Saturday, June 2, 2007

Chicago Cubs


I hate this fuck so much...

From the New York Times...Dusty Baker again proving what a miserable fuck he is and oh my God I hate him...HATE him. If he ever manages again, the miserable fuck who hires him should immediately be banned from baseball. He is the WORST. I would take Charlie Manual ten times over him a week (oh, maybe not, but I would take him twice)...this fucking martyr resents...oh fuck it..., from the New York Times:

Like Riggleman before him, Baker has come under withering criticism for using both Wood and Prior so much that he risked destroying their careers. He protests when I bring it up with him. “What is overuse?” he says. “There didn’t used to be such a word but now it’s widely used. . . . You got to blame somebody, and I got blamed for everything.”

Dusty, throwing away another career in this picture...but clearly, it's never his fault. He belongs in the Bush Administration...

Scorpion Design

Kind of tried to go with a "war field" look - like - this is the place in which we destroy you...

Lord Viper Scorpions, after all, do not play to look pretty...

I think it's fair to say.



Kevin Millwood surrendered seven runs -- four earned -- in five innings to take a no-decision against the Mariners in his return from the disabled list.
Well, the Mariners' bats have been hot of late. Still, it was another discouraging showing from the Rangers' $60 million pitcher. He has a 6.69 ERA in seven starts this season and has as many wins (two) as stints on the disabled list. He's a mediocre play in AL-only leagues with the Tigers next on the schedule.

Friday, June 1, 2007

Putting it on the Line Since 2001

recommended for your reading and burning pleasure

Dese guys are total idiots, yet far and away among the smartest Ammerikkanzzz in Baghdad in the first year of the war. Funny funny depressing fascinating stuff.

The full title is Babylon by Bus: Or, the True Story of Two Friends Who Gave Up Their Valuable Franchise Selling Yankees Suck T-Shirts at Fenway to Find Meaning and Adventure in Iraq, Where They Became Employed by the Occupation in Jobs for Which They Lacked Qualifications and Witnessed Much That Amazed and Disturbed Them.

k-maditis strikes da Smeltzzz

Matt Holliday left Friday's game in the fifth inning after suffering a head contusion while in the dugout.

the squirrels are very angry, my friends (cont'd)

PHILADELPHIA (AP) -- Matt Morris nearly outdid his slugging teammates.

Morris allowed only a single over six innings and had a career-best three hits to lead the San Francisco Giants to a 13-0 victory over the Philadelphia Phillies on Friday night.

Fred Lewis hit his first career grand slam, and Ray Durham and Pedro Feliz both hit three-run shots for the Giants. Barry Bonds was 1-for-2 with two walks and stayed stuck on 746 career homers, 10 shy of breaking Hank Aaron's record.

even more funny stuff

Carlos Zambrano-S-Cubs Jun. 1 - 6:59 pm et
Carlos Zambrano was sent home by the Cubs after bloodying Michael Barrett during the confrontation in Friday's game.
So, he didn't leave on his own, which is probably a good thing. Still, he is facing discipline following his fight with Barrett in the dugout.

Michael Barrett-C-Cubs Jun. 1 - 6:58 pm et
Michael Barrett had to be sent to the hospital Friday after having his lip split open in his confrontation with Carlos Zambrano.
Manager Lou Piniella said after the game that Barrett is facing discipline over the incident. He didn't return after the shoving match with Zambrano in the fifth inning of the game against the Braves.

just in time for Cub fanzzz


hours of amusement

Official Seal Generator

Cliff found something new to injure...

Cliff Floyd didn't play Friday because of inflammation in the cartilage in his rib cage.

dis blog ON FIRE today!!

Leave it to the Cubs...

Right between Yemen and Iran... sounds about right (with apologies to Yemen)

The Economist Intelligence Unit, in conjunction with an international team of academics and peace experts, has compiled an innovative new Global Peace Index (GPI), which ranks 121 nations according to their relative peacefulness.

And look, we're only 35 places behind Kazakhstan.

We gotz a better acrinim fur dere @ss: Go Phokk Yersevves (GPY). (But will this count against our score?)

Who's Dumber: Our Guy or Smiff's Guy

Dempster had one bad outing, and all of the sudden two Chicago papers are reporting that Guzman is being groomed to take over closing duties. That’s right, Guzman, a youngster with starting caliber stuff who looked strong after moving to the rotation, is going to replace Dempster, who’s blown one save and looked dominant for the most part this year. It’s almost as if Piniella and Phillies manager Charlie Manuel were dared to compete in a pitching stupid-off. There’s no other logical explanation for this.– rotoworld

how will this affect my portfolio? Smiff's weekend comfort level? Sanjaya's hair?

News item: NASA and Columbia University Earth Institute research finds that human-made greenhouse gases have brought the Earth’s climate close to critical tipping points, with potentially dangerous consequences for the planet.

this can't be good

"Carlos Zambrano has left the park."

How to throw fire on gasoline, and vice-versa.

Eyre is in.

Who could have predicted this?

Carlos Zambrano, a 2008 New York Yankee, went nuts and attacked Barrett in the dugout.

tough times for plutocrats (cont'd)

As far as I can see, this place will not be providing hookers.

Guess who's sucking today?

a) Cubs
b) Cubs
c) Cubs
d) All of the above

Hey Anderson: this is what you get for not hitting immediately like Babe Ruth

White Sox recalled outfielder Jerry Owens from Triple-A Charlotte.
The White Sox really are that far down on Brian Anderson. Owens was hitting .305/.386/.389 with 23 steals in 30 attempts for Charlotte, giving him essentially the same OPS as Anderson. However, he's not nearly the defender Anderson is.

Swindler taunts me (cont'd)

Kuo likely starter in Schmidt's absence... Dodger manager Grady Little has indicated that he is leaning toward Hong-Chih Kuo (LHP, LA) as the starter on Saturday against Pittsburgh. With Jason Schmidt (RHP, LA) on the DL, Kuo would have the opportunity to remain in the rotation for at least a couple of weeks if he is successful. Kuo struggled in his most recent start for AAA Las Vegas, but he has 28 strikeouts in 20 IP at Las Vegas and has shown flashes of brilliance in his brief major league career. What might we expect from him? A comparison of his work last season in relief and in the rotation gives us a clue.

Role IP ERA Ctl Dom Cmd HR/9 OBA
====== == ==== === === === ==== ====
Starter 29 3.07 2.2 10.8 5.0 0.3 .257
Reliever 30 5.34 7.7 10.7 1.4 0.6 .232

These splits show both the promise and the problem with Kuo. In terms of promise, in 2006 Kuo had a great xERA of 2.98 with a BPV of 96. He had no difficulty striking out major league hitters. And in his five starts, he had three that were PQS dominant with no PQS disasters. But his work as a reliever shows his biggest problem--frequently he can't find the plate. So far in Las Vegas, he's been pretty good, with only 8 walks in his 20 IP, for a Ctl ratio of 3.6 and Cmd of 3.5. As the Baseball Forecaster put it, Kuo is "the ultimate high-risk, high-reward gamble." Whether he belongs on your roster depends entirely upon your level of risk tolerance.

that didn't take too long

1-0 Braves already and most of the poor Cub schlubs are still looking for their seats..."You are in my seat!" "Ah, no, you're in the wrong section...actually you're on the wrong side of the park...gee thanks, i just missed the lined shot into the gap..."

finally, some good news

Lindsay Lohan is reportedly taking a shine to rehab.

Live Free or Die by Having Your Face Propelled Through the Windshield at a Very High Speed

News item: New Hampshire Senate rejects state seat belt law by vote of 16 to 8.

"Today, you may hear that 49 other states have passed similar legislation," said Senator Bob Clegg, a Republican. "I happen to be proud of the fact that here in New Hampshire, we make our own decisions. If you want to wear a seat belt, you are free to do so. If you want to risk your life by not wearing one, it is not the government's responsibility to force you to."

And... New Hampshire passed a civil union law? When da Taliban hears dis, dey'll attack.

Hogzilla (cont'd)

Annudder surprise: he attends Christian Heritage Academy.

Dat is one big-@ss pig.

Al Gore's biggest problem

Still not folksy enough.

Piniella's biggest problem

Not fiery enough.

Hendry vs. Sabean: Idiot GM Smackdown!

Who really IS the biggest idiot GM?

The Marlins will be on the hook for just $333,333 of Armando Benitez's salary after acquiring him from the Giants on Thursday.
The Giants will pick up the remainder of the $5,076,666 he was due. That means they will have paid him about $21.17 million for 45 saves over the last three three years.

Tomorrow's Bill O'Rally Today

Another thing that's not like it used to be:

The "National" Spelling Bee. Try INTERnational. What's with the all phokking Canadians? and New Zealand??? don't they have their own spelling competitions? idiot from Newfoundland...language of origin, Canadian: N E W F I E. Then there all the foreign words. I heard more French and German than good ol' American U S and A. Japanese soup? Polish folk dances? Are they phokking kidding me??? Aren't the English words hard enough? Did they run of words in English? Really, get rid of all the foreign crap and speaka da English. Smiff, OUT.

Thursday, May 31, 2007

plutocrats doing whatever da phokk dey want (cont'd)

So the HYOOOGE @HOLE with a dangerous strain of tuberculosis who was told not to travel, but ended up flying around the world anyway, is:

1) an ambulance-chasing personal-injury lawyer
2) from Georgia.

either way...expect delays

Daley warns of CTA cuts

they're smarter than most of us (inc. Dumbya)

Two cicadas meet on a tree. One says to the other: "I can't believe Bush is still president."

I'll wait while you recover from being savagely shocked...

Faulty Fox News?

As much as it's old hat to raise questions about Fox News Channel's coverage of political issues, it was still surprising (even to a cynical eye) to see that FNC gave less than half the airtime that MSNBC did to coverage of the war in Iraq — 15 percent of its airtime versus 31 percent for MSNBC...

If Fox was less focused on the Iraq War, what took its place? Mostly — according to the numbers — Anna Nicole Smiff!

and 6. FULL@$#!+!

Redefining history

President Bush regarding Americans who question his Iraq war policy:
"I recognize there are a handful there."

QT Abridged Too Far Dictionary of the English Language:

handful. n. 1. 76 percent of Americans. 2. 52 percent of Republicans. 3. Don't these people know they are emboldening the enemy? 4. And that the terrorists will follow us home? 5. Wait, why don't these slogans work anymore? [see: up, because the jig is].

I'm fairly confident he will suck

Smelt/Prairie Chicken Hong-Chih Kuo is still the most likely candidate to get the start for the Dodgers Saturday, even as he didn't have a strong appearance at Triple-A on Monday (five runs, 4 2/3 innings), the Los Angeles Times reports. "Right now, I'm leaning toward Kuo," Grady Little said. "I'm fairly confident that will be the guy."

Calling Dr. Kevorkian Part I

The Cubs last night put it all together in their most complete game of the season and pulled off a stunning 9-0 defeat at the hands of the Florida Marlins to fall to 22-29 on the season. After a half hour players only meeting in the clubhouse Wednesday afternoon, the Cubs quickly came out and showed what they had talked about behind closed doors. Ted Lilly came out of the gate with guns blazing as he gave up a home run to deep left to the second batter of the game, the almighty Dan Uggla. After breaking down and getting Hanley Ramirez out some shlub named Miguel Cabrera hit, as Ron Santo would say, a magentic home run to the exact same place that Uggla hit his. Lilly then retired the next batter to get out of the inning at which point the game should have been called. With Sergio Mitre going to the mound for the Marlins it was clearly evident that the two runs would hold up for Florida, and they did.

The team’s braintrust held a two hour closed door meeting in manager Lou Piniella’s office before the game and we can only tremble in fear at what conclusions Piniella, Jim Hendry, Randy Bush, John McDonnough, and some other suit from the Tribune came to. Needless to say they will be seeking the wrong solutions.

After this weekend’s series against Atlanta exactly one third of the season will have been played, and what should be most evident is that this is just not a very good team. Of course the braintrust won’t see it that way. They’ll see that this team plays in a godawful division. They’ll see what this team could do if every player plays at his absolute best instead of what each player could be reasonably expected to do. They’ll see the empty seats from last September when the team was 30 games under .500. They’ll see that the team will probably have a new owner by this time next year. They’ll see that with a new owner everyone above Piniella will be out of a job. They’ll see that what happens the next four months will determine their ability to eventually get a job with another team in the future. They’ll see that they have to win this year. What we’ll see is a team that will take years to recover from the neglect and incompetence of the last few. How bad is this team? Let’s see.

For some stupid reason people thought that the bullpen would be a strength going into the season. It hasn’t been. Ryan Dempster has been their best reliever and that’s really all that needs to be said. Bullpens are very fickle as are the pitchers who make up a bullpen. As such signing just about any reliever for more than a year or two is a fool’s gambit. Of course we all know who’s undertaken this gambit for the last few years.

Despite having a good April, the starting rotation is starting to show it’s true colors. Expect to see a lot of the Ted Lilly we saw last night for the rest of the season. With the weather heating up and the Summer wind changing direction Lilly’s extreme fly ball tendencies will be providing a lot of souvenirs for the ball hawks on Waveland and Sheffield. Jason Marquis has gotten off to fast starts before and it’s translated into exactly one season with an ERA below 4.00. Marquis has reverted to form his last 4 or 5 starts generally giving up 4 or 5 runs in 5 or 6 innings with the random good start thrown in just to give the illusion of mediocrity. Rich Hill epitomizes what’s wrong with the Cubs. Picking up from where he left off the last couple of months of 2006 he got off to a great start in 2007. Then the braintrust decided that he was just too easy to run against the few times that he actually allowed someone to reach base. Fearing that someone would steal 2nd and 3rd on the same pitch the team had Hill alter his delivery with runners on base. This led to a series of bad starts where once someone did get on base he’d lose his command and start walking people and giving up hits, many of the 4 base variety. Hill seems to have found a comfort level with his new runners on base approach and looks to have evened out as a solid number 2 or a good number 3 starter. Of course the Cubs risked losing that production by their repeated emphasis on the little things rather than the big things. Which brings us to Carlos Zambrano.

After a worse than normal April Big Z has been much better in May. His good starts aren’t as good as his good starts were in the past, his normal starts aren’t quite as good as his normal starts in the past, and his bad starts are worse than they have been in the past, but he’s still likely to be be a good starting pitcher for the next few years as long as there is no major structural injury, which I don’t think there is. I’ve been saying for a few years now that Zambrano will have a similar career arc to Livan Hernandez. Overwork early in Hernandez’s career led to an early decline taking him from an above average pitcher to an average pitcher. Hernandez has mostly leveled off at the average pitcher level for the last few years and figures to stay there for the next few. Zambrano started at a higher level than Hernandez so he doesn’t figure to drop to the level that Hernandez is currently. Zambrano started as a very good pitcher and now seems to have fallen to being an above average pitcher and should stay right around there for the foreseeable future, giving Zambrano a career the same shape as Hernandez’s but a different size. The Cubs had a chance to sign Zambrano long term at a reasonale price this past off season, but Hendry fiddled and the contract burned. Knowing that the team was about to be put on the auction block Hendry should have known that the cash flow that he was given this past off season wasn’t going to last. Instead he figured he could take care of Zambrano during the season. With the team’s ownership in a state of flux the cash won’t be there to sign him and Zambrano will walk after this season with the Cubs only get a draft pick as compensation. Since they can’t sign him and the team is horrible, they should be looking to trade him this season to help stock a nearly barren farm system. They won’t because Hendry and crew have to try to win as many as possible now thus damning the Cubs future to try to save their own.

To be continued…….

Who's to blame: Decker or K-Mad?

Felix Hernandez, who left his last start with a sore back, was tagged for seven runs in six innings by the Angels on Wednesday.

Something for K-Mad to do over da weekend.

Cicada Recipes

Dat's good eatin'...mmmm...southern cicada tartlets...

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Oh Plutocracy! Up Yours! Seriously, up yours...

You Bastards. 5-4 sounds like a not-too-distant presidential election score...what insane moron carved this court out of the slime?

Oh yeah...

NY Times
Injustice 5, Justice 4

Published: May 31, 2007

The Supreme Court struck a blow for discrimination this week by stripping a key civil rights law of much of its potency. The majority opinion, by Justice Samuel Alito, forced an unreasonable reading on the law, and tossed aside longstanding precedents to rule in favor of an Alabama employer that had underpaid a female employee for years. The ruling is the latest indication that a court that once proudly stood up for the disadvantaged is increasingly protective of the powerful.

Lilly Ledbetter, a supervisor at the Goodyear Tire & Rubber Company in Gadsden, Ala., sued her employer for paying her less than its male supervisors. At first, her salary was in line with the men’s, but she got smaller raises, which created a significant pay gap. Late in her career, Ms. Ledbetter filed a complaint with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. A jury found that Goodyear violated her rights under Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964.

Goodyear argued that she filed her complaint too late and, by a 5-4 margin, the Supreme Court agreed. Title VII requires employees to file within 180 days of “the alleged unlawful employment practice.” The court calculated the deadline from the day Ms. Ledbetter received her last discriminatory raise. Bizarrely, the majority insisted it did not matter that Goodyear was still paying her far less than her male counterparts when she filed her complaint.

In dissent, Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg noted that there were strong precedents supporting Ms. Ledbetter. The Supreme Court ruled in a similar race discrimination case that each paycheck calculated on the basis of past discrimination is unlawful under Title VII. The courts of appeals have overwhelmingly agreed. So did the E.E.O.C., the agency charged with enforcing Title VII.

In addition to interpreting the statute unreasonably and ignoring the relevant precedents, the majority blinded itself to the realities of the workplace. Employees generally do not know enough about what their co-workers earn, or how pay decisions are made, to file a complaint precisely when discrimination occurs. At Goodyear, as at many companies, salaries were confidential. The court’s new rules will make it extraordinarily difficult for victims of pay discrimination to sue under Title VII. That is not how Congress intended the law to be enforced, merely how five justices would like it to be.

It is disturbing that Anthony Kennedy, the court’s swing justice, cast the deciding vote in favor of gutting a key part of the Civil Rights Act. Fortunately, Congress can amend the law to undo this damaging decision. It should do so without delay.

Two Year Anniversary

"I think they're in the last throes--if you will--of the insurgency."--Dick "Dick" (DICK!) Cheney, a TOTAL PHOKKING DICK and totally phokking wrong (cont'd)

The Suckiest Sucks That Ever Sucked

Did Lou just forfeit dis one?

Florida 9
Chi Cubs 0

Even better, Sergio Mitre started for the Marlins.

K-Mad strikes again (cont'd)

Yankees GM Brian Cashman said Wednesday that Phil Hughes, out since May 1 with a hamstring injury, has a Grade 3 ankle sprain and will need 4-6 weeks of rehab time before he gets back on the mound.
This after the Yankees said last week that an MRI came back negative and he'd only be backed up a few days. No one should have counting on seeing Hughes back in pinstripes before the All-Star break anyway.

Chukars prepared to ruin Tyler Clippard's career beginning this week...


Will Carroll is guessing there won't be Brett Myers pitching until 2008...

But he's calling it a rumor.

Meanwhile, there might not be a Yankees until 2008. Has any team sucked quite so much relative to their expectations?

By the way, Carroll advised some poor idiot not to take Mauer and Garko for Ichiro and Orlando Hudson in a keeper league.

Maybe he wants to prove how much he knows about Mauer and is suggesting the poor boy is just injuries and sadness? That's what makes him a Cyclone.

who's hating free enterprise today?

Some buncha Che-loving bureaucrats I never heard of...

CHICAGO | An Internet-based payday loan firm has been ordered to stop issuing loans to Illinois residents and was fined more than $230,000 today by the Illinois Department of Financial and Professional Regulation for issuing a $300 payday loan with an interest rate of more than 2,000 percent. The order and fine were issued against Global Payday Loan, doing business as, which was ordered to cease operations in the state and pay $234,000 for charging Illinois customers excessive interest rates and violating the Payday Loan Reform Act.

This Should be Called the Bush Division

The records of the NL Central teams from May 10th through Monday:

Pittsburgh 8-10
St. Louis 6-10
Chicago 6-12
Houston 5-12
Cincinnati 5-13
Milwaukee 4-13

bring it on

MOSCOW -- Russia tested new missiles Tuesday that a Kremlin official boasted could penetrate any defense system...

Da Rezz might wanna check dat phokker's soul one more time...

tough times for plutocrats (cont'd)

Wednesday - afternoon shower or thunderstorm in spots
Thursday - variable clouds, a t-storm
Friday - cloudy, a t-storm possible
Saturday - thunderstorm possible
Sunday - a shower possible

How da phokk am I spose to schedule a goff game in dese condichens?

book-burning of the month club update

LAWRENCEVILLE, Ga. -- The adventures of boy wizard Harry Potter can stay in Gwinnett County school libraries, despite a mother's objections, a judge ruled Tuesday.

Laura Mallory, who argued the popular fiction series is an attempt to indoctrinate children in witchcraft, said she still wants the best-selling books removed and may take her case to federal court.

"I maybe need a whole new case from the ground up," Mallory said.

Or, maybe a whole new brain.

Shocking that this happened in Georgia.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Is America great or what?

That's some pig: Boy, 11, shoots 1,051 pound hog

"It feels really good," Jamison said. "It's a good accomplishment. I probably won't ever kill anything else that big."

Isn't that every boy's dream?

Shocking that this happened in Alabama.

i assume he's a HYOoOoOoOoOGE @$$#0|_E

Bush to name Zoellick to lead World Bank

annudder smart@ss Smiff

Lawyer's 'Happy Meal' comment eats at judge

A Chicago lawyer's comment to a bankruptcy judge in court has gotten him in some hot water, or perhaps more appropriately, hot oil (get it? ha -- good one...)

"I suggest with respect, Your Honor, that you're a few french fries short of a Happy Meal in terms of what's likely to take place," William Smiff, a partner with Chicago-based McDermott Will & Emery LLP, said during a hearing May 7 in front of Judge Laurel Myerson Isicoff, according to court documents.

Mr. Smiff's comment represents "conduct that appears to be inconsistent with the requirements of professional conduct," (in udder werds, @@@@SSSSS-H0000LE...) Judge Isicoff wrote in an order for Smiff to appear before her June 25 "to show cause why he should not be suspended from practice before this court..."

In a statement, McDermott Will & Emery said: "We expect our lawyers (SMIFF) to observe established rules and protocols of professional conduct in the courtroom..."

News headline: CTA chief describes options he didn't choose

Options not mentioned: Godzilla, napalm, making time move slower, putting k-mad in charge, a Black Hole sucking all matter into the Howard Red Line station (although this has already failed)...

It may be bad, but it could’ve been worse.

That’s the message Chicago Transit Authority President Ron Huberman sent Tuesday in describing alternative scenarios to his recommendation of fare hikes and service cuts in the face of a $97.5-million budget shortfall.

Last week, Mr. Huberman laid out his recommendation to raise peak fares to $3.25 a trip and cut service on 63 bus lines in the first week of September if legislators in Springfield don’t come through with the money. The recommendation also includes deferring $57 million in capital spending, which would primarily cover maintenance on the agency’s aging bus and rail fleets...

Tuesday at a CTA board meeting, Mr. Huberman detailed other scenarios the CTA considered before making that recommendation. One called for raising peak fares to $7 per ride. Another suspended all service on the Brown, Green, Orange, Pink, Purple and Yellow lines, plus 107 bus routes. If the CTA were to do nothing, it would have to suspend all service and lay off its nearly 11,000 employees in October, Mr. Huberman said...

don't got none of dis eeder

At least i hope not...

Virulent bacteria hits poor
Dangerous, drug-resistant bacteria are spreading rapidly in Chicago's urban neighborhoods.

chillin' in SoCal

Chicago: 86, sweaty
San Diego: 63, bliss

i'm going to wait until the lines get shorter

Over 4000 at Creation Museum first day

Here's the target audience:

Twenty-eight percent of American college seniors think the American Revolution was won at the Battle of Gettysburg.

today's QT yesterday

Someone's seen a little too much 'Jurassic Park'

May 29, 2007
BY ZAY N. SMITH Sun-Times Columnist

Ken Ham, founder of Kentucky's new Creation Museum, which includes depictions of humans and dinosaurs living together on a planet created 6,000 years ago:
"Everyone has to defend their position in a way that is logical and scientific."

And for anyone who doubts creationist scientists: Their work is peer-reviewed by both Fred and Wilma.

Monday, May 28, 2007

Bullpen of Horrors (cont'd)

C Orvella relieved E Jackson.
C Monroe homered to center.
G Sheffield walked.
G Sheffield stole second.
G Sheffield to third on balk by C Orvella.
M Ordonez singled to left, G Sheffield scored.
B Stokes relieved C Orvella.

I could try to blame Smiff...

Joakim Soria (shoulder) is scheduled to undergo an MRI Tuesday.

Soria was placed on the disabled list Saturday, but manager Buddy Bell said Sunday that the Royals "don’t think it’s that serious." "We will know more on Wednesday," Bell said

How long before this happens to Halladay?

"Splinching, or the separation of random body parts, occurs when the mind is insufficiently determined."

-- Wilkie Twycross, in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

can Cholly count?

- J. Rollins doubled to left
- S. Victorino sacrificed to third, J. Rollins to third

Any idea why you would be sacrificing down 2-0 in the 1st inning? Is dis a Yahoo screwup or is Cholly dis stupid? or both? bad squirrel again?

Cubs reach new level of awfulness

In the 5-3 loss today, they were shutout for 6 innings by B.H. Kim.

he's no Wiggy (not awful enough)

The Chukar Cherry bench is getting mighty thin. Come to think of it, so is the starting rotation (Ohka, Batista...ugh). You know who's to blame here.

Devil Rays optioned outfielder-designated hitter Jonny Gomes to Triple-A Durham.
Rays manager Joe Maddon makes it pretty obvious who his favorites are, and it was clear he was down on Gomes even before the regular season started. Given the chance, Gomes would at least match Ty Wigginton's .244 average and .446 slugging percentage while besting his .277 OBP by 50 points or more. However, one of those two has spent the season as the regular cleanup hitter, while the other had started 14 times in 48 games. Gomes needs a chance to move on.

I hate Kyle Loshe. HATE.

So after he TOTALLY SUCKED for the last month in the Monk rotation, i finally took him out. Didn't even list on the lineup anywhere. Of course, today he throws a shutout. What an @SS. This also means that David Wells will be lit up this week.

how shall we insult the troops?

* Bush photo-op trying to look like he gives a s#i+
* Plutocrats golfing
* Crackers driving around in circles really fast, burning fuel
* John Wayne playing war on TV

a lot of fancy talk which means:

Sam Perlozzo is an idiot.

Baseball conditionals

"We just needed one fly ball or a base hit with the bases loaded, and we've got a different ballgame," Perlozzo said.

did he piss on their graves?

Bush pays tribute to troops at Arlington

In a related outrage...

News Item: President Bush proclaims May 28 as Memorial Day, calling for Americans to "pause with solemn gratitude and deep respect for all our fallen service men and women who have given their lives for our country and our freedom."
News Item: Plans revealed to cut veterans' health benefits starting in two years in an effort to maintain tax cuts and balance the budget.

Sunday, May 27, 2007

how bad ya gotta be to be replaced by Todd Wellemeyer?

K-Mad bad...

Cardinals optioned RHP Anthony Reyes to Triple-A Memphis.
Todd Wellemeyer will take his rotation spot.

Lost on Jeopardy

A: "A Bizarre Finish"

Q: How did the Cubs lose again today?

Funny Stuff

- A. Ethier hit for A. LaRoche
- S. Eyre relieved M. Wuertz
- A. Ethier homered to deep right
- N. Garciaparra hit for B. Clark
- B. Howry relieved S. Eyre

Also funny: Brenley and dat udder guy rationalizing why Cliff Floyd can't bunt.

Gotta love the Cubs' broadcasts.

I see they are still featuring the "babes in the stands" montages. That's classy. And when the team usually stinks, like this year, you have to feature something to keep da fanz interested.

When Idiot Analysts Attack

I caught a little bit of the Padres game last night and after the game two of the featured talking heads were: Mark Grant and Bob Scanlan. Couldn't hear the brilliant things they were saying, but they had plenty of experience in How-NOT-To Pitch they could draw from.

When Idiot Managers Attack

My nominee for the worst manager in baseball: Jim Tracy in Pittsburgh. Somehow, with all the lousy bats the Pirates have he manages to bat Jason Bay, their best hitter by far, usually 5th in the lineup. Jim, you want your best hitter up in the 1st inning, hopefully with at least one runner on base. Today, he had Jose Bautista (awful), Chris Duffy (awful), Freddy Sanchez and Andy LaRoche (.199 BA) coming up before Bay. Also, when he manages to get Ryan Doumit in the lineup (.954 OPS, best on the club), he usually hits 6th. No wonder the Pirates never get any better. Oh yeah, am i shocked that Tracy is from Ohio and played for the Cubs?

Smiff is outraged.

Rank Team Points Pts Change
1. Columbus Bureaucrats 199.5 4.5
2. Lord Viper Elefantes 198.5 -1.5

k-mad scours da Trib headlines so you don't have to

Cicadas on the march
Chicago Gardener: They're here!

My phokkkking @@sss... I hear nuttin, I see nuttin...

Vote: Which Sox reliever scares you?
How many votes do I get?

Dikka's retort: Gene Upshaw a fraud
Iz dat da teacup calling da teakettle a tea receptacle, or what?

Acting weird? That's so Piniella
Is Smiff writing dese?

Phil Rogers: Baseball's other black eye
Drool Cup? A hack maybe, but a black eye on baseball? Well, maybe...

Vote: Which Cubs reliever scares you?
How many votes do Sarge and Corms get?

Clemens' return may come at Cell
Road trip? 'Boo til ya Spew' Nite at da Cell?

Worker dies at Tribune facility
Police say the man was caught in a conveyor. Video

Dey show video of dere own workers being eaten by dere machines? How Monty Burns can you get?

Flooding, lightning hit suburbs
Strong storms lead to two fires and flooding.

My phokkking @@@ssss... I saw nuttin, I heard nuttin...

Hey Decker - Smart Guy - CRAM IT!

Adam Eaton: FIVE wins.