Saturday, April 18, 2009

Fantasy Basketball 08-09

Winner - Briggs

Briggs, who, by his own admission doesn't talk enuff smack, takes the title for the second year in a row after years of runner-upping and a kiss your sister tie.  It was "only" a 20 point win this time around - chink in the armor?  He's already predicting a three peat, which I believe would be unprecedented.

Tie for 2nd - Fungster

Long the "guy in the middle", the guy whose teams would be in the top second half of the standings (table if you're English), Fungster's team finally put it together and made it into the money for the first time ever.  The team had a Briggs described "Fungsurgency" with a few days to go into second place, then nearly fell out of second with horrific end of season play.  Nevertheless, Fung is pleased.

5th place  - Smiff

Smiff continues to prove he's a Roto god by improving on his position and point total in a sport that he knows nuthin about.  He will be a little disappointed that he wasn't able to hold on to 2nd place, a position he held for most of the last month or so, until the "Fungsurgency" occurred.  He retains bragging rights over Sarge, although at this point one wonders what that is worth these days.

Tie for 7th place - Corms

A team wracked by injuries, Corms' team got in by far the fewest amount of games in the league. Nevertheless, there's quality there, as he managed a respectable middle of the table finish.  It shows that last years 3rd place was no fluke.

11th (and final) place - Sarge

Oi.  Or is it Oy? It's been a steady decline for Sarge since the glory days of Parcers 2004.  The Center position seemed to give Sarge fits, and a lot of games were missed there.  Just like in baseball, he's stacking up the young'uns, and hopes to make a run soon.  Will he continue to hold on to Matrix?

Not mentioned:  K-Mad (too sexy for Fantasy Basketball), Corporal (if it doesn't involve da Bears, he doesn't want to know), Ranger (he's the best at what he does, he has no time for anything else).

Friday, April 17, 2009

Much better

After drawing my ire for favoring football over hoops and the Bears to the Colts, Miss America has apologized from downtown (Indianapolis):

Miss America, Katie Stam showed off her Hoosier roots prior to the Pacers game last night. While players were going through individual workouts an hour and a half before the tip, Ms. Stam and her sparkling smile showed up courtside in a custom Pacers jersey.

After chatting up assistant coach, Jay DeFruscio, Miss America stepped on the court as if she wanted to try a shot. Bold, I thought.

Then she stepped behind the arc. Yes, Miss America lined up to shoot a regulation NBA three pointer. This has to end badly, right? The woman is tiny, plus the basketball looked more like a medicine ball in contrast to her body.

The first attempt was woefully short, but Miss America's elbow was tucked nicely, wrist cocked with appropriate wrinkles and the follow through was pure. Not bad.

Her second attempt was far better and while it was still a few feet short, this suddenly didn't seem so ridiculous.

After calling for one more shot, Miss America put it all together. The legs, the form, the follow through all in perfect rhythm. The ball floated through the air with a nice, subtle backspin before splashing through the net.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

something truly 'shocking'

News headline: Blagojevich pleads 'not guilty'

Mushroom of the Year

Strange the things you'll find on the interwebs - Wikipedia. I can't see writing about mushrooms on any more than a yearly basis, so I tried to title the post appropriately.

Phallus indusiatus.

Sounds like a Harry Potter incantation. Might as well be. This mushroom has apparently produced spontaneous orgasms in women. Men apparently find the smell unpleasant. Anyone know where these are sold?

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Roster-Depleted Bears Sign Tire Swing For Cutler To Throw To

CHICAGO—Anticipating that new Bears quarterback Jay Cutler will need more targets than converted cornerback Devin Hester and undersized journeyman Rashied Davis—the only receivers on their squad who have ever caught an NFL pass—the Chicago Bears signed a tire swing to their roster Tuesday. "We are expecting great things from this tire swing once the tire and Cutler get some practice time and develop some chemistry," receivers coach Darryl Drake said of the six-year-old Goodyear all-season radial suspended from a tree branch by a 7-foot length of rope. "This could easily be the best quarterback-receiver duo in recent Bears history." Analysts say that, while the move is somewhat unorthodox, Chicago was prudent in passing on veteran free agents Amani Toomer and Joe Jurevicius in favor of offering the tire swing a 3-year, $2.4 million contract.