This is probably nothing to worry about (cont'd)

Fewer Americans See Solid Evidence of Global Warming

There has been a sharp decline over the past year in the percentage of Americans who say there is solid evidence that global temperatures are rising. And fewer also see global warming as a very serious problem – 35% say that today, down from 44% in April 2008.

LoC Twitter outburst has Cholly talking in circles

"I definitely am not going to get away from him... We're going to work with him. And we're going to get him back to where he can get consistent and go out there and save games... I'm not saying he'll close tomorrow or the next day.... We're talking a real fine line... My gosh, this is quite a tasty squirrel..."

That's a Tasty Squirrel (cont'd)

Just how did the Brits get such a poor reputation for food...?

Saving a Squirrel by Eating One

RARE roast beef splashed with meaty jus, pork enrobed in luscious crackling fat, perhaps a juicy, plump chicken ... these are feasts that come to mind when one thinks of quintessential British food. Lately, however, a new meat is gracing the British table: squirrel.
Though squirrel has appeared occasionally in British cookery, history doesn’t deem it a dining favorite. Even during World War II and the period of austerity that followed, the Ministry of Food valiantly promoted the joys of squirrel soup and pie. British carnivores replied, “No, thank you.”
These days, however, in farmers’ markets, butcher shops, village pubs and elegant restaurants, squirrel is selling as fast as gamekeepers and hunters can bring it in.
“Part of the interest is curiosity and novelty,” said Barry Shaw of Shaw Meats, who sells squirrel meat at the Wirral Farmers Market near Liverpool. “It’s a great conversation starter for dinner parties.”
While some have difficulty with the cuteness versus deliciousness ratio — that adorable little face, those itty-bitty claws — many feel that eating squirrel is a way to do something good for the environment while enjoying a unique gastronomical experience....
~

quit making sweeping generalizations about rednecks

He's writing to the Economist, but he might as well be talking to the elitist effete snobs at LoC.

SIR - In America, the redneck is not as homogeneous as Bagehot presumes. In Sarah Palin's state of Alaska, there are only two species of tree squirrel. They are both classified as "fur" animals: one has a very minimal amount of meat and the other is nocturnal. Hunting for either, while legal, is non-existent. Consequently, if you did come across someone eating "squirrel gumbo" it would be a very rare occurrence indeed.

By the way, gumbo is a dish of the American South, and is thus less likely to be found on the table of an Alaskan redneck than bear bourguignon.

Mom not pleased wiff Uncle Cholly

Why does the stupid manager take Hamels out for the bullpen when he is
pitching a near perfect game?
Lidge did his best to lose it. How many has the bullpen lost for him
this year?
They still have 10 more games to win!

~

Mama Smiff doesn't believe in pitch counts...

"Why did Charlie Manuel take Cole Hamels out when he was pitching so well? Surely he could have gone one more inning to get to Brad Lidge. What a waste of good pitching. What bad managing. What a bunch of clod relievers."

Clod relievers led by terminal SUCKS sufferer Ryan Madson, who totally, totally SUCKED!
~

Bats and Balls: and dat's just the food

7:34 PM me: PUMMELING: my teams go 11-1 dis week
7:35 PM Kevin: same here - woulda been 12-0 if halladay hadn't gotten hammered and left the door open for aaa pitcher (waaaaahhh)
mmmmmmmm spam
actually i meant 8-1
7:36 PM cherries: monsters of the...
cherry... orchard
me: Tarrist Malicki endorses Obama's plan? Can we invade and overthrow him?
7:37 PM Kevin: it would restore america's faith in america if we could just mercilessly bomb the shit outta somebody for a few weeks in a consequence-free environment
me: Belgium? stinkin' fat bastards
7:38 PM Kevin: that would rock. they stole our beer and besides they're almost french
7:39 PM me: back in Monks' bullpen, Bierd dominates
Kevin: yeah but he has a funny name... sounds like a tarrist
BIERD - not american sounding
7:40 PM me: how about Randor?
Kevin: sounds like a hobbit
what is he, three-foot-eight?
me: KO reading LoC again? just showed a map of the middle east
Kevin: funny
7:41 PM me: also, story #4: Monks PUMMEL Crab Queens - i wuz shocked he brought that up - played game 3, in fact
7:42 PM Jeter hit a HR! about time, LOSER
Kevin: iran is also on the turkey-turkmenistan border, btw
7:43 PM me: turkwhattawhu?
Kevin: that is the capital
me: dat's a country? can we bomb them?
7:44 PM Kevin: wiff one hand tied behind our backs
7:45 PM me: Jonny Gomes got a hit!
also walked - ON FIRE
Kevin: 2B tomorrow for homunculi: WI@@Y vs maholm or ian stewart vs kershaw? datz almost too easy...stewart
stop drop and roll!
7:46 PM me: 12,428 tonight in Tampa to watch the AL East leaders...
7:48 PM Kevin: change mind - WI@@Y
tampa SUCKS - should never have gotten a team - FRAUDS
white elephant dome - deres somephin we can bomb (maybe while dickie v is in it)
7:49 PM me: go look at the Detroit box score for MORE MATT JOYCE DESTRUCTION
Kevin: SHIT's BLOWIN UP BAYBEEE
7:50 PM joyce - YOOOOGE
white sox - awful
7:51 PM cordero - annudder blown save - datz so CHIX
me: dough da Q goes yahd
7:52 PM Kevin: seff mcclung - 5 non-catastrophic innings
dough salomon torres blows da save, steals da win
7:54 PM cubs getting manhandled by randy johnson - puzzling
8:00 PM me: high gas prices? new McCain ad sez it's all Obama's fault
like everything else
8:01 PM and this just in: Phil Gramm is still a piece of shit
8:04 PM Matt Joyce: another hit: HOTTER THAN THE SUN
Kevin: and: he blew up
8:05 PM me: Tigers up 19-0...
8:06 PM Kevin: chix era tonight: 40.498
8:08 PM alex romer (who?) homers off harden
romero
8:09 PM rockies pitching shutting em down
8:11 PM me: sellout on da sout'side for a Shit Sox stinker - wuz it free brat night?
8:12 PM Kevin: coulda been run on da field and beat up da umpires night
me: speaking of which, Smiff has been reduced to meatless brats...
Kevin: whaaaaaaaaaaaa?
puzzling
8:14 PM me: sad
there wuz a sale
actually, not bad
Kevin: what would doug sohn say?
8:15 PM me: covered wiff mustard and onions, anyting is good (except broccoli)
Kevin: true
me: he would probably want to make a sausage out of me after force feeding and fattening me up even more...
8:16 PM nevertheless, the Monks destroyed da CQs anyway
Kevin: sounds delicious (nothing personal)
yes
8:17 PM me: of course, there isn't much of a liver left, so good luck wid dat one, doug
Kevin: dat wud teach him
me: and isn't Doug a stpuid-ass name, anyway?
STUPID-ASS ... Doug
8:18 PM LA has 16 runs in the 5th inning - how is Nomar (Fant!) involved?
Kevin: not at all?
8:20 PM ruh-roh:
7/21 Josh Johnson (Fla - SP) Add Free Agents Maddogs
8:21 PM guess dis wud be a bad time to tell him dat josh j might be a prairie chicken by dis time tomorrow?
me: NOMAR: DNP - i am SHOCKED - probably injured himself by breathing
Kevin: dat can be dangerous
8:22 PM me: sucked in some dust...sneezed...strained his back
8:23 PM Kevin: eyeballs popped out... rolled under desk... bumped head searching for eyeballs...
me: Dat's it!
8:24 PM do you have Valverde? stinkin' up da joint
Kevin: why, yes!
me: TWO BALLS OVER THE FENCE (not his)
8:25 PM Kevin: perfect complement to cordero's self-immolation tonight
crispy, crackly... mmmmm something smells good
me: dat's da brats
Kevin: no dis is unmistakably meaty
8:28 PM great episode of Nature last night about how da grizzlies are TOTALLY PHOKKED
annudder species doomed to extinction -- who woulda guessed?
8:29 PM lots of people dough - we can eat each udder when da animals are gone
me: YAY!
Kevin: i'm starting wif francisco "crispy crackly" cordero
8:30 PM 6-3 240 - dat would last like phree weeks
me: how about the CEO of Freddie Mac? made 20 million last year despite being a total phokking failure
8:31 PM Kevin: well he had to rise pretty high to fail that spectacularly... not for amateurs
he'd be delicious in a lemon cream sauce
me: Valverde: anudder run (dat's 4)
how about him for afters?
8:32 PM a little ketchup...
Kevin: delightful
wif a few french fries?
me: yes
woops, he's outta the game
still, 2 more runs could be charged
8:33 PM Kevin: micah owings (smelts, end times) on for d-bax
me: MANY runs about to score
Kevin: was sposed to start tomorrow - puzzling
me: rubber arm
and brain
8:34 PM Kevin: i would like to have da rubber brain
is it available as an implant?
me: don't yas already got one?
Kevin: cant remember - mebbe
8:36 PM me: FUNNY:
8:37 PM Last Play: F. Sanchez hit an inside the park home run to deep right, J. Michaels and J. Wilson scored
six runs for Jose...
8:38 PM Kevin: if he sucked any more, his head would implode
8:39 PM chix era tonight: 81.00
me: BOOM SPLAT
Kevin: batting avg: .117
me: that's like Crab Queens bad
8:40 PM Kevin: is it possible for their era to catch up to their ba?
me: yes
Kevin: chan ho hasn't pitched yet
he can do it
taylor buchholz
8:41 PM hong-chih... yikes... 81.000 era on the night and one-third of my staff is in coors on a night with a broken humidor and the wind blowing out
and hasnt pitched yet
sweet lord
theoretically a baseball game could go on forever
me: what's the league record?
8:44 PM Kevin: a 7-run 9th - that's SO CHIX
8:47 PM me: anypfing the Cherries should get from McCluskey?
8:48 PM Kevin: nutsack?
me: wow, his team SUX
Kevin: phokk yeah
da Q?
dont need da Q
8:49 PM me: huh, we don't?
Kevin: grandy scott thames joyce gomesy - rock solid
'sides da Q had two good momfs...datz it
8:50 PM he gone
me: thames playing first
someone DHs
Gomes SUX
8:51 PM i think we could fit him in, though i don't think he would want to trade him
Kevin: yeah if he is phinking long-term, he prollaby wants to keep him
8:53 PM me: he doesn't have any vets doing anything
Kevin: yep
not even a shiny dangly object in the bullpen
8:54 PM me: Morrow
should move him if he isn't going to start
8:55 PM Kevin: our bullpen could use a little somefin
8:56 PM me: SP too, since we're one injury away from being totally phokked
8:58 PM Kevin: cubs shut down by chad phokking qualls
8:59 PM me: it's sad, puzzling, CQian
9:02 PM the bizarre foods guy is eating pig's testicles...
9:03 PM now a beating frog's heart...not bad!
9:04 PM sake garnished with a lizard...
Kevin: whatever they're paying him, its not enough, and yet, its too much
9:06 PM me: giant snails...
Kevin: tiny snails arent disgusting enough?
lemme guess - next they'll take an ordinary duck liver and make it grotesquely YOOOOOOOGE...
9:09 PM chix era vs ba smackdown is at 81.000 vs. .111
9:10 PM me: converging...
no duck liver, but he did mention monkfish livers in passing
9:13 PM Kevin: i give up... bedtime
9:14 PM me: wait... live turtles!
Kevin: with the shell?
i have a better idea -- feed that phokk to some hungry grizzlies on live tv - i would watch
9:15 PM dat wud be awesome
me: dat would be pretty cool
so far...it's a dead turtle
9:16 PM it's called Suppan (insert own joke here)
Kevin: if he could take a crap in da lake and show a live turtle swimming away, dat would be interesting
9:17 PM me: next: every part of the chicken!
9:18 PM rooster balls...
not good, apparently
Kevin: that is surprising
9:19 PM me: coming up: happy cows make tasty beef!
9:24 PM they get a massage
every morning
they run free!
are fed beer
9:25 PM Kevin: thats a nice story
and delicious
me: "Melts in your mouth like foie gras"!
9:26 PM Kevin: of course it does
me: now in Bangkok
birds' nest soup
9:27 PM Kevin: baby chix?
me: a box of 12 nests? $1000
9:28 PM the soup also has frog's ovaries - that's good eating right there!!
Kevin: yeah you really need that... i gots a real frog ovary deficit in my diet
me: frought so
9:29 PM good lord does it look disgusting
Kevin: puzzling
making me hungry so i better go
me: ant larvae...
more frog parts
9:30 PM Kevin: maybe i can find one in the yard
me: giant water bugs, grasshoppers, crickets...
9:31 PM tadpoles! mmmmmmm
whole frog on a stick
9:32 PM Kevin: alive?
me: sorry, cooked
Kevin: couldnt it have survived?
9:34 PM me: off to Changmai for the nastiest of all
what could it be - monkey brainz?
9:35 PM Kevin: mebbe... i been to chang mai, got drunk at da smiling monkey
9:36 PM me: you drank a live monkey?
9:37 PM Kevin: http://www.chiangmai-online.com/smonkey/
yes, and it rained
me: KUO IS IN!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
Kevin: sweet lord
9:38 PM me: Podzzzie singles - man, dis is gonna be good
9:39 PM grilled intestines
bug salads
9:40 PM Kevin: kuo?
me: yeah
"variety of organs" sausage
9:41 PM Spirulina algae - yum!
Kevin: buchholz - not pummeled
9:42 PM me: Iannetta doubles...
9:44 PM what's for dinner?
Fruit bats!
Kevin: yum!
me: a treat!
9:45 PM stir-fried...
9:46 PM "It's some really good bat"!
Kevin: flying rodent...mmmm...
me: also funny: Tulo singles, 2 runs
Kevin: so den... yay
bedtime
9:47 PM me: nope, Hawpe did dat
Kevin: i look forward to reading of the savage, inhumane pummeling in the morning
good morning!
me: quitter
Kevin: good night...
yes
me: dat's sad
and Stewart is up, your boy
9:53 PM me: fermented shrimp paste...
9:54 PM MUTTON!
9:56 PM coagulated blood cake
9:57 PM durian: the smelliest and apparently awfulest tasting fruit in the world

brain-dead right-wing s#i+-eating troglodyte homunculi in the news (cont'd)

NEW YORK - Radio talk show host Michael Savage, who described 99 percent of children with autism as brats, said Monday he was trying to "boldly awaken" parents to his view that many people are being wrongly diagnosed.

Some parents of autistic children have called for Savage's firing after he described autism as a racket last week. "In 99 percent of the cases, it's a brat who hasn't been told to cut the act out," Savage said on his radio program last Wednesday. "Daing, that's a tasty squirrel," he added.

Savage offered no apology in a message posted Monday on his Web site. He said greedy doctors and drug companies were creating a "national panic" by overdiagnosing autism, a mental disorder that inhibits a person's ability to communicate.

On his radio show last week, he said: "What do you mean they scream and they're silent? They don't have a father around to tell them, `Don't act like a moron. You'll get nowhere in life. Stop acting like a putz. Straighten up. Act like a man. Don't sit there crying and screaming, you idiot.'"

will it come with a free donut?

Trib buries news in redesign test
Crain's, July 21, 2008

The new face of the Chicago Tribune is taking shape, as staffers at the newspaper put the finishing touches on a prototype set for a test run in the next few weeks.

Crain's has learned that Tribune Co. will try out some dramatic changes in the 161-year-old broadsheet in a Saturday edition by early August. A version under consideration devotes the paper's front section to consumer-oriented and entertainment features. Local, national, international and business news is consolidated in the second section. Weather leads the third section, which also includes comics and classifieds, while the sports section is converted to a tabloid format.

It's not clear how many of these changes will make it into the final version of the prototype, which a spokesman calls a "work in progress." But aspects of the prototype that prove popular with readers are likely to find their way into a full-scale redesign of all editions of the paper, which Tribune expects to debut by September.

Phillies, Squirrels Crush Cardinals

ST. LOUIS (AP) -- Three big swings from Chase Utley, Ryan Howard and Pat Burrell set the tone. Then the rest of the Philadelphia Phillies joined in the fun.

Utley, Howard and Burrell homered in successive at-bats in the first inning and the Phillies had a season-high 21 hits in a 20-2 rout of the St. Louis Cardinals on Friday night.

"I think that definitely got us going, yeah," manager Charlie Manuel said. "If that don't get you going, I don't guess nothing will. Well, except for my wife's crunchy baked squirrel. Dangummit, that's some tasty squirrel."

No amount of evidence would suffice to satisfy a brain-dead nation so why bother?, or, his middle name is Hussein by the way (or is it???)

Oh yeah, one other thing... this whole country of troglodyte phokks can go phokk dereselves. Sometimes it's not funny anymore. Oh yeah, I ain't putting the National Review link in neither... Dey can go phokk dereselves espatially...

Rumors to Rest
By Tobin Harshaw

Good advice from the enemy? Jim Geraghty of National Review’s Campaign Spot blog thinks Barack Obama would be wise to release his birth certificate, thus quelling “unlikely” rumors circulating on the right side of the Web.

Rumor one: Obama was born in Kenya. Rather unlikely, as it would require everyone in his family to lie about this in every interview and discussion with those outside the family since young Obama appeared on the scene. However, if it were true, it would probably raise a major question of “does he qualify as a natural-born citizen”? If Obama were born outside the United States, one could argue that he would not meet the legal definition of natural-born citizen under because U.S. law at the time of his birth required his natural-born parent (his mother) to have resided in the United States for “ten years, at least [five] of which had to be after the age of 16.”

Ann Dunham was 18 when Obama was born – so she wouldn’t have met the requirement of five years after the age of 16.

(Interestingly, apparently there isn’t much paperwork on Obama’s parents’ marriage. Obama: From Promise to Power, page. 27: “Obama later confessed that he never searched for the government documents on the marriage, although Madelyn (Obama’s maternal grandmother) insisted they were legally married.” Also note that Obama’s father apparently was not legally divorced from his first wife back in Kenya at the time, a point of contention that ultimately led to their separation.)

Rumor Two: Obama’s middle name is not “Hussein” but “Muhammad.”

As Politifact notes, all available public records going back to 1991 refer to the candidate as “Barack H. Obama.”

It is theoretically possible, if not plausible, that Obama changed his name at some earlier point in his life, as he was sorting out his issues of culture and identity. But this would mean that Obama recognized how emotionally-charged the name “Muhammad” would become in American life long before the 9/11 attacks. And if you’re going to change your middle name from that of the central figure in Islam because you fear controversy, picking the last name of the highest-profile anti-American dictator in the Middle East (Saddam) doesn’t seem like a huge improvement.

Rumor Three: His mother did not want to name him after his father, and his birth certificate says “Barry.” Perhaps the most plausible of the rumors, as Obama was known by that name through much of his childhood and young adulthood. If true, this would spur a new round of “When Barry Became Barack” stories – a minor headache for the campaign, but hardly a major scandal.

Ohio: Land of Morans (cont'd)

Diploma typo gives Ohio graduates proof of their 'educaiton'

WESTLAKE, Ohio - A Cleveland-area principal says he's embarrassed his students got proof of their "educaiton" on their high school diplomas.

Westlake High School officials misspelled "education" on the diplomas distributed last weekend. It's been the subject of mockery on local radio.

Principal Timothy Freeman says he sent back the diplomas once to correct another error. When the diplomas came back, no one bothered to check things they thought were right the first time. (woops!... ed.)

whitey is on to your s#i+ Osama

Don't anger the squirrel...

Jimmy Rollins confirmed after Thursday's game that he was benched for not running out a popup. "He’s the manager and that’s what he had to do," Rollins said. "He has two rules: Be on time and hustle. I broke one today. It’s my fault. I can’t be mad at him." Charlie Manuel, with a mouthful of squirrel jerky, didn't comment after the game, but it seems likely that Rollins will be back in there on Friday.

who's in?

The Race for a Million is on!
You could be the next $100,000 winner and million-dollar grand prize contender.

and if you believe Zogby, Kerry is running for his second term

Obama leads McCain in November match: Reuters poll

McCain led among whites, NASCAR fans, and elderly voters. McCain led with voters who believed the United States was on the right track...

Mad Squirrel Disease?

MUNFORDVILLE, Ky. — To many white voters, race still matters

Terry Jordan, 47, who runs a year-round garage sale in front of an old filling station on Main Street, put it simply: "It's his color."

"Right now it's not that Hillary attracts the white vote," said Jack Bunnell, 79. "It's that Obama's black."

Few will express any particular dislike of black people, he said, but asking them to vote for a black man for president is simply too much of a leap: "They just aren't ready for it."

"I believe that he's a Muslim," said Susan Horton, 56 and white. She leaves her living room whenever Obama comes on the television. "I think that if he gets into office, there's going to be another bombing."

"He's not patriotic," said Brandy Trulock, a 21-year-old mother of two. "If you can't salute the American flag, I don't think you should be allowed to run for president."

public health warning

Squirrel Brains May Be Unsafe

Two Kentucky doctors last month reported a possible link between eating squirrel brains and the rare and deadly human variety of mad-cow disease...

"There's no way I can undo what I've done. But I certainly enjoyed eating them..."

Cooked squirrel brain is about the size of a pingpong ball and is said to taste something like liver, only kind of mushy...

slide to global backwater status accelerates (cont'd)

Creationism Persists in American Science Classrooms
Chronicle of Higher Education
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
By RICHARD MONASTERSKY

A significant fraction of high-school biology teachers acknowledge teaching some form of creationism, according to the first large national survey to probe how that issue is handled inside American classrooms. At the same time, teachers with the most college-level biology credits were likely to spend the most time teaching evolution, indicating that college training shapes the way teachers treat this cornerstone of scientific thought.

One in eight teachers said they taught creationism as a "valid scientific alternative to Darwinian explanations for the origin of species," reports a team led by Michael B. Berkman, a professor of political science at Pennsylvania State University at University Park. The survey results, published in the journal PLoS Biology on Monday, also reveal that one in six biology teachers believe that "God created human beings pretty much in their present form at one time within the last 10,000 years or so."
...

The Penn State researchers surveyed 939 high-school biology teachers who were randomly selected from a list that includes most of the biology teachers in the country. They found that treatment of evolution varies widely: Some 38 percent of teachers devote more than 11 hours to the subject, while 11 percent provide less than 2 hours for the topic, if they cover it at all.

A quarter of teachers said they discussed creationism or intelligent design for at least an hour, but nearly half apparently bring it up to criticize it, say the survey authors. Some 40 percent of the teachers who raise the topic of creationism say that when they talk about it, they describe it as a valid religious perspective that is inappropriate for a science class.
...

Randy Moore, a professor of biology at the University of Minnesota-Twin Cities, has conducted his own surveys of high-school biology teachers and also of college students, to see what they learned in high-school biology classes. His findings and those of other researchers suggest that 15 percent to 30 percent of biology teachers are teaching creationism, which federal courts have deemed a violation of the First Amendment of the U.S. Constitution. In a study published in The American Biology Teacher in February, Mr. Moore found that 27 percent of the 1,465 college freshmen he surveyed had encountered creationism in a high-school biology class. A previous study found that 15 percent of biology teachers do not accept evolution as scientifically valid.

wouldn't a simple plague of locusts be more traditional?

One experienced, credible activist in Christian politics who would not let his name be used told me Huckabee in personal conversation with him embraced the concept that an Obama presidency might be what the American people deserve. That fits what has largely been a fringe position among evangelicals, that the pain of an Obama presidency is in keeping with the Bible's prophecy.

According to this activist, at the heart of the let-Obama-win movement is longtime Virginia conservative leader Michael Farris -- the nation's leading home-school advocate, who is now chancellor of Patrick Henry College (in Purcellville, Va.) for home-schooled students. Farris is regarded as one of the hardest-edged Christian politicians. He is reported in evangelical circles to promote the biblical justification for an Obama plague-like presidency.
-- The Asshole Bob Novak

This just in: there is a college for home-schooled children run by an evangelical Christian who advocates an Obama presidency as the plague America needs and deserves, in case you've been wondering where tomorrow's leaders are coming from.