Dusty Baker Teaches Hitting

Curious to see what Briggs thinks of this essay...

And Fung!
And Smiff!
And K-Mad!
And Ranger!
And Corporal!
And Corms!
And even Braindead Bob!

I found it interesting - but I'm afraid some of it might have flown above my head...

maybe.

The thing I'm talking about.

Really, from the New York Post? I mean, it's so classy though...

Further evidence of the New York Post brilliant and informative news reportage:

This wonderful piece of informed satire!

Or maybe it's further evidence that they suck harder than any newspaper ever made outside of 1930s Germany...

People of Lattice of Coincidence

Shouldn't we change our quote at the top from H.L.? It seems that those days are past.

I think we should all post over the next week a quote that we would like to see there and then pick from among them.

Peace!

A (Sarge)

Well it snowed in DC this morning... so explain that one, Chicken Littles

"According to the University of Illinois' Arctic Climate Research Center, global sea ice levels now equal those of 1979."
-- George Will

"We do not know where George Will is getting his information, but..."
-- University of Illinois Department of Atmospheric Sciences

Adam Posen: I do not lack all conviction.

the FT today:

The Obama administration remains opposed to federal control. Mr Geithner last week said: “Governments are terrible managers of bad assets.”

Others say he may eventually face no choice. “The danger we face is a Freddie Mac/Fannie Mae scenario where government gives the banking sector guarantees and then socialises the losses,” says Adam Posen, an economist. “That’s the worst thing we could do.”

Statistically speaking, the more versions of the story he gives, the greater the odds that one of them is correct

News item: Burris now acknowledges fundraising effort for Blagojevich

Best and brightest: This is America. It's different.

NYT's Sheryl Gay Stolberg today:

And given his experience with the Asian financial crisis of the 1990s, some economists wonder how [Larry Summers] could have signed off on a bailout plan that did not force banks to admit that they were insolvent.

“The irony is that Summers and Geithner wrote the textbook on how to manage these crises, and they lectured countries all over the world on what to do,” said Adam S. Posen, deputy director of the Peterson Institute for International Economics, lamenting that they did not “follow through with their own prescriptions.”

Another "why the phokk didn't we know about this before?" sport

Race car driving in snow.



This looks even more exciting than k-mad driving to the train every morning. But instead of this, we get endless hours of @ss#oles playing cards.

Evil Apple (cont)

Casinos are warned about card-counting iPhone app

Bushian (Euro Style)

Nuclear subs collide in Atlantic

Roland Burris has this vote of confidence and it's phokking golden

The former governor's publicist issued a statment today about the Sun-Times story regarding Burris.

"There's absolutely nothing inappropriate that took place between Gov. Blagojevich and Sen. Burris in connection to the governor's appointment of Mr. Burris to the U.S. Senate," the statment said.

"The governor acted ethically and honestly and believes Sen. Burris did too."

the Pakistani Taliban's #1: alive

ISLAMABAD, Pakistan — Two missiles fired from American drone aircraft killed at least 25 people, including Arab and Uzbek fighters of Al Qaeda and the Taliban, in South Waziristan on Saturday morning, according to a Pakistani intelligence official and local residents.

The attack was on three compounds, including one where the leader of the Pakistani Taliban, Baitullah Mehsud, and foreign and local fighters loyal to him sometimes gather, according to the official and residents.

Mr. Mehsud, one of the most feared leaders in Pakistan’s lawless tribal areas, was not among those killed, according to the official, who spoke on condition of anonymity because he was not authorized to speak to the press.

Fuck-Rod Wondering What Permutation Of His Name Will Be Used For Steroid Story

MIAMI—Alex "Fuck-Rod" Rodriguez, who has been given many unflattering nicknames by the press during the course of an eventful and turbulent career, found himself wondering what unflattering sobriquet he would be awarded for lying about his steroid use. "I really didn't like being called 'A-Fraud' by my teammates," Stupid-Goddamned-Son-of-a-Bitch-Rod told sources Wednesday. "That was hurtful, and reading it in Joe Torre's book was a real letdown." As of press time, Lying-Prick-Rod was unavailable for comment, as he was busy falsely accusing Sports Illustrated reporter Selena Roberts of trying to break into the Coral Gables mansion in which Complete-and-Total-Sack-of-Flaming-Fucking-Shit-with-Tiny-Shriveled-Balls-Rod currently resides.
~

Maybe Fung could help us out with this phokking piece of s#i+?

It Figures

He's a little early this year...

Report: Brett Favre set to retire
Updated: 29 minutes ago

Idiocracy! The network premiere - Comedy Central, Sunday 10pm Effete Snob Time, 9pm God's Time

If this doesn't make you want to watch it, you probably don't want to watch it.

Wishful thinking?

Or Freudian Slip? Or maybe we've found W's new occupation?

South African TV channel makes 'Bush is dead' Bushism

42% of Chicagoans Agree: WE SUCK

Forbes lists Chicago among nation's miserable cities

Chicago is America's third most miserable city, beating out bleak towns like Flint, Mich. and Buffalo, NY, according to a recently released Forbes magazine list.
Chicago's dubious ranking comes just six months after the magazine dubbed Chicago the most stressed-out city in America.
The magazine said Chicago's weather, long commute times, rising unemployment and the country's highest sales tax earned it the number three spot on the list, below Stockton, Calif. and Memphis.
For the first time this year, Forbes used "corruption" as a factor when ranking America's 150 largest metropolitan areas in order of misery, according to Forbes.com.
"Illinois' record of public corruption, particularly in the governor's office, is staggering," the article says. "Five of the past nine governors have been charged with crimes, and three, as of now, have served time in prison." To add insult to injury, the magazine writes that people have been migrating out of the city the last seven years, and that the Cubs' 100 year long title drought is 40 percent longer than any other major professional sports team.
Forbes used nine factors -- commute times, corruption, pro sports teams, Superfund sites, income and sales taxes, unemployment, violent crime and weather -- when ranking the cities.
Following Stockton, Memphis and Chicago are Cleveland, Modesto, Calif., Flint, Detroit, Buffalo, Miami and St. Louis.
Read the entire Forbes article "America's Most Miserable Cities."

POLL RESULTS ::
Is Chicago a miserable city?
Yes
42%
252 votes
No
57%
336 votes
Total Votes: 588

Of course, Steve "Flat Tax" Forbes: MAJOR DOUCHEBAG. (--ed.)
~

lots of good arguments here on all sides

Eating Meat: Vegetarians / I’d Even Eat People, just not Dick Cheney / It is our responsibility to eat Dick Cheney, if possible

Another reason for that four months spent going door-to-door and living with the aunt in Dayton

Glenn Greenwald: "Obama fails his first test on civil liberties and accountability -- resoundingly and disgracefully"

Boo di freaking Hoo

You Try to Live on 500K in This Town

I'm sure the 15,000 people you laid off also feel sympathetic to your 500k plight.

Chicago: Not real?

If you believe dis guy den yep...

C H E A T

Miraculous recovery!

+42 in the last 12 hours! ...that's the temperature here in northern Virginia, not anything having to do with the economy. 23 F at 5am, 65 now?!

This really encapsulates the debacle quite nicely...

From Gail Collins today, who has been my favorite columnist at the Times lately:

I dropped out of school for a semester to campaign for Barack Obama. And now I’m asking myself whether I spent four months living with my aunt and going door to door in Dayton, Ohio, just so we could have a stimulus plan written by a bunch of moderate Republicans and conservative Democrats in the Senate.

The great scientist speaks (again)

Paul Krugman, February 21, 2001:

Last but perhaps not least among causes of the consumer funk is the administration’s own determined pessimism. Mr. Bush has a bully pulpit, and he is using it to preach economic alarm. This adds powerfully to the chorus of doomsaying. And when it comes to short-term economics, believing can sometimes make it so.

The title of Krugman's column from this Thursday? "On the Edge." Consider it his own little contribution to the insane amount of doomsaying being done by our current President.

Da Mare is a Putz (cont'd)

Here's what he said Wednesday about city workers, as justification for selling off the Skyway, the parking meters, and anything else that might generate long-term revenue, for beellions of instantly gratifying dollars:

"They're not customer-related. They're gonna leave at 5 o'clock. They're gonna leave at 4:30 or 4:00. (Why not 3:30? - Ed.) I'm sorry. (He's not sorry - Ed.) We're on a time clock. They walk out. But in the private sector, when you have a customer, you're gonna stay there making sure they're happy and satisfied.

"We can't compete with the private sector. The private sector has a complete idea of who your customers are. (They know when your customers are sleeping... they know when they're awake... Ed.) Government doesn't have customers. They only have citizens. (Very naughty, ungrateful citizens... Ed.)"

Here's what he said Thursday, when people who are out all night plowing snow objected to being portrayed as 9-to-4 clock-watchers:

"I said that some people just watch the clock -- government workers or anybody else -- and leave. (Actually that's exactly NOT what I said, but I'm Da Mare... Ed.) But here in Chicago, we're fortunate that people just don't watch the clock... I never said city workers of . . . Chicago are not good workers. Would you correct that for me? (Because my point was that Chicago needs to sell off all its assets because workers in other government bodies are not good workers -- would you correct that for me? Ed.) I know it's hard because I'm a ping-pong ball for the media. (Yes, I'm deploying the Palin Defense - 'the media doesn't get me...' Ed.) (Also, if I'm a ping pong ball, it might be the kind that's been shot out of the *&%@ of a hooker... Ed.) City workers work hard. I talked about the city in a positive way. But you're trying to follow me in a negative way so you have people yelling at me."

Is this Decker's life story?

For my money, Ebert is the best writer in Chicago.

"The Class" might have been set in any classroom in the Western world, and I believe most teachers would recognize it. It is about the power struggle between a teacher who wants to do good and students who disagree about what "good" is. The film is so fair that neither side is seen as right, and both seem trapped by futility.

we are living in a golden age (cont'd), or, these are k-mad's eyeballs on caffeine

"Nutritionist Caffeine Eye Roll-On is a new roll on with a massage application and is specially designed to encourage drainage around the eye contour area. The massage technique from the roll on effect stimulates the natural micro-circulation and drainage of the skin."

K-Mad needs a weekend

I was going to post something making fun of Da Mare, but every time I look at the Scum Slimes there's so much other depressing stuff in there that it seems pointless. This is what happens when it warms up enough to thaw my brain and all the foul humours are unleashed...

So in a nutshell - Da Mare is putz.

Shocking (cont)

Palin names daughter after ESPN HQ town?

What was even more shocking is that there are kids out there named ESPN. At least Bristol, no matter the motivation, is a real name. Whenever we think she's gone totally overboard, it turns out there are people crazier than she. Which is phokking scary.

They can have my Arctic cod when they pry it from my cold, dead fingers

Global warming spurs commercial fishing moratorium in U.S. Arctic

He seems to have gotten the handle on being a Senator pretty quick...

Constituents finding it hard to reach Senator Roland Burris
February 5, 2009
SPRINGFIELD, Ill. -- Constituents say they are finding it hard to contact Sen. Roland Burris by telephone and through the Internet.
Wayne Lovern of Chatham said he called Burris' office in Washington five times on Tuesday and got nothing but busy signals. He said he resorted to sending an e-mail to Sen. Dick Durbin's office and asking his staff to walk it over to Burris' office.
Bill Franklin of Springfield wanted to tell Burris how he should vote on the economic stimulus package but couldn't get through to anyone. Franklin said he's resorted to Googling Burris to find some way to contact the senator but with no luck.
Burris' chief of staff, Darrel Thompson, said the senator's office is doing its best to answer phones amid high call volumes and a small staff.
~

Thanks for the warning, DICK

Cheney warns of new attacks, curses purifying rays of the sun

Former Vice President Dick "Dick" (Dick) Dick Cheney warned that there is a "high probability" that terrorists will attempt a catastrophic nuclear or biological attack in coming years, and said he fears the Obama administration’s policies will make it more likely the attempt will succeed.

I don't doubt the first part for a moment, but the second part sounds pretty assfaced coming from the guys who did such a swell job in 2001...
~

Oh, I think they probably do

"I don’t know if the American public deserve me..."
-- Joe the Phokking Plumber
~

Cheering thought as the baseball season approaches...

Clonod (St. Louis): The Cubs' core players (except Soto and Z) are all 31-33 years old, and their farm system is a disaster. Is it just me, or is that window closing fast?

Joe Sheehan: Hence the push to trade for Peavy and open it as wide as possible. They're where the Astros were in 2004-05.

for your black velvet portrait gallery

Joe the Plumber Black Velvet Painting on ebay - Only $250

What to do, who to join...as usual, too many options

Oh yeah, Commish ASSFACE made $18 MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEllion last year to SUCK.

Hmmm, no plain and simple Bud Selig SUCKS facegroup. Could be my calling.

Bud Selig should be fired as MLB Commissioner
412 members

Bud Selig is a douche
136 members

Bud Selig should suck a wang.
81 members

Fire Bud Selig
68 members

Bud Selig is the Antichrist
69 members

F**K Bud Selig
63 members

Fuck Bud Selig
54 members

Bud Selig can suck it, we had game 5 won easily.. (Phillies group!)
33 members

1,000,000 people that think Bud Selig is the worst commisioner ever (at least 29 do)
29 members

Baseball fans for the removal of Bud Selig as head of MLB
28 members

I hate bud selig for making astros play in Milwaukee
24 members

bud selig is a retarded bitch
23 members

1,000,000 Fans to Impeach Bud Selig (or 21)
21 members

Start New Fire Bud Selig
17 members

BUD SELIG: Enemy of Baseball
16 members

Fire Bud Selig
13 members

Bud Selig Is An Assclown - Fire Him!!!
11 members

Bud Selig and Barry Bonds can go to Hell together
9 members

Bud Selig NEEDS to resign/be fired
9 members

Way to go Bud Selig..... yea right......
8 members

Bud Selig blew it!
8 members

Allan H. Selig...He's Not Our Bud
Network: SIU Edwardsville
7 members

Why did Bar/Bri hire Bud Selig to teach the Con Law lectures? (HUH?)
7 members

Bud Selig- One giant bag of douche
4 members

FIRE BUD SELIG!!!!!!!
3 members

Bud Selig is a complete jackass
3 members

Bud Selig for President...'08.
2 members

Bud Selig, Worst MLB Commissioner Ever
1 member

John Coleman hates to say he told you so, but John Coleman told you so

"Forty-four percent of U.S. voters now say long-term planetary trends are the cause of global warming, compared to 41% who blame it on human activity..."

Fun places for Smiff to go on the Facebook

Facebook hates Bud Selig

Though to be fair, I never pay my taxes either

a fine way to say "thanks @ss#oles!" to our brave private mercenaries

State Department Cancels Iraq Contract With Blackwater

The chairman is displeased

As transcribed in the Trib:

Mike North: Where would you rate this season?

Jerry Reinsdorf: You want the grade up till today? What's the lowest grade you can give? This has been a disaster. It's embarrassing. But it will get better.

Mike North: With the same people?

from the people who brought you the new definition of santorum...

Saddlebacking: sad•dle•back•ing \ˈsa-dəl-ˈba-kiŋ\ vb [fr. Saddleback Church] (2009): the phenomenon of Christian teens engaging in unprotected anal sex in order to preserve their virginities

Kicking a decomposing horse

10 anagrams for 'Rod Blagojevich'

Gov. Rich job deal
Led job rig havoc
Vocal bird, he jog
Hard job, evil cog
Oh, clod jive, brag
Hi, crave gold job?
Child rave, job go
Job? Hair clod veg
Rid havoc gel job
Chi, glad job over?

Missed in the pre-election run-up

No. 2 Leader of Al-Qaeda in Iraq Killed
U.S. Military Blames Abu Qaswarah, a Moroccan, for Recent Attacks in North
By Ernesto Londoño
Washington Post Foreign Service
Thursday, October 16, 2008; Page A14

BAGHDAD, Oct. 15 -- The U.S. military on Wednesday announced the death of a man it described as the No. 2 leader of the Sunni insurgent group al-Qaeda in Iraq.

The military said it killed Abu Qaswarah on Oct. 5 during an operation in northern Iraq in which four additional alleged al-Qaeda in Iraq members were slain. Abu Qaswarah, also known as Abu Sara, directed the group's operations in northern Iraq, where al-Qaeda in Iraq remains entrenched and has been blamed for recent large-scale attacks, the military said.

Abu Qaswarah had no public profile in Iraq before the military's announcement of his death. U.S. military officials say they have been stunned by how quickly al-Qaeda in Iraq regenerates its leadership as top insurgents are detained or killed.

the panic is spreading

Failure to represent

Stam was the first Miss Indiana to win the pageant. This Hoosier said her favorite sport is football, not hoops.

"I know, it's supposed to be basketball," she said.

She was raised in Seymour, about 60 miles south of Indianapolis. Rather than the home-state Colts, she roots for the Chicago Bears. That's the team her boyfriend of three years cheers for.

Blago: the gift that keeps on taking

Thirty-two blue Blagojevich signs were erected in 2004 at a cost of $480,000. They read: "Open Road Tolling --- Rod R. Blagojevich Governor." It will cost an estimated $15,000 apiece to change them.

Which reminds me - with Blago, Big Time, and the Rezzzidunce out of the way, is it time to turn our rage on Little Todd Stroger?

stand way the phokk back

Swindler sez:

Just looking at his ERA, Pettitte appears to be coming off of a rough 2008– notably in the second half – but his BPIs and likely offensive support indicate that he continues to have some fanalytic gas left in the tank.
~

guns, butter, and tax cuts...

and I'll be dead by the time it all totally blows up! Sounds like a win-win-win-win-hey-kids-phokk-you to me.

Conclusion of hackneyed script

In the end, he left the Capitol in Springfield through a secret basement corridor full of grunting, clanking pipes, bare walls and puddles.

one advantage of a cold climate

Texas Road Signs Warn Of Zombie Attack

Besides the usual rush hour traffic, commuters in Austin, Texas, Monday also had to deal with reports of an imminent zombie attack.

Two city construction road signs near the University of Texas were hacked to display the warnings, reported the Austin American-Statesman.

The electronic signs, which usually warn motorists of traffic detours, instead included warnings such as "Caution! Zombies Ahead!" and "Nazi Zombies! Run!!!"

The signs also instructed motorists to "run for cold climates."

Feinstein: Destroying cars can help economy

CNN reports:

Under a bill introduced by Sen. Dianne Feinstein, D.-Calif., owners of older cars would get vouchers worth thousands of dollars toward the purchase of newer, more fuel-efficient vehicle. For the customer to get that cash, the car dealer would have to certify that the trade-in was getting scrapped and not resold. The car's vehicle identification number (VIN) would be tracked to make sure it never shows up on a vehicle registration again.

Crushing the old car has two benefits. First, it ensures that the consumer's purchase of a more efficient vehicle actually has a net environmental benefit. Second, it prevents a glut of used cars on the market, which would reduce trade-in values for new car buyers such as Sen. Dianne Feinstein, D.-Calif.

Gov. Pat Quinn is in charge

Blago out of Illinois Politics PERMANENTLY. W and Blago in the same month? Surely this must be a sign of the end times...

Great news! Blago back home safe (same day! wow, quick! it's great to have your own jet and stick somebody else with the tab) and went for a jog

"Yeah, it's unprecedented, but future generations will know that we have this thing called impeachment, and whenever any of our leaders, who are human beings like us, overstep the boundaries, the process is in place," Meeks said. "We have this thing called impeachment and it's bleeping golden and we've used it the right way."

This Murphy feller is coming out of this looking pretty good... not hard to imagine him beating whoever beats Quinn in the primary as the Democrat Party implodes in Illinois...

Sen. Matt Murphy of Palatine, whom Senate Republicans have put in the spotlight during the impeachment process, offered a blistering critique of Blagojevich.

"He reminded us today in real detail that he is an unusually good liar," Murphy said. "We bent over backwards to make sure that this process was fair."

"His conduct this last week, though, is not why I'm voting to convict him," Murphy said. "It's pretty clear that he extorted or attempted to extort."

"He came down and wrapped himself in the constitution," Murphy said. "He's a hypocrite."

"Is there any real question in anybody's mind that the thing he saw as 'bleeping golden' he planned to use for his own benefit, not for the state of Illinois? I don't think so," Murphy said, referring to Obama's vacated U.S. Senate seat.

liberal, Obama-sycophantic media at it again

REPORT: GOP Lawmakers Outnumber Democratic Lawmakers 2 To 1 In Stimulus Debate On Cable News»

As Media Matters has documented, during the Bush administration, the media consistently allowed conservatives to dominate their shows, booking them as guests far more often than progressives. The rationale was that Republicans were “in power.”

It appears that old habits die hard. Even though President Obama and his team are in control of the executive branch and Democrats are in the majority in Congress, the cable networks are still turning more often to Republicans and allowing them to set the agenda on major issues, most recently on the debate over the economic recovery package. . .

The drastically imbalanced coverage isn’t the first time that the news networks have effectively supported attacks on the recovery plans. As ThinkProgress reported on Monday, the cable networks, the Sunday shows and the network newscasts promoted a controversial CBO non-report 81 times before the actual CBO analysis of the stimulus plan was released.

annudder mission accomplished

John McKay, who represented the Riverside County-based California Lutheran High School, said the ruling correctly acknowledged that the school's purpose was to "teach Christian values in a Christian setting pursuant to a Christian code of conduct."

Done.
~

Is this the last phokking plane ride we have to pay for?

Happening today
• Now: Governor flying to Springfield

Maybe our next gubnor will discover that the gubnor has, like, an office and s#i+... right there in the phokking capital...

He's pointing at you, Fung

Pitchfork attacks Yo-Yo Ma as "rank opportunist"

Fresh off hitting minor controversy on Inauguration Day, the famous cellist has become collateral damage in the indie tastemakers' latest anti-Smashing Pumpkins broadside:

The Pumpkins' "FOL" will soundtrack the commercial for the Hyundai Genesis Coupe, which will air immediately before kickoff on Sunday. Because, you know, when you think of the mid-90s modern-rock-radio glory days, you think of Hyundai. According to a press release, the commercial will focus on the car's "fluid design and track-worthy performance." Fellow rank opportunist Yo-Yo Ma will also soundtrack a Genesis Coupe ad, though that one won't air during the Super Bowl.

Fat Blips (cont)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vn494V1JrIc

This commercial bothers Fung. So because her child who has an imagination calls this woman a twin of a snowman, that means she's fat & has to go on a special K diet? And she was wearing a freaking winter coat at the time too? What is this country coming to?

Who will address our crumbling golf infrastructure?

Congress looks to keep stimulus cash from zoos, golf courses

"I swear I just saw Smiff on TV celebrating in the clubhouse! But that can't be, can it?"

...no, it can't be. It was this guy:

I'm disappointed in all of you for not beating me to posting this

The instructions for constructing this massive torpedo-shaped amalgamation of two pounds of bacon woven through and around two pounds of sausage and slathered in barbecue sauce first appeared last month on the Web site of a team of Kansas City competition barbecuers. They say a diverse collection of well over 16,000 Web sites have linked to the recipe, celebrating, or sometimes scolding, its excessiveness. A fresh audience could be ready to discover it on Super Bowl Sunday.

You won't have Rod "Perfect Hair" Blagojevich to kick around much longer

In 1980, most twentysomething men probably pined to bump into one of the Beatles or maybe Bo Derek; Blago wanted the autograph of our nation’s most notorious politician. Knowing this is like being handed the lost first chapter of The Blagojevich Saga after reading three-quarters of the way through: You’re already up to your eyeballs in drama, but everything that transpired thus far now rings truer— The taped conversations! The threats during taped conversations! The swearing during taped conversations!
~
In the summer of 1980 before he started law school, Blago and a friend, on their first trip to New York City, (the friend was later in the news for giving Blago's daughter a check for $1,500 after the man's wife got a state job) awoke at 4:30 am so 23-year-old Rod could get an autograph from Nixon as he left his Upper East Side townhouse for his morning walk. Wearing a suit, Nixon emerged at 7. As his secret service agents eyed the boys warily, Blago, wearing running shorts, was waiting with his line: "Mr. President, can I trouble you for an autograph?" He asked that Nixon sign the autograph to his mother who, Blagojevich explained, loved Nixon because "he had suffered so much," had "two lovely daughters," and "was loyal to Pat."
~
While going to school at Northwestern University, Blagojevich idolized Nixon, according to friends, frequently defending him during the Watergate scandal. According to a long-time Blagojevich friend, the future governor often found inspiration in Nixon's "me against the world" sensibility. Blagojevich particularly loved the fact that Nixon bounced back after the "you won't have Dick Nixon to kick around anymore" speech after losing the race for California governor in 1962.
~

One less thing to worry about

Though somehow, this is still bound to wipe out the Horror bullpen eventually...

Doc’s confession: We made up ‘cello scrotum’
~

"errors and mistakes" were made (cont'd)

From today's Chronicle of Higher Education...

In 2007, after several high-profile plagiarism scandals, Southern Illinois University released a 17-page report on how to deal with the issue. The report includes a lengthy definition of plagiarism, explaining exactly what does and does not merit the dreaded "p" word.

One problem: That definition appears to have been plagiarized.

The 139-word definition used in the report is nearly identical to the definition adopted by Indiana University in 2005. . .

In recent years, Southern Illinois has had more than its share of plagiarism cases. In 2006, the chancellor of the Carbondale campus was asked to step down after it was discovered that portions of a strategic plan he wrote for Southern Illinois had been taken from a strategic plan he helped write for another university.

The following year it was revealed that the president of the system, Glenn Poshard, had copied large sections of his 1984 dissertation without citation. A university committee deemed the copying "errors and mistakes" rather than plagiarism. . .

Boobies!

'Man boobs'
Why UK is seeing big rise in male breast reduction

I'd recommend wearing a bro myself...

Fungrant

Scrabble Beta sucks.  No way to sugar coat it.  Scrabble Beta sucks.  They sued to get a better (though obviously a ripoff) product yanked from the Facebooks and then they put up this product that sucks arse.  Case & Point - I gets a note yesterday saying Corms came back for more after a defeat over the weekend.  Fung goes in - says no active game.  Then it says error, please reload, which it like ALWAYS FREAKING SAYS!  So Corms, I don't see your game - it doesn't show up.  Scrabulous didn't have those fancy graphics, but it freaking worked (most of the time).  Hasbro, get off your arse and fix this $#!+.

pray harder, dude (cont'd)

"It may not come off this way, but you’ve never met a host who wants to be wrong more than me. (Well then... great news! - Ed.) I pray, literally pray, each day, 'Dear Lord, show me where I'm wrong.'"
. . .

"This man may be a capitalist, but he is probably more of a socialist. He has surrounded himself with Marxist views his whole life, so how much of it has rubbed off on him, I think, is a reasonable question to ask." (God? Buehler? Anyone? - Ed.)

Are we paying for this?

Gov's TV tour continues:
6:45 a.m. CBS' Evening News
7:00 a.m. CBS' Early Show
8:10 a.m. Fox & Friends
8:45 a.m. AP TV
10:30 a.m. Fox Business Network
11:15 a.m. In Session/TruTV
12:30 p.m. FOX's Glenn Beck
1:30 p.m. CNN's Campbell Brown
2:00 p.m. MSNBC's Rachel Maddow
2:30 p.m. FOX's Greta Van Susteren
3:30 p.m. CNN's DL Hughley

Maybe Rush Limbaugh could write for Pravda

Look, for a typical example, at Pravda.ru, the Russian Web site that succeeded the organ of the Soviet Communist Party. Writing in the spirit of times past, one of its authors informed readers last week that Obama's presidency was a sham. After all, he "became the president because one needed a scapegoat during hard times of the crisis," and he will not last: "If Obama does not manage to extricate the nation from the crisis in two or three years, the Republicans will unveil their real candidate, and Obama's presidency will finish earlier than expected." The U.S. president, in other words, is merely a placeholder -- a description that makes him sound remarkably similar to the president of Russia.

the clinical evaluation is in: he's not crazy, he's just an @sshole

Though I think the full medical term is yooge PHOKKING @sshole...

He quotes poets at press conferences, but seldom takes questions. Reporters have seen him grab cell phones from complete strangers, interrupting conversations to say, "Hi, this is the governor." When lawmakers unanimously reject his proposal to tax businesses, he says that’s a vote of confidence.

Is Gov. Rod Blagojevich crazy?

The answer: Not exactly, according to experts in mental and personality disorders. But that doesn’t mean Blagojevich qualifies as normal.

"I’m not sure the question is about (mental) stability," says Dr. Joe Bohlen, a Springfield psychiatrist. "It may be more about personality."

"Personality," my friends...
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"This is William Kristol’s last column."

K-Mad's search for a scapegoat goes on (cont'd)

Coffee Linked to Lower Dementia Risk

Wonderful

Jon Hilkevitch: When CTA driver runs light, you pay

The change was made in part because of pressure from the bus drivers union in response to the proliferation of red-light cameras across the city, officials said.

Once again, darned unions making us pay for what the drivers should pay for.

Running red lights is not condoned under any circumstances, including to get tardy buses back on schedule, transit officials said.

"Bus operators are professional drivers, and they are taught defensive driving," Gaffney said. "When they are approaching an intersection, they are supposed to be covering the brake [pedal with their foot], and if they see the yellow light, they should be prepared to bring the bus to a safe stop."

Asked to respond to comments from bus drivers that sudden stops could cause injury to bus passengers, Gaffney said the drivers are "trained to avoid driving in a manner that would cause them to stop suddenly."

Yes, well they all need a refresher course on this one. Whenever I've been standing on a bus I've been nearly sent flying quite a few times. And lots of those times we aren't at a traffic light, but in rush hour traffic on LSD. They all think driving = gassing it up and then jamming on the brakes, so it's funny that they try and get out of the red light thing by saying "but then we'd have to jam on the brakes" when that's how they normally drive.

I remember a copper coming over and just chewing out a bus driver for running a light on Michigan. I didn't see the whole thing but he kept coming up with lame excuse after lame excuse and she was having none of it. Wish we had more like her. If the CTA pays and then "disciplines" the drivers internally, who's to say that they don't just sweep it under the carpet and make us pay?

Don't try this at home... ok, Smiff can try it, but he has to report back to the rest of us

There isn't much to making bacon vodka: You throw a few cooked slices into the bottle, put it in a cupboard, and wait three weeks.

Police Should be Given More Power

That must be one old looking 14 year old.

As seen on Krusty's Kavalcade of Komedy

You too can sign up for updates about Barack Obama's Renew America Together (BORAT) initiative at http://www.usaservice.org

Find yourself (through the) printing (of) money

Ben Bernanke, on the bailout(s):

I've been condemned by traditional economists who said that printing money is responsible for inflation. ...I found myself doing extraordinary things that aren't in the textbooks.

No, just kidding, that's the chief central banker of Zimbabwe.

if the New York Times were Wikipedia...

I'd tag this weasel word as follows:

Through his budget director, Peter R. Orszag, Mr. Obama committed to seeing that three-quarters of the combined spending and tax cuts would be used within 18 months, to provide the fiscal jolt that economists[who?] say is needed to jump-start the economy.

...of course, there would also be a lot more wrong with the article

The more things change, the more they are Dusty

Manager Dusty Baker confirmed Thursday that Willy Taveras will be the Reds' leadoff hitter.
Naturally, Baker focuses on Taveras' speed rather than his .331 career on-base percentage. "His role is he's our center fielder and our leadoff man," Baker said. "The fact that he's so young, he's going to get better. A lot of people talk about his on-base percentage. I like to think in terms of him getting into scoring position." If you're curious, the "so young" Taveras turned 27 last month.
~

O-bomb-a!

18 killed as suspected U.S. missiles hit Pakistan
Alleged U.S. spy planes attack militant areas in first strikes of Obama era
Associated Press
updated 41 minutes ago

ISLAMABAD, Pakistan - Two suspected U.S. missile attacks killed 18 people Friday on the Pakistan side of the Afghan border, in the first such strikes since the inauguration of President Barack Obama.

etymology marches on

I was there! We were probably among the very last ones to get through in time.

Purplegate

A serious and preventable error caused by poor planning, derived from the denial of entry to thousands of ticketholders at the Purple Gate on Inauguration Day 2009.

Q: On this, George W. Bush's last day in office, what one word do you feel best describes the past eight years?

A: Purplegate.

John Quincy Adams: wid da tarrists

"I checked. We have never had a president sworn into office without a Bible."
-- Fox News's Glenn Beck, 1/22/09

VERSUS

"According to his own version of his Inauguration, [John Quincy] Adams took the oath upon a volume of law.."
-- Senate inauguration history website
~

But wait til Jimmy Bloheim gets a restraining order because they stole his mantra

There’s no sugar-coating what More Cupcakes thinks of its competition.

The Gold Coast bakery at 1 E. Delaware that made headlines last year with its bacon-lettuce-tomato cupcake (and other odd, savory flavors) says one of its bakers has gone to work for the competition — the newly opened Sugar Bliss Cupcake Boutique at 115 N. Wabash — in violation of a confidentiality agreement.

It has filed a lawsuit against Melanie Rodewald, the baker in question, in Cook County Circuit Court. More was also granted a temporary restraining order that prevents Ms. Rodewald from working at Sugar Bliss. . .

Rock Me Hard Place

Governor: They're 'getting rid of me to raise taxes'

I put this quandary to a co-worker - keep the Governor, or higher taxes. His answer? Ditka.

The new rezzzidence of the former Rezzzidunce?

Bill Kristol: new front-page editor?

NYT A1 today. Spot the logical flaw, or just be attuned to my boldfacing:

BEIRUT, Lebanon — The emergence of a former Guantánamo Bay detainee as the deputy leader of Al Qaeda’s Yemeni branch has underscored the potential complications in carrying out the executive order President Obama signed Thursday that the detention center be shut down within a year [that is, during 2009].

The militant, Said Ali al-Shihri, is suspected of involvement in a deadly bombing of the United States Embassy in Yemen’s capital, Sana, in September. He was released to Saudi Arabia in 2007 and passed through a Saudi rehabilitation program for former jihadists before resurfacing with Al Qaeda in Yemen.

So, according to the New York Times's Robert F. Worth: The way the Bush administration let a terrorist go scot-free back to Saudi Arabia in 2007 "underscores the potential complications" in Obama's plan to handle detainees in a completely different way than Bush did.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz(cont)

Palin Wants to Write a Book

The Hollywood Reporter says Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin (R) as apparently enlisted the help of Washington attorney Robert Barnett to sell a book proposal. Barnett has previously brokered book deals for President Barack Obama, former President Bill Clinton and Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton. And he's already handling Obama campaign manager David Plouffe's book about the the 2008 campaign.

In contrast to the always wrong Bill "Always Wrong" Kristol, some news outlets had the details more or less figured out

"Mere days from assuming the presidency and closing the door on eight years of Bill Clinton, president-elect George W. Bush assured the nation in a televised address yesterday that 'our long national nightmare of peace and prosperity is finally over...'"

"My fellow Americans . . . at long last, we have reached the end of the dark period in American history that will come to be known as the Clinton Era, eight long years characterized by unprecedented economic expansion, a sharp decrease in crime, and sustained peace overseas. The time has come to put all of that behind us."

. . . Bush promised to bring an end to the "severe war drought that plagued the nation under Clinton, assuring citizens that the U.S. will engage in at least one Gulf War-level armed conflict in the next four years."

"You better believe we're going to mix it up with somebody at some point during my administration. . . Unlike my predecessor, I am fully committed to putting soldiers in battle situations. Otherwise, what is the point of even having a military?"

"On the economic side, Bush vowed to bring back economic stagnation by implementing substantial tax cuts, which would lead to a recession, which would necessitate a tax hike, which would lead to a drop in consumer spending, which would lead to layoffs, which would deepen the recession even further."

And there was much rejoicing

Shockingly few witness Obama's swearing-in

The Day

I kept wondering if they flashed back to the podium after the convocation if Justice Stevens was yelling into a dead microphone, "I quit, I quit."

It's a shame Strom Thurmond was not here to witness this day. On the other hand, he would have loved Michelle.

It was a paradigm shift for me today. I was hoping that after Bush left office he would be prosecuted. Or if that failed, shot. Maybe I'm just in a particularly good mood, but I hope they can convict him and members of his administration for all the crimes they committed in office. Whether he or anyone is ever held specifically responsible for it, beyond censure, I'm not sure I care anymore. History will judge him, and he is unreachable, irredeemable and unreformable by any method of punishment that I can fathom.

This is getting ridiculous

Is Wrigley still big enough to host a football game?

On the one hand, Fung might actually go to a 'Cats game if it were that close. On da udder hand, it's Wrigley. Where dreams go to die. Horribly. Why don't you try charging less for a game instead?

Whitey keeping darky down (cont)

Apparently Obama flubbed the oath because Roberts flubbed the oath, thereby throwing him off. I tell you whitey, you never let us have anything.