Saturday, July 14, 2007

And I'm in the industry

I got a direct mail piece that I was not happy about. A credit card offer.

"Introducing the Chicago Cubs MasterCard Credit Card with MLB Extra Bases Rewards"

Clearly, they didn't do their research. They should know Fungster's household is a White Sox household. Ignore the zip code. Recognise the pale hose blood.

Then I looked closer and saw it was actually addressed to my sister. She HATES baseball. But hey, she may ignore the logo for 0% financing till next June. Except it will be shredded into tiny pieces and force fed to Sarge by the time she gets here.

I feel guilty when I say "duh"...

From the NY Times today - maybe we can figure out his environmental record sucks before the sun starts spitting seeds at us? Somewhere Dick "Dick" Cheney is signing an order of some kind to prevent this kind of reporting...:

Recruiting efforts are also suffering. Despite granting more waivers for recruits with criminal backgrounds, offering larger cash bonuses, loosening age and weight restrictions, and accepting more high school dropouts, the Army said it had missed its recruiting targets in May and June. Pentagon officials say resistance from families is a major recruiting obstacle. Membership is also increasing among antiwar groups that represent the active military and veterans. Military Families Speak Out, one such group, which was started in the fall of 2002, now has about 3,500 member families. About 500 of them have joined since January.

Nancy Lessin, a founder of the group, said it was noteworthy that about a hundred military wives living on bases had joined in the last three months. Wives living on bases, she said, are more reluctant than parents of soldiers to speak out.

For Beth Pyritz, 27, who recently joined the group, the turning point came last month when her husband, an Army specialist, left for Iraq for his third deployment.

“I voted for Bush twice,” said Ms. Pyritz, seated with her five children in their home at Fort Eustis near Virginia Beach. “I backed this war from the beginning, but I don’t think I can look my kids in the eyes anymore, if my husband comes home in a wooden box, and tell them he died for a good reason.”

She said her views began changing late last year as the administration seemed slow to release information about the chaos unfolding in Baghdad and crystallized when military deployments were extended to 15 months from 12 months.

See Entire Article


He scares me...

Murali Destroys Bangladesh

Look at these numbers:

1st innings
Bowler O M R W
Muralitharan 14.5 6 28 6

2nd innings
Bowler O M R W
Muralitharan 21.0 5 54 6

Bangladesh never had a chance!

Match Report


There were more black players on the 1950 Brooklyn Dodgers than the 2007 Los Angeles Dodgers.

might they never lose again?

Chase Utley had four of Philadelphia's season-high 23 hits Friday as the Phils pummeled the Cards.
Utley hit his 16th homer and wound up driving in three runs as Philly again avoided becoming the first team in professional sports history to reach 10,000 losses. Utley is batting .331 with 66 runs and 71 RBI. Greg Dobbs also had four hits and scored once, while Jimmy Rollins was 3-for-4 with two runs and three RBI as the Phils came within four hits of matching the franchise record.

Friday, July 13, 2007

Well, that oughtda do it

Or maybe it's just inflation...

Senate doubles Bin Laden reward

LoC creating a buzz on da internets


I just stumbled across your sports blog and I'm really impressed. A
lot of good stuff!

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create an account.

Then click the big blue "write a sports article" button to write.
Skeptical? Feel free to cross-publish one of your recent articles.
We don't mind!

Let me know if you have any questions.

So, what's your porn name

"I was always told the way to get your pornstar name was to take the name of your first pet and the name of the first streen you lived on. the pet's name being your first name and the street name being your last such my would be "jody woodway" and i'm trademarking it right now so if I see it lawsuits will follow....:-P"

I believe that makes me "Sandy Meadow". If you have a really good one, you can submit it here


Darin Erstad said Thursday that his injured ankle is "starting to turn the corner," but no timetable for his recovery has been laid out yet. "But like I said, you have another setback, and it's not looking real good,'' Erstad said. ''We are going to make sure it's right. Hopefully on this road trip sometime, I'll get out of here and go play some games.''


Kerry Wood (arm) is expected to throw in a Rookie League game at Mesa, Ariz. in the next few days.
"Get his feet wet," general manager Jim Hendry said. "And if that goes well, we'll continue with his rehab program the next couple of weeks. … Let's be guardedly optimistic. We've all been down this path before, but when he left here the last homestand, he had a little bounce in his step, and he has thrown well in Arizona since he left here." Wood could join the Cubs' bullpen in early August if his rehab continues to go smoothly. Also expect to see flying monkeys invade Wrigley Field...

in dat case - fuhgeddaboutit

Do you want Mark Cuban to be the next owner of the Cubs?
Yes (6786 responses)
No (2719 responses)

9505 total responses
(Poll results idiotic)

We are living in a golden age (cont)

Continental Express to mum: Shut your baby up by drugging him, or else.

America's next great fiery actor

Mather Zickel as dis guy.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

also, 90% of their brains...

Humans share 90 percent of their genes with sea anemones.

something for the President to consider...

The Pittsburgh Public Schools, noting that low student achievement has hurt the image of public schools, announced it will confront the problem by dropping the word "Public" from its name and becoming the Pittsburgh Schools.

anudder idiotic thing Dumbya said...

"See, free nations are peaceful nations. Free nations don't attack each other. Free nations don't develop weapons of mass destruction."--yes, he actually said it in Milwaukee on 10/3/03

yep, the $#!+ blowing up kind

"Well, we've made the decision to defeat the terrorists abroad so we don't have to face them here at home. And when you engage the terrorists abroad, it causes activity and action."--Da RezzziDUNCE; Washington, DC; 4/28/05

Junk Mail

This is what passes for spam these days...

Let's say I break into your house

A lady wrote the best letter in the Editorials in ages!!! It explains things better than all the baloney you hear on TV.

Her point:

Recently large demonstrations have taken place across the country protesting the fact that Congress is finally addressing the issue of illegal immigration.

Certain people are angry that the US might protect its own borders, might make it harder to sneak into this country and, once here, to stay indefinitely. Let me see if I correctly understand the thinking behind these protests. Let's say I break into your house.Let's say that when you discover me in your house, you insist that I leave. But I say, "I've made all the beds and washed the dishes and did the laundry and swept the floors. I've done all the things you don't like to do. I'm hard-workingand honest (except for when I broke into your house).

According to the protesters:
You are Required to let me stay in your house
You are Required to add me to your family's insurance plan
You are Required to Ed ucate my kids
You are Required to Provide other benefits to me & to my family (my husband will do all of your yard work becausehe is also hard-working and honest , except for that breaking in part).

If you try to call the police or force me out, I will call my friends who will picket your house carrying signs that proclaim my RIGHT to be there.

It's only fair, after all, because you have a nicer house than I do, and I'm just trying to better myself. I'm a hard-working and honest, person, excep t for well, you know, I did break into your house And what a deal it is for me!!!

I live in your house, contributing only a fraction of the cost of my keep, and there is nothing you can do about it without being accused of cold, uncaring, selfish, prejudiced, and bigoted behavior.

Oh yeah, I DEMAND that you to learn MY LANGUAGE!!! so you can communicate with me.

Why can't people see how ridiculous this is?! Only in America if you agree, pass it on (in English). Share it if you see the value of it.

If not blow it off......... along with your future Social Security funds, and a lot of other things.

you know there ain't much pitching left when...

7. 2) Mike 184 Ryan Rowland-Smiff P Sea

Though he could be the next Graeme Lloyd...

age discrimination?

Mets designated first baseman Julio Franco for assignment.
Franco could muster just one extra-base hit while batting .200 in 50 at-bats this season. If it came down to him or Sandy Alomar Jr., Franco should have stuck around. However, Alomar also figures to go at some point and Franco wasn't happy with such a limited role anyway. He'll try to catch on with another team and continue his quest to play until age 50.

More Trouble for Apple

iPods are far less cool when hit by lightning

Free Scooter! (cont'd!)

Thompson: jackass?

There's a Scooter Libby Legal Defense Fund?

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Aren't they spelled Bazongas?

I rest my case...
Google hits:
Bazongas 22,200
Bazoongas 13,800

Bazoongas banned in Saskatchewan
References to bullying, breasts, and the word “bazoongas” have made a children’s book nominated for a Saskatchewan award too hot to handle for a school in the southwestern part of the province. The librarian at Elizabeth School in Kindersley objected to a scene in Nikki Tate’s Trouble on Tarragon Island where the young heroine is teased about her activist grandmother posing seminude in a calendar, with taunts about her grandmother’s saggy breasts, or “bazoongas.”...

note to Sam Brownback

Go phokk yourself.

Senator seeks to increase FCC’s profanity power
Senator and presidential candidate Sam Brownback (R-Kans.)—who helped get the FCC’s indecency fines increased tenfold in 2006—said he will offer two amendments to a general government appropriations bill July 12, one that would “continue support for the FCC to fine broadcasters who air indecent, profane, or obscene content,” and another that would “fine broadcasters for airing excessively violent content during the hours when children are most likely to be in the audience.”...Broadcasting & Cable, July 10

in udder werds, we can all go phokk ourselves

Even if the Democrats win the White House and hold the Senate, the court's demographics are likely to trump politics. The average age of the four more liberal justices is 74; the five conservatives average a youthful (for federal judges) 61, with Chief Justice John G. Roberts Jr. the youngest at 52.

respect for the law at an ALL TIME LOW

Leaker invokes Libby commutation in plea for leniency

SARA CISCO — An attorney who admitted leaking the confidential grand jury testimony of slugger Barry Bonds to the media asked a federal judge for leniency Tuesday, noting that President Bush commuted I. Lewis "Scooter" "Stooge" "Fall Guy" "Not Dick 'Dick' (Dick) Dick" "Wrong Guy" Libby's prison sentence for a similar crime.

In doing so, Troy Ellerman joins a growing a list of defendants across the country who have made the same arguments for leniency since Bush said the former vice presidential aide's 2½-year sentence for leaking the name of a CIA operative was too harsh and commuted it to probation and a fine.

Ellerman was a successful Sacramento attorney (in udder werds, not one of those minorities who belongs in prison) when Victor Conte, founder of the Bay Area Laboratory Co-Operative, hired him following the raid on the Burlingame nutritional supplements lab, as part of the government probe.

Ellerman pleaded guilty to four felony counts of obstruction of justice and related charges in February.

His lawyer, Scott Tedmon, urged the judge to consider Libby's commutation when he sentences Ellerman on Thursday.

"As with Mr. Libby, Troy Ellerman is a (white lawyer type) first-time offender with (white lawyer type) years of exceptional work as an (white lawyer type) attorney in both the (white) public and (lawyer) private sectors," Tedmon argued in the court filing... (you know, he's just like you and me... it would be like sending one of us to prison...)

Tedmon noted that Libby and Ellerman were both convicted of leaking confidential information to reporters and then lying to investigators.

But he said there was one dramatic difference between their cases: "Mr. Libby's conduct involved matters of national security, while Mr. Ellerman's conduct has no nexus to national security." (Sounds like dis Tedman feller is really starting to hate freedom...)

Tedmon said in an interview Tuesday that both men have suffered embarrassment... (well then... isn't that punishment enough?)

Sick of the iPhone?

This should help

Longing for the stone age

The kids were so well behaved back then...

China blames Internet for rise in teen pregnancies

he got dat right

Nate Silver:
"Also, there's a huge "IMPEACH" sign just beyond McCovey Cove in right field but the odds of Fox showing that on TV are hundreds to one against."

better get there before they close...

Seventeen cases of a food-borne illness are apparently linked to a booth at the Taste of Chicago, the first confirmed outbreak of illness associated with the event in 20 years, city health officials said today. People who ate at the Pars Cove Persian Cuisine booth and who feel ill should consult a doctor, according to a news release from the Chicago Department of Public Health.

All Star Break Update

Monks: 1st Place; Crab Queens beaten into submission, giving up, trading everything...
Fants: 1st Place, just riding a wave...
Triple Dog Dare: you got it, 1st place (notice a theme here?)
Wyvernz: if the season ended today, in the playoffs (and 4 games ahead of the Bandits)
Cherries: still in 2nd place despite all the injuries and carrying K-Mad...
Hummingbirds: 3 games out of the playoffs, but leading the league in pitching, and pitching wins. Smeltz in the rear view mirror...

Dog Days Update

A dog standing 6-foot-5 on its hind legs was reported in Britain, while another dog was uninjured after a 50-foot fall over the Dog Falls waterfall in Scotland, on the seventh dog day of summer.

road trip?

We still have three days to make it to the Moose Droppings Festival in Talkeetna, Alaska.

we are living in a golden age (cont'd)

Toilet paper gadget debuts
A company has rolled out the first automatic toilet tissue dispenser.
» No touching required
Watch how it works

Next innovation: an automatic ass whiper.

Who's to blame for our shitty health care system?

Dumbya says--you guessed it--YOU are

He is such a fucking asshole.

Isn't Satan higher than this?

Dick "Dick" (DICK!) Cheney's Approval Rating at 13%

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Still want to convert me, Sarge?

Not while this guy's in charge...

Pope: Other Christians Not True Churches

Chicago ain't da only city dat works...

San Diego has paid off councilmembers, too:

Frye votes to allow Wal-Mart

The San Diego City Council essentially balks at its own ban of Wal-Mart Supercenters with full-service groceries after Councilwoman Donna Frye surprisingly announces she would switch her vote.


Storms race through Chicago area
A line of storms moving through the Chicago area this afternoon was bringing heavy wind, small hail and wind gusts over 60 m.p.h., signaling the beginning of the end...


Another Republican who can’t keep his zipper zipped

Sen. David Vitter (R-La.) apologized last night after his telephone number appeared in the phone records of the woman dubbed the “D.C. Madam,” making him the first member of Congress to become ensnared in the high-profile case.

He's also a schizophrenic:

"I asked for and received forgiveness from God..."

When i talk to God and ask forgiveness for my various peccadillos, s/he never responds... what is Smiff doing wrong?

Poetic Justice

This is how Corms passed the time while looking for a new jaab after the Mexicans took his old jaab away...

A Web Cadre Turns the Tables on African Scam Artists

I Demand a recount

East Coast bias rears its ugly head once again...

Vt. town named 'Simpsons' official home

We know who to blame.

These are the people responsible for Bush being presidunce.

i have a 'gut feeling' this guy couldn't run a taco stand

Chertoff: 'Gut feeling' terrorists will attack
The Homeland Security secretary makes a dire prediction.
• Video: 'We're still a target' (no shit, Sherlock)

Smiff Cottage Industries noted again by Chicago media

in QT today...

Lazy dogs of summer

Michael L. Smith, a San Diego, Calif., reader, writes:

"Is it the dog days of summer yet?"

This is the seventh dog day of summer, with 31 days to go.

The first man to bite a dog this year, in Yangfan, China, bit the dog on the first day of dog days.

There is not much other dog news to report, except for a dog nursing a stray kitten in Victoria, Texas.

These being the dog days of summer.

In related news...

Marcel Proust, who wrote, "We must never be afraid to go too far, for truth lies beyond," was born 136 years ago on the second day of National Nude Recreation Week.


NBA player robbed in home invasion

will Smiff be heard from again?

Tuesday...Cloudy in the morning...becoming partly cloudy. Slight chance of showers and thunderstorms. Highs 68 to 73 near the coast to 73 to 78 inland. Light winds. Chance of measurable precipitation 20 percent.

Monday, July 9, 2007


you got dis on yer library search engine page?

We're celebrating the 25th anniversary of the release of the movie Tron! Which might be the greatest movie EVER made! As relevant today as the day it was released...

Sark: You certainly are persistant, Tron.
Tron: I'm also better than you!

ya call dat a... a... ok, what do ya call dat den?

Record rainfall – such as it is – possible today

SAN DIEGO – There's a slight chance that the coast could see record-breaking rain Monday. But no need to put up the storm shutters.

The record for the date in San Diego is a trace, and not much more than that is likely.


are you guys having weather again?

Weather warnings, watches
The National Weather Service says to be on the lookout for strong storms with up to 70 m.p.h. gusts. Also, locusts, flyin' monkeys, and cats and dogs livin' together...
Severe weather update (totally phokked!)
WGN Weather Center Blog (they've got to be kidding!!)

Currently in San Diego:
70, with a slight beeze, and a few clouds!

when do the oil profits start rolling in?

Report: Iraq war costing U.S. $12BEEEEEELLION a month

I've already subscribed!

New Pompous Asshole Magazine To Compete With Cigar Aficionado
NEW YORK—Upscale consumers who enjoy cigars, wine, and "all the finer things in life" will have a new magazine to enjoy beginning next month when Pompous Asshole hits the stands. Targeted at the 23- to 60-year-old pompous-asshole demographic, the new monthly magazine is expected to compete directly with Cigar Aficionado for advertising dollars. "Pompous Asshole is the magazine of the good life," said publisher Paul Westman, "And, unlike Cigar Aficionado, we truly cover it all: From tips on choosing the right humidor to advice on where to gamble in Monte Carlo to the lowdown on the new Jaguar XJ8, Pompous Asshole is the magazine no rich prick can afford to be without."

what is wrong with this picture?

Manager Tony La Russa will go with a lineup of SS Jose Reyes, LF Barry Bonds, CF Carlos Beltran, RF Ken Griffey Jr., 3B David Wright, 1B Prince Fielder, C Russell Martin, 2B Chase Utley and Peavy.

I'll tells ya: Utley has the 3rd highest OPS on the team, inc. 155 points on Beltran. Is La Russa's slide rule broken?

maybe he should have tried it

"The public education system in America is one of the most important foundations of our democracy. After all, it is where children from all over America learn to be responsible citizens, and learn to have the skills necessary to take advantage of our fantastic opportunistic society."--Da RezzziDUNCE; 5/1/02

also hilarious...who knew Dumbya had a sense of irony

Sometimes the president doesn't follow precedents

Item: Victor Rita, a decorated Marine veteran of the Vietnam and Gulf wars, appeals a 33-month sentence for lying to a grand jury about an alleged purchase of parts to make an illegal gun.
News Item: Bush administration argues successfully in Supreme Court against Rita's appeal for a lighter sentence.
But this was surely to set in motion a presidential commutation for a man who served his country and was charged with no other crime than lying.
Wait. Why are you laughing?
What did QT say that was so funny?

now THIS is comedy!

Hmmm, doesn't mention when he will be volunteering to go to Iraq and join the fight...

Santorum criticizes GOP senators' Iraq revolt
Former GOP senator Rick Santorum believes his staunch defense of the Iraq War helped lead to his defeat. But he still believes U.S. troops need to continue the fight.

Funny, funny stuff:

After losing his seat last fall, Santorum became a senior fellow at the Ethics and Public Policy Center, a Washington think tank dedicated to applying “Judeo-Christian moral tradition to critical issues of public policy.” Which means: invade and bomb countries back to the phokking stone age.

And, praise Jesus, we have this to look forward to:

He’s also writing a book on radical Islam and global terrorism.

what is America searching?

Today's Top Searches
1. Dalai Lama
2. Guacamole
3. Xbox 360
4. Calgary Stampede
5. Beyonce
6. Smashing Pumpkins
7. Zorse
8. W-9 Form
9. Venus Williams

Not on the list:
U.S. military deaths in Iraq at 3,605
18 police recruits among 49 dead / String of bombings makes Iraq death toll soar over weekend
Bush Not Bringing U.S. Troops Home From Iraq Now (if ever)

wait, hold on...

10. George W. Bush

Sunday, July 8, 2007

He will be missed.

Erik Bedard struck out 15 in a two-hit shutout of the Rangers on Saturday.
So much for the dead arm. Bedard blew right through the Texas lineup three times tonight, facing the minimum 27 batters. He gave up singles to Desi Relaford and Sammy Sosa, only to erase both runners on double plays. The 15 strikeouts tied a the Orioles' franchise record and bested his previous high by three. He currently leads the majors with 149 strikeouts.