Saturday, August 25, 2007

Celebrate good times come on!

Americans celebrate a national symbol as the Big Mac turns 40
By Rachel Shields
Published: 25 August 2007

It's up there with the dollar bill and the Statue of Liberty as one of the great symbols of American culture, so it seems only fitting that the Big Mac's 40th birthday be marked in style this week, with the opening of its own museum.

Fans of the world-famous burger can now immerse themselves in its history and play Big Mac games at the museum in Pennsylvania, which calls itself "the most tasteful in the world".
The triple-decker sandwich - with its two beef patties, sauce, lettuce, a sesame seed bun, and a distinctive middle layer of bread - was an instant success when it was invented by a McDonald's franchise owner, Jim Delligatti, in 1967.

Quickly becoming the most requested dish on the menu at Mr Delligatti's three restaurants, in less than a year the Big Mac was sold in McDonald's branches all over the US.
Miraculously, the current obesity crisis has done little to dent the popularity of Mr Delligatti's creation, despite becoming the focus of much bad press. The most notable of this was Morgan Spurlock's 2003 documentary Super-Size Me, in which the film-maker existed on nothing but McDonald's meals for 30 days in order to illustrate the damaging effects of fast-food. In recent years the company has attempted to shake off its unhealthy image, introducing low-fat, nutritious options such as salads and fruit alongside the burgers, chips and high-fat drinks for which it is famed. Although these adjustments may have helped the public perception of the company, the chain's healthier options are unlikely to ever rival the popularity of the gut-busting Big Mac, which contains a whopping 540 calories and 29g of fat.

And now at the age of 89, Mr Delligatti is behind the opening of the new museum, which pays tribute to both burger and chef with a 14ft-high Big Mac and a life-size bronze bust of its creator.

Originally on sale for only 45 cents, the Big Mac still retails at only $2.75 (£1.90), its low price encouraging sales of more than 550 million per year in the US alone. The all-American snack is now available in more than 100 countries, with the famously health-conscious Japanese consuming nearly 150 million annually.

This humble sandwich spawned numerous imitators from rival restaurants, and is widely credited with sparking both a global fast-food craze and fondness for jumbo portions.
Indeed, the burger's global presence is such that in 1986 the respected weekly news magazine The Economist introduced the Big Mac Index as a way of comparing the value of foreign currency against the US dollar. The Economist explained that it hoped to "make the exchange-rate theory that bit more digestible", and continues to use the system today.
While the health risks associated with such foods may be well-documented, the Big Mac has become such a pop-culture phenomenon that it has a place in the hearts (and probably the arteries) of most Americans.

A Texan architect, Matt Fajkus, explains: "It's a little bit embarrassing that this is the sort of thing that America is known for, but it is a part of our culture and as such should be celebrated. I grew up with Big Macs, as did almost everyone I know. I'm also glad that after all their efforts at rebranding and launching salad and yoghurt lines, McDonald's is finally proud to admit what they are famous for."

Clearly it was this fondness and sense of national pride that prompted hundreds of Americans to queue around the block for this week's opening of the museum. And the must-have item in the gift shop? A Big Mac Christmas bauble.

Five Mac facts
* With each Big Mac containing 29g of fat, Americans eat an astonishing 17,582 tons of fat from Big Macs each year. That's roughly the weight of more than 40 fully loaded Boeing 747 passenger jets.
* There are about 178 sesame seeds on a Big Mac bun.
* In India, the Maharaja Mac is made with chicken, while in Greece the Greek Mac uses the pitta bread and yoghurt from a traditional "souvlaki" sandwich.
* The Big Mac is not the biggest burger McDonald's sell. The truly ravenous can order a Mega Mac, made with four patties and an extra slice of cheese - but not in England, where it has been deemed too unhealthy.
* Of all the McDonald's burgers, the Big Mac is the hardest to prepare but it's a skill that former employees Sharon Stone, Shania Twain and Pink mastered.

Can we do anything right?

Taliban Push Poppy Production to a Record Again

We spent $600 Mil to get less drugs & we got more drugs? Someone has this bass ackwards...


Friday, August 24, 2007

Is Coletti reading LoC?

Dodgers designated RHP Brett Tomko for assignment and signed fathead David Wells for the remainder of 2007. Tomko, in the second year of a two-year, $8.7 million contract supplied by GM Ned Coletti (brilliant, Ned!), went 10-18 with a 5.24 ERA in 30 starts and 44 relief appearances during his time with the Dodgers. He'll probably never get that kind of money again. Prediction: but someone will sign him by Aug. 31st.

New Low in Celebrity Pathetic-ness

LONDON, England (AP) -- A British newspaper splashed photos of singer Amy Winehouse bloody and bruised across its Friday edition after she allegedly had a fight with her husband.

Amy Winehouse rides with a friend last week. Recent photos appeared to indicate she'd been in a fracas.

The photos, supposedly taken early Thursday morning, showed Winehouse wearing blood-soaked ballet shoes, with bruises to her neck, bandages on her arms and makeup smeared down her face.

A gossip Web site reported that Winehouse had said her injuries were self-inflicted.

Police confirmed they had been called to an incident at a London hotel by a concerned member of the public but said no charges were filed.

The singer announced Tuesday that she was postponing her upcoming U.S. and Canadian tour dates after she canceled August performances due to "severe exhaustion."

Britain's Press Association said the couple were staying in the hotel after leaving a drug rehabilitation clinic in Essex, east of London.

The Daily Mail also published photos of Winehouse together with her husband, Blake Fielder-Civil, after the alleged fight. His face and neck were covered in scratches.

The gossip Web site said it received text messages from Winehouse explaining the incident and denying Fielder-Civil was responsible for her injuries.

"Blake is the best man in the world. We would never ever harm each other," the Web site quoted Winehouse as saying. "I was cutting myself after he found me in our room about to do drugs ... and rightly said I wasn't good enough for him. I lost it and he saved my life."

"Also, I had four drugged Guatemalan street urchins with me I had also drugged and was about to do a Wiccan ritual over to detoxify my soul. I am just such a pathetic example of celebrity excess. Please give me the LohanHilton treatment with a little bit of Pete Daugherty and Kate Moss thrown in to boot. Because I am just so so lost and you should all care and judge me and tell me what a bad girl I am."

"Please, it's much more important than thinking about anything else. Especially all the war stuff and America's quickly crumbling infrastructure or fantasy sports. It's just so much more important. I'm going to cut myself to raise your awareness. Ok?"

The End is Near

Beware Chicago, a giant ball of fire has appeared in the sky.

Ted Nugent: The Deadest of the Brain Dead

Ted Nugent curses out Hillary, Obama, Feinstein and issues threats with Machine Guns

Of course, he talks tough but he's actually (shockingly!) a draft dodging, sissyhawk:

"He claims that 30 days before his draft board physical, he disavowed personal hygiene. The last ten days he ingested nothing but junk food and Pepsi, and with a week to go until the physical, he stopped using the bathroom altogether. When the big day came, he had been living in excrement-caked and urine-stained pants. Always the hero, however, Nugent reassured the Free Press, “But if I would have gone over there, I’d have been killed, or I’d have killed all the Hippies in the foxholes. I would have killed everybody.” (Detroit Free Press, 1990)

you guyz gonna gotst one of dese??

Dere's supposed to be a total lunar eclipse here on Monday.

Well, do ya, punkz?

while we're at it, let's just get rid of trials...

Texas Carries Out 400th Execution - Bush Wants To End Appeals Process For Death Row Inmates


Is Decker ever going to pick?

here's a shocker

French won't extradite wanted suspect

The French government has notified U.S. authorities that it will not extradite Hans Peterson, the man who allegedly confessed to killing a downtown dermatologist in 2006.

Now with a matching helmet!

Back-to-school goes ballistic

Parents have a new item to add to their kids' back-to-school supplies list: the bulletproof backpack. Just in time for the new academic year, Massachusetts-based MJ Safety Solutions has unveiled My Child's Pack, described on the company's website as the first "full size, lightweight ballistic protection backpack that is affordable and practical."

S#i+ Blowing Up

Adam Eaton (shoulder) will throw around 40 pitches in a rehab start for Double-A Reading on Friday. Eaton expects to be activated from the disabled list and start Tuesday's game against the Mets.

skilly's report

Mammoth storm Thursday; possibly one of most expansive here
Tom Skilling
August 24, 2007

The Chicago area is no stranger to powerful thunderstorms. But the expanse and breadth of Thursday afternoon and evening's outbreak was enough to make even veteran meteorologists, like my colleague Steve Kahn, who for more than 40 years worked for the National Weather Service here, sit up and take notice. Rare is the storm outbreak that produces damage and flooding from one corner of the metro area to the other. Yet, that's just what happened yesterday. Steve compares the scope of the damage produced by Thursday's storms to an Aug. 26-27, 1965 squall line which, unlike the latest surge, hit in the middle of the night.The area's strongest wind gusts reached 80 m.p.h. at Manhattan and 75 m.p.h. at Elgin. But 60+ m.p.h. wind gusts swept virtually every corner of the region. The storms roared across the area at nearly 60 m.p.h. and towered at one point to 64,000 ft.--more than 12 miles into the atmosphere.----------

Tom Skilling is chief meteorologist at WGN-TV. His forecasts can be seen Monday through Friday on WGN-TV News at noon and 9 p.m.
WGN-TV meteorologists Steve Kahn, Richard Koeneman and Paul Dailey plus weather producer Bill Snyder contribute to this page.

Now we're killing our friends

'Friendly fire' kills UK soldiers

Three British soldiers have been killed in Afghanistan by so-called friendly fire from American fighter planes, the Ministry of Defence (MoD) has said.
The MoD said the soldiers, from 1st Battalion The Royal Anglian Regiment, were killed at around 1830 local time (1500 BST) on Thursday.
It is understood they died when the planes dropped a bomb near their patrol in Helmand province.
Two other soldiers were also injured. Next of kin have been informed.
The fighter planes had been called in to give air support to ground troops, the Ministry of Defence said.

It's Spreading to Football...

I was seriously just talking about how good this guy was like two or three hours ago...

From Rotoworld:

Donald Driver was carted off the field in the second quarter of Thursday night's preseason matchup with a right foot injury.

Driver was pounding his fist on the front of the cart as he was being driven away. Tests in the locker room will determine the injury's severity. The Packers have a group of promising young players behind him, but can ill afford to lose their most proven wideout by far for a significant period of time. Aug. 23 - 9:15 pm et

Thursday, August 23, 2007

even a numbers guy can wear rose-colored, proven veteran glasses

Red Sox signed infielder Royce Clayton to a minor league contract.

The man is with the tarrists, a cut-and-runner, a coward...

Sen. Warner calls for Withdrawal in Iraq starting on Sept. 15th

government should be run more like a business (cont'd) Gets Hacked - Personal Data On Hundreds Of Thousands Stolen

anudder guy who has pretty much always sucked

Let's he a veteran?...Yes?...Ok, let's call him up...

Mariners purchased the contract of RHP Rick White from Triple-A Tacoma. Good luck with that. White had a 7.67 ERA in 29 1/3 innings for the Astros this season.

now this is good

Thirty years of horrible, idiotic foreign policy decisions summarized:

Daily Show: Three Generations of “America to the Rescue”

Expect Nationwide Delays

O'Hare evacuates air traffic control tower.

Grady Little hearts roasted squirrel with ketchup

Right back in the lineup even though Andre Ethier and Matt Kemp both had nice games Wednesday, Luis Gonzalez went 0-for-4 Thursday against the Phillies.
Gonzalez is batting just .224 with one homer in 107 at-bats since the All-Star break. He's even stopped walking, with just five base on balls in the second half after he had 41 in 293 at-bats before the break. Especially after factoring in defense, the Dodgers would seem to be quite a bit better off with both Ethier and Kemp playing regularly right now. Blame Grady Little for continuing to sign play Gonzalez, but also blame GM Ned Colletti, who gave the 39-year-old a $7.35 million contract when there was very little upside to the move. Plus, Colletti had to know Little would stick with him far too long if he wasn't any good.

expect gargantuan, soul-crushing, life-altering delays

(Crain’s) — Chicago Transit Authority service cuts that could take effect next month are just a small taste of what could come next year without new state funding, an agency executive said Thursday.

"CTA service would be completely decimated," cut as much as 75%, CTA Executive Vice-president Dorval Carter said at the Regional Transportation Authority board meeting. "You’ll see CTA customers stranded as their transit options disappear."

Without a new transit funding package from state lawmakers, the CTA could also raise cash fares next year to as high as $6 to plug what could be a $250-meeeellion hole in its operating budget, Mr. Carter said. Single-ride cash fares are currently $2.

Gov. Rod Blagojevich signed a state budget Thursday for fiscal 2008 that does not include new transit funding.

Andy Rooney in bizarro world

A no-hit game for me

Most ridiculous line: "It seems like a major mystery that baseball has never caught on in other countries the way it has here." Though a few sentences earlier he states all of the stars are named Rodriguez. Where does he think those players come from? Or that baseball in Cuba has thrived for decades? Or that the Japanese are absolutely insane for the game?

Really, what a maroon. He honestly gets paid to write this brain-dead garbage?

(Though cricket is duller than hopscotch.)

Transgendered Weather Systems?

The remnants of Hurricane Dean are nearing the Pacific. What will it be called? Well, the weather guy from CNN says if it's still spinning when it gets there, it will be called Dean. If it stops spinning, then starts again, then it will get a new name. A female name. Talk about an identity crisis.

Hendry still awake...

Cubs acquired outfielder Craig Monroe from the Tigers for a player to be named. It seems they weren't satisfied with Matt Murton's performance. Monroe will help out in left field while Alfonso Soriano is out and then likely act as the right fielder against left-handers when Soriano returns. His power should give him a little value in NL-only leagues.

Corms in QT?

I suppose it could be Jesus Christ or the ghost of Johnny Cash...

J.C., a Mount Prospect reader, writes:
"On a recent trip to Boston, there were numerous signs on the highways saying that driving in the 'breakdown lane' was prohibited. When did shoulders become breakdown lanes, and when can we have shoulders back?"

Did Adam really take Peyton Manning?

Even i know that's awful...

Earth to the Country Bumpkin

a little secret: Brett Tomko SUCKS. He has always sucked and will continue to SUCK. How could this guy be any worse? Hell, even the Phillies got Awful Adam Eaton out of the rotation. But thanks for helping the rest of the National League...

The Dodgers say they have no plans to call up pitching prospect James McDonald to replace Brett Tomko in the rotation. "It's not going to happen," Manager Grady Little said. "If he was ready, he'd already be here." McDonald has a 12-9 record with a 3.15 earned-run average and 159 strikeouts in 125 2/3 innings between Jacksonville and Class-A Inland Empire this season.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

i'm sure it's just a coincidence

Mining disasters under:

Clinton: Zero.
Bush: Seven.

Growing Up...

And justifying the faith...

B.J. Upton hit a homer to give the Rays their only runs in a 2-1 win over the Red Sox on Wednesday.

Tampa Bay would have been swept at home if it lost this one. Upton's shot off Daisuke Matsuzaka was his 18th of the year. It was a go-ahead blast only because he cut down David Ortiz at the plate with the Red Sox up 1-0 in the fifth.

You have to like this team's future if they can find a park that doesn't look like the inside of a to-go container.

Cowboys might be tough this year

Texas 30, Baltimore 3 / Box Score

Paul Shuey might start thinking about moving on down the road. First, you're coming into a 21-3 game and then you proceed to give up 9 more runs in two innings. His ERA is 9.49.

Baltimore lead 3-0 after 3 innings...and it's the first game of a doubleheader!

BALTIMORE (AP) -- The Texas Rangers became the first team in 110 years to score 30 runs in a game, setting an American League record Wednesday in a 30-3 rout of the Baltimore Orioles. Trailing 3-0 in the opener of a doubleheader, the Rangers scored five runs in the fourth, nine in the sixth, 10 in the eighth and six in the ninth. It was the ninth time a major league team scored 30 runs, the first since Chicago set the major league scoring record in a 36-7 rout of Louisville in a National League game on June 28, 1897, according to the Elias Sports Bureau. Jarrod Saltalamacchia and Ramon Vazquez, the bottom two batters in Texas' lineup, each finished with seven RBIs. The Rangers' 29 hits were the most in the major leagues since Milwaukee had 31 in a 22-2 victory over Toronto on Aug. 28, 1992, according to Elias.

the scariest video EVER

Here's anudder big-money Republican @$$hole i hate. HATE.

After Bush & Co., who let moral degenerate CEOs like this run wild, on the short list for @$$hole of the Year:

CNN Softballs Bob Murray…What about those documents?

Last week he said, "These are the worst mining conditions I've seen in fifty years..." Uh, dude, it's YOUR phokking mine, and YOU got the feds to let you do whatever the phokk you wanted to do, so who's fault is this? And safety? Yeah, i know, that shit costs money--but what's a few miners lives' lost, especially if they're Mexican...dat's da American Way, apparently. Well, Bushian, certainly. Go phokk yourself.

Another stupid, phokking thing he said right after the accident: "Without coal to manufacture our electricity, our products will not compete in the global marketplace against foreign countries…and people on fixed incomes will not be able to pay their electric bills... And every one of these global warming bills that has been introduced in Congress to date eliminates the coal industry and will increase your electric rates four to five-fold.” So let me see if i've got this straight: Better mine safety (which has nothing to do with global warming) is anti-American? Phokk you.

Oh yeah, his good buddy, Richard Stickler, head of the Mine Safety and Health Administration, was a Bush recess appointment. Even the Republicans in congress didn't want this phokking guy.

back soon - like new

Phillies placed LHP Cole Hamels on the 15-day disabled list, retroactive to Aug. 17, with a strained left elbow. While the Phillies said that it was possible Hamels would miss just one start, it appears they intended to put him on the DL all along. An MRI reportedly showed no ligament damage, which is good news. To replace Hamels, the Phillies have decided to start Fabio Castro on Thursday. Shane Victorino returned from the DL to fill the open roster spot.

This gives Decker a couple of weeks to come to his senses and trade him to me. Think of the children.

ok, let's see...the poor...and the...poor?

"When I was coming up, it was a dangerous world, and you knew exactly who they were. It was us versus them, and it was clear who them was. Today, we are not so sure who the they are, but we know they're there."--The Stupid Phokking Idiot in the White House; Council Buffs, Iowa; 1/21/00

Da RezzziDUNCE absolutely FULLA$#i+ in speech today about Iraq? Shocking!

Bush uses Vietnam as an excuse for Iraq: Evokes Graham Greene


didn't BP predict 72-90?

DJ: ...Not in the minds of the coaching staff or the front office.
Hawk: Well, nobody could see it coming. It's just that simple.

Then: DJ: Nobody knew or could have foreseen the Sox playing the way they have this year. If anybody could have explained it to them earlier in the year [Ozzie] probably would have slapped him in the head and walked away.

later...DJ:...It's been uncanny, nobody could truly explain it. Nobody foresaw this kind of turnaround.

Juan Pierre: Still Doing the Little Things, damnit!

Beating A Horse That Died Like Six Years Ago

Pierre not bothered with OBP issues

If There is An Intelligent Computer Programmer...

He's a fucking idiot.

Thank God "The Surge" (TM) started a month later and saved others from this fate...I left in the little prompts from CNN that make the story more Flaubertian:

BAGHDAD, Iraq (CNN) -- Five-year-old Youssif is scarred for life, his once beautiful smile turned into a grotesquely disfigured face -- the face of a horrifying act by masked men. They grabbed him on a January day outside his central Baghdad home, doused him with gas and set him ablaze.

It's an act incomprehensibly savage, even by Iraq's standards today. No one has been arrested and the motive remains unknown.

In a war-ravaged city torn by sectarian violence and marked by acts of vengeance, this attack's apparent randomness stands out as an example of what life has become in a place where brutality -- even against young children -- is a constant.

"They dumped gasoline, burned me, and ran," Youssif told CNN, pointing down the street with his scarred hands where his attackers fled.

Photo See photographs of Youssif before and after the attack »

As he sucked his thumb, he repeated, "I was burning." He tried to put the flames out himself.

It looks as though this boy's face melted and then froze into rivers cutting through swollen hard flesh. It's hard to see the energetic outgoing child his parents describe beneath the sullen demeanor that defines Youssif today.

"He's become spiteful, I am not sure why," said his mother, Zainab. "He is jealous of everyone. If I say the slightest thing to him, he cries. He's sensitive."

Video Watch the mother describe how she cries at night wracked with guilt »

Even things like eating have become a chore. His face contorts when he tries to shovel rice into his mouth, carefully angling the spoon and then using his fingers to push the little grains through lips he can no longer fully open.

No aid organizations have taken up Youssif's cause at this point. CNN and will keep you updated if this changes.

He has also become jealous of the baby sister he used to dote on. "I sit sometimes at night and cry," Zainab said, her voice heavy with guilt. "If only I hadn't let him go outside, if only I hadn't let him play."

It was on January 15 that masked men attacked her boy, their identities still unknown. Zainab said she was upstairs at the time.

"I heard screaming. I thought someone was fighting or something," she said.

She ran downstairs, saw her son and fainted. When she came to, she barely recognized her child. "His head was so swollen, you couldn't see his eyes, and his nose was pushed in."

"There was blood," she added, shuddering slightly. "The skin was melted off."

He spent two months in the hospital recovering from the severe burns. These days Youssif spends most of his time indoors, in front of the computer. It's only then that traces of the 5-year-old in him emerge. "He can't play outside with the other kids," Zainab said. "The other day they were playing, and he came in crying. I asked him, 'What's wrong?' and he said, 'They won't play with me because I am burned.'"

Don't Miss

* Iraq mothers turn to prostitution
* Interpreters in harm's way
* 14 U.S. soldiers killed in Iraq crash

She said he once wanted to be a doctor and he loved kindergarten. "He used to be the one who would wake me up every morning, saying let's go to school," Zainab recalled.

She coaxed him to tell me the few words he knows in English. "Girl, boy, window, fan," he said, his voice barely audible, the words barely intelligible.

Doctors told the family there is little more they can do to help Youssif. The family can't afford care outside Iraq.

So Zainab has taken a massive risk by telling her story to the world. Her husband works as a security guard, and it's too dangerous for him to talk to the media.


"I'd prefer death than seeing my son like this," Zainab said.

All she wants is for someone to help her little boy smile again.

has K-Mad been driving out to Wheeling for his duck liver fix?

Finding foie gras

some brain activity in Kansas City

With Odalis Perez (knee) likely headed to the disabled list, Zack Greinke is scheduled to start Friday against the Indians.

shocking - and who's behind the book burnings?

Liberals read more than conservatives (My Pet Goat doesn't count...)

there's a 100% chance it will land on a Cyclone

News Item: NASA expects a 1,400-pound ammonia tank from the international space station to fall out of orbit in 10 to 12 months, with pieces as heavy as 39 pounds surviving re-entry, but says there is only a 1-in-5,000 chance of the pieces hitting anyone. That is about the same chance a golfer has of hitting a hole in one. In other news, a blind woman hit a hole in one at a Pennsylvania country club over the weekend . . .

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Buncha Wusses

Japan recalls arm wrestling game

A Japanese arm wrestling game is being withdrawn from arcades across the country after three players broke their arms, company officials said.

Arm Spirit, which is distributed by Atlus, is to be removed from 150 game emporiums as "a precaution".

"We think that maybe some players get over-excited and twist their arms in an unnatural way," a spokesman said.

An investigation has been launched into the incidents and the machines are being checked for any malfunctions.

"The machine isn't that strong, much less so than a muscular man. Even women should be able to beat it," company spokesman Ayano Sakiyama told AP news agency.

Arm Spirit gamers advance through 10 levels, pitting their strength against a French maid, a drunken martial arts master and a Chihuahua dog before reaching the final challenge - a professional wrestler.

It is not available outside Japan.

Thanks Dodgers!

For starting the gawdawful Brett Tomko tonight, who has sucked just about every year he's been in the majors, with predictable results (he lost). After tonight he's 2-11 with a 5.80 ERA (in a pitcher's park). There isn't a starting pitcher anywhere in their minor league system who could do better than this guy? If not, their director of minor league development needs to be shitcanned. Still, with the Hamels news, i'm sure glad Grady the Country Bumpkin started the proven veteran again...

Just figured this one out myself...

Aug 18 Drew has been unable to recapture the hitting success he enjoyed last season, reports.

Recommendation: After hitting .316 with 25 extra-base hits in 209 at-bats last year, Drew entered Friday's game with a .232 batting average and a .175 mark in August. On the plus side, he hasn't allowed the struggles at the plate to carry over into the field. "The biggest thing for me is to keep playing defense the way I have been," he said. "The hitting is there. I'm not worried about that". Thus far, Arizona has shown no inclination to sit their shortstop while his season-long tailspin continues unabated. - you can count on them to be right on top of these things...but you have to love the plug for the importance of defense...

face it, Decks...

You are The Kiss of Death.

The New Face of Tommy John?

From Rotoworld...

Cole Hamels will miss his scheduled start Wednesday because of a mild MCL strain in his left elbow.

Uh oh. Whether it wrecks their postseason chances or not, the Phillies need to be very cautious here. Team physician Michael Ciccotti said Hamels could miss one to three weeks, pending the results of an MRI. The Phillies will move up the rest of the rotation one day and go with J.D. Durbin on Wednesday. They could call up J.A. Happ to start Saturday, but a trade for Steve Trachsel or someone similar will have to be considered. Aug. 21 - 8:33 pm et

This, of course, is bad news for Smiff. But then again, it's partially his fault. If he hadn't just offered me Gallardo straight up for Hamels, thus dooming me to say no and watch my best starter then disappear for a year and a half, he would have been fine.

The troops: they are against themselves and could be with the tarrists, if you will...

If a powerful op-ed falls in a forest…

Rest assured, Olbermann will be the only one to report on this scathing op-ed by seven of the troops...

The War as We Saw It

But i think i'm with Tucker Carlson (he of the extensive military background) on this one: who the phokk are these losers?

a book? uh, what's that?

One in four Americans say they read no books in 2006

dey should call it da Suck Cam

From the epicenter of suckiness...

Smiff looking out for you guys

Five rules to win a fantasy football league

Someone forward to Adam - he appears to be even more clueless than Decker.

Sout'side Suckfest

i hadn't realized it has got dis bad:

Royals 55 69 .444 13.5
White Sox 55 69 .444 13.5

Last place? Only the Devil Rays have a worse record in the AL. Honestly, how does Ozzie go on living?

CTA goes Hi-Tech

The trib has an interactive chat on the CTA

Keeping the Dark People down (cont)

I'm at home, watching the CNN. They're asking the question "What impact will Hurricane Dean have on the price of oil?" It may have killed people in the Caribbean, on the Yucatan, but who gives a phokk? We want to know what happens when it hits the Mexican oil wells. US Oil wells? Don't worry about those, those are way north. Well, oil prices are going down. The analysts say we dodged a bullet. Thank God. Now, can we send a fraction of the billions saved to the victims of the hurricane?

K-Mad's Fate, part 2?

EDINBURGH (AFP) - A dwarf performer at the Edinburgh fringe festival had to be rushed to hospital after his penis got stuck to a vacuum cleaner during an act that went horribly awry.

Daniel Blackner, or "Captain Dan the Demon Dwarf", was due to perform at the Circus of Horrors at the festival known for its oddball, offbeat performances.

The main part of his act saw him appear on stage with a vacuum cleaner attached to his member through a special attachment.

The attachment broke before the performance and Blackner tried to fix it using extra-strong glue, but unfortunately only let it dry for 20 seconds instead of the 20 minutes required.

He then joined it directly to his organ. The end result? A solid attachment, laughter, mortification and ... hospitalisation.

"It was the most embarrassing moment of my life when I got wheeled into a packed AE with a vacuum attached to me," Blackner said.

"I just wished the ground could swallow me up. Luckily, they saw me quickly so the embarrassment was short-lived."

Monday, August 20, 2007

Da Sox can't do nothin' right

- B. Jenks relieved M. MacDougal
- J. Gathright singled to left

Jenks gets to strike from the record...and can't close the deal. Example #785 why the Sox sux this year...and why hasn't the macho man manager hung himself in his office yet?

Is this the new, gentler face of "Roid-Rage"?

(now that Barry, just being Barry, has kissed off Hank Aaron...)

Or just Julian being Julian?

"I only said to him in Anaheim, 'Listen, I think you are looking at the (catcher's signs) every time you are hitting.' He was turning his face to look. I said, 'If you are doing it, stop, because I will hit you.' I said it in the right way. But he said, ‘No, I’m not doing it,’ and that was the only thing I said to him."
--Red Sox starter Julian Tavarez, on what he said to Angels shortstop Orlando Cabrera in the past before plunking him during Sunday's game in Boston. (Mark Murphy, Boston Herald)

raining again in Chicago?

St. Louis 6, Chi Cubs 4, Delayed 7th inn.

I'm tellings ya, if sKILLy was the "weather"man round here, he would be driven insane in a matter of weeks. No more "thunderstorm alerts" or "rain events" or "there's a 20% chance we could all be dead by 4 o' for your lives." This from local "weather watch" page on August 6th:

The city is in the midst of pretty decent streak without measurable rain. After today, it will be 105 days since it rained in town. The last time was April 23, when 0.01 of an inch was recorded. There have been four days with a trace of rain since then, but the city hasn't even recorded a trace since May 21. The longest the city has ever gone without measurable rain is 182 days, from April 17 to Oct. 16, 2004. But long dry streaks are certainly not unusual in San Diego. We'll have to make it into September without rain just to crack the top 20.

I can assure you there hasn't been a single drop in the last two weeks, nieder.

"Decker is not a phokking blip -

he is a human being!!"

Why did I get stuck with the boring simulation?

News Item: Nick Bostrom, philosopher and director of the Future of Humanity Institute at Oxford University, says there is a 20 percent chance that we -- all of us, everybody -- are not real, but just billions of consciousness simulations being run on some super computer universe simulator.

It's a Good Thing Fungster Doesn't Drive

Man steals bus to pick up driver's license Thu Aug 16, 9:16 AM ET

A Zimbabwe man stole a bus because he needed transport to pick up his driving license, state media reported Thursday.

The Herald newspaper said Stead Mashushire waited until the driver of a bus parked in a central Harare rank had gone to buy food before ordering all the passengers out and driving off in the vehicle.

The driver and another motorists chased the bus and Mashushire was caught about 7 kilometers (four miles) away.

He admitted in court to stealing the bus and said he needed transport to pick up his driver's license. The court ordered Mashushire to undergo a psychiatric test. He remains in custody until sentencing on August 29.

Business as Usual

The incredible $1 Million washers.

The New Man in the Blue Ward...

The Prospectus knows a folk hero when it sees one...

Joba Chamberlain and Popular Madness
by Joe Sheehan

“Joba! Joba! Joba!”

Five major league appearances.

“Joba! Joba! Joba!”

Twenty-four major-league batters faced.

“Joba! Joba! Joba!”

Eighty-seven career pitches.

Joba Chamberlain has fewer career strikeouts (11) than Johan Santana had just on Sunday afternoon (17), but he’s already a folk hero in New York. At Yankee Stadium yesterday, the crowd reacted to him before he even entered the game, buzzing as he warmed up in the bullpen, and cheering wildly as he trotted in to start the seventh inning. The chants of “Joba!” grew throughout his nine-pitch, two-strikeout evisceration of the heart of the Detroit Tigers’ order, and culminated in a standing ovation for the second-year pro as he walked off the mound after whiffing Carlos Guillen.

Joba Chamberlain is the Monster who will slay the Lord Viper Juggernaut.

(Next year.)

I’m not sure even the opening chords of “Enter Sandman” inspire what I heard yesterday. Joba Chamberlain has been in the major leagues for two weeks, and he already has heard 50,000 people chant his name on the game’s greatest stage. The energy that ripped through the ballpark during his appearance, the way the crowd embraced and enhanced the moment, the way Chamberlain rose to the occasion with his powerful right arm… a baseball season creates memories along the way, and this is one that I’ll replay for years to come.

K-Mad's Fate?

BELGRADE, Serbia (Reuters) -- A 23-year old Serb was found dead and half-eaten in the bear cage of Belgrade Zoo at the weekend during the annual beer festival.
The man was found naked, with his clothes lying intact inside the cage. Two adult bears, Masha and Misha, had dragged the body to their feeding corner and reacted angrily when keepers tried to recover it.
"There's a good chance he was drunk or drugged. Only an idiot would jump into the bear cage," zoo director Vuk Bojovic told Reuters.
Local media reported that police found several mobile phones inside the cage, as well as bricks, stones and beer cans.