"Fades out?" Probably more like stuffed and mounted

Fake Mayor Emanuel Twitter account fades out

Posted by Shia K. at 2/24/2011 10:56 AM CST on Chicago Business

@MayorEmanuel, the faux alter ego Twitter character of Mayor-elect Rahm Emanuel, has gone silent after writing of being pulled into a vortex.

His tweets to some 38,000 followers ended around 8 p.m. Wednesday, with the anonymous author writing, "and now all I can hear is that music, and suddenly everything just f------ ..."

. . .

Followers are left to wonder whether the mysterious character, who has denied numerous interview requests, will ever return from the vortex—and whether the author will reveal him or herself.

The real Mr. Emanuel has promised to donate up to $5,000 to charity if the writer comes forward, "so I can pummel his phokking face in."
~

LoC Twitter outburst has Cholly talking in circles

"I definitely am not going to get away from him... We're going to work with him. And we're going to get him back to where he can get consistent and go out there and save games... I'm not saying he'll close tomorrow or the next day.... We're talking a real fine line... My gosh, this is quite a tasty squirrel..."

Feinstein: Destroying cars can help economy

CNN reports:

Under a bill introduced by Sen. Dianne Feinstein, D.-Calif., owners of older cars would get vouchers worth thousands of dollars toward the purchase of newer, more fuel-efficient vehicle. For the customer to get that cash, the car dealer would have to certify that the trade-in was getting scrapped and not resold. The car's vehicle identification number (VIN) would be tracked to make sure it never shows up on a vehicle registration again.

Crushing the old car has two benefits. First, it ensures that the consumer's purchase of a more efficient vehicle actually has a net environmental benefit. Second, it prevents a glut of used cars on the market, which would reduce trade-in values for new car buyers such as Sen. Dianne Feinstein, D.-Calif.

Reid to Blago: this is how it's done

As reported in the New York Times:

Despite repeated threats from Senate Democrats that they would not seat anyone Mr. Blagojevich appointed, Mr. Reid said, “There’s always room to negotiate.”

“So you’re not saying no completely that he won’t serve?” asked David Gregory, the host of “Meet the Press.”

“That’s right,” Mr. Reid said, nodding. "There's always a deal to be made behind closed doors, especially for something so phokking golden."

The Daily SHOCKER

Cheney acknowledged that he had disagreed with Bush's decision to remove embattled Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld in late 2006, saying that "the president doesn't always take my advice."

"I was a Rumsfeld man," Cheney said. "I'd helped recruit him, and I thought he did a good job for us."

"Go phokk yourself," he added, beating a slithery retreat to his underground lair before risking exposure to the purifying rays of the sun.

Want to park here for a couple of hours? Bring 52 quarters...

Okay, presumably they'll have done away with quarter meters by then and found a way to suck the money directly out of your kids' college fund, but still...

News item: Motorists will pay $6.50 an hour by 2013 to feed downtown parking meters

But at least all that extra cash is making it easier to get around town...

Daley warns drivers: Slow down when it snows

On Tuesday, Mayor Daley and Streets and Sanitation Commissioner Michael Picardi warned Chicago motorists to drive slower when the weather turns ugly and expect to wait longer to get side streets plowed as the city seeks to do more with less. . .

The mayor warned: "Next year is gonna get worse than this year. ... Once January comes, hold onto your pants. Smiff: Lord knows this means you above all."

It took eight long years to push the Nation to the brink of annihilation...

Now they have just three months to finish the job.

White House Makes Final Push To Deregulate

The White House is working to enact a wide array of federal regulations, many of which would weaken government rules aimed at protecting consumers and the environment, before President Bush leaves office in January.

The new rules would be among the most controversial deregulatory steps of the Bush era and could be difficult for his successor to undo. Some would ease or lift constraints on private industry, including power plants, mines and farms.

Those and other regulations would help clear obstacles to some commercial ocean-fishing activities, ease controls on emissions of pollutants that contribute to global warming, relax drinking-water standards and lift a key restriction on mountaintop coal mining.

Meanwhile, White House staffers are working behind the scenes to arrange an enormous dump on the Oval Office carpet which would be taken by a number of administration officials in the waning hours of the president's term. The officials would then slide through it, according to sources who declined to be named while plans are still being arranged.

yet annudder shocker

The liberal media LOVES Obama.

NEW YORK (figgers - Ed...) (Updated Monday) The Obama-Biden ticket maintains its strong lead in the race for daily newspaper endorsements, by 112 to 39, a than 3-1 margin, picking up 70 or more papers in the past three days...

In a real shocker, two solid Bush papers in 2004, the Houston Chronicle and Austin American-Statesman, also came out for Obama today...

For McCain: Las Vegas Review, Jackson (Miss.) Sun, Fargo (ND) Forum, Bakersfield (Ca.) Californian, Leaf-Chronicle of Clarksville, Tenn., The Daily Press of Hampton Roads, Va., several papers in Texas (Lubbock, Beaumont, Corpus Christi, Longview, Wichita Falls), and the Nutter Fort (WV) Daily Wingnut and Tasty Squirrel.

Very sorry to push Smiff's bundle of joy down the page for this, but the world keeps turnin' ya know!

Palin did not have time to answer questions from the media following her trip through southeastern Ohio, but left some folks exhilirated at meeting her.

"It was so exciting," said Pat Miller of Patriot, accompanied by her daughter Amber, a student at South Gallia High School. "She seemed to be very sweet, and if she could stop and take the time to buy some diapers for her son, it tells you that for her, family is first.

"However, unlike the governor, I have time to meet with the media."

If Zogby knew anything, Kerry would be running for re-electoration

Obama leads McCain by 2 points: Reuters poll

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Democrat Barack Obama has a 2-point lead in the U.S. presidential race on Republican John McCain, whose choice of Sarah Palin as his running mate helped shore up support for both candidates, according to a Reuters/Brain-Dead John Zogby poll released on Wednesday.

"We're back to where we always thought we would be -- in a very competitive race, and with my head tucked far up into my own @ss" the profoundly brain-dead pollster John Zogby said.

You'll get nothing and like it.

BAKERSFIELD, Calif. - Heterosexual couples are rushing to get married in a conservative California county that plans to halt all civil wedding ceremonies as gay marriage is set to be legalized.

Kern County Clerk Ann Barnett says Friday is the last day the county will perform civil weddings.

Starting Tuesday, when the California Supreme Court's order legalizing same-sex marriage takes effect, Kern will issue new gender-neutral marriage licenses as required by law. But couples seeking to get hitched will have to go somewhere else for the ceremony.

Barnett says the increased demand for ceremonies would overwhelm her staff and pose office security risks. She made the announcement after learning she could not marry only couples of her choosing.

*

You don't get to claim "office security risks" when you are the motherphockers creating the security risks. And I'm sure all the gay people are rushing to get married in Bakersfield. Well, they probably weren't, before this article. Congratulations to Ms. Barnett for basically calling down the thunder on herself. Now I have no idea if she is married, but it's a darn good thing that whoever granted her her marriage license didn't eliminate dumbasses based on their own "choosing."

Something called "EIA" takes WAG

They probably just looked at the futures prices, but it's still silly...

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - U.S. gasoline prices will continue to march to record highs this summer before peaking at $4.15 per gallon in August, the Energy Information Administration said on Tuesday.

Last month, the EIA projected gasoline prices would peak in June at $3.73 per gallon of regular grade fuel.

The EIA is also predicting that there will be 14 named storms in the Atlantic during the upcoming hurricane season, that John McCain will win 274 electoral votes in November, and that the world will end on January 26, 2033.