Most predictable thing ever: Charlie Sheen bails Lenny Dykstra out of jail

Of course this happened:

Charlie Sheen paid $22,500 to bail former New York Mets and Philadelphia Phillies outfielder Lenny “Nails” Dykstra out of jail, TMZ reported Tuesday.

Nails had been jailed for bankruptcy fraud. When he bailed him out, Sheen said some bullsh** about him being a Vatican assassin and him being a warlock or something. No, I’m not making that up.

If there is any justice in the world, this is the opening act of dramatic road trip with those two which ends with both of them driving off a cliff, “Thelma and Louise”-style. Which would be an absolute insult to Thelma and Louise, each of whom are fictional characters with far more real world worth than either of these two doorknobs have.

Who is K-Mad going to kick around now?

Lou Dobbs is outta here.

100% of Lou Dobbs 35 viewers are sad.

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G. Gordon Liddy: fecund... and an idiot... and ready to launch... and frying his brain on human growth hormone...

Gee, Gordon, in 2009: "I understand that they found out today that Miss Sotomayor is a member of La Raza, which means in illegal alien, 'the race.' And that should not surprise anyone because she’s already on record with a number of racist comments... Let’s hope that the key conferences aren’t when she’s menstruating or something, or just before she’s going to menstruate. That would really be bad. Lord knows what we would get then."

Gee, Gordon, in 2002: "I am often asked my secret for remaining virile, vigorous, potent and fecund. (Really? How often? Because this news surprises me... Ed.) The secret is that, in addition to not smoking or drinking alcohol, exercising and following a diet low in calories, fat and red meat and high in fish, I have for some time been taking a Human Growth Hormone Releasant specially formulated for me and heretofore not available to the public. Now, under the brand name Nature's Youth HGH, the exact formula I have been using is available to you. My secret is out. Nature's Youth HGH is how I stay 'Good to Go and Ready to Launch!'"

something truly 'shocking'

News headline: Blagojevich pleads 'not guilty'
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Thanks for the warning, DICK

Cheney warns of new attacks, curses purifying rays of the sun

Former Vice President Dick "Dick" (Dick) Dick Cheney warned that there is a "high probability" that terrorists will attempt a catastrophic nuclear or biological attack in coming years, and said he fears the Obama administration’s policies will make it more likely the attempt will succeed.

I don't doubt the first part for a moment, but the second part sounds pretty assfaced coming from the guys who did such a swell job in 2001...
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Blago finds his soulmate

Roland Burris's Monument to Me

Roland Burris, the man Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich picked to succeed Barack Obama in the Senate, might get to etch another accolade into the monument he built for himself if this appointment goes through. . .

Classy Move

From Raw Story we get a sense of Bush's post-presidential life and yet another peek at his sensitivity and his understanding of the role he has taken on as president by examining his choice of rezzzidunce:

"When the Bushes are here full time, I imagine we'll be here full time," said Officer Michael Bratcher of the Dallas Police Department, who was directing traffic.

But the exclusive Dallas community the Bush family will soon join has a troubled history of its own.

Until 2000, the neighborhood association's covenant said only white people were allowed to live there, though an exception was made for servants. [my own bolding because I love it so much]

Enacted in 1956, part of the original document reads: "Said property shall be used and occupied by white persons except those shall not prevent occupancy by domestic servants of different race or nationality in the employ of a tenant."

Washington Post is SHOCKED to discover that McCain is an @SSHOLE

With a phony flap and a misleading attack ad, the McCain campaign sinks into silliness

How come the minute somebody mentions the word "pig," the Rethuglicans think they're talking about Palin? Oh... ok I guess I do kinda see that...

IT'S HARD to think of a presidential campaign with a wider chasm between the seriousness of the issues confronting the country and the triviality, so far anyway, of the political discourse. On a day when the Congressional Budget Office warned of looming deficits and a grim economic outlook, when the stock market faltered even in the wake of the government's rescue of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, when President Bush discussed the road ahead in Iraq and Afghanistan, on what did the campaign of Sen. John McCain spend its energy? A conference call to denounce Sen. Barack Obama for using the phrase "lipstick on a pig" and a new television ad accusing the Democrat of wanting to teach kindergartners about sex before they learn to read.

Mr. Obama's supposedly offending remark was not only not offensive -- it also was not directed at Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin.
. . .

"Obama's one accomplishment?" the narrator asks. "Legislation to teach 'comprehensive sex education' -- to kindergartners. Learning about sex before learning to read? Barack Obama: wrong on education. Wrong for your family."

John McCain is a serious man who promised to wage a serious campaign. Win or lose, will he be able to look back on this one with pride? Right now, it's hard to see how.

Why isn't this @ss#ole in jail? He is? Oh... good...

Although Abramoff expressed remorse Thursday, he also has spent his time in prison cooperating with a book that portrays him much differently: as a victim of Washington politics.

158 days of the BRAIN-DEAD MORON left...

Apparently, they have some standards

Zimbabwean strongman/asshole Robert Mugabe kept out of China...

Beijing sends Mugabe packing Sydney Morning Herald

ZIMBABWE'S President, Robert Mugabe, has been forced to return home following intense political pressure from the Chinese Communist Party not to attend Friday night's opening ceremony of the Beijing Olympic Games. The Herald understands high-powered lobbying from political leaders who will be attending the ceremony prompted the highest levels of the Chinese Government to convince him not to attend. It is understood he had arrived in Hong Kong on Sunday but could get no further.

The two countries have a close relationship (really? that is a surprise--ed.) and it took intense persuasion to convince Mr Mugabe to return to Zimbabwe and not cause embarrassment to the host country. A Mugabe spokesman, George Charamba, wrote in a Zimbabwean newspaper: "President Mugabe attaches great importance to the ongoing talks [between the Government and Opposition], which is why he is not going to China for the grand opening of the Olympics." (also known as total bullshit--ed.)

The US President, George Bush, (but they let this asshole in?--ed.) and the Prime Minister, Kevin Rudd, will be among heads of state attending the opening ceremony.  The pro-Tibet supporter and Tour de France runner-up Cadel Evans will respect the Olympic rules and not protest at Games venues, says the Australian Olympic Committee president, John Coates.

Christian cronyism (cont'd)

Justice Officials Repeatedly Broke Law on Hiring, Report Says (Irony Not Intended)

Former Justice Department counselor Monica M. Goodling and former chief of staff D. Kyle Sampson routinely broke the law by conducting political litmus tests on candidates for jobs as immigration judges and line prosecutors, according to an inspector general's report released today.

Goodling passed over hundreds of qualified applicants and squashed the promotions of others after deeming candidates insufficiently loyal to the Republican party, said investigators, who interviewed 85 people and received information from 300 other job seekers at Justice. Sampson developed a system to screen immigration judge candidates based on improper political considerations and routinely took recommendations from the White House Office of Political Affairs and Presidential Personnel, the report said.

Goodling regularly asked candidates for career jobs, "What is it about George W. Bush that makes you want to serve him?" the report said. (Great rezziDUNCE? Or, the greatest rezziDUNCE? Where do you see George Bush in five years? If you could be any kind of sycophant, which kind would you be? Ed.) One former Justice Department official told investigators she had complained that Goodling was asking interviewees for their views on abortion, according to the report.

Here's annudder shocker: Goodling is part of the Regent University army in the Bush White House.

According to Regent University, more than 150 of its graduates have been hired by the federal government since George W. Bush came to office in 2001.

-- The Wikipedia

Motto: "Christian Leadership to Change the World." Yes.

McCain - following in the Spades Marathon footsteps...

McCain Plays Catch-Up: Attends German Restaurant In German Village, Ohio
July 24, 2008 12:09 PM

John McCain is still playing catch up to Barack Obama.

As the Illinois Democrat speaks before the picturesque Victory Column in Berlin today, the Arizona Republican is doing a slightly less exciting form of German outreach. He is having a lunch meeting with small business leaders at a German restaurant in German Village, Columbus, Ohio.

The presidential race, it seems has boiled down to who has the greatest German appeal. McCain's appearance at Schmidts' restaurant, a "Sausage Haus" comes after the RNC launched several advertisements in towns named Berlin.

Among the items he may have ordered include: Sauerkraut-Bratwurst Balls, Hoffbrau Schnitzel, or the Bratwurst, voted the "Best Wurst" by Columbus Monthly.



Fung and Adam have their picture taken with their faces in those things - they look at each other with love! Sadly - the pictures are on another computer right now...I'll tell you what - win or lose - McCain's in for a NICE lunch. I hope he throws up on some autoship dealer from Zanesville. Meanwhile, this strategy seems to be working as he starts making a dent in the battleground ("we only watch O'Reilly when our shows aren't on") states

A plan to kill endangered animals and help starving refugees - why is that a problem?

"Regarding the Congressman's desire to hunt wildebeest and distribute the cured meat to refugees, wildebeest are not present in Chad." (Damn! If it's not one thing it's another... Ed.)

brain-dead right-wing s#i+-eating troglodyte homunculi in the news (cont'd)

NEW YORK - Radio talk show host Michael Savage, who described 99 percent of children with autism as brats, said Monday he was trying to "boldly awaken" parents to his view that many people are being wrongly diagnosed.

Some parents of autistic children have called for Savage's firing after he described autism as a racket last week. "In 99 percent of the cases, it's a brat who hasn't been told to cut the act out," Savage said on his radio program last Wednesday. "Daing, that's a tasty squirrel," he added.

Savage offered no apology in a message posted Monday on his Web site. He said greedy doctors and drug companies were creating a "national panic" by overdiagnosing autism, a mental disorder that inhibits a person's ability to communicate.

On his radio show last week, he said: "What do you mean they scream and they're silent? They don't have a father around to tell them, `Don't act like a moron. You'll get nowhere in life. Stop acting like a putz. Straighten up. Act like a man. Don't sit there crying and screaming, you idiot.'"

Charles Krauthammer: A Douchebag of Liberty

Obama isn't close to earning his stripes

...has there ever been a presidential nominee with a wider gap between his estimation of himself and the sum total of his lifetime achievements?

Smiff's response at the soon-to-be slimmer, news-free Trib:
That would be the current president, a man I am sure Krauthammer voted for twice. Bush 43 had ZERO accomplishments as governor or in business, but that was good enough for Mr. Krauthammer in 2000 and 2004. Bush proceeded to become the worst president we've ever had, and it's not even close. While Obama might be inexperieced, he at least has something that Bush has never had: intellect and a brain. McCain does have this, but agrees with Bush on nearly every issue. Krauthammer wants more of that? How do morons like this still have nationally syndicated columns??

The only thing worse than a whiner...

Quitters Never Win and Winners Never Quit.

McCain adviser Gramm quits after 'whiners' remarks

By DEVLIN BARRETT, Associated Press Writer

Former Texas Sen. Phil Gramm resigned Friday from his role as GOP presidential candidate John McCain's campaign co-chairman, hoping to quiet the uproar that followed his comments that the United States had become a "nation of whiners" whose constant complaints about the U.S. economy show they are in a "mental recession." Gramm, a past presidential candidate, made the remarks more than a week ago. McCain immediately distanced himself from the comments, but they brought a steady stream of criticism just as McCain is trying to show he can help steer the country past its current financial troubles. Gramm said in a statement late Friday that he is stepping down to "end this distraction."

"It is clear to me that Democrats want to attack me rather than debate Senator McCain on important economic issues facing the country," Gramm said. "That kind of distraction hurts not only Senator McCain's ability to present concrete programs to deal with the country's problems, it hurts the country. To end this distraction and get on with the real debate, I hereby step down as co-chair of the McCain campaign and join the growing number of rank-and-file McCain supporters." Gramm made the comment to The Washington Times and later explained that he was talking about the nation's leaders not the American people. Democrats claimed at the time that the Gramm comments showed that McCain is out of touch with voters' concerns over high gas prices, the struggling housing industry and the shaky economy in general.

The campaign of Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama said Gramm's departure will make little difference to McCain's economic policies. "The question for John McCain isn't whether Phil Gramm will continue as chairman of his campaign, but whether he will continue to keep the economic plan that Gramm authored and that represents a continuation of the polices that have failed American families for the last eight years," said Obama campaign spokesman Hari Sevugan.

finally, some good news

The insufferable Billy Packer says he's done with broadcasting.

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Dick Cheney out in daylight risking exposure to the purifying rays of the sun, or, not on vacation - scouring pony camps for the next FEMA director

Dick Cheney, Still Rested and Ready for Duty

Give Vice President Dick Cheney credit for sticking to his heart healthy diet. Just look at this great picture of the fit veep. This was taken at a Maryland pony camp he was visiting this month. . .

"It's quite nice to see that he is just like us sometimes," says mom Jeanne Coley.

you'd think a black guy had never been a nominee for president before, or, John McLaughlin: an @ss#ole on the outside, an @ss#ole on the inside

As the cable news channels began filling up valuable airtime Monday with discussions of the appropriateness of a New Yorker cover depicting Barack Obama burning an American flag in the Oval Office, under a portrait of Osama bin Laden, another important story was largely ignored by the mainstream media - that of a veteran media personality injecting racially divisive stereotypes into a discussion of Sen. Obama.

This weekend on The McLaughlin Group, the program's host, John McLaughlin, asserted that Obama "fits the stereotype blacks once labeled as an Oreo -- a black on the outside, a white on the inside."