Thursday, September 25, 2008

suction (things that suck)

5:17 PM me: Brett Myers? SUCKS.
Kevin: not now - working on inspiring LoC post...
democracy hangs in the balance...
must... save... the people...
5:18 PM me: i'll say, it could all hinge on that post
Kevin: i phink so
5:27 PM me: fuckface working on a 9 hitter thru 4 IP
Steve Carlton he ain't
Kevin: he's crafty
me: anudder big fly for Howard
5:34 PM me: shockingly, assface gives up another run
also, Big Z: the big sucking
5:35 PM Kevin: you're just setting yourself up for a spectacular phillytastic disappointment
5:36 PM me: total body weight loss tomorrow:
The Brewers will have Yovani Gallardo start Thursday's game against the Reds.T
BOOM
Kevin: yes
5:37 PM me: GUONE:
- C. Durbin relieved B. Myers
Kevin: bout phokking time
5:43 PM me: well now, you laid America bare wiff dat last post
5:47 PM apparently, David Letterman is going to crush McCain for cancelling on him
also, this just in: i am going the fuck home
5:48 PM zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Kevin: bout phokking time
i did didnt i?
me: then there's this crap:
- C. Durbin relieved B. Myers
- C. Ruiz catching
- O. Infante reached on fielder's choice, B. McCann scored, C. Kotchman to second on first baseman R. Howard's throwing error
- J. Francoeur struck out swinging
- B. Jones singled to left, C. Kotchman scored, O. Infante to second
fuck it, i'm gone
5:48 PM Kevin: shocking
da phokking thing SUCKS
~~~~~
7:23 PM me: Jeff Samardzija SUCKS
Kevin: smiff is angry?
me: YOU SUCK
Kevin: me?
YOU suck
7:24 PM me: EVERYTHING SUCKS
Kevin: on this we can agree
7:25 PM me: but at least i didn't watch President SUCKS
7:26 PM Kevin: mccain is: a) senile b) insane c) drunk d) a titanic asshole on a gargantuan scale of yoogeness e) all of the above
7:31 PM me: liar? no lying liar deres?
7:32 PM Kevin: guess dat poll needs some shakin up an some fixin
7:35 PM me: Couric: I’m just going to ask you one more time - not to belabor the point. Specific examples in his 26 years of pushing for more regulation.
Palin: I’ll try to find you some and I’ll bring them to you.
Kevin: to be fair, i would have flubbed that question too
7:45 PM me: Bob Howry about to SUCK
next job for Bush: new GM of the Detroit Lions
7:46 PM Kevin: that would be a black hole of suck
7:52 PM me: Mets SUCK AGAIN. Runner at 3rd, no outs, don't score.
Kevin: its like they had persistent SUCKS
7:53 PM me: Ramon Castro WHIFFS wiff bases loaded
7:54 PM This just in:
your Chicago White Sox SUCK
Kevin: massively
me: SWEPT by the Pirahnas (wrong again--ed.)
Did Ozzie make a choking sign after the game?
7:56 PM Kevin: why were they in first to begin with?
me: KO replacing McCain on Letterman tonight
Kevin: yeah dat sounds good
me: more news on Palin's witch doctor
Kevin: dat dude sounds purdy creepy
7:57 PM me: he's the Alan Keyes of witch doctors
Kevin: i phink dat nails it
8:02 PM me: speaking of SUCKING:
Homunculi in 5th
Kevin: yeah dat totally sucks...
8:05 PM me: McCain took time out of his day to meet with Lady de Rothschilde
who SUCKS
Kevin: but is not an elitist
8:07 PM me: Mets' Luis Ayala SUCKS
Kevin: you really hate the mets
8:10 PM me: something that doesn't suck: this tasty $7 pinot
WAH ROH:
Wootz is in...
8:11 PM Kevin: youre missing a delightful phokking merlot here
me: Oct 16th: lots of drinking begins
Kevin: will the living envy the dead?
me: a good chance
8:16 PM Mets lose - THEY SUCK
8:17 PM Kevin: toad ya
8:20 PM me: 54,416 LOSER Muts fanz
Kevin: its shocking how much they suck
8:21 PM you cant blame them for wanting to squeeze in one last visit to shangri-la
me: aka The DUMP
8:24 PM Holy Crap:
8:25 PM Phil Hughes pitched well tonight
Kevin: expect something gruesome
8:33 PM me: here's a surprise:
Jonathon Sanchez totally SUCKED tonight
Kevin: we hatesez him
8:49 PM me: the Fant Effect: every player i've picked up this month has gotten inured:
Willy Taveras is done for the season because of a stress fracture in his right lower leg.
Kevin: how is smiff to blame?
me: i know you?
Kevin: dat would do it
8:56 PM me: in related news:
Cameron Maybin left Wednesday’s game in the sixth inning due to a stiff left hip.
8:57 PM Kevin: are wheelchairs allowed on the field?
me: not yet
Kevin: shit
8:58 PM me: Bush: "business that make bad decisions should fail"...like ALL of his businesses, inc. his presidency - WHAT A PHOKKING MORON
he SSSSSSSSSSSSSSUCKS
8:59 PM Kevin: it makes my head want to explode
9:00 PM me: K. Correia: 1 IP, 6 runs...all YOU
Kevin: i guess... he was so last year tho
9:16 PM me: Yahoo SUCKS
Kevin: now what?
9:17 PM me: fantasy section is down
9:18 PM Kevin: dats ok - letterman is HATING on mccain
and here comes ko
9:19 PM me: YAY
9:21 PM Kevin: letterman: "this just stinks..."
9:42 PM me: Yahoo still SUCKS
9:43 PM Kevin: no question

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