D Battery Elected To Philadelphia Sports Hall Of Fame

PHILADELPHIA — A voting panel of journalists and prominent sports figures elected the D battery to the Philadelphia Sports Hall of Fame Sunday, honoring the alkaline storage cell's many achievements in pelting players from visiting teams.

"The D battery is as synonymous with Philadelphia sports as intoxicated fistfights, cheering for a severely injured player, or intentionally vomiting on a child," said Philadelphia sportswriter Ray Didinger, adding that the Hall of Fame plans to install an interactive exhibit that allows children to throw batteries at life-size cutouts of rival athletes. "Whipping the D battery at opposing players, coaches, or dumbshit referees is a crucial part of the experience for Philly fans. No other projectile has had the same impact on Phillies, Eagles, Flyers, or 76ers games. The D battery is an icon, representing the very best of Philly."

I wonder what gave it away? Maybe the crash. Or the fact that it was an ambulance.

News item: Woman charged with stealing city ambulance from South Side hospital

Canadian plutocrats, we got your dog here

DougieDog Hot Dogs says the footlong creation is "mouth-wateringly delicious" — and it'll set diners back $100.

The Dragon Dog is made with a bratwurst infused with century-old Louis the 13th cognac, which costs more than $2,000 a bottle.

Other ingredients include Kobe beef seared in olive and truffle oil, fresh lobster (NO KETCHUP! - ed.) and a secret picante sauce.
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Hey Wisconsin, get to know your new Senator - you sure as hell deserve him

How did this jackass beat Feingold again? Was everyone drunk? Wait... that could be it actually...

Ron Johnson, R-Lobbyists

Sen.-elect Ron Johnson promised to change how Wisconsin is represented in Washington.

And he is doing just that.

Johnson narrowly defeated U.S. Sen. Russ Feingold, D-Wis., who was the chamber’s chief advocate for the sort of lobbying and ethics reforms that would limit the power of special-interest groups and eliminate pay-to-play politics. Feingold’s refusal to play Washington-insider games led to his being labeled by Washingtonian magazine as “the number one enemy of lobbyists in Washington.”

Johnson won’t be so labeled.

The new Republican senator has announced that his chief of staff will be Don Kent, a former vice president at Navigators Global LLC.

What’s Navigators Global LLC? A Washington-based power broker operation that describes itself as “an elite team of federal lobbyists, political strategists and communications experts.”

That’s right. Ron Johnson has put a lobbyist in charge of his Senate office...

History on booze

Fullscreen here

Phightin' Phils Phans Rephuse to Yield White Trafh Title to Soxfs Phanf

Man jailed for vomiting on baseball fan

Mourning "Dollar Bill" Wirtz - The Movie

More proof that majority rule in the hands of a really stupid populace is a toxic mix

Which day would you rather see become a national sports holiday?

Monday after Super Bowl 57%
Friday of NCAA tournament first round 43%
Total votes 193,353
Results not scientific, but profoundly idiotic

Today's Factoid
Fun facts about the profoundly idiotic culture we live in...
Games broadcast on Friday of NCAA tournament first round: 16
Games broadcast on Monday after Super Bowl: 0
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Everyone in this photograph is BRAIN-DEAD

How does the Google's all-seeing eyeball in the sky know I'm a nort'-side drunken a$$#ole?

Gmail is trying to sell me a "Horry Kow" t-shirt. $13.99!

I'm guessing neither one was a Rhodes Scholar

Cops: Ohio man shot self after running over friend
The Associated Press 5:03 a.m. March 23, 2009
SAGAMORE HILLS, Ohio — Police say an Ohio man fatally shot himself in the head moments after realizing he had run over a friend in a bar parking lot.
Summit County Sheriff's Sgt. Scott Cottle says witnesses saw Erich Schultz and Stacy DiJulius arguing in the parking lot after both had been drinking at a bar in Sagamore Hills, about 20 miles south of Cleveland.
Cottle says 38-year-old Schultz tried to drive away in his Jeep, but DiJulius tried to enter the vehicle as it moved and fell under one of the tires. Cottle says it appears Schultz accidentally ran over DiJulius and he felt so bad about it that he took out a gun and shot himself.
The 39-year-old DiJulius died at a hospital after Saturday night's accident. Schultz died on Sunday.
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Don't try this at home... ok, Smiff can try it, but he has to report back to the rest of us

There isn't much to making bacon vodka: You throw a few cooked slices into the bottle, put it in a cupboard, and wait three weeks.

since when has "numbness in the upper extremity" been a warning sign for Bears fans?

Cold may be unbearable
Football fans are warned over added perils of alcohol
(UnBEARable! Get it? Funny stuff... Ed...)

Booze and the Bears go together naturally for many fans at Soldier Field, but an expert warns that may be a dangerous combination on a frigid Monday night.

With the windchill expected to make lakefront temperatures feel like around zero during the Bears-Packers game, the commissioner of the Chicago Department of Public Health warned fans to beware the dangers of alcohol.

Alcohol makes blood vessels dilate and stretch, allowing body heat to escape more quickly, said Dr. Terry Mason. . .

"It doesn't take very long to get cold," he said. "Don't wait until your extremities start to feel numb. . ."

"Unfortunately, it's going to be pretty darn cold," said meteorologist Eric Lenning.

Onion or real?

News headline: iBreath turns the iPod into a breathalyzer

We are living in a golden age (cont)

Or, It's always someone eles's fault (cont)

Will this lawsuit fly?
Can you get drunk on a flight, then sue the airline for giving you the booze?

Well, of course you can sue, it's the American way! The question is can you sue successfully? And if alcohol can cause this, shouldn't it be illegal? This whole going to work thing is the sucker's way out. I need to find something to sue on to get me meeeeeeeeelions. Any suggestions Mr. Lawyer?

Mom and Dad and Grandma and Grandpa have been drinking again, but on the plus side, the kid was apparently sober...

even though the article states that "her 1-year-old son also had... been drinking."

Sober driver tough to find in this family: cops

And how can it be that we didn't have a "brain-dead Hoosiers" label until today?

i think there is an implication here that this is a bad thing?

Golfer Daly arrested at Hooters after drinking binge: report

WINSTON-SALEM, North Carolina (Ticker)—Former PGA golfer John Daly recently spent a night in jail after Winston-Salem police found him drunk outside a city restaurant, the Winston-Salem Journal reported Wednesday. Lt. Tyrone Phelps told the newspaper that Daly was held at the Forsyth County Jail early Sunday morning to sober up. According to the Winston-Salem Journal, paramedics went to a Hooters restaurant at 1 a.m. after receiving a report that Daly had passed out. When police arrived, they found Daly intoxicated and unwilling to go to a hospital. He was arrested and charged with disorderly conduct. “He didn’t want to talk to the (police officers),” Phelps told the newspaper.

The newspaper reported that Daly was traveling on a tour bus and told police that the people on the bus did not want him back on it after the Hooters closed. According to North Carolina state law, police can in some cases jail a person overnight to sober up.
Daly was later released on an unsecured bond. A winner of two majors, Daly, 42, has not had a PGA Tour card for the past two years. In March, Butch Harmon quit as his swing coach. At the time, Harmon said of Daly that “the most important thing in his life is getting drunk.”

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Has Fung started drinking?

Man farts at officer, charged with battery

Iowa Police Say Drunk Driver Tried to Bribe Officer With Sandwiches
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on the plus side, if you have enough of them you'll lose track of the carnage unfolding on tv

Put on your Huskie best and gather with fellow alumni to watch the game on the big screens... Goose Island will be serving a special Huskie Ale...

What hope is there for drunks like K-Mad & Smiff when an alleged teetotaler like Fung is pounding the beers like this?

(Ok, Stella really isn't a beer, but you know what i mean.)