I'm not a witch!

Bill Maher just dressed me up as one!

Shocking (cont)

Palin names daughter after ESPN HQ town?

What was even more shocking is that there are kids out there named ESPN. At least Bristol, no matter the motivation, is a real name. Whenever we think she's gone totally overboard, it turns out there are people crazier than she. Which is phokking scary.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz(cont)

Palin Wants to Write a Book

The Hollywood Reporter says Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin (R) as apparently enlisted the help of Washington attorney Robert Barnett to sell a book proposal. Barnett has previously brokered book deals for President Barack Obama, former President Bill Clinton and Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton. And he's already handling Obama campaign manager David Plouffe's book about the the 2008 campaign.

Is she still here?

Palin says she'd be honored to help Obama
Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin told CNN today that she would be honored to help President-elect Barack Obama in his new administration if asked, even if he did once hang around with an "unrepentant domestic terrorist."

Change we can't believe in

Palin says Republican ticket was too 'status quo'

Can't fool me

Don't know if anyone else noticed, but the McCain campaign complains about something, then say "But I'm not going to complain or whine about it, because there's nothing I can do about it. Here's an example. I saw at least annudder one dat I can't remember right now. Look, (soon to be) losers, if you're not going to complain, then don't bring it up. Otherwise, you've complained.

I was also watching Sarah Barracuda this morning in Ohio. The MSNBC folks were fawning over her, saying how those stump speeches were "her element", how that was what she was made to do. Not those one on one gotcha interviews with Katie, but standing in front of a bunch of people and speaking. In other words, she's good at reading. Doesn't matter what she's reading, but she's good at it. You know, about Obama the socialist. Obama the raise taxes on all of you guy. Reading falsehoods that make people say boo and yay on cue. That's her skill.

Happy Halloween!

just in time to save the holiday consuming season

News item: 2009 Sarah Palin calendar goes on sale

did Smiff write this?

FEY AS PALIN - "We are gonna get 'er done."

FERRELL AS BUSH - "My God you are folksy."

FEY AS PALIN - "Why thank you Mr. President. I like to think I'm one part practiced folksy, one part sassy and a little dash of high school bitchy."

FERRELL AS BUSH - "For a little while I was trying to be folksy but after a bit, it just came off douchey.

Very sorry to push Smiff's bundle of joy down the page for this, but the world keeps turnin' ya know!

Palin did not have time to answer questions from the media following her trip through southeastern Ohio, but left some folks exhilirated at meeting her.

"It was so exciting," said Pat Miller of Patriot, accompanied by her daughter Amber, a student at South Gallia High School. "She seemed to be very sweet, and if she could stop and take the time to buy some diapers for her son, it tells you that for her, family is first.

"However, unlike the governor, I have time to meet with the media."

Did Sarge write this? Smiff?

Another ranting, America-hating screed from the same Rolling Stone issue that hated on the former POW, John McCain, in the article Smiff posted:

"She totally reminds me of my cousin!" the delegate screeched. "She's a real woman! The real thing!"

I stared at her open-mouthed. In that moment, the rank cynicism of the whole sorry deal was laid bare. Here's the thing about Americans. You can send their kids off by the thousands to get their balls blown off in foreign lands for no reason at all, saddle them with billions in debt year after congressional year while they spend their winters cheerfully watching game shows and football, pull the rug out from under their mortgages, and leave them living off their credit cards and their Wal-Mart salaries while you move their jobs to China and Bangalore.

And none of it matters, so long as you remember a few months before Election Day to offer them a two-bit caricature culled from some cutting-room-floor episode of Roseanne as part of your presidential ticket. And if she's a good enough likeness of a loudmouthed Middle American archetype, as Sarah Palin is, John Q. Public will drop his giant-size bag of Doritos in gratitude, wipe the Sizzlin' Picante dust from his lips and rush to the booth to vote for her. Not because it makes sense, or because it has a chance of improving his life or anyone else's, but simply because it appeals to the low-humming narcissism that substitutes for his personality, because the image on TV reminds him of the mean, brainless slob he sees in the mirror every morning.

Sarah Palin is a symbol of everything that is wrong with the modern United States. As a representative of our political system, she's a new low in reptilian villainy, the ultimate cynical masterwork of puppeteers like Karl Rove. But more than that, she is a horrifying symbol of how little we ask for in return for the total surrender of our political power. Not only is Sarah Palin a fraud, she's the tawdriest, most half-assed fraud imaginable, 20 floors below the lowest common denominator, a character too dumb even for daytime TV — and this country is going to eat her up, cheering her every step of the way. All because most Americans no longer have the energy to do anything but lie back and allow ourselves to be jacked off by the calculating thieves who run this grasping consumer paradise we call a nation.

Well, I don't know if I'd go that far. Twenty floors? You'd have to dig a deep hole to lay a foundation that low.

Her intuition will be her only guide

Palin Schedules Tour of West Virginia

Cheat Sheet

Sarah Palin Debate Flow Chart

Will someone from Camp BushCo get in the room with these amateurs and tell them how it's done before Grandpa goes unhinged and strangles someone?

The time to let on that your [P]rezzziduntial ticket is clueless is after they're electorated.

Memo to Joe Biden: Let Palin Talk

For those who worry about expectations being so low that she can't help but beat them, that she did well in Alaska debates (by being spunky and bluffing through with gimmicks like patting a "stack of solutions" on health care), consider this:

Capitol Hill sources are telling me that senior McCain people are more than concerned about Palin.

The campaign has held a mock debate and a mock press conference; both are being described as "disastrous." One senior McCain aide was quoted as saying, "What are we going to do?" The McCain people want to move this first debate to some later, undetermined date, possibly never. People on the inside are saying the Alaska Governor is "clueless."

A day late and a petrodollar short

Compliment of the day dearest Hank,

I am writing this letter in confidence believing that if it is realy the wish of God for you to help me and my country, God almighty will bless and reward you abundantly.I am from a true Christian country that worship God truthfully. I got your contact address from our central office during my research on someone who could help us. Firstly,I must introduce myself, My name is Mrs Sarah Plain, widow to Dude Plain whom i lost a couple of weeks ago. My husband was a dearest one serving director of the government of Alaska Petro-exporting board until his disappearance, he was vanished by the media during the political uprising in Wasilly.

Before his vanishing he had an account where he deposited 7,000,000,000.00 Dollars which he wanted to use to purchase snow machine abroad for his intended personal use. Being that this part of the world experiences political crises time without number, there is no guarantee of lives and property. I don't know how and what I will do to invest this money somewhere in abroad, so that my husband's allies will not take over what belongs to the people, which they were planning to do without my present because I am a widow as stated by our culture.

They have succeeded in taken over all my husband's properties, but do not know of this Fund in the bank.That is why I felt happy when I saw your contact which I strongly believe that by the grace of God, you will help me secure and invest this money in your country.I thereby need your help in securing this money to a safe bank account in your country or any safer place as my husband's Russian business partners because I cannot invest this money here any longer, despite it has been my husband's plan .Based on your reply I will furnish you with more details. Do also let me know of how much percentage you will take for handling this for me, which you will strongly have absolute control over.

If you can handle this project sincerely and also willing to assist me in lifting this fund,kindly reach me urgently with your contact number and I will let you know in detail and also inform you of the bank where my husband deposited the money so that you can contact them for them to transfer the money to you as quickly as possible. Please note that this transaction is 100% risk free and I will be delighted to forward the depository documents to you in my next mail for your perusal.

I give thanks immensely for your coperation as I look forward to hearing from you soonest.

Thanks and may God Bless you.

Sincerely,
Mrs.Sarah Plain

this is probably nothing to worry about

"Let me tell ya somethin' that's goin' on today in our world, particularly here in our Nation, that needs some shakin' up and some fixin'..."

-- Sarah Palin, 45th President of the United States, on the Yoooge Depression of 2009-2022

Funny Stuff

Is this:

A. Fung on vacation in Brazil

B. Two employees of a new theme park

C. The worlds smallest man & the woman with the longest legs in the world

D. What happens when you alter just one gene

E. Smiff on vacation in Florida

It's spreading

Widely believed in the United States, creationism - the belief that God created the earth and man in six days - is enjoying a resurgence of support in the UK, say its believers and its critics.

An estimated 47% of Americans reject outright Charles Darwin's theory of evolution, accepting instead the Bible's account of the creation of the universe - as laid out in the first chapter of Genesis.

47%? Really? Wha? How? Erm, wha? 47%? And I'm guessing that 99.9% of them are voting for McCain because of his running mate. So McCain just needs a fraction of the non-believers. No wonder our elections have been so close...

Maureen Dowd field dresses (what?) a barracuda

The really scary part of the Palin interview was how much she seemed like W. in 2000, and not just the way she pronounced nu-cue-lar. She had the same flimsy but tenacious adeptness at saying nothing, the same generalities and platitudes, the same restrained resentment at being pressed to be specific, as though specific is the province of silly eggheads, not people who clear brush at the ranch or shoot moose on the tundra.

Talk to the paw, hocky momz...

But an examination of her swift rise and record as mayor of Wasilla and then governor finds that her visceral style and penchant for attacking critics — she sometimes calls local opponents “haters” — contrasts with her carefully crafted public image.