Saturday, October 4, 2008

A Can't Miss Opportunity!!

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Looking back, not looking forward

The Wall Street Journal SHOCKINGLY tries to pin some blame for the banking crisis on the government:

Dozens of interviews, most from people who requested anonymity to avoid legal repercussions, offer an inside account of the critical juncture when Fannie Mae’s new chief executive, under pressure from Wall Street firms, Congress and company shareholders, took additional risks that pushed his company, and, in turn, a large part of the nation’s financial health, to the brink. ...

Capitol Hill bore down on [former Fannie Mae chief executive Daniel] Mudd as well. The same year he took the top position, regulators sharply increased Fannie’s affordable-housing goals. Democratic lawmakers demanded that the company buy more loans that had been made to low-income and minority homebuyers.

“When homes are doubling in price in every six years and incomes are increasing by a mere one percent per year, Fannie’s mission is of paramount importance,” Senator Jack Reed, a Rhode Island Democrat, lectured Mr. Mudd at a Congressional hearing in 2006. “In fact, Fannie and Freddie can do more, a lot more.”

Then again, what would you expect from...oh. That article actually ran in the New York Times. My bad.

Friday, October 3, 2008

hope for those who opposed a bailout bill

Bush could still stab himself in the eye trying to sign it.

Death and not being a Phocking Moron.

Here's my thing with taxes. If you want to pay lower taxes, you always have the option of making less money. If you want to make more money you have to pay higher taxes. If you want to make lots of money and pay low taxes (or no taxes) then you are a douchenozzle.

Got into a fight with another lawyer the other day who assured me that my taxes would go up with Obama. I told him I had crunched the numbers already and that he was right, my family stands to pay something between $100 and $2,500 in extra taxes per year with Obama. And we would get something like a $5,000 tax cut with McCain [Ed.: in return for our son' being drafted to die in Iran [Ed. Ed.: or live out a comfortable life with his parents in Canada]]. I told him we didn't really care about paying more if the money was put to good use, to which he called me an idiot. He suggested that I didn't care about making money and I generally agreed with him. In my best jobs, I served as a volunteer. But then I really sent him for a loop and told him we were making lots of money and are doing okay and that as long as I know my taxes ahead of time, I can adjust accordingly. Again names - of course this time he was a little reluctant - because his worldview was that people who make more were superior and I could see he was a little concerned about whether I made more than him. I told him I really only care about my net income not my gross, and he didn't know what to do with himself.

Then I got to thinking about this. I mean seriously - If I offered to give you $100, taking a $95 percent processing fee - would you turn it down? If your boss offered to pay you $1 million a year gross, and your net after taxes would rise by only $10,000 - would you turn it down? How? Now - I support Republicans and fiscal conservatives in their effort to end graft, fraud, etc. but all this crap about govt. standing in you way - ugh. How the hell is government standing in your way if you are making like $19,000 a year. That was how much I made in my first job out of college. I wasn't worried about the govt. hurting me - but I was kind of pissed at my boss.

I kind of liked Biden's answer about taxes and fairness but he can only get out half the story. I liked Sarge's take on it - if I am remembering correctly. The self made man is dead. When you make your money using government education, roads, water, power, policing, fire protection, the government is entitled to its cut. The more you make, the more you have to thank the government for not allowing your bank accounts to be electronically drained, for not allowing your mansion to go up in flames, for having police watch the roads your limo drives on and for firing/beating all the union members who threatened to put you out of business. (too far?). There is no way you would have made the money without the system you are operating within. Try making some money in a country without a government. Now there's a self made man. This is why I support a 0% tax rate on all entrepreneurs in Somalia.

Um. Okay

I like how Chris Matthews immediately pointed out that our potential new VP isn't going to answer the questions you want her to and wants to explore expanding the power of the Vice Presidency. Power hungry and anti-democratic. That's how I like my politicians.

Just for fun, I went and looked through Article II of the Constitution. I think this section makes it pretty clear that despite the acknowledgement that the VP is the president of the Senate in Article I that the VP is part of the executive branch.

U.S. Constitution. Article II, Section 4. The President, Vice President and all civil officers of the United States, shall be removed from office on impeachment for, and conviction of, treason, bribery, or other high crimes and misdemeanors. [Ed.: This includes lying about blow-jobs].

No such provision appears to exists for members of congress. I suppose I get extra credit for that.

And I can't get "Joe 6-pack" out of my head. I am so not Joe 6-pack, not even Joe Box 'O Wine. My guess is if I met Joe 6-pack he and I would think eachother assholes. Oh well.

even Charles Krauthammer is wid da tarrists

Charles Krauthammer on Barack Obama:

"...he's got both a first-class intellect and a first-class temperament. That will likely be enough to make him president."

we can haz AIM too?

(12:11:08 AM) briggs: matthews is doing a good job
(12:12:49 AM) fungster: 5 mavericks vs 4 scrantons
(12:16:04 AM) briggs: that was funny
(12:35:01 AM) fungster: who won the debate? let's ask each camp...for the talking points
(12:37:57 AM) briggs: yeah
(12:38:25 AM) fungster: energy independence?
(12:38:46 AM) briggs: how come every republican woman who comes on to talk impresses me more than sarah palin?
(12:39:43 AM) fungster: they've probably been at it longer
(12:39:54 AM) briggs: ready on day one
(12:42:14 AM) fungster: doggonit!
(12:43:00 AM) briggs: i imagine her, when he said "past is prologue", thinking "past is what? wait, i don't care, i'm mavericky." and that thought process happened in about 0.00001 seconds
(12:44:23 AM) fungster: the brain is quite fast you know
(12:44:48 AM) briggs: especially when everything is a nail
(12:46:08 AM) briggs: nothin' worse than a killed job
(12:46:27 AM) fungster: it looked like she was shaking her head when talking about her team, and nodding when talking about the other team
(12:46:34 AM) briggs: cubs are a homer, three walks and a homer away from being tied
(12:46:36 AM) fungster: either she's bulgarian or...
(12:46:39 AM) briggs: or a strike from losing

The Peter Principle, baseball style...

Brian Cashman and Omar Minaya get new contracts...

~, uh, ackkkkkkk...

...what else can be said that hasn't been said for the last one hundred years?

Thursday, October 2, 2008


Scandal: McCain Won Miss Congeniality Of U.S. Senate In 2000, 2003

As Twittered by Smiff on da Twitter: How McCain supports the troops (Cheney-style)

"I know the veterans, I know them well, and I know that they know that I'll take care of them, and I have been proud of their support and their recognition of my service to the veterans, and I love them, and I'll take care of them, and they know that I'll take care of them."

Pirates: Don't call it a comeback

Report: Somali pirates rake in up to $30M in 2008

if we had listened a little more carefully, we might have gotten a very early clue about how things would go...

George W. Bush's opening line at the first debate in 2000:

BUSH: Well, we do come from different places. I come from being a West Texas.

He then proceeds to talk about what he'll do with the "surplus."

BUSH: Let me just say that obviously tonight we're going to hear some phony numbers about what I think and what we ought to do. People need to know that over the next ten years it is going to be $25 trillion of revenue that comes into our treasurey and we anticipate spending $21 trillion. And my plan say why don't we pass 1.3 trillion of that back to the people who pay the bills? Surely we can afford 5% of the $25 trillion that are coming into the treasury to the hard working people that pay the bills. There is a difference of opinion. My opponent thinks the government -- the surplus is the government's money. That's not what I think. I think it's the hard-working people of America's money and I want to share some of that money with you so you have more money to build and save and dream for your families. It's a difference of opinion. It's a difference between government making decisions for you and you getting more of your money to make decisions for yourself.

I don't know about you, but that extra four treeeellllion dollars is burning a hole in my pocket. Why don't we throw a yooge phokking party for this phokking weasel to thank him for the bang-up job he did...

Don't Mess With The K-Mad

According to the Los Angeles Times, Hong-Chih Kuo "underwent a heart examination in an effort to determine why his fingers became numb and turned bright red while warming up Saturday." Kuo tested negative for blood clots earlier this week and the Dodgers continue to search for answers while he sits out the NLDS.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Mom not pleased wiff Uncle Cholly

Why does the stupid manager take Hamels out for the bullpen when he is
pitching a near perfect game?
Lidge did his best to lose it. How many has the bullpen lost for him
this year?
They still have 10 more games to win!

OH NOES: tough one tonight

The Dodgers homered three times to send the Cubs to a seventh straight playoff loss, 7-2 in Game 1...

Their way out?

WorldNetDaily: VP debate moderator Ifill releasing pro-Obama book

the End Times harbingers continue to roll in (cont'd)

Goose Island on Clybourn will serve "Huskie Ale" during Saturday's NIU-Tennessee game.

Happy Fiscal New Year!

It's gonna be the best fiscal year ever...

Under the plausible fiscal-policy scenarios detailed in CBO's latest "Budget and Economic Outlook," which was released earlier this month, the budget deficits for 2017 and 2018 could exceed $1 trillion each year.

Trillion-dollar deficits would be arriving just as the cash-flow surpluses from Social Security turn into cash-flow deficits, a development that would require the federal government to use general revenues to meet Social Security benefit payments.

If the projections hold true, these deficits would become the primary force that would add $10 trillion to the national debt, more than doubling it by 2018.

"Unfortunately, that's the good news," Mr. Orszag said, "because thereafter we start to experience the longer-term budget pressures that are at the heart of the long-term fiscal problems the nation faces."

Willard Scott's joke of the day

What's the difference between a pigeon and a stock broker?
A pigeon can still make a deposit on a ferrari!

Then he went on to wish McCain a happy 105th birthday and the McCain's a happy 80th wedding anniversary. Ok I made that up.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Postseason Predictions from Corms

Cubs over Dodgers in 4
Phils over Brewers in 5

Sox over Rays in 5
Sox over Angels in 5

Cubs over Phils in 7

Sox over Sox in 7

Flying swine and ice hockey in hell Cubs over Sox in 5

Finally, The End Times are here...

The White Sox joined the crosstown Cubs in the postseason, the first time since 1906 that both Chicago teams are in...The 1906 White Sox, known as “The Hitless Wonders,” beat the Cubs in the World Series.

Fung's new favorite bar?

Sarah Palin nude painting

Ebert Brings It (cont)

Guess who's not coming to dinner

To Cub Fans

A Reminder...

Though should I do dis b4 2nite's game? Wont dat curse us somehow? Nah.

some neat designs here...

Stimulate the Economy!

Buy your (probably) made in China political crap now! Find a wonderful spot for one of these on your mantlepiece, or in a box of stuff you don't know where to put, or your storage box that you've had for 18 years. Make great gifts for those who need stuff for their fireplace or unused boxes or unused storage space. But you'll have that fuzzy feeling that lets you know that you helped America stay strong. You singlehandedly kept 4 people employed. In China. You made money move. To China. Then they'll buy our companies & our debt and we can keep spending! The circle of cash!

Call now!

McJob Backlash

Even in India...

Stressed Indians leave call centres

Smiff: The Greatest...or...THE GREATEST?

Rank Team Points Pts Change Waiver Moves
1. Lord Viper Elefantes 212.5 -0.5 10 63
2. Blue Ward Cyclones 205.5 2 3 9
3. Spackler Bents 174 2 11 27
4. Golemi Topki 170.5 0 6 19
5. Troglodyte Homunculi 170 0 8 41
6. Columbus Bureaucrats 160 -1.5 5 10
7. La Jolla Chemists 157 0 4 27
8. shot_at_bill 151 -2 9 40
9. Coach #31 132.5 -0.5 12 26
10. Mr. Baby's Fortune 122.5 2.5 1 16
11. clan of terrorists 114.5 -1.5 2 23
12. Maddogs 102 -0.5 7 31

Labels dat wouldn't fit:
and Smiff has hair
when the elephants dance it is the ground that suffers
we hatesez them
...add your own!

Monday, September 29, 2008

a fitting end to da Cherriez' season

AAA Infielder is up.
Travis Hafner is pinch hitting. Hafner pops out. The game is over.
Final score: Chukar Cherries 2, Dingers 4.

T. Herman Zweibel again - suddenly he's the most relevant force on da internets

THZ: I should God damned well hope that there will also be prettily-colored pictures, or else the average American citizen will not be able to keep his eye on it for more than a few heart-beats, and it would be better yet if there were accompanying photos of ample heaving bosoms.

Tribune: Why is the newspaper redesigning?

Consumers’ reading habits have evolved, so we are reinventing the Chicago Tribune based on what readers have told us about their lifestyles, how they use the newspaper and what they want from it... Also, the former Tempo features section will be renamed, Live! It will focus on entertainment and pop culture and feature reviews, TV listings, comics and puzzles, plus weather on the back page and movie content on Fridays.

What happened to the Business section?

The Business section will no longer be freestanding, except on Sunday.

Never stopped them before...they're just being consistent:

Bush Sidesteps Congress? $630 Billion To Be Pumped Into Economy Despite House Bailout Rejection

The Federal Reserve will pump an additional $630 billion into the global financial system, flooding banks with cash to alleviate the worst banking crisis since the Great Depression.

The Fed increased its existing currency swaps with foreign central banks by $330 billion to $620 billion to make more dollars available worldwide. The Term Auction Facility, the Fed’s emergency loan program, will expand by $300 billion to $450 billion. The European Central Bank, the Bank of England and the Bank of Japan are among the participating authorities.

The Fed’s expansion of liquidity, the biggest since credit markets seized up last year, came hours before the U.S. House of Representatives rejected a $700 billion bailout for the financial industry. The crisis is reverberating through the global economy, causing stocks to plunge and forcing European governments to rescue four banks over the past two days alone.
Read on…

I’m not an expert on the economy or Wall St., but this sure looks like an end-around by the Bush administration to give away hundreds of billions of dollars without the approval of Congress.

the panic is spreading! no sector of our culture is safe!

Home Runs Drop to 15-Year Low

NEW YORK -- Home runs in the major leagues dropped this year to their lowest level since 1993, and Angels center fielder Torii Hunter thinks he might know why.

you knew this was coming

Democrats: 140 Aye, 95 No
Republicans: 65 Aye, 133 No


McCain blames Obama for bailout defeat

Of course, when it looked like it was going to pass, Grandpa was taking credit.

In a time of crisis, it's always reassuring... look into the eyes of a chicken.

Da City Dat Killz

Da Darkies, dat is.

Chicago's toxic air

Of the Top 50 polluters in Cook County in 2005, 60 percent are where black or Latino residents outnumber whites.

Whitey's Apartment Finders web page must also have a "pollution index" that darkies can't access...

Cue plutocrat on ledge: the depression starts...


Will someone from Camp BushCo get in the room with these amateurs and tell them how it's done before Grandpa goes unhinged and strangles someone?

The time to let on that your [P]rezzziduntial ticket is clueless is after they're electorated.

Memo to Joe Biden: Let Palin Talk

For those who worry about expectations being so low that she can't help but beat them, that she did well in Alaska debates (by being spunky and bluffing through with gimmicks like patting a "stack of solutions" on health care), consider this:

Capitol Hill sources are telling me that senior McCain people are more than concerned about Palin.

The campaign has held a mock debate and a mock press conference; both are being described as "disastrous." One senior McCain aide was quoted as saying, "What are we going to do?" The McCain people want to move this first debate to some later, undetermined date, possibly never. People on the inside are saying the Alaska Governor is "clueless."

I don't think anyone anticipated a Wall Street meltdown

News item: Cubs bidders face credit squeeze

Wall Street's meltdown threatens Tribune Co. CEO Sam Zell's plan to get top dollar for the Cubs — and he's prepared to delay the sale in response.

could be my last post - nice knowing everyone!

San Diego
Thunder Storms

You know what this means...

We're totally phokked:

Bush confident bailout will aid U.S. economy
President Bush leads key supporters of the Wall Street bailout package in prodding lawmakers this morning to approve the plan hours ahead of a difficult House vote.

see also: brain-dead AGs, brain-dead Bush cabinet members, man with almost no brain lives normal life, how to avoid prosecution by being brain-dead...

From today's Justice Dept. report:

[Gonzales] claimed to us and to Congress an extraordinary lack of recollection about the entire removal process. In his most remarkable claim, he testified that he did not remember the meeting in his conference room on November 27, 2006, when the plan was finalized and he approved the removals of the U.S. Attorneys, even though this important meeting occurred only a few months prior to his testimony.

This was not a minor personnel matter that should have been hard to remember. Rather, it related to an unprecedented removal of a group of high-level Presidential appointees, which Sampson and others recognized would result in significant controversy. Nonetheless, Gonzales conceded that he exercised virtually no oversight of the project, and his claim to have very little recollection of his role in the process is extraordinary and difficult to accept.

Will, Zweibel, and K-Mad: triplets separated at birth?

George Will: A word describes most of the people who will vote only if a ballot is shoved through their mail slot: "slothful." What kind of people will not bestir themselves to exercise their franchise if doing so requires them to get off their couches and visit neighborhood polling places? People who are barely interested, and hence probably are barely informed.

T. Herman Zweibel: I am told that our new War of the White House section will contain the vetted and censored life stories of each candidate; white-washed and simplified versions of their heinous plans to drain the life and wealth of each and every tax-payer; a schedule denoting the appearances of every aspirant, so that one may go and be covered in unspeakable fulminating lies in person instead of hearing them over the crystal-set. I should God damned well hope that there will also be prettily-colored pictures, or else the average American citizen will not be able to keep his eye on it for more than a few heart-beats, and it would be better yet if there were accompanying photos of ample heaving bosoms.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Guess what? The New York Mets SUCK.

Here's a Website For Ya!

What would Jesus do?

Another black mark on McCain: he's white

Real Time with Bill Maher: New Rules - Look Beyond The Candidates’ Skin Color

On Real Time with Bill Maher’s New Rules segment, host Bill Maher exhorts viewers not to assume the worst about John McCain just because of the color of his skin.

All right, new rule: you cannot attain foreign policy experience by rubbing Henry Kissinger. He is a former Secretary of State, not Buddha.

New rule: next time we get in an enormous financial crisis, the guy we’re depending on to get us out of it can’t look like Col. Klink. Not asking for the world.

New rule: If men could admit they watch NASCAR for the crashes, women can admit they watch fashion shows to see skinny chicks fall on their ass. Ooh, that one was touchy.

New rule: food from China that isn’t Chinese food isn’t food. The latest example, tainted Chinese milk. Health experts say fake milk can cause bloating, gas, cramps, vomiting, fatigue, rashes and asthma. Oh wait, that’s real milk. People still not on the fact that milk is poison.

Okay, new rule: you can’t call it coming out of the closet when the door was wide open, the closet was made of glass and everyone can see you in there having gay sex. Clay Aiken says he came out because he didn’t want to lie to his infant son. Dude, even the baby knew you were gay. I can’t wait to see next week’s issue of People Magazine.

And finally, new rule: a candidate for President should not be judged by the color of his skin. And to…and to anyone who thinks differently, I say please do not reject John McCain just because he’s white. I think the recent news from Wall Street has made us all less tolerant and only reinforce the stereotype that white people are shiftless, thieving welfare queens.

Now, take a look at these pictures. Here are the CEOs of Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, AIG and the Lehman Brothers. I know the first thing that jumps out about these faces is that they all happen to be white, and they all happen to be responsible for stealing. But what you have to understand is that these whites are a product of a society that made them that way. It was the neighborhoods and the schools they went to: Harvard, Yale, the Wharton School of Business. They never learned the value of doing real, actual work and the first step to fixing that is better role models, so kids growing up white today don’t think the only way out of Westchester is corporate crime. Or a government handout or sailing. So I get it, the temptation is to look at McCain and vote against him because you don’t see an individual, you just see another typical welfare whitey.

And it’s true, he’s spent his entire life shuffling from one low-paying government job to another. Well, except those years he spent in prison. Typical! And between you and me, he’s not very articulate. Oh, he may have some street smarts, but he’s not what you call an educated man. He freely admits he’s ignorant about the economy. And apparently the only thing his white running mate knows how to do is crank out one baby after another. And now of course, her teenage daughter is pregnant out of wedlock. Because she learns it at home! But that doesn’t mean we should assume all white people are like that, just because so many of them are. I believe there is hope. I believe even the stupidest, greediest, laziest whites can break the cycle of dependence like this November when we finally move George Bush out of public housing.

a preview of the Trib's forthcoming endorsement of McBush

I almost cannot believe it is time for the suet-brained populace of this flagging Republic to be once again herded into the voting-booths to allegedly choose precisely which bloody-handed butcher will crack their bones and suck the marrow over the next few years.