Friday, December 24, 2010

this won't matter after the bees disappear

Wik-Bee Leaks: EPA Document Shows It Knowingly Allowed Pesticide That Kills Honey Bees

The world honey bee population has plunged in recent years, worrying beekeepers and farmers who know how critical bee pollination is for many crops. A number of theories have popped up as to why the North American honey bee population has declined--electromagnetic radiation, malnutrition, and climate change have all been pinpointed. Now a leaked EPA document reveals that the agency allowed the widespread use of a bee-toxic pesticide, despite warnings from EPA scientists....


Thursday, December 23, 2010

Meet your new Chair of the House Foreign Affairs Committee (great work everyone!)

How Ileana Ros-Lehtinen killed the bill to prevent forced child marriages

Even The Google is ready to get this Christmas party started

Showing results for live-blogging the end times.
Search instead for the original terms: live-glogging the end times

Which reminds me, there is a critical shortage of Pennsylvania Dutch Egg Nog (the One True Egg Nog) in the Chicago area this year. (I blame Obama.) Thank God I stocked up early, though I may still run out before New Year's. Evanston First had none ... none!

In past years it's been more of a self-regulating supply, as I tend to run out at about the same time that I can no longer fit through the door to go out and buy more.

Coming to Ryan's Defense

Have we gone mad?

Or are we just so sex-obsessed and confused that this is really a story? I didn't stick around to see the piece on the today show this morning, but I read the story in the Sun-Times today. "Rex-Rated." Elliott Harris reports that "there may be more trouble afoot for the New York Jets." Brilliant. Ryan and his wife may be in trouble for what - making a foot-fetish video.

My goodness. They are married. The news is that there are videos on the internet which have surfaced which allegedly show Michelle Ryan showing her feet and in which the voice of Rex Ryan can be allegedly heard, supposedly in a state of increasing excitement. Rex when asked says this is a personal matter.

Where is the story here? They are married. Frankly if they wanted to make videos of themselves going at it and broadcast them on the interwebs, I don't know why that isn't an affirmation of their love and a sign of the strength of their marriage. Maybe slightly misguided, but there are lots of misguided people in the world. The guy is attracted to his wife. He digs feet. She's into it. Sounds like they decided together to make movies about it, presumably so they could watch later and enjoy themselves. Maybe they decided to share them with other people, but so what? It shouldn't be any big secret that married people have sex. (Hint: this includes your old parents fumbling around in the twilight and then icing-down afterwards). I have even been told that unmarried people have sex - but we all know that God doesn't approve of this.

I don't know who gives a good God damn about this. The big difference between this and the Jenn Sterger thing is that Favre and Sterger weren't married. (Though frankly if Deana Farve was fine with it - I wouldn't have any problems with that either). Here's what we have learned about the Jets this year - (1) Grown men sometimes swear, (2) football players sometimes put their own financial interests ahead of the interests of the team, (3) men in a locker room will cat call a hot blonde in a locker room, sometimes inappropriately, (4) powerful men sometimes try to use their power to bed attractive single women, even when they are married and (5) Rex Ryan loves his wife. If any of these things resulted in an epiphany for you or a loved one, I'd suggest you need to get out more.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Monday, December 20, 2010

Rumbling Stumbling Bumbling....

Yesterday night's interception by whoever that big white guy was reminded me of dis play in berz history...

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Surprise! Snarky Fox retort is fullas#i+

Shocking that the senior vice president of "news" editorial at Fox just makes up s#i+ off the top of his head

The study’s authors continued, “These effects increased incrementally with increasing levels of exposure (Fox Noise as radioactive waste ~ Ed.) and all were statistically significant. The effect was also not simply a function of partisan bias, as people who voted Democratic and watched Fox News were also more likely to have such misinformation than those who did not watch it — though by a lesser margin than those who voted Republican.”

Asked for comment on the study, Fox News seemingly dismissed the findings. In a statement, Michael Clemente, who is the senior vice president of news editorial for the network, said: “The latest Princeton Review ranked the University of Maryland among the top schools for having ‘Students Who Study The Least’ and being the ‘Best Party School’ – given these fine academic distinctions, we’ll regard the study with the same level of veracity it was ‘researched’ with.”

Mr. Clemente oversees every hour of objective news programming on Fox News (so he works, like, never? ~ Ed.), which is by far the nation’s most popular cable news channel.

For the record, the Princeton Review says the University of Maryland ranks among the “Best Northeastern Colleges.” It was No. 19 on the Review’s list of “Best Party Schools.”

Skilly Cares!®

Pineapple Express to bring flooding rains, up to 10 feet of mountain snow to California; pattern boosting Chicago 2 week snow estimates; ice locusts; End Times; Grady Sizemore carrying deer meat up slippery icy stairs

The Pineapple Express' arrival not only signals the start of that region's annual rainy season, but also threatens to unleash yoooge low-elevation downpours, which by Christmas Eve (next Friday) could amount to 8 to 12 inches adjacent to southern California's mountains outside Los Angeles and San Diego--enough rain to provoke flooding and mudslides, particularly along westward facing slopes.

Just like Fungster said - it matters cuz it affects us.

Weather troubles with the Pineapple Express won't be limited to California alone. Far from it! (Phokk! ~ Ed.) Warnings of rough weather this weekend and beyond are out across sections of 10 western states. And the impact of this stormy atmospheric regime may ultimately extend to the Midwest and areas east.

Friday, December 17, 2010


Fearsome, Undertaker-Nabbing, Geek-Snatching Terror from the Enchanted Ruin

Get Your Monster Name

K-Mad working for the World's Awfulest Newspaper (tie)?

McClure - Field in 'great shape' for Bears-Vikings game - Chicago Breaking Sports

The Tribune's Vaughn McClure was on hand to witness the snow removal. In fact, the response to the University's plea for help was so overwhelming, the school turned away eager volunteers, according to the Minneapolis Star Tribune.

Skilly sez:

"Below normal temperatures for the 15th day this month. Highs Friday to be 12 degrees below normal."

All you climate change Chicken Littles can suck a snowman.

If you believe a lie often enough, you're probably a Fox News viewer

Fox News makes you dumb (though if you're tuning in regularly, you were probably pretty dumb to begin with). And Fox News led the cable news ratings for 100 months in a row as of April 2010. And the skill most richly rewarded by our electoral system is the ability to raise YOOOOGE amounts of money to go on TV with commercials that are totally fullas#i+.

Those who watched Fox News almost daily were significantly more likely than those who never watched it to believe that:

~ most economists estimate the stimulus caused job losses (12 points more likely)
~ most economists have estimated the health care law will worsen the deficit (31 points)
~ the economy is getting worse (26 points)
~ most scientists do not agree that climate change is occurring (30 points)
~ the stimulus legislation did not include any tax cuts (14 points)
~ their own income taxes have gone up (14 points)
~ the auto bailout only occurred under Obama (13 points)
~ when TARP came up for a vote most Republicans opposed it (12 points)
~ and that it is not clear that Obama was born in the United States (31 points)

These effects increased incrementally with increasing levels of exposure and all were statistically significant. The effect was also not simply a function of partisan bias, as people who voted Democratic and watched Fox News were also more likely to have such misinformation than those who did not watch it--though by a lesser margin than those who voted Republican.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Saturday, December 11, 2010

I'm not sure even Jimmy Boeheim can down a cupcake DIS YOOOOGE

(AP) -- Syracuse may be unbeaten and coming off an impressive performance against a fellow Top 10 team, but Jim Boeheim feels improvement is needed.

He should get plenty of it against winless Colgate.

The eighth-ranked Orange look to extend their winning streak over the Raiders to a whopping 45 when the upstate New York neighbors meet at the Carrier Dome on Saturday night.

Friday, December 10, 2010

K-Mad will be happy to know

Almost 3 years later, we're still number 1 on Google for golf/plutocracy nexus. Didn't Briggs have a band by that name?

Hey Wisconsin, get to know your new Senator - you sure as hell deserve him

How did this jackass beat Feingold again? Was everyone drunk? Wait... that could be it actually...

Ron Johnson, R-Lobbyists

Sen.-elect Ron Johnson promised to change how Wisconsin is represented in Washington.

And he is doing just that.

Johnson narrowly defeated U.S. Sen. Russ Feingold, D-Wis., who was the chamber’s chief advocate for the sort of lobbying and ethics reforms that would limit the power of special-interest groups and eliminate pay-to-play politics. Feingold’s refusal to play Washington-insider games led to his being labeled by Washingtonian magazine as “the number one enemy of lobbyists in Washington.”

Johnson won’t be so labeled.

The new Republican senator has announced that his chief of staff will be Don Kent, a former vice president at Navigators Global LLC.

What’s Navigators Global LLC? A Washington-based power broker operation that describes itself as “an elite team of federal lobbyists, political strategists and communications experts.”

That’s right. Ron Johnson has put a lobbyist in charge of his Senate office...

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Baseball's most brain-dead player: we have a winner

Answer Man: Luke Scott talks Nugent, hunting and Obama origin

Baltimore Orioles slugger Luke Scott stopped by baseball's winter meetings Tuesday and, after some harmless chatter about his team's offseason dealings, stated with conviction that President Barack Obama was not born in the United States.

Oh, yes, he did. Scott's opinion about the president's birthplace — while certainly not unique — was a stunning climax to a friendly and frank 20-minute Answer Man session that spanned his enthusiasm for baseball, hunting, firearms, personal responsibility and smaller government....

LS: Obama ... hmm ... Obama does not represent America. Nor does he represent anything what our forefathers stood for. This country is basically built on an attitude. It's a way of life. It's not because you're born here. It's not that you're supposed to take from those who have and give to those who haven't. That kills a country. It killed Russia....

[the comments have been turned off for this story]

Come on, Luke, just say it: he's black!

Now with audio. Sounds dumber than it reads.

Dis just in... President Obama: Back up for a second, Gibbsy. Baltimore still has a baseball team?


Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Alan Simpson: student ...

of the Rummy School of Poetry:

We took a big banana
and threw it into the gorilla cage
and the gorilla picked it up, like they do —
they peel it, mash it, play with it,
but they will eat some

-- Alan Simpson, on the work of the fiscal commission he co-chaired

Only in America (cont)

30,000 Cuban cigars seized at O'Hare - Chicago Breaking News

U.S. customs officials say they've seized 30,000 Cuban cigars shipped from Europe to O'Hare International Airport in the past two weeks and are inspecting another 70,000 they also suspect are from Cuba.

The flood of the "popular contraband" is the biggest seen at the Customs and Border Protection's Chicago field office, which typically seizes 10 to 12 cigars a week at the O'Hare international mail facility, officials said.

It's illegal to import any Cuban product into the United States without a license from the U.S. Treasury Department (wonder how hard it is to get one of dose, is it as hard as getting a marijuana stamp? - ed).

"Our officers stationed at (Customs and Border Protection) mail facilities routinely discover and seize a variety of contraband arriving from all over the world, but this is the first time in Chicago we have seen this level of activity involving illegal cigars," said David Murphy, director of field operations for the Chicago field office.

Customs officers have confirmed that 30,000 cigars are of Cuban origin and are still sorting through 70,000, said Brian Bell, a Customs spokesman.

The seized cigars will be destroyed, officials said (what a phokking waste, unless, of course, they are destroyed one at a time - ed).

Apprently the spike was due to some sort of rule change the gubmint made because of something the terrists did - maybe that toner cartridge thing. So once again, the terrists have won.

Life in Oklahoma

Shariah at the Kumback Café

"There's just too much Muslim influence, all this Shariah law..."

Yes, that sounds like Oklahoma... sure... Muslims running everything... we hatesez that too...

I asked Frank Lawson, 83, about Obama. "I think the young man’s a Muslim," he said. (If dis blog had a nickel for every time... Ed.) ... "I got on the computer, punched in Koran, and there it is in black and white: They are out to rule the world and if you don’t convert, they kill you." (Was dat on dat Christian Google? Ed.)

But I thought Smiff was already awesome

What's in a name? Man goes from Smith to Awesome

An Oregon man has had an Awesome name change.

Douglas Allen Smith Jr. says he changed his name to Captain Awesome last month because he was inspired by the nickname of a character on the NBC television show "Chuck" — Dr. Devon "Captain Awesome" Woodcomb.

Monday, December 6, 2010

We won't have the Toddster to kick around anymore

And unlike Nixon, it's hard to foresee some dramatic career turnaround, though there's probably an elementary school somewhere in town looking for a new hall monitor.

At least he's going out classy!

Preckwinkle says when her staffers requested information, they got mounds of unorganized or incomplete paper, among other issues.

Cook County government has never had a reputation for squeaky clean dealings, but things appeared to get worse under Stroger. A court-ordered monitor says he violated political hiring more than 150 times since 2008.

"Chicago is not the most corrupt American city. It's the most theatrically corrupt."
-- Studs Terkel

Friday, December 3, 2010

He's our a$$hole

Even the Cubs hate him... and for good reason...

LoC Modern Corporate Gibberish in the News

Integrys mulls offer for Nicor

Olbermann rips the lazy, ignorant phokks who kept Santo out of the Hall

Ron Santo and baseball's shame

The crescendo of indignation builds just like they do in KO's special comments. You can almost hear an Affleckian full-on rant coming on.

On a personal note, too late did I learn to appreciate the artistry of Santo's radio broadcasts.

So now we know: 10% of Chicagoans are heartless, brain-dead Sox fans

Should Santo be inducted into the Hall?

In your estimation, should Ron Santo be inducted into the baseball Hall of Fame?

* Yes (7060 responses) 90%

* No (776 responses) 10%

7836 total responses

(Results not scientific)


Monday, November 29, 2010

Annudder Gift Idea

Santa/Obama Nexus, or, When Redistributors Attack the Christmastution

Taking his message into Yuletide mode, Hedrick penned "The Liberal Clause," a tea-party-themed Christmas book for children featuring a socialist Barack Obama, "Elf Peloosi" and special appearances by Joseph Stalin (No Hitler cameo? Disappointing... Ed.) and an Afro-centric minister named "Reverend Blight."

Hedrick is traveling to New York today to film a Christmas-special segment for Comedy Central's "Daily Show with Jon Stewart," Hedrick consultant Robert Harmon told The Ticket. "And sales-wise, he's doing great," Harmon added. (Yay! Ed.)

Hedrick lost his insurgent GOP primary bid in August but has segued promptly into promoting "The Liberal Clause." (Hedrick has also been busy appearing in court, on assault charges filed by his wife -- who has since sought to rescind a no-contact order between the couple, claiming that he was trying to calm her down at a time when she was "out of control.") (Ho! Ho! Ho! Ed.)

"The Liberal Clause" depicts socialist elves (Redundant? Aren't they all socialists? Ed.) -- led by Obama -- trying to take over the North Pole (forcing elves to reduce their carbon footprint, among other power grabs) and control Hedrick's hometown of Camas, Washington.

But one little girl's dedication to the "Christmastution" (Is that a thing? Ed.) saves the town from a complete takeover.

Ho! Ho! Ho!

News item: A 37-year-old woman was arrested Sunday on allegations of pushing a 100-year-old woman working as a greeter at a Milwaukee Wal-Mart, a police spokeswoman said Monday.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Hey retail workers! You've worked hard all year for that tasty Thanksgiving dinner!

Phokk you! You're not getting one! Bet now you wish you'd gotten that MBA like we have. Dummies! While you're up, pour me another drink.

Black Friday Moves to Thursday as Stores Woo Shoppers

Once an @$$hole...

Suarez accepts ban for biting opponent - News | FOX Sports on MSN

When his "hand of God" kept Uruguay in the World Cup, I felt sorry for him. You know, what would you have done in that situation? Way to erase all that goodwill, @$$hole!

Monday, November 22, 2010

The most feasible, cost-effective solution to the budget deficit might be...

...building a time machine to take us back to 2000 so we can un-electorate the Rezzzidunce, George Phokking Asshole W. Bush.

"The outlook for the federal budget over the next decade continues to be bright. Assuming that current tax and spending policies are maintained, CBO projects that mounting federal revenues will continue to produce growing budget surpluses for the next 10 years. CBO's updated budget outlook continues a trend of steady and sometimes dramatic improvement in budget projections since 1997, reflecting the continuing impact of strong economic growth over the past few years. Although there are signs that economic growth is moderating from recent robust levels, substantial budget surpluses remain on the horizon for the next decade in the absence of large changes in policy. Over the longer term, however, budgetary pressures linked to the aging and retirement of the baby-boom generation threaten to produce record deficits and unsustainable levels of federal debt.

CBO projects that, in the absence of new legislation, total budget surpluses would grow from about 3 percent to more than 5 percent of GDP from 2002 through 2011. Under current policies, total surpluses would accumulate to an estimated $2 trillion over the next five years and $5.6 trillion over the coming decade (see Summary Table 1). Such large surpluses would be sufficient by 2006 to pay off all debt held by the public that will be available for redemption."

-- Congressional Budget Office, Janamary 2001

Can't we just cancel Thanksgiving and make Thursday a shopping day?

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Meet Congressman-Elect Joe Walsh

He's for cutting people off unemployment insurance (LAZY PHOKKS), while extending tax cuts for these guys and these guys and these guys (the deserving rich). Thanks, Tea Partiers, for bringing us your not-treading-on-me brand of freedom!

This might be why Fox "News" is OK with Glenn Beck comparing everybody to Hitler

Roger Ailes, NPR executives and #NPRgoesNazi

After a day of negative commentary over Roger Ailes' comparison of NPR executives to Nazis, the Fox News executive has apologized to the Anti-Defamation League, Politico reports.

"I was of course ad-libbing (well, of course... we understand... Ed.) and should not have chosen that word," Ailes wrote in a letter to Abe Foxman, ADL's national director. "but I was angry at the time because of NPR's willingness to censor Juan Williams for not being liberal enough."

But if NPR executives are sitting around expecting an apology, well, that would be just so Goebbels of them.

@ChiTribRogers: Still Brain-Dead

Lunkhead @ChiTribRogers still thinks W-L record for starting pitchers is more important than ERA, WHIP, IP, K's etc.

Price: Mel Antonen, USA Today; Tony Fabrizio, Tampa Tribune; Phil Rogers, Chicago Tribune; Chris Assenheimer. Elyria (OH) Chronicle.

This just in: Cubs-shillin' Drool Cup Phil is also for the Ricketts' plan to fleece the state, which is already bankrupt and shit.


Wednesday, November 17, 2010

This is your brain on cheese

MADISON, Wis. (AP) — Prosecutors say a rural Wisconsin man blasted his TV with a shotgun after watching Bristol Palin's "Dancing with the Stars" routine, sparking an all-night standoff with a SWAT team.

According to court documents, 67-year-old Steven Cowan became enraged while watching Palin dance on Monday evening. He felt Palin was not a good dancer.

He went to his bedroom and returned to the living room with a shotgun and blasted the TV, then pointed the gun at his wife, who managed to escape and call police. Tactical officers surrounded the house and finally managed to talk Cowan out Tuesday morning.

He has been charged second-degree reckless endangerment, a felony punishable by up to 10 years in prison and $25,000 in fines. It was unclear whether Cowan has retained an attorney.

Monday, November 15, 2010

May the Goat Curse continue to work...

The Ricketts family is against “wasteful government spending” unless it helps make them rich

It's funny that Joe Ricketts is so passionate against “wasteful government spending” when his family, led by son, Cubs Chairman Tom Ricketts, has just asked the people of Illinois to borrow $300 million in a bond offering so that it can rehab Wrigley Field. This request follows a vote in Mesa, AZ which guaranteed the Cubs $84 million in public funds to build a new spring training stadium and facility.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Fun things to remember about the Bush tax cuts

1. The Bush tax cuts, written by Congresses led by Denny Hastert and Trent Lott and Bill Frist and signed by George Bush, were set to expire at the end of 2010. Got a prollem wif dat? Talk to them.

2. Part of the rationale for passing "temporary" tax cuts is that we were running record phokking budget surpluses at the time. We are, if the misspelled rally signs of Tea Party activists are to be believed, no longer doing this.

3. The Class War is on, and the plutocrats are kicking your ass.

4. George W. Bush destroyed my country.

5. Sorry if this isn't really much fun after all.

6. George W. Bush is still a yooooge phokking asshole.

Knee Jerk Reactions (cont)

What's next, underwear?

U.S. to ban some toner, ink cartridges from flights | Chicago Breaking Business

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Senator-elect Mark Kirk is talking about fiscal responsibility. Be afraid.

What Senator-elect Mark Kirk said on election night:

"Tonight, the people of Illinois have spoken, and your vote was heard around the world. It was a vote for fiscal responsibility..."

What the Congressional Budget Office said in January 2001 when Congressman Mark Kirk and President George Bush took office:

"The outlook for the federal budget over the next decade continues to be bright. Assuming that current tax and spending policies are maintained, the Congressional Budget Office (CBO) projects that mounting federal revenues will continue to outstrip spending and produce growing budget surpluses for the next 10 years. The update of CBO's budget outlook that this chapter describes continues a trend, since 1997, of steady and sometimes dramatic improvement, reflecting the continuing impact of strong economic growth over the past few years ...

"Under current policies, total surpluses would accumulate to an estimated $2 trillion over the next five years and $5.6 trillion over the coming decade. Such large surpluses would be sufficient by 2006 to pay off all debt held by the public that will be available for redemption.

"Within those totals, on-budget surpluses would accumulate to nearly $1 trillion over the next five years and about $3.1 trillion over the 2002-2011 period. On-budget surpluses would range between just over 1 percent to more than 3 percent of GDP. Off-budget surpluses also would total about $1 trillion over the next five years and about $2.5 trillion through 2011. Off-budget surpluses alone would be sufficient to eliminate the debt available for redemption by the end of the 10-year period."

Union of Concerned* Scientists says "Welcome Your Freshman Class of Climate Deniers"

* But keep in mind that "concerned" is generally a euphemism for "commie."

The freshman class in their own words (from a UCS e-mail):

"With the possible exception of Tiger Woods, nothing has had a worse year than global warming. We have discovered that a good portion of the science used to justify 'climate change' was a hoax perpetrated by leftist ideologues with an agenda." —Todd Young, new congressperson from Indiana

"I absolutely do not believe that the science of man-caused climate change is proven. Not by any stretch of the imagination. I think it’s far more likely that it’s just sunspot activity or something just in the geologic eons of time where we have changes in the climate." —Ron Johnson, new senator from Wisconsin

"I think we ought to take a look at whatever the group is that measures all this, the IPCC, they don't even believe the crap." —Steve Pearce, new congressperson from New Mexico

"It's a bigger issue, we need to watch 'em. Not only because it may or may not be true, but they're making up their facts to fit their conclusions. They've already caught 'em doing this." —Rand Paul, new senator from Kentucky

"There isn't any real science to say we are altering the climate path of the earth." —Roy Blunt, new senator from Missouri

To which you could add:

Bobby Schilling, IL-17 - "He doesn’t believe in global warming, putting him at odds with almost every major climate change expert in the world but in good standing with his base." (But with a name like Schilling, what could possibly go wrong? Ed.)

Randy Hultgren, IL-14 - "So, I don’t believe we have a significant impact on climate change. Now that said, I do think we have great responsibility as humans for stewardship of our world, and so there are things that we can do to make sure that our environment is well preserved for and I think that is really where we need to get to. So much of this effort dealing with climate change is literally billions and trillions of dollars that’s being spent to affect maybe tenths of a degree or hundredths of a degree of temperature. So we might be able, by spending trillions of dollars to lower our temperature by one one-hundreths of a degree, but that’s so minor and one blip of the sun could completely change it back by so much more. So, just a variation of a sun-spot or whatever that could have that kind of impact. So, again, I’m concerned with the amount of money and the impact on our productivity that we’re having focused on climate change when really I think we have very little direct impact on that." (Again with the sunspots? Ed.)

Thursday, October 14, 2010


Illinois Candidate's Name Misspelled As 'Rich Whitey' On Electronic-Voting Machines

There are typos and then there are complete and utter catastrophes.

The Chicago Sun-Times reports that the name of Green Party gubernatorial candidate Rich Whitney is misspelled "Rich Whitey" on electronic-voting machines in 23 wards -- "about half in predominantly African-American areas." The error only occurs on screens voters would see when they are reviewing their choices (Whitney's name appears correctly on the initial screens), but officials say the error cannot be corrected before election day.

Jim Allen, spokesman for the Chicago Board of Elections, told the Sun-Times he expects 90% of votes on election day to be cast on paper ballots -- minimizing the number of voters who would see the misspelling.

"I don't want to be identified as 'Whitey.' If this is happening in primarily African-American wards, that's an even bigger concern," Whitney told the Sun-Times. The paper says he's considering legal action. "I don't know if this is machine politics at play or why this happened."

The latest Rasmussen poll shows Whitney drawing just 2% of the vote.


Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Has it really been a year?

Since this happened?


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Friday, September 24, 2010

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Really, is anyone named Cheney entitled to an opinion on anything?

"Americans expect our president to do everything possible to defend the nation from attack ... We expect him to use every tool at his disposal to find, defeat, capture and kill terrorists. We expect him to deter attacks by making clear to our adversaries that an attack on the United States will carry devastating consequences."

Well, except for that one time. We all agreed to let that one pass, right?

Friday, September 17, 2010

Empty seats in Chicago this week

Sox vs. first-place Twins
Tuesday: 11,000 empty seats
Wednesday: 10,000 empty seats
Thursday: 13,000 empty seats

Blackhawks practice
(not exhibition game, just practice)
Saturday: sold out

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Blago's World: So Much Better Than Reality

ROSEMONT, Ill. (CBS) ― It sounds like the start to a bad joke; Captain Kirk, Batman, the Bionic Woman and Rod Blagojevich. They were among the stars at this year's Wizard World Chicago Comic Con.

I will leave learned comparisons between Chicago Comic Con (Da Comic Con Dat Works) and dat udder Comic-Con to others, but any situation in which Ian Ziering is the grown-up, and gets off the best line, is pretty phokked up.

"Chicago is not the most corrupt American city, it's the most theatrically corrupt."
-- Studs Terkel

Friday, August 20, 2010

Tuesday, July 27, 2010


Cubs Make Carlos Zambrano Available

Aramis Ramirez, Alfonso Soriano, Kosuke Fukudome, etc. and their AWFUL contracts are also probably very available. Call Jimbo at Pizza Hut...


Saturday, July 17, 2010

Movie night

Exactly half of the Lattice "staff" at opening night of Inception together last night. Turns out this blog is just a dream.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Jim "Anchovies" Hendry vote of confidence goes from puzzlingly obvious to eerily foreboding

"The fact is, right now, Jim is our general manager ... I support him, and I think he does a great job. After that, we'll take it one day at a time."

Monday, July 5, 2010

Expect Delays


Exit the warrior
Today's Tom Sawyer
He gets high on you
And the energy you trade
He gets right on to the friction of the day...

Giant four-lane hole closes southbound Lake Shore Drive

July 5, 2010
Sun-Times Media Wire

A hole has spread across four lanes on Lake Shore Drive at Roosevelt Road, resulting in the closure of the southbound lanes of Lake Shore Drive around that area Monday night.

Police were notified about 6:15 p.m. Monday of a possible cave-in or some sort of structural damage on Lake Shore Drive, police News Affairs Officer Dan O’Brien said.

Southbound lanes on Lake Shore Drive at Roosevelt Road were closed to traffic so the repair work could be done, O’Brien said.

According to unconfirmed dispatch reports, southbound Lake Shore Drive traffic was "at a standstill" as of about 7 p.m.

The hole is four-lanes wide, police said.

The incident could cause some headaches for people who were on their way to a concert by Canadian rock band Rush, at the Charter One Pavilion at Northerly Island Monday night. The show was scheduled to start at 7:30 p.m., according to the Livenation website.

No one has been reported injured, O’Brien said.


Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Nothing better to do?

Congress honors Blackhawks -- despite 5 'no' votes

What's even more shocking than whatever this was, was that good ol' Ronnie Paul wasn't one of the no votes. Unless they do this for every pro team that wins, they need to stick to the job of, I don't know, fixing all that ails this country.

Guns Part 2

Read most of the case and a bunch of lovely articles on the handgun ban overturned in Chicago. I have such mixed feelings. I don't think the case does much but I recognize the immense public outcry against more gun violence in Chicago. I so want to love the 2nd Amendment but it is so difficult at times.

And the whole thing to me has such an undercurrent of racism. Even the opinion talks about law abiding citizens wanting to protect themselves in their own homes against inner city criminals. While I acknowledge that the name plaintiff has dark skin, I think for the vast majority of Americans that when they think of law abiding citizens they think of whites and when they think of inner city criminals they think of blacks. Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think so.

And of course the statistics used are gun ownership in rural areas is high and violence is low. Gun ownership in the city is low and gun violence is high. More guns would just solve that problem right? Criminals (well known for completely rational cost-benefit analyses) will be less likely to be criminals if they know that they can die. Well, they've kind of been on to that for a while I think and it doesn't seem to be much of a deterrent. (What me worry?). Maybe the total lack of acess to education and jobs in several minority inner cities has something to do with the crime rate. But as a backstop, the some misguided individuals - patriots, gun owners, fearful (perhaps living outside of cities due to fear of black males) may suggest that even if more guns, leads to more violence, we just have more criminals than we thought. Dead criminals don't commit crime after all, and the noise from the right is that to solve inner city gun problems we don't need more jobs or schools, just more jails. We're good at jails! After all, the criminal justice system is disproportionately targeting minorities, why not just remove that pesky (and expensive) process and let the minorities fight it out (while feigning looks of shock and awe).

And then I realized it. Perhaps I can out flank the right wingers. I find the denial of voting rights to felons an intentional act to disenfranchise thousands of black men from their constitutional right to vote. As a correllary, I don't see how in good conscience that felons who have paid their debt to society can be denied such a fundamental right as the right to bear arms. Now I know what you're thinking - they are a danger to society. Well first of all some of them aren't and won't be again. But even for those who are - chances are they were going to carry again anyway and for sure they probably are returning to the highest crime ridden areas of our cities. Any attempt to deny them their right to defend themselves or their right to vote is essentially a cruel and unusal punishment. Likewise given the disproportionate effects of our legal system, it should not pass strict scrutiny. The system seems designed to create an underclass of disenfranchised, disarmed black males. This is wrong. It was wrong under slavery, wrong under Jim Crow laws and is wrong now.

For me the worst case scenario of such a decision is black on black violence. Status Quo Ante I say. For others the worst case scenario would be a violent minority insurrection. Like I said, I have such mixed feelings.

Monday, June 28, 2010


Hooray. The City of Chicago and Oak Park can now form militias to prevent the Federal government from attacking us. Oh wait. No?

People in the City of Chicago and Oak Park can now own handguns to protect themselves from criminals [read: negros]. Oh well. An exciting ruling on its face, but considering we could already own long guns, not half as nearly interesting as everyone would have us believe. And frankly, if the people braking into your house have handguns themselves (and as a pointer to would-be-theives - carry a handgun - idiot) and can get the drop on you (In my house I have my 7 year old on the watch from midnight to 4 a.m. - I've got to work after all) then how does it matter.

I love the reaction on the interwebs though. The victory won't be complete until we can all concealed carry and until we can all carry fully automatic weapons to political rallies. Frankly, I'm hoping for access to weapons of mass destruction and a repeal of the laws outlawing cold-blooded murder. Only then will the victory be complete.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Having killed all of al-Qaida's number twos they can find, the drones are coming to write you a speeding ticket

Betcha Da Mare would love to get his hands on a couple-two-tree uh dese for da Departmenta Streets and San (and Skies?)...

FAA mulls domestic drone use

WASHINGTON (AP) — Unmanned aircraft have proved their usefulness and reliability in the war zones of Afghanistan and Iraq. Now the pressure is on to allow them to roam U.S. skies.

The Federal Aviation Administration has been asked to issue flying rights for a range of pilotless planes to carry out civilian and law-enforcement functions but has been hesitant to act. Officials are worried they might plow into airliners, cargo planes and corporate jets that zoom around at high altitudes or helicopters and hot air balloons that fly as low as a few hundred feet off the ground.

Scammers. Now on Facebook.

Ben sent you a message.
Ben Kabili
Ben KabiliJune 15, 2010 at 9:31pm
Subject: FROM BARISTER KABILI BEN (kabili law chambers lome,Togo Republic)

How are you today,
This is Mr. Kabili ben, a solicitor at law. I am making this proposal to you in respect to the death of one Mr E. Matwawa (last name edited, Ben did use mine - ed),a native of your country who was my client until death leaving some huge amount of money in a security finance firm valued US$6.5million.

Am proposing that you be presented as the next of kin and beneficiary of the fund.
I shall detail you on the confirmation of your genuinity to work this out with me. Kindly use your personal email address and contact me directly through this my private email address : for further discussions.

Telephone +228 077 5264

This is probably nothing to worry about (cont'd)

Last seen in LA...

God is mad at... Jesus?

'Touchdown Jesus' destroyed by lightning

The 6-story-tall landmark that surprised and fascinated travelers on I-75 burns to the ground....


another baseball analogy gone horribly wrong

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Friday, June 4, 2010

I don't mean to seem like I care about my mom's feelings.

I just want bubbles and a dopey band for my church.

In case there was any lingering doubt that she's as bat-s#i+-crazy as her husband

"Today is a good day because today begins a process to correct a terrible injustice that’s been done to my husband, our family and the people of Illinois."

-- Patti Blagojevich

Thursday, May 27, 2010


J.D. Hayworth is getting sick and tired of Senator John McCain (R-Ariz.) always reminding people of that time Radar magazine put him on that list of America's Dumbest Congresspersons...

Wednesday, May 19, 2010


Preckwinkle says 2012 earliest she'd cut back county sales tax

Vote for me and I'll cut your taxe....Now that I'm (a shoo in to be) in office I like the tax just fine, and will find any old excuse to keep it.

Is anyone surprised?

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Do you know who's to blame for this?


A source tells Mike Salk of 710 ESPN in Seattle that Milton Bradley left the team in the middle of Tuesday's game against the Rays.
Bradley was frustrated after striking out looking with the bases loaded in the bottom of the sixth inning. He yelled at the umpire from the bench until Mariners manager Don Wakamatsu warned him to settle down. Just minutes later Bradley reportedly told Wakamatsu, "I'm packing my stuff. I'm out of here." Mariners General Manager Jack Zduriencik didn't address the matter specifically on Wednesday, other than to say something that happens between the manager and his players should be handled internally. We're guessing that Wakamatsu might not have to worry about Bradley much longer.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Monday, May 3, 2010

Expect Delays


Red, Orange line delays expected this week :: CHICAGO SUN-TIMES :: Transportation

It can't happen here

German man 'marries' his dying cat

A German man has unofficially married his cat after the animal fell ill and vets told him it might not live much longer, Bild newspaper reports.

It says Uwe Mitzscherlich, 39, paid an actress 300 euros (£260,$395) to officiate at the ceremony, as marrying an animal is illegal in Germany.

Mr Mitzscherlich said he had wanted to tie the knot before his asthmatic cat Cecilia died.

The cat and groom have lived together for 10 years.

"Cecilia is such a trusting creature. We cuddle all the time and she has always slept in my bed," Mr Mitzscherlich, a postman from the eastern town of Possendorf, told Bild.

Actress Christin-Maria Lohri, who officiated the ceremony, was quoted as saying: "At first I thought it was a joke. But for Mr Mitzscherlich it's a dream come true".

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Almost a whole month without a post?

I blame Sarge. He's the one ranting on the twitterz with his like 8 different screen names while the LoC wastes away. Yep, all Sarge's fault.

Fung, about to get unhinged..

Apparently this counts as sports "journalism"...

Thursday, March 18, 2010

let me think about that a sec...


More proof that majority rule in the hands of a really stupid populace is a toxic mix

Which day would you rather see become a national sports holiday?

Monday after Super Bowl 57%
Friday of NCAA tournament first round 43%
Total votes 193,353
Results not scientific, but profoundly idiotic

Today's Factoid
Fun facts about the profoundly idiotic culture we live in...
Games broadcast on Friday of NCAA tournament first round: 16
Games broadcast on Monday after Super Bowl: 0

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Cubs / fiery crash nexuses in the news (cont'd)

News item: The Chicago Cubs are in discussions with Toyota on a multi-year deal to have the car maker’s emblem adorn a lighted sign in the left-field bleachers at Wrigley Field.

When editing goes hilariously wrong

This made me laugh when I saw (well, heard) this on TV - I'm glad someone cut it out...

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Doggie, or Kitteh?

Clearly they say doggie, but you decide...

Also note the use of what I assume to be Chinglish in the description, though it is much better on dis one - starts right in the title...

Monday, March 15, 2010

Thursday, March 4, 2010

It's Da City Dat Ruins Petulant Athletes

Milton Bradley blamed the city of Chicago for his poor 2009 season.
"Two years ago, I played, and I was good," said Bradley. "I go to Chicago, not good. I’ve been good my whole career. So, obviously, it was something with Chicago, not me." The distractions -- many self-inflicted -- surely didn't help, but he should at least take some responsibility for his poor production. Bradley said that there was "no communication" in Chicago, and that was expected to hit 30 home runs. That won't happen in Seattle, so at least he has that going for him.
New York Times

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Is this a joke?

The White Sox plan to use Mark Kotsay as their designated hitter against right-handers, and Andruw Jones against lefties.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Haiti and health-care reform

For the past year or two, the American left and its cheerleaders on the MSNBC primetime block have beaten a steady drum for “health-care reform.” And yet, in the past month, a different news story has dominated headlines and chatter: the disaster in Haiti.

In hindsight, the scope of the Haitian disaster could have been reduced. Attention could have been called to the threat of earthquakes in the area and that so very many cement buildings would collapse and crush their occupants. Plans could have been formulated, debated, and put in motion. Potentially thousands of lives could have been saved had this course been taken.

Haitians’ vulnerability to earthquakes was, it goes without saying, not once discussed by Rachel Maddow in the months leading up to the deaths of 200,000 people. Keith Olbermann did not comment, specially or otherwise, on the failure of Congress or whoever else to act in the matter. Yet all along, as it turned out, a massive time-bomb was ticking away a few hundred miles from Miami. Americans were talking about the wrong issues and trying to solve the wrong problems, and we have paid a terrible price for those errors.

Some may argue that these were not in fact errors. We are Americans, it could be said, not Haitians, so it was not our problem. It could be claimed that we could never have seen this coming, or that even had we seen it coming, there was nothing to be done. But none of these arguments can be accepted without some sort of major concession on the part of liberal thinkers. For a liberal to say “I am not Haitian, thus I have no concern for this matter,” would be to admit of a grossly unbecoming nationalism. For a liberal to say, “We could not have seen this coming,” would be to hold that the American scientific apparatus suffers debilitating incapacities, unable to figure out where a quarter million lives might be at risk. For a liberal to say, “There was nothing we could have done,” would be to argue that government action can do little to improve matters abroad.

None of these concessions could be forthcoming: Liberals obviously are concerned for the well-being of Haitians, American scientists could have estimated (and some probably did estimate) the risk of an earthquake and the extent of devastation that would result, and liberals will not soon favor the writings of Bill Easterly to those of Jeffrey Sachs. And yet, liberal thought leaders spent 2009 obsessing not over the paralyzing poverty and terrifying earthquake risk faced by Haitians but instead over the details of a health-care bill that, in the best-case scenario, will mean slightly more medical treatment for some members of one of the most medicalized societies the world has ever seen.

Is the conclusion, then, that we have been talking about the wrong things? When we gathered around watercoolers last year to talk American health-care reform, should we have been pondering Haitian vulnerability to earthquakes? I think that a compassionate, cosmopolitan liberal would have to say yes, in hindsight, that is exactly what we should have been doing. But consider that, as I write today, the main thrust of liberal chatter is already refocused on health-care reform and the partisan composition of the United States Senate.

The MSNBC primetime writers have not performed a systematic post-disaster scan of the scientific landscape in a desperate humanitarian effort to find the next great vulnerability; instead, they have unapologetically reverted to their pre-disaster ways. Viewers are still, apparently, supposed to believe that American health-care reform is the greatest crusade of our time, with a Democratic supermajority being the vital means to that end. Somehow, Maddow’s sense of moral superiority survived the quake.

The Haitian disaster makes clear that the manifest agenda of the political left in the United States is not driven by thorough science or by altruistic compassion. The thought leaders and Democratic politicians are doing exactly what one would expect if their goals were to increase the material means and the social status of their consumer-constituents: the politicians propose policies that materially benefit those constituents, and the thought leaders shroud those policies in the holy cloth of morality. If and when these get their way, blue-collar Americans may enjoy a few extra medical procedures and left-leaning news consumers will get their righteousness fix, vulnerable populations around the globe be damned.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

He also has a cure for cancer...

Scott Boras, the agent for outfielder Johnny Damon, said Thursday that he thinks there's still a "quality market" for his client. "I still feel there is a quality market for Johnny Damon," Boras said, "and I'm negotiating with a number of teams. There are three teams out there that if they don't have Johnny Damon, they're not winning the division. He's the difference in these teams making the playoffs or not contending."

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Meanwhile, LoC enjoys the peace dividend

Salon's Glenn Greenwald:
Barack Obama, like George Bush before him, has claimed the authority to order American citizens murdered based solely on the unverified, uncharged, unchecked claim that they are associated with Terrorism and pose "a continuing and imminent threat to U.S. persons and interests." They're entitled to no charges, no trial, no ability to contest the accusations. Amazingly, the Bush administration's policy of merely imprisoning foreign nationals (along with a couple of American citizens) without charges -- based solely on the President's claim that they were Terrorists -- produced intense controversy for years. That, one will recall, was a grave assault on the Constitution.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

whitey still can't jump - but maybe that's the point, or, whitey/two-handed set shot nexus in the news

"There's nothing hatred about what we're doing," he said. "I don't hate anyone of color. But people of white, American-born citizens are in the minority now. Here's a league for white players to play fundamental basketball, which they like."