Saturday, June 9, 2007

Is Ed Wade back, too?

Mesa returning to Phillies

KANSAS CITY, Mo. - Jose Mesa is back.

The Phillies on Friday agreed to terms with their former closer, who was released Sunday by the Detroit Tigers. The Inquirer reported earlier this week that the Phils had interest in Mesa and planned to work him out. They must have liked what they saw. [Were they blindfolded, wearing sunglasses, and in a dark room?]

Mesa, who could join the team this weekend, likely will be a front-end piece to the bullpen, meaning he will not assume a late-inning role currently held by Brett Myers, Tom Gordon, Antonio Alfonseca, Geoff Geary or Ryan Madson. The Phillies have Clay Condrey (2-0, 11.57 ERA), Yoel Hernandez (0-0, 3.38 ERA), and Mike Zagurski (1-0, 4.26 ERA) in their bullpen. It was not known which pitcher Mesa would replace.

Mesa, 41, went 1-1 with a 12.34 ERA in 16 appearances this season with Detroit [sounds great!]. The righthander, who pitched for the Phillies from 2001 to 2003, is their all-time leader with 111 saves [really? PATHETIC!].

Have fun kids!

In scenario three, Ward assumes year 2100 CO2 levels of 1,100 ppm. Earth would be 10 degrees Celsius warmer. All of the world's ice would be melting, and much of the world's population displaced by rising waters. The conveyor would have shut down decades earlier, and signs of deep ocean anoxic bacteria beginning to show. Due to changes in the atmosphere, the sky would be turning a sickly shade of green. The sixth great mass extinction would be underway.

Two to avoid.

Team #9 Kevin McClure - #xxx Matthew Dominguez 3B Fla
Team #9 Kevin McClure - #xxx Devin Mesoraco C Cinc

Friday, June 8, 2007

Dumb and Dumber

Poll: Many Americans believe in both evolution, creationism

A full 66 percent said they believed in creationism, with 39 percent of those polled saying it was definitely true and 27 percent believing it was probably true.

K-Mad dunnit, dats what!

Reds optioned RHP Todd Coffey to Triple-A Louisville.
The Reds are simply being ridiculous now. At least Coffey was struggling last time they send him down. He pitched great during his two weeks in the minors, so what does the team do? Recall him, let him get two outs over two games and then demote him again. Gary Majewski has an 11.25 ERA, Rule 5 pick Jared Burton is an obvious liability due to his poor command and Mike Stanton hasn't pitched in a game the Reds have won since May 10, yet somehow Coffey is the biggest problem in the Cincinnati pen.

Negative campaigning works!

I was asked to run for Sec/Treas of the UCSD chapter of LAUC (Librarians Association of the University of California). After running a vigorous smear campaign against myself, i was just informed i lost by 4 votes (actually 2 votes because i voted against myself; Rebecca also voted against me).

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.--Groucho Marx

And you think you've got it rough...

Paris headed back to jail
Paris Hilton was in tears as the judge ordered her back to jail.

nice try - thank you for playing

Matt (Fort Collins, CO): Who do you think the Cubs will take at #3? I'd love for them to get Wieters but it sounds like his price might scare them off. What's your take on this?
Kevin Goldstein: Jarrod Parker. They're basically not allowed to spend big money there with their ownership situation in limbo.

was this Decker?

Phenomenal Smith (Brooklyn): Hi Kevin. Is Pat Venditte, the ambidextrious pitcher for Creighton, expected to be drafted at all? I've no idea why a team won't at least take a late-round flyer on him based on his numbers (which look pretty good with the caveat that I know nothing about the quality of his competition) and given the fact that he could potentially be two roster spots for the price of one.
Kevin Goldstein: He's going to go for sure. His numbers are good, his stuff isn't. He's in the mid-80s righthanded and drops to sidearm when he pitches lefty, and only in the upper 70s. Nobody is thrilled with him, but somebody in the teens is going to take a shot and see what happens.

just a little miffed here that I have not been approached about a role... and, oh yeah, expect the occasional minor teensy-weensy delay

Batman movie filming to start Saturday

(Crain’s) — The Caped Crusader is sweeping into Chicago for a summer stay that's expected to pump $45 million into the local economy and generate thousands of jobs.

Filming for "The Dark Knight," the latest installment of the Batman movie series, is scheduled to begin Saturday, with the cast and crew remaining until early September in what will be the movie’s Gotham City.
The movie is expected to require 390 local hires, 250 day-player actors — who are hired on a daily basis — and 6,000 extras.

"I would say this is one of the biggest feature film productions we have ever had in terms of scope, spending and job creation," said Richard Moskal, director of the Chicago Film Office.
Mr. Moskal said an effort will be made to minimize disruptions during filming, but residents and workers should expect periodic sreet closures.

"Obviously with a film this size, with stunts and (action) sequences, there will be street closings, but mostly in downtown and mostly at night," Mr. Moskal said...


Chicago dodges the weather bullet

My, who would have guessed? Were there any flying monkeys?

Gentlemen, it is time to hoard pacemaker batteries.

Breaking News: Cheney needs new pacemaker battery

Stark Drinking the Kool-Aid

People in Chicago would be amazed how many scouts following the NL Central report that they either think (a) the Cubs are a better, more talented team than the Brewers, or (b) the Cubs will end up winning the division. “I know they’ve played spotty, to say the least,” one scout said of the Cubs. “But I think they have a chance to rip off about 14 [wins] out of 15 one of these days.” The scout’s theory is that the Cubs have played tight, in great part because they haven’t adjusted to Lou Piniella’s personality and he hasn’t adjusted to them. “I think they’re at a real turning point,” the scout said. “If Lou can use that [suspension] time to watch from afar for a few days and then come back and make some adjustments, I think that team could take off. And knowing Lou, I think he can and he will.”

stuff San Diego don't, never have, and never will gots

Energetic 500 Clown troupe isn't entirely about laughs
Over the last seven years, 500 Clown, known for its energetic style that melds clowning with physical theater and circus arts, has developed a following through its always-morphing shows: "500 Clown Macbeth" and "500 Clown Frankenstein." The boundary-smashing ensemble has developed a death-defying style that has company members Molly Brennan, Leslie Buxbaum, Adrian Danzig and Paul Kalina building human ladders, dangling from scaffolding and balancing on narrow ledges. Their goal? To redefine the audience's concept of "clown."
Creating a new piece of physical theater is not a quick venture. It takes about two years to get a 500 Clown show up and running... (All the seltzer water hijinks probably really slows things down.)
"We don't take for granted that the audience is the watcher and the performer is the doer," Danzig said. "The result is an interesting connection. It's a living art and will continue to shift as we..." Oh, be quiet.

Same Old Spin

Valerie Plame wasn't covert according to some people. Unfortunately for those people the CIA doesn't agree.


Cyclone Special...Ooooof! (Note to Grady Little: You're an idiot!)

Bottom 9th: San Diego
- J. Broxton relieved J. Beimel
- G. Blum singled to second
- T. Sledge safe at first on first baseman N. Garciaparra's fielding error, G. Blum to second
- M. Giles singled to left center, G. Blum to third, T. Sledge to second
- P. McAnulty hit for J. Hampson
- P. McAnulty singled to first, G. Blum scored, T. Sledge to third, M. Giles to second
- A. Gonzalez ground rule double to deep center, T. Sledge and M. Giles scored, P. McAnulty to third
- J. Bard intentionally walked
- M. Cameron singled to center, P. McAnulty scored, A. Gonzalez to third, J. Bard to second
- K. Kouzmanoff struck out swinging
- R. Branyan walked, A. Gonzalez scored, J. Bard to third, M. Cameron to second

5 runs, 5 hits, 1 errors
LA Dodgers 5, San Diego 6

Thursday, June 7, 2007


And da rotund rookie Zagurski i told you about got da win... not only dat, Billy Wagner (HYOOOGE @HOLE), blew the save for the Muts.

Bottom 10th: NY Mets
- M. Bourn in left field
- A. Alfonseca relieved M. Zagurski
- C. Beltran grounded out to second
- C. Delgado doubled to deep left center
- D. Wright grounded out to shortstop, C. Delgado to third
- P. Lo Duca grounded out to third

0 runs, 1 hits, 0 errors
Philadelphia 6, NY Mets 3

a rejoinder to Smiff

With all due respect, I choose not to go phokk myself.

Hendry must have been ordering a pizza...

Kevin Goldstein (4:15:41 PM PST): at #97 in the third round, the Cubs took Tony Thomas, the Florida State second baseman who put up huge numbers without huge tools. He's a favorite of the stat-heavy folks, so it's a surprise to see him end up in Chicago.

I blame the cicadas and their constant, apocalyptic droning on and on about not getting laid and here it is almost the middle of June already...

90 m.p.h. winds could hit tonight

more on Olympic logos

At least ours didn't cause seizures.

future K-Mad catcher...

2nd rd 37. PHI Travis d'Arnaud C Lakewood(Calif.)HS

nice try, Tokyo...

Tokyo throws hat into rings for 2016 Olympic Games
Yeah, dat'll work... we've already designed a logo, printed t-shirts, had our logo rejected, and now they think they can just waltz in at da last minute...

June 07, 2007
(AP) — Tokyo will bid for the 2016 Summer Olympics

The Japanese Olympic Committee on Thursday notified the International Olympic Committee of its intention to offer Tokyo as a candidate to host the games.

JOC president Tsunekazu Takeda and Tokyo governor Shintaro Ishihara both submitted letters of intent to IOC president Jacques Rogge.

It is the first formal procedure in the process of making a bid for the Olympics with the IOC, which will select the winning city in 2009.
All candidate cities must submit initial bid files to the IOC by Sept. 13.

Other possible contenders include Rome; Prague, Czech Republic; Doha, Qatar, and Baku, Azerbaijan.

A pitcher from Rice...can they put him on the DL now?

Phillies picked Rice LHP Joe Savery with the 19th pick in the draft.
Savery's stock had fallen because of some arm troubles, but that didn't scare off the Phillies. They must see the Rice product as a future No. 3 starter with a low-90s fastball and a plus curve.

Boy, it didn't take long for dis guy to totally suck.

Jeff Samardzija pitched two scoreless innings Wednesday in his first appearance since being moved into Single-A Daytona's bullpen.
Samardzija was 0-5 with a 5.75 ERA, 76 H and 20/16 K/BB in 51 2/3 innings as a starter in the FSL. The move isn't supposed to be permanent, but Samardzija's lack of success this year increases the chances that he'll be a long-term reliever.

maybe he's just an @ss#ole?

Next big thing in law? Harsh jurisprudence of Thomas
By Adam Cohen

In the last 100 Supreme Court arguments, Clarence Thomas has not uttered a word. Court watchers have suggested a variety of explanations. Among the least flattering: he is afraid that if he speaks he will reveal his ignorance about the case; he is so ideologically driven that he invariably comes with his mind made up; or he has contempt for the process.

In their provocative new book, Supreme Discomfort: The Divided Soul of Clarence Thomas, two Washington Post journalists, Kevin Merida and Michael Fletcher, ponder Thomas' extraordinary silence, and many other puzzles. They offer a wealth of insight, but they have no answer to the central enigma he poses: why the justice who has faced the greatest hardships regularly rules for the powerful over the weak, and has a legal philosophy notable for its indifference to suffering.

It is a particularly timely question. For 15 years, Thomas was a marginal figure, rarely assigned to write major opinions because his views were so far right that he would have had trouble attracting five votes. But Thomas is a lot less marginal with the recent changes in the court — particularly the replacement of Sandra Day O'Connor, a moderate conservative, with Samuel A. Alito Jr., a more extreme one. He appears poised in the next few weeks to achieve his longstanding goal: dismantling the integrationist vision of his predecessor, Thurgood Marshall.

Thomas' early years were not as hardscrabble as his image-makers suggested during his confirmation; he left tiny Pin Point, Ga., when he was young, and was raised in a middle-class home. But he grew up in the Jim Crow South, with an absent father and an often-absent mother. He spent much of his childhood, the authors say, being ''angry and hurt.''

In college and law school, he identified strongly with his fellow blacks, and was liberal, even radical, on racial issues. But as he accepted jobs from Republicans eager to hire a conservative black lawyer, he shifted rightward. As chairman of the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, his phlegmatic advocacy for victims of discrimination disappointed civil rights activists, while impressing conservatives looking for a replacement for Marshall.

His confirmation hearings, at which Anita Hill accused him of sexual harassment, put an even sharper edge on his ideology. He redirected his anger, much of which had been aimed at whites, at liberals and civil rights organizations. Thomas is now beloved on the far right, with friends like Rush Limbaugh, whose wedding he performed.

Thomas wasted no time unveiling his harsh jurisprudence. In his first year on the court, he dissented from a decision holding that the ban on cruel and unusual punishment may have been violated when guards kicked a prisoner and punched him in the stomach, eye and mouth. The prisoner had a split lip, bruises and loosened teeth, but Thomas insisted that the Constitution did not prohibit such "insignificant harm." He dissented from a ruling in favor of a prisoner who was handcuffed to a hitching post in the hot sun for seven hours while a guard taunted him about his thirst.

Thomas also dissented from rulings that the mentally retarded and juveniles could not be executed. He can be counted on to reflexively oppose discrimination claims of minorities and women, as he did last week, when he joined the majority in rejecting the claim of a woman who was underpaid for years because of her sex, on the dubious ground that she complained too late.

Thomas claims he is simply faithful to the "original intent" of the founders. But when the founders' intent is not involved — as in the pay discrimination case, which was based on a modern statute — he is just as quick to reach a harsh result.

When Thomas joined the court, he not only filled Marshall's seat, he also labored in his shadow. As a lawyer in Brown v. Board of Education, Marshall had persuaded the court to champion racial integration. When he arrived on the court in 1967, he pushed it in a humane direction not only on race, but also in areas like prisoners' and women's rights and fair elections. The court had largely stopped moving forward in these areas by the time Thomas arrived but, mainly due to O'Connor, it did not move backward that much, either.

That appears likely to change. The court heard arguments this term challenging Louisville's and Seattle's voluntary efforts to integrate their schools. The court has long upheld voluntary attempts to bring students of different backgrounds together, including, just a few years ago, the University of Michigan's affirmative action program. But this time, it is expected to strike down Seattle's and Louisville's, which is likely to make public schools much more segregated. With its new members, the court is also likely to make prisons less civilized, and workplaces, elections and criminal trials less fair.

When Marshall retired, O'Connor noted that he "imparted not only his legal acumen but also his life experiences" and made the court respond not only to his arguments but to "moral truth." America will be a much less just place if Thomas' life experiences and moral truth start to shape the court's agenda — and the nation's.

Cubs Pass on Monk

MLB draft: First round

By Yahoo! Sports Staff
June 7, 2007
Pick-by-pick updates of the first round of the Major League Baseball amateur draft. Capsules from Associated Press.

1. Tampa Bay Devil Rays: David Price, LHP, Vanderbilt, 6-5, 215, Jr. Dominant season came to surprising end in regionals when top-ranked Commodores lost to Michigan in finals – a game in which he came on in relief and took his first loss of year after pitching just three days earlier. Drafted in 19th round out of high school and became the first lefty picked No. 1 since Yankees took Brien Taylor in 1991. SEC pitcher of year led nation with 194 Ks, including 17 in regional opener against Austin Peay, and went 11-1 with 2.63 ERA. Fastball sits in mid-90s and he mixes it well with outstanding slider and changeup. Projects as dominant staff ace.

2. Kansas City Royals: Mike Moustakas, INF, Chatsworth H.S. (Calif.), 6-0, 185. California's career high school home run leader (52) hit a state-record 24 this season while leading school to city title at Dodger Stadium. Left-handed slugger is rated as best high school power hitter in draft by Baseball America with smooth swing. Played shortstop in high school, but projects more as corner infielder in pros. Also served as team's closer, but will be position player at next level despite mid-90s fastball. Also played quarterback for a few years in high school, but dedicated himself to baseball.

3. Chicago Cubs: Josh Vitters, 3B, Cypress H.S. (Calif.), 6-3, 195. Considered as top high school position player in draft, a notch ahead of Mike Moustakas, and also in mix for No. 1 overall pick by Tampa Bay. Has great polish at the plate, and has outstanding power with a short, compact swing. Hit .360 with nine HRs and 29 RBIs – despite missing two weeks with pneumonia – while leading team to 20-3 record. Has great arm strength, but sometimes has problems on defense and doesn't have great range. Could end up in OF – teams will want his bat in lineup.

The next Matt Murton?

Though, of course, as the 3rd pick in the draft he'll get a million chances before being regulated to bench duty like Murton.

Cubs selected third baseman Josh Vitters third overall in the draft.
Vitters is an advanced player for a high school product, and if he could stay at third base, he might have the bat to become a star. That said, there's a good chance he'll end up in left field, making him a little less of an asset. The Cubs hope he'll develop into a .280-.300 hitter with 25-homer ability.

You know who to blame.

Blue Jays designated RHP Tomo Ohka for assignment.

There goes the Cherries 4th (yeah, FOURTH!) starter. He had 4-3 record and a 4.69 ERA for us, so we weren't complaining. Now it appears Andy Sonnanstine (WHO?) is going to get the call. Either dat or Papelbon goes back in the rotation as a 4 inning starter.

we can all learn from the Brits, but I have a better plan: pair off everyone in the world and have them spy on each other

Brits trade privacy for security with surveillance
By Paisley Dodds
Associated Press writer

LONDON — In a bunker beneath London's bustling Piccadilly Circus, guards monitoring a grid of closed-circuit televisions spot something unusual. A suspicious package has been left behind amid the crush of tourists.

Moments later, a Hare Krishna picks up the abandoned cooler, which is filled with religious documents — not a bomb.

Civil libertarians warn of the damage to personal privacy. But polls show broad public acceptance, even if the cameras more often capture a couple in loving embrace than a terrorist about to wreak havoc.

Britain has more than 4 million closed-circuit security cameras, more than any other Western democracy. Police say the average Briton is on as many as 300 cameras every day, usually unaware. The density of surveillance is significantly higher than in any other Western democracy, says Jen Corlew, spokeswoman for Liberty, a London-based human rights group.

But nearly two years since the July 7, 2005, London transit bombings — a case where video surveillance tapes were key to the investigation — Britain is considering giving the government even more authority and equipment to snoop on people's lives.

Airport iris scans will give guards a more precise way to identify passengers and access their background information (time to keep an extra set of eyeballs handy). Increased use of ultra-sensitive microphones may allow police to listen to whispered conversations.

All vehicles that enter the center of London are captured on the vast network of cameras, making sure they pay the congestion charge but also providing a tool for security.

The target is hardly just terrorism. The government uses electronic surveillance for even mundane law enforcement.

For example, in Gloucester, surveillance cameras are equipped with microphones and speakers. People caught littering or other minor infractions are scolded by remote control. Security personnel who watch from inside a bunker give troublemakers a last chance to change their ways before they are fined or their misdeeds are posted on a government's Web site.

A few are horrified at this trend. (aka wid da tarrists...)

"We are sleepwalking toward a Big Brother society, not in one fell swoop but by stages," warns The Spectator, a conservative magazine. "There is no boot stamping on a face: just an ever more insistent foot in the door." (No boot? S#i+... would that cost extra? Cuz it would be so worth it...)

But the vast majority of 4,000 people surveyed in 2005 said they believed that tapping phones, opening mail and following terror suspects were a price worth paying to stay safe, according to British Social Attitudes Report — an annual survey released in January. (We should also be attaching electrodes to everyone's genitalia, just to see if they have anything to hide...)

Some 81 percent thought tapping telephones and opening mail were prices worth paying. For terrorism suspects, 80 percent supported electronic tagging.

The British seem to have rallied around the idea that some long-accepted freedoms may have to be curbed in the face of a common enemy — in much the way an earlier generation made sacrifices during World War II.

"When it comes to people's safety, I don't think they can go too far," said Jonathon Walkes, 29, a London lawyer. "For the most part, we just go about our lives knowing that people are watching. I'm still rowdy after a night at the pub." (He's an @ss#ole drunk - there's a shocker.)

British authorities say people shouldn't worry about the close surveillance — unless they're doing something wrong.

"We appreciate that the cameras and some of the other measures are seen as invasive, but only people who really have something to worry about should be concerned," David Morgan, a Metropolitan Police Chief Superintendent, told The Associated Press on a tour of the bunker.

As he spoke, a series of seemingly private moments unfolded — ranging from a young couple stepping into the shadows for a kiss to a driver sneaking into a restricted bus lane.

That Britain has had widespread electronic surveillance for nearly two decades, since Irish Republican Army attacks, may be a factor in the British stoicism in the face of government security clampdowns.

Rights groups say the government is cleverly eroding civil liberties in small steps.

"The story goes if you take live frogs and you throw them into a pot of boiling water, they instinctively jump out and save their skins," says Shami Chakrabarti, director of Liberty.

"If you don't do that and instead put the frogs in a pan of tepid water … they'll splash around quite happily and gradually boil to death. I think the attacks on rights and freedoms have been closer to that. It's been a slow, gradual attack."

Although Britain leads the pack with its television monitoring, other advanced countries too have ratcheted up surveillance. Occasionally, there has been resistance. For example, the Bush administration's tracking of telephone calls and e-mails has prompted Congress to try and impose limits.

Not only are many British willing to trade privacy for safety or just convenience. At Barcelona, Spain's Baja Beach Club, club-goers are forfeiting their anonymity to have a microchip ID implanted in their arms. In return, they get special VIP privileges at the nightclub.

When cameras, microphones and other devices catch criminals or potential terrorists there's little debate about their usefulness in Britain or elsewhere.

It's unclear if there's a line where the public will broadly reject further intrusions. However, some controversy is brewing over Britain's plan to require ID cards — a measure that could be in place as early as next year for foreigners.

Beginning in 2010, the Identity and Passport Service will issue ID cards with British passports. It is not yet clear whether legislation will be passed to force all British citizens to carry the ID cards. (Wouldn't it be easier to barcode everyone like in Idiocracy?)

Much of the criticism has centered on cost — nearly $10 billion over 10 years.

Advocates say the cards would make things easier for people to rent apartments, open bank accounts, sign up for health services and other benefits. Rights groups say they would allow authorities to unfairly track minorities.

"They already target us because we're dark-skinned even though we're British," said Mohammed Khalal, 23, a Muslim. "Soon they'll be asking us for our ID cards. Then they'll come up with other ways to put us under surveillance. If we're not really free today, what will it be like in 20 years?"

Britain also is home to the world's largest DNA database of violent offenders and juvenile delinquents. About one third of the roughly 3.2 million people in the database have not been found guilty of any crime, and rights groups fear the information could one day be used to determine everything from insurability to genetic predispositions.

Already, legislators are debating a government proposal that could allow police to lock up people with severe personality disorders — such as schizophrenics — if they are thought to be a danger to other people before they commit a crime. The Home Office made the proposals in a report, which is now under debate in the House of Commons.

dese guyz: having more fun than i am

I mean, who wouldn't love to have a title like Founding Editor, Flu Wiki & Flu Wiki Forum, or write for something called

let's clarify this once and for all

Perjury and obstruction of justice in the matter of lying about cheating on your wife is an impeachable offense entirely worthy of bringing down governments (plus you're going to Hell -- quite a double-whammy! that oughta learn ya...). Perjury and obstruction of justice in the matter of lying about blowing the cover of a CIA agent for your own political gain in preserving the value of the lies you told to get a war started (see also: s#i+ blowing up)... feh... let's try to move on.

sounds like a lunatic

And, oh yeah, expect delays.

CTA Pres.'s New Chief of Staff
(Crain’s) — Lydia Murray’s love affair with big cities like Chicago started while looking through the window of a Chicago Transit Authority bus (oh, my God...), something the Evansville, Ind., native did every summer of her childhood.

During her annual father-daughter trip to Chicago, Ms. Murray attended Cubs games and, with the help of the CTA’s park-and-ride service, got a taste of what was to become a life-long fascination with the "vitality and energy of a big city."

Now, as the chief of staff to new CTA president Ron Huberman, Ms. Murray, 36, will try to help the CTA fulfill its mission of providing "clean, on-time, safe and efficient" service to its 1.6 million daily passengers, she said.

The Virgin Mary is angry, my friends

A third-tier local politcal guy is stealing her act.

Rosemont's beloved Mayor Donald E. Stephens was always larger than life. Maybe death, too.

Six weeks after the passing of the man who put the northwest suburb on the map and steered it for its first 51 years, residents are insisting his likeness has appeared on a sycamore tree outside a village-owned health club.

In an unrelated development:

Minor miracle
News Item:
A man in Floresville, Texas, finds a miraculous image of Jesus in a bird dropping on the driver-side window of his Mercury Grand Marquis.

How long has it been since, say, a sea was parted?

the scoreboard would have collapsed under the weight of all the crooked numbers

Today's forecast: High 93, winds out to CF-RF 20-30 mph, gusts to 50 mph. But alas...

I blame McClure

This is the last phokking time I care about anything.

But hey, those Anaheim fanzzz deserve it. Hockey is in dere blood out dere. How many centuries have they been waiting for this?

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

take dat, HATERS!

Adam Eaton gets the win...

Bottom 9th: NY Mets
- M. Bourn in left field
- A. Alfonseca relieved R. Madson
- P. Lo Duca grounded out to third
- R. Gotay flied out to deep right center
- D. Newhan flied out to left

0 runs, 0 hits, 0 errors
Philadelphia 4, NY Mets 2

did K-Mad have him in the prehistoric fantasy draft?

Prehistoric iceman "Otzi" died from arrow wound

behold the goo

I can't let Carol Slezak hide behind whatever oh-so-convenient technical glitch kept this article off the internets yesterday, so the following fair-use-complying, non-copyright-violating snippets are provided for your non-commercial cultural enlightenment.

A corollary argument: the fact that we're still getting our @sses kicked in Iraq indicates that maybe Rummy wasn't so bad, after all.

Maybe Baker wasn't so bad, after all

Cubs proving they can play as badly under Piniella as they did for Dusty
Carol Slezak, CSS, June 5, 2007 (Print edition only! Nice try...)

The bad baserunning, lousy defense, ineffective bullpen, lack of timely hitting and general ineptitude -- to think you thought it was all Dusty's fault...

You couldn't wait to force Dusty Baker out of town. You held him accountable for everything that was wrong with the Cubs. Every loss. (Yes.) Every injury. (Yes.) Every time the bullpen -- choose a reliever -- couldn't find the plate. (Yes!) Every time an outfielder -- choose an arm -- couldn't hit the cutoff man. (Yes! Yes! YES! It's like she's reading my soul...) Every time a batter -- and there were many to choose from -- couldn't advance a runner or get a guy in from third. (No, that part never bothered me.)

Man, that Baker was a crummy manager. Or so you thought.

Anybody want to reconsider? (Corms?) Anybody big enough to apologize to Baker? (Decker?) Because he deserved far better treatment from this city...

Fast forward to big finish...

Like Baker, Piniella came to the North Side with a reputation as one of the game's best managers. The early results have been anything but encouraging. Is it Piniella, or is it the organization? The answer is obvious: It's not Piniella. Because you understand that, you're not turning on Piniella.

So why did you turn on Baker?

Chicago ain't got one of dese...

42nd Annual Watermelon Drop
Friday, June 8, 2007 12:00pm, Urey Hall and Revelle Plaza
We are pleased to invite the campus community to join us at the 42nd annual Watermelon Drop. The campus' oldest tradition, this year's drop will feature Matt Wiepking, our newly crowned Watermelon Queen, dropping the infamous fruit from the 7th floor of Urey Hall to see how far it will splat. The drop will occur at 12:00pm on the east side of Urey Hall and will be followed by he Watermelon Festival, featuring entertainment, games, and free watermelon!

For all the millionaire, gutless, crybabies who sit out with the smallest twinge or hangnail or because they're out of shape like Kevin Millwood or...

UCSD Baseball Player Hangs Hopes on Major League Draft
Brain Tumor Doesn't Deter Athlete's Drive

In related news, is dat fat phokk Clemens ever going to pitch?

Phillies' new closer?

Despite having only 83% as many fingery appendamages as Alfonsucko, he'd have to be an upgrade.

There's probably a hilarious story behind dat.

Man jumps at popemobile

will findings be on display at the Creation Museum?

News Item: Kentucky man plans to lead the "greatest geological expedition in history" to a fog-enshrouded hole in the Arctic Ocean leading to Earth's center, where an unknown civilization exists inside the hollow core of the planet.
Whatever happens with the expedition, there is a place for him on the President's Council of Advisers on Science and Technology.

This Can't be Good


After one inning in Milwaukee...

...has Zambrano attacked anyone? an umpire perhaps?

really though... serious or kidding?

I still can't tell...

how is k-mad to blame?

YEMEN'S WORST LOCUST OUTBREAK IN YEARS THREATENS CROPS -- UN New York, Jun 6 2007 8:00AM Yemen faces its worst outbreak of crop-devouring locusts in nearly 15 years, a United Nations agency warned today, urging action to head off the damage.

Hollywood Jones

It's just too easy to make jokes about the serial adulterer:

* As if not being able to pull his pants up wasn't bad enough, the news on Chipper Jones got even worse Tuesday.

uh, ohorrorerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr........

Roy Halladay, outstanding versus the White Sox last week in his return from the DL, was lit up eight runs -- seven earned -- and 12 hits in 3 2/3 innings by the Devil Rays on Tuesday.

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

This is SO Cub (cont'd)

Angel Guzman will go on the disabled list Wednesday because of forearm cramping, the Cubs revealed.
We called this one a few days ago. The Cubs took an injury-prone pitcher, had him switch roles for the third time this season and then made him throw 7 2/3 innings in a 12-day span. It's the same type of thing Lou Piniella did to get his pitchers hurt in Tampa Bay, and as long as the Cubs let the old man run their pitching staff by whim alone, it will likely keep happening. Now the Cubs are going to call up another quality prospect, Sean Gallagher, throw him into the bullpen and see what happens.

Cubs are back...


Chi Cubs 5
Milwaukee 7

on da flip-side...

The appearance of Chad Orvella (Horror!) leads to 6 run, 9th inning, bullpen blowup...

Tampa Bay
A. Sonnanstine 7.0 8 6 6 0 5 1 7.71
G. Glover 1.0 0 0 0 0 2 0 4.72
C. Orvella 0.0 2 3 3 1 0 0 12.86
S. Camp (H, 10) 0.1 1 2 2 1 0 0 5.82
C. Fossum (L, 3-6; BS, 1) 0.0 1 1 1 0 0 0 7.91
T. Corcoran 0.0 0 0 0 3 0 0 5.82

cats and dogs living together

Check out dat bullpen!

J. Moyer 7.0 8 2 2 2 1 0 4.08
R. Madson 2.0 0 0 0 1 2 0 3.55
G. Geary (W, 1-1) 1.0 1 0 0 0 0 0 3.45
A. Alfonseca (S, 2) 1.0 1 0 0 0 0 0 4.07


News item: Horror hurlers hale and hearty (not even kidding this time), throw three consecutive shutouts.

relive the failure

Prospect Retro: Brooks Kieschnick

feel the enthusiasm

WASHINGTON, DC, 30 May, 2007 - The World Bank’s Board of Executive Directors acknowledges the nomination today by the Executive Director of the United States of Mr. Robert Zoellick* as World Bank President.

* pronounced almost like Zelig, by the way...

How the mighty have plummeted...

Gamble Standings W L
19 Drunk Monks 32 25
7 Mad Cow Resurgence 31 26
11 Pony Express 28 29
15 Team Russ 26 31
3 Crab Queens 26 31

Speaking of NE!F!...

...things ain't going well...

Neifi Perez-SS-Tigers Jun. 3 - 8:11 pm et
Neifi Perez went 0-for-5 and committed his first error while filling in for Carlos Guillen on Sunday.
As long as the Tigers are taking the trash out to the street, why not have Neifi join Jose Mesa? It might have happened already had Ramon Santiago been playing better at Toledo. Santiago is batting .234/.276/.322 with four steals in 11 tries in Triple-A. Perez is at .149 this year and .179 in 112 at-bats since his acquisition from the Cubs last season.



New York, Jun 4 2007, 3:00PM

Hundreds of millions of people worldwide will be affected by melting snow covers, ice and glaciers, according to a new United Nations report released ahead of tomorrow’s celebrations for World Environment Day.

Who Wants in on a Great Deal?

FROM THE DESK OF DR SABO RABOBILL AND EXCHAGE MANAGER. FOREIGN REMITTANCE DEPARTMENTBANK OF AFRICA( BOA) BURKINA FASO WEST AFRICATEL.+22678819685Dear Friend, Compliments,I am writting to seek your coperation over this business proposal.First I must solicit your confidence in this transaction, this is by virtue of its nature as being utterly confidential and top secret. Though I know that a transaction of this magnitude will make any one apprehensive and worried, but I am assuring you that all will be well at the end of the day. l have decided to contact you due to the urgency of this transaction, Let me start by introducing myself properly to you. I am DR SABO RABO a manager with the Bank Of Africa( BOA), Ouagadougou Burkina faso,Africa.I came to know you in my Private Search for a Reliable and Reputable Person to handle this Confidential Transaction, which involves the transfer of Huge sum of Money to a Foreign Account requiring Maximum Confidence. In my department, We discovered an abandoned sum of$7million USD(SEVEN MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS.)only , in an account that belongs to one of our foreign customers who died along with his entire family in a plane crash that took place in Kenya,East Africa, the bank now expects a next of kin as beneficiary. Valuable efforts are being made by the Bank to get in touch with any of the Brumleys remaining family or relatives but all to no success. the Late DR. GEORGE BRUMLEY,a citizen of Atlanta,United States of America is a known Philantropist in,West Africa and the whole African continentSince we got information about his death, we have been expecting his next of kin to come over and claim his money because it cannot be released unless somebody applies for it as next of kin or relation to the deceased as indicated in our banking guidelines but unfortunately all his supposed next of kin or relation died alongside with him at the plane crash leaving nobody behind for the claim. It is therefore upon this discovery that I now decided to make this businness proposal to you and release the money to you via your foreign bank account as the next of kin or relation to the deceased for safety and subsequent disbursement since nobody is coming for it and It is because of the perceived possibility of not being able to locate any of Late Brumleys s next kin (He died with his entire family members)The Banking law and guideline here stipulates that if such money remained unclamed after three years, the money will be transfered into the Bank treasury as unclaimed fund.The request for your assistance and maximum co-operation as a foreign citizen to stand as the next of kin in this business is occasioned by the fact that the deceased customer was a foreigner and a Burkinabe cannot stand as next of kin to a foreigner.The sharing of the fund are thus: 30% for you the account owner,60% for i and my trusted colleagues and the remainning 10% for expenses for both parties. If this proposal is acceptable by you, do not make undue advantage of the trust we have bestowed in you. Best regards, Dr SABO RABO (Manager). PrivateTEL.+22678819685 NOTEYou should contact me immediately as soon as you receive this letter on my direct line TEL.+22678819685.Trusting to hear from you immediately.Please , visit the website below for more informations about the Plane Crash and the tragic death of the deceased and his entire family, Late DR.GEORGE BRUMLEY. tml

Scum-Slimes hiding Slezak's puddle of goo from da Sarge

There's a column in today's print edition of the Scum-Slimes, with Carol Slezak's photo next to it but no byline, about how the Cubs' continued suckiness under Piniella proves that it wasn't Dusty's fault. The article is not on the internets. I repeat: it is not on the internets! It's as if they knew that putting it where da Sarge could find it might set off an "incident."

yeah... what Smiff said...

Violent crime rises 1.3 percent in U.S.

"It's no coincidence that it's happened during the same time period which the administration has all but eliminated the COPS program, slashed state and local law-enforcement programs by billions and cut completely the COPS hiring program."
-- "Jihadi Joe" Biden

It's probably also no coincidence that this happened during the time the plutocrats were fist-phokking every non-plutocrat in sight (see: Supreme Court scumbags) and driving everybody who doesn't know the secret handshake into poverty. The most dangerous guy in the world is the guy with nothing to lose, which is gonna be almost everybody if the plutos have their way.

In the future all Cyclone starting pitchers will be turned into relievers.

The Athletics are leaning towards bringing Rich Harden back as a reliever later this month.
"If everything went perfectly, he might be ready for an inning against St. Louis (June 15-17)," manager Bob Geren said. Harden threw from 150 feet today, and given that he still hasn't worked off a mound, it seems way too optimistic to pencil him in for a return within two weeks. If he does return as a reliever, it will lead to speculation about him becoming a closer. However, it's quite likely that the intention would be to have him work his way back as a reliever.

Monday, June 4, 2007

Cubs look to make it two in a row

This might be a good time to start hoarding canned food.

Awww...shucks...bein' on teevee is just no big deal really...I mean even...even you could be on teevee one day like I am now...

Will Carroll's latest blushing cheeks moment which is causing me to retch still:

"[What] I really don't want to see early on a Sunday morning is myself in high-definition video. Unfortunately, the citizens of Indianapolis were subjected to that on Sunday when my pal John Michael asked me to come on with him at WTHR. While TV has lost its mystery and wonder to me--"Oh look, there's the set! And the green screen for weather!"--it's become a way of looking in the mirror. BP, Ballbug, and are great, but it's still local news and Sportscenter where most people get their sports fix."

Look man, I just want to know about the injuries. I want to know who's coming back when, maybe hear a rumor or two (and I know you know them and can't tell us because you know, it's a highly placed source and all, whatever Nixon, but just once in awhile, tell me some shortstop, some pitcher, some phokking Cub or one of K-Mad's guys fell off a stationary bike, whatever, I'll believe it. I want to believe it.). I want to read about the Cubs, the Crab Queens and the Cyclones, I don't give a phokk about your friend the local news guy. My friend Ryan knows the weather guy in North Platte, we're even, tell me about the phokking injuries!

I don't give a phlying phokk about your philosophical musings on phokking technology. I don't. I just phokking don't. They're stupid and inspipid. And I hate your phokking powered almost ruined Wilco phor me. Ugh. You really need to just talk about injuries. An occasional pat on the back for your phantasy teams, that's cool. An occasional, hey guess what, I'm on the radio here or the tv here, ok. But don't give me phokking psychophantic pictures of Peter Gammons with some sickly sweet "here's who the next commissioner can be" so you can get your bloviating ass on phokking SportsCenter some random Tuesday in the warmer's annoying. It's phokking annoying and I hate it. Nobody likes it except for assheads. And I can't find a "p - phokking - h" for them.

That's it. I got a write a paper now.

And Will. Goddamn it, we're in it together.

Not my fault--it's your fault I'm an idiot. Or maybe he was blaming Regis.

"I want each and every American to know for certain that I'm responsible for the decisions I make and each of you are as well."--Da RezzziDUNCE on Live with Regis; 9/21/00

Well, Buddy Bell is a Monumental Idiot.

John Buck slammed his ninth and 10th homers of the season to give the Royals their only runs on Monday.
We still don't think he'll keep it up, but how can the Royals justify sitting Buck 40 percent of the time right now? Manager Buddy Bell decided last week to have Jason LaRue catch Brian Bannister and Scott Elarton, resulting in fewer at-bats for Buck. He obviously needs to be in the lineup more than three out of every five games when he's leading the team in OPS by 150 points.

File Dis Under: And Smiff Will Have Hair, too.

Both Chicago squads have fallen on hard times. Which team is more likely to salvage its season?
The Cubs
55% 1211 votes
The White Sox 22% 498 votes
Neither 22% 484 votes
Total Idiots: 2193

How are the "soft-on-crime" Democrats to blame?

Violent crime on rise in U.S.
The nation's murder rate rose slightly last year but the number of robberies skyrocketed by 6 percent, preliminary FBI data show. The statistics were part of an overall 1.3 percent rise in violent crime.

More evidence WE NEED RUDY! There was not even one crime in NYC while he was mayor...

If you don't hear from me after tomorrow...

Cooler Weather Due on Tuesday

SAN DIEGO – A late-spring storm system passing to the north will bring cooler weather throughout Southern California beginning Tuesday. West of the mountains, a heavy marine layer is expected to deepen June's gloom and deliver a slight chance of drizzle or light rain.

Tragedy has struck.

My iPod died.

There is no special interest with bags of ca$h they won't support.

QT Special:

News Item: "The Bush administration said Tuesday it will fight to keep meatpackers from testing all their animals for mad cow disease."
Blog Item: "I'm at a loss here . . ."
Blog Item: "What the - - - -?"
Sadly, predictably, much of the blogosphere does not grasp the concept of a president courageous enough to fight for our right to purchase meat that will kill us.

Did K-Mad start a new blog and not tell us?

Dick's The Man

Battle of the GM Idiot-Titans (cont'd)

Scum-Slimes primordial ooze reporter Joe Cowley regarding trade rumors that the White Sox might acquire Aaron Rowand (for a motley collection of trinkets, amulets, loose change, and shiny baubles - would the Phillies fall for it? possibly...) and Bobby Abreu (are the Yanquis that stupid? obviously...):

The trades would give "a new look to the outfield with Abreu, Rowand, and Jerry Owens holding down the fort until..." (wait for it... wait for it...) "Darin Erstand and Scott Podzzzednik come off the disabled list."

no respect

DETROIT - Released RHP Jose Mesa
OAKLAND - Desginated RHP Jay Witasick for assignment
NEW YORK (NL) - Granted RHP Chan Ho Park his unconditional release

So many different ways to say "you suck."

Sunday, June 3, 2007

how will this affect global entropy? Smiff's weekend amusement level? Sanjaya's hair?

A Cub victory appears to be a viable possible outcome today.

Bot 8th
Cubzzz 9, Braves 1

finally, some good news

Groin injury delays Rocket's relaunch

K-Mad's FAULT!

Although the Yankees are hoping Phil Hughes will return by August, some in the organization are privately worried he might miss the rest of the season.
Hughes rolled his left ankle while performing conditioning exercises last week in Tampa, where he was rehabilitating a left hamstring he strained while pitching against Texas last month. (IS THAT ALL?)

Mount Piniella Finally Erupts

MLB suspended Cubs manager Lou Piniella indefinitely and fined him an undisclosed amount for his actions in Saturday's game.
Among other things, Piniella repeatedly kicked dirt on third base umpire Mark Wegner. What made it even worse is that he didn't even truly believe that Wegner made the wrong call on the play. It was a calculated move designed to fire up his team. We'd take no issue with a month-long suspension. It has to be extremely humiliating to just stand there in full view of 35,000 people when another guy is kicking dirt on you. In any other situation, Piniella would have gotten himself punched in the face and woke up in a hospital bed the next day.

Two other things:
1) What's with kicking your own cap? Shouldn't he have been kicking the umpire's cap around the field? Either way, he looked like a total phokking idiot.
2) Actually, he should have been kicking Angel Pagan's ass all over the field. You're down by a run and there are no outs, so naturally you want to try to risk going to 3rd on a wild pitch. Oh yeah, he was out and it wasn't particularly close. I see "doing the little things" and "fundamentals" have really changed since Busty Shaker was $#!+canned. Corms FA.

Does the moron Manuel still plan on keeping Myers in the pen when he returns?

This is my idle question of the day...

Indefinate suspension for Pinella? Are they just going to shoot that guy in Mississippi then?