Fungster has been stimulated!

Well, his bank account anyway. Now to dream about all the stuff I can buy with all dat dosh. Oh, yes, dat's right. I's going to Yurup. Wit da Yuro the way it is the rebate's probably going to cover the change in the exchange rate in the past, oh, 4 weeks. So I'm gonna end up not spending it here. What a patriot I am...

Insights dat should make you smarter for da weekend...

Notice the RIDICULOUS quote by Bill Clinton. I voted for this @SS#OLE twice? Really, these two are a pair of shameless wonders. I hate them. HATE.

7:58 PM me: Duchscherer just gave up 5 runs...
7:59 PM Kevin: why did you do that?
me: all unearned!
8 minutes
8:08 PM Kevin: you know who sucks?
me: hit me
Kevin: all my players
8:09 PM me: on every team?
Kevin: every team
pat misch starts tomorrow. he'll know what to do...
8:10 PM me: instant, total body weight loss
8:11 PM Kevin: rapid corporeal disassembly syndrome
me: yes
Kevin: we gots a wing for dat an shit
8:14 PM me: Roger Clemens: who hasn't he slept with?
Kevin: can he blame the roids?
8:15 PM me: blame everything on being a Texan
Kevin: ultimate morons
8:16 PM me: yes
8:20 PM Kevin: i'm out of beer
8:21 PM me: wine?
Kevin: nope
shot or two of whiskey left
me: nyquil?
8:22 PM i gotsta cheap pinot here
Kevin: do i look desperate? ok so i look desperate
me: yes
8:23 PM Buster Olney raving about Max Scherzer (Monk!)
8:26 PM Kevin: that's so buster
8:27 PM your boy matt chico pitches tomorrow
one glass of feckin irish whiskey and then its bedtime
8:28 PM me: i have nothing to do wif Matt Chico
8:29 PM Kevin: if that's what you want to believe...
8 minutes
8:37 PM me: your girl Dana Perino coming up on KO...
Kevin: she's a star now?
me: no, just some clips of her lying through her teeth
8:38 PM Kevin: did we have tonight's KO today on LoC?
8:39 PM me: some of it, looks like
Kevin: will the segment be titled "Unconscionable Barefaced Lying?"
8:40 PM me: more likely than "Totally Fullashit"
8:41 PM Kevin: how about HOLY PHOKKING S#I+ THEY SUCK?
me: inspired - we'll see
Kevin: fingers crossed
8:42 PM me: Napoli: anudder HR
8:43 PM Kevin: da machine
8:44 PM me: hit off if Duchscherer dough...
hit it off...
ultimate moron?
8:45 PM Kevin: time will tell
8:49 PM me: your boy, John Hagee, says the devil has been introduced into schools in the form of...?
Kevin: chickens?
clowns?
8:50 PM me: good guesses, but no
Kevin: books and shit?
me: closer
Kevin: teachers? facts? science and shit?
me: all good, but no
Kevin: FUCK
8:51 PM me: Harry Potter
Kevin: damn... shoulda seen that satanic little phokker coming right down the middle of broadway
8:52 PM me: yep
Kevin: on his phokking BROOM no less
me: sounds sissy
Kevin: totally
a gay witch -- hard to get more satanic den dat
8 minutes
9:00 PM me: yep. Hagee: "Harry Potter is a precursor of witchcraft."
9:02 PM Kevin: yeah, you can tell, cuz those books sold like 8 trillion copies, and now we got like 8 trillion little kid witches flying around on brooms turning people into toads and shit...
phokkers
9:03 PM me: more insanity:
9:04 PM Bill Clinton said today, "The great divide in this country is not by race or even income, it's by those who think they are better than everyone else and think they should play by a different set of rules."
$50,000 a speech Bill Clinton said that
Kevin: thats pretty phokked up for him to talk about hillary that way
9:05 PM i mean he may be right and all but still phokked up
did he happen to mention counting the florida and michigan delegates at that point?
9:06 PM oh wait... that's "changing the rules in the middle of the game," which is totally different from playing by "a different set of rules."
9:07 PM me: i didn't hear that, but he did say that those caucus states shouldn't count
Kevin: yeah cuz hillary gets her ass kicked in doze
me: yep, not fair!
9:08 PM Kevin: who ripped out his brains and left a big pile of shit in his cranium?
he was a pretty smart guy once upon a time
9:09 PM me: long before he didn't have sexual relations with that woman
Kevin: you mean seckshal?
me: yeah
9:10 PM Kevin: yeah i seem to remember that not happening
me: it was in all the papers
9:13 PM Kevin: i can't read
you know who really sucks?
me: George W. Bush?
9:14 PM Kevin: yes but not the answer i had in mind
i was thinking: all my players
not as bad as angels pitching though
YOOOOOOOGE spanking out deres tonight
me: it depends what the definition of sucks is
9:15 PM Kevin: i had not thought of that
i can tell you that sucks is not seckshal relations
9:16 PM sucks is sucks, and seckshal relations is seckshal relations, but sucks is not seckshal relations, and seckshal relations is not sucks
dere... rings round ya
me: obviously
9:17 PM 52 dead soldiers in April
dat's an update!
9:18 PM Kevin: i'm sure the rezzzzzidunce will sleep well tonight
me: like Hitler did
9:19 PM Kevin: at least hitler was capable of making a plan
i guess i can never run for office now dat i said dat
9:20 PM datz ok dere was prollaby like meeeeeelions of udder shit dey coulda dug up on me
me: KO's signoff tonight: "Sleep well, Mr. President."
9:21 PM Kevin: wow i'm right in KO's wheelhouse today
6 minutes
9:27 PM me: Fants OPS tonight?
9:28 PM Kevin: yes i was wonderng
me: it ain't "do numbers go that high?"
1.429
9:29 PM Kevin: we hatesez them?
9:30 PM me: don't hate them because they're a pulverizing juggernaut
9:31 PM Kevin: i wouldnt need a reason
me: it's a fair cop
8 minutes
9:40 PM Kevin: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz and shit
me: could happen
9:41 PM Kevin: happening now
its like tomorrow and shit
me: are you in Indiana?

One more asinine, tendentious swipe, and then you can all go have a nice weekend

There are 37,900 hits for "Mission Accomplished For These Sailors Who Are On This Ship On Their Mission," by the way.

Is dis Smiff or Fung?

And when did he move to Japan?

Blame K-Mad & Sarge

The Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel reports that Yovani Gallardo has a torn ACL.
An examination of Gallardo in Milwaukee on Friday morning revealed the injury, which Gallardo suffered in a collision with Reed Johnson on Thursday. The team will wait until swelling subsides to determine if he needs surgery, but there's a good chance he'll miss the rest of the season. Dave Bush will be recalled and replace him in the rotation.

look k-mad... look... never mind...

On April 20, The New York Times published an 8,000-word, front-page article that seemed certain to generate attention. The story, written after the paper sued to gain access to Pentagon records, detailed the close relationship between the Defense Department and some military analysts commenting on the Iraq war for television networks...

Despite these revelations, there was virtually no mainstream media follow up to The Times’ expose, according to PEJ’s News Coverage Index, which monitors approximately 1,300 stories a week from 48 different outlets. Although there was some discussion of The Times scoop in the blogosphere, the Index found only two related stories in the week of April 21-27, both of them in the April 24 PBS NewsHour broadcast. In the cable news universe, where many of these analysts worked, silence greeted the story.

By way of comparison, the Texas polygamy case garnered 50 stories and General Petraeus’ promotion to head of Central Command captured 16. Even Rupert Murdoch’s latest newspaper maneuvering received twice as much attention (4 stories). But the analyst story did generate more attention than news that Senator Larry Craig’s legal fees in his airport bathroom bust now exceeded $400,000 (1 story).

how to profit from financial armageddon

Main Street may be struggling, but Wall Street is on a bit of a roll.

2047?

News item: Zimbabwe election official says date for second round of elections will be announced 'later.'

The Final Word Is Hooray!

"Why don't the damn Democrats give the president his day? He won today. He did well today."
(MSNBC's Chris Matthews, 4/9/03)

"What's he going to talk about a year from now, the fact that the war went too well and it's over? I mean, don't these things sort of lose their--Isn't there a fresh date on some of these debate points?"
(MSNBC's Chris Matthews, speaking about Howard Dean--4/9/03)

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED FOR THESE SAILORS WHO ARE ON THIS SHIP ON THEIR MISSION

MATTHEWS: Do you think this role, and I want to talk politically [...], the president deserves everything he's doing tonight in terms of his leadership. He won the war. He was an effective commander. Everybody recognizes that, I believe, except a few critics. Do you think he is defining the office of the presidency, at least for this time, as basically that of commander in chief? That [...] if you're going to run against him, you'd better be ready to take [that] away from him.

If that's not creepy enough for you...

INGRAHAM: Speaking as a woman, and listening to the women who called into my radio show, seeing President Bush get out of that plane, carrying his helmet, he is a real man. He stands by his word. That was a very powerful moment.

i am shocked... SHOCKED... that this happened in Texas

Man arrested in Texas for trying to cash $360 billion check

FORT WORTH, Texas - Charles Ray Fuller must have been planning one big record company. The 21-year-old North Texas man was arrested last week for trying to cash a $360 billion check, saying he wanted to start a record business. Tellers at the Fort Worth bank were immediately suspicious — perhaps the 10 zeros on a personal check tipped them off.

Already?

Well, it is the law...

Rank Team Points Change Waiver Moves
1. Lord Viper Elefantes 209.5 2 9 21
2. shot_at_bill 203 -2.5 12 20
3. Coach #31 181 0.5 6 9
4. Blue Ward Cyclones 179.5 -1.5 4 3
5. Spackler Bents 164.5 1 3 10
6. clan of terrorists 158 -5 2 15
7. Fightin' Bluestem 150.5 2.5 10 22
8. Golemi Topki 149.5 -2 8 10
9. Columbus Bureaucrats 133 4.5 7 6
10. La Jolla Chemists 128.5 3.5 5 14
11. Mr. Baby's Fortune 115 -2 1 8
12. Maddogs* 100 -1 11 15

*Ouch.

They SUCK.

Woops Wootz

Somehow, Eric "The Awful" Gagne didn't give it back...

Top 9th: Milwaukee
- K. Wood relieved D. Ward
- C. Counsell hit by pitch
- G. Kapler hit for B. Shouse
- G. Kapler doubled to deep left, C. Counsell to third
- J. Kendall singled to shortstop, C. Counsell scored, G. Kapler to third
- R. Weeks walked, J. Kendall to second
- M. Cameron struck out swinging
- R. Braun doubled to deep right, J. Kendall and G. Kapler scored, R. Weeks out at home, R. Braun to third advancing on throw
- P. Fielder grounded out to second
3 runs, 3 hits, 0 errors
Milwaukee 4, Chi Cubs 3

*yoink*

Northwestern withdraws offer of honorary degree to Rev. Wright
May 01, 2008

(AP) — Northwestern University has withdrawn a previously offered honorary degree to Barack Obama's former pastor, the Reverend Jeremiah Wright due to the controversy surrounding Wright’s recent comments.

Alan Cubbage, Northwestern's vice-president for university relations, says the school had offered Wright an honorary Doctorate of Sacred Theology.

However, Cubbage now says the offer has been rescinded "to ensure that the celebratory character of commencement not be affected."

Wright is the former senior minister at Trinity United Church of Christ in Chicago, and his outspoken criticisms of the United States have drawn criticism to Obama's candidacy.

A phone call to Wright's home seeking comment wasn't answered, and the voice mail was full.

Northwestern's commencement is set for June 20th.

If bulls#i++ing were an Olympic event, we'd show those Red Chinese a thing or two...

Ms. Perino: Look, I don't...I didn't know...look, I think you guys should take a step back and look at this op...look, DOD's made a decision, they've decided to stop this program. But I would say that one of the things that we try to do in the administration is get information out to a variety of people so that everybody else can call them and ask their opinion about something. And I don't think that that should be against the law. And I think it's absolutely appropriate to provide information to people who are seeking it and who are going to be providing their opinions on it. It doesn't necessarily mean that all of those military analysts ever agreed with the administration. I think you can go back and look and think that a lot of their analysis was pretty tough on the administration. That doesn't mean that we shouldn't talk to people.

So there. Never mind that it is against the law. Dana doesn't think it should be, and that's good enough for me. Meanwhile, can't we all just get back to hating Emmanuel Goldstein?

Why Big Media Is Mum About Its Propaganda Habit

Shameful Days: Why Won't The Media Pursue the Pentagon Propaganda Scandal?

Multiple choice: Of the following, which outlet covered two recent major national security stories -- NBC, CBS, NPR, PBS, or ... Comedy Central?

TV Networks Remain Mum on NYT Pentagon-Media Propaganda Story -- Critics Keep Firing

News you can use?

Tips: Where they go

So they want me to know where tips go so what, I pay more in tips? Seems like it's just a way to get businesses to pay people less, because they'll get tips to make up for it. And then they take credit card fees from tips? WTF? Isn't that a cost of doing business? More crap that businesses can get away with. Why can't we just pay more for the food and make the tip optional? Return the tip to what it was meant to be - a gratuity for good service, not what keeps people afloat? Seriously, the wage anyone makes should be enough for them to live on. The tip should be icing on the cake, so to speak. Any other system is exploitation.

Oh. That explains it then! Sorry for all the unwarranted hectoring; or, that woulda been a long-ass banner

"President Bush is well aware that the banner should have been much more specific and said 'mission accomplished' for these sailors who are on this ship on their mission. And we have certainly paid a price for not being more specific on that banner."
-- Dana Perino, White House Press Secretary and Rezzzidunt Bulls#i++er for the RezzziDUNCE Bulls#i++er-in-Chief, The RezzziDUNCE George W. Bush (Fullas#i+)

Iraq reneges on our deal, or, Winning Hearts And Minds! (WHAM!) (cont'd!)

You would think that after we spent a trillion dollars to rip their society to s#i+, they'd show a little more gratitude.

Iraq: U.S. has no claim to oil boom
'America has hardly even begun to repay its debt to Iraq,' Baghdad official says

And on the "Mission Accomplished" anniversary, no less...

Also: still clearly having trouble with the "puppet" concept.

there is probably an icky story behind that

News item: N.Y. bans anal electrocution of fur-bearing animals

was Dorf unavailable?

Commencement Speakers

Bethany College (W. Va.)
Bethany, West Virginia
May 17, 2008
Bud Selig, commissioner of Major League Baseball

Bryant University
Smithfield, Rhode Island
May 17, 2008
George H.W. Bush, the former president of the United States, and begetter of idiot spawn The RezzzzziDUNCE George W. Bush

brainzzz shortage: it's an epidemic, folks

*my mother lives here

State moves to ban fake testicles on vehicles
Fri Apr 25, 2008 12:03pm EDT
By Michael Peltier
TALLAHASSEE, Florida (Reuters) - Senate lawmakers in Florida have voted to ban the fake bull testicles that dangle from the trailer hitches of many trucks and cars throughout the state.
Republican Sen. Carey Baker, a gun shop owner from Eustis*, Florida, called the adornments offensive and proposed the ban. Motorists would be fined $60 for displaying the novelty items, which are known by brand names like "Truck Nutz" and resemble the south end of a bull moving north.
The Florida Senate voted last week to add the measure to a broader transportation bill, but it is not included in the House version.
In a spirited debate laced with double entendre, Senate lawmakers questioned whether the state should curtail freedom of expression in vehicle accessories.
Critics of the ban included the Senate Rules Chairman, Sen. Jim King, a Jacksonville Republican whose truck sported a pair until his wife protested.
The bill's sponsor doubted it would succeed.
"It's probably not going to make it through the process," Baker said on Thursday. "It won't be much of story in a few days."

if you want to make a s#i+-blowing-up omelete, sometimes you have to break a few eggs of mass deception

Pentagon Pundit Scandal Broke the Law -- The Whining Continues (Cont'd)

"It violates, for starters, specific restrictions that Congress has been placing in its annual appropriation bills every year since 1951."

Oh, like anybody reads those...

straight-talk express (cont'd)

Say again?

Sen. Charles Schumer (D-N.Y.) when asked to comment on John McCain's statement that the United States can't get along without maintaining a military presence in Iraq for many years to come:

"I not only think we could get along without it, but I think one of our big problems has been the fact that many Iraqis resent American military presence. . . . As soon as we can reduce our visibility as much as possible, the better I think it is going to be."

Then again, what do you expect from --

No. Wait. Those are the words of John McCain in 2005.

Sorry.

"a psychopath addicted to human attention": if it's good enough for RezzziDUNCE Bush, why not a cute, little polar bear?

Knut: From sensation to problem

One zoologist calls the grown polar bear "a psychopath addicted to human attention."
• Star panda dies
• Zoo baby pics

who are these sources and why do they hate Fung?

Sources said Lake Shore Drive would not be among the four test corridors.

What have bison, wolves, kokanee, pygmy rabbits, jaguars, ocelots, and Sonoran pronghorns ever done for us?

BushCo., not content enough with their contempt of the human race, don't care much for animals either...

Oh, Give Me A Home, Where The Buffalo Roam…Die

“There has never been a slaughter like this of the bison since the 1800s in this country, and it’s disgusting,” said Mike Mease of the Buffalo Field Campaign, a group seeking to stop the slaughter program for good.

the problem with brainzzz

We don't got any...

In a press conference yesterday, President Bush said, "I think we're making progress in Afghanistan" -- days after President Hamid Karzai was the subject of an attempted assassination plot. The Interior Ministry said the Taliban, nearly vanquished from the country in 2001, admitted to launching the attack...

WORSE IN 2008?: 2007 was the bloodiest year in Afghanistan since 2001, with 6,000 killed in the country. Maj. Gen. Jeffrey Schloesser, who commands U.S. forces in Afghanistan, said violence in 2008 "may well reach a higher level than it did in 2007," as insurgents pour in from Pakistan. "This year won't be different," he said. The attempted assassination of Karzai "came as the latest sign of a trend" that the insurgency in Afghanistan "is spreading from the Taliban stronghold of the south to the central and northern regions of the country," Christian Science Monitor reported this week. Furthemore, "[t]here is no security force in Afghanistan that people trust," according to member of parliament Ramazan Bashardost. He added that, after a recent attack, "the security forces fled the area before the ordinary people did." Afghanistan also has rates of illiteracy "among the highest in the world," a "weak and corruption-ridden government," and still retains the world's largest opium poppy crop.

BUSH CLAIMS WE'RE WINNING: Nevertheless, Bush remains blindly optimistic. "Do you think we're winning?" in Afghanistan, a reporter asked yesterday. "I do, I think we're making good progress. I do, yes.."

Stubborn problem

News Headline: "Marines flood into Taliban-held Afghanistan."

And why is there still a Taliban-held Afghanistan seven years after 9/11?

Oh. Right.

Has anyone taken the trouble to thank President Bush lately?

the LA hot dog - an oxymoron

Like, for starters, what's that red stuff I see on the right? Is that ketchup? My phokking @SS.

From Dodger Dogs to organic franks, L.A. is a hot dog town... NOT (ed.)

can bear meat be made into fuel?

Judge orders U.S. government to decide polar bear listing

(AP) ANCHORAGE, Alaska — A federal judge has ordered the Interior Department to decide within 16 days whether polar bears should be listed as a threatened species because of global warming...

A decision to list polar bears due to global warming could trigger a recovery plan with consequences beyond Alaska. Opponents fear it would subject new power plants and other development projects to federal review (i.e., communism -- ed.) if they generate greenhouse gasses that add to warming in the Arctic (why do polar bears hate our freedom? -- ed.)...

In response to the petition filed in 2005, the Fish and Wildlife Service proposed in December 2006 that polar bears be listed as threatened under the Endangered Species Act because of the loss of their primary habitat, Arctic sea ice.

Summer sea ice shrank last year to a record low, about 1.65 million square miles in September, nearly 40 percent less ice than the long-term average between 1979 and 2000. Some climate models have predicted the Arctic will be free of summer sea ice by 2030.

A U.S. Geological Survey study generated in response to the listing petition predicted that polar bears in Alaska could be wiped out by 2050...

Look, we all know there won't be any more polar bears in a few decades, so why should we sacrifice our economic growth to a doomed effort to save them?

Bears to Run Double Wing formation

In the double-wing formation the quarterback is moved out on to the weak side as a blocking back. The ball is typically snapped directly to the tailback or fullback. Coach Lovie Smith noted that the double-wing formation will allow the team to have promising young quarterbacks Orton and Grossman on the field at the same time, and thus allow the team to make a decision on which quarterback, if any, to retain should the team decide to return to a pro-style offense, which the coach noted was "unlikely."

Lincoln-Douglass debates

Faux News fondly recalls the Lincoln-Douglass debates.

I think I know this guy...

he was the one spilling beer on Corms while going back to his seat during the fourth inning a couple Sundays ago while Aramis smoked a double to left.

Or was he one of those guys throwing baseballs on the field and giving Marty Brennaman jittery rage?

From the Marc Normandin chat on baseballprospectus.com comes this little nugget of ignorance during a discussion of Will Clark's worthiness for the Hall of Fame:

Gray (Chicago): Yeah, but Grace was the man...smoked 2 packs a day, played old school baseball and tells great stories.

Marc Normandin: Like that one about the time Clark's team rocked the Cubs in the playoffs? That's being unfair to Grace though, who hit .647/.682/1.118 over those 5 games.

Andrew (Brooklyn): You are all fuckers. I would rather have John Olerud than Mark Grace, because at least Olerud wasn't a fucking backstabbing piece of shit who got away with undercutting his teammates because he had a sly grin and an ability to make the nerd beat writers feel, for a moment, like they went out with a cheerleader once - you can take his two packs a day and shove them up your bleacher sitting inning standing ass and light them. Old school baseball? What does that even fucking mean? Bunting? Hustling? Hitting singles from the three hole? Great. Only playing with white people? Go watch fucking Bull Durham again and pretend like you're not talking out of that asscrack you call a mouth you PHOKKKKKKKKKK!

Smiff Knows Awfulness

HACKING MASS 2008
(Average Team 2008 ESPN: 86.3555)
Owner Team Name 2008 ESPN
1. statsMonger22 62-100 198
2. krukker Deadwood Drunks IV: The Awfulness 185
3. stansby Where's Barry? 182

Unlikely to last since Matt Morris was so awful he was released. I should get extra points for that.

GET WHAT PLANTS CRAVE!

BRAWNDO: The Thirst Mutalator
Lemon Lime, 200mg caffeine, Taurine, Inositol, Guarana, Electrolytes – NO high fructose corn syrup, Carbonated, Bright Green, 16oz.cans, 200 MG Caffiene plus Potassium, Vitamins B6, B12 and C. Get what plants crave... Brawndo. Make your hair bigger. Crush more skulls. Live like a Viking. This case weighs 29 pounds. It's heavy. Like logs. $39.95

A high caffeine, energy drink? Does this scream K-Mad, or what? Ya gotsta get some of what plants crave!!

there will probably be nothing to see here, so move along quickly

Scientists seek clues as earthquakes rattle Reno

RENO, Nev. (AP) — Scientists are scrutinizing seismic readings and studying damage to residents' homes trying to figure out what's happening beneath the earth's surface to cause a troubling swarm of hundreds of earthquakes in northern Nevada.

"We're looking at just about everything," said Diane dePolo, a network seismologist at the University of Nevada, Reno's Seismological Laboratory. "We haven't been able to associate it with any known fault."

During the past week alone, more than 500 mostly minor quakes have been recorded in the area. The two most recent widely felt quakes measured 3.1 and occurred about 11 p.m. Monday...

The shaking is unusual, seismologists say, because the intensity of the quakes has increased over the past few weeks. Generally, earthquakes tend to occur and are followed by smaller aftershocks.

smartest man in world running third in Indiana primary

Obama: 41%
Clinton: 38%
Not Sure: 21%

Source: WTHR TV

Does Smiff have this right?

So Pastor Jeremiah Wright's response to his "whitey keeping darky down" rhetoric is 1) make a
congregant look as bad as possible on the national stage, thereby helping 2) the 72 year old white guy elected. You know, the guy who is so down with the brothers that he continually opposed the Martin Luther King holiday. Yes, the holiday doesn't mean much in the grand scheme of things, but it should tell us a lot about McCrazy's feelings about race. Rev. Wright, you think the federal government doesn't give a shit about darky? Yeah, and eight more years of McBush will certainly help that...what a maroon. Why is Wright doing this? Let's see:

1) is jealous
2) is a raving egomaniac
3) like's the limelight
4) is getting paid by McCrazy and/or Hill-Rod
5) the crazier the things he says, the bigger the advance on the book deal
6) is totally full@s#i+
7) is phokking nuts
8) in his spare time he likes to throw people under CTA busses and L trains
9) secretly hates darky
10) all of the above.

As far as conspiracy theories like the federal government is behind the AIDS virus (uh, and wouldn't that have been to initally wipe out homosexual men? just askin'...) or 9/11: they can't deliver the phokking mail. BushCo. can't find their asses with one hand, let alone two, so it's hard to believe they arranged 9/11 since: it worked.

what took him so long?

News item: Bush Blames Democrats For Sliding Economy
President says Democratic-controlled Congress has blocked proposals to address issues ranging from soaring gasoline prices to increasing food costs.

so quit yer whinin' (Smiff)

Woofie: ‘The Occupation Of Iraq Ended In June 2004′

Feds listening to Fung?

Big traffic revamp: More bus-only lanes, rush-hour meters

Lanes dedicated to buses-only will be created on four major city corridors that were not immediately identified. One could be Lake Shore Drive.

Woo Hoo!

In addition, buses will make fewer stops—four to five blocks apart. Kiosks will be installed at the bus stops to enable passengers to pre-pay their fares and board quickly once the bus arrives.

Remember, don't take away my bus stop...

chicken pie house of horrors revisited

You see it, don't you? The sinister subtext practically leaps off the screen!

The granny cannibal—the Grannibal—offers up her grandkids baked into a pie. "Hello, weary traveler. Come in, come in. Can I get you someone—that is to say, something to eat?" Her eagerness lends a pathetic note to her treachery...

Roger's fullas#i+ problem

"If true, it's just another example of Roger's pervasive prevarications which will be at the core of any defamation case."

-- Richard Emery, attorney for Brian McNamee, who is the target of Roger Clemens' defamation suit for telling everyone about the steroids and s#i+, responding to news reports that someone named Mindy McCready, who is apparently famous or something, was more than a family friend to Clemens from the time McCready was 15 and s#i+.

When did fullas#i+ become pervasive prevarications, and when can we have fullas#i+ back?

World Records?

After establishing the highest rate of inflation in the world, Zimbabwe has now gone an entire month without Presidential results being released. I don't know whether to be impressed by that, or really, really sad. But supposedly they're ready to have the different parties come in and collate the Presidential results. In the meantime, keep moving, coz there's nothing to see here...

Sorry I stepped away...

...I've been too busy at work, but I'm sure the Bears must have drafted a QB. Something must be wrong with my internet connection because I can't seem to pull up anything with a search for Bears + QB + draft. Can anyone help me out here?

anudder reason for K-Mad to visit SoCal...

San Diego Chicken Pie Shop

$6.95 gets you a chicken pie (stuffed with chicken!), whipped potatoes, veggies, roll, cole slaw and a piece of pie (Smiff got lemon).

Smiff at an even lower point...

Apparently all the rage at twitpic...

her experience is just so important when...wait a minute

Well, the real news was that Barack Obama is too cool to win states like Pennsylvania, not that Hillary was basically playing out of the George Bush book of "How to Talk Dirty to Foreign Countries". What's important here is the woman can knock back a shot of Jack like it's milk and cookies. Meanwhile, she seems to like this redneck gene, you know the one that's been injected into our culture to give us the wonders of Fox News, Ultimate Man Fighting, the Iraq War and Britney Spears (who lost 20 lbs and cellulite over the past couple months!).

From the Boston Globe a reminder of the tires were kicking, something about the engine:

Hillary Strangelove

AMERICANS have learned to take with a grain of salt much of the rhetoric in a campaign like the current Democratic donnybrook between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama. Still, there are some red lines that should never be crossed. Clinton did so Tuesday morning, the day of the Pennsylvania primary, when she told ABC's "Good Morning America" that, if she were president, she would "totally obliterate" Iran if Iran attacked Israel.

This foolish and dangerous threat was muted in domestic media coverage. But it reverberated in headlines around the world.

Responding with understatement to a question in the British House of Lords, the foreign minister responsible for Asia, Lord Mark Malloch-Brown, said of Clinton's implication of a mushroom cloud over Iran: "While it is reasonable to warn Iran of the consequences of it continuing to develop nuclear weapons and what those real consequences bring to its security, it is probably not prudent in today's world to threaten to obliterate any other country and in many cases civilians resident in such a country."

A less restrained reaction came from an editorial in the Saudi-based paper Arab News. Being neighbors of Iran, the Saudis and the other Gulf Arabs have the most to fear from Iran's nuclear program and its drive to become the dominant power in the Gulf.

But precisely because they are most at risk from Iran's regional ambitions, the Saudis want a carefully considered American approach to Iran, one that balances firmness and diplomatic engagement.

The Saudi paper called Clinton's nuclear threat "the foreign politics of the madhouse," saying, "it demonstrates the same doltish ignorance that has distinguished Bush's foreign relations."

The Saudis are not always sound advisers on American foreign policy. But they understand that Rambo rhetoric like Clinton's only plays into the hands of Iranian hard-liners who want to plow ahead with efforts to attain a nuclear weapons capability. They argue that Iran must have that capability in order to deter the United States from doing what Clinton threatened to do.

While Clinton has hammered Obama for supporting military strikes in Pakistan, her comments on Iran are much more far-reaching. She seems not to realize that she undermined Iranian reformists and pragmatists. The Iranian people have been more favorable to America than any other in the Gulf region or the Middle East.

A presidential candidate who lightly commits to obliterating Iran - and, presumably, all the children, parents, and grandparents in Iran - should not be answering the White House phone at any time of day or night.
© Copyright 2008 Globe Newspaper Company.