The only thing we have to fear...
I don't know why Europeans are so much better at change than we are ... For whatever reason, France -- no stranger to tradition -- could scrap its 350-year-old franc and embrace the euro while we can't even replace dollar bills with sturdier dollar coins.
Part of it is leadership vacuum -- our politicians continually run for re-election, and who wants to risk alienating the generous zinc industry by scrapping the penny? Americans resist change, not because we love the status quo, but because we're terrified that whatever comes next will be worse. That isn't a laudable national quality, but then we didn't invent timidity either. As Hamlet muses, we'd "rather bear those ills we have, than fly to others that we know not of. Thus conscience does make cowards of us all."
And there is a definite cowardly feel to this moment in American history. Serious problems face us, yet the public howl is for inaction.
Showing posts with label How to Suck at Everything. Show all posts
Showing posts with label How to Suck at Everything. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Monday, January 19, 2009
Less than 24 hours left for Bush to destroy the universe
If you don't think he's capable of it, read this. It's possible that nobody ever sucked at anything as much as he has sucked at this.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Why the Democrats will lose the Senate seat in 2010
Because they think that "if a Democrat loses a U.S. Senate race in Illinois, it will mean that things have gone horribly wrong in the next two years, and Roland Burris will be the least of the Democrats' problems."
It wasn't that long ago that Illinois was a swing state (the Blagoviator is the first Democratic governor in, what, 100 years? Or did it only seem that long? And the last two went to jail too...). I'm not sure if George Bush did for the Republicans nationally what George Ryan did for the Republicans in Illinois or the other way around, but Dems only started winning every statewide election when Ryan became the poster child for political corruption, and the Democrats seem to have settled that old score nicely.
If I were Mark Kirk, I'd have my press release announcing my candidacy ready to fire off five minutes after Senator Blagovurris (D-God) is sworn in.
It wasn't that long ago that Illinois was a swing state (the Blagoviator is the first Democratic governor in, what, 100 years? Or did it only seem that long? And the last two went to jail too...). I'm not sure if George Bush did for the Republicans nationally what George Ryan did for the Republicans in Illinois or the other way around, but Dems only started winning every statewide election when Ryan became the poster child for political corruption, and the Democrats seem to have settled that old score nicely.
If I were Mark Kirk, I'd have my press release announcing my candidacy ready to fire off five minutes after Senator Blagovurris (D-God) is sworn in.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
add this to the list of things Bush has phokked up
It's no longer cool to look stupid.
[Reagan's] advisors proved so unable to get him to read his briefing materials that some of them began conveying the information in cartoon form... In this way, as in so many others, George W. Bush followed the Reagan script. In the 2000 campaign, he famously flubbed a quiz on world leaders and talked defiantly about “Grecians” and “nucular weapons.” He said he knew he was going to win when he read a New Yorker profile in which Al Gore cited the philosopher Maurice Merleau-Ponty.
But if Reagan burnished the anti-intellectual brand, Bush has now wrecked it. Sometime between the catastrophe in Iraq, the catastrophe in New Orleans and the catastrophe on Wall Street, Americans decided that people who didn’t know much about government weren’t likely to run it very well.
[Reagan's] advisors proved so unable to get him to read his briefing materials that some of them began conveying the information in cartoon form... In this way, as in so many others, George W. Bush followed the Reagan script. In the 2000 campaign, he famously flubbed a quiz on world leaders and talked defiantly about “Grecians” and “nucular weapons.” He said he knew he was going to win when he read a New Yorker profile in which Al Gore cited the philosopher Maurice Merleau-Ponty.
But if Reagan burnished the anti-intellectual brand, Bush has now wrecked it. Sometime between the catastrophe in Iraq, the catastrophe in New Orleans and the catastrophe on Wall Street, Americans decided that people who didn’t know much about government weren’t likely to run it very well.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Criminality & Failure Chronicled
And it must be said that while Blago will probably spend a few years in prison, Bush will walk away scot-free despite his many, many worse crimes... because, apparently, if the President does it, it isn't illegal.
President Bush tells interviewers he does not care how history will portray him.
But in our third story tonight, the Los Angeles Times has obtained an internal White House memo giving cabinet members talking points for painting history a rosy portrait of Mr. Bush even though his image will only get worse, as new, damning facts emerge.
What does the memo say? And how are we obliged to correct its bizarre claims?
To start, it says Mr. Bush, quote, "...promised to raise standards and accountability in public schools -- and delivered the No Child Left Behind Act," an act so poorly received, that the Times points out it became a standard applause line this year... for Democrats.
Also from the memo: he curbed AIDS in Africa.
Its spread has slowed, and Mr. Bush has won praise for this but he has not won any praise for withholding funds from groups that promote condom use, a proven life-saver in favor of abstinence-only programs, which have also failed in this country.
Also, Mr. Bush's foreign-aid puritan, Randall Tobias quit last year after patronizing an escort service linked to prostitution.
Also from the memo: Mr. Bush lifted the economy with his tax cuts and, quote, "responded with bold measures to prevent an economic meltdown."
In 2005, Mr. Bush told a 57-year-old single mother of three, one of them mentally challenged, that it was "fantastic", "uniquely American" that she had to work three jobs unlike half a million people who have no job as of November... in the first presidency for decades during which family earning power fell, and income disparity continued to rise.
The "meltdown" he "prevented" now having claimed several Wall Street institutions which had weathered 1929, and 9/11... but not 43.
And, of course, the old standby, quote, he "kept the American people safe"...
Not counting twenty percent of his first term, January 20th, 2001, until September 11th, 2001. On 9/11, he sat reading "My Pet Goat" for seven minutes after learning America was under attack. Then covered up environmental dangers at Ground Zero, and failed to provide for the health of rescue workers. Helped bin Laden's family flee the country. Opposed the 9/11 Commission, the Department of Homeland Security. Tried to outsource America's port security to Dubai. Did not keep us safe from the shoe-bomber... alert passengers and crew did that...
Did not keep five Americans safe from anthrax... and never caught their killer.
Still hasn't caught the killer of 17 sailors aboard the USS Cole.
Still hasn't caught the killer of 3,000 on 9/11... outsourcing that to Afghans... turning that country into a narco-state, giving bin Laden a safe haven in the region of Waziristan by literally endorsing a truce that Pakistan signed with the Taliban there.
And most of all, not keeping safe 4,200 Americans dead in his war, a war that made us less safe, invading a country that posed no grave or gathering threat, provided a check on Iran... then igniting insurrection by disbanding the Baathist Party, creating a Muslim theocracy purged of its moderate intelligentsia. One in which freedom has marched backward for women.
And Lebanon, too, elected a Muslim theocracy... run by Hamas, no less.
Keeping us safe?
Terrorism is rising worldwide.
The still-thriving enemy has claimed Pakistan's Benazir Bhutto...
And thousands of people in India... including 200 in Mumbai last month.
Russia can now invade U-S allies without fear of retribution.
And Mr. Bush failed to prevent Kim Jong Il from joining the ranks of nuclear powers.
Despite even more ample warning than he received prior to 9/11, he lifted not a finger to keep a major American city safe from wind and water.
And what, finally, of the claim in the talking points... that Mr. Bush has always upheld, quote, "the honor and the dignity of his office"?
You must define dignity downward to find it in a lie.
The lie of "Mission Accomplished."
Of upholding the Constitution... or protecting habeas corpus.
That we do not eavesdrop without warrants... do not eavesdrop on Americans.
The lie that we do not torture.
That we do not play politics with justice... that we do not use the wheels of justice... to crush dissent.
That we do not betray those who serve us in secret.
That we uphold, rather than commute, the penalties for those who do.
That we do not stage fake news conferences, do not censor science... do not plant propaganda in Iraqi newspapers... nor pay US columnists to write it in American newspapers.
Or push respected Americans to vaporize their honor and dignity with lies to the world.
Or lie about the causes of the credit crisis, high gas prices, or even that he watched the first plane hit the North Tower on TV.
Where is the honor in vowing a crusade? Of daring those who would kill American troops to "bring it on?"
Of promising to care for the troops after you put them in harm's way, without body armor or up-armored vehicles?
Where was the honor, the dignity in giving a dead soldier's mother a presidential coin and telling her "don't sell it on eBay."?
His memo, revealing yet another lie.
He does care how history will portray him.
And now... he knows.
~
Monday, December 8, 2008
add this to Bud Lite's List of Fails (cont'd)
Santo falls short again of Hall of Fame induction
December 8, 2008
BY CHRIS DE LUCA Staff Reporter
LAS VEGAS — Despite a restructured process that was thought to favor him, former Cubs third baseman Ron Santo was again denied entry into the National Baseball Hall of Fame today when the Veterans Committee failed to vote in any of the 10 finalists on the post-1942 ballot.
Santo got the most votes, but fell well short of the 75 percent necessary. He got 39 votes, good for 60.9 percent. Jim Kaat got 38 for 59.4 percent and Tony Oliva got 33 for 51.6 percent. None of the other 10 finalists got more than 50 percent of the vote.
‘‘When our board of directors restructured the Veterans Committee after the 2007 election, it did so with the goal of ensuring the voters — the living Hall of Famers — would review their peers,’’ Hall of Fame chairman Jane Forbes Clark said. ‘‘The 10 post-1942 ballot finalists all spent a substantial part of their playing career in the 1960s or the 1970s, and a vast majority of the voters were either actively playing, managing or involved in baseball in those two decades.’’
A sub committee did review a ballot of players who began their careers before 1943 and elected nine-time All-Star and five-time World Series champion Joe Gordon, a second baseman who played for the Yankees and Indians.
Among the players on the post-1942 ballot, Santo was the clear favorite under the revamped system, which cut the field to just 10 names before a final vote. There has been growing pressure on the committee to swing its doors open after gaining the reputation for being hard-liners.
‘‘The process was not redesigned with the goal of necessarily electing someone, but to give everyone on the ballot a very fair chance of earning election through a ballot of their peers,’’ Clark said. ‘‘The vote reinforces the selections of the Baseball Writers’ Association of America and maintains the high standards set by the BBWAA. A 75 percent threshold is extremely difficult to attain, but the highly selective process helps ensure that enshrinement in the Baseball Hall of Fame remains the greatest honor in the game.’’
Contacted by the Sun-Times on Sunday, Santo admitted he was anxious.
‘‘Nothing's going to change in my life if I don't get in,’’ he said before the results were announced. ‘‘I believe what I've done in baseball is Hall of Fame, and that would satisfy me immensely. But it's not going to make a difference to [family, friends and fans who have reached out]. They're still going to be around if I don't get in. That's what means a lot to me. ‘‘Am I excited about it? I've been so disappointed. This is my best chance, so don't get me wrong. But I thought I had a great chance [the past two elections].’’
Rounding out the post-1942 ballot were Gil Hodges (28 votes, 43.8 percent), Joe Torre (19, 29.7 percent), Maury Wills (15, 23.4 percent), Luis Tiant (13, 20.3 percent), Vada Pinson (12, 18.8 percent), Al Oliver (9, 14.1 percent), Dick Allen (7, 10.9 percent).
More evidence morons were voting: Dick Allen finishes behind Wills, Pinson & Oliver. His OPS+ is 19th all-time, the same as Willie Mays.
~
December 8, 2008
BY CHRIS DE LUCA Staff Reporter
LAS VEGAS — Despite a restructured process that was thought to favor him, former Cubs third baseman Ron Santo was again denied entry into the National Baseball Hall of Fame today when the Veterans Committee failed to vote in any of the 10 finalists on the post-1942 ballot.
Santo got the most votes, but fell well short of the 75 percent necessary. He got 39 votes, good for 60.9 percent. Jim Kaat got 38 for 59.4 percent and Tony Oliva got 33 for 51.6 percent. None of the other 10 finalists got more than 50 percent of the vote.
‘‘When our board of directors restructured the Veterans Committee after the 2007 election, it did so with the goal of ensuring the voters — the living Hall of Famers — would review their peers,’’ Hall of Fame chairman Jane Forbes Clark said. ‘‘The 10 post-1942 ballot finalists all spent a substantial part of their playing career in the 1960s or the 1970s, and a vast majority of the voters were either actively playing, managing or involved in baseball in those two decades.’’
A sub committee did review a ballot of players who began their careers before 1943 and elected nine-time All-Star and five-time World Series champion Joe Gordon, a second baseman who played for the Yankees and Indians.
Among the players on the post-1942 ballot, Santo was the clear favorite under the revamped system, which cut the field to just 10 names before a final vote. There has been growing pressure on the committee to swing its doors open after gaining the reputation for being hard-liners.
‘‘The process was not redesigned with the goal of necessarily electing someone, but to give everyone on the ballot a very fair chance of earning election through a ballot of their peers,’’ Clark said. ‘‘The vote reinforces the selections of the Baseball Writers’ Association of America and maintains the high standards set by the BBWAA. A 75 percent threshold is extremely difficult to attain, but the highly selective process helps ensure that enshrinement in the Baseball Hall of Fame remains the greatest honor in the game.’’
Contacted by the Sun-Times on Sunday, Santo admitted he was anxious.
‘‘Nothing's going to change in my life if I don't get in,’’ he said before the results were announced. ‘‘I believe what I've done in baseball is Hall of Fame, and that would satisfy me immensely. But it's not going to make a difference to [family, friends and fans who have reached out]. They're still going to be around if I don't get in. That's what means a lot to me. ‘‘Am I excited about it? I've been so disappointed. This is my best chance, so don't get me wrong. But I thought I had a great chance [the past two elections].’’
Rounding out the post-1942 ballot were Gil Hodges (28 votes, 43.8 percent), Joe Torre (19, 29.7 percent), Maury Wills (15, 23.4 percent), Luis Tiant (13, 20.3 percent), Vada Pinson (12, 18.8 percent), Al Oliver (9, 14.1 percent), Dick Allen (7, 10.9 percent).
More evidence morons were voting: Dick Allen finishes behind Wills, Pinson & Oliver. His OPS+ is 19th all-time, the same as Willie Mays.
~
Friday, December 5, 2008
MAC reaches new low in awfulness
Buffalo 42, Ball St. 24
DETROIT (AP)—Ball State fumbled away its perfect season.
The 12th-ranked Cardinals coughed it up four times and Buffalo scored off each turnover, routing the previously unbeaten team 42-24 Friday night in the Mid-American Conference championship game.
Ball State (12-1) finished the regular season undefeated for the first time since 1949, but entered the game without much of a shot to bust into the Bowl Championship Series because it trailed Utah in the standings.
The Bulls returned fumbles 92 and 74 yards on consecutive drives late in the third quarter to take a 28-17 lead.
Buffalo (8-5) won its first MAC title, capping the program’s first bowl-eligible season since joining college football’s top tier of teams in 1999
DETROIT (AP)—Ball State fumbled away its perfect season.
The 12th-ranked Cardinals coughed it up four times and Buffalo scored off each turnover, routing the previously unbeaten team 42-24 Friday night in the Mid-American Conference championship game.
Ball State (12-1) finished the regular season undefeated for the first time since 1949, but entered the game without much of a shot to bust into the Bowl Championship Series because it trailed Utah in the standings.
The Bulls returned fumbles 92 and 74 yards on consecutive drives late in the third quarter to take a 28-17 lead.
Buffalo (8-5) won its first MAC title, capping the program’s first bowl-eligible season since joining college football’s top tier of teams in 1999
~
Planetary Bush Disaster (soon)
Jimmy Carter and George W. Bush’s Future
"Let’s hope that President Bush, in figuring out what to do in his post-presidency, borrows a page from Jimmy Carter. There are lots of diseases waiting for a wealthy, well-connected Texan to lead the fight against."
Really? Would we want George Bush to take up the cause of disease eradication? I think the record indicates that he would be the best friend pestilence ever had.
You know the Guinea Worm sees a way out here...
"Let’s hope that President Bush, in figuring out what to do in his post-presidency, borrows a page from Jimmy Carter. There are lots of diseases waiting for a wealthy, well-connected Texan to lead the fight against."
Really? Would we want George Bush to take up the cause of disease eradication? I think the record indicates that he would be the best friend pestilence ever had.
You know the Guinea Worm sees a way out here...
Monday, November 17, 2008
Thursday, November 13, 2008
The Bush effect
Like many others who have served in President George W. Bush's administration -- among them former Secretary of State Colin Powell and former Treasury chief Paul O'Neill -- Paulson, 62, will leave office casting a smaller shadow than when he arrived.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
heckuva job MLB
Games that start in the middle of the night. Games that never end. Baseball-hating "umpires" umpiring baseball. A commissioner who changes the rules in the middle of the series, unbeknownst to the players. Inviting the Tampa Bay Jesus Rays to participate. And at the end of it all, a chance that the Philadelphia Phillies might win a championship.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Well yeah, however Obama's tax plan is still COMMUNISM
Email of the Day: Reaganomics is a totally failed policy
By John Amato Monday Oct 27, 2008 12:01pm
From the C&L inbox, Rick writes:
I loved your recap of the McCain interview with Brokaw. Just wanted to point out that not only did Reagan raise taxes during a recession, but Bill Clinton raised taxes in 1993 a year after his election. We were mired in the worst recession since the depression at the time. Not one GOP Congressman or Senator voted for Clinton’s tax raise at the time and they all claimed it would ruin the economy, the same as now. Well, as you know, Bill raised taxes and we saw the greatest growth in our history along with record surpluses that will probably never be equaled. Under Reagan we saw the beginning of the deregulation era that brought us the savings and loan crisis, the Enron debacle and this current banking crisis that we find ourselves in today. When Reagan took office in 1980 our total debt was under 1 trillion dollars. Today it is 11 trillion and we had surpluses under Clinton. So under Reagan, Bush 1 and Bush 2 we increased our national debt from 1 trillion to 11 trillion.
It’s time that everybody realized that Milton Friedman and Reaganomics is a totally failed policy and until we do realize it, we are doomed to keep repeating it. It’s remarkable that more so called experts have not addressed the failed “deregulation” policies of the GOP as the main contributor to this collapse of our banking system.
~
By John Amato Monday Oct 27, 2008 12:01pm
From the C&L inbox, Rick writes:
I loved your recap of the McCain interview with Brokaw. Just wanted to point out that not only did Reagan raise taxes during a recession, but Bill Clinton raised taxes in 1993 a year after his election. We were mired in the worst recession since the depression at the time. Not one GOP Congressman or Senator voted for Clinton’s tax raise at the time and they all claimed it would ruin the economy, the same as now. Well, as you know, Bill raised taxes and we saw the greatest growth in our history along with record surpluses that will probably never be equaled. Under Reagan we saw the beginning of the deregulation era that brought us the savings and loan crisis, the Enron debacle and this current banking crisis that we find ourselves in today. When Reagan took office in 1980 our total debt was under 1 trillion dollars. Today it is 11 trillion and we had surpluses under Clinton. So under Reagan, Bush 1 and Bush 2 we increased our national debt from 1 trillion to 11 trillion.
It’s time that everybody realized that Milton Friedman and Reaganomics is a totally failed policy and until we do realize it, we are doomed to keep repeating it. It’s remarkable that more so called experts have not addressed the failed “deregulation” policies of the GOP as the main contributor to this collapse of our banking system.
~
Thursday, September 25, 2008
suction (things that suck)
5:17 PM me: Brett Myers? SUCKS.
Kevin: not now - working on inspiring LoC post...
democracy hangs in the balance...
must... save... the people...
5:18 PM me: i'll say, it could all hinge on that post
Kevin: i phink so
5:27 PM me: fuckface working on a 9 hitter thru 4 IP
Steve Carlton he ain't
Kevin: he's crafty
me: anudder big fly for Howard
5:34 PM me: shockingly, assface gives up another run
also, Big Z: the big sucking
5:35 PM Kevin: you're just setting yourself up for a spectacular phillytastic disappointment
5:36 PM me: total body weight loss tomorrow:
The Brewers will have Yovani Gallardo start Thursday's game against the Reds.T
BOOM
Kevin: yes
5:37 PM me: GUONE:
- C. Durbin relieved B. Myers
Kevin: bout phokking time
5:43 PM me: well now, you laid America bare wiff dat last post
5:47 PM apparently, David Letterman is going to crush McCain for cancelling on him
also, this just in: i am going the fuck home
5:48 PM zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Kevin: bout phokking time
i did didnt i?
me: then there's this crap:
- C. Durbin relieved B. Myers
- C. Ruiz catching
- O. Infante reached on fielder's choice, B. McCann scored, C. Kotchman to second on first baseman R. Howard's throwing error
- J. Francoeur struck out swinging
- B. Jones singled to left, C. Kotchman scored, O. Infante to second
fuck it, i'm gone
5:48 PM Kevin: shocking
da phokking thing SUCKS
~~~~~
7:23 PM me: Jeff Samardzija SUCKS
Kevin: smiff is angry?
me: YOU SUCK
Kevin: me?
YOU suck
7:24 PM me: EVERYTHING SUCKS
Kevin: on this we can agree
7:25 PM me: but at least i didn't watch President SUCKS
7:26 PM Kevin: mccain is: a) senile b) insane c) drunk d) a titanic asshole on a gargantuan scale of yoogeness e) all of the above
7:31 PM me: liar? no lying liar deres?
7:32 PM Kevin: guess dat poll needs some shakin up an some fixin
7:35 PM me: Couric: I’m just going to ask you one more time - not to belabor the point. Specific examples in his 26 years of pushing for more regulation.
Palin: I’ll try to find you some and I’ll bring them to you.
Kevin: to be fair, i would have flubbed that question too
7:45 PM me: Bob Howry about to SUCK
next job for Bush: new GM of the Detroit Lions
7:46 PM Kevin: that would be a black hole of suck
7:52 PM me: Mets SUCK AGAIN. Runner at 3rd, no outs, don't score.
Kevin: its like they had persistent SUCKS
7:53 PM me: Ramon Castro WHIFFS wiff bases loaded
7:54 PM This just in:
your Chicago White Sox SUCK
Kevin: massively
me: SWEPT by the Pirahnas (wrong again--ed.)
Did Ozzie make a choking sign after the game?
7:56 PM Kevin: why were they in first to begin with?
me: KO replacing McCain on Letterman tonight
Kevin: yeah dat sounds good
me: more news on Palin's witch doctor
Kevin: dat dude sounds purdy creepy
7:57 PM me: he's the Alan Keyes of witch doctors
Kevin: i phink dat nails it
8:02 PM me: speaking of SUCKING:
Homunculi in 5th
Kevin: yeah dat totally sucks...
8:05 PM me: McCain took time out of his day to meet with Lady de Rothschilde
who SUCKS
Kevin: but is not an elitist
8:07 PM me: Mets' Luis Ayala SUCKS
Kevin: you really hate the mets
8:10 PM me: something that doesn't suck: this tasty $7 pinot
WAH ROH:
Wootz is in...
8:11 PM Kevin: youre missing a delightful phokking merlot here
me: Oct 16th: lots of drinking begins
Kevin: will the living envy the dead?
me: a good chance
8:16 PM Mets lose - THEY SUCK
8:17 PM Kevin: toad ya
8:20 PM me: 54,416 LOSER Muts fanz
Kevin: its shocking how much they suck
8:21 PM you cant blame them for wanting to squeeze in one last visit to shangri-la
me: aka The DUMP
8:24 PM Holy Crap:
8:25 PM Phil Hughes pitched well tonight
Kevin: expect something gruesome
8:33 PM me: here's a surprise:
Jonathon Sanchez totally SUCKED tonight
Kevin: we hatesez him
8:49 PM me: the Fant Effect: every player i've picked up this month has gotten inured:
Willy Taveras is done for the season because of a stress fracture in his right lower leg.
Kevin: how is smiff to blame?
me: i know you?
Kevin: dat would do it
8:56 PM me: in related news:
Cameron Maybin left Wednesday’s game in the sixth inning due to a stiff left hip.
8:57 PM Kevin: are wheelchairs allowed on the field?
me: not yet
Kevin: shit
8:58 PM me: Bush: "business that make bad decisions should fail"...like ALL of his businesses, inc. his presidency - WHAT A PHOKKING MORON
he SSSSSSSSSSSSSSUCKS
8:59 PM Kevin: it makes my head want to explode
9:00 PM me: K. Correia: 1 IP, 6 runs...all YOU
Kevin: i guess... he was so last year tho
9:16 PM me: Yahoo SUCKS
Kevin: now what?
9:17 PM me: fantasy section is down
9:18 PM Kevin: dats ok - letterman is HATING on mccain
and here comes ko
9:19 PM me: YAY
9:21 PM Kevin: letterman: "this just stinks..."
9:42 PM me: Yahoo still SUCKS
9:43 PM Kevin: no question
Kevin: not now - working on inspiring LoC post...
democracy hangs in the balance...
must... save... the people...
5:18 PM me: i'll say, it could all hinge on that post
Kevin: i phink so
5:27 PM me: fuckface working on a 9 hitter thru 4 IP
Steve Carlton he ain't
Kevin: he's crafty
me: anudder big fly for Howard
5:34 PM me: shockingly, assface gives up another run
also, Big Z: the big sucking
5:35 PM Kevin: you're just setting yourself up for a spectacular phillytastic disappointment
5:36 PM me: total body weight loss tomorrow:
The Brewers will have Yovani Gallardo start Thursday's game against the Reds.T
BOOM
Kevin: yes
5:37 PM me: GUONE:
- C. Durbin relieved B. Myers
Kevin: bout phokking time
5:43 PM me: well now, you laid America bare wiff dat last post
5:47 PM apparently, David Letterman is going to crush McCain for cancelling on him
also, this just in: i am going the fuck home
5:48 PM zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Kevin: bout phokking time
i did didnt i?
me: then there's this crap:
- C. Durbin relieved B. Myers
- C. Ruiz catching
- O. Infante reached on fielder's choice, B. McCann scored, C. Kotchman to second on first baseman R. Howard's throwing error
- J. Francoeur struck out swinging
- B. Jones singled to left, C. Kotchman scored, O. Infante to second
fuck it, i'm gone
5:48 PM Kevin: shocking
da phokking thing SUCKS
~~~~~
7:23 PM me: Jeff Samardzija SUCKS
Kevin: smiff is angry?
me: YOU SUCK
Kevin: me?
YOU suck
7:24 PM me: EVERYTHING SUCKS
Kevin: on this we can agree
7:25 PM me: but at least i didn't watch President SUCKS
7:26 PM Kevin: mccain is: a) senile b) insane c) drunk d) a titanic asshole on a gargantuan scale of yoogeness e) all of the above
7:31 PM me: liar? no lying liar deres?
7:32 PM Kevin: guess dat poll needs some shakin up an some fixin
7:35 PM me: Couric: I’m just going to ask you one more time - not to belabor the point. Specific examples in his 26 years of pushing for more regulation.
Palin: I’ll try to find you some and I’ll bring them to you.
Kevin: to be fair, i would have flubbed that question too
7:45 PM me: Bob Howry about to SUCK
next job for Bush: new GM of the Detroit Lions
7:46 PM Kevin: that would be a black hole of suck
7:52 PM me: Mets SUCK AGAIN. Runner at 3rd, no outs, don't score.
Kevin: its like they had persistent SUCKS
7:53 PM me: Ramon Castro WHIFFS wiff bases loaded
7:54 PM This just in:
your Chicago White Sox SUCK
Kevin: massively
me: SWEPT by the Pirahnas (wrong again--ed.)
Did Ozzie make a choking sign after the game?
7:56 PM Kevin: why were they in first to begin with?
me: KO replacing McCain on Letterman tonight
Kevin: yeah dat sounds good
me: more news on Palin's witch doctor
Kevin: dat dude sounds purdy creepy
7:57 PM me: he's the Alan Keyes of witch doctors
Kevin: i phink dat nails it
8:02 PM me: speaking of SUCKING:
Homunculi in 5th
Kevin: yeah dat totally sucks...
8:05 PM me: McCain took time out of his day to meet with Lady de Rothschilde
who SUCKS
Kevin: but is not an elitist
8:07 PM me: Mets' Luis Ayala SUCKS
Kevin: you really hate the mets
8:10 PM me: something that doesn't suck: this tasty $7 pinot
WAH ROH:
Wootz is in...
8:11 PM Kevin: youre missing a delightful phokking merlot here
me: Oct 16th: lots of drinking begins
Kevin: will the living envy the dead?
me: a good chance
8:16 PM Mets lose - THEY SUCK
8:17 PM Kevin: toad ya
8:20 PM me: 54,416 LOSER Muts fanz
Kevin: its shocking how much they suck
8:21 PM you cant blame them for wanting to squeeze in one last visit to shangri-la
me: aka The DUMP
8:24 PM Holy Crap:
8:25 PM Phil Hughes pitched well tonight
Kevin: expect something gruesome
8:33 PM me: here's a surprise:
Jonathon Sanchez totally SUCKED tonight
Kevin: we hatesez him
8:49 PM me: the Fant Effect: every player i've picked up this month has gotten inured:
Willy Taveras is done for the season because of a stress fracture in his right lower leg.
Kevin: how is smiff to blame?
me: i know you?
Kevin: dat would do it
8:56 PM me: in related news:
Cameron Maybin left Wednesday’s game in the sixth inning due to a stiff left hip.
8:57 PM Kevin: are wheelchairs allowed on the field?
me: not yet
Kevin: shit
8:58 PM me: Bush: "business that make bad decisions should fail"...like ALL of his businesses, inc. his presidency - WHAT A PHOKKING MORON
he SSSSSSSSSSSSSSUCKS
8:59 PM Kevin: it makes my head want to explode
9:00 PM me: K. Correia: 1 IP, 6 runs...all YOU
Kevin: i guess... he was so last year tho
9:16 PM me: Yahoo SUCKS
Kevin: now what?
9:17 PM me: fantasy section is down
9:18 PM Kevin: dats ok - letterman is HATING on mccain
and here comes ko
9:19 PM me: YAY
9:21 PM Kevin: letterman: "this just stinks..."
9:42 PM me: Yahoo still SUCKS
9:43 PM Kevin: no question
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
so it's good that FEMA sucks?
I think we can safely grasp the theme of Thomas Frank's book - HATE.
"The best public servant is the worst one. A thoroughly first-rate man in public service is corrosive. He eats holes in our liberties. The better he is and the longer he stays the greater the danger. If he is an enthusiast -- a bright-eyed madman who is frantic to make this the finest government in the world -- the black plague is a house pet by comparison."
But the onrushing flow swamps all taxonomies. Mass firing of federal prosecutors; bribing of newspaper columnists; pallets of shrink-wrapped cash "misplaced" in Iraq; inexperienced kids running the Baghdad stock exchange; the discovery that many of Alaska's leading politicians are apparently on the take -- our heads swim. We climb to the rooftop, but we cannot find the heights of irony from which we might laugh off the blend of thug and Pharisee that was Tom DeLay -- or dispel the nauseating suspicion, quickly becoming a certainty, that the government of our nation deliberately fibbed us into a pointless, catastrophic war...
Which leaves us to marvel helplessly at what appears to be a spectacular run of lousy luck. My, what a lot of bad apples they are growing these days!
"The best public servant is the worst one. A thoroughly first-rate man in public service is corrosive. He eats holes in our liberties. The better he is and the longer he stays the greater the danger. If he is an enthusiast -- a bright-eyed madman who is frantic to make this the finest government in the world -- the black plague is a house pet by comparison."
But the onrushing flow swamps all taxonomies. Mass firing of federal prosecutors; bribing of newspaper columnists; pallets of shrink-wrapped cash "misplaced" in Iraq; inexperienced kids running the Baghdad stock exchange; the discovery that many of Alaska's leading politicians are apparently on the take -- our heads swim. We climb to the rooftop, but we cannot find the heights of irony from which we might laugh off the blend of thug and Pharisee that was Tom DeLay -- or dispel the nauseating suspicion, quickly becoming a certainty, that the government of our nation deliberately fibbed us into a pointless, catastrophic war...
Which leaves us to marvel helplessly at what appears to be a spectacular run of lousy luck. My, what a lot of bad apples they are growing these days!
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
PATHETIC
Jose Canseco was knocked out in the boxing ring in the 1st round by an NFL kicker who hasn't been in the league in years.
~
~
Friday, July 11, 2008
are you sitting down?
EPA Won't Act on Emissions This Year
Instead of New Rules, More Comment Sought
The Bush administration has decided not to take any new steps to regulate greenhouse gas emissions before the president leaves office, despite pressure from the Supreme Court and broad accord among senior federal officials that new regulation is appropriate now...
The proposal that the EPA will unveil today, known as an advance notice of proposed rulemaking, stands in stark contrast to the agency's original Dec. 5 finding -- backed up by a lengthy scientific analysis -- that global warming is unequivocal, that there is "compelling and robust" evidence that the emissions endanger public welfare and that the EPA administrator is "required by law" to act to protect Americans from future harm.
Instead of New Rules, More Comment Sought
The Bush administration has decided not to take any new steps to regulate greenhouse gas emissions before the president leaves office, despite pressure from the Supreme Court and broad accord among senior federal officials that new regulation is appropriate now...
The proposal that the EPA will unveil today, known as an advance notice of proposed rulemaking, stands in stark contrast to the agency's original Dec. 5 finding -- backed up by a lengthy scientific analysis -- that global warming is unequivocal, that there is "compelling and robust" evidence that the emissions endanger public welfare and that the EPA administrator is "required by law" to act to protect Americans from future harm.
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
War Isn't News
"If I were to watch the news that you hear here in the United States, I would just blow my brains out because it would drive me nuts."
-- Lara Logan, chief foreign correspondent for CBS News
Why does Lara hate free markets? The media give the people what they want, and war is really depressing. (And the people are pretty stupid.)
-- Lara Logan, chief foreign correspondent for CBS News
Why does Lara hate free markets? The media give the people what they want, and war is really depressing. (And the people are pretty stupid.)
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