[insert own joke here]

Bobby Jenks (back) is undergoing a colonoscopy Monday.

You know, just in case you were curious. Jenks was just beginning to make progress in his rehab from a back injury, so this will obviously set him back a few days. The veteran right-hander has been limited to just 19 appearances with Boston this season. (And in those 19 appearances he HAS SUCKED.--ed.)

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It's Da City Dat Ruins Petulant Athletes

Milton Bradley blamed the city of Chicago for his poor 2009 season.
"Two years ago, I played, and I was good," said Bradley. "I go to Chicago, not good. I’ve been good my whole career. So, obviously, it was something with Chicago, not me." The distractions -- many self-inflicted -- surely didn't help, but he should at least take some responsibility for his poor production. Bradley said that there was "no communication" in Chicago, and that was expected to hit 30 home runs. That won't happen in Seattle, so at least he has that going for him.
Source: New York Times

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Brain-Dead Americans (cont)

So I got this joke in my inbox of my emails on the Internets...

What do baby seals and Tiger Woods have in common?

They are both in danger of being beaten to death by a Norwegian with a club !

'Course, she's a SWEDE, but you know, don't let FACTS get in the way of a lame joke. Besides, who even knows the difference between Norway and Sweden? Aren't they, like, in Finland or something? No, that's Denmark...

The more things change, the more they are Dusty

Manager Dusty Baker confirmed Thursday that Willy Taveras will be the Reds' leadoff hitter.
Naturally, Baker focuses on Taveras' speed rather than his .331 career on-base percentage. "His role is he's our center fielder and our leadoff man," Baker said. "The fact that he's so young, he's going to get better. A lot of people talk about his on-base percentage. I like to think in terms of him getting into scoring position." If you're curious, the "so young" Taveras turned 27 last month.
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[insert own joke here] (cont'd)

With the 2008 election season over, Rep. Jerry Moran wasted little time taking the next step in his likely bid for higher office.

The western Kansas Republican filed paperwork Friday that allows him to accept contributions for a U.S. Senate campaign.

Moran, of Hays, has been telling constituents for months that he plans to seek the seat being vacated in 2010 by Republican Sam Brownback.
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Meet the new Mayor of Silverton, Oregon

Meet Stu...or is it Loretta?

America's First Transgender Mayor: Stu Rasmussen

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Dis explains a lot (the never ending story)

Study: Drinking shrinks the brain

While a certain amount of brain shrinkage is normal with age, greater amounts in some parts of the brain have been linked to dementia.

I think this explains Smiff in a nutshell. K-Mad too. And why I'm the only sane person on dis blog.

Smiff in Da City Dat Works (update)

Ok, you've had time to make plans and to get out of town. If you're still going to be around Thurs-Tues, you only have yourself to blame. And Fung must have had too many Sprites to have me crash at his place (his fault for having an extra room). First things first, who can pick up Smiff at Midway on Thursday night and deliver him to the Fungster? My flight gets in at 10:15pm on Southwest. Hey, take Friday off and we can head straight to the bars.

Stuff to do (mostly eating and drinking):
Hop Leaf - probably Sat. night - K-Mad, Mary is in town, right?
Tre Kroner - weekend breakfast
The Edgewater
The Candlelite
a movie - Fung mentioned W, but i dunno if i can spend $10 and 2+ hours on that moron
or something at The Music Box?
Purdue vs. the Cats? could happen. i assume there will be plenty of seats available.
watching the Bears lose on Sunday, though will Smiff still have Orton in his lineup?
a meeting of the LoC Executive Board...at a bar
[insert own joke here]

Decker gonna be around by any chance? Also, someone tell Skilly not to make it too cold. I no longer have a winter coat, and don't want to buy one eider. It looks like "seasonable" temps through Sunday, but then again this is a Skilly forecast so anything can happen...
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[insert own joke here]

Also in the News: Hackers target Palin's e-mail account

Hackers gained access to the Yahoo e-mail account Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin uses to conduct some official state business, The Associated Press reports.

It was unclear how the hackers broke into the Republican vice presidential candidate's "gov.palin" account. (Maybe they guessed the password: "mooseandsquirrel"? - Ed.) But the AP reported that the incident raised further questions about Palin's practice of conducting official business using a private e-mail account. (Now that she's a higher-up, she can skirt the law in style on her shiny new Republican National Committee e-mail account like Turdblossom and the other big boys... Ed.)

[insert own joke here]

Bush says he's working hard on economic turmoil (AP)

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