1. 248 AB, .757 OPS, 3.9 RAR
2. 242 AB, .719 OPS, 1.0 RAR
A. On his way to another +.300 BA before fracturing kneecap (that was so k-mad!). Never the same after (see: k-mad), although xBA shows some bad luck (see also: k-mad). Super ct% means Avg will rebound. Again pegged for utility role, but that can change. Great end-gamer.
B. This is what end-game gambles look like: middling skills, doubles power, but tantalizing stretches inflate value. Rising GB% limits power. Defense is suspect, so regular playing time is a question. Take a pass.
Did you guess that 1 = B (Brendan Harris) and 2 = A (Jeff Keppinger)? Of course you did.
Showing posts with label that's so k-mad. Show all posts
Showing posts with label that's so k-mad. Show all posts
Friday, February 20, 2009
Monday, November 17, 2008
the upside of hard times
More spam (the edible kind).
AUSTIN, Minn. — The economy is in tatters and, for millions of people, the future is uncertain. But for some employees at the Hormel Foods Corporation plant here, times have never been better. They are working at a furious pace and piling up all the overtime they want.
The workers make Spam, perhaps the emblematic hard-times food in the American pantry. . .
"There are all kinds of people who have an emotional connection to Spam," said Gil Gutknecht Jr., the former Minnesota congressman, who was in the gift shop at the Spam Museum buying a Spam tie, sweatshirt and earrings. Mr. Gutknecht recalled that he once served as a judge in a Spam recipe contest. . .
If we can just find enough pink, gelatinous equivalents in other industries to get behind, we might ride this out...
A 12-ounce can of Spam, marketed as "Crazy Tasty," costs about $2.40. "People are realizing it’s not that bad a product," said Dan Johnson... who operates a 70-foot-high Spam oven.
Is that the same Dan Johnson who sucked all year in 2006 because he had double vision after he shot suntan lotion into his eye? (That was SO k-mad!) If so, it might not be a good idea for him to be standing in front of a 70-foot-high Spam oven.
AUSTIN, Minn. — The economy is in tatters and, for millions of people, the future is uncertain. But for some employees at the Hormel Foods Corporation plant here, times have never been better. They are working at a furious pace and piling up all the overtime they want.
The workers make Spam, perhaps the emblematic hard-times food in the American pantry. . .
"There are all kinds of people who have an emotional connection to Spam," said Gil Gutknecht Jr., the former Minnesota congressman, who was in the gift shop at the Spam Museum buying a Spam tie, sweatshirt and earrings. Mr. Gutknecht recalled that he once served as a judge in a Spam recipe contest. . .
If we can just find enough pink, gelatinous equivalents in other industries to get behind, we might ride this out...
A 12-ounce can of Spam, marketed as "Crazy Tasty," costs about $2.40. "People are realizing it’s not that bad a product," said Dan Johnson... who operates a 70-foot-high Spam oven.
Is that the same Dan Johnson who sucked all year in 2006 because he had double vision after he shot suntan lotion into his eye? (That was SO k-mad!) If so, it might not be a good idea for him to be standing in front of a 70-foot-high Spam oven.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Yep, K-Mad has him...
Cameron Maybin has been sidelined at Double-A after being bit on the face by a spider.
That's a new one. Maybin has been out for the past five days after missing time with a back injury earlier in the season. In between injuries he's hit .278/.374/.465 with 13 homers, 20 steals and a 115/56 K/BB ratio in 101 games to retain his status as one of the game's top outfield prospects.
~
That's a new one. Maybin has been out for the past five days after missing time with a back injury earlier in the season. In between injuries he's hit .278/.374/.465 with 13 homers, 20 steals and a 115/56 K/BB ratio in 101 games to retain his status as one of the game's top outfield prospects.
~
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
SUCKS-like symptoms infest Team USA dugout
Night of the Tiffees Part II - The Horroring
With former/current K-Madders Tiffee, Koplove, LaPorta, Schierholtz, Marson, and most ominously, Dexter Fowler on his first day as a Prairie Chicken, these poor phokks never had a chance.
Jung Bong started for Korea. Winning pitcher: Y Suk Min.
With former/current K-Madders Tiffee, Koplove, LaPorta, Schierholtz, Marson, and most ominously, Dexter Fowler on his first day as a Prairie Chicken, these poor phokks never had a chance.
Jung Bong started for Korea. Winning pitcher: Y Suk Min.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Pythagoras SUCKS
K-Mad in our Nation's capital, still whining...
This week in Andersonville Horrorz: run differential +27; record 3-3
This week in Andersonville Horrorz: run differential +27; record 3-3
Thursday, July 10, 2008
the k-maddest generation
The baby boomers -- that prominent group of middle-agers whose massive numbers invite never-ending dissection and speculation -- have once again spoken. What they have said is, "Waaaaaahhh."
This is according to a social and demographic trends survey released recently by the Pew Research Center. The survey measured the pessimism, dissatisfaction and general curmudgeonliness of 2,413 adults in various generations.
The results validate any member of the Greatest Generation who ever looked at his or her offspring and sadly thought, "soft." Simply put, boomers are a bunch of . . . whiners.
More than older or younger generations, boomers -- born from 1946 to 1964 -- worry that their income won't keep up with rising costs of living. They say it's harder to get ahead today than it was 10 years ago. They are more likely to say that their standard of living is lower than their folks' but that things don't look too good for their kids either (67 percent of younger generations, meanwhile, feel they have it better than their parents).
Everything stinks, except for the things that stink even more, and it's not exactly clear why, considering that this is the population with the highest median income. Boomers also have fewer difficulties affording housing or medical care, the survey says, and they enjoyed greater job security last year than older or younger generations.
This is according to a social and demographic trends survey released recently by the Pew Research Center. The survey measured the pessimism, dissatisfaction and general curmudgeonliness of 2,413 adults in various generations.
The results validate any member of the Greatest Generation who ever looked at his or her offspring and sadly thought, "soft." Simply put, boomers are a bunch of . . . whiners.
More than older or younger generations, boomers -- born from 1946 to 1964 -- worry that their income won't keep up with rising costs of living. They say it's harder to get ahead today than it was 10 years ago. They are more likely to say that their standard of living is lower than their folks' but that things don't look too good for their kids either (67 percent of younger generations, meanwhile, feel they have it better than their parents).
Everything stinks, except for the things that stink even more, and it's not exactly clear why, considering that this is the population with the highest median income. Boomers also have fewer difficulties affording housing or medical care, the survey says, and they enjoyed greater job security last year than older or younger generations.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
The Onion runs out of ideas, rips off K-Mad's reality...can he sue?
Really are they spying on us? This almost reads like our chat tonight...WORD FOR WORD.
BROOKLYN, NY—Mark Mendicus, 26-year-old Staples employee and principal owner of the fantasy baseball team Beat With Uggla Stick, blasted his underperforming team in the media Monday, going so far as to single out individual players, criticize their recent play, and question their commitment to winning.
"They all suck," a visibly frustrated Mendicus told reporters following Beat With Uggla Stick's head-to-head 8-2 loss to division rivals The Mark Currys. "[Alex] Rios sucks, Delmon [Young] sucks, Pedro [Martinez] fucking sucks. Everybody on my team sucks."
"The Beat With Uggla Sticks have a proud tradition of winning," continued Mendicus, whose team has made the playoffs the past two years, including a league championship win in 2006. "But apparently that means nothing to this group of players. Apparently they'd rather just lose every single 5x5 category. Apparently my players don't care about winning the 12-team Yahoo! Plus 'Mmm…Fantasy Baseball' league pennant as much as I do."
Mendicus had high expectations for his team coming into the season, but his players have been plagued by injuries and inconsistency, losing six of their first eight matchups en route to a 22-46-14 overall record. The historically temperamental owner did not hold back his opinions after their latest humiliating defeat, telling the New York Post that Prince Fielder "had better start hitting some fucking home runs already" before making several vicious personal attacks on the first baseman, calling him a "fatass," a "fat bastard," and a "fat fuck" in the course of one statement.
"I paid $38 for [Fielder], and this is what I get?" Mendicus said, directing reporters' attention to Fielder's "putrid" Yahoo! Game Log. "Twelve home runs. Twelve goddamn home runs. When you pay $38 for a guy, you had better give them a hell of a lot more than 12 home runs through the first half. I got you for your power, buddy, not your walks. This is a batting average league, anyway, not an on-base percentage league, so walks don't fucking matter. It's like these guys don't understand that."
Mendicus continued his heated rant, calling shortstop Felipe Lopez a "talentless hack whose multiple position eligibility is the only thing saving his ass from waivers," claiming that pitcher Ian Snell is "killing [him] in WHIP, absolutely killing [him]," and encouraging outfielder Brad Hawpe to "go eat shit." He then accused the whole team of not stealing enough bases and "not playing like true Beat With Uggla Sticks."
He did, however, reserve some praise for hot-hitting second baseman Dan Uggla upon learning that Uggla homered twice that day, saying, "That's you, Danny."
With his team already down 9-1 in this week's matchup against Gary Sheffield's Head Vein, Mendicus issued an ultimatum, claiming that unless his team delivers at least a tie, there will "be some changes around here." Mendicus said that "no one is safe," and had particularly strong words for pitcher Chris Young, who three weeks ago was hit in the face with a line drive and has not made a single start since.
"Toughen up, you little baby," Mendicus said. "You don't throw with your face, do you? I already got Phil [Hughes] in the DL slot, so you better get your ass back in action."
Mendicus has a reputation for following his players' performance with intense scrutiny and personal investment, often to a fanatical degree. It is rumored that he monitors their progress on multiple Yahoo! Sports box score windows on his computer screen, and will erupt into obscenity-laden tirades at work after a mere groundout or caught stealing.
"Fuck you Edwin, you good-for-nothing piece of shit," Mendicus was overheard as saying while angrily clicking the "Refresh" button on his web browser 14 times after pitcher Edwin Jackson loaded the bases with three straight walks. "Throw the ball over the goddamn plate. I need a win here, you idiot. I'm getting killed in wins."
For some players on Mendicus' team, the demand for instant results, the constant threats to be released or traded, and the nonstop verbal abuse is too much. Pitcher Jeremy Guthrie has been dropped and picked up by Mendicus seven times already this season, and he says he doesn't like playing under such volatile conditions.
"I wish he'd have a little faith in me," Guthrie said. "I don't like being picked up the night before my start and then simply dropped the next day. It wears on you as a player. And now I have to explain myself to my kids when they read in the papers that their daddy is a 'shit-for-brains asshole who can't even get five strikeouts when that's all we needed to win the category.'"
"I'm sorry, but when I have runners on first and third and one out, I'm going to go for the double play to get out of the inning, not the strikeout," Guthrie added. "Even though they don't give out 'points' for double plays."
Some players, however, praised Mendicus for his fiery attitude and desire to win, saying they prefer that to the kind of owners who treat their fantasy teams like nothing more than a fun distraction from their real jobs.
"It's good that he cares," said Beat With Uggla Stick catcher Jorge Posada. "Some owners, like Garrett Baldwin of the Smilin' Joe Randas, or Mike Broberg of Tiny Damon, they just sort of check in every once in a while to see how we're doing, but that's it. In fact, I've been on the Tiny Damon's bench since I went on the DL in April, and they don't even have anyone in the catcher slot. That's just shoddy ownership."
"But there's also a thing called caring too much," Posada added. "You can only be called a worthless shitbag after popping out so many times before it starts to sting. It's at the point where playing for Mendicus is almost as bad as playing for Hank Steinbrenner.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
K-Mad's work here is done (cont'd)
Padres designated LHP Wilfredo Ledezzzma for assignment. This means Cha-Seung Baek will stay in the rotation following Jake Peavy's return, probably on Thursday. Ledezma gets booted even though he had a 3.15 ERA in 20 innings as a reliever earlier this season. He wasn't very good in five starts, going 0-2 with a 5.66 ERA, but it's a surprise the Padres didn't just put him back in middle relief.
They would probably be calling him WINfredo by this point if K-Mad would just stop drafting him...
They would probably be calling him WINfredo by this point if K-Mad would just stop drafting him...
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
it's time to engineer a super-bee
Air Pollution Impedes Bees' Ability to Find Flowers
By Juliet Eilperin
Washington Post Staff Writer
Monday, May 5, 2008; A03
Air pollution interferes with the ability of bees and other insects to follow the scent of flowers to their source, undermining the essential process of pollination, a study by three University of Virginia researchers suggests.
Their findings may help unlock part of the mystery surrounding the current pollination crisis that is affecting a wide variety of crops. Scientists are seeking to determine why honeybees and bumblebees are dying off in the United States and in other countries, and the new study indicates that emissions from power plants and automobiles may play a part in the insects' demise.
Scientists already knew that scent-bearing hydrocarbon molecules released by flowers can be destroyed when they come into contact with ozone and other pollutants. Environmental sciences professor Jose D. Fuentes at the University of Virginia -- working with graduate students Quinn S. McFrederick and James C. Kathilankal -- used a mathematical model to determine how flowers' scents travel with the wind and how quickly they come into contact with pollutants that can destroy them. They described their results in the March issue of the journal Atmospheric Environment.
In the prevailing conditions before the 1800s, the researchers calculated that a flower's scent could travel between 3,280 feet and 4,000 feet, Fuentes said in an interview, but today, that scent might travel 650 feet to 1,000 feet in highly polluted areas such as the District of Columbia, Los Angeles or Houston.
<...>
Fuentes said scientists now have a more sophisticated understanding of the signals for which insects are searching, and that air pollution rapidly eliminates as much as 90 percent of flowers' aroma.
<...>
Most bees have poor eyesight, which makes scent particularly important, the researchers wrote.
Since 2006, honeybee colonies in the United States have been suffering from a widespread phenomenon known as colony collapse disorder (CCD) (that sounds SO k-mad...ed.), in which adult worker bees abandon an otherwise-healthy hive.
John P. Burand, an associate professor at the University of Massachusetts at Amherst who is studying bee colony collapses, said the effects of air pollution described in the new study are probably not directly related to that phenomenon. But, he added in an e-mail: "There is no doubt that air pollution and air quality is having an effect on bees and other pollinators. It appears there is more than one factor that is contributing to the CCD phenomenon we are seeing with bees, and certainly air pollution in some fashion may be playing a role."
<...>
By Juliet Eilperin
Washington Post Staff Writer
Monday, May 5, 2008; A03
Air pollution interferes with the ability of bees and other insects to follow the scent of flowers to their source, undermining the essential process of pollination, a study by three University of Virginia researchers suggests.
Their findings may help unlock part of the mystery surrounding the current pollination crisis that is affecting a wide variety of crops. Scientists are seeking to determine why honeybees and bumblebees are dying off in the United States and in other countries, and the new study indicates that emissions from power plants and automobiles may play a part in the insects' demise.
Scientists already knew that scent-bearing hydrocarbon molecules released by flowers can be destroyed when they come into contact with ozone and other pollutants. Environmental sciences professor Jose D. Fuentes at the University of Virginia -- working with graduate students Quinn S. McFrederick and James C. Kathilankal -- used a mathematical model to determine how flowers' scents travel with the wind and how quickly they come into contact with pollutants that can destroy them. They described their results in the March issue of the journal Atmospheric Environment.
In the prevailing conditions before the 1800s, the researchers calculated that a flower's scent could travel between 3,280 feet and 4,000 feet, Fuentes said in an interview, but today, that scent might travel 650 feet to 1,000 feet in highly polluted areas such as the District of Columbia, Los Angeles or Houston.
<...>
Fuentes said scientists now have a more sophisticated understanding of the signals for which insects are searching, and that air pollution rapidly eliminates as much as 90 percent of flowers' aroma.
<...>
Most bees have poor eyesight, which makes scent particularly important, the researchers wrote.
Since 2006, honeybee colonies in the United States have been suffering from a widespread phenomenon known as colony collapse disorder (CCD) (that sounds SO k-mad...ed.), in which adult worker bees abandon an otherwise-healthy hive.
John P. Burand, an associate professor at the University of Massachusetts at Amherst who is studying bee colony collapses, said the effects of air pollution described in the new study are probably not directly related to that phenomenon. But, he added in an e-mail: "There is no doubt that air pollution and air quality is having an effect on bees and other pollinators. It appears there is more than one factor that is contributing to the CCD phenomenon we are seeing with bees, and certainly air pollution in some fashion may be playing a role."
<...>
Monday, November 12, 2007
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
tonight's K-Mad killer...
| - M. Delcarmen relieved T. Wakefield |
| - J. Peralta homered to deep right, V. Martinez and A. Cabrera scored |
| - K. Lofton singled to center |
| - K. Lofton stole second |
| - C. Blake singled to center, K. Lofton scored |
| - F. Gutierrez walked, C. Blake to second |
| - K. Shoppach struck out swinging |
| - End of Inning (7 Runs, 7 Hits, 0 Errors) |
Friday, September 21, 2007
If only K-Mad played fantasy football...
...and you could draft defensive players. Look at some of the possibilities:
Visanthe Shiancoe-TE-Vikings
Hannibal Navies-LB-49ers
Adimchinobe Echemandu-RB-Raiders
Musa Smith-RB-Ravens
Ashton Youboty-DB-Bills
Pisa Tinoisamoa-LB-Rams
T.J. Houshmandzadeh-WR-Bengals
Ade Jimoh-DB-Bears
Visanthe Shiancoe-TE-Vikings
Hannibal Navies-LB-49ers
Adimchinobe Echemandu-RB-Raiders
Musa Smith-RB-Ravens
Ashton Youboty-DB-Bills
Pisa Tinoisamoa-LB-Rams
T.J. Houshmandzadeh-WR-Bengals
Ade Jimoh-DB-Bears
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
i hope K-Mad sees dis - definitely one for da Chix
Nationals purchased the contract of RHP Jonathan Albaladejo from Triple-A Columbus. The Pirates pretty much gave up on Albaladejo after last season, but after joining the Nats, he had a 2.97 ERA in 60 2/3 innings between Double- and Triple-A. The 6-foot-5, 260-pound right-hander is talented enough to become a big asset in middle relief.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Rotoworld should contact us to let them know whose careers will be destroyed by Decker & K-Mad
They both own dis poor guy...
Felix Hernandez was tagged for six runs and 13 hits in seven innings Wednesday in a loss to the Angels. That's a career high for hits allowed. Amazingly, the league is batting .286 against King Felix this season. It's simply remarkable that someone with his stuff can get hit so often. He's been a solid starter anyway, but he should be so much better.
Felix Hernandez was tagged for six runs and 13 hits in seven innings Wednesday in a loss to the Angels. That's a career high for hits allowed. Amazingly, the league is batting .286 against King Felix this season. It's simply remarkable that someone with his stuff can get hit so often. He's been a solid starter anyway, but he should be so much better.
Monday, August 6, 2007
Sunday, August 5, 2007
Shocking!
Manager Fredi Gonzalez acknowledged that Josh Johnson, who had surgery Tommy John surgery Friday to repair ligament damage in his elbow, would miss all of next season.
The ULTIMATE K-Madder?
I expect--no, *DEMAND!*--that K-Mad drafts him next week...
Mauro Zarate-S- Marlins Aug. 5
Marlins purchased the contract of RHP Mauro Zarate from Triple-A Albuquerque. He replaces Byung-Hyun Kim on Florida's pitching staff and will work out of the bullpen. The 24-year-old had a 1.66 ERA at three levels in the minors this year.
Even better, he replaces BH Kim...
Mauro Zarate-S- Marlins Aug. 5
Marlins purchased the contract of RHP Mauro Zarate from Triple-A Albuquerque. He replaces Byung-Hyun Kim on Florida's pitching staff and will work out of the bullpen. The 24-year-old had a 1.66 ERA at three levels in the minors this year.
Even better, he replaces BH Kim...
Friday, August 3, 2007
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Pathetic
The Cubs couldn't score ONE run off Antonio AlfonSUCKO, Joe Table, or J.C. "The Wild Thing" Romero, who couldn't find his ass with one hand, never mind two. At that point, the game should have been called with the Phillies declared the victors.
Oh yeah, Brett Myers: SUCKS. He appears terminally infected by the Decker-K-Mad Suckiest Suck That Ever Sucked Disease, which is incurable. Thanks a lot.
Oh yeah, Brett Myers: SUCKS. He appears terminally infected by the Decker-K-Mad Suckiest Suck That Ever Sucked Disease, which is incurable. Thanks a lot.
K-Mad finishes nailing the coffin...
Former first-round pick Kris Honel has told the White Sox that he is retiring.
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