Saturday, September 15, 2007

Smiff flying into Chicago for a dollar?

Skimpy fares, thanks to Kyla?
Southwest Airlines, after getting grief for telling a young woman her outfit was too revealing to fly, is now using the brouhaha as a marketing ploy - announcing a fare sale to honor miniskirts.
Original no-fly column

Friday, September 14, 2007

ok, i will call it: The Idiotic Ramblings of a Mental Midget

"And so, in my State of the--my State of the Union--or state--my speech to the nation, whatever you want to call it, speech to the nation--I asked Americans to give four thousand years--four thousand hours over the next--the rest of your life--of service to America. That's what I asked--four thousand hours."--Bridgeport, CT; 4/9/02

"Anyway, after we go out and work our hearts out, after you go out and help us turn out the vote, after we've convinced the good Americans to vote, and while they're at it, pull that old George W. lever, if I'm the one, when I put my hand on the bible, when I put my hand on the Bible, that day when they swear us in, when I put my hand on the Bible, I will swear to not--to uphold the laws of the land."--Toledo, OH; 10/27/00

How is America wasting their day at work?

Today's Top Searches
1. Lamborghini Reventón
2. Vanessa Hudgens
3. Vladimir Putin
4. South Carolina Football
5. Fennel
6. Rosh Hashanah
7. USS Nimitz
8. Mr. Woodcock
9. Patti Scialfa
10. Gorillas

I can't wait for the low speed chase

Simpson named suspect in casino break-in

Smiff Miffed? (cont)

What would Walt Disney think? Oregon's Duck mascot has been suspended for a game because of an altercation with the Houston Cougar in the season opener. The Duck became upset when the Cougar imitated one of the Duck's trademarks, push-ups for total points after each touchdown in front of the students. Next thing you know, the Cougar was on the ground and Duck appeared to be punching him repeatedly. Although some thought it was staged, turns out it wasn't. Several students fill the role of the Duck mascot. Specific discipline was not disclosed. Oregon uses the Donald Duck character as its mascot under a special agreement with Disney. "Official representatives of the athletics department must be held to higher standards," Oregon athletic director Pat Kilkenny said.

Video Evidence...

That's it?

Belichick, Patriots Fined

If there's a rule against filming opposition coaches during the game, and then you film opposition coaches during the game, you should forfeit the game. Period. The Patriots will give Belichick back the money he got fined - he won't lose. First round pick lost? Feh, so many of those guys end up duds anyway. "It had no impact on the game." How the phokk do they know? But if you want to send a message, you make them forfeit the game. None of this fining crap.

A stupid column from Mike Hunt

I've never heard of this guy before, but his parents must not have liked him too much to have given him that name.

Cubs still the choking kind

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Penguins corrupting America's youth...

Fight censorship and celebrate the freedom to read by picking up a Banned Book during the months of September and October! Banned Book week runs from September 29 to October 6. Last year, the American Library Association’s (ALA) Office for Intellectual Freedom received 546 challenges, or written complaints requesting that materials be removed because of content or inappropriateness.
"And Tango Makes Three" topped ALA's 2006 list of most challenged books. The book is a true story about two male penguins parenting an egg and was the most challenged books in 2006, due to the issues of homosexuality. In addition, the list also features two books by author Toni Morrison. "The Bluest Eye" and "Beloved" are on the list due to sexual content and offensive language.
The "10 Most Challenged Books of 2006" reflect a range of themes. Off the list this year, but on for several years past, are the "Catcher in the Rye" by J.D. Salinger, "Of Mice and Men" by John Steinbeck and "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn" by Mark Twain. Click here for a link to the "10 Most Challenged Books of 2006".

somebody get Hendry a drool cup

Steve (Baltimore, MD): Nate Silver today called the Steve Trachsel trade "one of the worst in the past several seasons." Is he being overly harsh, or did the O's pull of a steal?
Christina Kahrl: The O's pulled off a steal. I wrote about that a bit in the edition of TA that will be up within 24 hours, but yes, it's a genuinely great move. It would have been a solid pickup if they'd only gotten Cherry, and that's even if Cherry only wound up being a useful situational right-hander. Cherry might be better than that, but Moore can be the lefty side of a quality platoon at third base.

I, I have authoritah?

I see all sorts of pencils and screwdrives & wrenches all over the place. Does this mean I have authoritah? Ooh, can't wait to start tinkering...

Hmmm, i wonder what a large price to pay would be?

Boehner: U.S. Soldier’s Blood A “Small Price” To Pay In Iraq

His name is pronounced BO-NURR. And he's from Ohio? Shocking.

Can we recall him?

Blago on his "gift" to the CTA:

Gov. Rod Blagojevich: "I would say that they should not look a gift horse in the mouth—[the money] is nothing to sneeze at. If someone came to me and said, 'Here is $24-$25 million, we want to help you and we also promise to work on a long-term solution, as we've been doing for months and months,' it seems to me, pretty ungrateful if they turn down this help."

So his "gift" is an advance on next year's money, so it's not really a gift, as they would have had that money anyway. Then he promises to work on something he should have been working on all of this summer. What a maroon. The RTA should just say NO. But they won't, so we'll do it all again end of next month.

Tips for surviving in the big city

Next time you go looking for a hooker, make sure the wife's in the car with you...

It was Rocio Palacios who first noticed the woman who appeared to need help.

It was 8 a.m. when she and her husband, Erasmo, dropped their 6-year-old daughter off at school and had picked up their 22-year-old daughter to go out for breakfast when they saw the woman waving her arms at 53rd Street and Kedzie Avenue last November.

The Palacioses, of Chicago, claim the woman approached their car, parked outside Manolo’s restaurant, leaned in to the passenger side where Rocio was sitting and asked Erasmo if he wanted oral sex for $20 or sex for $25.

The couple laughed, realizing this wasn’t a woman in distress after all.

But within seconds, Chicago police swarmed the family car, hauling Erasmo Palacios out in handcuffs. He was charged with solicitation of a prostitute

His daughter, who had just run in to exchange her coffee for a hot chocolate, screamed, while his wife cried in fear.

Eight hours later, Palacios, who has no criminal record, was released from custody. And weeks later, charges against him were dropped.

Now, Erasmo Palacios is suing the city and the officers involved in his arrest, saying they violated his civil rights during an incident he described as both frightening and ridiculous.

“I’m so lucky I was with my wife -- imagine if I had to try to tell her and she wasn’t with me,” he said, before laughing at the image. “She’d never believe me. Never.”

A Chicago police report offers few details, saying only that it was Erasmo Palacios who asked for sex, never mentioning his wife in the car or his daughter nearby.

Attorneys Lonny Ben Ogus and Joe Cavanaugh also want to know what happened to the family’s 1983 Mercedes. It was impounded that November day and, Palacios said, his wife and daughter were even threatened with arrest as they tried to stop police from taking it, as they were left stranded that morning.

The city wants more than $4,700 in towing and storage fees if he wants the car back.

City officials declined to comment on the status of the family’s car and the Palacios case, while the undercover female officer involved in the arrest couldn’t be reached.

Copyright 2007, Sun-Times News Group

Darwin Award Nominee (cont)

Well, mebbe not, since this one was deliberate...

Allen Park police find man's body, guillotine in wooded area
Associated Press

ALLEN PARK, Mich. - The body of a 41-year-old man was found in a wooded area next to a guillotine he built and used to kill himself, police said. The man, from the Detroit suburb of Melvindale, was discovered Monday by workers from a shopping center near his home. Allen Park Deputy Police Chief Dale Covert said the roughly six-foot tall guillotine was bolted to a tree and included a swing arm. Covert said police also found several store receipts detailing the materials used to assemble the device.

"I can't even tell you how long it must have taken him to construct," he said. "This man obviously was very determined to end his life."

It was a Republic, but we couldn't keep it.

The constitution establishes America as a Christian Nation!

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

We are living in a golden age (cont)

Trio Jailed for Fish-Bait 'Heroin'
By Associated Press
3:43 PM CDT, September 12, 2007

LEBANON, Ohio - Three people who mixed vinegar with catfish bait and tried to sell it as heroin got hooked by undercover officers. Authorities said the three also tried to sell fake LSD. John Burke, director of the Greater Warren County Drug Task Force, said he didn't know what might happen if someone actually injected a bait-vinegar concoction. Authorities don't know whether anyone else bought the counterfeit drug. "We have gotten no reports of anyone else getting them, but quite frankly the people who may have gotten them aren't likely to report it," prosecutor Rachel Hutzel said Wednesday.

William Perry, 22, of Columbus, and Rosanne Wead, 20, of Piqua, each pleaded guilty Tuesday in Warren County Common Pleas Court to a count of trafficking in counterfeit controlled substances. A third person, Jerry Snowden, 27, of Piqua, pleaded guilty last month to a counterfeit substance charge. He was sentenced to 18 months in prison. Wead was sentenced to six months in prison; Perry has not been sentenced.

Lebanon is about 25 miles north of Cincinnati.

Wow. Who knew there was a law against selling fake illegal drugs? And how do these penalties compare to selling the real stuff?

Seems Appropriate

when dumb thoughts happen to dumb people

An important New York Times/CBS News survey finds that six years after the terror attacks of 9/11, "33 percent of all Americans, including 40 percent of Republicans and 27 percent of Democrats, say Saddam Hussein was personally involved."

Cutn Runnah

Obama Outlines His Troop Pullout Plan

"Let me be clear: There is no military solution in Iraq and there never was," Obama said in excerpts of the speech provided to The Associated Press.

"The best way to protect our security and to pressure Iraq's leaders to resolve their civil war is to immediately begin to remove our combat troops. Not in six months or one year -- now," the Illinois senator says.

Who're the commies again?

Government fighting to get between you and your cheeseburger

Mebbe I should go to Billy Goat's for lunch...

also: don't read, watch Fox News, generally be an idiot...

Iraq Update

News Item (2004): President Bush says "we're turning the corner" in Iraq.
News Item (2005): Vice President Cheney says "we've turned the corner" in Iraq.
News Item (2006): President Bush says we are at "a turning point" in Iraq.
News Item (2007): Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.), returned from Iraq tour, says "we have turned the corner."

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Cranky Art Teacher

Or mebbe he's just lazy...

Vegan teacher to skip school

An art teacher removed from the classroom for encouraging pupils not to eat meat vowed Monday not to return to Fox River Grove Middle School until it eliminates milk and all other animal products from the lunch menu.

Dave Warwak, 44, also said he plans to ask the McHenry County state's attorney to file child-endangerment charges against the school district because the school continues to promote milk and other animal products as part of a healthy diet.

"I can't really see working there as long as those milk posters are up and they keep feeding poison to the kids," said Warwak of Williams Bay, Wis., who said he began his vegan lifestyle in January.


White Sox signed manager Ozzie Guillen to a multiyear contract extension through the 2012 season.

Only 5 years? why not 10?

Smiff harrassing Skilly?

see immediate previous post

O’Reilly wants to sacrifice another 1000 soldiers for the SURGE!

potential martyrs might want to ask: why don't you go first?

Bin Laden wants 'caravan' of martyrs

If Smiff suddenly goes silent...

...though maybe that's good news for some of you...

Recent quakes a wake-up call?
The good news: The series of seven quakes that has rattled the region* during the past week and a half probably doesn't mean The Big One is more likely to hit soon. The Big One is probably not any less likely, either. [Sounds like some sKILLy-esque bull$hit to me...]

*I haven't felt any of them...

Darwin Award Nominee?

Mother dies after 2 kids killed in mini-van, train collision
Video caught woman trying to race a freight train at a Hammond railroad crossing

A mother caught on video more than a week ago trying to race a freight train with her mini-van in northwest Indiana, before two of her children were killed when their vehicle was hit by two trains, died of her injuries early today.

Edie Bolanos, 32, of Hammond was pronounced dead at 2:10 a.m. at Loyola University Medical Center in Maywood, where she had been in critical condition since the Sept. 1 crash in Hammond, according to the Cook County medical examiner's office.

Her death comes after two of her children, Crystal Bolanos, 11, and Anahi Bolanos, 8, were killed outside the Northern Indiana Commuter Transportation District's Hammond station. Her two sons were treated for their injuries at the University of Chicago Comer Children's Hospital and released.

Link to story & video

The footage, which was captured by several cameras, showed a 1999 Mercury Villager moving at a high rate of speed through the station's parking lot alongside an eastbound freight train. The video showed the Villager turning south onto the Johnson Avenue crossing before it was struck by a westbound train, then by the eastbound train.

Both freights were operated by CSX Corp. of Florida, and the crash took place on the CSX rail line, not far from the South Shore Line station.

Edie Bolanos worked on the assembly line at a window company.

"Light Blip" Problems

While dark blips worry about food, water, "liberators" outstaying their welcome, light blips have huge philosophical battles, such as:

EU gives up on 'metric Britain'

Monday, September 10, 2007

add brawls to the list of things that ain't what they used to be...

Kid Rock, Tommy Lee brawl

Tommy Lee and Kid Rock's skirmish, over ex Pamela Anderson, is caught on MTV's cameras.

They don't get within 20 feet of each other... Though this reminds me of the time Decker and i had a throwdown over "the last onion ring."

Does this mean I lose points?

Were the Patriots stealing signals from the Jets?

add MVP credentials to the list of things that ain't what they used to be

Aaron Hill (.753 OPS), with his 15th homer of the season Sunday, is closing in on the Toronto club record for home runs in a season by a second baseman. Hill is just two behind the team record of 17 long balls by a keystone cornerman, set by Robbie Alomar in 1993. Hill's exploits are certainly catching the right people's eyes: "Arguably, he's our MVP this season," Jays manager John "The Idiot" Gibbons said.

This was surprising to them?

Steve Trachesel's poor performance Sunday has put his spot in the rotation in jeopardy. "We have to think about this," Cubs' manager Lou Piniella said. "I don't know what we're going to do. We'll know in the next couple of days. There's no sense in rushing into any decisions about anything."

QT shtealing from Smiff (con'td)

Hu? Watt? I don't know

September 10, 2007
BY ZAY N. SMITH Sun-Times Columnist

Mike Kuper, a Downers Grove reader, regarding the Los Angeles Dodgers calling up shortstop Chin-lung Hu from the minors, making it only a matter of time before Hu hits a single, with predictable results, writes:
"The Dodgers have an 18-year-old pitcher in the minors named Michael Watt. If Chin-lung Hu can stay with the Dodgers, and if the Dodgers someday call up Michael Watt, and if Hu follows Watt in the order, and if both get singles. . . ."

All I'm trying to find out is what's the guy's name on first base.

No. Watt is on second base.

I'm not asking you who's on second.

Hu's on first.

I'm only asking you, who's the guy on first base?

That's right. . . .

Well. We can dream, can't we?

This should really go on the Spades Marathon Blog...

I have the South Side edition of the Baseball Heroes Playing Cards. The Ozzie Guillen card will be going up once I have it scanned in...

Down Goes Smiff

Smiff will lose to Sarge in week 1. How embarrasing for you. $#!+ really blew up in your face this time. Oh, if only you were playing Corms this week, who may squeak by the Nobber with the 7th best score of the week.

Oh yes, we will be buying Stattracker for our weekend viewing pleasure. So anytime you want to know who's leading at what time, gimme a call. I only promise to answer those who have helped pay for it...

Sunday, September 9, 2007

Phokk You Sports

1st Quarter
Nate Kaeding kicked a 33-yard field goal
0 - 3

2nd Quarter
Robbie Gould kicked a 27-yard field goal
3 - 0

But was there a bounce in his step?

Nomar Garciaparra (calf) sat out Saturday's game but is expected back in the lineup Sunday. Garciaparra said his entire body was sore (even his hair!) when he woke up Saturday morning, but that the soreness in his left calf wasn't anything out of the ordinary. "He was anxious to get back in there and it looked like he was anxious to make things happen when he got to the plate," manager Grady Little said. "I'm sure he'll get it going."

Meanwhile, Andy LaRoche sits on the bench.


Bottom 2nd: Pittsburgh
- A. LaRoche doubled to deep right
- J. Bautista grounded out to second, A. LaRoche to third
- S. Pearce singled to center, A. LaRoche scored
- R. Paulino flied out to left
- J. Wilson doubled to deep center, S. Pearce scored
- M. Morris singled to left, J. Wilson to third
- N. Morgan singled to center, J. Wilson scored, M. Morris to second
- M. Morris to third, N. Morgan to second on wild pitch
- N. McLouth walked
- F. Sanchez tripled to deep center, M. Morris, N. McLouth and N. Morgan scored, F. Sanchez out at home

6 runs, 6 hits, 0 errors
Chi Cubs 2, Pittsburgh 6