Saturday, February 9, 2008

"And we're all watching golf!"

Drunk threatened city with TV remote
Thu Feb 7, 2008 9:27am EST

CANBERRA (Reuters) - A drunken man's threat to blow up half a city with his television remote control forced Australian police to declare a state of emergency at a luxury golf resort, a local court heard Thursday.

Geoffrey Martin Fryatt, 57, a resident of the Fairways Golf and Lifestyle Retreat in Brisbane, was arrested by elite paramilitary police after terrifying neighbors with a knife and threatening to detonate a store of chemicals with the TV remote.

"One push of the button will blow up half of Brisbane," Fryatt shouted in the standoff last May before police in the Queensland state capital opened fire with rubber bullets.

Fryatt's lawyer told the Brisbane District Court that his client lost control after losing much of his life savings in a fraud carried out by his finance broker, local media said.

"People are genuinely scared of sudden explosions," the judge said, sentencing Fryatt to a year's probation. "Frightening members of the public with threats of bombs and bomb hoaxes has a much greater impact than it once did," she said.

Fryatt accepted probation, but said he was concerned it could interrupt plans to travel overseas to do humanitarian aid work, the Brisbane Times newspaper reported.

"Let's get you right before we send you off to a third world country," the judge said.

why has sKILLy forsaken us?

Wind-driven 50-degree plunge includes snow punch

My question is, will the living envy the dead (hint: yes)? Datz what I'd like ta know.

Friday, February 8, 2008

Stewart nails it

Great stuff...

Jon Stewart’s Farewell to Mitt Romney: “F*c# Y%u!”

Libratorrs to the rescue?

U. of I. rare book library in Urbana attacked by mold

I've got it!

I've decided what I'm going to do with George's wonderful gift to me (that I have to give back). The perfect way to spend the money.

I'm gonna buy lottery tickets.

600 of them.

It's a no brainer. It should raise my odds from 1 in 150,000,000 to like, 600 in 150,000,000 right?

I'll just wait till it's like 200 million dollars, and then pounce.

Oh, if it works I might (might) "might" might even consider a spades house 4 Sarge. I'm not promising anything though, so this cannot be construed as such. Just that I may consider it.

Well, now that I figured that out I can get on with the rest of my life...

dere is annudder doomsday direkkly behind dis one

Doomsday plan would close 2 Cook hospitals
All 12 of county's neighborhood clinics also would be shut

(Crain’s) — Cook County would close two of its three hospitals and a center that treats one-third of the area’s HIV patients under a doomsday budget scenario officials put forth Friday.

Recall all dese phokkers

Paulson: Checks to go out in May

The checks are an advance on next year's refunds, and most, if not all of the money, will be deducted from taxpayers' refunds in 12 months' time.

So, once again, our government has tried to fool us. "Here's a chunk of money" they said. "Oh, and we'll be back for it next year." So how does this help? What happens if we're still in a recession next year and people don't have the money to pay the government back?

Can we just recall da whole bunch? Oh yeah, that's right. A bunch of them are running for re-election, aren't they?

Thursday, February 7, 2008

FOX News labels John McCain a Democrat

Anudder one of dese tings?

Yes, apparently:
2008 Presidential Candidate Selector

Your Results:
1. Theoretical Ideal Candidate (SMIFF!) (100%)
2. Dennis Kucinich (withdrawn) (88%) Information link
3. Barack Obama (85%) Information link
4. Alan Augustson (campaign suspended) (80%) Information link
5. Christopher Dodd (withdrawn) (78%) Information link
6. Joseph Biden (withdrawn) (77%) Information link
7. Hillary Clinton (75%) Information link
8. John Edwards (withdrawn) (72%) Information link
9. Wesley Clark (not running, endorsed Clinton) (71%) Information link
10. Michael Bloomberg (says he will not run) (71%) Information link
11. Al Gore (not announced) (68%) Information link
12. Mike Gravel (66%) Information link
13. Bill Richardson (withdrawn) (59%) Information link
14. Ron Paul (50%) Information link
15. Kent McManigal (campaign suspended) (44%) Information link
16. Elaine Brown (42%) Information link
17. Wayne Allyn Root (32%) Information link
18. Rudolph Giuliani (withdrawn, endorsed McCain) (31%) Information link
19. John McCain (30%) Information link
20. Mike Huckabee (28%) Information link
21. Tommy Thompson (withdrawn, endorsed Giuliani) (27%) Information link
22. Alan Keyes (22%) Information link
23. Mitt Romney (withdrawn) (21%) Information link
24. Chuck Hagel (not running) (18%) Information link
25. Sam Brownback (withdrawn, endorsed McCain) (16%) Information link
26. Newt Gingrich (says he will not run) (15%) Information link
27. Tom Tancredo (withdrawn, endorsed Romney) (14%) Information link
28. Fred Thompson (withdrawn) (12%) Information link
29. Duncan Hunter (withdrawn) (9%) Information link
30. Jim Gilmore (withdrawn) (8%) Information link
31. Stephen Colbert (campaign halted) (2%) Information link

Wow, Alan Keyes slightly better than Willard Mitt Romney.... and no Ralph Nader (thank God).

Hate Flying?

Tell dese guys...

We have become them

CIA: Waterboarding needed, possibly illegal

It might be illegal, but we're gonna do it anyway. Also, we're not going to investigate ourselves because that would be way too inconvenient. We will continue to torture, bomb and maim until people accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior I mean accept democracy, human rights and transparency as the foundation of good governance.

Sorry Mitt, the terrists have already won.

Smiff rips Schilling on his blog (cont'd)

Your comment is awaiting moderation.

Just wondering if Curt and the other McCain supporters (like ajd24) here will be volunteering for the military to fight the other wars McCain is promising, along with a 100 year commitment to staying in Iraq. Bush has decimated our military (where will McCain be getting all of the troops he will need for Iran and so forth?), so can we count on you to join up?

And Obama has said he will be committed to finding bin Laden (remember him?), you know, the head terrorist guy…


Romney: Quitter

The one ad he kept running out here was about how different he is from Hillary Clinton (maybe that's why she did so well here?). Willard seemed to be running his campaign in reverse - it was if he had already won the Republican nomination and was running against Hillary, who had won the Democratic nomination. I know that for many conservatives, just saying "Hillary Clinton" causes them to grow horns and a third eyeball, but MITT YOU WEREN'T RUNNING AGAINST HER. How about running some ads about McCain being a flip-flopper instead of a "straight talker". Or that fact that he said he doesn't know anything about the economy. Or the fact that he cozies upto and makes deals with pinko commies like Feingold and Ed Kennedy. Nope, he stuck with how "Hillary-care" was going to send everyone to the grave. What a maroon. And this guy made millions as a bidnessman? It must not be very hard then.

Oh, and this is priceless...

Romney at today's CPAC Wingnut Conference: ”If I fight on in my campaign, all the way to the convention, I would forestall the launch of a national campaign and make it more likely that Senator Clinton or Obama would win. And in this time of war, I simply cannot let my campaign, be a part of aiding a surrender to terror.”

Shocking! (cont)


5 pedestrians get electric shocks on Chicago's Near Northwest Side


Check it out - 14 inches predicted, only 4 inches realised. Dat's your weather guy for ya...

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

LoC influences the Beeb?

After the Fungster's complaint, they changed the story. It now reads:

He could be living up to his name, Simba, which means lion in Swahili - spoken across East Africa - and means strength in Shona, one of Zimbabwe's main indigenous languages.

Course, this does not satisfy the Fungster. He's still going with Swahili shouldn't have been mentioned, and at the very least least the Shona translation should have been first. So one must keep fighting...

Whitey keeping darky down (cont)

Our Govt has been saying, for years now, that drugs are bad. Drugs kill. Stay away from drugs. Except, of course, the drugs we approve of...

Heath Ledger autopsy points to accidental pill overdose
Rapper died of cough syrup overdose

And before that, it was America's favorite bimbo, before that it was her son, and the list goes on and on. So, if you take whitey's drugs, it's "accidental", and Big Pharma is let off the hook. If it's darky's drugs, they bomb the $#!+ out of your farm, burning everything in sight. They arrest your @$$ and throw away the key, so they have to build bigger and bigger prisons. All to protect whitey. Damn the consequences. And the darkies.

Oh, who's next, you ask?

Britney Spears' mom claims sidekick drugged her

If I were a betting man..

Skilling: Up to 14 inch accumulations a good bet

...I wouldn't trust dis guy.

Revisionist Forecast

WEATHER ALERT: Storm delayed, but even more snow expected

here's a shocker (prepare to be shocked) this is shocking (i'm totally shocked) are you sitting down?

It's not snowing. It wasn't snowing an hour ago. It wasn't snowing three hours ago.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Now dis is a winter, my friends

My friends, we already have the 5th snowiest winter on record, and now tonight we're supposed to have the biggest storm of the season. Dat's what you call winter. These crappy ass "cold only" winters we've been getting have been rather depressing. This one's had everything. Snow. Followed by cold. Followed by snow. Followed by 50 degrees and a meltdown. Followed by snow. Repeat. Ah yes. Smiff, you left a couple of seasons too early.

let's see how far off these are...

A bunch of us here haven't voted for Obama yet, so take dese Kaleefohrneyuh numbers and trow dem out da window. Also good to see he got 2 of 3 democratic voters in Utah.

The initial Super Tuesday exit poll...

CT: Clinton - 45, Obama - 52.2
IL: Clinton - 29.1, Obama - 69.6
AL: Clinton - 37, Obama - 59.6
DE: Clinton - 41.9, Obama - 55.6
MA: Clinton - 47.3, Obama - 49.8
MO: Clinton - 45.1, Obama - 49.8
TN: Clinton - 51.6, Obama - 41.1
NY: Clinton - 55.6, Obama - 42.2
NJ: Clinton - 47, Obama - 52.2
AR: Clinton - 71.2, Obama - 25.5
OK: Clinton - 60.5, Obama - 30.4
AZ: Clinton - 44.8, Obama - 50.5

Second Wave Numbers
Alabama: Obama 60, Clinton 37
Arizona: Obama 51, Clinton 45
Arkansas: Clinton 72, Obama 26
Connecticut: Obama 53, Clinton 45
Delaware: Obama 56, Clinton 42
Georgia: Obama 75, Clinton 26
Illinois: Obama 70, Clinton 30
Massachusetts: Obama 50, Clinton 48
Missouri: Obama 50, Clinton 46
New Jersey: Obama 53, Clinton 47
New York: Clinton 56, Obama 43
Oklahoma: Clinton 61, Obama 31
Tennessee: Clinton 52, Obama 41.1

First Wave Numbers
California: Clinton 50, Obama 47
New Mexico: Obama 52, Clinton 47
Utah: Obama 61, Clinton 40

It may not be Rezko...

...but Fung has been spotted with Dumbya. Click on da link:

A Republican HUD scandal for a new generation

I would say it might be Kirby Pucket instead, but he's dead.

shocking that this happened in Texas

SAN ANTONIO -- All the talk about Super Tuesday apparently caused confusion for many voters in Bexar County.

More than 1,000 calls poured into the Bexar County Elections Department on Monday from voters wanting to know where they could vote in Tuesday's primary.

Problem is -- Texas isn't holding a primary on Tuesday, like more than 20 states are.

Super Duper Tuesday

News item: Wall Street's worst day in 3 months
News item: Recession is here - economists
WEATHER ALERT: Major snowstorm here; up to 14 inches forecast
News item: Checking a 2nd bag on United? Be ready to pay

Oh yeah. This day rocks. To be concluded by the news that it will be McCain vs Hilldog in November. Extending our long national nightmare by four more years.

maybe if we hadn't lost interest right when we had da tarrists surrounded and decided to go bomb da s#i+ outta somebody else... oh never mind

News item: The number of civilians inadvertently killed by U.S. and NATO forces in Afghanistan doubled in 2007 from the previous year as coalition forces dropped about a million pounds of bombs on the country, military analysts said.

Does K-Mad have his COL Podzzzie t-shirt yet?

Rockies invited OF Scott Podsednik, INF Christian Colonel, 2B Marcus Giles, INF Matt Kata, SS Chris Nelson, OF Sean Barker, OF Dexter Fowler, OF Joe Gaetti, C Mike Rose, C Michael McKenry and C Neil Wilson to spring training. There are still a lot of GMs out there that love speed, but Podsednik couldn't do any better than a minor league deal to perhaps act as a fifth outfielder. The Rockies would probably be better off carrying Ryan Spilborghzz and Cory Sullivan.

perpetrators of most elaborate hoax ever perpetrated going to elaborate lengths to perpetrate hoax (cont'd)

Global meltdown: scientists isolate areas most at risk of climate change

· Experts assess point at which it is too late to act
· Disastrous repercussions of warming are spelled out
· Graphic: world tipping points
· Holy phokking s#i+ we're gonna die
· Science an' s#i+
· And the kicker is, we're all dead

You Don't Know Dick (cont'd)

For 2005, George W. and Laura Bush reported income of $738,880, paying $187,854 in taxes--about $26,000 less than they would have paid before the tax cuts he initiated. That same year, Dick and Lynne Cheney reported income of $9,120,960, paying taxes of $517,287, saving about $1,100,000 because of the tax cuts. Part of the savings was from charitable contributions he made that, due to a law designed to benefit Katrina victims, qualified for deduction from his income. None of contribitions went to hurricane victimes.

this could be his day!

A reminder -- Alan Keyes is sort of running.

"Click to hear Terri laughing" -- is she laughing at his campaign?

sure it's dumb economically...

but at least there will be fewer forners around. And how many of those Circus Chimera clowns are actually tarrists? Probally all of them...

Visa rule spells out 'help wanted' for some businesses

Sounds like the crabs around Hampton, Va. will finally be left alone too.

Oh, Whitey (cont)

Simba the lion
Can this chemist find the right formula to beat Mugabe?

Well, first of all, probably not, but it's OK to ask the question, so we know whether to bother following developments or not. What got me riled up was the following:

"He could be living up to his name, Simba, which means lion in Swahili."

And how many people speak Swahili in Zimbabwe? Er, somewhere close to ZERO. I'm guessing he was given a Shona name, and not a Swahili one (I have been wrong before). In any case, he lives in Zimbabwe so the Shona translation would probably be more apt, instead of the one African language everyone knows, and just happens to have the same word, as luck would have it.

What is the Shona translation, you ask? Strength. It would have worked just fine in the article.

Darned Frenchies

Living in the past, dabbling with centuries old technology - did anyone tell them it's the 3rd millennium now?

French super-fast train unveiled

Smiff Early Warning System

Vitale returning to TV on Wednesday

when Woof Blitzer says Hillary won New York and New Jersey, you'll know what really happened

Six states at "high" risk for voting machine mishaps on Super Tuesday

"Mishaps" ... yes ...

Is dis a warning not 2 vote 4 da black guy?

Major snow storm expected tonight
Up to a foot of snow is expected from a storm predicted to hit tonight.

Monday, February 4, 2008

Is everyone everywhere brain-dead?

If Churchill came back today he would never stop throwing up...

Gandhi 'is myth', Churchill 'made up'
4 Feb 2008, 1830 hrs IST,PTI

LONDON: Mahatma Gandhi never existed while Britain's wartime Prime Minister Sir Winston Churchill was a fictional character. Don't fret. This is only what most Britons think about the great leaders.

According to a survey carried out in Britain, many believe that Mahatma Gandhi and Churchill are just mythical figures like Florence Nightingale, popularly known as the 'Lady with the Lamp'.

In fact, almost a quarter of the population have the popular notion that Churchill, "the greatest Briton of all time", was made up.

Moreover, despite his celebrated military reputation, 47 per cent of respondents feel the 12th-century English King Richard the Lionheart is fictional, according to the survey of 3,000 British teens.

In contrast, a number of fictitious characters like Sherlock Holmes, King Arthur and Eleanor Rigby were given real life status.

While almost 65 per cent of respondents believe that mythical figure King Arthur existed and led a round table of knights at Camelot, 58 per cent of teens think that Holmes really lived at 221B Baker Street.

Fifty-one per cent of respondents believed that Robin Hood lived in Sherwood Forest, robbing the rich to give to the poor, while 47 per cent believed Eleanor Rigby was a real person rather than a creation of The Beatles.

The poll also revealed that nearly three quarters of those surveyed did not read history books while and 61 per cent admitted that they changed channels rather than watching historical programmes on television.

"While there's no excuse for demoting real historical figures such as Churchill, the elevation of mythical figures to real life showed the impact good films could have in shaping the public consciousness.

"Stories like Robin Hood are so inspiring that it's not surprising people like to believe these characters truly existed," the British media quoted Paul Moreton, the Head of UKTV Gold channel, which commissioned the poll, as saying.

the subtle difference between the news business and the blog business

News Headline: McCain, Romney battle over who is more conservative

*dis one

finally, some good news

Bobby Knight resigns

eternal vigilance, Bush style

News item: unnamed CIA briefer flew to Bush's Texas ranch to call the president's attention personally to the now-famous Aug. 6, 2001, memo titled "Bin Laden Determined to Strike in U.S." According to Suskind, Bush heard the briefer out and replied: "All right. You've covered your ass, now."

I sure hope not

Otherwise I'm gonna have to start liking macs. Don't fence me in!

Link by Link: Is Obama a Mac and Clinton a PC?

Though I will say Obama's website is better than Hillary's IMHO, I don't like that the first thing I see when I visit a site is a request for my email address. I'll give it to you when I'm good & ready.

here's a shocker

McCain Donated To Schilling Charity After Endorsement

"If John McCain personally believed in Curt Schilling's charity it is one thing. It is another to ask people to give money to his candidacy and have it go to Curt Schilling's charity. The only way that makes sense is that he is paying for the endorsement, although they are apparently long time friends."

This looks about right...

Notice the absence of Africa...

Break out the stilettos, boys

High heels 'may improve sex life'

don't forget "unhinged"

"The thought of his being president sends a cold chill down my spine... He is erratic. He is hotheaded. He loses his temper and he worries me."

Sen. Thad Cochran, R-MS

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Things That Suck (Special Ed.)

The New England Patriots.


I told you they would lose - just like I've been tellin' ya all year. And it all started with that game they should have lost against the Eagles and A.J. Feeley.

Tom Brady (pretty boy): can't win the big one. But hey, he was a 2nd stringer at Michigan.

Belichick: Loser. I guess the NFL wouldn't allow him to get a camera in the Giants huddle. Also, really classy leaving the field with 2 seconds to play.

Add NFL dynasties to the list of things that aren't what they used to be...

$6.8 Million Vanity Plate

The Rich have so much money now that they dare us to reach a point in our disgust of them that we start re-reading Marx...

The best comment from the story I just hypertexted at Digg from "Fixty":

Not even walking around everywhere with a bluetooth earpiece says douchbag as loudly as having a vanity plate. So to the soon-to-be proud owner of vanity plate numero uno all I can say is "yes, indeed you are number one... douche".