Friday, February 29, 2008

when does he start working this kind of magic on the Cubs?

For Whom the Zell Tolls

"I’d say people are shocked and demoralized," said one insider. "This billionaire [Zell] comes in and says he is going to save us and then he screws us..."

"The whole history of this being a great national paper, this is definitely the death knell," said one shell-shocked insider.

Clinton faces Kenya cattle fine over Obama photo

News item: NAIROBI (Reuters) - Kenyan elders may impose a fine on U.S. presidential hopeful Hillary Clinton, payable in livestock, after a photo of her rival Barack Obama in robes dragged their people into the race for the White House.

gosh, we never expected people to show up

News item: Record turnout in this year's presidential primaries has election officials worried about possible shortages of machines, ballots and poll workers in November.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Speaking of recycling...

Smiff mentioned earlier dat MSNBC decided to spend a few minutes Farrakhan-bashing. Well, apparently BillO noticed too (Smiff & BillO have something in common? Fung's not surprised) and complained about it on his show. Then KO has BillO as his "Worst Person in the World" for complaining about the Farrakhan thing and then spending more time on it than MSNBC did.

Now I know BillO and KO have been feuding since the Spanish Inquisition, but can they at least wait a week? You know, and deal with real news? That is what they're supposed to do, right?

please, don't eat

There are now 1,866 Americans fasting for "holiness in the life of George W. Bush," up from 1,493 a year ago, according to, for those keeping track.

What do you think, idiots?

  • Do you want to see more night games at Wrigley Field?

    Yes (1971 responses)


    No (1618 responses)


  • Do you want to see more concerts at Wrigley Field?

    Yes (1558 responses)


    No (1861 responses)


  • Should the naming rights be sold for Wrigley Field?

    Yes (673 responses)


    No (2951 responses)



WASHINGTON - President Bush said Thursday that the country's wealthy are not recession-bound and, despite expressing concern about slowing economic growth, rejected for now any additional stimulus efforts. "We acted robustly," he said, referencing Merriam-Websters second definition of that word. He then noted that rather than using the accepted macroeconomic definition of recession: a slowdown in a country's gross domestic product, or negative real economic growth, for two or more successive quarters of a year, he was relying only on the dictionary definition "a period of reduced economic activity."
"We have not yet reached a 'period'" he remarked, noting that it has been more like a smidgeon, glimmer, dash or spot of reduced economic activity. "There's no sure-fire way to know we are in a recession before January 09, I think," he added.

"We'll see the effects of this pro-growth package," Bush told reporters at a White House news conference, referencing himself and his major contributors with his pronoun. He acknowledged that some lawmakers, are already talking about a second stimulus package, aimed at the middle-class. "Why don't we let stimulus package 1, which seemed like a good idea at the time, have a chance to kick in?" Bush's eloquent comments were of course evocative of FDR's first fireside chat after his court packing plan, when, using brevity as the essence of wit, he reminded the American people "it seemed like a good idea at the time."

Bush's view of the economy was decidedly rosier than that of many economists, who say the country is nearing recession territory or may already be there. The difference, said White House spokeswoman Dana Perino is that "the President is drawing a distinction between the haves and the have-mores." "I'm concerned about the economy," he said, subtextually indicating that he is concerned about his own financial well being. "I don't think we're headed to recession. But no question, we're in a slowdown." His first we was meant to represent families with an income in excess of $200,000 per year, and the second we was intended to represent lazy, non-constituent, and probably black families.

The centerpiece of government efforts to brace the wobbly economy is a package Congress passed and Bush signed last month. It will rush rebates ranging from $300 to $1,200 to millions of people and give tax incentives to businesses. That money can be used by most consumers to offset the higher price of gas, or to buy a Nintendo Wii. There are indications that paying $4 for a gallon of gasoline is not out of the question once the summer driving season arrives. Asked about that, Bush said "That's interesting. I hadn't heard that. ... I know it's like $6 now, right?"
Bush criticized the Democratic presidential candidates over their attempts to disassociate themselves from the North American Free Trade Agreement, a free-trade pact between the U.S., Canada and Mexico. Bush said the deal is contributing to more and better-paying jobs for Americans - outside the US.
Following his news conference, Bush expressed confidence in the nation's ability to weather the economic downturn. "We'll make it through this period just like we made it through other periods of uncertainty during my presidency," Bush said, suggesting our long national nightmare is just beginning.

Republican Multi-tasking

Boehner tells GOP to get off 'dead asses'
I didn't actually read this article, but I'm assuming that it has to do with Republicans combining their two favorite hobbies of beastiality and necrophilia.

Sam Zell: a HYOOOGE @$$hole or the HYOOOGEST @$$hole?

It didn't take long for me to start hating dis @$$hole's guts. And this is a mortal lock: despite their Obama worship, the Chicago Tribune will keep their Republican-lovin' streak alive and endorse John McCain... oh yeah, screw the Cubs. 100 more years of suckin'! (or at least while this @$$hole owns the team...)

But don’t tell that to media mogul Sam Zell, new owner of The Tribune Co. Guess who he blames for the state of the economy?….Wait for it….Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama. Seriously.

"Obviously what we have going on is an attempt to create a self-fulfilling prophecy," said Zell, chairman of Equity Investments Group and owner of the Chicago Cubs, Chicago Tribune, Los Angeles Times and other companies. "We have two Democratic candidates who are vying with each other to describe the economic situation worse."

Yep, no way it could be the ding-a-ling who's been in the White House for the last 7 years...

Winning Hearts And Minds! (WHAM!) (cont'd!)

Sunni Forces Losing Patience With U.S.

BAGHDAD, Feb. 27 -- U.S.-backed Sunni volunteer forces, which have played a vital role in reducing violence in Iraq, are increasingly frustrated with the American military and the Iraqi government over what they see as a lack of recognition of their growing political clout and insufficient U.S. support...

"Now, there is no cooperation with the Americans," said Haider Mustafa al-Kaisy, an Awakening commander in Baqubah, the capital of Diyala province, an insurgent stronghold that U.S. and Iraqi forces are still struggling to control. "We have stopped fighting al-Qaeda..."

"They should make me stronger. They should not weaken me," said Kassim, a former commander in the Islamic Army, an insurgent group. "We need weapons. We need vehicles. We do not even have gas for the few cars we have. When we joined, the Americans promised to provide all necessities. Now we know those were only words..."

Inadvertent U.S. killings of Awakening fighters -- five such incidents have occurred in the past three weeks -- are adding to the frustrations. In the southern town of Jurf al-Sakr, U.S. soldiers killed three fighters Feb. 15. U.S. commanders said that the men had fired upon the soldiers first and that the troops acted in self-defense.

Within hours, more than 1,000 fighters walked away from their posts. Sabah al-Janabi, who heads the Awakening in the area, publicly criticized the U.S. military, alleging it had killed 19 of his men in the past 45 days, which U.S. commanders deny...

In the village of Zaab, west of the northern city of Kirkuk, police officials and witnesses said U.S. forces on Feb. 14 killed six relatives of an Awakening leader, Issa Muhsin al-Jubouri, and detained him and others. In an interview last week, after his release, he said U.S. soldiers had "raised their weapons in my face and shouted at me, 'Confess or I will shoot you.'

"They beat me and cursed me and made me face the wall, saying to me, 'You have exploited the Awakening to support the terrorists,' " Jubouri said. "I kept saying, 'You are mistaken, because I and my family have been victims of terrorists.' "

keeping America safe from Americans

Record-High Ratio of Americans in Prison

More than one in 100 adult Americans is in jail or prison, an all-time high that is costing state governments nearly $50 billion a year, in addition to more than $5 billion spent by the federal government... With more than 2.3 million people behind bars at the start of 2008, the United States leads the world in both the number and the percentage of residents it incarcerates, leaving even far more populous China a distant second, noted the report by the nonpartisan Pew Center on the States.

The ballooning prison population is largely the result of tougher state and federal sentencing imposed since the mid-1980s. Minorities have been hit particularly hard: One in nine black men age 20 to 34 is behind bars...


McCain’s Canal Zone Birth Prompts Queries About Whether That Rules Him Out

Shouldn't they check this (and make a ruling) when a person STARTS their candidacy? They need to change the law anyway. If you're born to US parents, it shouldn't matter where you were when you were born - why would that be good enuff for citizenship but not for the presidency? And why shouldn't Ahnuld be able to run? In a true democracy, we should be able to vote in whoever we want. Even a non citizen. Some guy just off the boat from Haiti should be eligible, at least for the two days before we send him back.

Such Candor... why the US thinks the election has little chance of being "free and fair"...

"I am giving you an order to vote for the President (Cde Mugabe). Do not be distracted. The challenges we are currently facing are just a passing phase," he said.

The Slowskys -- I just got the humor in that name -- funny stuff!

The Comcast Mystery Deepens

if it's a day ending in the letter Y, John McCain must be flip-flopping

McCain: 100-year remark on Iraq 'distorted'

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Tim Russert is a Putz

So i'm watching the 2nd part of last night's debate and they just spent 10+ minutes on Louis Farrakhan?!?!


Hey Tim Russert: Go Fuck Yourself.

Good God (see previous post)

Dodgers manager Joe Torre said he told Nomar Garciaparra that he'd have the inside track at winning the starting job at third base over Andy LaRoche.
Figures. "I talked to him the other day," Torre said. "I explained to him that being the veteran guy, he has the inside track as far as being the starting third baseman. But we will (start the season) with the best 25 (players) we can get." Torre's love of veterans also figures to be good news for Juan Pierre. The Dodgers have shot themselves in the foot a lot the last couple of years with their playing time decisions. Torre has his strengths, but breaking in youngsters isn't one of them.

How to suck at managing, part 785

Tigers manager Jim Leyland announced Wednesday that Miguel Cabrera would open the season batting fifth. Leyland will use a lineup of: CF Curtis Granderson, 2B Placido Polanco, DH Gary Sheffield, RF Magglio Ordonez, 3B Cabrera, 1B Carlos Guillen, SS Edgar Renteria, C Ivan Rodriguez and LF Jacque Jones. Marcus Thames is expected to start over Jones versus lefties.

Yes, batting your best hitter 5th - great idea, Jimmy. Fortunetly for "Smoke 'Em if You Got 'Em" Leyland, Sheff will miss about half the year with a bad hammy and pouting over his contract, his agent, the media, Joe Torre, his hair stylist, the Detroit nightlife, etc.

Was he hanging with Bret Boone?

An arrest warrant has been issued by the Irvine Police Department for Scott Spiezio on six charges stemming from a Dec. 30 incident. The warrant alleges driving under influence, driving under the influence with a blood alcohol content of .08 percent or more, hit and run, aggravated assault, assault and battery. Spiezio was on the restricted list for a time last season because of substance abuse problems.

Smiff is a drunkard, too, but at least i have sense enough to have a personal chauffer (Rebecca) drive me to rock shows where i can have a few gin & tonics and white russians...

He Gone

George Will is now the only conservative capable of speaking in polysyllabic words.

maybe they should follow da Huckster around for like 20 minutes...

News item: The IRS is investigating the United Church of Christ over a speech Sen. Barack Obama gave at its national meeting last year after he became a candidate for president, the denomination said Tuesday.

Whitey Propaganda

But he's a millionaire, I tells you.

The next step for this blog?

From the Blogger Buzz...

With GrandCentral, a free service from Google, you can receive phone calls and post voicemails right on your blog. Though GrandCentral is currently in a private beta test, bloggers can skip the wait and get a free account immediately. Sign up now

I can't think of a better way to enhance da hottest blog on da internets dan dis...

If it's Bush III: IV More Wars, who is going to blow Smiff's brains out because surely i will not be able to take this anymore...

Poll: Obama overtakes Clinton, tied with McCain

Feb. 27 (Bloomberg) -- Barack Obama moved ahead of Hillary Clinton in the battle for the Democratic presidential nomination, and is in a dead heat in a general-election fight against Republican John McCain, who enjoys an advantage on national-security issues.

A Bloomberg/Los Angeles Times survey shows Obama is preferred by Democratic primary voters 48 percent to 42 percent, the first time he has overtaken Clinton in a Bloomberg/Times poll. In a general-election match-up among registered voters, McCain is 2 points ahead of Obama, within the margin of error; he beats Clinton by 6 points.

McCain runs ahead of Obama on every issue except health care.* The Arizona senator has a 13-point advantage on Iraq and a 37- point lead on terrorism. He also does better on managing the economy. One area where Obama has a clear edge is on the question of who would bring the most change in Washington; the Illinois senator has an almost 3-to-1 lead.

*Un-freaking-believable. Yes, very strong on national security: a proven failure who is promising a constant state of war and 100--why not 1,000--years in Iraq. Please, GIVE ME MORE OF THAT...AND DON'T FORGET THE REACH-AROUND! Jesus Phokking Christ already, how FUCKING STUPID IS THIS COUNTRY??

Oh yes, and the economy: McCain has stated he "doesn't understand it."

Does K-Mad still have dat "How to move to Canada" book?

I still love those cute turtles though -- hilarious!

News item: Comcast acknowledges that it hired people to take up room at an F.C.C. hearing into its practices.

It's all about Blago

Blagojevich: NIU's Cole Hall to be demolished

Blagojevich: Cole Hall to be demolished and replaced with Memorial Hall
Associated Press
7:32 AM CST, February 27, 2008

DEKALB, Ill. - Governor Rod Blagojevich's office says the building that was the scene of this month's shooting at Northern Illinois University will be demolished and replaced with a new classroom building. A gunman fatally shot five students attending a lecture inside Cole Hall before turning a gun on himself on Valentine's Day. Blagojevich plans an afternoon news conference to announce funding that will allow NIU to demolish Cole Hall. A new state-of-the-art general classroom building will be built on the site and named Memorial Hall.

At least 16 others were wounded during the attack at the 25,000-student campus about an hour from Chicago. Classes resumed at NIU this week.

I don't know much about this building, except what happened this month of course, but should it be demolished just because of what one person did? I mean, isn't this exactly why people go out and shoot a bunch of other people before killing themselves? That in some sick way they put their indent on history?

yet anudder new Smiff emerges...

The mailing label for my FREE copy (suckers!) of the Baseball Prospectus reads:

Mike Smithey
Smithey Mike Smithey

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Crab Queens Barf...

Well, what does this...mean? And now will the Rays sign Bonds?

Scott Kazmir going for MRI on left elbow

Scott Kazmir will go for an MRI on his left elbow this afternoon after feeling what "felt like a hyperextension" while warming up for Tuesday's intrasquad game.
Kazmir said he did well on strengths tests performed by Rays trainers after the incident and was encouraged that he didn't feel any further pain in the elbow, which was covered by a blue sleeve as he prepared to leave. "It felt like it just jammed a little bit, like a hyperextension," he said.

Or like something broken-star-splittingly horrible. Feb. 26 - 12:20 pm et

Resolved: The people of Chicago are entitled to tell Sam Zell what he should do with his asset

"We intend to sell the Cubs on our time frame and in the manner in which we choose," Zell said on CNBC. "The idea of a debate occurring over what I should do with my asset leaves me somewhat questioning the integrity of the debate."

Has anyone else noticed...

...the treasure trove of unfinished blog posts that were autosaved by Blogger? Sumthin we started on and den never finished? We could, like, release them as bloopers or something - Smiff's Random Thoughts? K-Mad's Mad Dreams? Sarge's Log? Corms' Worms? Fung's cave drawings? Ranger's tales of danger?

Slow news day...

Good times...

According to the Daily News, a major leaguer has informed congressional investigators that Roger Clemens often joked in the clubhouse about a memorable account at a party thrown by Jose Canseco — a scene in which Debbie Clemens and Canseco's ex-wife Jessica compared the results of their surgical breast enhancements.

the Saucer People will appreciate this after we're gone

UN lauds ‘innovative’ Norwegian arctic vault safeguarding world’s crop seeds

Lost in translation?

Or mebbe we need to watch them, not read them?

TV's top 25 put-downs published

More Picture Fun With Obama

I saw NBC news the other night when they talked about all three candidates. They showed a screen that was split three ways with McCain, Clinton and Obama. Although I am not sophisticated enough to pull up a clip and do a screen capture - Obama was standing behind a podium with his favorite placard in front of him - which I am certain read "Change - We Can Believe In." However, the cropping effect by their news department produced an effect which I have tried to replicate above. Lovely. Someone please let O'Reilly know.

And you think Smiff has been drinking again?

Bret Boone revealed Monday than an alcohol problem contributed to him walking away from the game two years ago. Boone had gotten to the point where he would drink 12-15 beers after a game.

Monday, February 25, 2008

sKILLy goes gangsta

Saw this this morning during breakfast. Had me cracking up.

Terrist! Terrist! Terrist!

Dis proves it! He's wit dem! Not wit us! Is dis who you want leading you, America? Somebody who would wear something other than a suit & tie? Wearing terrist clothes? Huh?

Lessee how long "turban-gate" takes to blow over...

Also, dis image does show, quite clearly, that he's not black enuff...

OBP? Dusty still doesn't roll that way...

Reds manager Dusty Baker indicated on Monday that he'd likely keep Brandon Phillips in the cleanup spot this season. "Brandon will probably hit third someday*," Baker said. "But, right now, I need to him break up Junior and (Adam) Dunn." Ken Griffey Jr. always hits third whether he deserves to or not, suggesting that Phillips will clean up and Dunn's superior OBP will again land in the fifth spot. Baker could have gotten more creative given his lack of prototypical top-of-the-order guys, but that's not his style.


Breaking: Rebecca Romijn Gets Parking Ticket

Rebecca's Parking Meter Runs Out


Sarge got caught...

'Girl' at Japan school was 39-year-old man
Tokyo, Japan
22 February 2008 07:27

A Japanese man was arrested for trespassing this week after turning up at a high school dressed in a girl's uniform and a long wig, local police said.

Thirty-nine-year-old Tetsunori Nanpei told police he had bought the uniform over the internet and put it on to take a stroll near the school in Saitama, north of Tokyo, on Wednesday, the daily Asahi Shimbun said.

When students standing outside the gates started to scream at the sight of him, he dashed inside the school grounds, hoping to blend in with the crowds of teenagers, the paper said.

They also screamed, forcing the man to flee, losing his wig in the process. A school clerk pursued him and stopped him at a nearby riverbank, the paper said.

Police confirmed the arrest of the man in school uniform and wig but declined to give further details. - Reuters