Saturday, October 6, 2007
I do know dis: neither suck as much as the CHOKING DOG NEW YORK METS. Remember that.
More good news: with the D-Backs & Rockies (can you say: "Zzzzzzzzzzzz...........") in the NLCS i doubt i will be watching much, if at all. Instead i can catch up with The Bionic Woman (i like me some Michelle Ryan). Which means:
1) NO TBS broadcasters. They all sound a like to me (meaning: Don Sutton) - i can't tell one from the other (except Chip Caray, and that's whole nudder level of annoyance). Though i don't know if TBS is even broadcasting the NLCS. Why are they broadcasting the division series anyway? Have we run out of channels or something?
2) NO more FrankTV ads. Ok, he does a good John Madden, but i don't need to be reminded every phokking half inning that his show starts November 20th. Where? on TBS!
3) NO Dane Cook promos. Yes, i suspect they will continue, which means i won't be watching any more baseball the instant i see his fucking face again (does anyone really think the NL will win this year? Oh ok, the Cards were a surprise last year, but at least they had Pujols and Carpenter. Arizona has Webb, and Colorado has Holliday. Dats about it.) Getting back to Dane Cook: HATE. LOATHING. And MORE HATE. Not funny, and can't act. This is the state of America today: Dane Cook has a career because people think he's funny or some shit. If you needed any more evidence of the fall of the American empire after George Bush was elected twice. More evidence: our currency is soon to be worth less dan phokking Canada...
Friday, October 5, 2007
Vatican book on Templars' demise
However, according to Prof Frale, study of the document shows that the knights were not heretics as had been believed for 700 years.
In fact she says "the Pope was obliged to ask for pardons from the knights... the document we have found absolves them".
Australia in African refugee ban
The darkies apparently have trouble integrating into Australian society, while the Iraqis and Burmese (Myanman? Myanmari? Myanmese?) will do way better, probably since they're less dark...
Shines fired, Kusnyer gets new job on inside
By Mark Gonzales, 1:40 p.m.
DENVER -- Manager Ozzie Guillen shook up his staff Friday by firing third base coach Razor Shines.
Bullpen coach Art Kusnyer and the team reached an agreement in which Kusnyer will work within the organization but will no longer coach. Kusnyer underwent eye surgery and missed the Sox's road trips in September.
A search will begin immediately to fill both positions.
The firing of Shines is somewhat surprising considering Guillen praised Shines for his work at third in his first season after serving in the Sox's minor league system for six seasons.
But in the past month, Guillen was less committed to bringing back his entire staff. Shines had been praised for his work with the Sox's younger players prior to his appointment as third base coach.
Kusnyer, 61, told friends on Sunday that he was going to step down and that he appreciated the support Kenny Williams provided the staff since taking over as general manager.
Kusnyer was the bullpen coach for 11 seasons and served in the same capacity from 1980-87.
The rest of the coaching staff is expected to stay intact for 2008.
Scandal Brewing at Oral Roberts U.
* Mrs. Roberts -- who is a member of the board of regents and is referred to as ORU's "first lady" on the university's Web site -- frequently had cell-phone bills of more than $800 per month, with hundreds of text messages sent between 1 a.m. to 3 a.m. to "underage males who had been provided phones at university expense."
Apparently I went to the wrong school - I want me a suga mommie...
I really appreciate the Lancaster Chamber of Commerce for giving me an opportunity to explain why I have made some of the decisions I have made. My job is a decision-making job. And as a result, I make a lot of decisions.
Yeah, we get it - you're The Decider. Been dere, done dat. Go phokk yourself.
I'm sorry Laura is not with me. She's, by far, the better half of the Bush family. (Laughter.)
HA! Good one! You got dat right, though that's like saying, "Of two enormous pieces of shit, she's the smaller piece."
And so she -- she cares deeply about issues like malaria. She believes like I believe, that we can eliminate the scourge of malaria and save lives all around the world. She cares deeply about literacy. She cares deeply about making sure women have got good information to -- when it comes to healthy choices with their life so they don't suffer from heart ailment. She cares a lot about women in Afghanistan. She cares a lot because she's got a big heart, and I'm sure proud to call her "wife," and I think the country is lucky to have her as the First Lady. (Applause.)
Well, it's too bad you're President then, because you couldn't give a flying fat rat's ass about any of those things.
I am constantly amazed that our country produces people -- decent, honorable people who are willing to serve.
Because I think of myself and I am neither decent or honorable.
One of the issues that we're going to be facing in Washington, D.C. is how to spend your money. In other words, what do we do with the good money that we've -- the good money we've collected? How do we spend it?
Something probably real smart like a trillion dollars frittered away in the desert...
I've submitted my budget, the core principle of which is that we will do what it takes to defend our homeland and make sure our troops have what it takes to do their jobs -- (applause) -- and keep your taxes low by not raising them. And we showed the way forward on how to get to balance in the year 2012. In other words, you got to be fiscally responsible, set priorities with your money, and keep your taxes low.
That's is a HYOOOGE pile of BULL$#i+ right there... 1) Troops don't have what it takes to do their jobs - from day freakin' one. 2) Balanced budget by the year 2012? While cleaning up your mess in Iraq while lowering taxes again? Yeah, and Smiff will have hair by 2012, too. 3) Fiscally reponsible? How does he say that without his tongue detaching and rolling out of his mouth?
And one of the principles on which I'm making decisions is I'd rather the Chrysts spending their money than the government spending their money. See, I think they know how to spend their money in such a way that their business will grow.
Unless they're an idiot like you - who couldn't find oil in Texas...
As a matter of fact, a five-year budget that's submitted by the current leadership of the Congress increases spending by $205 billion over five years, which would -- and so you say, that's fine, sounds good, all these programs sound wonderful. Except how you going to pay for it? That's the question I ask. How are you going to pay for the promises? And the answer is, raising taxes.
How about ending the war in Iraq and spend the money here? We always seem to have the money for wars, shit blowing up and people dying and stuff, but not for stuff here. Just spitballin'...
I'll use the prerogative given to me under the Constitution, and I'm going to veto the tax bills.
Since when have you ever followed the Constitution?
To be continued...
President Bush defends his administration's detention and interrogation policies for terrorism suspects on Friday, saying they are both successful and lawful.
Not To Worry, Cubs Fans
by Nate Silver
As I noted in my SI piece about the greatest September and October collapses:
Ultimately, the lesson is that misery loves company: many of the same teams that have vanquished a choker have been the victim at another point in time. That could mean that the Cubs are due to make a big comeback at some point in the 2007 playoffs.
The Cubs actually were a vanquisher at one point. They were the team that took advantage of Fred Merkle’s blunder to steal the 1908 pennant from the New York Giants. Importantly, that was the last time they won the World Series. But they’ve since accumulated a significant karma surplus because of 2003 and 1969, not to mention 1984.
So really, all of this is going to plan. It’s the Cubs’ turn to pull off a spectacular comeback. In fact, you should be actively rooting for the Diamondbacks to build up a big lead in Game 3. 5-1 with two outs in the bottom of the ninth? 13-4? 30-3 and Geovany Soto is down to his last strike? All the better from a karma perspective.
Unless, of course, I have reversed jinxed the Cubs and angered the karma gods by revealing all of this.
Thursday, October 4, 2007
“It also makes the point, it is kind of embarrassing, the Democratic Party ought to be hanging its head in shame, that it has so much difficulty getting men to vote for it. I mean, you do see it’s the party of women and ‘We’ll pay for health care and tuition and day care — and here, what else can we give you, soccer moms?’”--Ann Coulter
Jackson points a 'critical' finger
As NBA camps open, Lakers coach has serious doubts about his team
Those around Bryant say he continues to talk about the Bulls.
Only Bryant would embrace the chance and challenge to upstage Jordan in Chicago. Perhaps it's just coincidence, but Bryant changed his Lakers' uniform number to 24 and took No. 10 with the U.S. Olympic team. Jordan wore No. 23, of course, and No. 9 in the Olympics.
One more than Jordan?
I wouldn't put it past Bryant to believe he could win four championships with the Bulls to get to seven overall after his three with the Lakers and Shaquille O'Neal.
Peacock 'fell in love with car'
Visitors to a Somerset stately home have been warned to keep away from a peacock - after he seriously damaged a luxury car he mistook for a mate.
The amorous bird caused £4,000 worth of damage to an employee's Lexus in the grounds of Sir Benjamin Slade's country manor, Maunsel House, near Bridgwater.
Warning signs have now been put up in the car park.
"It started when he fell in love with a Lexus, which was in a very distinct peacock blue," said Sir Benjamin.
"He attacked the panels so hard that the car needs a total respray. The insurers are not very happy about it.
"They've had claims for all sorts of things like lions biting people, but never have they heard of a peacock sexually attacking a car before," he added.
Sir Benjamin has offered to give away his 13th Century ancestral home to anyone distantly related to him.
MEDFORD, Ore. - A big, red "Closed" sign has been plastered across the front door of the library here since mid-April, when Jackson County ran out of money to keep its 15 branches open. In a few weeks, though, the sign will come down and the doors will be flung open again, now that the county has come up with an unusual cost-saving solution: outsourcing its libraries. The county will continue to own the buildings and all the books in them. But the libraries will be managed by an outside company for a profit. And the librarians will no longer be public employees and union members; they will be on the company's payroll. Library patrons might not notice much difference, but the librarians will, since the company plans to get by with a smaller staff and will have a free hand to set salaries and benefits....
Chicago far behind rivals for 2016: USOC chair
(Crain’s) — U.S. Olympic Committee Chairman Peter Ueberroth said Thursday that Chicago ranks third or fourth among rivals for the 2016 Summer Games.
In a meeting with reporters, he puts Chicago’s bid behind Rio de Janeiro, Brazil; Madrid, Spain, and Tokyo. He made a similar observation in a meeting Thursday morning with Mayor Richard M. Daley, he said.
All cities have strong leadership, he said in the meeting with reporters. For Tokyo, "the Japanese are putting in much more in the way of assets and efforts for their bid," Mr. Ueberroth said...
Mr. Ueberroth suggested that Chicago needs to get better at wooing the members of the International Olympic Committee who will vote to choose an Olympic city in 2009...
Idaho Sen. Larry Craig defiantly vowed to serve out his term in office on Thursday despite losing a court attempt to rescind his guilty plea in a men's room sex sting. "I have seen that it is possible for me to work here effectively," Craig said in a written statement certain to disappoint fellow Republicans who have long urged him to step down. Craig had earlier announced he would resign his seat by Sept. 30, but had wavered when he went to court in hopes of withdrawing his plea.
Figures, he's one of K-Mad's special kids...
HOUSTON — Signaling an indefinite halt to executions in Texas, the state's highest criminal appeals court late Tuesday stayed the lethal injection of a 28-year-old Honduran man who was scheduled to be put to death Wednesday.
The reprieve by the Texas Court of Criminal Appeals was granted a week after the U.S. Supreme Court agreed to consider whether a form of lethal injection constituted cruel and unusual punishment barred under the Eighth Amendment. On Thursday, the Supreme Court stepped in to halt a planned execution in Texas at the last minute, and though many legal experts interpreted that as a signal for all states to wait for a final ruling on lethal injection before any further executions, Texas officials said they planned to move ahead with more.
As a result, Tuesday's ruling by the Texas court was seen as a sign that judges in the nation's leading death penalty state were taking guidance from the Supreme Court and putting off imminent executions.
|Ah...The Smiff! |
by: Andrew (Blue Ward Cyclones)
|Oct 2 3:51pm|
| And the Cubs and The Phils and The Red Sox and the Indians and the et ceteras...|
Another year with Smiff the Champ? Can our ears and eyes handle the emails and the conversations?
Perhaps. But next year Smiffers...
You go down.
You go down hard.
So enjoy this sweet victory, for the bitter fruits of spring already tangle in the roots.
Way to go Zak and Foley by the way...also rans to Smittister is no insult...
- The green chile cheeseburger at:
Bobcat Bite, 420 Old Las Vegas Highway, Santa Fe NM 87505; 505-983-5319
- The bacon cheeseburger at:
Taylor's Automatic Refresher, 933 Main Street, Helena CA 94574; 707-963-3486
- The Meerscheeseburger at The Meers Store and Restaurant, 26005 State Highway 115, Lawton OK 73501; 580-429-8051
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
"We've only faced Philly a couple of times, but we feel we are going to beat them. There's no doubt in our minds that we're the better team. So we're looking forward to it."--Ryan Spilborghs
If da Fightins need only one reason to fucking destroy Colorado over the next three games, it's right heres. Spilborghs (what the phokk is that, Romanian or something?) must think the sun shines out his @ss or something. Earth to Ryan: you're not Mickey Mantle, you're a 4th or 5th outfielder. Aaron Rowand can eat you for breakfast. You weren't starting over WILLY TAVAREZ. You're Ryan FUCKING Spilborghzz!!
Smiff, getting a little worked up after today's loss (and still not sure wha happened to Hamels in the 2nd inning)
Oh yeah, the TBS announcers? HATE. Always have, always will...
ING Rescues Broken NetBank
Union: 3,000 workers trapped in South Africa mine
The Associated Press
4:35 PM CDT, October 3, 2007
JOHANNESBURG, South Africa - About 3,000 miners were trapped underground Wednesday when a water pipe burst and probably caused a shaft to collapse in a South African gold mine, union officials said.
It was not immediately possible to get comment from the management of Harmony Gold's Elandsrand Mine in Carletonville near Johannesburg, nor details, such about how deep down the shaft is.
The spokesman for the National Union of Mineworkers, Lesiba Seshoka, said the managers were meeting with union members.
- R. Spilborghs walked
- Y. Torrealba flied out to right
- J. Francis grounded out to second, R. Spilborghs to second
- T. Gordon relieved C. Hamels
- K. Matsui struck out swinging
Bottom 7th: Philadelphia
- L. Hawkins relieved J. Francis
Uh, why not pinch hit for Francis if he was coming out? Hurdle...never a fan.
Boutique hotel planned near Wrigley Field
By Alby Gallun
Oct. 03, 2007
(Crain’s) — A Chicago investment firm that owns a stake in the Drake Hotel is developing a high-end boutique hotel just around the corner from Wrigley Field.
A partnership led by Lodging Capital Partners LLC has started converting two small apartment and retail buildings at 3473-3475 N. Clark St. into a hotel that would have about 20 rooms, says Lodging Capital Principal Steven Kisielica. The firm has teamed up with property owner Tim Collins on the $5-meeellion project.
Wrigley Field is just "800 steps away," which should work in the hotel’s favor, Mr. Kisielica says...
The Wrigleyville hotel, which has yet to be named, will include a restaurant and bar operated by a well-known Chicago restaurateur, Mr. Kisielica says. The development group has already begun gutting the two buildings on Clark Street and plans to open the hotel as early as next summer.
- T. Helton tripled to deep center
- G. Atkins doubled to left, T. Helton scored
- B. Hawpe struck out swinging
- R. Spilborghs walked
- Y. Torrealba singled to center, G. Atkins scored, R. Spilborghs to second
- J. Francis sacrificed to pitcher, R. Spilborghs to third, Y. Torrealba to second
- K. Matsui walked
- T. Tulowitzki walked, R. Spilborghs scored, Y. Torrealba to third, K. Matsui to second
- M. Holliday struck out swinging
3 runs, 3 hits, 0 errors
Colorado 3, Philadelphia 0
1) Dumbya. Not even the Mets can knock Pres. Dumbbell from the top of the heap. This morning, in a dark room far from the media glare, he vetoed the SCHIP bill (signing in crayon), quietly explaining, "I talked this one over with God and he said he could use more childrens with him in heaven. I only wish we could deny more health care to kids so more of them could be with God."
2) The Choking Dog New York Mets. '64 Phillies were still probably worse choke-wise, but at least they were playing good teams down the stretch.
3) San Diego Padres. Not much offense left, but this collapse was squarely on the pitching staff. Peavy had a bad game and Hoffman totally sucked, but let's not forget starting Brett Tomko in a big game, who couldn't hold a 4-0 lead. He sucked again this year, but look for him on a big league roster again next year.
4) The umpires in that game. Holliday didn't touch home plate, and Atkins probably homered. What good are those umpires in the OF when they're standing about 10 feet from the 1st and 3rd base umpires? Move your asses, you fat phokks.
5) Notre Dame. Will the sucking ever end? Does Weis just eat the game plans? Well, they might beat Duke.
6) San Diego Chargers. Norv happens.
7) The state of college football. I mean, Cal & South Florida are amoung the top rated teams in the country?
8) Syracuse & Northern Illinois: even with all the mediocrity around, they're even worse than that.
9) Chicago Bears quarterbacks and the Philadelphia Eagles offensive line.
10) Dumbya again:
News Headline (2001): "EPA relaxes gasoline standards."
News Headline (2002): "EPA relaxes clean air standards."
News Headline (2003): "EPA relaxes sewage rules."
News Headline (2004): "EPA relaxes standards for toxic metal."
News Headline (2005): "EPA seeks to relax ozone standards."
News Headline (2006): "EPA relaxes toxic spill rule."
News Headline (2007): "EPA relaxes toxic pollution reporting."
• • Gray and fox squirrel: Now open.
• • Deer (archery): Now open.
• • Turkey (archery): Now open.
• • Skunk: Now open.
• • Turkey (shotgun): Oct. 20.
• • Rabbit: Nov. 3
• • Pheasant, partridge, quail: Nov. 3.
• • Deer (handgun, muzzleloader, shotgun): Nov. 16.
No prairie chickens?
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Birds-eye view into Wrigley Field just a rooftop away
Address: 1048 W. Waveland Ave., Chicago 60613
Size: Two bedrooms, one bath
Security deposit: None
Utilities: Resident pays electric and gas
Parking: Outdoor, when available, $250
Students at Percy Julian Middle School in Oak Park, Ill., are no longer allowed to hug one another, according to the Chicago Sun-Times.
The Chicago Tribune says the edict is focused on "extreme hugging in hallways."
''Hugging is really more appropriate for airports or for family reunions than passing and seeing each other every few minutes in the halls," Victoria Sharts, the school's principal, tells the Sun-Times.
As official Washington argues over the spiraling price of the war in Iraq, consider this: Outfitting a soldier for battle costs a hundred times more now than it did in World War II. It was $170 then, is about $17,500 now and could be an estimated $28,000 to $60,000 by the middle of the next decade.
2. Don't try and film the OUTSIDE of the Holocaust museum. Security will be on you in seconds.
3. The last time I was in DC (late nineties or early noughts, somewhere in there), there were no protesters to be found. Now we got some guy saying "troops out now", somebody protesting immigration (I think so anyway, couldn't read the sign), someone asking if we ever found the WMD's, etc. "Generic Left-Wing Protesters", as Briggsy would put it. Quite a few people out there are unhappy about the way things are going apparently.
4. They had a book fair going on the mall. Saw some ladies carrying yellow "Hot Librarian Chicks 4 Smiff" bags.
5. Corporal moving? Stay tuned...
6. The FDR Memorial has this hyooooge brick that has the words "I HATE" on it. You have to get real close to see the "WAR" brick that completes the phrase. Offered without comment.
7. Speaking of war, you could watch a movie on "The War" on a hyooooge (there's that word again) jumbotron across the street from the dubya dubya too memorial (that's the war they mean). Not sure how the kids would handle dat...
8. Da transit dat works. Dey tell you how long it will be until da train arrives on a nice screen. Unlike da CTA, with dere schedules written on a board dat dey don't follow.
9. Number of texts from Sarge - 1. Number of emails from Sarge - 1. Number of appearances by Sarge - 0. How is a (formerly) homeless man 4-0 in our football league?
10. Big Shout Out to Briggsy, our gracious host over the weekend. He took us to his hyoooge fancy house out in the burbs, and then kept us in the basement. Hyoooge basement.
If yous aint asleep by now, I's done now...
The House passed this act to help prevent cases of "popcorn lung," a disorder found in popcorn plant workers.
Rep. Janice Schakowsky voted YES
"NYC mayor: Get used to surveillance"
Note also that USA Today is calculating expenditures in Euros. And that's the McPaper? My phokking @ss.
Monday, October 1, 2007
The staff report says Blackwater has made huge sums of money despite its questionable performance in Iraq, where Blackwater guards provide protective services for U.S. diplomatic personnel. Blackwater has earned more than $1 billion from federal contracts since 2001...
Yes, and you keep on funding it:
Senate approves $150B in war funding
This is called, "being part of the problem." Only three senators voted against: my main crazy man, Robert Byrd; Communist Russ Feingold; and right-wing lunatic, Tom Coburn (huh? did he want $300 billion?). Spineless Presidential candidates who didn't vote? All of them:
Not Voting - Biden (D-DE) Clinton (D-NY) Dodd (D-CT) McCain (R-AZ) Obama (D-IL)
Wellness Center All-Stars
Rank Team Points Pts Change Waiver Moves
1. Lord Viper Elefantes 214.5 1.5 11 81
2. Columbus Bureaucrats 199 2 8 26
3. Golemi Topki 183 2.5 3 33
4. shot_at_bill 150.5 -5 10 50
5. Coach #31 150 0 12 41
6. Blue Ward Cyclones 148.5 0.5 5 15
7. La Jolla Chemists 144 2.5 1 29
8. Paul Bako's Son 142 -4 4 17
9. Spackler Bents 134 -0.5 7 28
10. Maddogs 121.5 3.5 9 50
11. clan of terrorists 108.5 -0.5 6 33
12. Fightin' Bluestem 98.5 -2.5 2 11
ESPN.com - Mets, Glavine implode, complete epic collapse [FUNNY!]
Time to retire Tommy G. That 80MPH junk ball 10 inches off the plate is no longer getting it done. But like Smiff, some 40+ year olds are still getting it done...