Friday, June 22, 2007

Piniella: But that Lou guy, WHAT AN IDIOT!

Piniella: 'I like Barrett' Also: Lou Lies A LOT

By Paul "Idiot Asshole" Sullivan
Tribune staff reporter
Published June 22, 2007, 7:39 PM CDT

Cubs manager Lou Piniella shrugged off criticism from the Padres' Geoff Blum that he doesn't particularly like catchers. Blum used White Sox catcher Toby Hall as evidence, without getting into specifics.

"Ask [Michael] Barrett," Piniella said. "Ask [Koyie] Hill. Ask Henry [Blanco]. I don't know. I haven't said a word to anybody here. You know what's amazing, is that Lou wants to see things done right. That's all Lou wants. And if you do things right, you win baseball games. But I had a great relationship with Michael."

Piniella said he didn't see Barrett's reaction at his news conference to a question about his relationship with Piniella. Barrett appeared not to be a fan of Piniella's tough-love style.

"Look, I like Michael. I had many nice conversations with the man," Piniella said. "I was supportive. But you know what? You all ask me questions. Ask the people who played for me. They'll give you good responses, one way or another. … You do things right and you win baseball games. And that's what you want your players to do, and with Michael, he gave me everything he had."

And dat's why da Cubzzz got rid of him FOR NOTHING AND THREW IN $1.5 MEEEELion.

Shocking Developement


Thursday, June 21, 2007

There's probably something to be learned here...

Woman jailed for testicle attack
A woman who ripped off her ex-boyfriend's testicle with her bare hands has been sent to prison.

"That caused my underpants to come off and I found I was completely naked and in excruciating pain."

Do you have five minutes to waste?

Then read dis...
Ask Paul Sullivan aka The Smug Jerk Idiot Asshole Cubz Apologist
The Tribune's Cubs reporter takes a dump on the internets and slides through it

speaking of lying liars...

Lake winds cooling Chicago
The threat of severe weather in the Chicago area this afternoon has lessened*.

On da flipside, in DC the forecast today was for sun all day. Right now we're having a thunderstorm and it might^ rain for the next several hours.

*aka sKILLy's forecast was totally wrong!

^aka We don't phokking know either, just like our original forecast.

Cubzzz Update...still sucking

Down 5-0 behind the suddenly horrible Ted Lilly (Hendry signing)....

And is anyone shocked that Jason Marquis (Hendry signing) is showing his true colors (a white streak flying out of parks).

Sure glad i'm not a Cubz fan...i surely would have killed myself by now.

here's a HYOOOGE phokking lie

General manager Jim Hendry denied Barrett's fight with Zambrano on June 1 was an impetus to get rid of Barrett. "Truthfully, the fight had nothing to do with it," Hendry said.

Yo, Pizzaman, we're not all phokking idiots like you.

More phokking bullshit:
"We felt [Barrett] was well on his way* to becoming a terrific player*, an All-Star caliber player*," Hendry said. "This year he has had a tougher time defensively, and a lot of it's probably from trying too hard, and some of it's maybe because it's the last year of his deal, but he has been a really, really good offensive player*."

* So you trade him FOR NOTHING and THROW IN
$1.5 MEEEEELLION? Why hasn't this blubbering, idiotic, stoooooopid, moron been fired already?

Who's the smart guy now?

Failed States Index Scores 2007

1. Sudan
2. Iraq(/U.S.)
3. Somalia
4. Zimbabwe

160. The Good Ol' U S and A

177. Phokking Norwegian Phokks

Smiff is feeling angry, frustrated, seething, hot, bothered, HATEful...

• Southern California produces 10 percent of the world's serial killers.

What color are da Chix?

• Chickens lay eggs that are the color of their earlobes.

tough to see dis one coming

Anibal Sanchez will undergo K-Mad-induced exploratory arthroscopic shoulder surgery Thursday.
Sanchez's season is likely over. "They're going to take a look in there with a scope," general manager Larry Beinfest said Wednesday. "I don't think they know exactly what it is, but they're going to need to take a look."

Wednesday, June 20, 2007


LA Dodgers
H. Kuo (L, 1-2) 1.2 6 8 8 2 1 1 6.65

we need to run government more like a business (cont'd)

(AP) — A computer malfunction at United Airlines halted all departures systemwide for two hours Wednesday, the carrier said.

The cause was not immediately clear.

He Gone?

Getting rid of the catcher who can't catch leaves team with catchers who can't hit.

Finally... Finally! Some good news about Pong

Stephen Taylor's remix of Pong, the classic video game, has more than just some extra flash. The George Mason University student has pushed programming tricks to new levels. Plasma Pong starts with the familiar table-tennis recreation, but instead of hitting the ball with paddles, players apply jets of fluid and suction to make it move. Imagine playing Pong while sitting inside a lava lamp, and you get the idea. Modeling fluid behavior is a nifty feat, and one that is winning applause from computer scientists, says today's Washington Post.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

never trust a phant

you know you suck when...

WP: A.Benitez (1-3)


Jonny Gomes homered and doubled in a run Monday versus the Diamondbacks. He's slowing down. Still, the solid performance figures to put Gigantic-Piece-of-Shit Elijah Dukes on the bench for a seventh straight game on Tuesday.


Josh Johnson lasted only 3 2/3 innings and gave up eight runs -- four earned -- to the White Sox in his season debut Monday. Johnson started off the outing walk, single, walk, with the first base on balls going to a guy (Jerry Owens) who hadn't drawn one all season. He was a little better after that, but back-to-back errors in front of a Jim Thome homer in the fourth -- one committed by Johnson himself -- helped get him pulled from the game. While Johnson should improve next time, mixed leaguers will want to wait a while to activate him.

Monday, June 18, 2007

here's a rare site

Monks and Horrorz boff in 1st place??? WTF?????

Gamble Standings, W L
19 Drunk Monks 42 27

Hunter Standings, W L
8 Andersonville Horror 42 27

who's more gutless than the French?

French Canadians.

Tough Bill on Campus Gun Control Likely to Become Law in Quebec
The Quebec government has introduced legislation designed to keep guns — even toy props for theatrical productions — out of schools and off university campuses.

This is, of course, exactly the opposite of what we should be doing: distributing guns to all students on the first day of class. Then every classroom will be safe from scruffy interlopers (Smiff!), and every drunken frat brawl can be brought to swift conclusion at the appropriate level of fiery, bloody, drunken, rampaging-hormone mayhem.

he has his father's firm hand grip

Todd Stroger taking medical leave

(Crain's) — Cook County Board President Todd Stroger will take a leave of up to three weeks for what is being described only as a routine medical procedure, his office announced Monday.

road trip?

QT News You Can Use:
• The Elbruz Organization at notes that Vulcan Point in Crater Lake on Vulcano Island in Lake Taal on Luzon is the world's largest island in a lake on an island in a lake on an island.

anudder Smiff SHTEAL

In his third and final start for Single-A Visalia, Max Scherzer pitched five scoreless innings and struck out nine on Sunday. Scherzer, quickly emerging as one of the game's top pitching prospects, is on his way to Double-A after posting a 0.53 ERA and a 30/2 K/BB ratio in 17 innings for Visalia.

finally, some good news

A clown who entertains children in Sheffield, England, was denied liability insurance because he blows bubbles in his act, and there is the potential that a child could slip on a bubble and fall down.

It is?

Will politics allow transit cuts? Getting Around: A reality check: It's simply implausible that officials would cut buses on 63 CTA routes and Pace would slash two-thirds of its service.

what is the childhood malady?


New: Stroger takes medical leave

Sunday, June 17, 2007

take dat, HATERS (Joe Maddon)

Jonny Gomes homered twice and drove in four runs as the Devil Rays beat the Rockies 7-4 on Sunday. Gomes also doubled and walked, scoring three times in the contest. Gomes never should have been sent to the minors in the first place, and he's doing his best job to prove it by going 8-for-14 with three homers since being promoted. We're still concerned that manager Joe Maddon won't want to use him as often as he should, but Gomes is well worth using in AL-only leagues right now.

on da udder hand, i *do* HATE da Chix

Ian Snell will miss his scheduled start Tuesday with a burn blister on his right index finger. Snell burned his finger while grilling chicken for a salad he was preparing for himself. He thought he'd be able to pitch Tuesday anyway, but the Pirates aren't going to take any chances. With the off day Monday, he can easily be pushed back to Saturday. Tom Gorzelanny will be moved up to get the start on Tuesday.

what is K-Mad waiting for???

86 L 29 Tor Tallet,Br 25 1.80

smiff drunk

why cant you delete posts?

ME! ME!...I know why...Buddy Bell is a Monumental Idiot!

John Buck supplied the Royals with a pair of solo homers Saturday in a one-run loss to the Marlins.
Both were solo shots, as Ryan Shealy went 0-for-4 with three strikeouts ahead of him in the order. One of the biggest mysteries of the season is why the Royals have refused to move Buck up in the order even though he's been their best hitter from day one this year. Buck has 12 homers this year, but he's only managed 24 RBI. It's true he's hitting better with the bases empty -- only three of his homers have come with runners on -- but it's also a fact that he just hasn't had as many opportunities as most.

funny...guess who let him loose so da Monks could jump on him???

Brad Hawpe hit his first career grand slam and later singled and walked as the Rockies topped the Rays 10-5 on Saturday.
Hawpe has three homers in four games and 10 since the beginning of May. Unlike 2006, he got off to a slow start this season, hitting .256 with one homer during April. However, he's been one of the game's best right fielders since. The only NL outfielders with better OPSs are Barry Bonds, Matt Holliday and Ken Griffey Jr.

yeah, Joe Maddon, HYOOOGE idiot, but you know who gets most of the blame for dis one...

Spell it loud, spell it proud...K...M...A...D.

Andy Sonnanstine took his first major league defeat after giving up seven runs and three homers to the Rockies on Saturday.
Sonnanstine is going to give up his share of homers. The problem is that only one of the three he allowed tonight was a solo shot. He surrendered a grand slam in the first and then a two-run shot in the third. We give manager Joe Maddon some of the blame here. There's just no excuse for intentionally walking a guy in the first inning, and that's exactly what Maddon had Sonnanstine do with Todd Helton up, men on second and third and one out. Sonnanstine got Garrett Atkins to pop up for the second out, but Brad Hawpe launched one to give the Rockies a big early lead.