News Headline: "Beef industry searchers for solutions after 'pink slime' uproar."
News Headline: "What if it weren't called pink slime?"
Too late for that. It is irrevocably called pink slime.
The question now is: How do we get Americans to eat pink slime?"
The answer?
Call it Artisan Pink Slime.
~
Showing posts with label Scum-Slimes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Scum-Slimes. Show all posts
Saturday, May 19, 2012
Friday, November 14, 2008
dis figgers
Bring back QT
I have missed QT for the past several days and now find that the column has been discontinued.
QT was one of the highlights of my morning read, and it is inconceivable that your readership will let this pass without comment.
Bring back this wonderful feature!
Kathryn Vanden Berk,
Highland Park
Answer in the print edition: "Thanks for writing."*
*Now go phokk yourself
I have missed QT for the past several days and now find that the column has been discontinued.
QT was one of the highlights of my morning read, and it is inconceivable that your readership will let this pass without comment.
Bring back this wonderful feature!
Kathryn Vanden Berk,
Highland Park
Answer in the print edition: "Thanks for writing."*
*Now go phokk yourself
Thursday, November 6, 2008
yet annudder outrage
Today's QT is online only. We wouldn't want to take space away from the people. People like Gregg the Brain-Dead @ss#ole:
A national disgrace
With the election of a Marxist as president of the United States, I am sad to say that for the first time in my adult lifetime, I'm really ashamed of my country.
A national disgrace
With the election of a Marxist as president of the United States, I am sad to say that for the first time in my adult lifetime, I'm really ashamed of my country.
Friday, October 17, 2008
It's Spreading
Scum-Slimes: "Barack Obama should be the next president of the United States of America."
Friday, September 26, 2008
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Scum-Slimes tackles the tough questions (cont'd)
Page one, above the masthead:
WHAT A SPECTACLE
ALL EYES ON SARA PALIN'S UNIQUE GLASSES
Vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin made all kinds of political statements during her convention speech, but the fashion statement she made with her glasses is what intrigued eyewear professionals.
Italee Optics of Los Angeles has increased its imports of the frames in response to Palin's appearance, a company manager said.
"We were just talking about that,'" said Judy Sulier, an optician at Pinnacle Eye Group in Bedford Township, Ohio. "I was going to go online to pull it up and see what... (zzzzzzzzz... What? Oh... sorry Ed.)
Palin, the governor of Alaska, wears customized glasses and frames from Japanese designer Kazuo Kawasaki.
The high-end eyewear -- the prices start at $600 -- are frameless and allow the customer to choose from a nearly limitless variety of lens shapes.
Shop owner Georgeann Kohn in Toledo, Ohio, said she had received "just a couple inquiries" from... What what whaaaaaa? Back up a second there...
Start at $600? More than John Edwards's haircut? More than John McCain's phokking Salvatore Ferragamo 'Pregiato' Phokking Moccasins for phokk's sake? That's hockey mom folksy? My phokking @SS.
Top story on the SS website is far more hard-hitting:
Ten fittest, least fit presidents
WHAT A SPECTACLE
ALL EYES ON SARA PALIN'S UNIQUE GLASSES
Vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin made all kinds of political statements during her convention speech, but the fashion statement she made with her glasses is what intrigued eyewear professionals.
Italee Optics of Los Angeles has increased its imports of the frames in response to Palin's appearance, a company manager said.
"We were just talking about that,'" said Judy Sulier, an optician at Pinnacle Eye Group in Bedford Township, Ohio. "I was going to go online to pull it up and see what... (zzzzzzzzz... What? Oh... sorry Ed.)
Palin, the governor of Alaska, wears customized glasses and frames from Japanese designer Kazuo Kawasaki.
The high-end eyewear -- the prices start at $600 -- are frameless and allow the customer to choose from a nearly limitless variety of lens shapes.
Shop owner Georgeann Kohn in Toledo, Ohio, said she had received "just a couple inquiries" from... What what whaaaaaa? Back up a second there...
Start at $600? More than John Edwards's haircut? More than John McCain's phokking Salvatore Ferragamo 'Pregiato' Phokking Moccasins for phokk's sake? That's hockey mom folksy? My phokking @SS.
Top story on the SS website is far more hard-hitting:
Ten fittest, least fit presidents
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Corms was wrong - he is missed
"We wish Jay well and will miss him — not personally, of course — but in the sense of noticing he is no longer here, at least for a few days."
-- Chicago Scum-Slimes editor Michael Cooke
~
-- Chicago Scum-Slimes editor Michael Cooke
~
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Hendry vindicated
No doubt: Jim can do it
Edmonds no longer a star, but play answers critics -- and himself
Jim Edmonds is 37 years old, can't run anymore, can't hit. That's what the critics were saying when he signed with the Cubs. Stupid critics. The least they could have done was give the guy a chance, and ...
Yes, I was the one who wrote that four Wednesdays ago. I also said he couldn't make his signature diving, back-to-the-infield catches anymore. At least I wasn't booing, like the fans.
In other words, it was ''Welcome to Chicago, Jim.'' And while he's still 37, still can't run, still can't make the highlight dives, he has been a big catch for the Cubs. Edmonds still has something left after all.
And it's something the Cubs needed: a left-handed hitter to share the job in center field.
Edmonds no longer a star, but play answers critics -- and himself
Jim Edmonds is 37 years old, can't run anymore, can't hit. That's what the critics were saying when he signed with the Cubs. Stupid critics. The least they could have done was give the guy a chance, and ...
Yes, I was the one who wrote that four Wednesdays ago. I also said he couldn't make his signature diving, back-to-the-infield catches anymore. At least I wasn't booing, like the fans.
In other words, it was ''Welcome to Chicago, Jim.'' And while he's still 37, still can't run, still can't make the highlight dives, he has been a big catch for the Cubs. Edmonds still has something left after all.
And it's something the Cubs needed: a left-handed hitter to share the job in center field.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
your Scum-Slimes for Tuesday
Blow-up doll in Sox clubhouse: page 1 (two-thirds of page), page 5 (full page), page 61 (two columns)
10,000+ dead in Burma: page 20 (one paragraph) (figure is off by more than half)
10,000+ dead in Burma: page 20 (one paragraph) (figure is off by more than half)
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
behold the goo
I can't let Carol Slezak hide behind whatever oh-so-convenient technical glitch kept this article off the internets yesterday, so the following fair-use-complying, non-copyright-violating snippets are provided for your non-commercial cultural enlightenment.
A corollary argument: the fact that we're still getting our @sses kicked in Iraq indicates that maybe Rummy wasn't so bad, after all.
Maybe Baker wasn't so bad, after all
Cubs proving they can play as badly under Piniella as they did for Dusty
Carol Slezak, CSS, June 5, 2007 (Print edition only! Nice try...)
The bad baserunning, lousy defense, ineffective bullpen, lack of timely hitting and general ineptitude -- to think you thought it was all Dusty's fault...
You couldn't wait to force Dusty Baker out of town. You held him accountable for everything that was wrong with the Cubs. Every loss. (Yes.) Every injury. (Yes.) Every time the bullpen -- choose a reliever -- couldn't find the plate. (Yes!) Every time an outfielder -- choose an arm -- couldn't hit the cutoff man. (Yes! Yes! YES! It's like she's reading my soul...) Every time a batter -- and there were many to choose from -- couldn't advance a runner or get a guy in from third. (No, that part never bothered me.)
Man, that Baker was a crummy manager. Or so you thought.
Anybody want to reconsider? (Corms?) Anybody big enough to apologize to Baker? (Decker?) Because he deserved far better treatment from this city...
Fast forward to big finish...
Like Baker, Piniella came to the North Side with a reputation as one of the game's best managers. The early results have been anything but encouraging. Is it Piniella, or is it the organization? The answer is obvious: It's not Piniella. Because you understand that, you're not turning on Piniella.
So why did you turn on Baker?
A corollary argument: the fact that we're still getting our @sses kicked in Iraq indicates that maybe Rummy wasn't so bad, after all.
Maybe Baker wasn't so bad, after all
Cubs proving they can play as badly under Piniella as they did for Dusty
Carol Slezak, CSS, June 5, 2007 (Print edition only! Nice try...)
The bad baserunning, lousy defense, ineffective bullpen, lack of timely hitting and general ineptitude -- to think you thought it was all Dusty's fault...
You couldn't wait to force Dusty Baker out of town. You held him accountable for everything that was wrong with the Cubs. Every loss. (Yes.) Every injury. (Yes.) Every time the bullpen -- choose a reliever -- couldn't find the plate. (Yes!) Every time an outfielder -- choose an arm -- couldn't hit the cutoff man. (Yes! Yes! YES! It's like she's reading my soul...) Every time a batter -- and there were many to choose from -- couldn't advance a runner or get a guy in from third. (No, that part never bothered me.)
Man, that Baker was a crummy manager. Or so you thought.
Anybody want to reconsider? (Corms?) Anybody big enough to apologize to Baker? (Decker?) Because he deserved far better treatment from this city...
Fast forward to big finish...
Like Baker, Piniella came to the North Side with a reputation as one of the game's best managers. The early results have been anything but encouraging. Is it Piniella, or is it the organization? The answer is obvious: It's not Piniella. Because you understand that, you're not turning on Piniella.
So why did you turn on Baker?
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
Scum-Slimes hiding Slezak's puddle of goo from da Sarge
There's a column in today's print edition of the Scum-Slimes, with Carol Slezak's photo next to it but no byline, about how the Cubs' continued suckiness under Piniella proves that it wasn't Dusty's fault. The article is not on the internets. I repeat: it is not on the internets! It's as if they knew that putting it where da Sarge could find it might set off an "incident."
Friday, May 11, 2007
somephun ya don't see every day
an S-S sports column that conveys actual information...
D'ough I still prefer da Hiney-Bird's assessments of how much better sports would be if he were GM of every team...
D'ough I still prefer da Hiney-Bird's assessments of how much better sports would be if he were GM of every team...
Friday, May 4, 2007
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