I phink da tarrists have gotten to Bush

He's acting sorta like da guy on da right...

More s#i+ blowing up -- not??

Israel asked US for green light to bomb nuclear sites in Iran
US president told Israeli prime minister he would not back attack on Iran, senior European diplomatic sources tell Guardian

SHOCKING news on today's Scum-Slimes front page!

Biggest bank failure in US history - see page 35

FW: Fwd: MUST-SEE VIDEO! OBAMA'S CRAZY KENYAN PASTOR TRIES TO PROTECT HIM FROM WITCHCRAFT!

Not found on MyRightWingDad.net, but I wish it were.

The original video. Even if you've seen it once, see it again: laughter is good for the soul...

Things nerds think about

For Better or Worse, Sex in Space Is Inevitable
Sex in space could be right around the corner.

Fungster now considering whether, for a free trip to space, he would volunteer for to be the guinea pig. Well I suppose it depends on the counterpart now doesn't it? Then again, I'm sure they'd go to the porn stars before asking moi...

Crooks & Liars reading LoC, but then again who isn't?

John McCain is headed to Ole Miss finally, wins the debate before it even begins!

Another ad spotted by our eagle-eyed observer featured a quote from McCain campaign manager Rick Davis declaring: "McCain won the debate--hands down."

~

this is probably nothing to worry about (cont'd)

News item: Pirates seize ship carrying tanks

Has Fung started drinking?

Man farts at officer, charged with battery

Iowa Police Say Drunk Driver Tried to Bribe Officer With Sandwiches
~

Fung? Briggsy? certainly not...Smiff

Facebook profiles can reveal narcissism, study suggests

~

where on earth are we going to find seven... HUNDRED... BEEEEEEELLLLION DOLLARS??

"[t]otal Iraq war requests and authorizations have amounted to $624 billion." (That was in February.)

living the bulls#i+ -- McCain wins!

He can actually communicate bulls#i+ backwards in time from the future. Take that, Bush!

one of the more remarkable accomplishments of the Palin-McCain ticket... I'm sorry, I mean McCain-Palin...

Making Paris Hilton appear clever.

How are Fung and K-Mad to blame?

Chi White Sox 6 (86-72)
Minnesota 7 (87-72)
Final 10

never mind all this bulls#i+ - here's what I'd like to know: which candidate is most adept at blasting tasty ducks out of the sky?

Dat's da Cubs' bullpen? MF@

Bot 7th: NY Mets
- J. Reyes grounded out to shortstop, R. Cancel scored
Bot 8th: NY Mets
- R. Martinez singled to left, C. Beltran scored, R. Church to second
- R. Cancel singled to right, R. Church scored, R. Martinez to third
Bot 9th: NY Mets
- C. Beltran singled to right, J. Reyes scored, C. Delgado to second
Chi Cubs 6, NY Mets 7

In unrelated news: Fants kill another player. This one lasted one at bat. He replaced Willy Tavares, who broke his leg before even appearing. Considering whether to next end Rajai Davis's career, or Josh Anderson's .

PITTSBUGH'S NYJER MORGAN LEFT THE GAME IN THE TOP OF THE FIRST INNING DUE TO AN APPARENT RIGHT HAMSTRING INJURY.

~

Anyone seen The Elf lately? or, better yet, The Elf's wife?

What Campaign Ads Would Look Like If the Voting Age Was 6

America wants to know

So are we having a phokking debate tomorrow night or not?

Maybe this guy can help the economy?

Sarah Palin's witch hunter...



Yes, can you imagine if this video was of Obama? Bill O'Reilly's head would explode on the air...
~

suction (things that suck)

5:17 PM me: Brett Myers? SUCKS.
Kevin: not now - working on inspiring LoC post...
democracy hangs in the balance...
must... save... the people...
5:18 PM me: i'll say, it could all hinge on that post
Kevin: i phink so
5:27 PM me: fuckface working on a 9 hitter thru 4 IP
Steve Carlton he ain't
Kevin: he's crafty
me: anudder big fly for Howard
5:34 PM me: shockingly, assface gives up another run
also, Big Z: the big sucking
5:35 PM Kevin: you're just setting yourself up for a spectacular phillytastic disappointment
5:36 PM me: total body weight loss tomorrow:
The Brewers will have Yovani Gallardo start Thursday's game against the Reds.T
BOOM
Kevin: yes
5:37 PM me: GUONE:
- C. Durbin relieved B. Myers
Kevin: bout phokking time
5:43 PM me: well now, you laid America bare wiff dat last post
5:47 PM apparently, David Letterman is going to crush McCain for cancelling on him
also, this just in: i am going the fuck home
5:48 PM zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Kevin: bout phokking time
i did didnt i?
me: then there's this crap:
- C. Durbin relieved B. Myers
- C. Ruiz catching
- O. Infante reached on fielder's choice, B. McCann scored, C. Kotchman to second on first baseman R. Howard's throwing error
- J. Francoeur struck out swinging
- B. Jones singled to left, C. Kotchman scored, O. Infante to second
fuck it, i'm gone
5:48 PM Kevin: shocking
da phokking thing SUCKS
~~~~~
7:23 PM me: Jeff Samardzija SUCKS
Kevin: smiff is angry?
me: YOU SUCK
Kevin: me?
YOU suck
7:24 PM me: EVERYTHING SUCKS
Kevin: on this we can agree
7:25 PM me: but at least i didn't watch President SUCKS
7:26 PM Kevin: mccain is: a) senile b) insane c) drunk d) a titanic asshole on a gargantuan scale of yoogeness e) all of the above
7:31 PM me: liar? no lying liar deres?
7:32 PM Kevin: guess dat poll needs some shakin up an some fixin
7:35 PM me: Couric: I’m just going to ask you one more time - not to belabor the point. Specific examples in his 26 years of pushing for more regulation.
Palin: I’ll try to find you some and I’ll bring them to you.
Kevin: to be fair, i would have flubbed that question too
7:45 PM me: Bob Howry about to SUCK
next job for Bush: new GM of the Detroit Lions
7:46 PM Kevin: that would be a black hole of suck
7:52 PM me: Mets SUCK AGAIN. Runner at 3rd, no outs, don't score.
Kevin: its like they had persistent SUCKS
7:53 PM me: Ramon Castro WHIFFS wiff bases loaded
7:54 PM This just in:
your Chicago White Sox SUCK
Kevin: massively
me: SWEPT by the Pirahnas (wrong again--ed.)
Did Ozzie make a choking sign after the game?
7:56 PM Kevin: why were they in first to begin with?
me: KO replacing McCain on Letterman tonight
Kevin: yeah dat sounds good
me: more news on Palin's witch doctor
Kevin: dat dude sounds purdy creepy
7:57 PM me: he's the Alan Keyes of witch doctors
Kevin: i phink dat nails it
8:02 PM me: speaking of SUCKING:
Homunculi in 5th
Kevin: yeah dat totally sucks...
8:05 PM me: McCain took time out of his day to meet with Lady de Rothschilde
who SUCKS
Kevin: but is not an elitist
8:07 PM me: Mets' Luis Ayala SUCKS
Kevin: you really hate the mets
8:10 PM me: something that doesn't suck: this tasty $7 pinot
WAH ROH:
Wootz is in...
8:11 PM Kevin: youre missing a delightful phokking merlot here
me: Oct 16th: lots of drinking begins
Kevin: will the living envy the dead?
me: a good chance
8:16 PM Mets lose - THEY SUCK
8:17 PM Kevin: toad ya
8:20 PM me: 54,416 LOSER Muts fanz
Kevin: its shocking how much they suck
8:21 PM you cant blame them for wanting to squeeze in one last visit to shangri-la
me: aka The DUMP
8:24 PM Holy Crap:
8:25 PM Phil Hughes pitched well tonight
Kevin: expect something gruesome
8:33 PM me: here's a surprise:
Jonathon Sanchez totally SUCKED tonight
Kevin: we hatesez him
8:49 PM me: the Fant Effect: every player i've picked up this month has gotten inured:
Willy Taveras is done for the season because of a stress fracture in his right lower leg.
Kevin: how is smiff to blame?
me: i know you?
Kevin: dat would do it
8:56 PM me: in related news:
Cameron Maybin left Wednesday’s game in the sixth inning due to a stiff left hip.
8:57 PM Kevin: are wheelchairs allowed on the field?
me: not yet
Kevin: shit
8:58 PM me: Bush: "business that make bad decisions should fail"...like ALL of his businesses, inc. his presidency - WHAT A PHOKKING MORON
he SSSSSSSSSSSSSSUCKS
8:59 PM Kevin: it makes my head want to explode
9:00 PM me: K. Correia: 1 IP, 6 runs...all YOU
Kevin: i guess... he was so last year tho
9:16 PM me: Yahoo SUCKS
Kevin: now what?
9:17 PM me: fantasy section is down
9:18 PM Kevin: dats ok - letterman is HATING on mccain
and here comes ko
9:19 PM me: YAY
9:21 PM Kevin: letterman: "this just stinks..."
9:42 PM me: Yahoo still SUCKS
9:43 PM Kevin: no question

The Horror, The Horror...

the RezzziDUNCE speaks

Only one label applies...

stupid: the noun, or, crackers who don't care how flamboyantly America fails as long as they get to keep their guns

They're real patriotic down deres in Pennsylvania, though maybe not real crowded wif brainzzz (Philadelphia and Pittsburgh with Alabama in between, as Carville described it).

Even with little enthusiasm, Brandenburg — a Democrat — is sticking with his party. But plenty of his friends in southwestern Pennsylvania are very enthusiastic about Sarah Palin.

"There's a lot of them who are going to vote for her and McCain because of the hunting issue," he said.

So let's see... the national debt is $3279 for every man woman and child in America (if we all became $100-an-hour hookers we'd all have to work 33 hours straight in order to pay it off, in case you're trying to visualize it), we're getting our asses kicked in Iraq and Afghanistan now with Pakistan soon to follow, Iran and Norf Korea are waving their nukyalar weapons under our noses, the whole economy is going down the tubes, the dollar is losing value against Monopoly money, not to mention the accelerating extinction of all insects, plants, amphibians, and mammals on the planet, the possibility of an all-Chicago World Series, and all they're interested in is which candidate is more likely to embrace their God-given right to blow the brains out of God's little creatures (cuz they're, like, Christians an' s#i+)? Well, that explains... everything.

It's official: Brett Myers SUCKS again

Top 1st: Atlanta
- J. Anderson doubled to deep right center
- K. Johnson singled to shallow right, J. Anderson to third
- M. Prado singled to center, J. Anderson scored, K. Johnson to third
- B. McCann struck out looking, M. Prado stole second
- C. Kotchman singled to right, K. Johnson scored, M. Prado to third
- O. Infante grounded into double play pitcher to shortstop to first, C. Kotchman out at second
2 runs, 4 hits, 0 errors
Atlanta 2, Philadelphia 0
~

Smiff writing for Huffington?

...one of the main reasons why the nation appears to be lining up against Senator McCain's insanely obvious lack of integrity could be because his very serious and mavericky campaign strategy can be described in four simple words:

Blurt Out Random Crap.

and now a word from off the LoC

briggs: he wants to put off the debate
chill: because of the economic crises?
briggs: "yes."
chill: is he the chairman of the fed now or something?
briggs: well he's going to be president in four months
chill: maybe Sarah has been to a bank in Alaska before and can solve the whole thing herself
briggs: lol

seven and a half years into this s#i+ and suddenly he figures out we're totally phokked?

News item: McCain suspends campaign, calls for Obama to do same
McCain: campaign can wait, crisis is 'historic'

#1 Woe: Me!

On da udder hand, you voted for it, you got it...Suckers!

Bush to address nation tonight on economy woes (AP)
AP - President Bush readied a prime time speech to the nation and Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson accepted a major change in legislation for a $700 billion bailout of the financial industry on Wednesday as the administration scrambled to prevent further deterioration in the economy.
~

Ok, maybe God screwed up by choosing Bush to be 43rd president, but now he says Palin should be 45th, and I say He deserves another chance

Behind the Christian right's enthusiasm for Palin's conservative credentials is a visceral sense that that she has come from them, not to them. Some right-wing evangelicals even believe she has messianic potential. As former Christian Broadcasting Network vice president Jim Bramlett wrote, "Sarah is that standard God has raised up to stop the flood. She has the anointing."

"I wouldn't wanna do anything to hurt God. He's got enough trouble with the Russians and all."
-- Beaver Cleaver

House Republicans - wid da tarrists

House GOP rises up against Cheney

The vice president traveled to Capitol Hill on Tuesday to silence a chorus of GOP complaints about Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson’s $700 billion plan. But House Republicans who walked into a closed-door meeting with Cheney steaming over the plan walked out just as angry, and they described what happened in between as both “a bloodbath” and “an unmitigated disaster.”

A day late and a petrodollar short

Compliment of the day dearest Hank,

I am writing this letter in confidence believing that if it is realy the wish of God for you to help me and my country, God almighty will bless and reward you abundantly.I am from a true Christian country that worship God truthfully. I got your contact address from our central office during my research on someone who could help us. Firstly,I must introduce myself, My name is Mrs Sarah Plain, widow to Dude Plain whom i lost a couple of weeks ago. My husband was a dearest one serving director of the government of Alaska Petro-exporting board until his disappearance, he was vanished by the media during the political uprising in Wasilly.

Before his vanishing he had an account where he deposited 7,000,000,000.00 Dollars which he wanted to use to purchase snow machine abroad for his intended personal use. Being that this part of the world experiences political crises time without number, there is no guarantee of lives and property. I don't know how and what I will do to invest this money somewhere in abroad, so that my husband's allies will not take over what belongs to the people, which they were planning to do without my present because I am a widow as stated by our culture.

They have succeeded in taken over all my husband's properties, but do not know of this Fund in the bank.That is why I felt happy when I saw your contact which I strongly believe that by the grace of God, you will help me secure and invest this money in your country.I thereby need your help in securing this money to a safe bank account in your country or any safer place as my husband's Russian business partners because I cannot invest this money here any longer, despite it has been my husband's plan .Based on your reply I will furnish you with more details. Do also let me know of how much percentage you will take for handling this for me, which you will strongly have absolute control over.

If you can handle this project sincerely and also willing to assist me in lifting this fund,kindly reach me urgently with your contact number and I will let you know in detail and also inform you of the bank where my husband deposited the money so that you can contact them for them to transfer the money to you as quickly as possible. Please note that this transaction is 100% risk free and I will be delighted to forward the depository documents to you in my next mail for your perusal.

I give thanks immensely for your coperation as I look forward to hearing from you soonest.

Thanks and may God Bless you.

Sincerely,
Mrs.Sarah Plain

Useless Factoids (cont)

Fung was snoring while reading one of them baseball articles, when he noticed that the link that took you to a player's stat page had a number for the player, you know, as opposed to his name. So it was sports.yahoo.com/mlb/players/4701 as opposed to sports.yahoo.com/mlb/players/jimthome. Which got Fung thinking, who's #1? Well, see for yourself...

http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/players/1

This was the same for CNN/SI, I didn't check ESPN. I'm sure your life will be that much more fulfilled with this new factoid...

I encourage you to do silly things like find out who's #23, #666, #31 etc. Gotta be more fun than watching the White Sox last night in the Metrodome...

this is probably nothing to worry about (cont'd)

Pakistan recovers 'US spy drone'

*sigh* here we go again...

The Twelve Lies Of Sarah Palin

"These are not hyperbolic claims or rhetorical excess. They are assertions of fact that are demonstrably untrue and remain uncorrected. Every single one of the lies I documented holds up after several news cycles have had a chance to vet them even further... So for the record, let it be known that the candidate for vice-president for the GOP is a compulsive, repetitive, demonstrable liar."

The things that are true are about the past. The things we want to be true are about the future. She's looking forward. We can change the things that were true in the past into things that we want to be true in the future. That's real change!

totally ripped off from anudder blog

Dear American:

I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude.

I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 700 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you.

I am working with Mr. Phil Gramm, lobbyist for UBS, who will be my replacement as Ministry of the Treasury in January. As a Senator, you may know him as the leader of the American banking deregulation movement in the 1990s. This transaction is 100% safe.

This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check. We need the funds as quickly as possible. We cannot directly transfer these funds in the names of our close friends because we are constantly under surveillance. My family lawyer advised me that I should look for a reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the funds can be transferred.

Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to wallstreetbailout@treasury.gov so that we may transfer your commission for this transaction. After I receive that information, I will respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds.

Yours Faithfully Minister of Treasury Henry Frankenstein Paulson

~

someone better let the RezzziDUNCE, Sec. Paulson, Congressional supporters & McCain (depends on who he's pandering to that day) know

"We do not support government bailouts of private institutions. Government interference in the markets exacerbates problems in the marketplace and causes the free market to take longer to correct itself."--2008 Republican Platform

~

Got (human) milk?

PETA to Ben & Jerry - Use Human Milk

WTF is wrong with the Swiss? Neutral Phokks!

Add "common sense" to the list of things that ain't what they used to be...

Daley makes 'stupid face' to questions about his brother's relationship with Obama.
Daley blasts McCain ad
The mayor teed off today on John McCain for including his brother in a negative ad about Barack Obama's Chicago political roots. Daley warned that McCain has his own vulnerabilities, and said, "When you start throwing mud, mud is going to be thrown at you and it's going to be sticky."
Daley: Cut beer sales near ballparks (funny, funny stuff--ed.)
"What we're asking is common sense. You can drink as much beer for seven innings as you want," Daley said. "Give me a break. This is common sense, that's all it is. We're asking for the cooperation of everyone."
Asked what he would tell business owners who fear a loss of business, Daley replied, "I'll have somebody buy their place tomorrow ... If you've been drinking for five hours and you're laying on the floor, don't give that person another beer.
"I mean, give me a break ... It's not going to cost them any business. They made enough money all year, I'm sorry. We're just talking about common sense."
~

Good chance to move your illiquid s#i+

Come now some people offering to help you securitize your junk.

watching flies phokk: the dramatic backstory

Today's fact: The Golf Channel has reality TV programs.

these labels SUCK

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I'm still not much of a believer in this PECOTA... I'm more of a believer in GUTS

From February 26:

Baseball Prospectus is not prepared to call the 2008 Tampa Bay Rays the best team in the AL, but its PECOTA projection system, which precisely predicted the White Sox' stunning 18-win falloff last season, forecasts an 88-74 finish for baseball's perennial bottom-feeders, a 22-win jump from 2007...

It's audacious to project an increase of 22 wins for any club, but when this much young talent coalesces so quickly, it's time to believe.

Current record with 6 games remaining: 93-62

liberal media HATING McCain camp just because they get a little confused about the facts sometimes

I guess we'll have to keep explaining to them over and over the difference between factual truth and emotional truth.

Sen. John McCain’s top campaign aides convened a conference call today to complain of being called “liars.” They pressed the media to scrutinize specific elements of Sen. Barack Obama’s record.

But the call was so rife with simple, often inexplicable misstatements of fact that it may have had the opposite effect: to deepen the perception, dangerous to McCain, that he and his aides have little regard for factual accuracy.

The errors in McCain strategist Steve Schmidt’s charges against Obama and Sen. Joe Biden were particularly notable because they seemed unnecessary. Schmidt repeatedly gilded the lily: He exaggerated the Biden family's already problematic ties to the credit card industry; Obama’s embarrassing relationship with a 1960s radical; and an Obama supporter’s over-the-top attack on Sarah Palin when — in each case — the truth would have been damaging enough.

“Any time the Obama campaign is criticized at any level, the critics are immediately derided as liars,” Schmidt told reporters. (Yeah! And since you always lie about us being liars, that means every time you accuse us of lying, you're lying again, so we're not the liars, you're the liars - LIARS! Ed.)

But as he went on to list a series of stories he thought reporters should be writing about Obama and Biden, in almost every instance he got the details wrong.

on the bright side, think of it as global trickle-down

It's not like we were gonna need it anyway...

$13 Billion in Iraq Aid Wasted Or Stolen, Ex-Investigator Says

A former Iraqi official estimated yesterday that more than $13 billion meant for reconstruction projects in Iraq was wasted or stolen through elaborate fraud schemes.

Salam Adhoob, a former chief investigator for Iraq's Commission on Public Integrity, told the Senate Democratic Policy Committee, an arm of the Democratic caucus, that an Iraqi auditing bureau "could not properly account for" the money.

While many of the projects audited "were not needed -- and many were never built," he said, "this very real fact remains: Billions of American dollars that paid for these projects are now gone."

Offered Without Comment

Apparently I'm leading the voting for Douche of the Week...

What club would this be?

As opposed to the Mile High club, I mean. In any case, they're now in a different club...


Train crushes railway sex couple

A couple in South Africa who were having sex on a railway track in Mpumalanga Province have been killed by a goods train, police say.

Spokesman Abie Khoabane said it took place on Friday evening and the victims were yet to be identified.

He told local newspapers that the couple ignored the driver's shouts as he moved the train into the disused station in Kinross town.

"They continued with their business," he told the Sowetan paper.

According to South Africa's Beeld newspaper, the area was deserted with no cars or houses nearby.

The man died at the scene and the woman died later at hospital, the Sowetan reports.

The police have appealed for those with missing relatives to come forward to help with their investigation.

perhaps we should amend the Defense of Marriage Act

News item: A NEW survey conducted for Sheraton Hotels & Resorts finds that over a third of smart phone users would pick their BlackBerry over their significant other if they absolutely had to choose one to live without...

so it's good that FEMA sucks?

I think we can safely grasp the theme of Thomas Frank's book - HATE.

"The best public servant is the worst one. A thoroughly first-rate man in public service is corrosive. He eats holes in our liberties. The better he is and the longer he stays the greater the danger. If he is an enthusiast -- a bright-eyed madman who is frantic to make this the finest government in the world -- the black plague is a house pet by comparison."

But the onrushing flow swamps all taxonomies. Mass firing of federal prosecutors; bribing of newspaper columnists; pallets of shrink-wrapped cash "misplaced" in Iraq; inexperienced kids running the Baghdad stock exchange; the discovery that many of Alaska's leading politicians are apparently on the take -- our heads swim. We climb to the rooftop, but we cannot find the heights of irony from which we might laugh off the blend of thug and Pharisee that was Tom DeLay -- or dispel the nauseating suspicion, quickly becoming a certainty, that the government of our nation deliberately fibbed us into a pointless, catastrophic war...

Which leaves us to marvel helplessly at what appears to be a spectacular run of lousy luck. My, what a lot of bad apples they are growing these days!

liberal media descends to name-calling

Now they're saying McCain is unhinged.

"It is arguable that, because of his inexperience, Obama is not ready for the presidency. It is arguable that McCain, because of his boiling moralism and bottomless reservoir of certitudes, is not suited to the presidency. Unreadiness can be corrected, although perhaps at great cost, by experience. Can a dismaying temperament be fixed?"

Then again, what would you expect from...



Oh... never mind...

NYT hails deafening white noise as killer combination of "overtones" and "subtones"

Earplugs were justified. My Bloody Valentine ended its terrific set with a version of “You Made Me Realise” that incorporated a flat-out 17-minute roar: Kevin Shields and Bilinda Butcher on guitars and Debbie Googe on bass scrabbling frantic, unremitting tremolos and Colm O Ciosoig battering his drums nonstop, with overtones and subtones rolling through the ballroom like tsunamis.

this is probably nothing to worry about

Patients Cut Back on Prescriptions, Doctor Visits Amid Tough Times

The health sector tends to be pretty resilient during economic downturns, because even in tight times, people generally make medical care a priority.

But this year things aren’t quite hewing to past form. A number of indicators show that patients, pressed by a combination of economic woes and shrinking health benefits, have been cutting back on care...

“Since I don’t work out of the home, it’s not that crucial” to have the cataract fixed, she reasons. “And I can drive with one eye.”

That's the American spirit! Our Noble Plutocrats are having to retire to eight-figure severance packages in total disgrace. In the big scheme of things, your ability to see isn't that important.

another hit coming for the economy...

Not to mention the LoC makeover...


Economists Warn Anti-Bush Merchandise Market Close To Collapse

LoC climbing my Google Shared Items chart

Overcoming Bias (59)
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Mugabe '08!

[S]ome surveys require no analysis whatsoever. A good example emerged earlier today from the American Research Group, which asked Americans a number of questions on an issue that has been dominating headlines of late. One of them — “Do you think the national economy is getting better, staying the same, or getting worse? — was answered thusly:

No Americans say that the national economy is getting better, 13% say it is staying the same, and 82% say the national economy is getting worse.

In other words, zilch, zero, nothing (apart from the 5 percent who remain undecided). Not one glass half-full among the 1,100 people surveyed. The ruling was unanimous, and also obvious — economic news is routinely bad these days...

It was also slightly more agreement than Zimbabweans could muster when asked about their own economy, which failed long ago. In August, a Gallup poll showed the country’s bleak views on the economy, but 1 percent of 1,000 polled somehow held the view that things were getting better.

untimely rumors in the news

Loan Titans Paid McCain Adviser Nearly $2 Million

Senator John McCain’s campaign manager was paid more than $30,000 a month for five years as president of an advocacy group set up by the mortgage giants Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac to defend them against stricter regulations, current and former officials say.

history schmistory

I'm sure that nice man Mister Angler will tell us everything we need to know...

Cheney Ordered to Preserve Records in Case Closely Watched by Academic Groups

Washington — A federal judge has ordered Vice President Dick Cheney to preserve all records that relate to his office and official duties pending the outcome of a lawsuit filed by a watchdog group and several scholarly associations.
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Why does the Republican Party STILL HATE the Bible?

News item: On Thursday, July 31, the House Financial Services Committee approved our priority Credit Cardholders’ Bill of Rights, HR 5244, on a 39-27 vote. The bill would ban the worst unfair credit card practices, such as raising your interest rate to 36% APR or more because your payment was as little as one hour late or because your credit score declined, even if you had a perfect payment history.

The bill has 155 co-sponsors... but only two Republicans?

Since they're the party of Jesus, there must be something in this bill Jesus wouldn't like. Let's see what the Bible has to say about usury...

Hmmm... still puzzling...
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they walk among us

News item: While 19% of the American public demonstrates a total lack of any cognitive function, they appear to go about their lives as usual.

Electoral College - The Tie

The US election nightmare scenario

A tie? Isn't that like, kissing your sister or something? Though 538 has the chances of a tie at just uder 1%. Wouldn't it be simple enough to give the rest of the US Territories like 3 electoral votes so we can get to an odd number and not have a tie? That way they have a stake in the election as well? Make everyone happy? Nope, that would be way too easy. So let's just leave things the way our Gods I mean Founding Fathers created them.

Also, can we find some Founding Mothers to add to the story? So we can have Founding Parents or something? You know, something a little more PC?

The fact of the matter is:

Yankee Stadium is a dump.

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Sam Donaldson: "Go on -- call me an 'ageist' or some s#i+." George Will: "McCain: unhinged."

I'm not sure NBC could get away with this amount of liberal hectoring...

tough one today

Tampa Bay 27

Chicago 24

Final - OT

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We can start calling it the "Bush bailout"

Yves Smith, in a long piece titled "Why You Should Hate the Treasury Bailout Proposal", points out this lovely section of the bailout legislation:

Decisions by the Secretary pursuant to the authority of this Act are non-reviewable and committed to agency discretion, and may not be reviewed by any court of law or any administrative agency.

Economist critics of the plan include Roubini, Krugman, Cowen, Mankiw, Zingales...that spans the spectrum, and I could go on.

When Idiotic Baseball Broadcasters Attack

Buck Martinez and Chip Caray wax idiotic on the perils of taking pitches. Is it a requirement of an "old school" guy like Martinez to dump on Moneyball during every broadcast? It must be in their contracts. "Moneyball bad...taking pitches bad...must be aggressive...I am a zombie..." Of course, he has probably never the read the book. At least he didn't say Billy Beane wrote it (like Joe Morgan). Alas, the reason for Toronto's turnaround this year? The hitters are being aggressive, therefore their batting averages have gone up. "Right here you don't want Lyle Overbay to walk because he can't steal a base, you want him to hit a double." Er, Buck, can't we say that about any hitter? Isn't a runner on 2nd ALWAYS better than a runner on 1st? Oh, i forgot, a player with speed ALWAYS steals 2nd base, so i guess it's okay if those guys walk. What if a pitcher isn't throwing strikes like Matsuzaka today? You still swing at pitches out of the strike zone, like Rolen and Snider did to end the inning with runners on 1st and 3rd.

Chip's brilliant interjection: the winner of the game isn't the team with the higher on base percentage, it's the team that scores the most runs. Thanks Chip...and you are A MORON. The poster child for nepotism (though still following in his MORONIC relatives' footsteps). Let's see, yes, there is no correlation between base runners and runs scored. That's what these two idiots are saying. It's all about CLUTCH-HITTING! Well, let's look at the runs leaders in the AL. Texas and Boston. You know what category they also lead the league in? On base percentage (2nd and 1st). They also rank 3rd and 1st in walks, respectively. What team is last in the AL in runs and OBP? The Moneyball team itself, Oakland! (Maybe Billy Beane should re-read the book he wrote.) I'm going to go way out on a limb here: teams with more base runners score more runs. Go ahead, call me crazy. I also believe in evolution and global warming.

Perhaps Toronto's W-L record under Gaston is more related to allowing the fewest runs in the league and not being "aggressive at the plate."

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WE'RE ALL DOOMED!!!!!!

How will K-mad be to blame?

Vladimir, if we could limit our dealings to a quick exchange of soundbites, I would really appreciate it

At the insistence of the McCain campaign, the Oct. 2 debate between the Republican nominee for vice president, Gov. Sarah Palin, and her Democratic rival, Senator Joseph R. Biden Jr., will have shorter question-and-answer segments than those for the presidential nominees, the advisers said. There will also be much less opportunity for free-wheeling, direct exchanges between the running mates.

Let the real season begin

Ohio (0-4) 8
Northwestern (4-0) 16
Final

why are the liberal media still lying about this?

Sarah Palin said yes, thanks, to a road to nowhere in Alaska

this is probably nothing to worry about

we are now seeing what happens when a 20 to 21 percent of GDP financial sector starts to come unglued... never had so much polarization and wealth disparity and just groaning wealth right at the top of ladder as we have now... the central component of the rise of the financial sector is the rise of the debt industry... it's a package which Americans have to understand is going to be awful... seven sharks in the tank with the economy... first is financialization because we're so dependent on this industry that's sort of half lost its marbles... second is that you have this huge buildup of debt, absolutely unprecedented anywhere in the world... third is you've now got home prices collapsing... fourth is you've got global commodity inflation building up... fifth is you've got flawed and deceptive government economics statistics... sixth is that you've got what they call peak oil where the world is, to some extent, running out of oil... last thing is the collapsing dollar... whenever you get this sort of package in one decade, you got a big one... another variation but on a par with the Thirties... The British were absolutely top dog in the world in 1914. Two world wars and 35 years later, they were having, after World War II, they were having food rationing, the pound sterling crashed, dukes were giving guided tours of their castles because they couldn't afford to maintain them otherwise. Doesn't take long. And I'm afraid the United States is coming right into that period which marks a couple of decades coming up that are going to be very difficult for America.

what could possibly go wrong?

News item: ChiSox OF Quentin takes practice swings

celebrating the freedom to point out that Dick Cheney is a vampire

Recent arrests a reminder that blogging comes with risks

Cubs Clinch? Not Today

Halfway Home:

St. Louis 11
Cubbies 0

I blame myself

This intriguing title is due for an October release... if we last that long...

Plait, Philip. Death from the Skies!: These Are the Ways the World Will End.... Viking. Oct. 2008. c.324p. illus. index.

Plait (Bad Astronomy) runs the popular blog BadAstronomy.com and is a former astronomy professor. Here, he describes the myriad ways that astronomical events could end life on Earth. These include comet and asteroid impacts, massive solar flares, supernova explosions, gamma-ray bursts, black holes, diseases of extraterrestrial origin, the eventual death of the sun, and the wobbly orbit of the sun around our galaxy that could expose us to cosmic rays.

blogger brainfart

It just timestamped my post from a minute ago for 2:20 yesterday afternoon.

Fung=douchebag?

Thanks to Briggs for posting I mean finding this...bastard.

And man are they delicious! A little ketchup, french fries, dat's good eatin'!

And only 118 pitches tonight...

The Giants have decided to keep Tim Lincecum on four days' rest next week to give him two more starts after tonight. Getting a Cy Young Award apparently trumps the hopes of the Giants' franchise going forward. Lincecum should have pitched only once more because of the Giants' off day Monday, but he'll go Tuesday and Sunday. Jonathan Sanchez loses a start as a result. This likely means that Lincecum will finish with the year at 225-230 innings pitched. The Giants shut him down after 177 1/3 innings in 2007.
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this is probably nothing to worry about

"Let me tell ya somethin' that's goin' on today in our world, particularly here in our Nation, that needs some shakin' up and some fixin'..."

-- Sarah Palin, 45th President of the United States, on the Yoooge Depression of 2009-2022

Bush: genetically defective?

Are you a born conservative (or liberal)?
A new study suggests that your political attitudes are wired in from the beginning.

[insert own joke here]

Also in the News: Hackers target Palin's e-mail account

Hackers gained access to the Yahoo e-mail account Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin uses to conduct some official state business, The Associated Press reports.

It was unclear how the hackers broke into the Republican vice presidential candidate's "gov.palin" account. (Maybe they guessed the password: "mooseandsquirrel"? - Ed.) But the AP reported that the incident raised further questions about Palin's practice of conducting official business using a private e-mail account. (Now that she's a higher-up, she can skirt the law in style on her shiny new Republican National Committee e-mail account like Turdblossom and the other big boys... Ed.)

Praise Jesus

Barack Obama: “John McCain can’t decide whether he’s Barry Goldwater or Dennis Kucinich”

Obama Pulls Ahead in Electoral College Projection

[insert own joke here]

Bush says he's working hard on economic turmoil (AP)

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What's wrong with this picture?

News item: New Minneapolis bridge opens, 13 months after collapse, on budget, ahead of schedule.
News item: Seven Years After Attacks, No Memorial In NYC.

Think Foreclosure's bad?

Then wait till you can't vote because of it...

the case against retractable roofs (why not rooves?) continues (cont'd)

Houston Texans considering Rice Stadium for next home game

HOUSTON (AP) - Houston Texans owner Bob McNair has discussed the possibility of his team playing at Rice Stadium if repairs to Reliant Stadium from hurricane Ike can't be made in time for its first home game on Oct. 5.

The stadium's retractable roof lost five pieces in the storm and officials said large pieces of debris had fallen into the stadium.

Though he has discussed playing at Rice, which is six kilometres from Reliant, McNair is... Wait wait wait wait wait... six what? Does the Associated Press think Texas is some far-flung backwater outpost of the al Qaeda caliphate? We measure distance in American miles here bud, as in one mile = 3520 cubits as God intended.

Having offed Hillary, will Indy shock it to McCain?

Sen. Barack Obama holds a tenuous lead over Sen. John McCain in Indiana, with one in four likely voters saying they could change their mind on who to support for president, according to a new Indianapolis Star-WTHR (Channel 13) poll.

Obama's three-point lead in the poll, 47 percent to 44 percent, reinforces Indiana's status as a battleground in the race for the White House...

Pollster J. Ann Selzer said the poll, with a 4 percentage point margin of error, reflects a lead by Obama that is tentative and reliant on a solid turnout in the Indianapolis metropolitan area.

k-mad is out for blood, my friends...

9/17 8:22 pm: Rockies setup man Taylor Buchholz (Horrorz, Prairie Chickens) will miss the remainder of the season with an injured shoulder. Buchholz said he will get an MRI in the next few days, according to the Denver Post.

Why does Neil Steinberg hate God? Oh wait, he's... never mind

Dumb isn't the answer - Nation is at crisis stage on multitude of issues that will get worse with time and will require intelligence -- not prayer -- to solve

Something to consider while you're fluttering your hands to heaven and declaring that dumb is now chic, that dumb is the new black.

Why does the Pope hate God? Oh wait, he's... never mind; or, the non-apology non-apology

Vatican: Guess what, Darwin? Evolution is OK

VATICAN CITY - The Vatican said on Tuesday the theory of evolution was compatible with the Bible but planned no posthumous apology to Charles Darwin for the cold reception it gave him 150 years ago.

abridged LoC statistics (updated) (cont'd)

What a difference six days makes!

Google rank for the search "maverickyness" - 1st!
followers - 1 (admittedly, some of them are Brain-Dead Bob)

a further indication that our military is on the brink of collapse

Akron is a 10-point favorite over Army.

Well, they're not lies if a P.O.W. tells them...

McCain Lies Watch: 56 and counting

McCain Contradicts Himself -- Yet Again
John McCain Abandons 26-Year Record Opposing Regulation
Unable to Understand Economy, McCain Suggests 9/11 Commission-Style Probe He Opposed

CNN Demolishes Every McCain Campaign Lie

Obama wants to teach sex to kindergarteners? Lie.
Palin opposed the Bridge to Nowhere? Lie.
Palin hasn’t taken earmarks as Governor? Lie.
Alaska produces 20% of America’s energy? Lie.
Palin visited Iraq and Ireland? Lie.
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k-mad's debate plan

Two podiums (podia?), two microphones, a button on each podium. A clock on the front of each podium; each clock shows 60:00 (sixty minutes). When a guy hits his button, his clock ticks down, his microphone goes on, the other guy's clock stops, the other guy's microphone goes off (sorta like a chess clock). No phokking stooge like Cholly Gibson or Stephanobrainless or Bernie Shaw asking asinine questions. Just talk til you say what you want to say and then let the other guy talk for a while. But don't stand there talking for an hour, or the other guy gets the whole second hour.

There would be a few things to work out, like how the opening scrum for the conch should work, and how to keep both guys from just banging on their buttons repeatedly like lab rats pounding compulsively on their pleasure buttons. Also gotta figure out how you could keep one guy from going four corners on the other dude and letting his clock run down (maybe the button should turn your microphone off and the other guy's on...) But imagine what it would do to campaigning if they could ask each other questions like, "Why did you run that ad where my face morphs into a weasel?"

If Zogby knew anything, Kerry would be running for re-electoration

Obama leads McCain by 2 points: Reuters poll

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Democrat Barack Obama has a 2-point lead in the U.S. presidential race on Republican John McCain, whose choice of Sarah Palin as his running mate helped shore up support for both candidates, according to a Reuters/Brain-Dead John Zogby poll released on Wednesday.

"We're back to where we always thought we would be -- in a very competitive race, and with my head tucked far up into my own @ss" the profoundly brain-dead pollster John Zogby said.

Dis explains a lot (cont)

America's Most Stressful Cities

Maurna Desmond, 09.15.08, 6:00 PM ET

Record weekend rainfall isn't the only thing worrying Windy City residents.

Chicago's rising unemployment rate, expensive gas, high population density and relatively poor air quality create a perfect storm of stress, according to measures we used to calculate the country's anxiety hot spots.

New Yorkers can relate. Locals in the country's most densely packed metro have to fiercely compete for subway seats, cabs, apartments, elite preschools, dinner reservations and bartenders' attention. This constant grind compounds the area's other anxiety factors including costly housing (the country's third least affordable) and allergy-inducing pollution. Throw in Wall Street's woes, and you've got a Molotov cocktail of concern.

In Depth: America's Most Stressful Cities

At No. 6, San Diego was the most unexpected city on our list. How could a laid-back beach town be stressful? Well, it's got the fifth least affordable housing of the 40 major metro areas surveyed, a 6.4% unemployment rate and car-happy residents paying $3.81 for a gallon of gas. But, they don’t let those numbers get them down. Pleasant weather and beautiful beaches contribute to a serotonin-soaked attitude that appears to take the edge off of tough times.

Now I understand why Herr Doctor moved. It was for his health. Explains Smiff's move too.

One Weekend in Milwaukee and...

...Cubs warm to idea of new park

How come this didn't come up the 400 other times they've played at Miller Park? OK so it's probably more like 50. But still. If they started on the planning now, by the time they'd get it done, all these players would be gone. So suck it up & play.

I don't even want to imagine the can of worms building a new Wrigley would open up. Wrigleyville or somewhere else? Play in Sox Park or Miller Park or just kinda tour the midwest? I just have one requirement, the new stadium better have a retractable roof on it...

Tear it down?
Should the Cubs abandon Wrigley and build a modern facility like Miller Park?
Yes (1275 responses) 40.0%
No (1915 responses) 60.0%
3190 total responses (Results not scientific, but profoundly moronic)

just in time for squirrel hunting season

WASHINGTON: The House took up legislation Tuesday to eliminate most of the gun restrictions in the U.S. capital, including a ban on semiautomatic weapons.

more on Fung's suga mommie close encounter

World's smallest man meets leggiest woman

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Famous Last Words

Fung's watching the Cubbies (well, back & forth between the Sox & Cubs, but at that point he was on the Cubby game) and whoever the play by play announcer is says (Fung paraphrasing here):

"Prince Fielder, had 50 home runs last year. He won't get there this year obviously. Coming into this game, he has 30."

And just then, Fielder absolutely positively crushes one to Sheffield, ending 21 scoreless innings of Cubs pitching and pulling the Brew Crew to within one and leaving Fielder 19 short of last year's target. It's like Fielder heard him, or something.

Update - next at bat, crushed it again.

Colbert reviews the last month or so of LoC yammering

Nat'l Journal's Rauch: Schmidt going post-Rovian

"That was when it dawned on us. We're way beyond cynicism here. We've warped out of cosmopolitan logic altogether. We're in a new political space. We're epistemological pioneers! Republicans are the party of freedom and personal choice, right? So what's the ultimate freedom? What's the ultimate choice? 'X and not X--you can have it all!'

"The public wants change and experience. That's what you're promising. They're 90 percent there. All you need to do is help them close the deal. Here, listen to this script:

"Barack Obama says he's 'young.' But is he really? Being young is about more than just talk. Look behind the words, and you'll find the same old policies. From the same old people.

"Anyone can come out of nowhere and claim to be young. John McCain has been proving his youth for decades, ever since he was a young POW in a dark isolation cell in Vietnam.

"John McCain will bring real youth to Washington. The kind of youth that gets results.

"John McCain. A president you can trust to be young."

Rape Seed

Palin is apparently in support of rape. In addition to opposing abortion in cases where women are raped. [Ed: why should a baby be punished for the sins of the father?]. She apparently was in favor of charging women who sought a rape kit. [Ed: why should the father be punished for sins of the father?].

Makes sense.

Really the bottom line is that women should be married or getting married and that their husbands or fiances should be protecting them from rape. Only women who aren't real women who are with men who aren't real men get raped. Praise Jesus.

Going to read that one bible story about the two daughters who hooked up with their dad again. So hot!