Cubs Make Carlos Zambrano Available
Aramis Ramirez, Alfonso Soriano, Kosuke Fukudome, etc. and their AWFUL contracts are also probably very available. Call Jimbo at Pizza Hut...
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Showing posts with label how to flush money down the terlet. Show all posts
Showing posts with label how to flush money down the terlet. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Alexi the boy-genius
April 22, 2208: Morningstar, Inc. named Illinois’ Bright Start College Savings Program on April 16 one of the top five college savings plans in the nation... After taking office, Illinois Treasurer Alexi Giannoulias, above, overhauled Bright Start, selecting OppenheimerFunds Inc., through a competitive bid, to manage the program, starting last July. Oppenheimer made it among the lowest-cost programs in the nation, and offered investment options that gained a higher return rate.
Woops!
Decemeber 22, 2009: The state of Illinois has reached a settlement in its lawsuit over losses in the Bright Start college savings program under which parents will get back $77.23 million — slightly more than half of what they lost in investments handled by Oppenheimer Funds Inc.
Woops!
Decemeber 22, 2009: The state of Illinois has reached a settlement in its lawsuit over losses in the Bright Start college savings program under which parents will get back $77.23 million — slightly more than half of what they lost in investments handled by Oppenheimer Funds Inc.
Friday, December 18, 2009
Monday, September 14, 2009
But you can't put a price tag on the rewards
News item: Bears rank fourth in NFL with an average ticket price of $88.33.
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Monday, August 10, 2009
Did Kill Kenny rob a bank? A very large bank, with say at least $60 million in it?
White Sox claimed outfielder Alex Rios off waivers from the Blue Jays.
Rios, 28, is expected to join the White Sox Tuesday in Seattle. He'll bring a .264/.317/.427 batting line, 14 home runs, 62 RBI and a long-term contract worth over $60 million. The outfielder will have to battle for playing time in Chicago this season. But if the club lets impending free agent Jermaine Dye walk this winter, Rios could be the everyday right fielder in 2010.
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Rios, 28, is expected to join the White Sox Tuesday in Seattle. He'll bring a .264/.317/.427 batting line, 14 home runs, 62 RBI and a long-term contract worth over $60 million. The outfielder will have to battle for playing time in Chicago this season. But if the club lets impending free agent Jermaine Dye walk this winter, Rios could be the everyday right fielder in 2010.
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Wednesday, June 3, 2009
MORE PIZZA FOR JIMBO!
Tue, Jun 2
Milton Bradley left Tuesday's game with a right calf strain, the team's official site reports.
Recommendation: Reed Johnson replaced Bradley in the field for the fourth inning. He's struggled to produce around nagging injuries this season, and it's only Year 1 of the three-year, $30 million deal that Jim Hendry gave him over the winter.
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Milton Bradley left Tuesday's game with a right calf strain, the team's official site reports.
Recommendation: Reed Johnson replaced Bradley in the field for the fourth inning. He's struggled to produce around nagging injuries this season, and it's only Year 1 of the three-year, $30 million deal that Jim Hendry gave him over the winter.
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Thursday, April 23, 2009
It's been a great signing, so far...
Milton Bradley is not in the Cubs' starting lineup on Thursday.
He returned to action on Wednesday night, but went 0-for-4 with three strikeouts, and manager Lou Piniella has now told him he won't start until he's 100 percent. Furthermore, when he does return, he's expected to bat sixth instead of fourth. Micah Hoffpauir, starting in right field on Thursday, will get the majority of playing time until Bradley is ready.
So between "not being 100 percent," suspensions and the weather (blame Skilly!), M-Brad might be looking at 100 games played this year. Still, he is great in the clubhouse.
In related "What is Hendry smoking?" news, Luis Vizcaino (ERA 0.00) and his $3.6 million* salary have been released and Jeff Samardzija has been recalled. I must have missed what Samardzija has done other than walking a lot of guys?
*Make that $4.6 million since Pizza Man gave Colorado $1 million to take the mistake that was Jason Marquis off his hands.
Dontcha wish you just had millions of dollars to piss away hoping something might stick?
He returned to action on Wednesday night, but went 0-for-4 with three strikeouts, and manager Lou Piniella has now told him he won't start until he's 100 percent. Furthermore, when he does return, he's expected to bat sixth instead of fourth. Micah Hoffpauir, starting in right field on Thursday, will get the majority of playing time until Bradley is ready.
So between "not being 100 percent," suspensions and the weather (blame Skilly!), M-Brad might be looking at 100 games played this year. Still, he is great in the clubhouse.
In related "What is Hendry smoking?" news, Luis Vizcaino (ERA 0.00) and his $3.6 million* salary have been released and Jeff Samardzija has been recalled. I must have missed what Samardzija has done other than walking a lot of guys?
*Make that $4.6 million since Pizza Man gave Colorado $1 million to take the mistake that was Jason Marquis off his hands.
Dontcha wish you just had millions of dollars to piss away hoping something might stick?
Friday, January 30, 2009
Blago: the gift that keeps on taking
Thirty-two blue Blagojevich signs were erected in 2004 at a cost of $480,000. They read: "Open Road Tolling --- Rod R. Blagojevich Governor." It will cost an estimated $15,000 apiece to change them.
Which reminds me - with Blago, Big Time, and the Rezzzidunce out of the way, is it time to turn our rage on Little Todd Stroger?
Which reminds me - with Blago, Big Time, and the Rezzzidunce out of the way, is it time to turn our rage on Little Todd Stroger?
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Is this the last phokking plane ride we have to pay for?
Happening today
• Now: Governor flying to Springfield
Maybe our next gubnor will discover that the gubnor has, like, an office and s#i+... right there in the phokking capital...
• Now: Governor flying to Springfield
Maybe our next gubnor will discover that the gubnor has, like, an office and s#i+... right there in the phokking capital...
Friday, January 16, 2009
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
How to flush $12 million down the terlet...
Warriors president Robert Rowell said recently that Don Nelson's job as head coach is secure.
"No, I've not given [Nelson's job performance] an ounce of thought," Rowell said. "Nellie's a great coach." This isn't surprising, considering Rowell gave "No Title" Nellie a two-year, $12 million extension this past offseason.
$6 million a year for a coach who has never won anything? I tells ya, Smiff could coach this team to a 10-26 record for just $1 million a year.
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"No, I've not given [Nelson's job performance] an ounce of thought," Rowell said. "Nellie's a great coach." This isn't surprising, considering Rowell gave "No Title" Nellie a two-year, $12 million extension this past offseason.
$6 million a year for a coach who has never won anything? I tells ya, Smiff could coach this team to a 10-26 record for just $1 million a year.
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Monday, December 22, 2008
you don't have to get drunk and sit outside in zero degrees for four hours watching the Bears suck to develop numbness in the upper extremity
Early Miscalculations
On the eve of the invasion, as it began to dawn on a few officials that the price for rebuilding Iraq would be vastly greater than they had been told, the degree of miscalculation was illustrated in an encounter between Donald H. Rumsfeld, then the defense secretary, and Jay Garner, a retired lieutenant general who had hastily been named the chief of what would be a short-lived civilian authority called the Office of Reconstruction and Humanitarian Assistance.
The history records how Mr. Garner presented Mr. Rumsfeld with several rebuilding plans, including one that would include projects across Iraq.
“What do you think that’ll cost?” Mr. Rumsfeld asked of the more expansive plan.
“I think it’s going to cost billions of dollars,” Mr. Garner said.
“My friend,” Mr. Rumsfeld replied, “if you think we’re going to spend a billion dollars of our money over there, you are sadly mistaken.”
On the eve of the invasion, as it began to dawn on a few officials that the price for rebuilding Iraq would be vastly greater than they had been told, the degree of miscalculation was illustrated in an encounter between Donald H. Rumsfeld, then the defense secretary, and Jay Garner, a retired lieutenant general who had hastily been named the chief of what would be a short-lived civilian authority called the Office of Reconstruction and Humanitarian Assistance.
The history records how Mr. Garner presented Mr. Rumsfeld with several rebuilding plans, including one that would include projects across Iraq.
“What do you think that’ll cost?” Mr. Rumsfeld asked of the more expansive plan.
“I think it’s going to cost billions of dollars,” Mr. Garner said.
“My friend,” Mr. Rumsfeld replied, “if you think we’re going to spend a billion dollars of our money over there, you are sadly mistaken.”
Sunday, December 21, 2008
not to pick on an easy target...
but Andy Rooney is colossally, titanically, flamboyantly brain-dead. And he stole the Sears-Roebuck joke from George Carlin. Here's an observation: most of the crap in holiday catalogs is s#i+ that would never interest you in a meeelllion years. The difference between my observation and Andy Rooney's is that I didn't make five figures over two minutes making it.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
How to Flush MEEEEEEEllions Down da Terlet
Wouldn't trust him to take the garbage to the curb:
SI.com's Jon Heyman believes the Mets and free agent Oliver Perez are too far apart in negotiations for a deal to be reached. Heyman lists the Brewers, Dodgers, Reds and perhaps the Mariners as potential suitors for Perez. He's believed to want $14 million per season for five years.
Half of the 5 years will be spent on the D.L.:
Yankees signed RHP A.J. Burnett, who had been with the Blue Jays, to a five-year, $82.5 million contract. The Yanks announcing a big contract six days after it was agreed to is actually pretty good for them. Most players have to wait weeks. The details of Burnett's deal still aren't known, such as the annual salary breakdown and what kind of no-trade protection he received. He will average $16.5 million per season, which is a nice raise from the $12 million per year that he would have earned in the final two seasons of his contract with the Jays.
Didn't he like totally suck last year:
According to SI.com's Jon Heyman's, Andy "Pettitte's people apparently are telling folks he has a $36 million, three-year offer" from an unnamed team. A rather odd line. Pettitte's "people" are the Hendricks brothers, unless Heyman is using the word to refer a group other than his agents, and they haven't gone public with much of anything regarding the Pettitte negotiations. This could be nothing more than an attempt to get the Yankees to boost their offer. Pettitte wants to stay in New York, and he hasn't gone looking for a multiyear deal since leaving Houston.
And the coup de grâce, the drunk, gutless, neverwuz... Royals GM Dayton Moore must have reached this decison thusly: "Hmmm, I've heard of him...he's still in major league baseball, right?...a proven veteran...sold!"
Royals agreed to terms with RHP Kyle Farnsworth, who had been with the Tigers, on a two-year, $9.25 million contract with a club option for 2011. We'll be generous and say Farnsworth is just as good of a bet as Ramon Ramirez for next year, even though Ramirez was the far better pitcher last season. That would essentially mean that the Royals are paying $9.25 million for Coco Crisp. After all, Ramirez was going to make about $500,000, while Crisp comes in at $5.5 million. Farnsworth will get $4.25 million next year and $4.5 million in 2010. There's a $5.25 million option for 2011 with a $500,000 buyout. It's a ridiculous sum for a small-market team to be spending on a reliever who has graded out as below average each of the last three seasons.
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SI.com's Jon Heyman believes the Mets and free agent Oliver Perez are too far apart in negotiations for a deal to be reached. Heyman lists the Brewers, Dodgers, Reds and perhaps the Mariners as potential suitors for Perez. He's believed to want $14 million per season for five years.
Half of the 5 years will be spent on the D.L.:
Yankees signed RHP A.J. Burnett, who had been with the Blue Jays, to a five-year, $82.5 million contract. The Yanks announcing a big contract six days after it was agreed to is actually pretty good for them. Most players have to wait weeks. The details of Burnett's deal still aren't known, such as the annual salary breakdown and what kind of no-trade protection he received. He will average $16.5 million per season, which is a nice raise from the $12 million per year that he would have earned in the final two seasons of his contract with the Jays.
Didn't he like totally suck last year:
According to SI.com's Jon Heyman's, Andy "Pettitte's people apparently are telling folks he has a $36 million, three-year offer" from an unnamed team. A rather odd line. Pettitte's "people" are the Hendricks brothers, unless Heyman is using the word to refer a group other than his agents, and they haven't gone public with much of anything regarding the Pettitte negotiations. This could be nothing more than an attempt to get the Yankees to boost their offer. Pettitte wants to stay in New York, and he hasn't gone looking for a multiyear deal since leaving Houston.
And the coup de grâce, the drunk, gutless, neverwuz... Royals GM Dayton Moore must have reached this decison thusly: "Hmmm, I've heard of him...he's still in major league baseball, right?...a proven veteran...sold!"
Royals agreed to terms with RHP Kyle Farnsworth, who had been with the Tigers, on a two-year, $9.25 million contract with a club option for 2011. We'll be generous and say Farnsworth is just as good of a bet as Ramon Ramirez for next year, even though Ramirez was the far better pitcher last season. That would essentially mean that the Royals are paying $9.25 million for Coco Crisp. After all, Ramirez was going to make about $500,000, while Crisp comes in at $5.5 million. Farnsworth will get $4.25 million next year and $4.5 million in 2010. There's a $5.25 million option for 2011 with a $500,000 buyout. It's a ridiculous sum for a small-market team to be spending on a reliever who has graded out as below average each of the last three seasons.
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Thursday, October 30, 2008
Friday, October 3, 2008
Saturday, August 30, 2008
With each player move, Asstros GM Ed Wade solidifies his status as the most idiotic GM in baseball (non-Brian Sabean Division)
Astros signed RHP Brian Moehler to a one-year, $2.3 million contract extension with a mutual option for 2010.
Moehler has been the Astros' biggest surprise this year, somehow managing to maintain an ERA under 4.00 two years after amassing a 6.57 ERA as a starter for the Marlins. That he's turning 37 in December and has an abysmal strikeout rate doesn't bode well for his chances of keeping it up in 2009. He'll probably be penciled into the rotation, but it'd be no surprise to see him off the roster by Memorial Day.
Astros signed outfielder Darin Erstad to a one-year, $1.75 million contract extension for 2009.
The Astros remain very much content with mediocrity. Because he's a left-handed hitter backing up a left-handed hitter, Erstad wasn't a great fit for the Astros in the first place. He's actually done a pretty good job, posting a .293/.325/.384 line in 263 at-bats. However, he's no longer a basestealer, he's lost a little something on defense and there's little chance his power is coming back.
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Moehler has been the Astros' biggest surprise this year, somehow managing to maintain an ERA under 4.00 two years after amassing a 6.57 ERA as a starter for the Marlins. That he's turning 37 in December and has an abysmal strikeout rate doesn't bode well for his chances of keeping it up in 2009. He'll probably be penciled into the rotation, but it'd be no surprise to see him off the roster by Memorial Day.
Astros signed outfielder Darin Erstad to a one-year, $1.75 million contract extension for 2009.
The Astros remain very much content with mediocrity. Because he's a left-handed hitter backing up a left-handed hitter, Erstad wasn't a great fit for the Astros in the first place. He's actually done a pretty good job, posting a .293/.325/.384 line in 263 at-bats. However, he's no longer a basestealer, he's lost a little something on defense and there's little chance his power is coming back.
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