Saturday, June 28, 2008

I say we keep it that way

Like I really give a s#i+ about what our "readers" would think anyway.

2 da track

Corporal and I will have a view like this in a few hours. Only it will be dark, the stands will be full, and there will be 26 open-wheel cars doing 15-second lap times. Report to follow...

Here you go Fungster

There it is. Where my dollars will be going...

Maybe I can invest in Chinese companies doing business in Zimbabwe?

Elderly man beaten to death at nursing home,nursinghome062808.article

Luckily, with the new Supreme Court ruling in effect, future nursing home residents will be able to arm themselves and even the odds.

Friday, June 27, 2008

life imitates Dr. Strangelove (cont'd)

Found this while reading the story with Sarge's photo...

Profs Urge Louisiana Gov: Veto Fluoridation Bill

Many professionals world-wide are calling on Louisiana Governor Jindal to veto a bill which would force fluoridation on almost the whole state. SB 312 was quietly pushed through the legislature by PR firms without most Louisianans knowing it was happening. The professionals are asking Jindal to use his veto in the interest of fairness. Citizens should have been part of this discussion but they were not.

Fluoride is added to water ostensibly to reduce tooth decay but according to many professionals contacting Jindal, recent evidence indicates that fluoride poses many health dangers (NRC, 2006).

General Jack D. Ripper: Mandrake, do you realize that in addition to fluoridating water, why, there are studies underway to fluoridate salt, flour, fruit juices, soup, sugar, milk... ice cream. Ice cream, Mandrake, children's ice cream.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Lord, Jack.
General Jack D. Ripper: You know when fluoridation first began?
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: I... no, no. I don't, Jack.
General Jack D. Ripper: Nineteen hundred and forty-six. Nineteen forty-six, Mandrake. How does that coincide with your post-war Commie conspiracy, huh? It's incredibly obvious, isn't it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual. Certainly without any choice. That's the way your hard-core Commie works.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Uh, Jack, Jack, listen, tell me, tell me, Jack. When did you first... become... well, develop this theory?
General Jack D. Ripper: Well, I, uh... I... I... first became aware of it, Mandrake, during the physical act of love.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Hmm.
General Jack D. Ripper: Yes, a uh, a profound sense of fatigue... a feeling of emptiness followed. Luckily I... I was able to interpret these feelings correctly. Loss of essence.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Hmm.
General Jack D. Ripper: I can assure you it has not recurred, Mandrake. Women uh... women sense my power and they seek the life essence. I, uh... I do not avoid women, Mandrake.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: No.
General Jack D. Ripper: But I... I do deny them my essence.

Resident Evil 4 Is Reality

In case you don't know, in Resident Evil 4, a cult is using a parasite to turn people into easily-influenced zombies.

The article points towards research that toxoplasmosis could be influencing our decision-making and moods. Facinating. Does it matter? Well, around a third of the world's population is infested, and probably always has been, so it's difficult to say.

Let's Move to Mars

First, they found water on Mars, now they're saying that the soil could support growth of, well in this article, asparagus. (Germans love asparagus, but they bury the plants so they're white, not green. Sorry for the digression.)

I remember reading that the difficulties in building a manned Mars explorer could be overcome by making the trip one-way. Apparently, the spaceship would have to be so big to carry more fuel for the return trip. Now one-way doesn't mean suicide...

Anyone care to join me? With a big enough antenna, I'm sure we could continue posting to the LoC from Mars after tending to the asparagus fields.

I added this link so Fungai won't complain.

Damned Grandkids

Spoiling it for the rest of us...

North Carolina is offering 10,000 vehicle owners whose licence plates contain the "potentially offensive" combo of letters "WTF" the chance to replace them for free.

According to, the state's Division of Motor Vehicles (DMV) was tipped off to the outrage by a 60-year-old technology teacher from Fayetteville who in turn had been alerted to the TLA by her teenage grandchildren.

The DMV has now notified those affected, and "anyone who has an issue with their plate can contact their local DMV office to request a new one". ®

Sypgate Update

Am I the only one who is annoyed by how all scandals now have the suffix -gate?

Is this Nixon's only legacy?

DC Gun Control Overturned

I'm sure this will make DC a safer place.

You know, this town doesn't even have a fricken bait and tackle store! Who wants to buy these guns anyway? Lunacy.

Thursday, June 26, 2008


Jun 26 The Associated Press reports Chicago Cubs SP Carlos Zambrano (shoulder) said he wants to pitch in the All-Star game to help his team gain homefield advantage in the World Series. Zambrano will likely be activated from the disabled list July 4.

My photo is powering a story...

So I got this email today:

:: Your NYC photo

Hi adecker31,

Here's a personal note from m.s.:

My name's M-- and I'm an intern at Just
to let you know, NowPublic is running a news story on New
York getting veggie stands in order to make city more
healthy and your photo would be an excellent addition.
If you're interested in sharing it, please follow the links
below and feel free to add your own comment as well. Looking
forward to seeing your work on the site!

In case you haven't heard of us, is a
participatory news website. Please let me know if you have
any questions. The requested photos will appear as
thumbnails when you follow the link....

Take care,

So you know - that was kind of nifty - and the picture is here...

They found it from my flickr - where I'm adecker31...

there is more s#i+ blowing up directly behind this s#i+ blowing up

If the fragile 1991 settlement that enabled the former Soviet Union to break relatively peacefully into 15 countries starts to unravel, the flash point may well be right here. But the antagonists would not be ragtag irregulars of the 1993 war but real armies, probably backed on one side by a resurgent Russia, on the other by NATO. (Yay! - Ed.)

And when you're tired of it, you can club it

Robotic Baby Seal Coming to U.S. Shores

With this kind of technology available, who needs electric cars?

Alternative Fuels, Shmalternative Fools

Gas crunch: Jatropha, kudzu, algae and magic to rescue
American ingenuity and exceptionalism transforms weeds into, er, pork

So what about Jatropha, a pest tree that produces seed pods, as an oil source for biodiesel? Literally hundreds of stories have been written about it, all generally the equivalent of counting chickens before hatching. All of these stories must contain a line like "The plants require an occasional watering and virtually no fertilizing." This is to plant the idea that one is getting a lot of something for virtually nothing.

But problems of scale aren't mentioned, nor the complication of separating oil from seeds and converting it to usable diesel at some reasonable return on energy input. It does no good to mention that all of, let's say Florida, Texas or a couple other states, would need to be turned over to it. Theoretically, of course. Any reasonable discussion of processing cost is also off the table.

Both the jatropha and kudzu hypes are partially, hmmm, fueled by Brazil's reliance on sugar cane-to-ethanol for automobiles running on blends of fuel. Sugar cane won't grow in most of the US, ergo the casting about for a cheap equivalent from the plant world, one that needs little water. This almost seems reasonable until one compares the scale of Brazil's vehicular use to that of the United States. In terms of miles-per-vehicle-per-capita, in a country to country comparison, Brazil isn't even on the chart of the US Department of Transportation. If it suddenly acquired the auto-load and driving habits of, for example, southern Californians, Brazil's energy strategy would collapse under the weight.

So, are we willing to take the land of 2-3 states to grow the weeds to fuel our affluent lifestyles? I don't know, if we had to devote more land to farming we may have to squeeze into cities like dem Yurupeans do. That's so not America - we're all about spreading out, and independence, and baseball and apple-pies and barbecues and such. Cars are part of that - they give us freedom that trains and planes just can't compete with. And you can pry my air conditioner(s) from my cold, dead hands.

And, of course, this ignores that we're still burning fossil fuels, all we've really done is made our energy source renewable. The article linked to some charts, and what I found the most amazing was that 76% of workers drove to work alone. Mebbe we should try and fix that instead of all these alternative fuels & car batteries & all that stuff. Just that one thing.

The kid stays in the picture

Every time I start to get annoyed with Obama, when I start to think that he's just another social democrat or just another politician, he does something to reassure me that he's not...

There may be some Democrats talking about reimposing the Fairness Doctrine, but one very important one does not: presumptive presidential nominee Barack Obama.

The Illinois senator’s top aide said the issue continues to be used as a distraction from more pressing media business.

"Sen. Obama does not support reimposing the Fairness Doctrine on broadcasters," press secretary Michael Ortiz said in an e-mail to B&C late Wednesday...

The Fairness Doctrine issue flared up in recent days after reports that House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) was talking about a Democratic push to reinstate it, although it was unclear at press time whether that was a new pledge or the restating of a long-held position.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

When someone as stupid as Ed Wade is involved, it's hard to say who's to blame...

Shawn Chacon, who was suspended indefinitely by the Astros, said he threw Ed Wade to the floor Wednesday after being asked to attend a meeting with the general manager and manager Cecil Cooper. Chacon said he was told sternly by Wade that he was going to have the meeting, something he didn't want to do. "He started yelling and cussing," Chacon said of Wade. "I’m sitting there and I said to him very calmly, ‘Ed, you need to stop yelling (at) me. Then I stood up and said 'you better stop yelling at me.' I stood up. He continued and was basically yelling and stuff and was like, ‘You need to (expletive) look in the mirror.’ So at that point I lost my cool and I grabbed him by the neck and threw him to the ground. I jumped on top of him because at that point I wanted to beat his (butt). Words were exchanged." Chacon was pulled away from Wade by a teammate before he could do any damage, which may end up saving his career. It's still hard to imagine another team being eager to give him a chance this year.

Democrats: Democratic-controlled Congress SUCKS

It is as Glenn Greenwald sayeth: "The Democratic Congress is more popular with Republicans than with Democrats."

sounds like time for a tax cut

In districts across the United States, budget shortfalls are resulting in locked-up schools, flurries of pink slips, and empty shelves where new books and computers should be.

So it wasn't just me?

I'm so relieved...

Facebook takes a break

By John OatesMore by this author
Published Wednesday 25th June 2008 14:28 GMT

Social networking site Facebook is mainly unavailable this afternoon (that would be dis morning for dose of us in da good ol' USA - ed).
Several Register readers mailed to tell us of the problem for UK surfers.

A spokeswoman for Facebook UK told The Reg it was aware of the problems and was investigating.

The site is showing a blank page.

Maybe too many people are trying to organise their trips to Glastonbury this weekend. Or maybe the admins have taken a page from Faceparty's book and gone to the zoo. ®

When are we gonna convince Smiff to join the fun? And is Ranger holding out too? Me thinks the rest of us have been suckered in...

Die! Die! Die!

The Supreme Court ruled 5-4 that child rapists are not subject to the death penalty. Of course a certain conservative jurists said that some states really want to kill child rapists and that perhaps we are shifting course on this issue. Kennedy wrote the decision finding that it constituted cruel and unusual punishment.

As always - my issue is - is the death penalty actually punishment? I never thought so, still don't. I mean it can be an effective deterrent, though I think usually criminals can't do a thorough cost-benefit analysis or think they won't get caught. But what part of it is punishment? I mean, you are dead. I suppose not being alive is like a punishment, but you don't really get to experience it. Now being alive and a child rapist and in jail. That is a punishment that I could only wish on a child rapist.


On the Sun-Times web masthead today:

Traffic • Weather: CRACKLY

world's tallest billboard?

"Both Tribune Tower and Times Mirror Square are iconic structures, deeply intertwined with the history of this company," Chairman and CEO Sam Zell wrote in an e-mail to employees, according to the release. "But they are also under-utilized, and as employee-owners, it's in our best interests to maximize the value of all our assets."

Whitey taking moral high ground (cont)

England cut Zimbabwe cricket ties

As if Zimbabwe's really worried about cricket right now...

Mugabe stripped of knighthood

Found this nugget too. I have a feeling I'm going to have to keep coming back and editing this post...

for your summer reading list

A former detective stuck on a train hears a terrifying sound. So does a teenager watching TV. And decades ago, Joanna Mason's family encountered something shocking on a country lane. It all ties together in the latest thriller from Atkinson.

if we close our eyes and put our hands over our ears and hum a chipper tune, the bad news will go away

As QT would say, we may be governed someday by grownups again.

WHITE HOUSE REFUSED TO READ E-MAIL WITH EPA'S GREENHOUSE GAS CONCLUSIONS: The New York Times reports today that in December, the White House "refused to accept the Environmental Protection Agency's (EPA) conclusion that greenhouse gases are pollutants that must be controlled, telling agency officials that an e-mail message containing the document would not be opened." The document thus sat unreleased for six months. In the past five days, "the White House successfully put pressure on the EPA to eliminate large sections of the original analysis that supported regulation," resulting in "a watered-down version of the original proposal that offers no conclusion" that will be released this week. The original EPA analysis "showed that the Clean Air Act can work for certain sectors of the economy, to reduce greenhouse gases." But according to a senior EPA official, "that's not what the administration wants to show. They want to show that the Clean Air Act can't work." The document is part of the EPA's effort to comply with a 2007 Supreme Court ruling requiring it to "determine whether greenhouse gases represent a danger to health or the environment."

stunning news

News headline: Economy on brink of recession, Greenspan says

tough times for plutocrats (cont'd)

Global wealth hits $40.7 trillion but growth slows

LONDON (Reuters) - Assets held by the world's richest people grew at a slower pace in 2007 than 2006 as the credit crisis began to bite, a study showed on Tuesday, despite rapid growth in emerging markets.

However, growth over the coming five years is forecast to be higher than last year's predictions, as U.S. economic growth eventually picks up and emerging markets continue to beat analysts' forecasts. (YAY! - Ed.)

The Merrill Lynch and Capgemini Annual World Wealth Report showed global assets held by wealthy investors rose by 9.4 percent to $40.7 trillion (20.6 trillion pounds) in 2007, below 2006's 11.4 percent growth, with the second half of the year seeing a slowdown in Western economies.

Finally, some good news

Slowdown in road travel eclipses 1979 drop: Govt
Thu Jun 19, 2008 7:00pm BST
By Tom Doggett

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Americans cut down on the number of miles they drove for the sixth straight month in April, resulting in the biggest six-month decline since the oil shock of the 1979-80 Iranian revolution, new government data shows.

As record gasoline prices push more and more commuters onto public transport and vacationers to trim trips, U.S. highway travel fell 30 billion miles between November and April, down 1.7 percent from the comparable period a year earlier, according to the U.S. Department of Transportation.

That was the steepest decline since Americans cut back their driving by about 500 million miles over two years in 1979 and 1980, when there were gasoline shortages and price spikes after the Shah of Iran was overthrown, said department spokesman Doug Hecox.

In fact, the current 30-billion-mile drop in highway travel is likely more than all the previous declines combined during the 66 years that the department has been collecting such information, Hecox said.

"It's a pretty severe decline that we've seen," he said.

During April alone, Americans drove 1.4 billion fewer highway miles, down 1.8 percent from a year earlier and 400 million miles less than in March.

The high cost of gasoline has cut highway travel almost 20 billion miles, or 2.1 percent, during the first four months of this year, the department said.

Rural areas, where families drive more and spend a larger share of their income on gasoline, have seen the biggest decline in highway travel.

Travel on rural interstates for the January-April period is down 2.9 percent and off 3.1 percent on other rural highways.

A new report on Thursday from an energy advisory group reflected the drop in total highway travel, saying U.S. gasoline demand may have peaked last year and will likely decline in 2008 for the first time in 17 years.

Cambridge Energy Research Associates said long-term shifts in consumer behavior, such as buying more fuel-efficient vehicles, is helping to push gasoline demand lower.

"Americans are now driving less and demanding greater fuel efficiency from their vehicles when they do drive," said Aaron Brady, CERA's global oil director.

Sales of mid-size sport utility vehicles fell 38 percent last month compared to a year earlier. Sales of better-mileage passenger cars, which were less than half of all vehicle purchases last year, jumped to 57 percent in May.

The downside for the government is less money to pay for highway projects and public transportation, which is funded by an 18.4-cents-per-gallon gasoline tax and a 24.4 cents-per-gallon diesel fuel tax.

"As positive as any move toward greater fuel efficiency is, we need to make sure we have the kind of sustainable funding measures in place to support needed highway and transit improvements well into the future," said Acting Federal Highway Administrator Jim Ray.

CERA said gasoline prices still do not cause as much economic hardship as they did during the 1980s, but they are getting close to the "pain point" of just over $4.20 a gallon for an average annual price.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008


Though Briggs might disagree - I'm all for this:

Illinois Sues Countrywide By GRETCHEN MORGENSON Published: June 25, 2008

The Illinois attorney general is suing Countrywide Financial, the troubled mortgage lender, and Angelo R. Mozilo, its chief executive, contending that the company and its executives defrauded borrowers in the state by selling them costly and defective loans that quickly went into foreclosure.

The lawsuit, which is expected to be filed on Wednesday in Illinois state court, accused Countrywide and Mr. Mozilo of relaxing underwriting standards, structuring loans with risky features, and misleading consumers with hidden fees and fake marketing claims, like its heavily advertised “no closing costs loan.” Countrywide also created incentives for its employees and brokers to sell questionable loans by paying them more on such sales, the complaint said.

In reviewing one Illinois mortgage broker’s sales of Countrywide loans, the complaint said the “vast majority of the loans had inflated income, almost all without the borrower’s knowledge.”

The civil lawsuit asks for an unspecified amount of monetary damages and requests that the court require Countrywide to rescind or reform all the questionable loans it sold from 2004 through the present. The attorney general, Lisa Madigan, also asked that Mr. Mozilo contribute personally to the damages and that the court give her office 90 days to review loans serviced by Countrywide that were in foreclosure or soon would be.

“People were put into loans they did not understand, could not afford and could not get out of,” Ms. Madigan said. “This mounting disaster has had an impact on individual homeowners statewide and is having an impact on the global economy. It is all from the greed of people like Angelo Mozilo.”

The lawsuit adds to the considerable legal risks facing Bank of America as it prepares to absorb Countrywide in a takeover announced in January. Countrywide and its executives have been named as defendants in shareholder lawsuits, and the company’s practices are the subject of investigations by the Securities and Exchange Commission, the F.B.I. and the Federal Trade Commission, which oversees loan servicing companies.

The United States Trustee, a unit of the Justice Department that monitors the bankruptcy system, has also sued Countrywide, contending that its loan servicing practices represent an abuse of the bankruptcy system.

Countrywide did not respond to an e-mail message seeking comment. A Bank of America spokesman declined to comment.

Countrywide, once the nation’s top mortgage lender, has watched its fortunes plummet as the housing crisis has spread across the country. In the last three quarters, the company reported $2.5 billion in losses, and in the first quarter of 2008, total nonperforming assets reached $6 billion, almost five times that of the same period last year.

When Bank of America announced its stock-for-stock deal to buy Countrywide, the acquisition was valued at more than $4 billion. Because shares of both companies have fallen, the transaction is worth $2.8 billion.

The Illinois complaint was derived from 111,000 pages of Countrywide documents and interviews with former employees. It paints a picture of a lending machine that was more concerned with volume of loans than quality.

For example, former employees told Illinois investigators that Countrywide’s pay structure encouraged them to make as many loans as they could; some reduced-documentation loans took as little as 30 minutes to underwrite, the complaint said.

The lawsuit cited Countrywide documents indicating that almost 60 percent of its borrowers in subprime adjustable rate mortgages requiring minimal payments in the early years, known as hybrid A.R.M.’s, would not have qualified at the full payment rate. Countrywide also acknowledged that almost 25 percent of the borrowers would not have qualified for any other mortgage product that it sold.

Even more surprising, Ms. Madigan said, was her office’s discovery of e-mail messages automatically sent by Countrywide to its borrowers offering complimentary loan reviews one year after they obtained their mortgages from the company.

“Happy Anniversary!” the e-mail messages stated. “Many home values skyrocketed over the past year. That means that you may have thousands of dollars of home equity to borrow from at rates much lower than most credit cards.”

Ms. Madigan said, “I was just struck that on the first anniversary of these people’s loans they would get these e-mails luring them into a refinance, into another unaffordable product to generate more fees and originate more loans.”

The complaint also described dubious practices in Countrywide’s huge servicing arm, which oversees $1.5 trillion in loans. For example, an Illinois consumer whose Countrywide mortgage was in foreclosure came home to find that the company had changed her locks and boarded up her home, the suit said, although no judgment had been entered and no foreclosure sale conducted. It took a week for the homeowner to regain access to her home, the complaint said.

Ms. Madigan began investigating Countrywide after her office sued One Source Mortgage, a Chicago mortgage broker that shut down last year. Countrywide was One Source’s primary lender, according to that lawsuit. Ms. Madigan also said that her office had received 200 customer complaints about Countrywide.

For 2004 through 2006, Countrywide was the largest lender in Illinois, selling about 94,000 loans to consumers in the state, the complaint said. The company operated about 100 retail branch offices in Illinois and its loans were offered by many mortgage brokers licensed to do business there. Countrywide also purchased loans through a network of 2,100 correspondent lenders in the state.

The New York Mets Suck (cont'd)

The Phillies aren't exactly tearing it up right now, but at least they lose to good teams. The Mets tonight were pummeled 11-0 at home by the worst team in baseball. The opposing pitcher: R.A. Dickey--yes, that R.A. Dickey. Even better, 49,386 idiotic, drooling troglodyte homunculi witnessed the ass-walloping.

R.A. Dickey blanked the Mets for seven innings on Tuesday night as the Mariners cruised to an 11-0 victory. In his three previous starts this season, Dickey had gone 0-3 with a 14.11 ERA. Tonight he finally got his knuckleball working and allowed just six hits and a pair of walks while striking out five over seven frames. He might get another shot because of tonight's start, but he's still a risky pick-up.

KO on Billo

"last night he insulted a man whose boots he was not worthy to lick..."

Invasion of the Dusty Snatchers?

The Reds have Adam Dunn hitting second against A.J. Burnett on Tuesday night. Which can only mean an extra-terrestrial has gained control of Dusty Baker's body. Dunn has been in a pretty horrible slump, but this might be just the thing to shake him out. Kudos to Baker for trying it. With Dunn hitting second, the Reds have Jeff Keppinger batting sixth and Jay Bruce hitting seventh tonight.

But what does Decker think? We still haven't heard...

'The Love Guru': How bad is it?

Perhaps the most overrated aspect of reviewing movies is getting to trash the turkeys.

Sure, getting all vitriolic and sarcastic is fun at first, but you quickly grow tired of trying to find new ways to say the same thing: This is really bad.
That said, it still can be a kick to see the ways critics come up with to describe movie that’s getting almost universally ripped (a mere 14 percent positive rating on
Rotten Tomatoes).
Ladies and gentlemen, “The Love Guru” reviews’ greatest hits:

“ ‘The Love Guru’ is downright antifunny, an experience that makes you wonder if you will ever laugh again.”—A.O. Scott, New York Times
“This film could have been written on toilet walls by callow adolescents.”—Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times
“The movie with the most penis jokes in the history of Hollywood.”—Steven Rea, Philadelphia Inquirer
“Pitka, at heart, is one mean-spirited guru, very harsh with the dwarf jokes, and rather wearying screen company.”—Michael Phillips, Chicago Tribune
“The most joy-draining 88 minutes I’ve ever spent outside a hospital waiting room.”—Dana Stevens, Slate
" ‘The Love Guru’ is offensive to pretty much anyone with a brain.”—Stephanie Zacharek, Salon
“Ninety minutes pass like an eternity.”—Peter Travers, Rolling Stone
“The most-egregious case of ego run amok since John Travolta subjected the world to ‘Battlefield Earth.’”— Bill Goodykoontz, The Arizona Republic
"It's a rare film that makes a reviewer consider giving up the movies altogether. My own Waterloo came forty-five minutes into 'The Love Guru' when I briefly considered stabbing out my own eyes so that I wouldn't have to watch it any more.” — Joshua Starnes,


About which PARCers manager is ESPN's Chad Ford (not) talking?

By the way, is ___ _______ the most fun GM in the league? The guy is working on roughly 150 trade proposals as we speak. He has no qualms about calling up a team and saying, "How about Travis Outlaw and Sergio Rodriguez for Dwyane Wade." He won't blink an eye.

They couldn't help him spell cat if he was spotted the c and the t

Hall of Fame QB and good ol' boy studio host used steroids in the '70's.

If he were a baseball player there would be a congressional investigation along with calls to take his bust out of Cooperstown. But he was a football player so it won't get much play.


Supporters of radical clerics have begun a new holy war in Iran.

The Fatwa declares that "Iraq is a nation under Allah founded on Islam" and that the party is pledged "toward dispelling the myth that Islam is separate from the state.."

They oppose any governmental action to restrict, prohibit, or remove public display of the Koran or other religious symbols.

They support a constitutional act "which would among other provisions bar the Iraqi courts from hearing and ruling in cases regarding governmental entities or officials who acknowledge "Allah as the sovereign source of law, liberty, or government." The law would also permit the impeachment and removal of judges who listen to such cases.

They would forbid judges from determining the constitutionality of laws and end Iraqi court jurisdiction in cases involving Sharia law. It calls for the impeachment of judges who, through the subjective judgment of others, "abuse their authority."

They support minimal oversight and regulation of Mosques and Madrases.

They oppose the teaching of science, where it conflicts with the Koran, or any Mullah's interpretation of the Koran.

They support criminal penalties on medical professionals and scientists who engage in education or research not supported by the Koran.

Their platform supports the widespread and systematic discrimination against homosexuals, and others, including imprisonment and fines for those violating Sharia law and removal of Iraq's jurisdiction over like cases.

... Oh wait, that was the Texas GOP and the guy nailed to two pieces of wood.

add The Internets to the list of things John McCain knows nothing about

“Aware of the Internet,” Computer Non-User McCain Touts eBay as Recession Cure

McCain campaign aide Mark Soohoo reassured voters that “John McCain is aware of the Internet” and “You don’t actually have to use a computer to understand how it shapes the country.”

Earlier this year, the Politico’s Mike Allen (video here) asked the GOP presidential contenders whether they used a PC or Mac. In his response, McCain revealed that when it comes to high tech devices large (like private jets) or small (like personal computers), he is dependent on his beer heiress wife: “Neither. I’m an illiterate that has to rely on my wife for all of the assistance I can get.”

And when all else fails for distressed homeowners, McCain’s Americans should just join the rapidly growing ranks of those:
“Doing what is necessary — working a second job, skipping a vacation, and managing their budgets — to make their payments on time.”
Of course, John McCain isn’t speaking from personal experience when it comes to either computers or financial hardship. (As it turns out,
one of McCain’s 8 homes - the one with “remote control window coverings” - is now up for sale.) Knowing even less than Ted Stevens (”series of tubes”) or George W. Bush (who “clicks around” on “the Google”), John McCain nonetheless offered the Internet as the answer for Americans struggling to make ends meet.

Yes, The Computer: that's some hi-tech shit. They've only been around for, uh, decades... I wonder if he can use the bathroom by himself, or does he rely on adult diapers?

life imitates Dr. Strangelove

Towns question fluoride use
Some oppose the chemical's presence in water supply

Fluoride fights stretch back more than a half-century. Recent studies, though, suggest a possible link to thyroid trouble and problems for people on dialysis. The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention maintains that water fluoridation is a safe and cost-effective way to prevent tooth decay, but some scientists say questions about the long-term impact cannot be dismissed.

I can no longer sit back and allow communist infiltration, communist indoctrination, communist subversion, and the international communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.
-- Gen. Jack D. Ripper

Porn is Love

Yesterday, it hit me: The hot women who make porn love men and mankind. They have those hot, hot bodies that we all look at and lust after while they go about their daily activities. They say to themselves, "I wish there was some way to give back to them." Of course, it would be impractical to sleep with all of us. There'd be no time to eat, wash, or even sleep! Instead they get it on in front of the camera, allowing us to see and hear what it would be like to nail them from behind then ejaculate all over their face and hair.

It has nothing to do with low self esteem secondary to a history of childhood sexual abuse, or a need for fast cash to get one's next fix. No no. It's all about love of men.

Women of the porn industry, thank you.

LoC Ramping Up

We topped 70 posts a week 3 weeks in a row, first time we've dun dat since August of last year. Is it the new blood we've injected into the aging beast? $#!+ blowing up faster than before? Beisbol season? Lou Daaabs?

Mugabe should be taking notes

It's good to be a penguine in Burma.

I love that the NYTimes quotes a diplomat saying "...which is nuts."

“They really believe, and they have believed for a long time, that we are planning an invasion, which is nuts,” said Shari Villarosa, the highest-ranking United States diplomat in Yangon. “We are not,” she added.

The Onion runs out of ideas, rips off K-Mad's reality...can he sue?

Really are they spying on us? This almost reads like our chat tonight...WORD FOR WORD.

Fantasy Baseball Owner Rips Team In Media

BROOKLYN, NY—Mark Mendicus, 26-year-old Staples employee and principal owner of the fantasy baseball team Beat With Uggla Stick, blasted his underperforming team in the media Monday, going so far as to single out individual players, criticize their recent play, and question their commitment to winning.

"They all suck," a visibly frustrated Mendicus told reporters following Beat With Uggla Stick's head-to-head 8-2 loss to division rivals The Mark Currys. "[Alex] Rios sucks, Delmon [Young] sucks, Pedro [Martinez] fucking sucks. Everybody on my team sucks."

"The Beat With Uggla Sticks have a proud tradition of winning," continued Mendicus, whose team has made the playoffs the past two years, including a league championship win in 2006. "But apparently that means nothing to this group of players. Apparently they'd rather just lose every single 5x5 category. Apparently my players don't care about winning the 12-team Yahoo! Plus 'Mmm…Fantasy Baseball' league pennant as much as I do."

Mendicus had high expectations for his team coming into the season, but his players have been plagued by injuries and inconsistency, losing six of their first eight matchups en route to a 22-46-14 overall record. The historically temperamental owner did not hold back his opinions after their latest humiliating defeat, telling the New York Post that Prince Fielder "had better start hitting some fucking home runs already" before making several vicious personal attacks on the first baseman, calling him a "fatass," a "fat bastard," and a "fat fuck" in the course of one statement.

"I paid $38 for [Fielder], and this is what I get?" Mendicus said, directing reporters' attention to Fielder's "putrid" Yahoo! Game Log. "Twelve home runs. Twelve goddamn home runs. When you pay $38 for a guy, you had better give them a hell of a lot more than 12 home runs through the first half. I got you for your power, buddy, not your walks. This is a batting average league, anyway, not an on-base percentage league, so walks don't fucking matter. It's like these guys don't understand that."

Mendicus continued his heated rant, calling shortstop Felipe Lopez a "talentless hack whose multiple position eligibility is the only thing saving his ass from waivers," claiming that pitcher Ian Snell is "killing [him] in WHIP, absolutely killing [him]," and encouraging outfielder Brad Hawpe to "go eat shit." He then accused the whole team of not stealing enough bases and "not playing like true Beat With Uggla Sticks."

He did, however, reserve some praise for hot-hitting second baseman Dan Uggla upon learning that Uggla homered twice that day, saying, "That's you, Danny."

With his team already down 9-1 in this week's matchup against Gary Sheffield's Head Vein, Mendicus issued an ultimatum, claiming that unless his team delivers at least a tie, there will "be some changes around here." Mendicus said that "no one is safe," and had particularly strong words for pitcher Chris Young, who three weeks ago was hit in the face with a line drive and has not made a single start since.

"Toughen up, you little baby," Mendicus said. "You don't throw with your face, do you? I already got Phil [Hughes] in the DL slot, so you better get your ass back in action."

Mendicus has a reputation for following his players' performance with intense scrutiny and personal investment, often to a fanatical degree. It is rumored that he monitors their progress on multiple Yahoo! Sports box score windows on his computer screen, and will erupt into obscenity-laden tirades at work after a mere groundout or caught stealing.

"Fuck you Edwin, you good-for-nothing piece of shit," Mendicus was overheard as saying while angrily clicking the "Refresh" button on his web browser 14 times after pitcher Edwin Jackson loaded the bases with three straight walks. "Throw the ball over the goddamn plate. I need a win here, you idiot. I'm getting killed in wins."

For some players on Mendicus' team, the demand for instant results, the constant threats to be released or traded, and the nonstop verbal abuse is too much. Pitcher Jeremy Guthrie has been dropped and picked up by Mendicus seven times already this season, and he says he doesn't like playing under such volatile conditions.

"I wish he'd have a little faith in me," Guthrie said. "I don't like being picked up the night before my start and then simply dropped the next day. It wears on you as a player. And now I have to explain myself to my kids when they read in the papers that their daddy is a 'shit-for-brains asshole who can't even get five strikeouts when that's all we needed to win the category.'"

"I'm sorry, but when I have runners on first and third and one out, I'm going to go for the double play to get out of the inning, not the strikeout," Guthrie added. "Even though they don't give out 'points' for double plays."

Some players, however, praised Mendicus for his fiery attitude and desire to win, saying they prefer that to the kind of owners who treat their fantasy teams like nothing more than a fun distraction from their real jobs.

"It's good that he cares," said Beat With Uggla Stick catcher Jorge Posada. "Some owners, like Garrett Baldwin of the Smilin' Joe Randas, or Mike Broberg of Tiny Damon, they just sort of check in every once in a while to see how we're doing, but that's it. In fact, I've been on the Tiny Damon's bench since I went on the DL in April, and they don't even have anyone in the catcher slot. That's just shoddy ownership."

"But there's also a thing called caring too much," Posada added. "You can only be called a worthless shitbag after popping out so many times before it starts to sting. It's at the point where playing for Mendicus is almost as bad as playing for Hank Steinbrenner.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Karl Rove on Barack Obama

"Even if you never met him, you know this guy...he's the guy at the country club with the beautiful date, holding a martini and a cigarette that stands against the wall and makes snide comments about everyone who passes by."

A triumph of charisma over flow

Briggs and I coulda written this

But, of course, or (un)fortunately, we don't work for the Worlds Awfulest Newspaper (tie), so we couldn't. Well, we shoulda written it here. But we didn't, coz we're lazy. So we're too late...

Bulgaria: Between two worlds

A shockingly large percentage of Lou Dobbs viewers are so freaking obviously lemmings (cont)

Do you believe the government of the United States should, at a minimum, keep track of people who are in this country on so-called "temporary visas?"

Yes: 98%
No (and Lou of course can't imagine who these phokks are): 2%

Coming next, a definition of what "keeping track of" means.

Fantasy-hoops plutocrat to get richer

The Indiana Pacers and Toronto Raptors have held discussions about a possible trade involving Jermaine O'Neal and T.J. Ford, according to reports in the Indianapolis Star and the Toronto Star.

The Raptors -- eager to move an unhappy Ford and make Jose Calderon their starting point guard -- also would include center Rasho Nesterovic and possibly their first-round pick in Thursday's draft, both newspapers reported.

Why driving is so awesome

And riding the bus is so for losers...

Yes! It's the Knight Rider satnav!

Or perhaps I should call this beating a dead horse silly. Trying to extract a river from a pebble. Making a mountain out of Shakira's small and humble boobies. Siphoning additional value from an 80's TV series. Oh, wait...

some GC quotes

Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.

If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him.

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.

The status quo sucks.

The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.

Weather forecast for tonight: dark.

Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?

What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?

The planet is fine. The people are fucked.

You can prick your finger — just don’t finger your prick.

Here is something you’ll never hear: "If you don’t stop giving me a blow job, I’m calling the police."

You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.

Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.

Religion has convinced people that there’s an invisible man…living in the sky. Who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn’t want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer, and burn, and scream, until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you. He loves you and he needs money.

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

I don’t have pet peeves — I have major psychotic fucking hatreds!

I wanna live. I don’t wanna die. That’s the whole meaning of life: Not dying! I figured that shit out by myself in the third grade


this sucks

Comedian George Carlin dies in Los Angeles at 71

Comedian George Carlin, a counter-culture hero famed for his routines about drugs and dirty words, died of heart failure at a Los Angeles-area hospital on Sunday, a spokesman said. He was 71.

Carlin, who had a history of heart and drug-dependency problems, died at Saint John's Health Center in Santa Monica about 6 p.m. PDT (9 p.m. EDT) after being admitted earlier in the afternoon for chest pains, spokesman Jeff Abraham told Reuters.

Known for his edgy, provocative material, Carlin achieved status as an anti-Establishment icon in the 1970s with stand-up bits full of drug references and a routine called "Seven Words You Can Never Say On Television." A regulatory battle over a radio broadcast of the routine ultimately reached the U.S. Supreme Court.

In the 1978 case, Federal Communications Commission vs. Pacifica Foundation, the top U.S. court ruled that the words cited in Carlin's routine were indecent, and that the government's broadcast regulator could ban them from being aired at times when children might be listening.

Carlin's comedic sensibility often came back to a central theme: humanity is doomed.

"I don't have any beliefs or allegiances. I don't believe in this country, I don't believe in religion, or a god, and I don't believe in all these man-made institutional ideas," he told Reuters in a 2001 interview.

Carlin, who wrote several
books and performed in many television comedy specials, is survived by his wife Sally Wade, and daughter Kelly Carlin McCall.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Will the living envy the dead? YES!, or, Dat's da "first place" Sox?

My phokking @SSSS

in the meantime, it would be prudent to expect the occasional delay

Those old transit blues

The CTA's "Countdown to a new Brown"? How many years? How many stations? And earthquakes aren't part of our reconstruction equation. We don't open stations. We close them. We put up with slow zones, evacuations and even derailments. And then we're told to "Leave early. Leave late. Alternate."

Like move, perhaps? Seriously.