Saturday, June 21, 2008

the non-apology apology (cont'd)

NEW YORK (AP)—NBC Sports golf analyst and idiot, brain-dead moron Johnny Miller apologized for his description of U.S. Open runner-up Rocco Mediate, saying the comments had “absolutely nothing to do with his ethnicity.” Mediate, a 45-year-old Pennsylvanian of Italian heritage, held a one-stroke lead over Tiger Woods during the fourth round Sunday. Miller said Mediate “looks like the guy who cleans Tiger’s swimming pool.” He also said, “Guys with the name ‘Rocco’ don’t get on the trophy, do they?”

“I apologize to anyone who was offended by my remarks,” Miller said in a statement Friday through NBC. “My intention was to convey my affection and admiration for Rocco’s everyman qualities and had absolutely nothing to do with his ethnicity. I chose my words poorly and in the future will be more careful.” Woods beat Mediate in a playoff that lasted 19 holes for his third U.S. Open title.

With praying having solved all of the world's problems, why the hell not?

Choir director in Ohio to pray for cheaper gas
June 20, 2008 10:53 EDT

TOLEDO, Ohio (AP) -- Rocky Twyman would disagree with anyone who thinks consumers don't have a prayer against high gasoline prices. The choir director from the Washington, D.C., area has come to Toledo with what he calls his "Pray at the Pump Movement." Twyman says politicans have been unable to do anything about rising fuel costs, so it's time to ask God to intervene and lower prices.

He planned to lead pray-ins Friday at two local service stations, followed by a 12-hour prayer vigil at Toledo First Seventh-day Adventist Church. Church Pastor Mike Fortune read about Twyman and invited him to come to town. Twyman also has led campaigns to nominate Oprah Winfrey for the Nobel Peace Prize and to encourage African Americans to donate bone marrow

Friday, June 20, 2008

there is probably an interesting story behind that

McCain, however, appears to be less interested in speaking to the millions of Clinton voters who fall somewhere between the cracks, and more interested in engaging the handful of crazies who dislike Barack Obama for wholly irrational reasons. Take Will Bower, the founder of a group called PUMA ("Party Unity My Ass"). On Saturday, Bower met with John McCain. On Wednesday, Bower attended Larry Sinclair's press conference, saw Sinclair literally accuse Obama of murder, saw Sinclair's lawyer wearing a kilt, saw Sinclair flee the room after the press conference because he was moments away from being arrested, and came away saying that Sinclair's story was "worth exploring". That means that McCain is either one or two degrees removed from the lunatic fringe, depending on what you think of Bower's state of mind.

That's Croatian "football"?

What a choke job. They SUCK. It looked the entire team was going to commit suicide afterwards. Is there crying in "football"?

[insert famous Croatian person's] phokking @ss.

look who's hating America tonight

Tonight on KO: In the discussion on FISA, Nancy Pelosi is sounding like Bush, and John Dean is sounding like Kucinich.

I really want one, but I can't figure out how the phokk to order it

Lapping for present (red check)

* Please be sure to appoint the object commodity of the lapping with the remarks column when ordering. When there was no entry, for verifying there are times when time is required to dispatch. * It becomes 1 commodities concerning 1 lapping. Because we cannot receive the bundle packing of the plural commodities with the difference of size, please acknowledge.

* Issue of territory acquisition
There is “an issue column of territory acquisition” when ordering. In case of territory acquisition desire “territory acquisition please select issue”.

Why you wish you were in Europe

The only sad thing was, the Austrian team won.

Does Fung got one?

This heat which continues still. Especially, because the white-collar worker has done the necktie, the wind being difficult to enter in the body, all the more it is hot, it is, don't you think?.

Such a time, just a little it is introduction of the cool item. Because the USB necktie cooler, when you connect with USB of the personal computer, the fan of built-in turning, sends the air facing toward the neck origin, it makes cool slightly, it is.

Now, pass also while working to be cool the [chi] [ya] it is comfortably!

The air conditioner being effective, because the [ru] room, with consequence of the necktie, the air does not go in the shirt, this season which very does not become cool. If such a time, the USB necktie cooler is used, because mandatorily the air is sent facing toward the neck origin, also the body which becomes hot instantaneously cool down!! As a present of the father, how probably will be?


Bot 9th: Chi Cubs
- S. Phokkface @ssbag Linebrink relieved M. Thornton
- A. Ramirez homered to deep center

Woops (cont)

With Apologies if ur tivoing...

Chicago - Bottom of 7th

Octavio Dotel pitching for Chicago
O Dotel relieved J Danks.
D Lee homered to right.
A Ramirez homered to left center.

After Danks had been mowin em down too...

i couldn't let this go w/o posting it...

CHICAGO—Still fuming after his team blew a late-inning lead in a loss to the Rays Sunday, White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen filled out Tuesday night's lineup card with a series of expletives, insults, and personal attacks on his players. The lineup card, posted in the dugout at approximately 6 p.m., referred to the team as the "Chicago Shit Sox," and read in part, "1. Orlando Fucking Cabrera, 2. Goddamn Motherfucking Neckless Bastard A.J. Shitbag Pierzynski DUMB!!! FUCK!!!, 3. Jermaine Fucking Gonna Dye Fucking Shit 0-For-5 Shitfuck Fuck Fucking Fucknuts Asshole Just Try Me Motherfucker." Guillen also announced that Nick Shitlicker [Swisher] would be starting in centerfield and Jim Thome would be the "designated fuckface." Upon noticing that "Cocksucking Assbag Motherfucking Shitfucking Numbnuts Fuckhole" was penciled into the No. 4 spot, Paul Konerko expressed delight that he was batting cleanup.

Maybe Bevington is next...

Cito Gaston named manager of Toronto... perhaps they should have kept Big Frank and let go John Gibbons go earlier.

Swearing chef prompts tighter #*@%& rules

CANBERRA (Reuters) - Foul-mouthed British chef Gordon Ramsay prompted Australia's parliament Thursday to push for tighter rules to protect viewers from swearing on television.

Ramsay's programs are ratings winners on free-to-air television in Australia, but prompted outrage earlier this year when one episode featured the volatile chef using a four-letter expletive more than 80 times in 40 minutes.

If the Bears need a QB


What am I thinking?

Seems Henry Burris is still out there, tearing up the CFL. Perhaps he's "matured" into a great QB.

on the plus side, it will make it easier to drill for oil up there

News item: Arctic sea ice is melting even faster than last year, despite a cold winter.

More Crass

I mean Kass...

John Kass: Do Sox or Cubs have fatter fans?

Lessee, K-Mad & Fung vs Sarge & Corms. Hmm...

A Shocking number of Chicago Sports Fans don't know what the phokk they're talking about (cont)

What happens in the Cubs-Sox series this weekend?

Cubs sweep (553 responses) 15.7%

Sox sweep (674 responses) 19.1%

Sox win two (1226 responses) 34.8%

Cubs win two (1073 responses) 30.4%

3526 total responses (Results not scientific, but idiotic)

Clearly, since this poll was conducted by the World's Awfulest Newspaper (tie), there's some skewage. Da Sox should be waaaaaay ahead in dis poll...

offered without comment

Furious Ozzie Guillen's Lineup Card Full Of Expletives

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Mike Myers now officially old

The NYT's A. O. Scott delivers the smackdown:

["Less amusing than it should be"] might sum up “The Love Guru” in its entirety but only at the risk of grievously understating the movie’s awfulness. A whole new vocabulary seems to be required. To say that the movie is not funny is merely to affirm the obvious. The word “unfunny” surely applies to Mr. Myers’s obnoxious attempts to find mirth in physical and cultural differences but does not quite capture the strenuous unpleasantness of his performance. No, “The Love Guru” is downright antifunny, an experience that makes you wonder if you will ever laugh again.

And this is, come to think of it, something of an achievement.

a shocking percentage of Lou Dobbs viewers have lapsed into a Lou Dobbs-viewing-induced coma (cont'd)

Do you believe the FDA already knows or suspects the source of the salmonella outbreak in tomatoes but is purposely keeping it from the public?

Yes 95%
No 5%
Poll results not scientific (but bat-shit crazy)

$h!tcag0 C**** go woops

Bottom 7th: Tampa Bay
- C. Marmol relieved S. Gallagher
- W. Aybar walked
- D. Navarro walked, W. Aybar to second
- G. Gross hit by pitch, W. Aybar to third, D. Navarro to second
- A. Iwamura hit by pitch, W. Aybar scored, D. Navarro to third, G. Gross to second
- S. Eyre relieved C. Marmol
- C. Crawford homered to deep right, G. Gross, D. Navarro and A. Iwamura scored
- B.J. Upton tripled to deep center
- E. Hinske doubled to deep right, B.J. Upton scored
- E. Hinske stole third
- E. Longoria hit sacrifice fly to left, E. Hinske scored
- C. Floyd doubled to deep left
- J. Lieber relieved S. Eyre
- W. Aybar grounded out to first, C. Floyd to third
- D. Navarro lined out to left

7 runs, 4 hits, 0 errors
Chi Cubs 3, Tampa Bay 8

Winning Hearts and Minds! (WHAM!) (cont'd!), or, it's just that perception thingy again

Exams Back Up Reports of Detainee Abuse, Group Says

The first extensive medical examinations of former detainees in U.S. military jails offer corroboration for prisoners' claims of physical and psychological abuse at the hands of their American captors, a Boston-based human rights group said in a report released yesterday.

The assessments of 11 men formerly held in U.S. detention camps overseas revealed scars and other injuries consistent with their accounts of beatings, electric shocks, shackling and, in at least one case, sodomy, according to the report by Physicians for Human Rights. Most also had symptoms of long-term psychological damage, including post-traumatic stress disorder, the group said.

The evaluations backed up the men's stories of physical and sexual assault and documented psychological damage that had left many of them severely impaired, the report said. For example, exams and X-rays of one of the former detainees showed scars and joint injuries that supported his description of being suspended for hours by his arms at the Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq.

All 11 men were eventually released from custody without being charged with crimes.

In a statement accompanying the report, retired Maj. Gen. Antonio M. Taguba, who led the Army's first official investigation on Abu Ghraib, said the new evidence suggested a "systematic regime of torture" inside U.S.-run detention camps.

CIA Played Larger Role In Advising Pentagon

Torture "is basically subject to perception," CIA counterterrorism lawyer Jonathan Fredman told a group of military and intelligence officials gathered at the U.S.-run detention camp in Cuba on Oct. 2, 2002, according to minutes of the meeting. "If the detainee dies, you're doing it wrong." (Ha! Good one! He's here all week! -- Ed.)

General who probed Abu Ghraib says Bush officials committed war crimes

WASHINGTON — The Army general who led the investigation into prisoner abuse at Iraq's Abu Ghraib prison accused the Bush administration Wednesday of committing "war crimes" and called for those responsible to be held to account.

The doctors and experts determined that the men had been subject to cruelties that ranged from isolation, sleep deprivation and hooding to electric shocks, beating and, in one case, being forced to drink urine.

Bush has said repeatedly that the United States doesn't condone torture.

Kass: When Chicago politicians ban guns, only Chicago politicians (and criminals) will have guns

Criminals are often poor people who are led away in chains and go to state prison, for decades or lifetimes, for using guns as weapons against taxpayers. Politicians wear nice suits, drive luxury cars, and when they go to prison—federal prison, and only for a few months—they go away for using government as a weapon against taxpayers.

Criminals get guns the old fashioned way, by stealing them or buying them illegally. Politicians write the anti-gun laws, and wonder of wonders, they often exempt themselves and call themselves peace officers.

In Chicago, our politicians often go around surrounded by armed bodyguards on the city payroll. Or they walk our streets strapped. Or they know a guy who knows a guy in some suburb, and they become deputized peace officers so they can carry.


mission accomplished for these plutocrats on this gravy train who are accomplishing their mission

Deals With Iraq Are Set to Bring Oil Giants Back

BAGHDAD — Four Western oil companies are in the final stages of negotiations this month on contracts that will return them to Iraq, 36 years after losing their oil concession to nationalization as Saddam Hussein rose to power.

Exxon Mobil, Shell, Total and BP — the original partners in the Iraq Petroleum Company — along with Chevron and a number of smaller oil companies, are in talks with Iraq’s Oil Ministry for no-bid contracts to service Iraq’s largest fields, according to ministry officials, oil company officials and an American diplomat.

The deals, expected to be announced on June 30, will lay the foundation for the first commercial work for the major companies in Iraq since the American invasion, and open a new and potentially lucrative country for their operations.

The no-bid contracts are unusual for the industry, and the offers prevailed over others by more than 40 companies, including companies in Russia, China and India...

Night of the Return of Former Chicago Managers

Jim Riggleman named interim manager for Seattle.

Meanwhile, Jerry Manuel has gone gangsta in New York:

Explaining what happened when Jose Reyes put up a fight when asked to leave Tuesday's game with a hamstring injury, manager Jerry Manuel joked: "I told him next time he does that I'm going to get my blade out and cut him. I'm a gangster. You go gangster on me, I'm going to have to get you. You do that again, I'm going to cut you right on the field."

it was just a presentation error, so any fullas#i+ness you might have detected was probably a misperception on your part


"I don't think that administration officials purposely overstated [the threat of Iraq]. I do think there were errors made in the presentation."
-- Iraq war architect Doug Feith, 6/18/08


"A long-delayed Senate report...has concluded that President Bush and his aides built the public case for war against Iraq by exaggerating available intelligence and by ignoring disagreements among spy agencies."
-- New York Times, 6/5/08, on a Senate Intelligence Committee report

well, that was a long time ago... it's hard enough to remember what he had for breakfast

June 18, 2008: Off-shore drilling, McCain said today, is "safe enough these days that not even hurricanes Katrina and Rita could cause significant spillage from the battered rigs off the coasts of New Orleans and Houston," referring to the devastating Category 5 storms of 2005.

Sept. 19, 2005: More than 500 specialists are working to clean up 44 oil spills ranging from several hundred gallons to nearly 4 million gallons, the U.S. Coast Guard said in an assessment that goes far beyond initial reports of just two significant spills.

The report comes nearly three weeks after Hurricane Katrina devastated the Gulf Coast, and reflects the fact that the Coast Guard and other agencies are able to only now tackle environmental problems since the search and rescue effort is winding down.

The Coast Guard estimates more than 7 million gallons of oil were spilled from industrial plants, storage depots and other facilities around southeast Louisiana.

That is about two-thirds as much oil as spilled from the Exxon Valdez tanker in 1989.

$h!tcag0 C****? That's the best he can come up with?

The fans of a baseball team in a city about 300 miles southwest of Chicago like to proclaim themselves the best baseball fans in the world. They aren't, but their delusions of grandeur tend to lead to a paranoid schizophrenia type condition. This one is unhinged even by inbred redneck hillbilly standards.

No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no

Rotoworld is the messenger:

The Cubs confirmed that Carlos Zambrano left Wednesday's game with shoulder discomfort. He'll be examined on Thursday.

Zambrano wanted to continue to pitching, but he did indicate that shoulder was bothering him in the dugout after departing in the seventh. If the Cubs are forced to put him on the disabled list, they could put Jon Lieber back into the rotation. Neither Sean Marshall nor Rich Hill would seem to be an option right now. Jun. 18 - 11:32 pm et

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

what's a little s#i+ blowing up between friends?

Obama and the war

Before Barack Obama can get his presidential hands on the Iraq War, it might end, not in disaster as he figures, but in an American victory. (YAY! -- Ed.)

He, his fans and much of the media haven't noticed in the heat of the presidential campaign, but the war is winding down, if not nearing its end. Fewer military and civilians killed or wounded; fewer insurgent attacks; more order and security, especially in such troubled areas as Basra and Sadr City; more reconciliation; improved quality of life, and—-not the least—-greater liberties.

Still, Obama's perspective remains unchanged. There's no accommodation to changed circumstances, only his iron-willed pandering to anti-war voters. As of this writing, his blah blah blah blah....

News item: At Least 51 Are Killed in Blast at Baghdad Market

you know you got a great blog when... feature the greatest band of all times...

C&L’s Late Night Music Club with King Crimson

21st Century Schizoid Man

Cat's foot iron claw
Neuro-surgeons scream for more
At paranoia's poison door.
Twenty first century schizoid man.

Blood rack barbed wire
Polititians' funeral pyre
Innocents raped with napalm fire
Twenty first century schizoid man.

Death seed blind man's greed
Poets' starving children bleed
Nothing he's got he really needs
Twenty first century schizoid man.

Originally written for Spiro Agnew - since it's now the 21st century, it's a spot on Dick Cheney.

K-Mad, run, don't walk to reacquire Zito

The San Francisco Chronicle reports that the Giants may bring in recently fired Mets pitching coach Rick Peterson to work with Barry Zito. Not only was Peterson the pitching coach in Oakland when Zito was at his best, he worked with Zito as far back as high school. According to the newspaper, Peterson could be hired as a special instructor, working under pitching coach Dave Righetti.

Also, "The Genius" did wonders for Victor Zambrano and the Mets won all those World Series titles while he was there because of their pitching...

We are living in a golden age (cont)

John Kass
You know your pets really want to get married, right?

Turns out the pet marriage community isn't as tolerant as some might think. Dogs may marry other dogs, but human pet clerics frown on cross-species marriage.

"You must consider what's in their DNA first," Scott said. "It is the DNA that drives them. I have several friends who have cougars. They love their cougars. Their cougars love them. But they wouldn't turn their backs on their cougars or they'd be prey. You must respect the DNA."

If we're this phokked up, what can we expect from our politicians?

finally, some good news (for K-Mad)

Hands-On Japan's Sega Robot Chicken

finally, some good news (for Smiff, Fung)

Japan makes robot girlfriend for lonely men
Tue Jun 17, 2008 1:43pm BST
TOKYO (Reuters) - She is big-busted, petite, very friendly, and she runs on batteries.

A Japanese firm has produced a 38 cm (15 inch) tall robotic girlfriend that kisses on command, to go on sale in September for around $175, with a target market of lonely adult men.

Using her infrared sensors and battery power, the diminutive damsel named "EMA" puckers up for nearby human heads, entering what designers call its "love mode".

"Strong, tough and battle-ready are some of the words often associated with robots, but we wanted to break that stereotype and provide a robot that's sweet and interactive," said Minako Sakanoue, a spokeswoman for the maker, Sega Toys.

"She's very lovable and though she's not a human, she can act like a real girlfriend."

EMA, which stands for Eternal Maiden Actualization, can also hand out business cards, sing and dance, with Sega hoping to sell 10,000 in the first year.

Japan, home to almost half the world's 800,000 industrial robots, envisions a $10-billion market for artificial intelligence in a decade.

Puts Powerball to shame

LATEST! Lottery Numbers
The winning Lottery numbers for the 14th of June 2008 are:
Bonus ball number : 36
4 10 34 35 37 47
6 Correct Numbers - No winning entry.
Next jackpot is estimated @ ZW$40 trillion

Whitey's turn to shine

Sour Grape News: Goosen says Tiger was Faking it.
Breaking News: Tiger to miss the rest of the season.

Chinese: The New Black

Chinese South Africans now black

It's all about the Oil

Bush calls for offshore drilling

Wait, didn't we invade Iraq so we could get oil over there? So we wouldn't have to get oil over here? Is this a tacit admission of failure?

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Jon Stewart: "The Mets suck."

even Mr. Burns is wid da tarrists

An odd day of polling, but one attention-grabbing result dominates the rest. That is from Ohio, where Public Policy Polling has Barack Obama ahead by 11 points. While Public Policy Polling developed a reputation as being somewhat Obama-friendly in the primaries, its track record is fairly strong, and its prior Ohio poll -- taken way back in March -- had shown McCain ahead by 8 points. As Ohio is probably the single most important state in this election (it's by no means the only important state, but it's pretty darned important), this result is enough to drive Obama past the 67 percent threshold in our overall electoral projection; we presently have him as about a 2:1 favorite to win the election.

If Richard Clarke were VP this wouldn't be happening, or, stick your head between your legs and kiss your @ss goodbye (cont'd)

The Pakistanis are our very good friends and allies (see also: Earf blowing up), espatially, da rezzziDUNCE's boy, Pervez "Pervy" Musharraf...

Nuclear Ring Reportedly Had Advanced Design

WASHINGTON — American and international investigators say that they have found the electronic blueprints for an advanced nuclear weapon on computers that belonged to the nuclear smuggling network run by Abdul Qadeer Khan, the rogue Pakistani nuclear scientist, but that they have not been able to determine whether they were sold to Iran or the smuggling ring’s other customers...

But the latest design found on Khan network computers in Switzerland, Bangkok and several other cities around the world is half the size and twice the power of the Chinese weapon, with far more modern electronics, the investigators say. The design is in electronic form, they said, making it easy to copy — and they have no idea how many copies of it are now in circulation (YAY!... Ed.)

Google: LoC #1 site for "phokks"

Also #1 for "phokk", but only #3 for "phokking". Go phigure...

"scheduling conflicts" = we're not making scads of money on this, so why bother...

MLB sends another "Phokk You" to the fans. Bud Selig is a "traditionalist" like John McCain is a "maverick."

COOPERSTOWN, N.Y. — The National Baseball Hall of Fame, the village of Cooperstown and the local chamber of commerce did their best to put on a memorable show for the 69th and final Hall of Fame Game, but the temperamental weather of Central New York did not cooperate. A series of rain showers and heavy thunderstorms drenched the playing field at Doubleday Field and ultimately washed out the finale, scheduled to be played by the Chicago Cubs and San Diego Padres, before a single pitch could even be thrown. At 2:37 p.m., more than a half hour after the scheduled game time of 2:00, Hall of Fame manager of museum programming Amanda Pinney announced that "today's game has been canceled" and that full refunds would be given to each of the 9,571 fans in attendance. The rainout brings an official end to the Hall of Fame Game, which was first played in 1940 by the Cubs and the Boston Red Sox, but was to end this year due to conflicts created by the Major League Baseball schedule.

Cuomo '82: OF TO WE

Jon Stewart examines the media’s affinity for smearing Obama

Jon Stewart takes an in-depth look at the phenomenon known as Baracknophobia, defined as the “irrational fear of hope.”

“The Irrational fear that behind the mild-mannered persona, Barack Obama is intent on enslaving the white race. It’s true. Wake up, white people.”

Which attempt at smearing Obama is your favorite? Mine is a close tie between Sean Hannity calling Obama a “radical liberal,” and Steve Doocy claiming Obama plagiarized a speech from Mario Cuomo, despite only three words being the same.

Steve Doocy: possibly the most brain-dead man alive (non-Bush division).

And i don't care what anybody says, she did to:

Obama campaign: Wife never used the word 'Whitey'

Of course, this wouldn't be a problem from a certain bitter someone here (Fung).

Unclear on the concept (cont)

Steinbrenner: NL responsible for Wang injury

"My only message is simple: The National League needs to join the 21st century," Steinbrenner said. "They need to grow up and join the 21st century. I've got my pitchers running the bases, and one of them gets hurt. He's going to be out. I don't like that, and it's about time they address it. That was a rule from the 1800s."

The apple don't fall far away from the tree now do it?

"Friendship" amongst the journopolitical class

Watching "Meet the Press" this week on the life of Tim Russert, I was struck by how Russert's colleagues thought his basic decency was a subject for high praise. In particular they appear wildly impressed that he knew the definition of the English word "friend". Here are two examples (of several possible).

Mary Matalin: He never, and that's not always across the board in this town [Washington], he never left anybody. He stood up for his friends, and it wasn't just that we just loved him, he loved his friends and took care of them. And unlike most of this town, which is transactional, you weren't just his friend when you were in. If you were out of office, he still called you, and he still was...he was just loved because he was such a lover of people and his friends.

Mike Barnicle: He had that reservoir of loyalty that so few people have, and I would think especially in this city, where I don't live, but I've always likened it to what I call "elevator loyalty", that you and I are going from the sixth floor to the first floor, and I'm your friend, I'm very loyal, we get out, you go that way, I go that way, and I'm killing you half a block away. Tim was loyal. He was loyal. You were his friend -- he admired you or he liked you or whatever -- he would remain loyal to you, through thick and thin.

The above examples can be seen starting 6:15 into this clip:

Gandhi is back

Apparently, Omar Minaya feels that what the Mets need is someone even less fiery than Willie Randolph. Someone wake Jerry and tell him he's manager, would ya?

Mets fired manager Willie Randolph, pitching coach Rick Peterson and first-base coach Tom Nieto. A bizarre ending to what's turned into quite an embarrassment for the franchise. Randolph's tactics left a lot to be desired and the Mets may well be better off without him, but he didn't deserve to be treated this way over the last several weeks. The rumor all day was that Peterson and Nieto were out, but it appeared that Randolph would get another reprieve. Then the Mets make this announcement in the middle of the night after a victory. Former White Sox manager Jerry Manuel will take over for Randolph on an interim basis. As overmatched as he was in Chicago, it looks like a downgrade.

Also, Rick "The Genius" Peterson can be reunited with Victor Zambrano, currently sporting a 9.45 ERA at Colorado Springs, and continue to "straighten him out."

Yurp: wid da tarrists (cont'd)

'Yurp' Says Auf Wiedersehen to Dubya
'Bush Damaged America's Image Around the World'

German politicians from both the ruling coalition and the opposition are taking aim at outgoing US President George W. Bush ahead of his week-long farewell trip to Europe. The Iraq war, Guantanamo and Abu Ghraib have damaged America's reputation, they say.

Germans would like to have a beer with Barack

Crazy About Barack
Obamamania Infects Germany
By Ralf Beste

Berlin political circles -- both liberal and conservative -- are fawning over US presidential candidate Barack Obama. Many in Germany see him as a cross between John F. Kennedy and Martin Luther King, Jr., but expectations may be exaggerated.

Golden age livers, we are (cont)

Vanity plates seen by the Fungster while waiting for the bus this morning:

SOLDOUT - yes you did, buddy.
CHOWDAH - say it Frenchie!
TOYRIDE - it did indeed look like a large toy car

Den, on da bus, he sees some guy with reading glasses in front of sunglasses. Classy!

When is Lou Dobbs gonna get on dis one?

Indians top US spelling contests

How will John Hagee spin this one?

News item: Midwest Flood Recovery Likely to Be Slow
Delays in letting people back into their homes are spawning anger and frustration in many quarters

Monday, June 16, 2008

FISK Hunter Division fun fact

The last place team has a better run differential than the first place team.

Speaking of Detroit...

...Fung had the job of watching the truck while Corporal and Ranger brought the stuff down to the truck this weekend for the doc's big move to our nations capital. We wondered whether I'd be exotic enuff to make people cross the street. Quite the opposite. A buncha whiteys (and a darkie) drove up to the truck and stopped. They came out all excited. Why? The truck that Corporal rented had graffiti on the sides and back. And apparently this graffiti was way better than anything from Michigan, where they hailed from. Really? Mebbe they understood what it actually said. I didn't.

Freudian Slip?

Seen on MSNBC ticker: Gore to endorse Obama in Detriot, MI.

how will the worry wort 'end times' crowd spin this one?

Bees Outnumber Birds and Mammals

There are more species of bees buzzing around the globe than there are species of mammals and birds combined, a new census shows.

Someone better alert the authorities!

Tiger is down by a shot with three holes to someone named Rocco!

There could be city-wide hysteria, people fainting, dogs and cats living together...

How is K-Mad to blame? (cont'd)

I know he doesn't have Whiplash Wang but, I mean, these certainly sound like K-Mad-like words here: Lisfranc...tear...peroneal...longus...boot..."best case scenario."

Chien-Ming Wang could miss the rest of the season after suffering a mid-foot sprain of the Lisfranc ligament of the right foot and a partial tear of the peroneal longus tendon of the right foot. He won't need surgery, but he'll be on crutches and wearing a protective boot for at least six weeks. The Journal News speculates that even if he's fully healthy at that point, it would take four weeks for him to return to pitching shape, making a late August return the best case scenario. Get ready for even more C.C. Sabathia to New York rumors.

Take this @ssh@le--please

Asked Sunday about his statement that he'd welcome a trade to the Cubs, A.J. Burnett said, "I don't really care about how the fans take it." Burnett can opt out of his contract at the end of this season. "Who wouldn't want to play for the Cubs?" Burnett said. "As of right now, I'm a Blue Jay and I'm going to pitch to the best of my ability as long as I'm part of this club, but if something were to happen and I'd have the opportunity to go to a place where baseball is breakfast, lunch, and dinner, that would be awesome. Right now, my focus is with the club, but if something like that were to happen, I'd accept it with open arms."

I don't think anyone anticipated a long-term military presence with complete impunity and lots of s#i+ blowing up...

U.S. Military Hoped for Virtually Unlimited Freedom of Action in Iraq
Drafting of U.S.-Iraq Security Agreement Began Nearly Five Years Ago

Washington D.C., June 13, 2008 - Recently declassified documents show that the U.S. military has long sought an agreement with Baghdad that gives American forces virtually unfettered freedom of action, casting into doubt the Bush administration's current claims that their demands are more limited in scope. News reports have indicated that the Bush administration is exerting pressure on the government of Prime Minister Nuri al-Maliki to accept a U.S.-Iraq security plan by the end of July 2008. According to these accounts, the plan would give the U.S. more than 50 military bases in Iraq, provide complete freedom of action to conduct military operations, allow complete freedom to arrest and detain Iraqis, and grant U.S. forces and contractors total immunity from Iraqi law. Growing awareness of the implications of the pact have fueled opposition by the Iraqi public – to the extent that Prime Minister al-Maliki announced today that discussions had deadlocked.

architect who designed NU library dies of confusion

Walter A. Netsch Jr., the maverick, strong-willed Chicago architect whose geometrically complex buildings, including the University of Illinois at Chicago campus and the U.S. Air Force Academy chapel in Colorado, departed from glass-box orthodoxy and both delighted and frustrated their users, died Sunday at his home in Chicago.

Whitey still dont gettit

Obama sock puppet called racist
West Jordan company says it is a 'cute and cuddly toy'
However, in a statement released to various outlets, the creators of The Sock Obama said they were "saddened that some individuals have chosen to misinterpret our plush toy."
The day this puppet doesn't cause anyone to bat an eyelid is the day that racism is officially over...

this is probably nothing to worry about

News headline: More churchgoers are carrying guns

adding lethal injury to injury

News item: MADISON, Wis. - The Federal Emergency Management Agency's first Disaster Recovery Center will open Monday in Reedsburg, with others in affected counties soon to follow.

Da Mare: ix-nay on da ee-haw-hay

"I didn't twist any arms. No horse-trading. No hee-haw."

-- Mayor Richard Daley, on the 33-16 City Council vote to approve a new Chicago Chilluns' Museum in Grant Park

Sunday, June 15, 2008

All I could think of during the R Kelly trial was...

wheelchair time

May 22 - Mets placed outfielder Moises Alou on the 15-day disabled list with a strained left calf.
June 13 - Mets placed outfielder Moises Alou on the 15-day disabled list with a strained left calf.

Remember, these things happen in threes.

Tiger choking in a golf tournament?

Or just lulling whitey into a false sense of security?