Ozzie: The Bludgeoning

"Just be ready because I expect movement Tuesday," Guillen said. "I expect Kenny to do something Tuesday, and if we don’t do anything Tuesday, there are going to be a lot of lineup changes. That’s all I’m going to say about the offense.

"It can be me. It can be (hitting coach) Greg Walker. It can be the players. It could be anybody. I’m sick and tired to watch this thing for a year and a half. I’m not protecting anybody anymore. (Bleep) it.

"If they can’t get it done, Kenny should find someone to get it done. That’s it."

Ozzie's Wet Dream

With no sign that talks have progressed, David Eckstein is likely to begin negotiating with other teams next week.
The Cardinals aren't going to have him signed within their 15-day window. The St. Louis Post-Dispatch believes the White Sox will "lead the bidding" for Eckstein.

The gritty, gutty Eck who comes to play every day, gets the most out of his abilities, a Gamer! a Grinder!, a proven winner, a veteran, doesn't strike out, and is even shrimpier than Ozzie? Ozzie won't need the Viagra this year.

Meanwhile...
Joe Crede for Johnny Damon? Well, he's better dan Podzzzie or Erstad, but that's like saying Dan Quayle is smarter than George W. Bush.

I can hear Ozzie now...

Jeff Cox is expected to be named the new third base coach for the White Sox. Cox was as a minor league manager for 13 years before spending the past six years in the majors as a coach with Montreal, Florida and Pittsburgh. He replaces Razor Shines, who was let go Monday, for no apparent reason udder dan Ozzie felt to need to fire somebody. And who's the most obvious? As Fung will tell you, the black guy.

"I would like to introduce Jeff Cox...that's not just one cock, but a lot of cocks! Ha ha!! I hear he also molests children... Ha, just joking, we go way back... Jeff also likes animals, if you know what i mean... One time in Tijuana, at a donkey show..."

Kenny: "Thank you, Ozzie. Moving along..."

Shaking things up

Ozzie Style...

Shines fired, Kusnyer gets new job on inside
By Mark Gonzales, 1:40 p.m.
DENVER -- Manager Ozzie Guillen shook up his staff Friday by firing third base coach Razor Shines.
Bullpen coach Art Kusnyer and the team reached an agreement in which Kusnyer will work within the organization but will no longer coach. Kusnyer underwent eye surgery and missed the Sox's road trips in September.
A search will begin immediately to fill both positions.
The firing of Shines is somewhat surprising considering Guillen praised Shines for his work at third in his first season after serving in the Sox's minor league system for six seasons.
But in the past month, Guillen was less committed to bringing back his entire staff. Shines had been praised for his work with the Sox's younger players prior to his appointment as third base coach.
Kusnyer, 61, told friends on Sunday that he was going to step down and that he appreciated the support Kenny Williams provided the staff since taking over as general manager.
Kusnyer was the bullpen coach for 11 seasons and served in the same capacity from 1980-87.
The rest of the coaching staff is expected to stay intact for 2008.

Hilarious!

White Sox signed manager Ozzie Guillen to a multiyear contract extension through the 2012 season.

Only 5 years? why not 10?

This should really go on the Spades Marathon Blog...

I have the South Side edition of the Baseball Heroes Playing Cards. The Ozzie Guillen card will be going up once I have it scanned in...

I'll admit it

I had phokking switched the TV off too when I came back & saw it 10-4...


Chi White Sox 11, Minnesota 10, 13 innings

Preview - Box Score - Recap
September 8, 2007
AP - Sep 8, 1:07 am EDT

More Photos

CHICAGO (AP) -- When their team gave up six runs in the top of the ninth after entering it tied with Minnesota, disgruntled White Sox fans streamed out of U.S. Cellular Field and headed home.

Whoops.

Jim Thome helped the White Sox erase a six-run deficit and make some major league history before beating Minnesota 11-10 in 13 innings Friday night. Thome's 496th career homer highlighted the unprecedented rally.

It was the first time two big league teams each scored six runs to remain tied after the ninth.

"A lot of fans are going to wake up in the morning and say 'Wow they won the game? How'd that happen?"' White Sox (moron) Ozzie Guillen said. "Baseball is about surprise. It was a crazy game."

A.J. Pierzynski hit an RBI single in the 13th to keep Chicago from being mathematically eliminated for the AL Central title. The Twins, now 12 games back of Cleveland, are all but out of it, too.

Continued, if you dare...

Rewarding Failure

New Guillen deal may be in works

"I'm the best ting dat ever happen to da Chicago Wite Sox, I tell u what."

Ozzie tries a new tact

Clevelands 7
White Sux Zero Zilch Zed Zippo Nada Nothing None The Big Goose Egg

"I love deez fuckin' keeds. My family loves deez keeds. Mrs. Ozzie loves deez keeds. My keeds love deez keeds, especially Junior Ozzie. They play hard. Dere's no fuckin' quit in dem. They come out and fuckin' play. All nine fuckin' innings. And then, win or lose, okay, lose, they go back to the hotel. Or a bar. I mean, who wouldn't be drinkin' at a fuckin' time like this? Whether it's pitchin', hittin' or fieldin', we're not doing to well right now, but sometimes you just have to tip your fuckin' hat to the other fuckin' country cocksuckin' team--those fuckin' FUCKS!!--like it or not. But everybody associated with this organization have been winners their whole fuckin' life. Everybody. Except Brian Anderson. I hate dat fuckin' loser. And the credit is not given in that respect. Alright, we're 57 and 79...and unfortunately, that's the criteria of...everyone. But I tell you, it'll take more than a 57 and 79 to destroy the makeup of this fuckin' club. I guarantee you dat. There's some fuckin' pros out there that wanna win. It's a disheartening fuckin' situation that we're in right now. But we've got 26 games left! What I'm tryin' to say is don't rip them fuckin' guys out there. Rip me. If you wanna rip somebody, rip my fuckin' ass. But don't rip them fuckin' guys 'cause they're givin' everything they can give. And right now they're tryin' to do more than God gave 'em, and that's why we make the simple mistakes. That's exactly why."

More Ozzie Madness

Cleveland Inning Summary
- E. Wassermann relieved M. Buehrle
- A. Cabrera hit for J. Barfield
- P. Konerko at first
- D. Erstad in left field
- A. Cabrera grounded out to first
- G. Sizemore singled to right
- F. Gutierrez flied out to deep center
- M. Myers relieved E. Wassermann
- T. Hafner walked, G. Sizemore to second
- V. Martinez singled to right, G. Sizemore scored, T. Hafner to third
- M. MacDougal relieved M. Myers (WTF??????)
- C. Gomez ran for V. Martinez
- R. Garko singled to left, T. Hafner scored, C. Gomez to third (OK bad hop, wasn't his fault)
- J. Peralta walked, R. Garko to second (4 straight balls)
- K. Lofton hit for J. Michaels
- K. Lofton walked, C. Gomez scored, R. Garko to third, J. Peralta to second (4 straight balls)
- C. Blake doubled to right, K. Lofton, J. Peralta and R. Garko scored (3-2 breaking ball that was probably a ball anyway)
- A. Cabrera walked
- B. Logan relieved M. MacDougal & got the next guy out.

5-2 lead turns into 8-5 deficit.

dis ain't gonna help

Chi White Sox 1
Texas 5
Final

Against the gutless Kevin Millwood, no less... Look for Ozzie to try to get into the Sox'zz charter plane's cockpit during their approach to Cleveland and try to crash it into Lake Erie. At least that's what he should do, if he were a man.

Mt. Guillen Erupts

Guillen rips into Sox
X-rated rant follows loss to Rangers in extra innings

"Well, they're killing me," Guillen said. "They're killing my family. They're killing my coaching staff, killing the White Sox fans. They kill the owner. They kill everyone. I hope they feel the same way we feel."

"A $100 million payroll and those guys don't show how much they make in the field. Well, Kenny [Williams], I don't say what he has to do, but we play like this and spend all that money on the club like that, I will shut the payroll and go with Double-A kids if we have to, because it's not easy. I know those guys go out there and they care about it."

"I hope somebody out there cares the way we care," he said. "Good guys or nice guys finish (expletive) last. I'm tired of seeing that (expletive), day in and day out. And I don't want to spend a miserable September seeing the same (expletive). If I have to see the same (expletive), I told Kenny, 'Bring somebody up. (Expletive) it.'

"If it's my fault, I should be moving out of here then. If it's my fault, (expletive) fire my (expletive) and I'll be fine. I have the job to do and I get paid a lot of (expletive) money to make this club work, but it's not easy to work with people like that. It's not easy."

Makes me wanna cry

Reading the stats in the Trib at lunch:

Sox top batters average:
Erstad .272
AJ .269

Whole Cubs team: .269

Sox ERA 5.00
Cubs ERA 4.00

Seriously Ozzie, why are you still alive?

A.J. Being A.J.

A.J. Pierzynski and White Sox hitting coach Greg Walker got into a verbal disagreement in the dugout Sunday that manager Ozzie Guillen said was Pierzynski's fault. "A.J. has to admit he was wrong," Guillen said. "I don't have anything against A.J. I like him. I love him. He's one of my players. I love dis keed. He shows up every day, but he's got to admit he's wrong."

He shows up every day? Add a baseball player's job requirements to things that aren't what they used to be...

Suckfest on da Sout'Side: further evidence today

Totally ripped off from Fire Joe Morgan:

Ozzie Ozzie Ozzie!
Yesterday [Friday] the White Sox dropped two games in dismal fashion to the Red Sox. Ozzie Guillen, post-game:

"A tough day for everyone. Pitching, hitting, defense. You just name it. I think that's one of the reasons they're in first place and we're in last place."

Pitching, hitting, defense. One of the reasons the Red Sox are in first place and the White Sox are in last.

He thinks.

-----

Series total: Red Sox 46, White Sox 7. Yep, it's looking like pitching, hitting, defense. Also, how about lousy managing? And the manager continuing not to take his own life? Really, how else is this team "going to start playing like they're capable of playing" without some drastic, desperate act. Ozzie, for the good of the team you MUST hang yourself in your office. This should have happened weeks ago. Come on, Macho Man, put your money where your big mouth is...

didn't BP predict 72-90?

DJ: ...Not in the minds of the coaching staff or the front office.
Hawk: Well, nobody could see it coming. It's just that simple.

Then: DJ: Nobody knew or could have foreseen the Sox playing the way they have this year. If anybody could have explained it to them earlier in the year [Ozzie] probably would have slapped him in the head and walked away.

later...DJ:...It's been uncanny, nobody could truly explain it. Nobody foresaw this kind of turnaround.

Sout'side Suckfest

i hadn't realized it has got dis bad:

Royals 55 69 .444 13.5
White Sox 55 69 .444 13.5

Last place? Only the Devil Rays have a worse record in the AL. Honestly, how does Ozzie go on living?

Jeff Passan is a child molester

Ozzie-ball goes flat by Jeff Passan

"If you have the horses, you win the Kentucky Derby," Guillen said. "You're not going to win the Kentucky Derby with donkeys."

Can you win with a horse's ass?

oh, now he loves children...

Guillen's 'kids' giving Sox hope

National Clown Month (Cont'd)

- S. Podsednik at designated hitter