Friday, March 14, 2008

Africa gets shafted, again

We really coulda used that money too...

Nation Of Andorra Not In Africa, Shocked U.S. State Dept. Reports

an update

There are two Google hits for brain-dead Floridians whut cain't tell the difference between a squirrel and an orangutan. Google also offers this helpful suggestion:

Did you mean: brain-dead Floridians who cain't tell the difference between a squirrel and an orangutan

Thursday, March 13, 2008

This Internet thing has gone too far...

Skip church; confess on

Curse of da Chix I presume

Frozen pizza magnate The Red Baron diagnosed with colon cancer.

The Dumbshine State (cont'd)

Do-over primary getting lost in the mail

"There's no authority under Florida law that would allow county supervisors of election or the state to verify signatures in an election of a state party..."

Last week, the party said a mailed ballot would cost $4 million to $6 million. The new estimate: $10 million to $12 million...

literally, there is nothing to see here

Pentagon cancels release of controversial Iraq report

WASHINGTON — The Pentagon on Wednesday canceled plans for broad public release of a study that found no pre-Iraq war link between late Iraqi President Saddam Hussein and the al Qaida terrorist network.

True Love

A survey of Illinois Statutes
720 ILCS 5/11‑7. Adultery. (a) Any person who has sexual intercourse with another not his spouse commits adultery, if the behavior is open and notorious, and (1) The person is married and the other person involved in such intercourse is not his spouse; or (2) The person is not married and knows that the other person involved in such intercourse is married. (b) Adultery is a Class A misdemeanor.
Read: Marriage is a special promise when you tell someone - I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other people.
720 ILCS 5/11‑8. Fornication. (a) Any person who has sexual intercourse with another not his spouse commits fornication if the behavior is open and notorious. (b) Fornication is a Class B misdemeanor.
Read: This is my favourite Class B misdemeanor. And if you are reading this and not a bible, you are a criminal. Thankfully the "another" part means that single people can still take the Jocelyn Elders route.
720 ILCS 5/11‑14. Prostitution. (a) Any person who performs, offers or agrees to perform any act of sexual penetration as defined in Section 12‑12 of this Code for any money, property, token, object, or article or anything of value, or any touching or fondling of the sex organs of one person by another person, for any money, property, token, object, or article or anything of value, for the purpose of sexual arousal or gratification commits an act of prostitution. (b) Prostitution is a Class A misdemeanor.
Read: If you ever see a prostitute, ask her or him just to touch herself or himself. Also if you attribute any value to love, and you are not a virgin, then you are a prostitute.
720 ILCS 5/11‑14.1. Solicitation of a sexual act. (a) Any person who offers a person not his or her spouse any money, property, token, object, or article or anything of value to perform any act of sexual penetration as defined in Section 12‑12 of this Code, or any touching or fondling of the sex organs of one person by another person for the purpose of sexual arousal or gratification, commits the offense of solicitation of a sexual act. (b) Solicitation of a sexual act is a Class B misdemeanor.
Read: Marriage is state sanctioned prostitution.
And as a special bonus - The definition of obscenity:
(b) Obscene Defined. Any material or performance is obscene if: (1) the average person, applying contemporary adult community standards, would find that, taken as a whole, it appeals to the prurient interest; and (2) the average person, applying contemporary adult community standards, would find that it depicts or describes, in a patently offensive way, ultimate sexual acts or sadomasochistic sexual acts, whether normal or perverted, actual or simulated, or masturbation, excretory functions or lewd exhibition of the genitals; and (3) taken as a whole, it lacks serious literary, artistic, political or scientific value.
Here is the special problem. Are we asking people about the contemporary adult community standards in public, or are we having a real talk with Jesus with them. Because every man is going to say a centerfold is pornographic if you ask them, every man is going to vote against pornography, but then they are going to go home and watch some porn. When I was helping on a Village Planning and Design Commission, they told me they didn't want an adult use business in town because no one there would like it and only truckers would use it. My response - "that explains why it is a multi-billion dollar a year industry - all those rich truckers."
Why is this country so phucked up sexually? There are good reasons to protect marriage, and good reasons to curb prostitution - these laws don't seem to be reaching any of them.

What's the Matter with Kansas? Kansans

This must have been one hell of a dump.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

For all you environmental hippies

You know who you are...

Eliot a Goner

Proving, once again, that what goes around comes around. Or is it that good guys finish last? Can't fight the system, coz the system always wins? Whitey keeping whitey down?

And can we not have the wife out every time this happens? Or, if she does come out, can we have her either beat him up, chew him out, or displaying the new bling he had to cough up millions for in order for her to stand up there?

Scary $#!+

US government forces military secrets on Brit webmaster
Sorry, we thought you were us
By Dan Goodin in San FranciscoMore by this author

A website promoting the town of Mildenhall has been shut down after it unintentionally became the recipient of hundreds of classified emails, including messages detailing the planned flight path of President Bush.

Over more than a decade, received emails detailing all kinds of secret military information that were intended for official Air Force personnel. One detailed where Air Force One could be found in the air during a planned visit to the region by President Bush. Others included battlefield strategy and passwords.

"I was being sent everything from banal chat and jokes, to videos up to 15mb in size," Gary Sinnott, owner of, said in this article in EDP 24. "Some were classified, some were personal. A lot had some really sensitive information in them."

As owner of, Sinnott received every email that had that domain name included in the address field. The site was set up to provide information about the town of Mildenhall, which is about a half-hour's drive north east of Cambridge.

Sinnott says he brought the SNAFU to the attention of Air Force officials but was never able to get the problem fixed. At first, they didn't seem to take the matter seriously, but eventually, they "went mental," he said. Officials advised Sinnott to block unrecognizable addresses from his domain and set up an auto-reply reminding people of the address for the official air force base.
But still, the official emails continued to flow in to Sinnott's site. And to make matters worse, some people got angry after Sinnott told them they were sending email to the wrong address and gave his address to spammers. Sinnott was receiving 30,000 pieces of email per day, most of which was junk mail.

So Sinnott pulled the plug on the website. Though he remains the owner of, it may only be a matter of time before all those emails incorrectly addressed to Air Force personnel at automatically begin to bounce. And that ought to make security conscious people everywhere breath a little easier.

Alas, according whois records, and are in the hands of non-military individuals and is available to anyone with $35. Given what we now know about the boobs who send confidential information, that ought to give us pause. ®

The article doesn't really get to the heart of the problem - there is an Air Force base near Mildenhall called Mildenhall Air Force Base. So the dumbasses here, instead of checking to see what the domain is for the base, just assumed it was (because that's what it should be, right? Even though it's a military base, and not a commmercial entity, it's always .com isn't it?) and sent messages, UNENCRYPTED, to the wrong people. Then said person, being nice, alerted the military and they basically waved him off. Imagine if someone else had thought of this - heck, this could be happening all over the world.

This goes under Bushian, even if it did start before he was in power...

Zimbabwe Casts About for PR Help

"We said thank you very much, but no."

who's hating America today?

This one's almost too easy: Bernie Sanders.

According to the latest available statistics from the Internal Revenue Service, the top 1 percent of Americans earned significantly more income in 2005 than the bottom 50 percent. In addition, the Congressional Budget Office (CBO) recently reported that the wealthiest 1 percent saw total income rise by $180,000 in 2005. That is more than the average middle-class family makes in three years. The CBO also found that the total share of after-tax income going to the top 1 percent hit the highest level on record, while the middle class and working families received the smallest share of after-tax income on record.

Why does Bernie have a problem with freedom?

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

too much information

Kaz Matsui will miss four to five days with an anal fissure. That's an unnatural tear or crack in the anus skin, for those of you not in the know. Matsui is expected to be out until at least Friday. Anal fissures can become chronic problems, but the Astros hope using a different medication will sooth Matsui's issue.

Whitey Trying to Keep Darkie Down (Con't)

Former VP candidate Ferraro: Obama is a token*

*Edited for clarity.

nothing to see here, move along, etc. (cont'd)

News item: Former attorney general John D. Ashcroft today strenuously defended a government-sanctioned contract that could earn his consulting firm more than $50 meeeelllion, saying there is no conflict of interest in the appointment made by one of his former U.S. attorneys.

Ashcroft has come under scrutiny from Democratic lawmakers since he accepted a no-bid contract to oversee the operations of an Indiana medical equipment company which is accused of giving kickbacks to doctors. He was chosen by U.S. Attorney Christopher Christie of New Jersey, a Republican who once worked for Ashcroft.

"There is not a conflict," Ashcroft said. "There is not an appearance of conflict."

Eliot a Goner?

New York Assembly Republican Minority Leader James Tedisco said: "If he does not resign within the next 24 to 48 hours, we will prepare articles of impeachment to remove him.

I thought the rules were:
Sex Scandal for a Democrat=flaw
Sex Scandal for a Republican=fatal flaw

So while a Republican resigns immediately, a Democrat soldiers on. I guess that's why the Republican would impeach though - since to them it's a fatal flaw, it should be to the other side too, and they get all pissy when the Democrat refuses to go. Though this one hasn't refused. Yet.

Also, where does this story go on the whitey vs darky sub topic? I's confused...

Zombie Constitution

WARRENSBURG, Mo. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia delivered a withering and practiced critique of modern constitutional interpretation during an evening address at the University of Central Missouri.

Scalia, the second-most bat-s#!t-crazy justice on the U.S. Supreme Court, focused particularly on the notion of a “living Constitution” that evolves as society “matures.”

“The Constitution does not change,” Scalia said. “It means today what it meant when it first was written. … It does not morph. The founding fathers had no concept of the 'future' and therefore never left any deliberately ambiguous terms in the constitution. They just weren't bright enough to think like that. Terms like 'well regulated,' "unreasonable,' 'probable cause,' 'due process of law,' 'just compensation,' 'speedy and public trial,' 'excessive bail,' 'excessive fines,' and 'cruel and unusual punishments' have very specific meanings, which are all contained in the definitions section of the Constitution, which is available only to members of the Federalist Society." Scalia is of course a member of the Federalist Society.

Scalia stated that the Constitution is like the Bible. "It is the Divine and infallible word of George Washington, Benjamin Franklin, James Madison, Alexander Hamilton, and roughly 35 others, all of whom are dead white landowning males." Just like every word of the Bible is true, so is every word of the Constitution, Scalia argued. "Generally, I am in favor of books being written by dead white landowning males controlling society for thousands of years. Of course, I suppose if I ever saw a conflict between the two, I would go with God, Jesus and the Holy Ghost rather than Washington, Franklin, Madison and Hamilton. They may be outnumbered, but the reward plan looks better to me."

Scalia appeared before a friendly crowd of about 1,300 as part of the university’s Julius J. Oppenheimer Lecture Series. "Now I am become death, the destroy of worlds," Scalia quipped, when first stepping up to the podium.

Echoing themes he fleshed out more than 10 years ago in his book A Matter of Interpretation and in hundreds of opinions and dissents, Scalia said judges who read more into the Constitution than actually was written there could make the document less capable of protecting citizens from an unjust majority. Scalia noted that he errs on the side of reading less into the Constitution than was actually written there in order to make the document less capable of protecting citizens from an unjust majority. "Either way works, though," he added.

Scalia described himself as an “originalist” who went to the text of the Constitution to find what was there and what wasn’t. “The Constitution is not a living organism,” Scalia said. “It’s a legal document that says some things and doesn’t say others.” He added, "I have never understood metaphors." One of the main themes of Scalia's speeches on the issue has been that the Constitution is "dead."

Scalia’s humor punctuated the evening, particularly during a question-and-answer session. When one of the questioners asked "If the Constitution is dead, is the 2nd Amendment dead?" Scalia responded "Well maybe dead isn't exactly the right word. Perhaps undead is a better way to put it. Can you be undead and never have been alive? It would be like that I think. Like a stillborn zombie."

Scalia has been seen as a strong protector of rights that are explicitly defined in the Constitution. He has voted, for example, to strike down laws restricting activities at each end of the conventional political spectrum, flag-burning on the one hand and cross-burning on the other.

Blackwater: doing very well for a small business

And here comes annudder whiney Democrat to phokk it all up...

News item: In letters to the Internal Revenue Service, the Small Business Administration and the Labor Department, Waxman (D-Calif.) questioned Blackwater's classification of its workers as "independent contractors" rather than employees. That designation, which the government has questioned in the past, has allowed the company to obtain $144 million in contracts set aside for small businesses and to avoid paying as much as $50 million in withholding taxes under State Department contracts, he said.

To Eliot Spitzer...

...we've all been there. Spending $4,300 a pop on a prostitute, transporting her across state lines, and using a friend's name as a pseudonym (in my case, Decker's)? Yep. But since i don't know how to text, i wasn't stupid enough to do that. I also don't have a hot wife and three daughters, and i'm not the governor of Kollyfornia (yet). Also, “to do things that, like, you might not think were safe”? I can't imagine what this could be--Decker, can you help out a bud here? Maybe it involves standing on your head?

But my real point is merely to point out the fact dat Spitzer is a super-delegate for Hillary.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Why aren't all of these phokking @$$HOLES in prison?

Let's start with this @$$hole:

Rove taunted in Iowa

Former top Bush aide Karl Rove didn’t get the friendliest of receptions at the University of Iowa Sunday, CNN affiliate KCRG reports.

Rove, who was paid $40,000 to speak at the University, was confronted with an at-times hostile crowd of 1,000, and was interrupted on several occasions.

$40,000 to be lied to for an hour? Er, YOU ARE A UNIVERSITY...people learnin' and s#i+...has no one there been reading the papers since January 2001?

don't know...don't wanna know...


Felix Pie was scheduled for outpatient surgery to correct a case of testicular torsion. That can't be fun. Pie originally hoped to have the procedure on an off day next week, but he needed it immediately and is expected to miss the next 3-5 days. Sam Fuld and Eric Patterson will play center field.

You've been hoodwinked... bamboozled... etc... cont'd....

News item: Sen. Barack Obama accused rival Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton today of attempting to "hoodwink" and "bamboozle" voters into thinking she was the front-runner by offering him the second slot on her ticket.

Smiff on da sout side?

And he didn't even call? Well, OK, I can see why...

Sunday, March 9, 2008

If the sun came up today, well...

...Jim Oberweis must be losing another election in Illinois:

Major Democratic Victory - Hastert’s IL Seat Goes To Bill Foster

What's next for Jimbo? Is "ice cream truck driver" an elected position anywhere?

Face it, no one likes you. Dick.

not my fault, but dere is a McClure involved

Jimmy Gobble had a cactus thorn removed from one of his big toes on Sunday morning.

Gobble got the thorn stuck in his foot after accidentally kicking a cactus while playing golf early in spring training. Gobble apparently felt the pain, but continued with normal spring activities. "They said it was almost an inch, three-quarters of an inch long," pitching coach Bob McClure said Sunday. "How he was pitching with that, I'll never know." Gobble had a 3.02 ERA in 53 2/3 innings last year out of the bullpen and he will act as the Royals' primary left-handed specialist this season.

Fuzzy Math

Beating Cook's sales tax

After shopping around for a new laptop, Patti Jo Mitchel took a 40-mile drive from her home in Chicago's Bridgeport neighborhood to a Best Buy in Indiana.

It wasn't a sale that lured Mitchel over the state line. It was the sales tax.

"On a big-ticket item like this, I figure it's worth it," Mitchel said while making her purchase Thursday.

By crossing the state border, she saved more than $32 on her $1,075 purchase of a laptop and accessories.

OK, so assuming by 40 mile trip they mean there and back, and assuming she had one of dem SUV's that gets 10 miles to the gallon. Gas was about $3.50 a gallon when I was out yesterday, so that means she spent $14 on gas for the trip. So that's down to $18 savings. She probably spent 1 1/2 to 2 hours more going to Indiana than she did if she'd stayed in Chicago. Let's use the IL minimum wage to put a price on that time. $7.50 an hour. We go with 90 minutes, that's $11.25. So we're down to $6.75. If she took the skyway, $3 each way, $6 total. Now we're at 75 cents. This doens't count the cost of the pollution she caused. But now were under a tenth of 1% savings.

I wish the Tribune had counted all the costs when saying the woman saved money. It would have been really easy. But no, oversimplify, as always. It is alluded to in the article, that border communities will be more affected than downtown Chicago, but that's because all the costs I outlined above go away. And they don't mention that. Why not do the calculation - see if driving 40 miles away to save 2% on taxes is worth it? Isn't that what they, as our MSM, should do? Inform us fully?