Tonight: a very special That's So Cub!

"After allowing the game-tying home run to Pence, Cubs reliever Shawn Camp (0-1) balked in the decisive run with no outs in the 10th... Chicago pitchers combined for five wild pitches in the sixth inning, breaking the MLB regular season record."
~

Baseball FAIL - Democracy FAIL degrees of separation

In the final days, Joe Ricketts, the wealthy AmeriTrade founder whose family owns the Chicago Cubs, threw $200,000 into television ads questioning Mr. Bruning’s character and business record. Mr. Ricketts is one of the primary funders of an anti-incumbent "super PAC," the Campaign for Primary Accountability, that has been roiling congressional races throughout the country.

BREAKING: Cubs fire GM Jim "Anchovies" Hendry after 9 sad, beautiful years

Could be good for the Cubs, but bad for this blog, and for scrappy, middle-aged ballplayers everywhere. In tribute, I'm cramming in one last round of Hendry tags.

May the Goat Curse continue to work...

The Ricketts family is against “wasteful government spending” unless it helps make them rich

It's funny that Joe Ricketts is so passionate against “wasteful government spending” when his family, led by son, Cubs Chairman Tom Ricketts, has just asked the people of Illinois to borrow $300 million in a bond offering so that it can rehab Wrigley Field. This request follows a vote in Mesa, AZ which guaranteed the Cubs $84 million in public funds to build a new spring training stadium and facility.

Cubs / fiery crash nexuses in the news (cont'd)

News item: The Chicago Cubs are in discussions with Toyota on a multi-year deal to have the car maker’s emblem adorn a lighted sign in the left-field bleachers at Wrigley Field.

New Opening Day tradition at Wrigley?

Not again! Giant Swedish Christmas goat statue gets torched

STOCKHOLM (Reuters) – Arsonists set fire early on Wednesday to a giant straw statue of the Swedish Yule goat, a forerunner to Santa Claus in Sweden, defying security measures for a third year in a row.

Our long metropolitan nightmare is over

and he's a Smelt

According to the Chicago Sun-Times, the Cubs are eyeing Padres' third baseman Kevin Kouzmanoff.

He was never a K-Madder, I swear

Prospectus on Mark Pawalek

[T]he Cubs appeared to have quite a find in Pawelek, when the left-hander that some saw as the top high school pitcher in the draft fell to 20th overall due to bonus concerns, and quickly signed for a slightly over-slot bonus of $1.75 million. Seen as a highly polished product who might move quickly, instead conditioning issues, effort issues, and the occasional ridiculous injury (he broke his non-throwing arm two years ago by tripping over his PlayStation) led to just four innings in a full-season league, and just 149 1/3 IP overall in his four professional seasons. Harvey and Pawelek were supposed to be the team's starting right fielder and a fixture in the rotation by now, but instead they're just footnotes in a long thesis proving that the draft is an inexact science.

He might want to check the morgue

MESA, Ariz. -- Cubs reliever Chad Gaudin is trying to find himself this spring, an odyssey which began when he was selected by the Andersonville Horror in the 24th round of this year's FISK draft.

He's got da BAEKs -- Bury Annudder Execrable K-Madder.

How soon before the Colonel wishes he was back at the bottom of the river?

Can Japanese Colonel Sanders Statue End The Cubs' Curse?

Let's think about that a minute... NO.

postseason haiku

years flow like water
generations live, and die
goat curse still working

eighty dollar seat
assholes spilling beer on me
soriano: whiff!

they say the ivy
turns bright crimson in the fall
no one knows for sure

Nationwide Cubs Disaster

Dat dude wiff da goat musta been really, really, really, really, really mad wiff da Cubs...

~

the accolades roll in (cont'd)

"I'm sure there's a lot more guys out there that hate each other more than he and I do."*
-- New Cub outfielder Jim Edmonds, on his relationship with Carlos Zambrano

(* quote unfairly taken out of context)

as reported here Friday (cont'd)

The Chicago Scum-Slimes reports that the Cubs will pursue Jim Edmonds as soon as he clears waivers on Wednesday.

Sources tell the "paper" that Edmonds has told his agent that the Cubs are the first team he wants to talk with. Edmonds would likely replace Felix Pie on the team's roster, and share center field duties with Reed Johnson.

I swear he's not a k-madder

HR - J Votto (5, 2nd inning off J Lieber 0 on, 0 Out), A Dunn (6, 2nd inning off J Lieber 0 on, 0 Out), P Bako (4, 2nd inning off J Lieber 0 on, 1 Out), J Hairston Jr (1, 2nd inning off J Lieber 1 on, 2 Out).

Anudder Nort'side Suck-Fest

Suppan?!, Kendall?!?! lead Brewers over Cubs 8-2 as Chicago loses 2nd straight
Preview Box Score Recap

CHICAGO (AP)—So much for the Chicago Cubs getting off to a fast start in their quest to win the World Series for the first time in 100 years. Jeff Suppan held Chicago to two runs and six hits in 6 1-3 innings, Rickie Weeks homered on the game’s first pitch and Jason Kendall reached base five straight times to lead the Milwaukee Brewers over the Cubs 8-2 Wednesday. Ryan Braun and ex-Cub Kendall—batting ninth—had three hits each in Milwaukee’s 14-hit attack. The Cubs were 8 1/2 games back of the Brewers in late June last season after a slow start before overtaking Milwaukee to win the NL Central. Chicago lost Monday’s opener 4-3 in 10 innings.
Suppan (1-0) gave up Derrek Lee’s home run leading off the fourth on a 41-degree day and left after allowing Geovany Soto’s (MONK!) home in the seventh. Salomon Torres relieved Suppan and, after consecutive one-out singles by Felix Pie and Mike Fontenot, retired Ryan Theriot on a flyout and struck out Alfonso Soriano—off to an 0-for-9 start. Chicago starter Ted Lilly (0-1) gave up four runs and five hits in 4 2-3 innings.
Milwaukee took a 3-0 lead in the fourth when Braun doubled off Aramis Ramirez’s glove at third, Bill Hall had an RBI single and Corey Hart delivered an RBI double. Lee’s first homer got a run back for the Cubs in the bottom half but Milwaukee drove out Lilly in the fifth when Kendall doubled, and Lilly hit Prince Fielder in the side with a two-out pitch. Braun greeted Kevin Hart with an RBI single for a 4-1 lead. Fans at Wrigley Field started to boo* the Cubs in the sixth when Milwaukee scored without a hit thanks to two walks, three stolen bases and a Soto’s error.
Notes
Longtime Cubs’ clubhouse manager Yosh Kawano, who joined the team in 1943, two years before its last World Series appearance, is leaving the job. He will stay with team in another capacity and be honored at a ceremony later this season. Kawano turns 87 in June. Dis poor guy has probably seen more losses in the history of losing dan anybody...

*Dose are da real Chicago fucking fans?...MY FUCKING ASS!!

tough one today

Milwaukee 4, Chi Cubs 3, 10 innings

See also: the last century.

And Gagme gets "the win" - how stupid is that?

when does he start working this kind of magic on the Cubs?

For Whom the Zell Tolls

"I’d say people are shocked and demoralized," said one insider. "This billionaire [Zell] comes in and says he is going to save us and then he screws us..."

"The whole history of this being a great national paper, this is definitely the death knell," said one shell-shocked insider.

Resolved: The people of Chicago are entitled to tell Sam Zell what he should do with his asset

"We intend to sell the Cubs on our time frame and in the manner in which we choose," Zell said on CNBC. "The idea of a debate occurring over what I should do with my asset leaves me somewhat questioning the integrity of the debate."