Chicago Smiff Invasion

Air Itinerary
Trip Date Day Stops Routing Flight Routing Details
Depart Oct 16 Thu Nonstop SAN-MDW 1923
Depart San Diego (SAN) at 4:30 PM
Arrive in Chicago (MDW) at 10:15 PM

Return Oct 21 Tue Nonstop MDW-SAN 906
Depart Chicago (MDW) at 1:25 PM
Arrive in San Diego (SAN) at 3:50 PM

So, who's picking me up, where i am staying, and what are we doing (which doesn't involve a bar)?

Also, if yas got some time coming, taking off Friday and/or Monday would be cool...
~

Funny Stuff

Is this:

A. Fung on vacation in Brazil

B. Two employees of a new theme park

C. The worlds smallest man & the woman with the longest legs in the world

D. What happens when you alter just one gene

E. Smiff on vacation in Florida

funny funny stuff

On Aug. 17 of this year, Palin was in the pews at the Wasilla Bible Church, when a visiting speaker, who has been widely criticized by the Anti-Defamation League, made controversial statements about Jews.

David Brickner, the founder of Jews for Jesus, which aims to convert Jews to Christianity, told congregants that terrorist attacks on Israel were God's "judgment" of Jews who haven't embraced Christianity.

The pastor of her former church, Assembly of God, which she still visits, has damned Democrats. Pastor Ed Kalnin implied in 2004 that church members who vote for John Kerry for president would go to hell. "I question your salvation," he said. This week the church issued a clarification saying Kalnin was only "joking" when he suggested "Kerry supporters would go to hell."

good morning haters (cont'd), or, Sarah Palin isn't not not dis-un-lying about not being a global warming non-denier

"A changing environment will affect Alaska more than any other state, because of our location. ... I'm not one, though, who would attribute it to being man-made." ("Why? Because I am a fucking moron, that's why."--ed.)

"When a species' habitat (in this case, sea ice) is declining due to climate change, but there are no discrete human activities that can be regulated or modified to effect change, what do you do?" (Stick your pea-brained head in the ground?--ed.)

"I'm not an Al Gore, doom-and-gloom environmentalist blaming the changes in our climate on human activity." (Hey, he's just trying to make a buck, and isn't that The American Way?--ed.)

"Show me where I have ever said that there's absolute proof that nothing that man has ever conducted or engaged in has had any effect or no effect on climate change... I have not said that."(Well, she's never lied before...--ed.)

Wall Street Journal - liberal, elite, and against Main Street values

A few days ago I talked politics with Donn Teske, the president of the Kansas Farmers Union and a former Republican. Barack Obama may come from a big city, he admits, but the Farmers Union gives him a 100% rating for his votes in Congress. John McCain gets a 0%. "If any farmer in the Plains States looked at McCain's voting record on ag issues," Mr. Teske says, "no one would vote for him."

Now, Mr. McCain is known for his straight talk with industrial workers, telling them their jobs are never coming back, that the almighty market took them away for good, and that retraining is their only hope.

But he seems to think that small-town people can be easily played. (He's right... Ed.) Just choose a running mate who knows how to skin a moose and all will be forgiven. Drive them off the land, shutter their towns, toss their life chances into the grinders of big agriculture . . . and praise their values. The TV eminences will coo in appreciation of your in-touch authenticity, and the carnival will move on.

John McCain - sexist pig

If Smiff wrote the transactions...

The Nationals aren't expecting Dmitri Young to play again this season because he's fat.

Brandon McCarthy left his start Monday because he's made of balsa wood and cheap glue.

Hong-Chih Kuo, who took a loss in a 1-0 game on Sunday after missing a few days with a sore arm, again complained that K-Mad owns him.

Chris Davis has a sore back and is getting the night off. Whaaaaa? But the Fants need him in the lineup!

Kenny Rogers has been shut down for the season because he's old, sucks and is a HYOOOGE @SSH@LE.

Brewers fired manager Ned Yost because he is a brain-dead manager.

According to the Boston Globe, J.D. Drew (back) is unlikely to rejoin the lineup before Friday because he is gutless.

Chorye Spoone will miss the remainder of this season and much of next year following shoulder surgery and because he has a funny name and K-Mad thought about drafting him once. Expect a spider attack soon.

Diamondbacks manager Bob Melvin said Conor Jackson could be used as a pinch-hitter on Monday and return to the lineup on Tuesday. Jackson has missed three games because his gigantic eyebrows had completely engulfed his face.
~

2000: "Hanging chad." 2004: "Diebold."

A good prediction for 2008 might be: "Faithless elector."

When will the candidates address the issues?

Like this one?

Porn on a plane: Flight attendants want filters

Given that people are packed onto planes literally elbow to elbow, it's often hard not to at least glance at the laptop screen of the person sitting next to you. But airlines have not banned people from reading pornographic magazines or watching their own DVDs on flights. And it's just as easy for someone to view a DVD of an adult video on a laptop or flip through Hustler as it is to surf porn Web sites.

What is it about the internet that just makes people go nuts?

K-Mad jinxed it

Though we got off to a good start, we faded down the stretch and only managed 72 posts for the week, tied for 3rd most this year. Though it seems this Tina Fey I mean Sarah Palin has people all riled up, so maybe that will help us get over 80 in one of these weeks. And if the unthinkable happens, and Obama/McBush wins, I can see a hyooge spike coming, either of unmitigated joy, or of co-ordination efforts for the move to New Zealand.

Should this be scary?

Or is this just CNN trying to bring today's failed banks into today's political campaign in an unexpected yet irrelevant way...

Obama, McCain big beneficiaries of Wall Street
Posted: 10:31 AM ET
From CNN Ticker Producer Alexander Mooney

(CNN) — Both Barack Obama and John McCain have strongly benefited from Wall Street this election cycle, an analysis from the Center for Responsive Politics reports.

According to the non-partisan research organization, employees of security and investment firms have donated nearly $10 million to Barack Obama this year and close to $7 million to McCain's presidential bid.

McCain has particularly benefited from Merrill Lynch, the global financial services firm whose sale to Bank of America shook Wall Street Monday morning. He has raised nearly $300,000 from Merrill employees this year — more than any other firm.

Barack Obama, meanwhile, has strongly benefited from employees of Lehman Brothers, the financial firm that filed for bankruptcy Monday morning. The Illinois senator has raised approximately $370,000 from Lehman employees this year, more than three times what McCain has raised from employees of the failing firm.

Both McCain and Obama sharply criticized Wall Street practices Monday morning, and are calling for more regulation in the investment industry.

K-Mad's liberal hectoring never ends...now in print form

The new issue of Documents to the People* is here.

*If that name sounds commie, it is.
~

some (k-mad?) will try to point fingers

News item: Afghanistan Is in Its Worst Shape Since 2001, European Diplomat Says

Well, you know, we had to deal with those other guys who attacked us...

k-mad is puzzled my friends

Ok, Ned Yost ain't exactly Uncle Cholly, but why would you do this two weeks before the playoffs?

Yost relieved of managerial post

"In the end, this was a collaborative decision (sure, duck responsibility... Ed.) made to put our Club (did he specify 'Club' with a capital C? how Teutonic... Ed.) in the best position for the final two weeks of the season."

Dale "Swing-em &" Sveum, the Brewers third base coach, will take over in an interim role as manager for the remainder of the season.

this should settle it

Sarah Palin Isn't Not Not Dis-Un-Lying About Banning Books

This statement, by McCain spokesman Brian Rogers, looks a lot more forceful:

* "The fact is that as Mayor, Palin never asked anyone to ban a book and not one book was ever banned, period."

That's true, as far as it goes, but look at it again. Fans of Jesuitical hair-splitting might think the wiggle room here comes from the distinction between asking someone whether you can ask them to do something and asking them to do it. But that's not it.

Ignore "period." Look at the place where he might have said "dependent clause." The important words are:

* "The fact is that as Mayor,"

Sarah Palin never asked anyone to ban a book as Mayor. As Mayor -- of a Wal-Mart and a snowmobile trail -- she was only interested in censorship in general.

As the New York Times reported this weekend, she only pushed to ban books by name when she was on the city council.

I hope that clears up everything.
. . .

Brian Rogers kind of reminds me of something John McCain said during the national pig/lipstick crisis last week:

* "Senator Obama chooses his words very carefully, okay? He shouldn't have said it. He shouldn't have said it. He chooses his words very carefully."

He's right. You've got to despise people who act like that.

in fairness, she ain't real bright...

"Fascist writer Westbrook Pegler, an avowed racist who Sarah Palin approvingly quoted in her acceptance speech for the moral superiority of small town values, expressed his fervent hope about my father, Robert F. Kennedy, as he contemplated his own run for the presidency in 1965, that 'some white patriot of the Southern tier will spatter his spoonful of brains in pubic premises before the snow flies.'

It might be worth asking Governor Palin for a tally of the other favorites from her reading list."
-- Robert F. Kennedy, Jr.

When even Karl Rove thinks you're an @sshole....

you're a YOOOOOOOOOGE @SSHOLE.

But when half the electorate is profoundly developmentally disabled, being an @sshole works.

Turdblossom: "There ought to be an adult who says, 'Do we really need to go that far in this ad?'"

Palin Supporters?

Or Cheney Supporters?

It's spreading

Widely believed in the United States, creationism - the belief that God created the earth and man in six days - is enjoying a resurgence of support in the UK, say its believers and its critics.

An estimated 47% of Americans reject outright Charles Darwin's theory of evolution, accepting instead the Bible's account of the creation of the universe - as laid out in the first chapter of Genesis.

47%? Really? Wha? How? Erm, wha? 47%? And I'm guessing that 99.9% of them are voting for McCain because of his running mate. So McCain just needs a fraction of the non-believers. No wonder our elections have been so close...

keep moving folks, nothing to see here, she's folksy, etc. ...

Congressional requests for administration documents while investigating the dismissals of the U.S. attorneys required the Bush administration to reveal that not all internal White House emails were available, because they were sent via a non-government domain hosted on an e-mail server not controlled by the federal government. Conducting governmental business in this manner is a possible violation of the Presidential Records Act of 1978, and the Hatch Act.

~

The governor and her top officials sometimes use personal e-mail accounts for state business; dozens of e-mail messages obtained by The New York Times show that her staff members studied whether that could allow them to circumvent subpoenas seeking public records.

liberal media tied up in knots - HATERS!

Fortunately the good American people see through all this fact-mongering

Seeing Is Experiencing, But Better

As a mom, I don’t have to have any experience at these things. You would not ask a man to have any experience, and so I don’t understand why I am being asked about this. Do I think I need this experience?

No, I do not.

we also need to address the buggy whip shortage

Making America Stupid (there's a challenge... Ed.)
By THOMAS L. FRIEDMAN (HATES America)

Imagine for a minute that attending the Republican convention in St. Paul, sitting in a skybox overlooking the convention floor, were observers from Russia, Iran and Venezuela. And imagine for a minute what these observers would have been doing when Rudy Giuliani led the delegates in a chant of “drill, baby, drill!”

I’ll tell you what they would have been doing: the Russian, Iranian and Venezuelan observers would have been up out of their seats, exchanging high-fives and joining in the chant louder than anyone in the hall — “Yes! Yes! Drill, America, drill!” — because an America that is focused first and foremost on drilling for oil is an America more focused on feeding its oil habit than kicking it.

Why would Republicans, the party of business, want to focus our country on breathing life into a 19th-century technology — fossil fuels — rather than giving birth to a 21st-century technology — renewable energy? As I have argued before, it reminds me of someone who, on the eve of the I.T. revolution — on the eve of PCs and the Internet — is pounding the table for America to make more I.B.M. typewriters and carbon paper. “Typewriters, baby, typewriters.”
. . .

ENOUGH with the liberal hectoring of that nice NRA lady already

Will Palin Get the Same Scrutiny Hillary Got? (Lemme throw out a hunch here, NO - Ed.)

So now we learn that Sarah Palin did not go to visit troops in Iraq, as the McCain-Palin campaign originally claimed, nor did she visit Ireland, as a spokesman claimed – she went through Ireland only for a refueling stop... (SHOCKING - But if their story wasn't factually true, it had an emotional truth within a larger folksy narrative, so I'm ok with it... Ed.)

When ABC News' Charlie Gibson asked her how Alaska's proximity to Russia gave her insight into that country, Palin replied: “They're our next door neighbors and you can actually see Russia from land here in Alaska, from an island in Alaska.” That’s reassuring, isn’t it? (YES! And thanks to that nice Cholly Gibson for not calling her out as fullas#i+ when she spun that whopper... Ed.)

There is also a question here for the media. When Hillary Clinton claimed last March that she had to evade sniper fire during a landing in Bosnia in 1996, the media came down on her hard. It was a huge story. But at least Clinton actually visited Bosnia. Will the media focus the same attention on the false and exaggerated claims about Palin? (I'm getting a premonition here, NO - Ed.)

Journalists gave Al Gore endless grief about supposed exaggerations and even suggested he said things (about inventing the Internet) that he actually didn't say. Aren't Palin's claims about opposing earmarks, when she actually tried to get them, and about saying "no thanks" to the bridge to nowhere, when she initially supported it, part of a larger narrative of deception? (Now he's just picking on her... what a sexist... Ed.)

I continue to believe that Palin’s lack of engagement with most national and virtually all international issues until the moment of her selection will eventually become a bigger issue. So will McCain’s extremely limited personal knowledge of Palin before he picked her. (That would assume people actually give a s#i+ - an assumption which marks EJ as an old, fat, pasty, white, liberal, AmeriCANT ELITIST... and a sexist... Ed.)

Maureen Dowd field dresses (what?) a barracuda

The really scary part of the Palin interview was how much she seemed like W. in 2000, and not just the way she pronounced nu-cue-lar. She had the same flimsy but tenacious adeptness at saying nothing, the same generalities and platitudes, the same restrained resentment at being pressed to be specific, as though specific is the province of silly eggheads, not people who clear brush at the ranch or shoot moose on the tundra.

I missed the apology

~
"I think they put some lipstick on the pig but it's still a pig."
-- John "Piggie" McCain, in 2007, comparing Hillary Clinton's new health care plan to the Clinton plan of 1993

Fungrant - Baseball Stadiums

This weekend forced home what I knew all along - baseball stadiums should have retractable roofs. I mean, if you have to stop the game because of rain, and rain happens quite a lot in the summer, then why wouldn't you put one on? Two new stadiums going up in NY, and I don't think either will have a roof on it. What gives? While I understand why you couldn't play in Houston, since fans would be blown away on the way to the stadium, and that's when they weren't been struck by all the debris our wasteful capitalism has created, we've had a deluge over here in Chi-Town that postponed 2 games, and I don't see them getting Sundays in either with the remnants of Ike getting here. We coulda got those games in if we had a roof, for sure. That means both the Cubs & Sox are gonna have a hectic last few games, the Twinkies & Brew Crew will do just fine with a roof over their heads. So why isn't there a rule saying every new stadium's gotta have a roof?

And now, out of nowhere, here comes Chris Thrash.

Bruce Bochy: is oxygen getting to his brain?

Tim Lincecum's first career complete game was a 138-pitch shutout of the Padres on Saturday. Lincecum is an incredible pitcher. We're really hoping that's still the case in a few years, but we're becoming more skeptical every time Bruce Bochy sends him back out for that one extra inning. Does anyone really think the NL's ERA leader needs a confidence boost at this point? Why on earth send him back out to pitch the ninth in a 7-0 game when he's already thrown 118 pitches? He just threw 127 pitches on Monday. He had an 132-pitch outing on Aug. 27 (and followed it up with one of his worst starts of the year). Lincecum gave up two hits in the ninth tonight, bringing the Padres' total for the night up to four. He ended up striking out 12. It was an outstanding performance. However, it wouldn't have been any less impressive had he left after eight.
~

Talk to the paw, hocky momz...

But an examination of her swift rise and record as mayor of Wasilla and then governor finds that her visceral style and penchant for attacking critics — she sometimes calls local opponents “haters” — contrasts with her carefully crafted public image.

k-mad plays nice

I just read the prologue to Ron Suskind's new book, The Way of the World, and I could write a post thanking George Bush for making us a bigger target and how near the End Times are and how the Cubs, if they ever want to win another World Series, might really want to focus on doing it this year, and that's assuming we make it all the way to October.

Instead, here's a lovely photo gallery of Chicago from the Tribune, which I like to call the "World's Greatest Newspaper."

(As you look at the photos, bear in mind that none of that s#i+ will be there much longer. Sorry... couldn't help myself.)

Battle of Sarge appears over

So. Illinois 7
Northwestern 33
4th Qtr. 9:56

The longest rest of our lives...

Today's Polls, 9/12

Really, if the Dems can't win this year, stick a fork in 'em, they're done. Jesusland will have won. It's time for Barack to get in the gutter with Rove & Co. They put one of yours in the hospital, you put one of theirs in the morgue, that's the Chicago way. Really, no more futzing around. Got any "pictures" of McCain and his black baby? GO RIGHT DOWNTOWN AND PRINT IT. I dunno, BUT DO SOMETHING. And by SOMETHING i mean DURTY! I just can't imagine 8 years of McCain and 8 years of Palin. I'll be 59 for phokk's sake. Actually, if this all comes true i'll have either hung myself by that point, or will be held at an America Haters Internment Camp with K-Mad. If he hasn't moved to Europe by that point.

This is all to say, getting really really really really really worried at his point. Someone talk Smiff down off the ledge...

~

Looks like I might be Walking the 5 1/2 Miles to Work Next Week

The oil and gas industry was closely watching the storm because it was headed straight for the nation's biggest complex of refineries and petrochemical plants. The upper Texas coast accounts for one-fifth of U.S. refining capacity, and many platforms were shut down. Wholesale gasoline prices jumped to around $4.85 a gallon for fear of vast shortages. That was up substantially from about $3.25 on Wednesday and less than $3 on Tuesday.

Dis is nuttin 2 worry about...

Expulsions stoke US-Venezuela row
A series of tit-for-tat expulsions and sanctions leaves the US without ambassadors in Bolivia, Venezuela and Honduras.

Shockingly Familiar

Zorn: 'Nucular' or 'nuclear'?

See, this is why she hasn't given interviews. And explains an earlier post about how a certain word was spelled in the teleprompter. Apparently they didn't have one when she was being interviewed...

Whitey keeping darky down (cont)

Court delays Hari Puttar film release

What's next - Harry Caray's estate suing to abolish the term Hari Kari? Copyright - annudder of dem evil whitey inventions...

whole lot of America-hating going on here...

Lipstick on a Wing Nut

§ Forty-seven million Americans lack health insurance. John Goodman, who has advised McCain on healthcare, has proposed redefining them as covered because, he says, anyone can get care at an ER. Do you agree with him?

§ Cindy and John McCain say you have experience in foreign affairs because Alaska is next to Russia. When did you last speak with Prime Minister Putin, and what did you talk about?

§ Approximately how old is the earth? Five thousand years? 10,000? 5 billion?

§ You've suggested that God approves of the Iraq War and the Alaska pipeline. How do you know?

Ebert is angry, my friends

Roger Ebert on Sarah Palin: The American Idol candidate

September 11, 2008
BY ROGER EBERT Sun-Times Movie Critic
I think I might be able to explain some of Sarah Palin's appeal. She's the "American Idol" candidate. Consider. What defines an "American Idol" finalist? They're good-looking, work well on television, have a sunny personality, are fierce competitors, and so talented, why, they're darned near the real thing. There's a reason "American Idol" gets such high ratings. People identify with the contestants. They think, Hey, that could be me up there on that show!

My problem is, I don't want to be up there. I don't want a vice president who is darned near good enough. I want a vice president who is better, wiser, well-traveled, has met world leaders, who three months ago had an opinion on Iraq. Someone who doesn't repeat bald- faced lies about earmarks and the Bridge to Nowhere. Someone who doesn't appoint Alaskan politicians to "study" global warming, because, hello! It has been studied. The returns are convincing enough that John McCain and Barack Obama are darned near in agreement.

I would also want someone who didn't make a teeny little sneer when referring to "people who go to the Ivy League." When I was a teen I dreamed of going to Harvard, but my dad, an electrician, told me, "Boy, we don't have the money. Thank your lucky stars you were born in Urbana and can go to the University of Illinois right here in town." So I did, very happily. Although Palin gets laughs when she mentions the "elite" Ivy League, she sure did attend the heck out of college.

Five different schools in six years. What was that about?

And how can a politician her age have never have gone to Europe? My dad had died, my mom was working as a book-keeper and I had a job at the local newspaper when, at 19, I scraped together $240 for a charter flight to Europe. I had Arthur Frommer's $5 a Day under my arm, started in London, even rented a Vespa and drove in the traffic of Rome. A few years later, I was able to send my mom, along with the $15 a Day book.

You don't need to be a pointy-headed elitist to travel abroad. You need curiosity and a hunger to see the world. What kind of a person (who has the money) arrives at the age of 44 and has only been out of the country once, on an official tour to Iraq? Sarah Palin's travel record is that of a provincial, not someone who is equipped to deal with global issues.

But some people like that. She's never traveled to Europe, Asia, Africa, South America or Down Under? That makes her like them. She didn't go to Harvard? Good for her! There a lot of hockey moms who haven't seen London, but most of them would probably love to, if they had the dough. And they'd be proud if one of their kids won a scholarship to Harvard.

I trust the American people will see through Palin, and save the Republic in November. The most damning indictment against her is that she considered herself a good choice to be a heartbeat away. That shows bad judgment.

~

abridged LoC statistics

Google rank for the search: "maverickyness" - 4th
followers - 0

How will the satanic @sshole John Hagee spin dis one?

One suggestion: God's wrath for all those flamboyantly heterosexual Texans down deres.

Why is Stewart the only one reporting this?

Trey Hillman is a McCain man: Brain-Dead

Manager Trey Hillman said Wednesday that Kila Ka'aihue isn't playing much because he's trying to "pick the right spots" for him.  Unbelievable. Hillman said last week that Ka'aihue and Ryan Shealy would split time at first base for the remainder of the season, but since then Ka'aihue has started once. Hillman gave Ross Gload the start there Wednesday, because apparently the last-place Royals need to keep giving playing time to a 32-year-old with a .270/.312/.343 line this season rather than give their top MLB-ready prospect a chance after he hit .314 with 37 homers between Double-A and Triple-A.

~

Eh... who gives a s#i+...

[T]he routine acceptance of obvious lies now corrodes our politics as much as the money that was the subject of McCain’s famous act of Republican apostasy: McCain-Feingold campaign finance reform. McCain has described his motive for McCain-Feingold as a giant mea culpa for his involvement in the Keating Five scandal. Maybe when this is over, one way or another, McCain will swear off corrupt lying the way he has sworn off corrupt money...

[N]o one -- not the media, not the campaign professionals, not the voters -- cares enough about lying. To some extent, they even respect a well-told lie as evidence of professionalism. If a candidate complains too much about an opponent’s lies, he or she starts being regarded as a bad sport, a whiner. Stoic silence doesn’t work either. People start asking why you don’t “fight back.” Pretty soon, the victim of the lies starts getting blamed...

He says he’d rather lose the election than lose the war. But it seems he’d rather lose that honor he’s always going on about than lose the election

Washington Post is SHOCKED to discover that McCain is an @SSHOLE

With a phony flap and a misleading attack ad, the McCain campaign sinks into silliness

How come the minute somebody mentions the word "pig," the Rethuglicans think they're talking about Palin? Oh... ok I guess I do kinda see that...

IT'S HARD to think of a presidential campaign with a wider chasm between the seriousness of the issues confronting the country and the triviality, so far anyway, of the political discourse. On a day when the Congressional Budget Office warned of looming deficits and a grim economic outlook, when the stock market faltered even in the wake of the government's rescue of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, when President Bush discussed the road ahead in Iraq and Afghanistan, on what did the campaign of Sen. John McCain spend its energy? A conference call to denounce Sen. Barack Obama for using the phrase "lipstick on a pig" and a new television ad accusing the Democrat of wanting to teach kindergartners about sex before they learn to read.

Mr. Obama's supposedly offending remark was not only not offensive -- it also was not directed at Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin.
. . .

"Obama's one accomplishment?" the narrator asks. "Legislation to teach 'comprehensive sex education' -- to kindergartners. Learning about sex before learning to read? Barack Obama: wrong on education. Wrong for your family."

John McCain is a serious man who promised to wage a serious campaign. Win or lose, will he be able to look back on this one with pride? Right now, it's hard to see how.

Who asked you?

Blagojevich defends Palin's experience

Looking way too far ahead

Matt Damon in a panic over a Sarah Palin presidency

On da udder hand, does anyone really listen to Matt Damon?

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It's not just me

Udders are complaining about da ads on da facebook...

Facebook's targeted ads hit a sore spot
The next wave in advertising

k-mad is going on Saturday... anyone else? tix going fast...

Hideout Block Party
Saturday, Sept. 20

everyone should taste like sausage

Man rubbed with spices, other beaten with sausage

FRESNO, Calif. — A stranger broke into a home east of Fresno, rubbed spices on the body of one of two men as they slept and used an 8-inch sausage to whack the other man in the face and head before he fled, Fresno County sheriff's deputies said Saturday...

[Police] said money that had been taken was recovered, but the sausage was discarded and eaten by a dog. "That's right, the dog ate the weapon," Burrimond said.

Fungster, bringing the world together

Two people at a time...

"Briggs and K-Mad are now friends. You suggested this friendship. You can suggest more people that K-Mad may know by following this link:"

Makes me feel all warm & fuzzy inside.

I can't wait for the maverickyness to start... this is even better than waiting for the compassionate conservatism to start...

a SHOCKING percentage of Lou Dobbs viewers agreed with Lou Dobbs tonight

Do you believe the presidential candidates' positions on border security should be more important in this campaign than their race, religion or gender?

YES 98% 4577
NO 2% 97
Total Votes: 4674
This is not a scientific poll (but, it is flamboyantly idiotic)

Fungster meets his match

Man eats 23,000 Big Macs in 36 years

k-mad scored a PATHETIC 60%

Troy McClure film or actual terrible movie?
~

Redneck Values

She wanted to go to school so much that....

Indiana girl clocked at 118 m.p.h. held on DUI
She allegedly told cops she was late for school

THE BLOTTER
11:52 AM CDT, September 10, 2008

A Crown Point, Ind., high school student who told police she was in a rush to make class on time was arrested for drunken driving Wednesday morning after police clocked her car at 118 m.p.h. near Merrillville, authorities said.

The 17-year-old girl was driving her 2000 Toyota Celica south on Interstate Highway 65 near Hobart about 6:30 a.m. when her car zoomed past a marked Indiana State Police squad car, according to a police news release.

She was stopped after weaving in and out of traffic, and told officers she had just dropped off a friend and was trying to make it home before heading to school. Inside her car were three boys, a 16-year-old and two 17-year-olds, who all attend school with her in Crown Point.

The officer detected the odor of alcohol in the car, and in a breath test the girl registered higher than 0.08 blood-alcohol content level, police said. She was arrested on operating while intoxicated and ticketed for reckless driving, unsafe lane movement, speeding and not having a driver's license in her possession.

The three boys in the car were ticketed for underage drinking and released to their parents or guardian.

Well, he's right, but...

...if he thinks his little senior citizen appeasement ploy didn't cost anything, he's more delusional than we thought...

Governor says CTA wastes money

Posted by Monique Garcia at 3:13 p.m.

Gov. Rod Blagojevich blasted leaders of the Chicago Transit Authority on Wednesday, accusing the agency of wasting taxpayer money and lying about the impact of his program to give free rides to thousands of seniors.

The governor went on the attack after Mayor Richard Daley said Blagojevich should be blamed if the CTA is forced to raise fares to pay for the free rides. Blagojevich accused the CTA of exaggerating the cost of the free rides and accused CTA board members of being beholden to City Hall, not riders.

Blagojevich, who controls three of the appointments on the seven-member board, said he wanted to appoint new members who would be more independent. The mayor appoints the other four members.

"We want to put some people in there who will press the leaders of the CTA everyday on where all the money is going," Blagojevich said.

If we're going to uphold our reputation for flamboyant corruption, Illinois will need more than one member of Congress on the "most corrupt" list

Still, kinda impressive for a second-termer

Given that Mr. Hurckes is the most highly paid staff member in Rep. Lipinski’s office, that his position is a full-time job and is generally considered a “senior staff” position, it is difficult to imagine when he has time to engage in other activities. The fact that Mr. Hurckes’ salary is just under the figure that would make him “senior staff” suggests that Rep. Lipinski is paying Mr. Hurckes a salary under this limit precisely so that he can earn a substantial outside income. This creates exactly the sort of appearance of impropriety contemplated by the Bipartisan Ethics Task Force...

By serving as a member of the Village of Oak Lawn Board of Trustees and admitting that he has been the Board’s “defacto lobbyist,” Mr. Hurckes is violating the prohibition against congressional staff serving as lobbyists. Mr. Hurckes also likely violated the prohibition against using House resources to perform the duties of his local office. And, by telling the Board of Oak Lawn that it did not need to hire a lobbyist because he was handling the city’s congressional issues and by stating that he had helped secure funding for projects in Oak Lawn, Mr. Hurckes clearly used his position in the House to provide special treatment to his constituents and encouraged the notion that his constituents would receive preferential treatment from Rep. Lipinski’s congressional office. ..

FIVE Kollyforniyans is pretty impressive, but for most sleaze per capita, you gotta love Alaska.

Give up already

Italian call to use less English

First the French (phokks - some other ed I read earlier) and now the Italians (oh, there's so many you can put here, I can't choose) want to preserve the "purity" of their language by preventing changes coming from a language that derives largely from theirs. Language evolves, it always has, it always will. Trying to freeze it in time will ultimately freeze them in time too. Which I suppose is fine, we like going to Yurup to see old stuff so why not force it to keep it authentic, I mean al dente?

Ciao.

liberal media discovurz lol cats

Cats against Palin

New Rule

You can't put a widget up unless you can make it fit where you put it. Instead of reading the dynamic posted content on the page, people will be trying to figure out what the whole darn widget says. So fix it or delete it.

So says the IT Manager, who inevitably gets asked to figure it out. Well he's on strike. Or fussy.

more fact-based liberal hectoring from the effete snobs in the left-wing media

Of course, this story is from the arugula-addled mind of NPR, so it's probably a yoooge pack of America-hating lies...

BRIAN WILLIAMS QUOTING JOE KLEIN: "I hope my colleagues," meaning his colleagues in the news media, "stand strong in this case. It’s important for the public to know Palin raised taxes as governor, supported the Bridge to Nowhere before she opposed it, pursued pork-barrel projects as mayor, tried to ban books at the local library and thinks the war in Iraq is, quote, 'a task from God.'

The attempts by the McCain campaign to bully us into not reporting such things are not only stupidly aggressive but unprofessional in the extreme."
. . .

BOB GARFIELD: So offended was the McCain campaign at Brown’s shameless -- question-asking -- that it cancelled the candidate’s planned appearance later in the week on CNN, where McCain would have been subjected to more vicious attacks by noted pit bull Larry King.

Elections, Canada Style Eh? (cont'd)

From the Chronicle of Education and Pointy-Headed Intellectualism:

On Tuesday a new ad featured a puffin pooping on Mr. Dion's shoulder. Uproar over the ad forced Mr. Harper to apologize, saying the caricature was in poor taste. The offending droppings were soon dropped from the ad, although the puffin continues to fly past Mr. Dion. But the news media had already seized on the issue as a campaign goof.

Mr. Dion went on the offensive to counter the "prejudice that an intellectual is not a human being," pointing out that while he liked to read books and enjoyed the outdoors, he wasn't a wealthy man and shared the same concerns as other Canadians, including worrying about paying the bills at the end of the month. (Nice try, Poindexter... we ain't electorating nobody who reads books... Ed.)

"The attempt by the Tories to portray Mr. Dion as elitist ignores the fact that, like Mr. Obama, he comes from modest roots," said Errol P. Mendes, a law professor at the University of Ottawa and a commentator on North American elections. "It's sad that the right wing in both countries is trying to portray well-educated people as elitist."

The portrayal of professors as elite and effete is "as offensive as it is inaccurate," said Henry Mandelbaum, executive director of the Ontario Confederation of University Faculty Associations. Polls have shown that professors are highly respected by Canadians (NERDS! Ed.) and that academics are involved in their communities in every way, he said. "The notion of attacking professors as eggheads played well with Adlai Stevenson, but we've moved on from there."

McCain campaign estimate of Americans' intelligence plunges to new low in heavy trading; also, AP's Nedra Pickler still fullas#i+

Nedra:

"You can put lipstick on a pig," he said to an outbreak of laughter, shouts and raucous applause from his audience, clearly drawing a connection to Palin's joke. "It's still a pig. You can wrap an old fish in a piece of paper called change. It's still going to stink after eight years."

Oh, my, yes, it was such a clear connection. It was almost as glaring as the time he "didn't mention Clinton by name".

something to get excited about

I usually don't notice these things, but this is already post #36 of the 09/07-09/14 week, and the most posts we've had in a week in 2008 is 78 (04/06-04/13), so we seem well poised to CRUSH that mark.

a new look here...

Lance Armstrong is unretiring?

A million ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ'S........

~

this is all *SO* Cubs / Sox

Chi Cubs 3
St. Louis 4
Final

Toronto 3
Chi White Sox 1
Final

Toronto 8
Chi White Sox 2
Final

there's sucking, there's George Bushian how to suck at presidenting sucking, and there's Bulgarian women's ice hockey sucking

Humiliating 82–0 loss

Bulgaria's women's hockey team gives up more goals in four games than NHL champs did all last season.

also known as a LIE

Out of bounds: McCain ad misstates Obama sex-ed record

"This is a deliberately misleading accusation..."

bees schmees... there is nothing at all to see here (literally)

EPA Withholds Pesticide Information While Bees Die

A conservation organization has sued the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) for failing to release information about a pesticide linked to dramatic declines in honeybee populations. The pesticide was approved on the condition that the manufacturer study the effects of the chemical on the bee species. The EPA has received the studies but refuses to release them to the public, even though a Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) request was filed.
. . .

An EPA fact sheet from 2003 states clothianidin is potentially toxic to honeybees, as well as other pollinators, though residues in nectar and pollen. Bayer maintains that clothianidin does not pose long-term risks to bees.
. . .

Existing research, as well as much anecdotal evidence, has convinced French (phokks - Ed.) and German (America-haters - Ed.) agricultural authorities to suspend use of clothianidin until evidence of its safety to bees is established. Despite having the same facts before them, the EPA has not taken similar precautions.

Instead, the EPA has repeatedly used "emergency exemption provisions" under the Federal Insecticide, Fungicide, and Rodenticide Act (FIFRA) to approve use of clothianidin in five states. The agency has also used the emergency provisions to approve use of IMD 163 times in 26 states. These emergency exemptions are intended to allow unregistered use of pesticides for a limited time if EPA determines that an emergency condition exists. (I guess all the bees dying is not an emergency... Ed.)

isn't staycationing a travel expense?

WASHINGTON - Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin has charged her state a daily allowance, normally used for official travel, for more than 300 nights spent at her home, The Washington Post reported Tuesday.

An analysis of travel statements filed by the governor, now John McCain's Republican running mate, shows she claimed the per diem allowance on 312 occasions when she was home in Wasilla and that she billed taxpayers $43,490 for travel by her husband and children.

Carlos Zambrano and Hugo Chavez - separated at birth?

News item: world ends tomorrow

The End of the World

Some scientists, on the other hand, went to the European Court for Human Rights to try to stop the collider being turned on. They fear it may create a black hole – which would certainly violate our rights by sucking the planet into... well we don't really know. Professor Sir Chris Llewellyn Smith of Cern says: "The chance we produce a black hole is minuscule." Which is not all that reassuring. But he adds: "Even if we do, it can't swallow up the Earth." It would be too small, and disappear in moments. In any case, they will only send the hadrons in one direction this week. The collisions start in October. Until then, at least, we're not all doomed.

How would they be able to tell?

News item: Kim Jong-il 'may have had stroke'

Elections, Canada Style

Pooping Puffin Paralyzes Canada Conservative Event

Canada's having an election too, y'know. Before ours, even. Though we like to pooh-pooh our opponents with words, Canada has taken it to the literal level. Well almost.

Also, apparently this was post #4000. 4000 pieces of $#!+.

Why can't we just have a nice narrative without all the fact-mongers jumping in?

Lies to Nowhere

As The New Republic's Brad Plumer first noted, Palin "was fine with the bridge in principle, never had a problem with the earmarks, bristled at all the mockery, and only gave up on the project when it was clear that federal support wasn't forthcoming." "We need to come to the defense of Southeast Alaska when proposals are on the table like the bridge," Palin said in August 2006, "and not allow the spinmeisters to turn this project or any other into something that's so negative." In fact, not only did Palin support the project while running for governor in 2006, but when she finally redirected funds away from the bridge, she lamented the fact that Congress had "little interest in spending any more money on a bridge between Ketchikan and Gravina Island." Afterwards, Palin "did not return the federal money. She just allocated it elsewhere."

The McCain campaign jumped back with spokesman Brian Rogers calling the attacks "hysterical."

Yes...

Biden - too phokking potty-mouthed for America's delicate sensibilities?

Does Biden Need to Watch His Language?

"I knew somebody famous was gonna come out of Scranton and I sure as HELL knew it wasn't gonna be me so I left," Biden joked of his upbringing.

Can't a guy be folksy anymore?

"And I sure as HELL can't talk about HELL without using the word HELL, now can I?"
-- Bart Simpson

Fun Horror Facts

AAA Catcher leads the Andersonville Horror in OPS. MI@@Y Montero is 2nd.

AAA Pitcher leads the team in walks, losses, and runs allowed. He is second in appearances (behind Joe Smiff!). He has stepped on a rake, fallen down the dugout steps, punched 23 Gatorade buckets, fallen from the upper deck, been run over by a bus, attacked by penguins, suffered a season-long imbalance of the humours, stapled his hand to a rosin bag, squirted suntan lotion into his eye, and been attacked by crabs, but has not spent a day on the disabled list.

Be Very Afraid

Why rednecks may rule the world

The fact is that we American rednecks embrace the term in a sort of proud defiance.

Yes, just like black people embracing the term "nigga" is a sort of proud defiance.

white Southern Scots-Irish values - redneck values.

So the English are the aristocratic "uppity" ones then? (see below)

We come in one size: extra large

We fry things nobody ever considered friable - things like cupcakes, banana sandwiches and batter dipped artificial cheese…even pickles

Anyone think these two statements are related?

And most of all we are defiant and suspicious of authority, and people who are "uppity" (sophisticated) and "slick" (people who use words with more than three syllables). Two should be enough for anybody.

There's that uppity word again - will they ever learn?

We all understand that there is a political class which dominates in America, and that Sarah Palin for damned sure is not one of them. And the more she is attacked by liberal Democratic elements (translation: elite highly-educated big city people) the more America's working mooks will come to her defence. Her daughter had a baby out of wedlock? Big deal. What family has not? She is a Christian fundamentalist who believes God spat on his beefy paws and made the world in seven days? So do at least 150 million other Americans. She snowmobiles and fishes and she is a looker to boot. She's a redneck.

What they fail to understand is that once they vote in rednecks, they'll turn into those elites that they so hate. Except they aren't that smart. Those you vote in, that is. So you'll hate them, and they'll phokk things up to boot.

Scum-Slimes tackles the tough questions (cont'd)

Page one, above the masthead:

WHAT A SPECTACLE
ALL EYES ON SARA PALIN'S UNIQUE GLASSES

Vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin made all kinds of political statements during her convention speech, but the fashion statement she made with her glasses is what intrigued eyewear professionals.

Italee Optics of Los Angeles has increased its imports of the frames in response to Palin's appearance, a company manager said.

"We were just talking about that,'" said Judy Sulier, an optician at Pinnacle Eye Group in Bedford Township, Ohio. "I was going to go online to pull it up and see what... (zzzzzzzzz... What? Oh... sorry Ed.)

Palin, the governor of Alaska, wears customized glasses and frames from Japanese designer Kazuo Kawasaki.

The high-end eyewear -- the prices start at $600 -- are frameless and allow the customer to choose from a nearly limitless variety of lens shapes.

Shop owner Georgeann Kohn in Toledo, Ohio, said she had received "just a couple inquiries" from... What what whaaaaaa? Back up a second there...

Start at $600? More than John Edwards's haircut? More than John McCain's phokking Salvatore Ferragamo 'Pregiato' Phokking Moccasins for phokk's sake? That's hockey mom folksy? My phokking @SS.

Top story on the SS website is far more hard-hitting:
Ten fittest, least fit presidents

Pitbull lipstick looks mighty fine on Obama's fist

It was in St. Paul last week that Palin drew raucous cheers when she delivered this put-down of Obama: "Al-Qaeda terrorists still plot to inflict catastrophic harm on America and he's worried that someone won't read them their rights."

Obama had a few problems with that.

"First of all, you don't even get to read them their rights until you catch 'em," Obama said here, drawing laughs from 1,500 supporters in a high school gymnasium. "They should spend more time trying to catch Osama bin Laden and we can worry about the next steps later."

Bruce Bochy: not exactly brimming wiff brainz

Tim Lincecum took a shutout into the ninth inning Monday and ended up allowed two runs -- one earned -- in 8 1/3 innings in a win over the Diamondbacks. Lincecum, who started the ninth with a 6-0 lead, threw 127 pitches to help the Giants improve to 17 games under .500. We'd hate to see what kind of workload the team would be saddling him with if it was actually in contention...
~

RNC on global warming: behold the stupidity

GRITtv features ANP Report: Global Warming Heats Up RNC

The American News Project reports on the Republican Party and what its delegates think about global warming. Judging by those interviewed at the Convention it's no wonder that Sarah Palin, a global warming doubter, is stealing the show. The 2008 Republican Platform cautions “against the doomsday climate change scenarios peddled by the aficionados of centralized command-and-control government.” Even though presidential candidate John McCain thinks that global warming is created, in part, by humans, his running mate, Sarah Palin, disagrees. And her record on the environment in general is dismal. The Independent reports that she, "has an environmental policy so toxic it would make the incumbent, George Bush, blush."

~

Why is Ohio massively brain-dead?

It is one of the biggest mysteries of modern times...

State/Pollster WAS NOW SWING
OH Rasmussen McCain +5 McCain +7 McCain +2
~

Gary Effin Sheffield?

That's who hit the big 250,000th home run in Major League history? Color me disappointed and unimpressed.

A great pitcher, or the greatest pitcher?

More Bushian Pronouncements

Rice: I don't see enough blacks at my job

You know, Madam Secretary, you do run that place. You could have made it so that there were more people like you at the State Department. So why didn't you?

the only success of the completely brain-dead Bush administration

(T-ball? And no recovering K-Mad players?)

Bush hosts his last T-ball game
Yankees great Bernie Williams coaches 1st base; Gen. Pace takes 3rd
WASHINGTON - With only about four months left in office, President Bush hosted his last T-ball game on the South Lawn Sunday, ending a tradition he's carried on for seven years.
For Sunday's matchup, the 20th and final game in the series, the president and first lady Laura Bush invited sons and daughters of active-duty members of the Army, Marine Corps, Navy, Air Force and Coast Guard.
"We are really looking forward to seeing you all play," Bush told about 26 players, ranging in age from 5 to 8, "and giving us a chance to thank your moms and dads for their sacrifice and service."
He also invited a full roster of Defense Department officials, including Secretary Robert Gates and Adm. Michael Mullen, the Joint Chiefs of Staff chairman who also served as commissioner of the game. Gen. Peter Pace, former chairman of the Joint Chiefs, coached third base coach while former New York Yankees star Bernie Williams coached first.
Before the game started, Bush recited the Little League pledge and the country group Rascal Flatts sang the national anthem.
Sunday's game between the Stars and Stripes teams went fast. Per South Lawn rules, there were no outs and no strikes in the one-inning game, which ends only when each player from both teams has gotten a turn at bat. No one keeps score, so no one loses.
Some players hit home runs or doubles, while others wandered from their bases and had to be guided back. Each player received a ball autographed by Bush.
Bush, once a part-owner of the Texas Rangers baseball team, began the T-ball tradition on the South Lawn in 2001 to promote fitness for children and stir interest in baseball. Sitting near him and Laura Bush in the stands were their equally brain-dead daughters, Barbara and Jenna, and Jenna's husband, the brain-dead Henry Hager.

Copyright 2008 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed. Yeah right.

You lefty bloggers are eating s#i+ now that we gots our own girl on the ticket. Suck one!

NYT's Kristol: "A Wasilla Wal-Mart Mom a heartbeat away? I suspect most voters will say, No problem. And some — perhaps a decisive number — will say, It’s about time."

Even More Zimbabwe Sports Glory

Black & Huber win women's doubles

Cara Black of Zimbabwe and Liezel Huber of the United States won their fourth women's doubles Grand Slam title at the US Open on Sunday.

Teamed up with an American this time, though she used to be South African. In fact, there were once rumors that dear old Cara would defect to SA so the two could play in doubles in the Olympics and that would make the SA Fed Cup team that much better. But she stuck it out, and continues to bring Zim glory.

Google: Helping you get your porn, incognito

From a NY Times story on the new Chrome Browser:

Also in the security category: something called Incognito mode, in which no cookies, passwords or cache files are saved, and the browser’s History list records no trace of your activity. (See also: Safari, Internet Explorer 8.) Google cheerfully suggests that you can use Incognito mode “to plan surprises like gifts or birthdays,” but they’re not fooling anyone; the bloggers call it “porn mode.”

starting early this year...

The widespread practice of students' registering to vote at their college address has set off a fracas in Virginia, a battleground state in the presidential election.

Late last month, as a voter-registration drive by supporters of Senator Barack Obama was signing up thousands of students at Virginia Tech, the local registrar of elections issued two releases incorrectly suggesting a range of dire possibilities for students who registered to vote at their college.
...

After some inquiries from students and parents, and more pointed questions from civil rights lawyers, the state board of elections said Friday that it was "modifying and clarifying" the state guidelines on which the county registrar had based his releases.

In other words, he's old and fat...

He made $3.5 million this year...

According to the Chicago Sun Times, Jon Lieber "has been shut down" because of "nagging aches and minor ailments that have limited him since early in the season." The "newspaper" notes that Lieber has left the Cubs and returned to his home in Alabama, presumably for the remainder of the season. Lieber is 2-3 with a 4.05 ERA in 25 relief appearances and one start this season.
~

LoC Fun Facts

Some time in the last few days, LoC rolled out it's 2000th label. Currently there are 2006, including today's newest: The Dumbshine State. In a Word document in 8-point font, the list is 35 pages long.

In other news, the cops just shot John Dillinger

UAL Corp.’s stock bottomed out Monday morning after a six-year-old news report about the company’s Chapter 11 bankruptcy filing resurfaced on the Internet.

The report sent shares of the Chicago-based carrier plunging to 1 cent, from a close Friday of $11.92, before trading was halted.

The fallout spread to the industry as a whole, pushing down airline stocks 20% at one point Monday morning.

United in a statement said the South Florida Sun-Sentinel was responsible for its stock tanking after the paper posted as current news on its Web site a six-year-old news story written by sister publication the Chicago Tribune.

KO taken down a notch

MSNBC Takes Incendiary Hosts From Anchor Seat

Proving, once again, that you can have too much of a good thing. Or, once one has found his element, his spot, his function, he should stick to it. KO excels in his element, like Jon Stewart does. You try and expand from there, and things usually don't work out too well. Same thing happened to Katie, IMHO. So KO, keep knockin' em out, from your desk.

How is K-Mad to blame? (cont)

News item: Bears stun Colts in new digs
News item: Panthers stun Bolts on last play, Smiff eliminated from Survival League
News item: Brady out for year?
News item: Phils, Mets split double-header, Mets keep division lead.

What do these events have in common? All things Smiff don't like. So K-Mad must be involved somehow...

4 HR's to go!

Then we can get rid of dat phokking widget...

America-hating Britons hating America

Walter Reed Middle School

SITTING behind McCain, I didn't see the screen behind him, but apparently quite a few people were puzzling over the plush-looking building projected on the screen. Wonder no more: it was Walter Reed Middle School, presumably chosen by a confused RNC staffer who was looking for a picture of Walter Reed Medical Centre.

Just so long as they don't mistakenly try to take out Ireland's nuclear programme.