roster update

Horror reliever Manny Acosta was placed on the disabled list Monday and laid to rest in a private ceremony Tuesday. He joins Brett Myers, Pat Misch, Willie Ledezzzma, Ross OlenDORF, Eric "I Think I'm Gonna" Hurley, John Bale, Joey Devine, and Al Reyes on the list of formerly living and undead Horror pitchers k-mad has humanely destroyed this year.

Mike Myers now officially old

The NYT's A. O. Scott delivers the smackdown:

["Less amusing than it should be"] might sum up “The Love Guru” in its entirety but only at the risk of grievously understating the movie’s awfulness. A whole new vocabulary seems to be required. To say that the movie is not funny is merely to affirm the obvious. The word “unfunny” surely applies to Mr. Myers’s obnoxious attempts to find mirth in physical and cultural differences but does not quite capture the strenuous unpleasantness of his performance. No, “The Love Guru” is downright antifunny, an experience that makes you wonder if you will ever laugh again.

And this is, come to think of it, something of an achievement.

K-Mad Special: He's Fiery!

John Bale broke his hand Friday night after punching a door at the Royals' team hotel in Cleveland. Bale didn't tell the team until late Saturday. "I’m not pleased, obviously," manager Trey Hillman said Sunday. "Players have to think before they do things. "They’ve got to think about how it’s going to affect the rest of their team, how it’s going to affect their ability to perform and how it’s going to affect the whole group. I’m hopeful that there’s something salvageable for him." No word on why he punched the door, but the Kansas City Star speculates he was frustrated with his slow recovery from a fatigued shoulder. He'll likely be out a couple months now.

when did 'humanely destroyed' become 'euthanized,' and when can we have 'humanely destroyed' back?

not in photo: Smiff

Photo caption: Uniformed members of the "St. George Spirits Special Forces Tactical Alcohol Consumption Squad" Jennifer Wylie (left), Kevin Roche, and Johanna Mead sample absinthe at the St. George Spirits distillery in Alameda, California on Friday. Hundreds of customers waited hours for the chance to buy the first U.S. made and sold absinthe since 1912.

probly shoulda mentioned this on the first day of practice

"I thought our kids played hard, but you've got to put the ball in the basket."
-- NIU head basketball coach Ricardo "What da Phokk Have I Done to My Life?" Patton after yet annudder totally sucking attempt to win a game

a present for Smiff

looks like da Smelts rode dis one too hard

Shoulda gotten rid of him while the offers were pouring in...

What's wrong with Carlos Zambrano? The theories are piling up after another bad first inning by the Cubs' Opening Day starter led to another loss, this time 6-4 to the Pittsburgh Pirates on Thursday afternoon at Wrigley Field.