Who is K-Mad going to kick around now?

Lou Dobbs is outta here.

100% of Lou Dobbs 35 viewers are sad.

~

Jon Stewart has noticed that an awful lot of Lou Dobbs viewers seem to be agreeing with Lou Dobbs lately...

Blogger is telling me the embed code is "broken." (More likely, Blogger still sucks. Not that an actual person is to blame.) So here's the link.

http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/mon-august-17-2009/poll-bearers

Meanwhile, it's a little puzzling that only an overwhelming majority -- but not a shocking majority -- of Lou Dobbs viewers agreed with Lou Dobbs last night.

Question: Top Obama administration officials over the weekend said the public government-run health-care option is not an essential part of the plan. But then other officials walked back from those trial balloons. Do you believe the public option will be killed, or is this an attempt to quiet those middle-class Americans who speaking out?

The Public Option Will Be Dropped ~ 10%
Just More Gamesmanship by the Administration ~ 90%

Lou Dobbs, too...

And his father really was a propane salesman from Texas. You can't make this shit up.

Does Lou Dobbs ever get tired of being right all the time?

LOU DOBBS: “[T]he stock market has lost 20 percent since this president was sworn in. He has his own bear market. That’s the definition of a bear market, a 20 percent decline. This is now the Obama bear market.” [CNN, 3/9/09]


News item: "The stock market soared to its highest level since November Thursday..."


J.P. Freire: ‘I Can’t Remember Anyone Saying’ The Bear Market Was Obama’s Fault

A shocking percentage of Lou Dobbs viewers agreed with Lou Dobbs last night (cont'd)

Would you trust your senator or congressman with a secret?
Yes 5% 482
No 95% 8526
Total Votes: 9008
Though delightfully inane, this is not a scientific poll

On the other hand, if Michael Medved thinks you're a nutburger, you might be a really YOOOGE nutburger.

Unlike Dobbs, some conservative media think birthers are "nutburgers"
~

a SHOCKING percentage of Lou Dobbs viewers agreed with Lou Dobbs tonight

Do you believe the presidential candidates' positions on border security should be more important in this campaign than their race, religion or gender?

YES 98% 4577
NO 2% 97
Total Votes: 4674
This is not a scientific poll (but, it is flamboyantly idiotic)

A shocking percentage of Lou Dobbs viewers agreed with... woops!

Do you believe the Food and Drug Administration will ever find the source of the salmonella outbreak?
Yes 11% 595
No 89% 4692
Total Votes: 5287
Poll results not scientific (but idiotic)

News item: Call it the smoking jalapeno. After nearly two months of mystery, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration has identified a jalepeno pepper that is contaminated with the same strain of Salmonella saintpaul that has sickened more than 1,237 people in 43 states.

It's the first time during this outbreak that a test has found the salmonella strain in a piece of produce.

The discovery, which will be announced shortly by FDA, was made at a packing plant in McAllen, Texas, according to a source familiar with the issue. The pepper was grown in Mexico, the source said, but was sent to the U.S. for sale. Authorities are not sure where it was contaminated with salmonella.

A shockingly large percentage of Lou Dobbs viewers are so freaking obviously lemmings (cont)

Do you believe the government of the United States should, at a minimum, keep track of people who are in this country on so-called "temporary visas?"

Yes: 98%
No (and Lou of course can't imagine who these phokks are): 2%

Coming next, a definition of what "keeping track of" means.

a shocking percentage of Lou Dobbs viewers have lapsed into a Lou Dobbs-viewing-induced coma (cont'd)

Do you believe the FDA already knows or suspects the source of the salmonella outbreak in tomatoes but is purposely keeping it from the public?

Yes 95%
No 5%
Poll results not scientific (but bat-shit crazy)

a shocking percentage of Lou Dobbs viewers agreed with Lou Dobbs last night (cont'd)

Do you believe enforcing the law is scapegoating?
Yes 6% 184
No 94% 2773
Total Votes: 2957
(Sublimely idiotic though it may be, this is not a scientific poll)

a shocking percentage of Lou Dobbs viewers agreed with Lou Dobbs last night (cont'd)

Do you believe that Senators Obama and McCain should accept my challenge to end the influence of lobbyists?

Yes 96% 5168
No 4% 243
Total Votes: 5411

This is not a scientific poll (but is supremely idiotic)

a shocking percentage of Lou Dobbs viewers have lapsed into a Lou Dobbs-viewing-induced coma

Do you believe Senator Hillary Clinton should run as an Independent candidate for President?
Yes 58% 7287
No 42% 5188
Total Votes: 12475
This is not a scientific poll

a shocking percentage of Lou Dobbs viewers agreed with Lou Dobbs last night (cont'd)

Should the United States send troops to the border to guard against violence from Mexican drug cartels?
Yes 95% 3392
No 5% 191
Total Votes: 3583
This is not a scientific poll

a shocking percentage of Lou Dobbs viewers agreed with Lou Dobbs last night (cont'd)

Do you believe elected officials in the United States are taking seriously the threat posed by Mexican drug cartels?
Yes 2% 56
No 98% 3058
Total Votes: 3114
This is not a scientific poll

another way the economy relies on illegal immigration

It's good for the prison-building industry.

News item: 270 illegal immigrants imprisoned in fed push

a shocking percentage of Lou Dobbs viewers agreed with Lou Dobbs last night (cont'd)

Does the attachment of amnesty legislation to the Iraq War Funding Bill compound your distrust of Congress?
Yes 97% 6614
No 3% 197
Total Votes: 6811
This is not a scientific poll

a shocking percentage of Lou Dobbs viewers agreed with Lou Dobbs last night (cont'd)

Do you believe that stealth amnesty groups should have to declare their political agendas clearly instead of trying to hide their purpose from the American public?
Yes 97% 8269
No 3% 253
Total Votes: 8522
This is not a scientific poll

the bloviator's hobby: making s#i+ up

From Fear and Loathing in Prime Time: Immigration Myths and Cable News

In recent years, some conservative groups have sounded the alarm over a development that they consider a growing threat to America: the construction of a "NAFTA [North American Free Trade Agreement] Superhighway" that would run from Mexico City, Mexico, to Toronto, Canada. In some tellings, the highway would be four football fields wide and allow Mexican truck drivers to travel unimpeded into the U.S. without the delays of rigorous border security checks. According to the purveyors of the theory, the highway would be a prelude to the creation of a multinational North American Union among the U.S., Canada, and Mexico that would essentially cede American sovereignty to its neighbors (see below for more on the NAU).

Rumors of a NAFTA Superhighway have circulated widely on right-wing media outlets and websites in recent years. But as many news outlets and the federal government have stated, the NAFTA Superhighway is, in fact, a myth.

a shocking percentage of Lou Dobbs viewers agreed with Lou Dobbs last night (cont'd)

Do you believe Congress should create stricter guidelines to ensure American workers are hired before foreign workers, whenever possible?
Yes__97%__4218
No____3%___144
Total Votes__4362
This is not a scientific poll

The Final Word Is Hooray!

"Why don't the damn Democrats give the president his day? He won today. He did well today."
(MSNBC's Chris Matthews, 4/9/03)

"What's he going to talk about a year from now, the fact that the war went too well and it's over? I mean, don't these things sort of lose their--Isn't there a fresh date on some of these debate points?"
(MSNBC's Chris Matthews, speaking about Howard Dean--4/9/03)