Monday, January 28, 2008

Lies, Damn Lies And

Clemens' agent releases report refuting steroid allegations

NEW YORK - Roger Clemens' agent released an 18,000-word statistical report Monday to refute allegations that the pitcher's career rebounded around the time period he was accused of using performance-enhancing drugs.

"Clemens' longevity was due to his ability to adjust his style of pitching as he got older, incorporating his very effective split-finger fastball to offset the decrease in the speed of his regular fastball caused by aging," said the report, created by Randy Hendricks and two associates at his firm.

Oh yeah. THAT explains it. You know, like Jordan switching from his high flying style to the fadeaway jump shot. Exactly the same thing. Case closed.

I'm sorry, but you can't produce a statistical report that proves no steroid use. You just can't. You can MAYBE show that on average a pitcher's fastball decreases by x MPH as they get older, and Clemens was on target, or something like that, but that doesn't PROVE it. The bottom line is that there was no testing back then, so we will never know for sure. All you can do is say you didn't take steroids, that other guy is lying, and I'm gonna sue his ass. But this bullshit stat report (and I haven't even read it yet) is bullshit.

I'll let the experts of the LoC dissect the report...

Click here for report

2 comments:

Corms said...

I really have no inclination to read anything that Clemens and his minions puts out, it's about as worthy of my time as reading a Hillary position paper.

Smiff said...

Did they slide through it?