Saturday, August 11, 2007

another reason to hate MLB

Promos by the talent-free Dane Cook...

Zimbabwe learning from the best

Zimbabwe President Signs Eavesdropping Bill

Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe on Friday signed into law the controversial Interception of Communications Bill, which gives his government the authority to eavesdrop on phone and Internet communications and read physical mail.

The legislation has drawn outspoken opposition from the political opposition and civil society organizations as trampling on the civil rights of Zimbabweans.

Spokesman Nelson Chamisa of the opposition Movement for Democratic Change faction of Morgan Tsvangirai called it an addition to “the dictator’s tool kit.”[..]

Human rights lawyer Otto Saki told VOA that the law interferes and undermines the enjoyment of rights enshrined in the constitution and is a sign Mr. Mugabe wants to consolidate his power by “any means necessary or unnecessary.”

But Communications Minister Christopher Mushowe said Zimbabwe is not unique in the world in passing such legislation, citing electronic eavesdropping programs in the United States, the United Kingdom and South Africa, among other countries.

Was Fung also tardy?

Study: Obese kids absent more

The City Dat Works: you just can't go around parking your Wienermobile anywhere you like

A Chicago police officer tickets the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile in the 400 block of North Michigan Avenue.

Cop writes a ticket for giant sausage

A massive hot dog clogged Chicago's main artery Thursday morning. In a rare occurrence of an encased-meat vehicle committing a traffic violation, Chicago police ticketed the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile for illegal parking on the Magnificent Mile. The incident began at 10:57 a.m. in the 400 block of North Michigan Avenue. At least two members of the Wienermobile entourage left the vehicle in the six-lane street with its emergency blinkers on. The vehicle is registered to Kraft Foods under the Wisconsin license plate "WEENR." A police officer approached the Chevrolet with the 27-foot fiberglass sausage and removable bun roof. The officer radioed for a tow truck.

Matt Smith (FULLA$#i+!) of the city's Streets and Sanitation Department said the city would have been ready to handle the job. "We have access to tow trucks that could have handled a Polish sausage, not just a hot dog," Smith said. [HUH? Isn't a Polish sausage BIGGER than a hot dog?] "We have access to tow trucks that could have handled a Polish sausage, not just a hot dog," Smith said. The officer wrote the ticket and affixed it to the wiener's footlong side mirror. Ed Walsh, a spokesman for the city Department of Revenue, said parking in a "Parking/Standing Prohibited Anytime" zone is a $50 violation. About 15 minutes later, as curious passersby snapped pictures with their camera phones, the driver and passenger of the vehicle returned before tow trucks could arrive. "The situation was resolved without the use of ketchup, which in Chicago is a big thing," Smith said. [Well, DAT is good to know.]

The entourage got a grilling from the officer. "You can't just park here," the officer said. One of the passengers, who declined to be identified, said they were visiting a Wienermobile alumnus who worked nearby, but were unaware that one could not park a giant sausage in the middle of the city's busiest thoroughfare. Sydney Lindner, a spokeswoman for Kraft Foods, said the Wienermobile is on a nationwide tour promoting a contest to sing the Oscar Mayer jingle in an upcoming commercial. She said "regardless of the reason" the driver had for parking there, the company neither condones nor relishes such actions. "It's against company policy to park in undesignated area even if you're driving a company vehicle that's shaped like a giant hot dog," Lindner said. "We appreciate the police doing their job and we regret any inconvenience this may have caused." The hot dog was last seen driving north on Michigan Avenue.

Friday, August 10, 2007


Bobby Jenks retired all three batters he faced to earn a save Friday against the Mariners. Jenks has now retired 38 batters in a row, tying David Wells' American League record.

But hey...on the subway it only costs three bucks...

From a list of translations made of Harry Potter counterfeits...originally in Chinese - their plot summaries attached - published in today's favorite:

Harry Potter and the Big Funnel

Published: August 10, 2007

After six years at Hogwarts, Harry Potter becomes an intern sorcerer and is assigned to teach at the Honiton School. Harry has a painful time in his aunt’s house, as Dudley has met a belly-dancing girl. As Harry prepares to report to his job, Bat Bug warns him disaster awaits.

At the school, his students become wooden stools one after another. Harry doesn’t know whether an evil student is behind this, or if his old benefactor Hagrid is making a mistake, or if the shadow of Voldemort has returned. Did it have something to do with the big funnel?

Fathead could have done dis

San Diego IP H R ER BB K HR Season ERA
W. Ledezma 2.1 5 4 3 3 3 1 6.75

If they had checked with me i could have told them Ledezzzma (Post-Traumatic K-Mad Syndrome) was gonna SUCK.

It's Elvis night at da cell

Smiff should have been airlifted in for dat one...

Show me the money

Woman Must Forfeit Lottery Winnings

WHITE CITY, Ore. -- A local woman must turn over her lottery winnings after a judge said she won them illegally.

Prosecutors said Christina Goodenow, of White City, used a credit card that belonged to her then-boyfriend's dead mother to buy a winning $1 million Scratch-It ticket in Oct. 2005.
Goodenow asked lottery officials to keep her win quiet, claiming to be a victim of domestic violence. But police learned of the crime about two weeks later, as Goodenow continued to use the stolen credit card.

On Thursday, Jackson County Judge Ray White ruled that the winnings were the proceeds of illegal activity and must be forfeited under Oregon law.
Goodenow pleaded no contest to forgery, cheating and aggravated theft.
Besides stripping Goodenow of her winnings, White sentenced Goodenow to a month in jail. But White gave her credit for the six months she served earlier this year for possessing methamphetamine.

Goodenow, who maintains she bought the winning ticket with cash from her own pocket and said she plans to appeal, must spend two years on probation.

I thought you couldn't buy lottery tickets with credit cards anyway. And why does she get credit for time served for a different crime?

Better not piss her off

Woman Kills Raccoon With Her Bare Hands
By Associated Press
10:14 PM CDT, August 9, 2007

CHESHIRE, Conn. - A woman killed a raccoon with her bare hands Thursday when the animal attacked a young boy. Officials with Cheshire animal control say the woman was walking in the woods around 11 a.m. with a group of children when the animal bit the 5-year-old son of a friend. She pulled the raccoon off the child, told the children to run home and strangled the animal, authorities said. "She had the presence of mind to choke it," animal control officer April Leiler told the Record-Journal of Meriden. "She is one tough lady."
The carcass was taken to a state laboratory in Hartford where it tested positive for rabies. The woman and the boy are undergoing rabies treatment. Their names have not been released.

Why don't they leave me alone?

Another come on from the blogosphere...

"Not quite a librarian, but...

Just a quick invitation to my slightly romantic (rated G), somewhat sentimental, and often coffee and book-focused blog.
Funky reviews, parodies about book reviewing, Amazon and reading, and some cool book-library-coffee related products.
or, if you prefer, its older brother:

Thanks, and have fun reading.

Look, i don't want to read your blog, and i have no idea why anyone is reading ours. Go plant a tree or work in a soup kitchen or something. As for me, i'm going to blow my nose for the 6th millionth time today and take a nap. I suggest you do the same.

Is Bush eligible to take the class?

News item: The Department Of Education Will Launch A Free, Web-Based Portal To Help Immigrants Learn English, And Expand This Model Over Time.

One Of The First Things They'll Learn Is That You Don't Have To Capitalize Every Phokking Word In A Sentence, Unless You Are Trying To Be Totally Phokking Teutonic.

Maybe Podzzzie can carry the equipment...

or Matt Murton's jock...from Will Carroll (we'll lay off today - his mother is having issues so instead of ripping, we should maybe think about a prayer - seriously):

I've often been accused of being both a homer for the Cubs and of always being down on them. They probably go hand in hand more than you'd know. So I'll surprise everyone and be a bright ray of sunshine for the Wrigleyville residents today--Alfonso Soriano isn't likely to miss much beyond the minimum. As we said just after the injury, it was probably the best possible scenario aside from Soriano not being hurt at all. The quad strain is healing nicely and while the minimum is pushing it a bit, Soriano is good at not overextending himself. I mean that in a nice way, that he's smart enough not to push things so far as to reinjure himself. (Who was it that criticized him for not hustling earlier this year, not realizing he was under orders not to run hard?) Even at far less than full-go, Soriano can help the ballclub, though his status as leadoff man might be the bigger question.

Now dis would be funny! PODZZZIE to the CUBZ!

A's must have wanted too much for Shannon Stewart...

Hendry must have finished off the pizza and has moved onto the chicken wings dipped in bleu cheese...

The Cubs put in a waiver claim on Scott Podsednik and could be attempting to work out a trade for the left fielder. If acquired, Podsednik would probably become the Cubs' primary left fielder and leadoff man until Alfonso Soriano returns. He'd figure to have a diminished role and value if Soriano could return in September.

Corms, come in off the ledge - don't throw your life away over this.

Maybe it's a Sign to Get Out.

Army to expand recruiting incentives.

Does anyone have him?

ST. LOUIS (AP) -- In spring training 2005, Rick Ankiel launched his new career as a 26-year-old minor-league outfielder. In his first game back in the major leagues, he launched one out of the ballpark.
Ankiel's three-run homer capped a storybook return and Joel Pineiro worked seven scoreless innings in the St. Louis Cardinals' 5-0 victory over the San Diego Padres on Thursday night.
"Unbelievable," Ankiel said. "You almost can't put that into words."

Sarge, hurry!

we already knew he has Lying Disease...but this?

President Bush Treated For Lyme Disease Last Year

"...[possible?] neurologic, psychiatric and cardiac manifestations...cognitive defects..."

Some hilarious comments here, too.

Thursday, August 9, 2007

Smiff in high school? Hell, today...

R-rated trailer

even less exciting than cricket

David Beckham makes his long-awaited MLS debut

maybe so...but not dis time


Yes, part deux.


We are living in a golden age (cont)

Now they're blaming it on our bones...

A Link Between Bones and Obesity

What is cheating?

If steroids are cheating, why isn't LASIK?

the record's stuck, the record's stuck...

...or, Yahoo and the space-time continuum...

Top 5th: Tampa Bay
- J. Wilson homered to deep right, A. Iwamura scored
Top 6th: Tampa Bay
- J. Wilson doubled to deep right, G. Norton scored
Top 7th: Tampa Bay
- J. Wilson singled to center, A. Iwamura scored, C. Crawford to third
- J. Wilson singled to left, C. Crawford scored, B.J. Upton to second
- J. Wilson singled to shallow center, B.J. Upton scored, D. Young to third
- J. Wilson hit sacrifice fly to center, D. Young scored
Bot 7th: Detroit
- J. Wilson singled to right center, M. Thames scored, C. Monroe to second


Bush Worried About New Threat:


Torture, American Style

Our tax dollars at work...

The Banality Of Dick Cheney's Evil

The Black Sites: A rare look inside the C.I.A.’s secret interrogation program [The New Yorker]

watch out, fellers

Anyone been breathing lately?

MSNBC, which recently reported that a major heat wave was "hitting both rural areas and cities," now reports that another major heat wave is causing difficulties for "anybody who has to deal with breathing, which is just about everybody."

Of course, this won't affect vampires, such as Dick Cheney and Larry King.

Pizzaman Alert

Kids, do not attempt this at home after overdosing on double anchovies...

Shannon Stewart was reportedly claimed off waivers by the Cubs, giving the A's a choice of either negotiating a trade or pulling Stewart back from the waiver wire. "I heard something like that," Stewart said. "I really don't know what to say about it. I like the guys here. I like the team here."

Modern Education and the Criminal Mind

Convenience store turns tables on robber.

Too Stupid to be Fictional

Mets fan could face big tax bill over Bonds' home run ball.

Just a Quick Note...

To say Bud Selig is more toad than human.

And Obama is officially Boring. He's becoming a male Hilary Clinton. Boo.

an inauspicious debut

B. Kim 2.1 7 5 4 1 3 1 4.93

(For "anonymous posters," debut means new - as this was B.H. Kim's first start for Arizona. Do you understand that? If so, we'll try to explain "inauspicious" tomorrow, but i'm not hopeful.)

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Damn Liberal Media

Now the NY Times decided to help the terrists out...

If You Were a Terrorist, How Would You Attack?

I would feed Sarge chili & let him loose in Woodfield. I would give Smiff his own blog.

Smiff Next?

Padres likely to cut ties with colorful character Wells

Hell Hath Frozen Over

This may not be such a good idea, based on how often our Trib doesn't make it into the office...

Tribune, Sun-Times ink historic distribution deal

Smugglin' the LoC way

Passenger 'hid monkey under hat'

A man has been questioned by police at LaGuardia airport in New York after smuggling a monkey onto a flight from Florida by hiding it under his hat.

Passengers spotted the animal when it climbed out and perched on the man's ponytail, Spirit Airlines spokeswoman Alison Russell told reporters.

Ms Russell said the monkey - a marmoset - spent the remainder of the flight in the man's seat and was well-behaved.

It is unclear whether the unnamed man will face any criminal charges.

The man's journey originated in Lima, Peru. Ms Russell said it was not known how the man avoided detection there, and during a several-hour stopover in Fort Lauderdale, Florida.

When passengers noticed the fist-sized primate on the flight, they asked the man "if he knew he had a monkey on him", Ms Russell said.

New York animal control officials said the monkey appeared to be healthy, the Associated Press news agency reported.

It said the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention was planning to quarantine the animal for a month.

After that, the monkey could be sent to a zoo, AP said.

65 Profile Views

I'm catchin' up to ya Smiff...


Young Republican National Federation Chair Resigns After Sex Scandal

dats gonna hurt

Milwaukee IP H R ER BB K HR Season ERA
Y. Gallardo 2.2 12 11 11 3 1 2 4.20

The New Red States vs Blue States Map

Packin' it on...

what could be more patriotic than fighting in Iraq?

Romney Speaks Up for Sons' Decisions
1:25 PM CDT, August 8, 2007
BETTENDORF, Iowa - Republican presidential hopeful Mitt Romney on Wednesday defended his five sons' decision not to enlist in the military, saying they're showing their support for the country by "helping me get elected."

Romney, who did not serve in Vietnam due to his Mormon missionary work and a high draft lottery number, was asked the question by an anti-war activist after a speech in which he called for "a surge of support" for U.S. forces in Iraq.

Romney noted that his middle son, 36-year-old Josh, was completing a recreational vehicle tour of all 99 Iowa counties on Wednesday and said, "I respect that and respect all those and the way they serve this great country."

All five sons also show their patriotism by being frequent "anonymous posters" on blogger sites.

expect delays...and to pay more for delays

CTA board OKs fare hike
Bus and rail fares will increase but the Yellow and Purple Line Express routes will keep running, under a new plan the CTA board approved this morning.

The new fares go into effect Sept. 16, CTA officials said. Also, go phokk yourselves.

debate winner: Kucinich, by a mile

He's short, has a "foreign" name and might be a Martian, but he has the biggest balls on the stage, inc. Obama and Hillary. But anyone this honest is going to stay around 2%.

Post #1000!

To sum up, all you need to know, show you what I mean: Smiff..... HYOOOGE GAP ..... Corms, Sarge, K-Mad (a confederacy of dunces?).

Team Points Pts Change Waiver Moves
Lord Viper Elefantes 207 -1.5 6 50
Maddogs 122.5 -3.5 12 44
Blue Ward Cyclones 121 -0.5 5 12
Fightin' Bluestem 107.5 -1 2 11

Ron Shandler of Swindler Inc.: Wrong Again

He could barely catch his breath this spring telling everyone to stay away from this flash-in-pan. Leading the league in HR and RBI, with a near .400 OBP? What is Ron smoking? He might be pretty good, Ron (my subscription expires this week).

Ryan Howard (Hillcrest Hummingbird, Triple Dog Dare) hit a pair of solo homers and added a third RBI on a groundout as the Phillies blew out the Marlins 11-1 on Tuesday. Howard hit a solo homer off reliever Carlos Martinez in the fourth, then added a second blast off reliever Mauro Zarate (Chix?) in the sixth. Despite playing in just 94 games this season, Howard has an impressive 32 homers and 93 RBI.

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

it's a good thing these American-hating freedom-haters can now be secretly wiretapped w/o a warrant...

Another Retired General Blasts Bush Administration Handling Of Iraq

FULL@$#i+ Flip-Flopper

In the past two years, Gov. Tim Pawlenty of Minnesota twice vetoed legislation to raise the state’s gas tax to pay for transportation needs.

Now, with at least five people dead in the collapse of the Interstate 35W bridge here, Mr. Pawlenty, a Republican, appears to have had a change of heart.

“He’s open to that,” Brian McClung, a spokesman for the governor, said Monday of a higher gas tax. “He believes we need to do everything we can to address this situation and the extraordinary costs.”

In fairness, it's only been recently discovered that bridges and roads cost money to build and maintain.

Our long, national nightmare is finally over.

Barry Bonds set the all-time record for home runs when he hit the 756th of his career off the Nationals Mike Bacsik in the fifth inning on Tuesday.

why Smiff doesn't go to the beach

People carried away and eaten alive by giant jellyfish? We'll pass...i was practically eaten alive by mosquitoes on Sunday.

“I'd estimate about 200 citywide per day,” said Lt. Nick Lerma, spokesman for the San Diego lifeguard service.

Rise in giant jellyfish brings scores of stings

we're not the only dopes

Do I have to draw a map for you?

London (Reuters) - As many as 11 million British motorists are unable to read a basic road map, according to a survey released Monday.

Sixteen percent of British drivers have become so heavily reliant on satellite navigation systems that they have given up keeping a map in their car.

The survey -- based on a poll of 1,000 UK drivers -- estimated Britons' poor map-reading skills resulted in 36 billion wasted miles being driven each year.

oh, now he loves children...

Guillen's 'kids' giving Sox hope

whose bulb is dimmest?

My money is still on Sullivan.

Sarge's new home

Pros: It's all environmentally friendly & $#!+.
Cons: He'll be livin' with the terrists. Wait, no, that's a pro, because he hates the prez so he loves the terrists.

World's first carbon-free city
Get ready for the world's first carbon-free city -- smack-dab in the center of the oil-rich Middle East. Business 2.0 Magazine reports.

By Susanna Hamner, Business 2.0 Magazine writer-reporter
August 6 2007: 12:18 PM EDT

(Business 2.0 Magazine) -- It may seem strange that the emirate of Abu Dhabi, one of the planet's largest suppliers of oil, is planning to build the world's first carbon-neutral city.
But in fact, it makes a lot of financial sense. The 3.7-square-mile city, called Masdar, will cut its electricity bill by harnessing wind, solar, and geothermal energy, while a total ban on cars within city walls should reduce the long-term health costs associated with smog.

Masdar is still on the drawing board -- construction begins in January, with a very tentative completion date of 2009 -- but the result will be watched closely around the world.

If they can construct a zero-carbon city in this climate, you can do it anywhere," says Richard Young, a research manager with SustainLane, which evaluates sustainable cities and products. "It will have tremendous economic impact."
Indeed, all companies that sign up to take part -- a list that so far includes British Petroleum (Charts), Fiat, General Ele (Charts, Fortune 500)ctric, and Mitsubishi -- will get hefty carbon-credit bonuses, redeemable on the world's two major carbon exchanges.

Its on now

Clinton and Obama have barely spoken to each other for months

Yes, then after all that Al Gore will enter late & smoke 'em....

so never mind that one ton missile in your yard

"Russian aircraft haven't conducted any flights over that area and haven't violated Georgia's airspace..."

Monday, August 6, 2007

News Item: "Elton John wants Internet shut down."

Will this site be the first to go: ?

Poor Rudy

Looks like he can't even count on his daughter's vote, but that's probably his fault...

Rudy Giuliani's daughter is supporting Barack Obama.

K-Mad will hate himself anyway...

but should i do it in an attempt to win it all?

"McClure, Kevin" to me 7:38 am (4 hours ago)

I'll probably hate myself in the morning, but:

Uggla, DeRosa, Corpas, Doumit and Rowand
Cain, Patterson, Theriot, Try the Veal, and C Young (Az)

Rotation becomes:
Webb, Hamels, Harang, O Perez, Clemens, Wells
Closer: Hoffman

B Molina/Doumit/Castro/Bard

what could possibly go wrong? (cont'd)

From The Economist...

Clear skies ahead

With just over a year to go until the 2008 Olympic games begin, organisers are researching ways to guarantee clear skies for the opening ceremony on August 8th. Meteorologists reckon there is a 50% chance of rain. Zhang Qiang, head of the Beijing Weather Modification Office, said 26 rain-making stations are experimenting with launching chemical catalysts to dispel clouds and to control the time and place of rainfall. Ms Zhang warned, though, that the technique is effective only for light precipitation and can do little to prevent heavy rain.

Uh, Duuuuh!

Footballers go missing in Denmark

Fifteen footballers who took part in the Homeless World Cup in Denmark have left their teams and gone missing, police and organisers say.

Seven of the missing players are from Burundi, four from Liberia, three from Cameroon and one from Afghanistan.

The men had entry visas that expired on Monday. Danish police say they will be arrested and deported if found.

The Liberian team managed to win third place in the tournament despite having lost four of its players.

The men may already have left Denmark as their visas allowed them to travel within the 15 European countries in the Schengen borderless travel area, Danish immigration authorities say.

The Homeless World Cup is an annual competition that aims to use football as a way to maximise social impact for the players involved - socially excluded, homeless people and people living in poverty.

Five hundred players from 48 countries took part in this year's tournament, which was held on miniature pitches in the Danish capital, Copenhagen.

The organisers said they were "upset and angry" at the players' disappearance.
"This is our fifth tournament and we've never had this experience before," said Kat Byles, a spokeswoman for the Homeless World Cup.
"We want to review the situation and put new measures in place to ensure this doesn't affect the positive impact of the tournament."

Next year's tournament takes place in Melbourne, Australia.

Baseball clearly needs this - invite all the bums from South America to play baseball here. And we expect them to all leave and go back to living on the streets after their day(s) in the limelight. Won't work for Cricket though - bums don't play cricket.

Shame them

Perhaps we can introduce this in our Government...

Thai cops punished by Hello Kitty

Police chiefs in the Thai capital, Bangkok, have come up with a new way of punishing officers who break the rules - an eye-catching Hello Kitty armband.
The armband is large, bright pink and has a Hello Kitty motif with two hearts embroidered on it.
From today, officers who are late, park in the wrong place or commit other minor transgressions will have to wear it for several days.
The armband is designed to shame the wearer, police officials said.
"This is to help build discipline. We should not let small offences go unnoticed," Police Colonel Pongpat Chayapan told Reuters news agency.
"Guilty officers will be made to wear the armbands in the office for a few days, with instructions not to disclose their offences. Let people guess what they have done," he said.
Further offences would be dealt with using a more traditional disciplinary panel, he said.
The cartoon character Hello Kitty was first introduced by Japanese company Sanrio in 1974.
The cute round-faced cat has become an Asia-wide marketing phenomenon, with Hello Kitty products such as stationery, hair accessories and kitchen appliances available across the region.

So ya gain Wootz

But loose (common internet spelling error) Alfonso. Woe is da nort sidaz. They can never have it all at da same time.

BTW, where's Mark "perfect mechanics" Prior?

We're fightin' dem ova there

And arming them too...

190,000 weapons 'missing in Iraq'

how to suck at sportswriting

Glavine may be last to reach 300 wins by Rick Gano

First, "Rick Gano" states this is Glavine's first attempt at win #300, when it was his 2nd. Secondly, why would Glavine be the last to reach 300 wins? Glavine, Maddux & Clemens all pitched in the era of five-starter why would they be the last? They all pitched into their 40's...why would they be the last starting pitchers to get to 300 when they're making millions of dollars per year? Seems to me there are/will be other starting pitchers who will reach this milestone if they start early enough and pitch long enough. Santana? Webb? Gallardo? &tc. ? Rick Gano is a moron and any of us could do his job.

Hmmm, i seem to recall sportswriters of yore proclaiming Ruth's & Maris's HR records would never be broken...

K-Mad salivates...

Toronto called up Hector Luna from the minors on Sunday August 5.

Blogging Fact #1

Anonymous posters are brain dead.

American-Hating Freedom-Haters: Why do they hate America and freedom?

More Newspapers Across The Country Call For End To Occupation Of Iraq

Seattle Times (Wash.), July 17, 2007
Philadelphia Inquirer (Penn.), July 15, 2007
Pittsburgh Tribune-Review (Penn.), July 15, 2007
Detroit Free-Press (Mich.), July 13, 2007
Wichita Eagle (Kan.), July 12, 2007
Boston Globe (Mass.), July 10, 2007
Tuscaloosa News (Ala.), July 8, 2007
New York Times (N.Y.), July 8, 2007
The Olympian (Wash.), July 4, 2007
Pittsburgh Post-Gazette (Penn.), June 26, 2007
Los Angeles Times (Calif.), May 6, 2007
Roanoke Times (Va.), May 6, 2007
Fort Worth Star-Telegram (Texas), May 1, 2007
Portland Press-Herald (Maine), April 29, 2007
San Jose Mercury News (Calif.), April 12, 2007
Cleveland Plain Dealer (Ohio), March 16, 2007
Baltimore Sun (Md.)....

Sunday, August 5, 2007

The greatest win in the history of professional sports?

Ripped from the Phillies' list...

Subject: SAVE - MESA

No, Hank, don't have a heart attack, although the bottom of the 11th might
have produced some on the list....This is the first time that line appears
in a Philly box score since August 31 of 2003....

A great comeback...down 6-1 in the 9th....we got 5 runs off Cordero, his
first blown save at home this year.....would have to recheck the box for the
big hits....

11th inning, 2 runs driven in by Helms with two outs, after an inning and a
third of shutout ball by Myers....the pen pitched seven innings of shutout
ball, BTW.....

then Table entered.....first batter....long ball to CF that Rowand made a
great catch on...the radio guys were going nuts on it...somebody who saw it
can fill us in on how good it the the second out, then gave up two
baserunners....second and third....intentional we pop another
antacid, a shot by Counsel snagged by Igutchi (speliing- I know I'm wrong).

Mesa adds to his lead as the Phillies save leader, notching #112. [PATHETIC-ed.]

Save: Mesa....whoulda thunk it?

[Doesn't help the Cubzz though as they were humiliated by Tommy G for #300....Puh-Thetic!]

People I Hate

Adam Eaton and his league worst 6.09 ERA...HATE.

Bottom 1st: Milwaukee
- C. Hart singled to center
- J.J. Hardy flied out to deep left, C. Hart to second
- R. Braun popped out to first
- P. Fielder walked
- K. Mench doubled to right, C. Hart scored, P. Fielder to third
- G. Jenkins doubled to deep left center, K. Mench and P. Fielder scored
- D. Miller ground rule double to deep right, G. Jenkins scored
- C. Counsell intentionally walked
- J. Suppan grounded into fielder's choice, D. Miller out at third, C. Counsell to second

4 runs, 4 hits, 0 errors
Philadelphia 0, Milwaukee 4


Manager Fredi Gonzalez acknowledged that Josh Johnson, who had surgery Tommy John surgery Friday to repair ligament damage in his elbow, would miss all of next season.

Bush to Minnesota: Go Phokk Yourselves!

"My message to the Twin Cities is: We want to get this bridge rebuilt as soon as possible," Pres. Bush said. However, he later added, "I make no promises on a timetable." [So, he just lied. Also, there are better things to spend money on, like blowing up bridges in Iraq we already blew up.] Bush's remarks lasted a few minutes. [He then took a nap.] He said he brought with him prayers from the country for those who lost loved ones, as well as those whose loved ones remain missing. [He brought other people's prayers? Is that like when you're flying and land and one of the flight attendants welcomes you to "San Diego," even though they just arrived with you?] He later added, "Out of these tragedies can come a better life." [Well, except for the dead people.]

To sum up:

Minnesota: didn't vote for him TWICE: build your own phokking bridges.

The ULTIMATE K-Madder?

I expect--no, *DEMAND!*--that K-Mad drafts him next week...

Mauro Zarate-S- Marlins Aug. 5
Marlins purchased the contract of RHP Mauro Zarate from Triple-A Albuquerque. He replaces Byung-Hyun Kim on Florida's pitching staff and will work out of the bullpen. The 24-year-old had a 1.66 ERA at three levels in the minors this year.

Even better, he replaces BH Kim...