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President Bush Visits Lancaster Chamber of Commerce and Industry, Discusses S-CHIP

I really appreciate the Lancaster Chamber of Commerce for giving me an opportunity to explain why I have made some of the decisions I have made. My job is a decision-making job. And as a result, I make a lot of decisions.

Yeah, we get it - you're The Decider. Been dere, done dat. Go phokk yourself.

I'm sorry Laura is not with me. She's, by far, the better half of the Bush family. (Laughter.)

HA! Good one! You got dat right, though that's like saying, "Of two enormous pieces of shit, she's the smaller piece."

And so she -- she cares deeply about issues like malaria. She believes like I believe, that we can eliminate the scourge of malaria and save lives all around the world. She cares deeply about literacy. She cares deeply about making sure women have got good information to -- when it comes to healthy choices with their life so they don't suffer from heart ailment. She cares a lot about women in Afghanistan. She cares a lot because she's got a big heart, and I'm sure proud to call her "wife," and I think the country is lucky to have her as the First Lady. (Applause.)

Well, it's too bad you're President then, because you couldn't give a flying fat rat's ass about any of those things.

I am constantly amazed that our country produces people -- decent, honorable people who are willing to serve.

Because I think of myself and I am neither decent or honorable.

One of the issues that we're going to be facing in Washington, D.C. is how to spend your money. In other words, what do we do with the good money that we've -- the good money we've collected? How do we spend it?

Something probably real smart like a trillion dollars frittered away in the desert...

I've submitted my budget, the core principle of which is that we will do what it takes to defend our homeland and make sure our troops have what it takes to do their jobs -- (applause) -- and keep your taxes low by not raising them. And we showed the way forward on how to get to balance in the year 2012. In other words, you got to be fiscally responsible, set priorities with your money, and keep your taxes low.

That's is a HYOOOGE pile of BULL$#i+ right there... 1) Troops don't have what it takes to do their jobs - from day freakin' one. 2) Balanced budget by the year 2012? While cleaning up your mess in Iraq while lowering taxes again? Yeah, and Smiff will have hair by 2012, too. 3) Fiscally reponsible? How does he say that without his tongue detaching and rolling out of his mouth?

And one of the principles on which I'm making decisions is I'd rather the Chrysts spending their money than the government spending their money. See, I think they know how to spend their money in such a way that their business will grow.

Unless they're an idiot like you - who couldn't find oil in Texas...

As a matter of fact, a five-year budget that's submitted by the current leadership of the Congress increases spending by $205 billion over five years, which would -- and so you say, that's fine, sounds good, all these programs sound wonderful. Except how you going to pay for it? That's the question I ask. How are you going to pay for the promises? And the answer is, raising taxes.

How about ending the war in Iraq and spend the money here? We always seem to have the money for wars, shit blowing up and people dying and stuff, but not for stuff here. Just spitballin'...

I'll use the prerogative given to me under the Constitution, and I'm going to veto the tax bills.

Since when have you ever followed the Constitution?

To be continued...