Saturday, March 8, 2008

Hell Freezing Over?

Cubs to play on the South Side? Could happen

I predict as soon as da Cubbies start playing on da Sout Side, Wrigley will be sold and new high class condos will go up - dis is just a smokescreen to get da Cubbies out of prime real estate...

As Far As I Know

Confronting the Kitchen Sink
Published: March 8, 2008 in the New York Times

The high anxiety in the Obama circles has thrown the campaign off its game.

Samantha Power, one of Senator Barack Obama’s senior foreign policy advisers, had to quit Friday after she lost her cool in an interview with a Scottish newspaper and called Senator Hillary Clinton a “monster.”

The campaign apologized for the flap. But Mr. Obama himself seems unsure of how to respond to the trash-and-thrash tactics that helped Senator Clinton defeat him in Ohio and Texas this week.

The anger that caused Ms. Power to blurt out the monster comment is widespread inside the Obama camp. But Senator Obama, for a variety of reasons — some of them self-imposed — is sharply constrained in the way that he can respond to provocations.

And if there is one thing the Clinton crowd knows how to do, it’s provoke.

On Thursday, Senator Clinton’s spokesman, Howard Wolfson, likened Senator Obama to Ken Starr, the independent prosecutor who hounded the Clintons in the Monica Lewinsky scandal. Why the Clinton forces would want to inject that poisonous bit of business into the campaign is a mystery.

But there was Mr. Wolfson on Thursday, in response to a call from the Obama campaign for Mrs. Clinton to release her tax returns, asserting: “I, for one, do not believe that imitating Ken Starr is the way to win a Democratic primary election for president.”

More serious was Senator Clinton’s assertion that she was qualified to be commander in chief, and that John McCain had also “certainly” crossed that “threshold,” but that the jury was still out on Mr. Obama.

In other words, if a choice on national security had to be made today between Senators Obama and McCain, voters — according to Mrs. Clinton’s logic — should choose Senator McCain.

That is a low thing for a Democratic presidential candidate to do to a rival in a party primary. Can you imagine John McCain saying that Rudy Giuliani or Mitt Romney or even the guitar-strumming Mike Huckabee might be less qualified than Hillary Clinton to be commander in chief? It couldn’t happen.

But Senator Clinton never gave a second thought to opening the trap door beneath her fellow Democrat.

And then there was Mrs. Clinton on “60 Minutes,” being interviewed by Steve Kroft. He had shown a clip on the program of a voter in Ohio who said that he’d heard that Senator Obama didn’t know the national anthem, “wouldn’t use the Holy Bible,” and was a Muslim.

Mr. Kroft asked Senator Clinton if she believed that Senator Obama is a Muslim. In one of the sleaziest moments of the campaign to date, Senator Clinton replied: “No. No. Why would I? No, there is nothing to base that on. As far as I know.”

As far as I know.

If she had been asked if she thought President Bush was a Muslim, would her response have included the caveat “as far as I know”? What about Senator McCain? Why, then, with Senator Obama?

In the run-up to the crucial Texas and Ohio primaries, the plan in the Clinton camp, as The Times reported, was to unleash as many lines of attack as possible — a “kitchen sink” fusillade — in the hope that something would work. Senator Obama is still trying to figure out how to respond.

Whatever anger and frustration he may be feeling, he should stick to the high road. He can’t win wrestling in the mud with Hillary Clinton. That will not put Barack Obama in the White House.

Mr. Obama’s strength was his message of hope and healing, the idea that he could bring disparate groups together to work on the nation’s toughest problems. That has gotten him this far, which is much further than almost anyone expected.

He now needs an added dimension. He needs to articulate a vision. He needs to spell out to voters where he wants to take this country over the next few years, how he will alleviate the suffering of millions trapped in vicious economic circumstances and what he will do to restore the honor and prestige of the U.S. around the world.

Political campaigns are not about fairness, but they can often be about vision. Voters want more from Senator Obama.

He may not be able to close the deal with, say, working-class whites, but he more than anyone else has the eloquence to try and make a compelling case. He should go for it.

We have seen election after election in which candidates have won by fanning the anxieties of voters. Elect me, or something terrible will happen to you!

That is now the Clinton mantra, which is a measure of how grim our politics have become.

Friday, March 7, 2008

we're phokked (cont'd)

News item: George W. Bush is a f*ck*ng @sshole

With his ubiquitous shit-eating grin, Bush not only dismissed the predictions of experts like Meredith Whitney and Stiglitz, but stood firm if not stubbornly for continuing his war in Iraq. For that reason alone, he endorsed John McCain, who boasts of his economic ignorance and glories in the notion of perpetual war.

Like the truly rich, the Bush family doesn’t see or feel material suffering.

really, what's worse here?

News Item: Obama adviser resigns after calling Clinton a 'monster'

News Item: Clinton spokesman compares Obama to Kenneth Starr

Business as usual

Zimbabwe bans Western monitors

"Clearly, those who believe that the only free and fair election is where the opposition wins have been excluded since the ruling party, Zanu-PF, is poised to score yet another triumph," Mr Mumbengegwi told the state-owned Herald newspaper.

So, because the ruling party's gonna win, and those pesky westerners would say that the ruling party cheated, they're not allowed in. Meanwhile, the minions of Hugo, Ahmadinewotsit, Putin I mean Medvedev and best of all, the Sudan, will be allowed to "observe".

So, nothing will change. The ruling party will win, the west will say they stole it, and it's business as usual.

Oh, and now the Brits are mulling a ban on Zimbabwean sportsmen (and women). Oh no, we didn't mean all sports. We just meant cricket, which, as we've found on this blog, nobody cares about. Are you phokking kidding me? Is that the best they can do? Ban the Zimbabwean cricket team from touring England? Because the President apparently is the patron of Zimbabwe cricket and loves to watch? That's supposed to make him change his mind? Stop phokking nitpicking. Either go all the way or do nothing. Leave em alone, or invade. You know, regime change. Iraqi style. What, they have no weapons of mass destruction? No oil? So phokk em?

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Hillary: Unhinged

9:10 PM me: did you hear your boy, Hillary Clinton, today endorse McCain over Obama?
9:11 PM i hate her - i don't think i can vote for her in the general
Andrew: Ah...she's liking the whole "bad boy" image she's got going on.
I will vote for her because of the supreme court. But I hate her goddamn guts.
9:12 PM She's like the boss you hate. You hope they just go away. You don't want them to die, you don't wish them pain - you just wish they didn't exist in your life.
9:13 PM me: i think her dying at this point would be a good thing [I kid, i'm a kidder!--ed.]
Andrew: You know - I wouldn't wail and gnash teeth.
9:14 PM What the fuck is the matter with Ohio? I mean, Texas, whatever, they're fucking hillbilly morons who paused from jerking off on dead black corpses...but Ohio?
me: you tell me...aren't the Deckers from Ohio?
9:15 PM Andrew: It's sadly true. And then Oberlin right? I mean a state wise enough to have an Oberlin should hold itself to a higher standard. I think David Brook actually had a salient observation - Obama's failed to connect his new politics to a concrete idea of how it will actually help people - and that's killing him in Ohio and maybe in Pennsylvania if he's not careful.
9:16 PM me: and Hillary being a BEE-ATCH and people sucking it up
9:17 PM Andrew: They love it. Because it's like reality tv
9:18 PM me: she was like Joe Lieberman today campaigning for McCain...just shameless
Andrew: She's such a piece of shit. I didn't hear about any of this.
me: it's on Olbermann right now
9:19 PM Andrew: Ah.
I don't have that newfangled televishon stuff...
9:20 PM me: she said..."John McCain is qualified, it's been shown i'm qualified to be'll have to ask Barack Obama if he's qualified."
9:22 PM Andrew: What does she even mean by this argument? How is she qualified. Because she stood by her "man" while he was getting blown by a fat secretary in training so that she could get her turn at the drinking fountain? What is she talking about? He's done more organizing than she has - worked with more types of people and has been a more interesting senator in that he's worked with more people. Besides that he can actually give a speech - forgive me for believing that the bully pulpit is an effective presidential tool for change...
9:25 PM me: well...YEAH. Obama's response was she thinks she's more qualified because she's been in Washington longer... i can understand she thinks she has to run BO down, but by propping up their opponent in the general? what kind of fucking democrat is that? she should run with fucking Zell Miller.
9:26 PM Andrew: Trust the democrats to fuck this up.
9:52 PM me: Hillary's statement today: "Look, I have said Senator McCain will bring a lifetime of experience to the campaign. I will bring a lifetime of experience, and Senator Obama will bring a speech he gave in 2002. I think that is a significant difference. I think that since we now know Senator McCain will be the nominee for the Republican Party, national security will be front and center in this election. We all know that. And i think it's imperative that each of us be able to demonstrate we can cross the Commander-in-Chief threshold. And I believe I have done that, certainly Senator McCain has done that, and you'll have to ask Senator Obama with respect to his candidacy..."
Hillary: Unhinged
Andrew: has she demonstrated this?
9:53 PM By voting to waste money going after people who had nothing to do with our security at the expense of our security?
She's such a goddamn piece of shit.
But sadly...I have to sleep.
You're right though - she's so gross it'll be hard to vote for her.
9:54 PM I wonder if Nader is hoping she wins?
me: maybe the answer is in her tax returns?
9:55 PM Andrew: probably turns out she's been making money off of haliburton and she attended the energy summit in Dick "Dick" "Dick" Cheney's offices...
on that cheerful note...10-4 good buddy!
me: Zzzzzzzz...

scary s#i+


[insert your own funny response here]

Funny, FUNNY stuff:

Reds manager Dusty Baker has already decided he doesn't like Joey Votto's approach at the plate. The approach that led to a .321/.360/.548 line and 17 RBI in 84 at-bats following his callup last season. "He needs to swing some more," Baker said. "I talked to him about that. Strikeouts aren't the only criteria. I'd like to see him more aggressive." Baker doesn't want Votto, Adam Dunn or anyone else taking called third strikes. "I really, really hate the called third strike," Baker said. "I hate that. You're guess and you ain't ready to hit." That Scott Hatteberg rarely strikes out makes Votto a particularly risky pick this year.

Hatteberg also takes a lot of pitches though. Dusty might be driven insane. Anyone seen Randall Simon lately?

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

if you want your blood to boil while projectile vomiting...

Watch The Rezzidunce endorse McCrazy...
Scroll down past Hillary (yuch!):

Among the many insane things said here, the craziest is always when Dumbya talks about "respecting life":

" to have a culture that respects the dignity of every human being."

By every, of course, he only means rich phokks who might give him some money. How about those children not getting health care through S-CHIP? How's their dignity, Mr. President? Oh yeah, FUCK YOU, KIDS! The soldiers in Iraq? the veterans back home? FUCK YOU, too, suckers! The thousands of dead Iraqis? FUCK YOU--they don't even count as human beings, everybody knows dat. ETC. Well, i can't wait to see Mr. FUCKFACE on the campaign trail trying to scare up votes (literally) for McCryptkeeper...

now batting fifth for the appears...a blimp

According to the Washington Post, the Nationals are both disappointed and understanding that Dmitri Young was unable to drop wait [sic] over the winter. Young, who was diagnosed with diabetes in 2006, says he's learned to eat right, but he still reported to camp at 298 pounds, up slightly from the end of last season. Because of all the weight he's carrying, he might be as much of a breakdown candidate as Nick Johnson. He's already dealing with a rib-cage strain that's cost him five days.

Rotoworld has him listed at 245. Ryan Howard is at 252...

not sure how K-Mad is involved, but he is a Monk

Andy Sonnanstine is being treated for an ear infection he got by listening to his iPod. Sonnanstine said he fell asleep on the bus ride back from Sarasota on Friday wearing in-ear headphones, which led to some clogged pores, which led to the infection. He's not expected to miss any time.

there is another corner directly around this one (cont'd)

The Collapsing Myth of the Surge

if it's a day ending in the letter Y, John McCain must be flip-flopping (cont'd)

From Progress Report

"I do not agree with your sentiment that there has been widespread corruption [in Washington]. I just don't accept that."
-- Sen. John McCain (R-AZ), 3/4/08


"You've seen the corruption in Washington. We have former members of Congress in federal prison. ... [I]f anybody thinks that special interests didn't write legislation in Washington, they didn't work there."
-- McCain, 10/21/07

who's hating America today?

The good comrades of Brattleboro and Marlboro, Vt.

Vt. towns put Bush, Cheney on arrest list

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

while we're at it...

Texas - also brain-dead. thank you please.

From the New York Times:

Mrs. Clinton is glowing: “For everyone in America who has been counted out but refused to be knocked out, and for everyone who has stumbled but stood right back up and for everyone who works hard and never gives up, this one is for you!..."

Shut up.

This is so fucking condescending it makes me want to spit hairballs at her. Her story's about as dramatic as a Ford commercial.

Why does Ohio always, always, always fuck up?

The idea I would have to vote for her for the sake of the Supreme Court pains me. Deeply.

in SHOCKING breaking news...

BREAKING NEWS: Ballot shortages reported in some Ohio precincts; polls stay open late

Well, historically speaking, this democracy thing is new. We've only been at this for over 200 years. We will GET 'R DONE eventually. You'll see! You gotta break a few eggs to make an omelet. Or some s#i+... Jesus H. Christ, we SUCK.

Er, and Ohio - WTF? Every freakin' election it's the same thing with you. Is there something in the water in Lake Erie? Someone throw me a bone here... really, why does Ohio suck so much at this voting thing? Fitting that it's the "Mother of Presidents," the "Cradle of Coaches," the "King of the Idiots"....

inside the mind of the reader

Here is the full list of the "most read" items at

* Marines Outraged by Puppy-Throwing Video; Investigation Heats Up
* California High School Football Star Gunned Down in Random Gang Attack
* Cops: No Suspects, Few Clues, No Motive in Memphis Slaying
* YouTube Gets Slammed for Video Showing British Mom's Gang Rape
* Washington Soldier Accused of Killing 2, Pouring Acid on Bodies
* Report: School Janitor Nabbed in Teen Sex Sting
* Report: Racy Pics of 'American Idol' Contestant Ramiele Malubay Appear on Web
* Report: Big Breasts Win Verdict for Model
* Six-Legged Octopus Discovered at English Aquarium
* Britney Spears, Jessica Simpson — They Weren't First
* Off-Duty Chicago Police Officer Tasered After Arrest Struggle, Spitting on Paramedic
* Pop Tarts: Lindsay Lohan Behaving Badly? Plus, Playboy Wants to Talk to Her
* Police Say Couple Spent Weeks Planning Bloody Texas Attack on Family
* Global Warming: Is It Really a Crisis?
* Wikipedia Founder's Fling With Columnist Ends in Nasty Public Breakup
* Group of California Teens Accused of Raping Two Girls, Ages 14 and 15

the internets should be run more like a business

annudder socialist dik "dik" (dik) dik diktat

i smell breakout... or maybe a fire...

News item: CTA vows 'breakout year' for service fixes

(Crain’s) — The Chicago Transit Authority’s new boss Tuesday promised riders a specific set of service improvements — including a near-end to bus bunching and slow zones on el trains — that they will be able to count on seeing no more than 18 months from now.

Damn, that's a long year...

Also: do numbers go that high?

In another change, electronic schedule boards telling riders how long it will be until their train arrives should be installed in every el station within 18 months, Mr. Huberman said.

"Your train will arrive in... 18 months..."

blah blah blah blah

Stone joins Sox full time

here's anudder query

"I live in Ohio or Texas, am I brain-dead?"

But much of Obama's traffic is about topics he'd rather avoid. Yahoo! analyst Vera H-C Chan says people in Ohio and Texas are still scouting out rumors about Obama, as reflected in queries like "barack obama muslim," "obama's church," "obama antichrist," "barack obama muslim school," and the straightforward question, "is obama a christian or a muslim?"

it's still, like, really cold out dere... so den derefore....

‘We Should Be Worried About Global Cooling’

Monday, March 3, 2008

Smiff is going to send them a few bucks...

Watch it...

60 Minutes: Charity Trying To Make Up For Failing U.S. Health Care System

Of course, we still have the best health care system in the world. And, by best, i mean absolutely the most pathetic for the richest country in the world. And, by richest, i mean most in debt. And, by most in debt, i mean thanks, Dumbya! And by Dumbya, i mean the idiotic, brainless moron "running" the country...

Is dis one of the signs of the End Times?

I will defer to our resident End Times expert, Mr. McClure...

Six-legged 'hexapus' claimed as world first in Britain

British marine experts have found what they claim is a world first -- a six-legged octopus, or "hexapus," whom they have christened Henry.

The unique sea creature, which has two limbs fewer than a normal octopus, is believed to be the result of a birth defect rather than an accident, say his keepers at the Blackpool Sea Life Centre in northwest England.

"We've scoured the Internet and talked to lots of other aquariums and no-one has ever heard of another case of a six-legged octopus," said supervisor Carey Duckhouse.

Henry was discovered in a lobster pot off the north Wales coast two weeks ago, and was one of eight creatures that Sea Life staff picked up from a local marine zoo there -- where staff hadn't noticed his missing legs.

It was only when he attached himself to the inside of a glass tank that Sea Life staff noticed he was two limbs short of a full set. Octopuses are renowned for having three hearts and blue blood, but not usually six legs.

"He's a lovely little thing," said a spokeswoman, adding that he will go on display to the public later this month.

Is one of the tools getting injured? how about all five?

Milton Bradley on, what else, Milton Bradley:
"You take my last five years, and put those numbers and put them over a 162-game season, I'm pretty damn good. Let's be honest--I'm a five-tool guy here. There is no risk. You pay me $5 million as a five-tool guy, I'm underpaid. What other five-tool guys are there? Jimmy Rollins? Carlos Beltrán? Look what they're making. Look what I'm making. So I'm a steal, I'm a bargain, in my words."

Er, crazy much? First, his career high in stolen bases is 17. He's had 10 or more three times. So, speed is not one of the tools. Career .273 hitter. Hitting for average? Not one of the tools. His HR total pro-rated over a 162 game season is 19 (also his single season high). Along with a career .439 SLG%, power is also not a tool. (Rollins, a SHORTSTOP, has a career .441 SLG%). How about fielding? Slightly above average RF, though with a slightly below average fielding %. Call him average. Throwing arm? Career high in assists is 9.

"There is no risk." He's played over 101 games in a season ONCE in his career.

I would say the five tools he's referencing are: getting injured, spending weeks every year on the DL, whining, "domestic disputes," and being a GIGANTIC ASSHOLE. Granted, he was the best hitter on the Padres last year WHEN HE WAS IN THE LINEUP. When they needed him the last week, he blew up at an umpire and got injured after he fell down when HIS MANAGER TOUCHED HIM. And then--SHOCKINGLY--they didn't resign him.

Sunday, March 2, 2008

Train Wreck...

One of the kids should be counting pedals from a flower in her sleep...

The only thing I don't like about this little mash-up is they leave out the final image of Hillary used in the original ad - the one with the humorously fashionable glasses, the practiced look of quiet intensity and the well placed jewelery at three in the morning.