From the local "news" tonight:
"The computer models are in disagreement over how much rain we will get on Wednesday."
So what the phokk good are they?
Smiff's prediction: seeing as it's Friday, your "forecast" is totally worthless and the computer "models" should be printed out and used for terlet paper. And thanks for wasting everyone's time.
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Fungai shut out again
Top Baby Names for 2007 - sounds very whitey...
Girls
1. Sophia
2. Isabella
3. Emma
4. Madison (slut)
5. Ava
Boys
1. Aiden (3rd year in a row - now dat's retarded)
2. Ethan
3. Jacob
4. Jayden (i will never like anyone named Jayden)
5. Caden (huh?)
What's with the -en ending names? This is a trend signaling the further, gradual idiocracy of America.
Girls
1. Sophia
2. Isabella
3. Emma
4. Madison (slut)
5. Ava
Boys
1. Aiden (3rd year in a row - now dat's retarded)
2. Ethan
3. Jacob
4. Jayden (i will never like anyone named Jayden)
5. Caden (huh?)
What's with the -en ending names? This is a trend signaling the further, gradual idiocracy of America.
Friday, December 14, 2007
Finally, some good news
Does this mean we can start using the money to pay for reconstruction? And for keeping our boys there? And Blackwater's? And Halliburton's?
Iraqi oil exceeds pre-war output
Iraqi oil exceeds pre-war output
Better (decades) late than never
Christmas card arrives 93 years late
OBERLIN, Kansas (AP) -- A postcard featuring a color drawing of Santa Claus and a young girl was mailed in 1914, but its journey was slower than Christmas. It just arrived in northwest Kansas.
The Christmas card was dated December 23, 1914, and mailed to Ethel Martin of Oberlin, apparently from her cousins in Alma, Nebraska.
It's a mystery where it spent most of the last century, Oberlin Postmaster Steve Schultz said.
"It's surprising that it never got thrown away," he said. "How someone found it, I don't know."
Ethel Martin is deceased, but Schultz said the post office wanted to get the card to a relative.
That's how the 93-year-old relic ended up with Bernice Martin, Ethel's sister-in-law. She said she believed the card had been found somewhere in Illinois.
"That's all we know," she said. "But it is kind of curious. We'd like to know how it got down there."
The card was placed inside another envelope with modern postage for the trip to Oberlin -- the one-cent postage of the early 20th century wouldn't have covered it, Martin said.
"We don't know much about it," she said. "But wherever they kept it, it was in perfect shape."
OBERLIN, Kansas (AP) -- A postcard featuring a color drawing of Santa Claus and a young girl was mailed in 1914, but its journey was slower than Christmas. It just arrived in northwest Kansas.
The Christmas card was dated December 23, 1914, and mailed to Ethel Martin of Oberlin, apparently from her cousins in Alma, Nebraska.
It's a mystery where it spent most of the last century, Oberlin Postmaster Steve Schultz said.
"It's surprising that it never got thrown away," he said. "How someone found it, I don't know."
Ethel Martin is deceased, but Schultz said the post office wanted to get the card to a relative.
That's how the 93-year-old relic ended up with Bernice Martin, Ethel's sister-in-law. She said she believed the card had been found somewhere in Illinois.
"That's all we know," she said. "But it is kind of curious. We'd like to know how it got down there."
The card was placed inside another envelope with modern postage for the trip to Oberlin -- the one-cent postage of the early 20th century wouldn't have covered it, Martin said.
"We don't know much about it," she said. "But wherever they kept it, it was in perfect shape."
I would like to have a beer with Fred Thompson
From the Washington Post, 12/12/07:
His 87-year-old mother's advice persuaded him to reject the new intelligence report that Iran has suspended its nuclear program. "Remember whatcha mama told ya," he says. If somethin' appears to be too good to be true, it probably is." Is it possible to be too folksy? Thompson seems determined to find out.
His 87-year-old mother's advice persuaded him to reject the new intelligence report that Iran has suspended its nuclear program. "Remember whatcha mama told ya," he says. If somethin' appears to be too good to be true, it probably is." Is it possible to be too folksy? Thompson seems determined to find out.
Smiff and Gooch Stayin' Classy
Tadahito Iguchi's agent said Thursday that his client turned down several multi-year contract offers to sign with the Padres for one year and $4 million. Iguchi is said to have had a two-year offer to play second base for the Rockies and a three-year offer to play third base for the Phillies. Instead, he takes a one-year deal to play in the majors' most extreme pitcher's ballpark. Like Ron Burgundy, he must think that San Diego is a very classy place.
Thank You Rod, Richie, and Todd
'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there
But St. Nick himself, plump and brimming with joy
Hit a snag on his last stop: Chicago, Illinois
For Rudolph the reindeer, whose nose led the way
Suddenly fell ill and could not guide the sleigh
Santa said "Well, just one option remains
I'll finish my route using CTA trains"
He gathered the reindeer and sack full of toys
To give to Chicagoland good girls and boys
And though well-equipped, CTA card in hand
He'd soon find their trip wouldn't go quite as planned
The train that they rode went from four tracks to one
And wouldn't move fast 'til construction was done
Right then, Santa's joy changed to derision
Saying "It'll take 3 damn hours to reach Clark and Division"
"We normally fly through the air with such speed
But this subway, it moves like a turtle on weed"
The seats were all dirty and beyond repairs
The reindeer stood in urine, which for once wasn't theirs
And Sally's new doll, it would just have to wait
Her Brown Line stop's closed until 2008!
Yes…Santa, he trudged and he slogged and he groaned
It seemed that his Doomsday would not be postponed
But he made a vow on that cold Christmas night
"I must do my job, and do the job right!"
He rode on that Red Line, and then on the Blue
Plus the 36 bus and the Clark 22
He rode on the Orange Line, rode on the Green
From O'Hare to East Side and all homes between
And despite the delays at a few of those places
He did all he could to put smiles on kids' faces
And when he was done, he sighed with relief
Though the trip had been rough, it was worth all the grief
He delivered those presents, he was true to his word
He looked at his watch…..it was January 3rd.
They all flew back home once Rudolph felt better
Mrs. Claus fetched his hubby hot tea and a sweater
Then St. Nick sat down in his favorite chair
And thought all about the entire affair
He hoped that the CTA would succeed
In getting their present: the funds that they need
And I heard him exclaim, as exclaiming's his habit
"Merry Christmas to All! Next time, f**k it, I'll cab it!!!!"
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Will, you dick...
Well, I've been catching up on the Mitchell Report - reading Will Carroll's chat wrap at Baseball Prospectus and there he goes, getting all wrapped up in his "Cult of Will" again - why put this question in the queue Will, if this is what you're going to say? Why not just move on to the next question?
I swear, this guy would just love to be running down the court room steps, tailored suit, briefcase, serious look...:
DrManhattan (NYC, NY): Will, did Mitchell's people ask to interview you in connection with the investigation?
Will Carroll: LOTS of questions on this. My answer, as it always has been, is that I have no comment.
Oh, fuck off Will.
LOTS of questions my ass. But enough of them are shining the toady knob, so he finally gives an "aw shucks guys" moment and puts it on the board:
MarkDuell (Columbus): During a quick glance at the report, I noticed you and your book were cited. I hope that means the whole report is as well researched as your book.
Will Carroll: Well, I guess that "no comment" won't stand now, eh?
No, I guess not, asshole. Maybe you can tell us what the set is like on ESPN again, or some Indianapolis FOX affiliate.
I swear, this guy would just love to be running down the court room steps, tailored suit, briefcase, serious look...:
DrManhattan (NYC, NY): Will, did Mitchell's people ask to interview you in connection with the investigation?
Will Carroll: LOTS of questions on this. My answer, as it always has been, is that I have no comment.
Oh, fuck off Will.
LOTS of questions my ass. But enough of them are shining the toady knob, so he finally gives an "aw shucks guys" moment and puts it on the board:
MarkDuell (Columbus): During a quick glance at the report, I noticed you and your book were cited. I hope that means the whole report is as well researched as your book.
Will Carroll: Well, I guess that "no comment" won't stand now, eh?
No, I guess not, asshole. Maybe you can tell us what the set is like on ESPN again, or some Indianapolis FOX affiliate.
The End Times (previously)
True story: The day it snowed in San Diego.
December 13, 1967, is a day you can't forget – unless you weren't here. Then, it's a day you can't quite accept.
The dream came true 40 years ago this morning, when gale-force winds blew a Canadian cold front far, far off course. Across San Diego County, residents woke up to see the air shimmering with something cold, white and unfamiliar....
The low at Lindbergh Field was 38 degrees at 9:30 a.m. Snow pellets fell from 7:50 to 8:50 a.m.
December 13, 1967, is a day you can't forget – unless you weren't here. Then, it's a day you can't quite accept.
The dream came true 40 years ago this morning, when gale-force winds blew a Canadian cold front far, far off course. Across San Diego County, residents woke up to see the air shimmering with something cold, white and unfamiliar....
The low at Lindbergh Field was 38 degrees at 9:30 a.m. Snow pellets fell from 7:50 to 8:50 a.m.
more SHOCKING revelations!
Kevin Brown, Todd Hundley and John Rocker were named in the Mitchell Report.
Decker's doppelgänger BUSTED!
Former Mets clubhouse employee Kirk Radomski said that he sent multiple shipments of steroids to Eric Gagne between 1999 and 2004, including one package that was sent to Dodger Stadium. Radomski alleges that Paul Lo Duca purchased steroids on Gagne's behalf and recalls having direct contact with him just once, at which time they reportedly spoke about how to get the air out of a syringe. According to the Mitchell Report, the Red Sox had internal discussions about Gagne's past steroid usage before acquiring him in 2007, including an e-mail from general manager Theo Epstein that read: "Have you done any digging on Gagne? I know the Dodgers think he was a steroid guy."
It's about time the truth about this slimeball came out
Now all the "Old-school" whitey lovers can cut the crap about The Rocket doing it the right way.
CHEATER!!!!!!!
CHEATER!!!!!!!
He gone
Mark Prior and the Cubs are parting ways. How do you feel?
Sad -- I think he's ready to turn it around (2042 responses)
46.9%
Happy -- Sick of waiting for this guy (1880 responses)
43.2%
Angry -- I spent $120 on that No. 22 jersey (433 responses)
9.9%
4355 total responses (Results not scientific, but idiotic)
Sad -- I think he's ready to turn it around (2042 responses)
46.9%
Happy -- Sick of waiting for this guy (1880 responses)
43.2%
Angry -- I spent $120 on that No. 22 jersey (433 responses)
9.9%
4355 total responses (Results not scientific, but idiotic)
our bountiful carbon assprint (cont'd)
Scientist: 'Arctic is screaming'
WASHINGTON (AP) -- An already relentless melting of the Arctic greatly accelerated this summer, a warning sign that some scientists worry could mean global warming has passed an ominous tipping point. One even speculated that summer sea ice would be gone in five years.
WASHINGTON (AP) -- An already relentless melting of the Arctic greatly accelerated this summer, a warning sign that some scientists worry could mean global warming has passed an ominous tipping point. One even speculated that summer sea ice would be gone in five years.
Hey Blackwater, Go Phokk Yourselves
Planning group ousted over Blackwater
EAST COUNTY – Five members of the Potrero, CA planning group were voted off the panel Tuesday night in a recall election that served as a symbolic referendum on a controversial training camp proposed by Blackwater Worldwide. The five incumbents all supported the proposed facility.
EAST COUNTY – Five members of the Potrero, CA planning group were voted off the panel Tuesday night in a recall election that served as a symbolic referendum on a controversial training camp proposed by Blackwater Worldwide. The five incumbents all supported the proposed facility.
What does this even mean?
And who is the target audience? Like who is the target audience? Like 74 people in some part of Wisconsin that doesn't even have a name? Or is our Collective Chicago Love Of Sausage what they're counting on?
Goddamn, sausage and beer DO go well together. Ditka would like this. He would nod and say, "Yeah, sausage."
Goddamn, sausage and beer DO go well together. Ditka would like this. He would nod and say, "Yeah, sausage."
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Oh, Whitey
Someone (whitey) thought this was funny. I laughed at the concept, then started reading the fine print. Anyone who's heard the President knows he's very eloquent in whitey's language. He'd never make so many grammatical and spelling mistakes. Still, about 8,000 of these and the budget I linked to earlier is paid off. But this is what happens to your country when whitey doesn't like you. So take note (pun not intended)- let whitey own your land and keep supplying other whiteys with cheap agricultural and mineral goods. Or else...
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