"If Carnival and Las Vegas had a baby, this would be the placenta"

"The Marlins are planning a structure beyond the center-field wall of their new ballpark. This structure will light up and make a fancy hullabaloo whenever a Marlin hits a home run. And remember, they have Mike Stanton, so they could be firing up this thing quite a bit.

"Now close your eyes, and think about what this structure might look like. Go ahead. Let your imagination run wild...

"Behold. This is what will happen when the Marlins hit a home run. It's what Bernie Brewer thinks he's sliding down after a couple buttons of peyote. Don't avert your eyes. Look at it. Study it. This is what we've become."
~

Sox fans, get used to more of this

He Gone!

You know who I mean. Don't even need to link to anything. I tell you what.

He'll be grabbing some bench elsewhere. Who'll be grabbing some Sox bench? I think it's time to bring Jerry Manuel back - the complete opposite of Ozzie. But sigh, you know the Sox will grab some inexperienced guy to become a first time manager - haven't they done that the last 8 times?

Life won't be as entertaining without him. You can put that on the board.

turns out he also sucks as a manager

"If Kenny brought Beckham here, it's because Josh Fields was not doing his job."
-- Ozzie &*@#! Guillen

Josh Fields in 2009: .237 BA, .304 OBP, .333 SLG, .637 OPS
Ozzie Guillen's career stats: .264 BA, .287 OBP, .338 SLG, .626 OPS

tough one tonight

Well, he is Adam Eaton after all...

first observations gleaned from tonight's performance

The Sox really suck.

this is all *SO* Cubs / Sox

Chi Cubs 3
St. Louis 4
Final

Toronto 3
Chi White Sox 1
Final

Toronto 8
Chi White Sox 2
Final

Will the living envy the dead? YES!, or, Dat's da "first place" Sox?

My phokking @SSSS

@&^$*#%!

Bot 9th: Chi Cubs
- S. Phokkface @ssbag Linebrink relieved M. Thornton
- A. Ramirez homered to deep center

Ozzie: The Bludgeoning

"Just be ready because I expect movement Tuesday," Guillen said. "I expect Kenny to do something Tuesday, and if we don’t do anything Tuesday, there are going to be a lot of lineup changes. That’s all I’m going to say about the offense.

"It can be me. It can be (hitting coach) Greg Walker. It can be the players. It could be anybody. I’m sick and tired to watch this thing for a year and a half. I’m not protecting anybody anymore. (Bleep) it.

"If they can’t get it done, Kenny should find someone to get it done. That’s it."

Reading Pictures

So I's lookin at da pickcha of Ozzie on the main page. It's from a book called "The Wit and Wisdom of Ozzie Guillen." Wit and Wisdom of Oz? Isn't that an ozziemoron?

...cuz if those are the real Sox fans, they can kiss Ozzie's phokking @ss right downtown, and PRINT IT!

Tired of "all the managers in the press box and at home, watching the game on TV and spilling food on themselves," Guillen became the story after a 4-3 loss Sunday to the Toronto Blue Jays, making his feelings known about the perceived treatment he and his organization get in the Windy City.

"Right now, everyone in Chicago is making lineups, 'Call up this guy, call up that guy,'" Guillen said. "If we had 50 people allowed on the roster, we could do that. That's what ticks me off about Chicago fans and Chicago media -- they forget pretty quick. A couple of days ago, we were the [bleep]ing best [bleep] in town, now we're [bleep]."

Asked why that is, Guillen pulled no punches.

"Because maybe the manager is an ass[bleep]," he replied.

Guillen said that the only way the perception of the Sox ever would change is by winning, but even after they did in 2005, it hasn't taken long for it to wear off.

"We won it a couple years ago, and we're horse[bleep]," Guillen said. "The Cubs haven't won in 120 years, and they're the [bleep]ing best. [Bleep] it, we're good. [Bleep] everybody. We're horse[bleep], and we're going to be horse[bleep] the rest of our lives, no matter how many World Series we win. We are the bitch of Chicago. We're the Chicago bitch. We have the worst owner -- the guy's got seven [bleep]ing rings, and he's the [bleep]ing horse[bleep] owner..."

Even ex-Cubs manager Lee Elia wasn't safe from Guillen's wrath Sunday.

"How about the Cubs celebrating that Lee Elia bull[crap]?" Guillen said of the 25th anniversary of Elia's famous 1983 tirade. "How many times I curse people out, I will make a lot of money with my [crap]. I have to keep going because in the future Ozzie [Jr.] will need money and I can say, 'Here, give me money, here's the 10-year anniversary of the time I called [Sun-Times columnist Jay] Mariotti stuff and the time I went on the radio and cursed out Mike North last year.'

"Yeah, we have to celebrate all that [crap], too. But I won't be around for 10 years, believe me."