Yes (1541 responses) 48.8%
No (1616 responses) 51.2%
3157 total responses (Results not scientific, but idiotic)

Not for the squeamish (Smiff that means you)

A. Was stealing and had his dignity stolen instead,
B. Fought a fence and the fence won,
C. Will appear in court once he can walk again,
D. All of the above.

finally, some good news

The bonuses keep coming

The grim toll that the U.S. mortgage crisis has taken on financial markets has been felt worldwide, from traders in Hong Kong to small-town mayors in Europe to pensioners in the American Midwest.

But largely spared have been financiers on Wall Street, a place where brokers, bankers and traders are called into corner offices at the end of each year and told how large a bonus they’ll receive for the year’s work. The size of the figure reflects their value to the company, and many feared — even complained out loud — that the amount would be badly affected by the subprime mess.

They needn’t have worried. Wall Street bonuses totaled $33.2 billion in 2007, down just 2 percent, by the estimates of the New York state comptroller’s office.

Monday, January 28, 2008

Brian Bannister: Genius?

From the quotes on - here's one that sounds more intelligent than ANYTHING that's ever come out of Hank Steinbrenner's mouth - of course that would be true of a fart as well...but you know:

"Secondly, whether you like it or not, baseball is a game of randomness. We play outdoors (mostly) in changing elements and field dimensions, and each pitch results in a series of events that can go in either teams favor. One thing that I have have come to accept is that just because I train hard physically, I practice perfectly, I prepare diligently, and execute a pitch exactly as I wanted, it can still result in a home run. In golf, if you analyze all the variables correctly (lie, distance, slope, wind, etc.) and execute your swing perfectly, it will result in a great shot. Not so for a pitcher or a hitter. A hitter can swing the bat perfectly and it will result in an out more than six times out of ten. Therefore, as a pitcher, I study and play to put the percentages in my favor more than anything because I know that I can't control the outcome in a single game or series of games, but over the course of a season or a career I will be better than average."
--Royals starter Brian Bannister, on the role of chance in baseball. (Tim Dierkes,

Pat Gillick:Genius

According to ESPN's Jayson Stark, the Phillies and Pedro Feliz have agreed to a two-year deal.

Why any team felt it had to go to two years to get Feliz is a mystery. He didn't get a multiyear deal last year, and his stock certainly hadn't increased at all. The Phillies should have held firm at one year and tried to do better next winter. Feliz's addition leaves Wes Helms with no role on the team. Perhaps they'll reconsider the Marlins' offer to take on a portion of his salary. Greg Dobbs will return to a reserve role. In Feliz, the Phillies are getting an elite defender and a guy who could hit 25 homers while playing half his games in Citizens Bank Park. He'll have an awful OBP, of course, but that's less of a problem with three guys who can get on base 40 percent of the time in the middle of the order. He'll probably hit seventh between Geoff Jenkins and Carlos Ruiz.

Well, I'm starting a "My S#i+ Don't Stink" campaign...

Bush aiming to establish positive legacy

I'm putting one thing in the positive column for now: did not start war with Iran. Of course, this could change by tomorrow. Can't think of anything else. Anyone?

Apparently, there was a golf tournament here and Tigers Woods won! And they're coming back in June!!

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As George Carlin once said, "I'd rather watch flies fuck."

Looks like bullshit, don't it?

Rain: It's baaaaack....
After a brief reprieve, rain is falling around San Diego County again today and forecasters says another storm is moving into the area Tuesday*. Above, mud covers state Route 78, 2½ miles east of San Pasqual Academy on Sunday
Weather forecast Rainfall totals Traffic update
From today's U-T: Storm makes muddy mess

*So what will it be - 3 inches, a foot, or Biblical?

Lies, Damn Lies And

Clemens' agent releases report refuting steroid allegations

NEW YORK - Roger Clemens' agent released an 18,000-word statistical report Monday to refute allegations that the pitcher's career rebounded around the time period he was accused of using performance-enhancing drugs.

"Clemens' longevity was due to his ability to adjust his style of pitching as he got older, incorporating his very effective split-finger fastball to offset the decrease in the speed of his regular fastball caused by aging," said the report, created by Randy Hendricks and two associates at his firm.

Oh yeah. THAT explains it. You know, like Jordan switching from his high flying style to the fadeaway jump shot. Exactly the same thing. Case closed.

I'm sorry, but you can't produce a statistical report that proves no steroid use. You just can't. You can MAYBE show that on average a pitcher's fastball decreases by x MPH as they get older, and Clemens was on target, or something like that, but that doesn't PROVE it. The bottom line is that there was no testing back then, so we will never know for sure. All you can do is say you didn't take steroids, that other guy is lying, and I'm gonna sue his ass. But this bullshit stat report (and I haven't even read it yet) is bullshit.

I'll let the experts of the LoC dissect the report...

Click here for report

Smiff, hook a brotha up

Marijuana vending machines in US

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Are you sitting down? Prepare to be shocked...

From the Paul Wolfowitz and Bill Kristol School of Forecasting:

SAN DIEGO – Despite scattered reports of mudslides and minor flooding, the storm rolling through the region Sunday has so far failed to live up to its billing, county officials said. In terms of rainfall and intensity, “the storm turned out to be a lot less than expected,” said Stephen Rea, emergency services coordinator with the county's office of emergency services.

The brunt of the wet weather, though, is expected to come later Sunday and Monday. “We're just beginning,” said Noel Isla, a National Weather Service forecaster.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, go phokk yourself.