Saturday, August 23, 2008

da troops: wid da tarrists

Our Troops Support Obama 6:1 Over McCain

So what is the correct way... display the Olympic standings? The US seems to be going by total medals, which we're winning, while almost everyone else is going by gold medals, which the Chinese are winning.

Whee! I know a secret!

The official who spoke did so on condition of anonymity, preferring not to pre-empt a text-message announcement the Obama campaign promised for Saturday morning.

Correction: Graf should end: "...preferring not to be blamed for pre-empting a text-message announcement the Obama campaign promised for Saturday morning -- but obviously relishing the opportunity to in fact do so."

Friday, August 22, 2008

Phelps fails to medal in Creative Posing event

Illiana alliance?


tough one today

Fri Aug 22, 2008
Washington 13 Chi Cubs 5

Phillies lost to the worst team in baseball, too, but only by a run, and only because SUCKS sufferer Ryan Madson pitched.

Where did Willie Harris get the HGH? 12 homers this year? he's like shorter than Fung and half the weight... coming into this season he had 7 homeruns in over 1200 career ABs.

Scenes From Iceland's Handball Triumph

I was walking toward the mixed zone this evening when I ran into the first lady of Iceland. Dorrit Moussaieff asked me how she could get onto the playing surface, so that she could help celebrate her tiny country's stunning trip into the men's handball finals. I pointed her in the right direction, and told her I worked for The Washington Post. She told me she was friends with Katharine Graham. Then she tried to bring me onto the floor, where 14 large Icelandic men were glorying in the craziest athletic accomplishment in their country's history -- a 36-30 win over Spain in the Olympic semifinals.

"I don't think I can go this way," I said.

"Yes you can; if you're with me you can," she said, approaching the arena guard. "I'm the wife of the President; that's the President," she said, nodding at me while dragging me past the guard...

It's hard to explain just how monumental was Iceland's win over Spain was in today's men's handball semifinals. Spain--with more than 40 million residents--had probably played stronger than any team in the tournament. Iceland has 300,000 residents, and has never won Summer Olympic gold. And yet Iceland never trailed in a 36-30 win, and breezed into Sunday's final against France.

But that's too dry. When we asked Iceland's Sigfus Sigurdsson to explain what the scene would be like back home right now, he used the words "ape [bleep]" three times. That's more like it.

Iceland Elves CRUSH Spain, French Phokks next up for The Gold

Breaking News! Iceland Plays for Gold at Olympics

The Icelandic men’s handball team beat Spain 36-30 in the semi-finals in the Beijing Olympics at noon today. Iceland has now made it to the finals and will play France for the gold on Sunday.
Iceland has never made it this far in handball before. Although they’ve made it to the semi-finals in previous big tournaments, they have never brought home a medal.
Iceland was off for a fantastic start, leading 5-0 after only a few minutes after the game began. Spain tied 9-9, but then Iceland kicked back and re-achieved a difference of five goals. The first half finished 17-15 for Iceland, reports.
Iceland remained the stronger team throughout the entire second half and constantly increased the score gap; at one point Iceland led with seven goals. Towards the end Spain put up an impressive fight, but Iceland managed to stay in the lead until the very end.
The Icelandic goalkeeper Björgvin Páll Gústavsson played brilliantly, deflecting 15 shots in total. The Icelandic defensive play was also impeccable. Gudjón Valur Sigurdsson and Logi Geirsson were the most successful shooters of the Icelandic team, scoring seven goals each.
The best player of the Spanish team was goalkeeper David Berrufet, who deflected 18 shots, five thereof from fast breaks.
The Icelandic handball team already has the silver secure, something which an Icelandic athlete has not achieved since Vilhjálmur Einarsson won the silver medal in triple jump at the 1956 Olympics in Melbourne, Australia.
In 1984, Bjarni Fridriksson won the bronze medal for Iceland in judo at the Olympics in Los Angeles, and in 2000, Vala Flosadóttir returned home with the bronze after placing third in pole vault at the Olympics in Sydney, Australia.
But no Icelandic athlete has ever won the gold at the Olympics.

Click here for more handball-related news.

Notes from the End Times

The Troglodyte Homunculi are half a point from third place in Wellness Center.

things that make you go HOLY PHOKKING S#I+ WE'RE SO PHOKKED (CONT'D)


Unless a speeding sports car chases the Government Accountability Office over a cliff in this movie, I'm gonna guess nobody gives a s#i+.

Hearing aids for all!

Either that, or musicians need to cut back on the drogas before going into the studio...

Police top misheard lyrics chart

Rock band The Police have written some of the most commonly misheard pop lyrics of all time, a poll suggests.

Two of the band's songs feature in a top 10 of misunderstood tracks.

A line from The Police's Message In A Bottle - "a year has passed since I wrote my note" - is often heard as "a year has passed since I broke my nose".

A biblical reference in U2's Mysterious Ways becomes "Shamu the mysterious whale". Some 2,000 people were polled by hearing aid providers Amplifon.

"Some people go for years singing the wrong lyrics to their favourite songs," said the company's director Enrico Vacca.

"We heard some brilliant misquotes during our research that had us in stitches."

Number one in the chart is Police song When The World Is Running Down in which "you make the best of what's still around" is misheard as "you make the best homemade stew around".

At number two, a line from Bee Gees song Stayin' Alive - "it's alright, it's okay, you may look the other way" - is translated as "it's alright, it's okay, you make love the other way".

The Beatles also make the top 10 with Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds.
The line "the girl with kaleidoscope eyes" is misinterpreted as saying "the girl with colitis goes by".

Queen's "scaramouche, scaramouche, will you do the Fandango?" from Bohemian Rhapsody, is misheard as "will you do the banned tango?"

Oasis song Wonderwall is also in the chart with "you're gonna be the one that saves me" becoming "you're gonna be the one at Sainsbury's".

And Kate Bush's Wuthering Heights creeps into the chart at number 10.
The original line from the song is: "Heathcliff, it's me, Cathy and I've come home, oh, so cold, let me in your window."
But it is misheard as: "Heathcliff, it's me, I'm a tree, I'm a wombat. Oh, so cold at the end of your winter."

Thursday, August 21, 2008

American men, women drop relay batons

Relay flubs cap 0-for-6 US showing in sprint races

We are living in a golden age (cont)

Smiff still waiting for the bro, or mensier, version...

Icelandic Handball: Magic Elves, Cured Shark and Existentialism

K-Mad will be rooting for them.

the non-denial denial - sorta like the non-apology apology

And to anybody who might have been offended by any of my posts today, I'm sorry you're such a thin-skinned little worm.

"The notion that the White House directed anyone to forge a letter from Habbush to Saddam Hussein is absurd," spokesman Tony Fratto said. He accused Suskind, a Pulitzer-Prize winning investigative reporter and well-respected chronicler of Bush administration secrets, of engaging in "gutter journalism."

I called that a classic non-denial denial, one of many the White House has issued over the years.

The thing about these "that's absurd" denials is that it's never been clear to me whether they should be considered categorical denials -- or an attempt by the White House to make potentially damaging questions go away by embarrassing reporters into not asking again.


Corporate America - fullas#i+

Dear Kevin,

In the distant future, the Earth is barren of all life forms; humans have survived only by leaving the wasted planet behind. This doomsday scenario is reality for Wall*E, the lovable, animated robot in this summer's blockbuster environmental movie from Disney/Pixar. If you've seen the movie Wall*E, you probably got the same thrill out of it as we did here at Greenpeace. (It seems that I'm not the only one around here with an appetite for entropy - Ed.) Meanwhile, the movie's box office success is a clear indicator that its message resonates with Americans of all stripes.

That's why we were perplexed (maybe even a little puzzled? Ed.) to see that Kimberly-Clark is featuring Wall*E on boxes of Kleenex. If you look on the bottom of these boxes, you'll see a little recycled symbol that says: "This box is made from 100% recycled paper." What you won't see on the bottom of that box is a message telling you that the tissues inside it are made from trees up to 180 years old that were cut from forests up to 10,000 years old. Nor will you read that Kimberly-Clark refuses to use any recycled material in Kleenex even though doing so would save huge areas of ancient forests.

A movie about conservation being used to sell a disposable paper product that contains absolutely no recycled content? It's the height of irony. (I didn't embed the video here because it has the sKILLy effect.)

Much like how many homes you own, it's not always easy to recall all of your siblings...

But lying about Mother Theresa? Isn't that a one-way ticket to Hell?

Christian Science Monitor:
The latest embellishments come from the McCain camp.

Cindy McCain has repeatedly referred to herself as an “only child.”
This week came news that she actually has two half sisters, although apparently she had very little contact with them.
The McCain campaign had also put out the story that Mother Teresa “convinced” Cindy to bring home two orphans from Bangladesh in 1991.
Mrs. McCain, it turns out, never met Mother Teresa on that trip. (Once contacted by the Monitor, the campaign revised the story on its website.)

I wonder if Cindy got her cookie recipes from Mother Theresa, too. It speaks volumes about the woman who hopes to be the First Lady of our country.

More at The Political Base

What could possibly go wrong?

News Item: MLB and the umpires reached an agreement that will allow instant replay on HR calls.

I am actually for it, but with the profoundly brain-dead Bud Selig behind it, look for plenty of s#i+ blowing up...

Iceland handball - kicking the world's @ss

Iceland Handball Trumps Croatian Water Polo

What we thought before this game is just to do what our forefathers did. They at most endured, like, two or three days at home in peace, and then they had to destroy something. They had to go and fight war somewhere. They went with their boats and stuff like that, and we were just on our boats, destroying something. That's how we went to the game, just to enjoy those 60 minutes like our (unintelligible) in life. That's what you do. That's what you live for.

And on a related note:

Bonus question: What makes team handball the best sport to follow during the Summer Olympics?

A. For starters, Iceland is in the field. Iceland! But seriously, this might be the greatest sport in the world, certainly the greatest at which the United States sucks and shouldn't. To self-quote from a column I wrote at the 2004 Olympics, the idea is to wing a ball the size of a cantaloupe past a clearly insane goalie who guards a rectangle the size of a couple of refrigerators. The seven-on-seven indoor sport has the leaping, dribbling, passing, off-the-ball movement and shot-blocking of hoops (the ideal player is about 6-foot-5, 210 pounds; Germany had a 7-foot cross between Shawn Bradley and Randy Johnson); the hard throwing of baseball (shots fly up to 70 mph); and the body contact of hockey, soccer and lacrosse (defenders grab, push and slam the guy with the ball, who tries to shoot over, under or through a defensive fortress). Nonstop, fast-breaking, simple to understand, high-scoring. And excellent shoes! And Iceland! I beseech the Bog to make team handball this Olympics' curling.

And on a related note: I might speculate that it will be at least 2014 before a Chicago "sportswriter" comes up with anything nearly this entertaining, except that by 2014 Chicago won't have any "newspapers."

En garde, suckas!!

What Olympic Sport Are You?

You Are Fencing
You're competitive but not brutally so. You compete to make yourself better.You find having an opponent to be challenging and rewarding.You are fierce when you're in a competition, but you don't wish your rivals any real harm.

Nope, he couldn't help...

News Item: ". . . McCain owns seven houses. . . ."
News Item: ". . . McCain's nine houses. . . ."
News Item: ". . . McCain owns eight houses. . . ."
News Item: ". . . McCain's 10 houses. . . ."

It might help if John McCain helped us pin down just how many houses he owns so he can get on with campaigning against his elitist opponent.

News item: McCain unsure how many houses he owns

Not an elitist like Hussein over there though.

Is today the day?

Separately, Ms. Tumulty has a line-by-line assessment of Mr. Obama’s statements, speculating that many signs point to Senator Evan Bayh of Indiana "or a surprise whose name has not been circulating on the pundits’ short lists."

I'm less excited about him after reading Samantha Power describe how he phokked up in Rwanda, but it would be fun to have him out there on the campaign every day reminding everybody how bad the Republicans have sucked at the Global War on Tairrism (GWOT).

phokking scientists think they're so phokking smart

Science Idol: The Scientific Integrity Editorial Cartoon Contest

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Let me try dis again...

I'm going to look into plane tickets for a Chicago pilgrimage sometime after Oct 5th thru maybe Veteran's Day weekend. So let me know if you will NOT be in town during that time, and i will plan accordingly. I don't want any, "Oh, i forgot i was going on an African safari then...sorry"--K-Mad, after the fact.

I will also be looking for lodging. Is Corms' new place habitable? How about Fung's deluxe apartment in the sky?

Sarge's platoon?

Philippine troops battle rampaging MILFs

Wiki has articles on EVERYTHING (cont)

Recent advances in the rules of shotgun allow, for the use of mobile phones to "txt" a valid call for shotgun to the driver well in advance of a trip. This rule is controversial but is widely accepted, and heralded as an indicator, that the rules of shotgun are keeping up with modern advances in technology.

Once Again, LoC's ahead of the curve

We knew about lolcats before the NY Times told everyone about dem...

Advertising: A Small Empire Built on Cuddly and Fuzzy Branches Out From the Web

if k-mad had a fantasy cricket team, this kid would be on it

Boy in hospital after 'gas lighting' stunt backfires

A 12-year-old has been taken to hospital with burns after blowing up a petrol can while breaking wind.

The boy was attempting to set fire to his farts as part of a competition against his cousin in the garden of a house in Tipton when the accident occurred.

Fire fighters were called to the address but the small blaze had already burned itself out when the crew arrived.

I would say this is something to be very worried about...

...but since it's a poll by Zogby--who is profoundly brain dead--it's probably good news for Obama...

McCain takes lead over Obama in new poll

In a sharp turnaround, Republican John McCain has opened a 5-point lead on Democrat Barack Obama in the U.S. presidential race and is seen as a stronger manager of the economy, according to a Reuters/Zogby poll released on Wednesday. McCain leads Obama among likely U.S. voters by 46 percent to 41 percent, wiping out Obama's solid 7-point advantage in July and taking his first lead in the monthly Reuters/Zogby poll....

It's like they're reading my mind... wait, they are reading my mind...

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K-Mad, a pessimist? Shirley, you jest.

<p><strong>><a href=''>2008 Election Contest: Pick Your President</a></strong> - Predict the winner of the 2008 presidential election and enter to win a $500 prize.</p>

life just keeps getting better (unless you're the rezzidunt and had to give up golf out of respect for the troops)

Driving range planned for Near West Side

(Crain’s) — Downtown duffers who want to work on their swing may soon have a place nearby to do it.

A little-known Chicago real estate developer plans to build a 140,000-square-foot indoor golf driving range and fitness center at 401 N. Ogden Ave. on the Near West Side, according to a zoning application filed with the city...

Sandwiched between train tracks to the north and south, the three-story building would offer a year-round opportunity for golfers to working on their driving, chipping and putting within a few minutes of downtown...

Bushian logic from Planet McCrazy - this sounds like something Perino would say

Because he was a POW, he is incapable of doing anything wrong.

Meanwhile, it's emerged that while Obama was answering questions from celebrity pastor Rick Warren, McCain wasn't being "held in a cone of silence", as Warren claimed: actually, he was in his car. But his campaign insists he wasn't listening to the questions, breaking the rules so as to be better prepared, and they've made an official complaint to NBC, dripping in wronged outrage, for suggesting as much. ("The insinuation from the Obama campaign that John McCain, a former prisoner of war, cheated is outrageous," says spokeswoman Nicole Wallace, as if one followed automatically from the other.)

whitey: fullas#i+

Only nine per cent of Americans say they'd be uncomfortable about electing a black president, the LA Times found -- but a majority say they "know someone" who feels this way: that's a standard pollster's technique to try to get around the unwillingness of respondents to admit to racist thoughts.

with a shout-out to Brain Dead Bob - what this blog is about

Either nothing, or everything, depending on your perspective.

advantages of being an empire in decline (though we do have to put up with the hurling hooligans running loose on Michigan Avenue)

Come for the cheap crap. Stay for the being treated like a criminal at the border.

Shopping is good with euros to spend
Crain's, Aug. 18, 2008

Back home in Italy, Stefano Fante, 51, is a prudent consumer, buying just what he needs and never shopping while on vacation. But a $600 chocolate-brown leather jacket beckoned from the racks at the Cole-Haan store on Michigan Avenue.

Mr. Fante, an attorney from Padua, slipped it on, took a few turns in front of the mirror and then conferred with his wife Marilisa, 45, also an attorney, and their 13-year-old son, Tommaso. After some lively deliberation, he put the jacket back on the rack and decided to keep looking.

Money definitely was not the issue. Mr. Fante, like many European tourists in Chicago, can afford to give in to temptation these days. Indeed, he bought an even pricier jacket a few doors down, splurging on a $950 version — about two-thirds what it would've cost him at home — at Johnston & Murphy.

With 1 euro hovering between $1.50 and $1.60 this summer, Michigan Avenue seems like one big clearance bin to Europeans, who are snapping up iPods, laptops, cameras and American clothing brands such as Abercrombie & Fitch, Ralph Lauren and Tommy Hilfiger, plus Chicago Bulls merchandise.
. . .

"We came here because of the strong euro," Mr. Fante said. "It's great for us. The first time I came to the U.S. was more than 20 years ago, in 1983, and I couldn't buy anything. Everything was impossible, too expensive. We find the USA for us is now cheap, so we buy."

Digging through shelves of discounted T-shirts were Shane Mullally, 22, and Damian Kelly, 20, two Irishmen here for the summer at the invitation of a local hurling club. Hurling is a native sport of Ireland, a cross between baseball and lacrosse (yeah - suuure it is - ed.).

"These $20 shirts would easily cost double in Ireland," Mr. Mullally pointed out, walking to the dressing room with armfuls of clothes...

The Real, Ultimate Zombies

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Oh dear

I'd say don't quit your day job, but he's bad at that too...

Familiarity breeds contempt

Funny stuff from the New York Times second most emailed story. I felt like I was reading something oddly familiar and it was puzzling, sad:

The ’90s were an eventful time for an international economist like Roubini. Throughout the decade, one emerging economy after another was beset by crisis, beginning with Mexico’s in 1994. Panics swept Asia, including Thailand, Indonesia and Korea, in 1997 and 1998. The economies of Brazil and Russia imploded in 1998. Argentina’s followed in 2000. Roubini began studying these countries and soon identified what he saw as their common weaknesses. On the eve of the crises that befell them, he noticed, most had huge current-account deficits (meaning, basically, that they spent far more than they made), and they typically financed these deficits by borrowing from abroad in ways that exposed them to the national equivalent of bank runs. Most of these countries also had poorly regulated banking systems plagued by excessive borrowing and reckless lending. Corporate governance was often weak, with cronyism in abundance.

Monday, August 18, 2008

ok, here's a post

Monks now ahead of the Crab Queens. It was inevitable...

And CC joins the big club this week.



He probably didn't offer the same deal to the male students...

Professor accused of offering A's to fondle students


Orton named starting QB


Fung and Briggs? Keeping the blog going since Friday? Wha happen? Cat got Smiff's tongue? K-Mad's players needed more tending to? Sarge still trying to figure out whether to live here, there, or everywhere? Corporal all TSP'd out? Ranger undercover somewhere? Corms trying to design the perfect wordscraper board to defeat the Fungster?

Just wondering...

The singlemindedness will end immediately

Michael Phelps will now start to discover whether an "eat, sleep, and swim" mentality is enough to sustain him a lifetime...

The question-and-answer session, arranged by one of Phelps’s sponsors, Visa, included journalists from The Harvard Lampoon, The Hollywood Reporter and a cheeky gentleman from New Zealand, a nonmedalist in swimming here, who, when called on, delivered a stand-up routine around the theme of Phelps’s greediness.

Phelps was asked to weigh in on whether light is a particle or a wave and describe love. His answer to both was, “I have no idea.”


Did the terrists win, or did democracy win? Did America lose an ally in the war against terrorism, or gain an Islamic democratic state?

Musharraf resigns as Pakistan president

The war par-tay

The NYT reports:

Washington was quick to rally around Mr. Saakashvili. Senator John McCain, whose campaign foreign policy adviser, Randy Scheunemann, had represented Georgia as a lobbyist, was the first to blast Russia. Mr. McCain, who already was the Republicans’ presumptive presidential nominee, telephoned Mr. Saakashvili to offer support, and then told reporters on April 17 that “we must not allow Russia to believe it has a free hand to engage in policies that undermine Georgian sovereignty.” On April 21 came a statement from a “deeply troubled” Senator Barack Obama, the leading Democratic candidate.

“There’s no doubt that the Georgians have carefully cultivated a broad base of support in Washington,” said Stephen Sestanovich, a senior fellow at the Council on Foreign Relations and foreign policy adviser to the Obama campaign who has hosted dinner parties for Mr. Saakashvili in Washington.