UNBELIEVABLY SHOCKING!!!

Purging of the Voting rolls has begun! Blocking Voters Appear Illegal

~

When it rains, it pours

CTA fare hike planned

50% more in taxes, now dis? They just chip away until you have nuttin left. No wonder the Republicans still have support...

Ode to Hannity

In case you misses it on KO...


Ode to Sean Hannity
by John Cleese

Aping urbanity
Oozing with vanity
Plump as a manatee
Faking humanity
Journalistic calamity
Intellectual inanity
Fox Noise insanity
You’re a profanity
Hannity

Watch them dismiss this as "British Propaganda."

Drunks, Post-Debate

9:15 PM me: My friends, i am a HYOOOGE AHOLE
9:16 PM Kevin: yep you betcha
catch silver?
me: taped, haven't watched yet
i hear he mentioned the Stealle Pilots
9:18 PM aka Seattle
Kevin: he did work them in somehow
9:24 PM me: big win for Troy over Florida Atlantic tonight
Kevin: i missed dat
9:25 PM can i just but in here and reiterate -- YOOOOOGE AHOLE
butt
aka
9:26 PM me: yes
Kevin: if that stick gets rammed up there any farther its gonna bust out through his face which is gonna be totally phokking gross
9:27 PM me: i heard dat
Kevin: on the bright side, he'd be ready for halloween
9:29 PM me: i've heard no one picking the Phillies except Rob Neyer
Kevin: neyer - he's mavericky
9:31 PM me: i hear dat Obama's best friends are all terrorists.
9:33 PM Tom Brokaw: SUCKS
9:36 PM what is McCain tilling exactly?
9:37 PM i doubt it would be a cool hand - fiery, yes
9:38 PM Kevin: we need a cool hand at the tiller... for something, i'm sure, eventually
9:53 PM Kevin: a k and a g and a b
9:54 PM i take back all the bad things i said about chris matthews
10:00 PM Kevin: msnbc is re-running the debate now in case you can't get enough
10:09 PM Kevin: must sleep
10:17 PM me: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Kevin: funny you should mention it
me: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
10:18 PM Kevin: dere he goes again
me: z
Kevin: now i got bogged down in something else
me: McCain: no knockout. Sorry, my friend.
Kevin: mccain said dat? senile?
10:19 PM me: no, i said dat
Kevin: he's behind about 13 rounds to nuttin
10:20 PM me: Biden at mother-in-law's funeral. didn't stop the sleaze...
Kevin: its not mccain's fault she died
why should he pay the price?
10:21 PM me: a fair point, though Phil Gramm foreclosed on her house and she killed herself
10:22 PM she shoulda known the riskz
Kevin: i have to assume she did
i'm a news-paper man, dammit
me: WAML: STILL OVER
10:23 PM Kevin: yay!
it should continue to be over for the forseeable future
see also: LegComm
me: they could happen again if we let them...
10:24 PM Kevin: probably only a matter of time
and the kicker is, we'll be dead
me: with any luck
10:25 PM Kevin: shirazez?
10:27 PM me: Chilean carmenere
mixing it up!
Kevin: you ARE!
10:28 PM me: on fire on da Twitter
10:30 PM Kevin: i have trouble staying twittered
10:31 PM checkin wash capitals tix prices -- shitty seats are 25 to 50 bucks - good seats run to 250 - do dey know deres like a depression an shit?
me: isn't dat hockey? and... why?
10:32 PM Kevin: mexican emo kid: http://www.kcrw.com/music/programs/mb/mb080711ximena_sarinana/#
hockey is a sport that i enjoy if i have a good reason to enjoy it, which last happened about 15 yrs ago
10:34 PM Economist global election goes viral on da twitter via LoC?
10:35 PM me: you knew da riskz
10:36 PM Kevin: on the contrary, i was insouciantly naive of the risks
me: in-whaaaa?
Kevin: i mighta spelt it wrong
10:37 PM me: did you mean phokking?
Kevin: http://aolsvc.merriam-webster.aol.com/dictionary/insouciance
phokking... yes
its a french word
10:38 PM me: figgers
Kevin: i also like da french fried pataters
me: that's a given
10:43 PM me: Ambiorix Burgos turned himself in Tuesday night, a week after police say he was involved in a hit-and-run accident that killed two women.
Kevin: he will be missed
10:44 PM on the bright side, this probably means i can get him a couple rounds later next year
10:45 PM me: Surgery is a possibility for Travis Hafner after his end-of-season physical found areas of concern in his right shoulder.
you are a Nationwide Baseball Disaster
Kevin: "areas of concern" - new name for da cherriez?
me: yes
Kevin: its pholksy
10:46 PM me: why did i think 4 teams make the playoffs in that league?
Kevin: i have only a cursory understanding of anything thats going on there
so its prolly contagiamous
10:47 PM me: Carlos Marmol suffered minor injuries in a car accident early Tuesday in the Dominican Republic.
you?
Kevin: he was a chicken a year or two back... i tried to trade for him in bbl, if that means anything
10:48 PM me: so it was you
Kevin: hmmm... i kinda phink da cubs deserve some credit here
10:50 PM i see the bailout is working
me: Astros GM Ed Wade doesn't intend to go with J.R. Towles or Humberto Quintero as his top catcher next year.
10:51 PM yep, bailout: HYOOGE
Kevin: towles - dat was me
me: yes
Kevin: i did dat
i'd do it again
me: let's see what his final BA was...
Kevin: do numbers go that low?
10:52 PM me: .137
almost
10:55 PM Rich Harden will see a shoulder specialist before the Cubs have to make a decision Wednesday on his $7 million option.Barring the discovery of something (a donut? squirrels? a Slinky?) that's going to require major surgery, Harden's option is sure to be picked up. Even if he needs a cleanup procedure, it'd be worth paying him $7 million for 2009.
10:56 PM Kevin: i suppose they would be relieved if it was only squirrels
11:00 PM me: Cubs could use him:
General manager Walt Jocketty said Tuesday that the Reds will not re-sign Corey Patterson.Patterson hit just .205/.238/.344 after signing a one-year, $3 million contract, yet got 392 plate appearances while inexplicably hitting leadoff 32 times in manager Dusty Baker's lineup.
11:10 PM Kevin: corey patterson explained: the chix picked him in the minor league draft when he was in A ball
11:11 PM the rest is history
me: same for the Hillcrest Hummingbirds - never had a chance
11:12 PM Kevin: does he envy the dead? yes
me: still, he'll get 300+ PAs next year for some ML team
11:13 PM Kevin: has he crossed the "proven veteran" line yet?
me: almost there! one more year i think
Kevin: really, what more does he have to prove?
11:17 PM i should go to bed. shiraz?
11:19 PM i'll regret it tomorrow, but why not...
me: yeah, why not
Hannity is pwned: http://www.crooksandliars.com/john-amato/obama-spokesman-gibbs-smokes-sean-hanni
11:31 PM Kevin: that 56 second clip of martin on the earlier show -- what a yooge phokking shitface - dats da mccain way
11:33 PM what exactly is a community organizer? i dunno... but it sounds like somephing tarrist!
11:34 PM me: well, Jesus was one
Kevin: mccain - down in the sewer so long that all the sewer creatures follow him around
jesus was wid da lepers prostitutes and tax collectors - nuff said
11:36 PM me: Colbert: librarians are pinko commies
Kevin: yes! look for that on about 287 library listservs tomorrow
~

2nd job for K-Mad?

Send in the clowns

QT News You Can Use:

Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus will hold an open audition for clowns at 1:30 p.m. Nov. 12 at the Allstate Arena in Rosemont.

This is not to be confused with similar auditions scheduled across the nation eight days earlier.
~

Debate This

what's a little election-rigging if it means we got to keep the guys who were protecting our liberties?

Florida in 2000 you know all about. But did you ever seriously focus on Ohio 2004?
~

You've done a helluva job, Bushie...

According to Gallup: "only 9% of Americans are satisfied with the way things are going in the United States -- the lowest such reading in Gallup Poll history."

Damned Taxers & Spenders!

Huh? Homeowners blindsided by taxes

Fung's property tax bill was 50% higher than last years. 50%? And WTF am I getting 4 dat? Anyone? Better schools? Parks-Museum/Aquarium Bond? WTF is dat? Though Sarge would gladly pay anything that keeps Shedd going. I better find out where this line to protest is at.

I got the revaluation thing last year. I had NO clue what it meant. It didn't tell me what my new taxes would be. It was just a buncha numbers. Now Fung thinks he's as smart as any cookie out there, but he was just lost. Lost in those figgers. Now he's gotta pay 50% more. For the same ol' $#!+.

Listen to Fung complain. And it's not like he can't afford this increase. I just wonder how those who can't are coping. Because I can tell you I didn't budget for this. You can't budget for a 50% increase. And it sounds like others had even higher increases.

McCain - wid da tarrists

I look forward to Barracuda's attacks on him.

On Wednesday morning, John McCain's campaign released a list of 100 former ambassadors endorsing the GOP presidential nominee.

Second on the list, though her name is misspelled, is Leonore Annenberg, currently the president and chairman of the Annenberg Foundation and widow of ambassador and philanthropist Walter Annenberg. Ms. Annenberg was herself the "chief of protocol" at the State Department under President Reagan.

If the last name sounds familiar, it's because it also graces the name of the Chicago education board where Barack Obama and William Ayers sat in the room six times together.

Barbara Ann

Was I the only one who found much of last night's debate unwatchable? For most of it I don't think either candidate did a particularly good job. Sure I agree with Obama's policies, but for most of the time last night he seem to be throwing too many telegraphed punches at Bush, the Republicans, and muddling where he might have had better thought out attacks at McCain. Only with respect to the "Bomb Iran" issue did I think he made the kind of direct and stinging assault against the illogic of McCain's "talk softly but carry a big stick" argument.

I don't think McCain made any major errors, though he continues to amaze me with his failure to show any humanity towards Obama. I suppose that may be called for when some of your support believes that your opponent is (1) a Manchurian candidate (2) a closet Muslim (3) colored (4) the anti-Christ or all of the above. I must admit though I like the wink and nod McCain doctrine - (sure we are willing to bomb anyone, anytime, anywhere) we just aren't going to talk about bombing anyone - that would be wrong. I mean it worked for Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines. Better to be duplicitous and bellicose. [Ed: this means lie and fight - Sarah].

I just found myself thinking - I'd rather be reading policy papers from both candidates than enduring this junk.

mammals schmammals - what have they ever done for us (besides being quite delicious)?

News item - Field Museum expert: One in four mammals threatened with extinction

this is probably nothing to worry about (cont'd)

• • Member of a John McCain campaign crowd as McCain asked "Who is the real Barack Obama?" while questioning Obama's patriotism:

"A terrorist!"

• • Member of a Sarah Palin campaign crowd as Palin continued comparing Obama to terrorists:

"Kill him!"

If McCain looked impatient at times during last night's debate, it was probably because he was eager to get back to inciting violence.

so did people suddenly grow brains practically overnight or is McCranky just really that bad?

In my inbox from Nov. 4, 2004:

"A post-election poll indicates most of those surveyed are hopeful the country will be drawn together during President Bush's second term... They also expect Bush to put aside partisan agendas and lead in a bipartisan way, according to the CNN/USA Today/Gallup poll. Just over half -- 51 percent -- said they were pleased with the outcome of the election; 38 percent said they were upset."

A SHOCKING percentage of Lou Dobbs viewers DID NOT agree with Lou Dobbs tonight and are consequently wid da tarrists

Do you believe we will hear either candidate offer any real solutions on the issues of illegal immigration, free trade, outsourcing and prosperity?
Yes 13% 655
No 87% 4581
Total Votes: 5236
Though sublimely inane, this is not a scientific poll

da Planet Earf: in da tank for Obama

Though Georgia likes McCain. (Not that Georgia. Obama might win that Georgia.)

there is probably an interesting story behind that (cont'd)

9:57 PM [Sean] By the way, a special shout out for an absolutely horrible experience on the campus of Belmont University. I'm not sure I've ever been to a less welcoming place. We hated this campus and the staff here so much that we left to watch the debate at a pizza joint. I don't like to regret things, but it would be hard to overstate how terrible a day this has been, and how crappy every interaction we had in Tennessee was. It was a terrible decision to leave Indiana and come down here. That had to be said for the record.

How the Mighty have Fallen

From all the $#!+ on dis blog about their handball team to....

Iceland teeters on the brink of bankruptcy

Mr. Burns is really making the rounds...

Tonight
In what might be the second worst kept secret of all time, I will be on the Colbert Report tonight. We will also, of course, be liveblogging the debate.

-- Nate Silver at 5:22 PM 51 Comments...

He was also in the studio last night with Olbermann. He does a weird thing with his eyes--distracted by the lights, like a moth. He has Obama at nearly a 90% win chance right now, which means his fall will be a spectacular crispy, crackly fireball, preceded by so much sleaze that the Swift Boaters will look like a bunch of Girl Scouts in comparison.
~

Prime Time

Any LoCers around to watch the Falcons game this weekend? I hear they are playing the local team. Anyone want to get together?

Surely, The Trib won't break their streak, will they?

Which candidate would you endorse?
The editorial board is debating its endorsement for president.
As we think about that choice, we want to hear from you.
Which candidate would you endorse?

Barack Obama (3998 responses)
63.0%
John McCain (2189 responses)
34.5%
Third-party candidate (160 responses)
2.5%
6347 total responses (Results not scientific and highly irrelevant)
~

postseason haiku

years flow like water
generations live, and die
goat curse still working

eighty dollar seat
assholes spilling beer on me
soriano: whiff!

they say the ivy
turns bright crimson in the fall
no one knows for sure

Why yes, he's like a circus show attraction: Come SEE the World's BIGGEST ASSHOLE and his stupid fucking hair!

Trump: 'I'm the biggest celebrity'

Q: How will you attract celebrities to your new Chicago hotel?

A: I think we're getting most of them because the name Trump attracts celebrities. When you get right down to it, who's the biggest celebrity in the world? Donald Trump. At least, my wife says that.

~

More Polling Madness

Quick Vote

Are you thinking about alternatives to stocks for your savings?

No, sticking with stocks 35% 69031
Yes, a CD 20% 39425
Yes, a mattress 45% 88097
Total Votes: 196553

read related article »

This is not a scientific poll, but it is profoundly idiotic

Sarah for the Nobel!

The Poetry of Sarah Palin

Gollum Special for K-Mad

The Daily Show: McCain IS Gollum


We loves the bill! We hates the bill! We loves the bill… hates the bill!

That’s an unfair joke…it’s an unfair joke because Gollum is an old man, corrupted by his quest for ultimate power and…oh.
~

Look, he's trying to learn from the 'it's gonna be easy!' Iraq disaster

Bush says rescue plan will take some time to work (AP)

And he seems to be correct:

Wall Street tumbles amid global sell-off (AP)
It has been another extraordinary and traumatic day on Wall Street, with the Dow Jones industrials plunging as much as 800 points before closing with a loss of about 350.
~

Q: Which part of Virginia is communist country?

A: All of it.

News item: Sen. John McCain's brother, Joe, made an apparent joke today that Democratic-leaning Alexandria and Arlington are "Communist country."

News item: Key finding: McCain no longer leads in any region of the state.
~

Buy Buy Buy!

New Product for Phelps to hawk...

A Soundtrack for Underwater Workouts

Consider this the beginning of the end of the end of capitalism -- America is fighting back!

News item: For the first time in at least five years, Potbelly has launched a new sandwich...

The clubby — with ham, turkey, bacon, provolone cheese and ranch dressing — has 30% more meat than Potbelly’s 11 other sandwiches and a higher price to match: $5.39, compared with $4.19.

I guess calling it "How to Survive the End Times" would have been kind of oxymoronic

When Technology Fails: A Manual for Self-Reliance, Sustainability, and Surviving the Long Emergency

Funny Headline

Starbucks denies it wastes water

I think they do waste water, but for an entirely different reason...

Tastes like burning

Which Cubs collapse broke your heart most of all?

1969 (570 responses) 11.0%
1984 (679 responses) 13.0%
2003 (1854 responses) 35.6%
2004 (206 responses) 4.0%
2008 (1895 responses) 36.4%

5204 total responses (Results not scientific, but profoundly cub (that is so))

Edgewater Smelts: Cub-like exploits

Finish with the best record in the league, and get crushed in the first round of the playoffs.

Cheat Sheet

Sarah Palin Debate Flow Chart

quit making sweeping generalizations about rednecks

He's writing to the Economist, but he might as well be talking to the elitist effete snobs at LoC.

SIR - In America, the redneck is not as homogeneous as Bagehot presumes. In Sarah Palin's state of Alaska, there are only two species of tree squirrel. They are both classified as "fur" animals: one has a very minimal amount of meat and the other is nocturnal. Hunting for either, while legal, is non-existent. Consequently, if you did come across someone eating "squirrel gumbo" it would be a very rare occurrence indeed.

By the way, gumbo is a dish of the American South, and is thus less likely to be found on the table of an Alaskan redneck than bear bourguignon.

meanwhile, the clown crisis continues to roil unnoticed in the background

“Our goal was to create this sort of craziness in your mind,” says Chad Benjamin Potter, the lead clown on the project. “When you think of clowns you think of costumes and makeup and hair. When you think naked clowns, that’s something else entirely.”

~~~~~~~~
Krusty the Clown: Uh, just one thing. Are you guys any good at covering up any youthful and middle-aged indiscretions?
Mr. Burns: Are these indiscretions romantic, financial, or treasonous?
Krusty the Clown: A Russian hooker. You tell me.
Mr. Burns: Oh, no problem. We'll say you were on a fact-finding mission.
Krusty the Clown: I did find out one fact. She was a guy.

Basically, it belongs to me now

But... Joe Biden said deregulation was bad...

Investor's Business Daily tries to tell us people aren't buying what Nancy Pelosi and Barney Frank are selling:

Doug Schoen, a Democratic strategist and pollster who worked for President Bill Clinton for six years, said that should Mr. Obama win next month, he should not mistake his election for a mandate for sharply higher taxes on the wealthy or major government expansion. “The polling I’ve done shows that people are anti-Republican, not pro-left, not pro-redistribution,” he said. “They’re ever more skeptical of Washington.”

For example, in the poll by CBS News released earlier this week, 44 percent of Americans said businesses now faced “too much” or “the right amount” of regulation, compared to 43 percent who said they faced too little. In a New York Times/CBS News Poll in September, 42 percent said Mr. Bush’s tax cuts, which overwhelmingly benefit the wealthy, should be made permanent, while 36 percent said they should be allowed to expire over the next several years.

Most strikingly, 34 percent described themselves as conservative, compared to only 20 percent as liberal. Those figures have hardly changed since September 2000, when 32 percent described themselves as conservative and 20 percent as liberal.

Then again, what should one expect from...oh. That's the New York Times again. I keep screwing this up...

Colts FTFW

lightly edited to remove irrelevancies...

(3:34:55 PM) fungster: indy scores on 4th & 7
(3:35:04 PM) fungster: down 10
(3:35:08 PM) fungster: 4 mins to go
(3:35:13 PM) briggs: hah
(3:36:52 PM) fungster: indy onside kick recovered by Houston
(3:40:44 PM) fungster: Houston fumbles, Indy returns for TD!!!!!!!1
(3:41:00 PM) briggs: lol
(3:41:24 PM) briggs: how many timeouts do the colts have?
(3:41:29 PM) fungster: 14pts in 30 sec
(3:42:40 PM) fungster: 1 timeout
(3:42:46 PM) briggs: hmm
(3:42:49 PM) briggs: well
(3:42:57 PM) briggs: they can't give up more than probably one first down
(3:43:20 PM) fungster: 2nd and 8
(3:43:24 PM) fungster: Hou 22
(3:43:34 PM) fungster: 3:11 to go
(3:43:54 PM) fungster: incomplete
(3:44:01 PM) briggs: haha
(3:44:02 PM) fungster: lucky there
(3:44:05 PM) fungster: stops clock
(3:44:10 PM) briggs: don't give manning this chance, houston
(3:44:46 PM) fungster: fumblee
(3:44:55 PM) fungster: Indy ball!!!!!!!
(3:44:59 PM) briggs: what?!
(3:45:27 PM) fungster: qb scrambles
(3:45:37 PM) fungster: they knocked the ball out of his hand
(3:45:48 PM) briggs: lol
(3:45:58 PM) briggs: i'm so mad this isn't on, haha
(3:46:25 PM) fungster: well apparently the priority here is the bears game
(3:46:27 PM) briggs: i've got baltimore vs. tennessee
(3:47:58 PM) briggs: hope my dad didn't give up on the game, hahaha
(3:50:16 PM) fungster: indy td catch
(3:50:20 PM) briggs: lmao
(3:50:20 PM) fungster: under review
(3:50:27 PM) briggs: and they lead
(3:51:37 PM) fungster: confirmed
(3:51:41 PM) briggs: lol
(3:51:42 PM) fungster: TD!!!!!!!!!!!11

Drill, Baby, Drill!

AP Investigation: Ike environmental toll apparent (AP)

Hurricane Ike's winds and massive waves destroyed oil platforms, tossed storage tanks and punctured pipelines. The environmental damage only now is becoming apparent: At least a half million gallons of crude oil spilled into the Gulf of Mexico and the marshes, bayous and bays of Louisiana and Texas, according to an analysis of federal data by The Associated Press.

~

Nationwide Cubs Disaster

Dat dude wiff da goat musta been really, really, really, really, really mad wiff da Cubs...

~

A Can't Miss Opportunity!!

Sign up today and start receiving Newt Gingrich's FREE newsletter. No cost! No obligation!!

From the leader of the Republican revolution that swept Congress in 1994 comes a brand new FREE newsletter defending the values that make our country great: Winning the Future with Newt Gingrich.

Each week, you can expect a concise newsletter from Newt Gingrich that covers election politics, national defense, education, the environment, or the economy. 

~

Looking back, not looking forward

The Wall Street Journal SHOCKINGLY tries to pin some blame for the banking crisis on the government:

Dozens of interviews, most from people who requested anonymity to avoid legal repercussions, offer an inside account of the critical juncture when Fannie Mae’s new chief executive, under pressure from Wall Street firms, Congress and company shareholders, took additional risks that pushed his company, and, in turn, a large part of the nation’s financial health, to the brink. ...

Capitol Hill bore down on [former Fannie Mae chief executive Daniel] Mudd as well. The same year he took the top position, regulators sharply increased Fannie’s affordable-housing goals. Democratic lawmakers demanded that the company buy more loans that had been made to low-income and minority homebuyers.

“When homes are doubling in price in every six years and incomes are increasing by a mere one percent per year, Fannie’s mission is of paramount importance,” Senator Jack Reed, a Rhode Island Democrat, lectured Mr. Mudd at a Congressional hearing in 2006. “In fact, Fannie and Freddie can do more, a lot more.”

Then again, what would you expect from...oh. That article actually ran in the New York Times. My bad.

hope for those who opposed a bailout bill

Bush could still stab himself in the eye trying to sign it.

Death and not being a Phocking Moron.

Here's my thing with taxes. If you want to pay lower taxes, you always have the option of making less money. If you want to make more money you have to pay higher taxes. If you want to make lots of money and pay low taxes (or no taxes) then you are a douchenozzle.

Got into a fight with another lawyer the other day who assured me that my taxes would go up with Obama. I told him I had crunched the numbers already and that he was right, my family stands to pay something between $100 and $2,500 in extra taxes per year with Obama. And we would get something like a $5,000 tax cut with McCain [Ed.: in return for our son' being drafted to die in Iran [Ed. Ed.: or live out a comfortable life with his parents in Canada]]. I told him we didn't really care about paying more if the money was put to good use, to which he called me an idiot. He suggested that I didn't care about making money and I generally agreed with him. In my best jobs, I served as a volunteer. But then I really sent him for a loop and told him we were making lots of money and are doing okay and that as long as I know my taxes ahead of time, I can adjust accordingly. Again names - of course this time he was a little reluctant - because his worldview was that people who make more were superior and I could see he was a little concerned about whether I made more than him. I told him I really only care about my net income not my gross, and he didn't know what to do with himself.

Then I got to thinking about this. I mean seriously - If I offered to give you $100, taking a $95 percent processing fee - would you turn it down? If your boss offered to pay you $1 million a year gross, and your net after taxes would rise by only $10,000 - would you turn it down? How? Now - I support Republicans and fiscal conservatives in their effort to end graft, fraud, etc. but all this crap about govt. standing in you way - ugh. How the hell is government standing in your way if you are making like $19,000 a year. That was how much I made in my first job out of college. I wasn't worried about the govt. hurting me - but I was kind of pissed at my boss.

I kind of liked Biden's answer about taxes and fairness but he can only get out half the story. I liked Sarge's take on it - if I am remembering correctly. The self made man is dead. When you make your money using government education, roads, water, power, policing, fire protection, the government is entitled to its cut. The more you make, the more you have to thank the government for not allowing your bank accounts to be electronically drained, for not allowing your mansion to go up in flames, for having police watch the roads your limo drives on and for firing/beating all the union members who threatened to put you out of business. (too far?). There is no way you would have made the money without the system you are operating within. Try making some money in a country without a government. Now there's a self made man. This is why I support a 0% tax rate on all entrepreneurs in Somalia.

Um. Okay

I like how Chris Matthews immediately pointed out that our potential new VP isn't going to answer the questions you want her to and wants to explore expanding the power of the Vice Presidency. Power hungry and anti-democratic. That's how I like my politicians.

Just for fun, I went and looked through Article II of the Constitution. I think this section makes it pretty clear that despite the acknowledgement that the VP is the president of the Senate in Article I that the VP is part of the executive branch.

U.S. Constitution. Article II, Section 4. The President, Vice President and all civil officers of the United States, shall be removed from office on impeachment for, and conviction of, treason, bribery, or other high crimes and misdemeanors. [Ed.: This includes lying about blow-jobs].

No such provision appears to exists for members of congress. I suppose I get extra credit for that.

And I can't get "Joe 6-pack" out of my head. I am so not Joe 6-pack, not even Joe Box 'O Wine. My guess is if I met Joe 6-pack he and I would think eachother assholes. Oh well.

even Charles Krauthammer is wid da tarrists

Charles Krauthammer on Barack Obama:

"...he's got both a first-class intellect and a first-class temperament. That will likely be enough to make him president."

we can haz AIM too?

(12:11:08 AM) briggs: matthews is doing a good job
(12:12:49 AM) fungster: 5 mavericks vs 4 scrantons
(12:16:04 AM) briggs: that was funny
(12:35:01 AM) fungster: who won the debate? let's ask each camp...for the talking points
(12:37:57 AM) briggs: yeah
(12:38:25 AM) fungster: energy independence?
(12:38:46 AM) briggs: how come every republican woman who comes on to talk impresses me more than sarah palin?
(12:39:43 AM) fungster: they've probably been at it longer
(12:39:54 AM) briggs: ready on day one
(12:42:14 AM) fungster: doggonit!
(12:43:00 AM) briggs: i imagine her, when he said "past is prologue", thinking "past is what? wait, i don't care, i'm mavericky." and that thought process happened in about 0.00001 seconds
(12:44:23 AM) fungster: the brain is quite fast you know
(12:44:48 AM) briggs: especially when everything is a nail
(12:46:08 AM) briggs: nothin' worse than a killed job
(12:46:27 AM) fungster: it looked like she was shaking her head when talking about her team, and nodding when talking about the other team
(12:46:34 AM) briggs: cubs are a homer, three walks and a homer away from being tied
(12:46:36 AM) fungster: either she's bulgarian or...
(12:46:39 AM) briggs: or a strike from losing

The Peter Principle, baseball style...

Brian Cashman and Omar Minaya get new contracts...

~

Cubs...er, uh, ackkkkkkk...

...what else can be said that hasn't been said for the last one hundred years?

figures...

Scandal: McCain Won Miss Congeniality Of U.S. Senate In 2000, 2003

As Twittered by Smiff on da Twitter: How McCain supports the troops (Cheney-style)

"I know the veterans, I know them well, and I know that they know that I'll take care of them, and I have been proud of their support and their recognition of my service to the veterans, and I love them, and I'll take care of them, and they know that I'll take care of them."

Pirates: Don't call it a comeback

Report: Somali pirates rake in up to $30M in 2008

if we had listened a little more carefully, we might have gotten a very early clue about how things would go...

George W. Bush's opening line at the first debate in 2000:

BUSH: Well, we do come from different places. I come from being a West Texas.

He then proceeds to talk about what he'll do with the "surplus."

BUSH: Let me just say that obviously tonight we're going to hear some phony numbers about what I think and what we ought to do. People need to know that over the next ten years it is going to be $25 trillion of revenue that comes into our treasurey and we anticipate spending $21 trillion. And my plan say why don't we pass 1.3 trillion of that back to the people who pay the bills? Surely we can afford 5% of the $25 trillion that are coming into the treasury to the hard working people that pay the bills. There is a difference of opinion. My opponent thinks the government -- the surplus is the government's money. That's not what I think. I think it's the hard-working people of America's money and I want to share some of that money with you so you have more money to build and save and dream for your families. It's a difference of opinion. It's a difference between government making decisions for you and you getting more of your money to make decisions for yourself.

I don't know about you, but that extra four treeeellllion dollars is burning a hole in my pocket. Why don't we throw a yooge phokking party for this phokking weasel to thank him for the bang-up job he did...

Don't Mess With The K-Mad

According to the Los Angeles Times, Hong-Chih Kuo "underwent a heart examination in an effort to determine why his fingers became numb and turned bright red while warming up Saturday." Kuo tested negative for blood clots earlier this week and the Dodgers continue to search for answers while he sits out the NLDS.
~

Mom not pleased wiff Uncle Cholly

Why does the stupid manager take Hamels out for the bullpen when he is
pitching a near perfect game?
Lidge did his best to lose it. How many has the bullpen lost for him
this year?
They still have 10 more games to win!

~

OH NOES: tough one tonight

The Dodgers homered three times to send the Cubs to a seventh straight playoff loss, 7-2 in Game 1...
~

Their way out?

WorldNetDaily: VP debate moderator Ifill releasing pro-Obama book

the End Times harbingers continue to roll in (cont'd)

Goose Island on Clybourn will serve "Huskie Ale" during Saturday's NIU-Tennessee game.

Happy Fiscal New Year!

It's gonna be the best fiscal year ever...

Under the plausible fiscal-policy scenarios detailed in CBO's latest "Budget and Economic Outlook," which was released earlier this month, the budget deficits for 2017 and 2018 could exceed $1 trillion each year.

Trillion-dollar deficits would be arriving just as the cash-flow surpluses from Social Security turn into cash-flow deficits, a development that would require the federal government to use general revenues to meet Social Security benefit payments.

If the projections hold true, these deficits would become the primary force that would add $10 trillion to the national debt, more than doubling it by 2018.

"Unfortunately, that's the good news," Mr. Orszag said, "because thereafter we start to experience the longer-term budget pressures that are at the heart of the long-term fiscal problems the nation faces."

Willard Scott's joke of the day

What's the difference between a pigeon and a stock broker?
A pigeon can still make a deposit on a ferrari!

Then he went on to wish McCain a happy 105th birthday and the McCain's a happy 80th wedding anniversary. Ok I made that up.

Postseason Predictions from Corms

NLDS
Cubs over Dodgers in 4
Phils over Brewers in 5

ALDS
Sox over Rays in 5
Sox over Angels in 5

NLCS
Cubs over Phils in 7

ALCS
Sox over Sox in 7

WS
Flying swine and ice hockey in hell Cubs over Sox in 5

Finally, The End Times are here...

The White Sox joined the crosstown Cubs in the postseason, the first time since 1906 that both Chicago teams are in...The 1906 White Sox, known as “The Hitless Wonders,” beat the Cubs in the World Series.

~

Fung's new favorite bar?

Sarah Palin nude painting

Ebert Brings It (cont)

Guess who's not coming to dinner

To Cub Fans

A Reminder...

Though should I do dis b4 2nite's game? Wont dat curse us somehow? Nah.

some neat designs here...

http://www.designforobama.org/

Stimulate the Economy!

Buy your (probably) made in China political crap now! Find a wonderful spot for one of these on your mantlepiece, or in a box of stuff you don't know where to put, or your storage box that you've had for 18 years. Make great gifts for those who need stuff for their fireplace or unused boxes or unused storage space. But you'll have that fuzzy feeling that lets you know that you helped America stay strong. You singlehandedly kept 4 people employed. In China. You made money move. To China. Then they'll buy our companies & our debt and we can keep spending! The circle of cash!

Call now!

McJob Backlash

Even in India...

Stressed Indians leave call centres

Smiff: The Greatest...or...THE GREATEST?

Rank Team Points Pts Change Waiver Moves
1. Lord Viper Elefantes 212.5 -0.5 10 63
2. Blue Ward Cyclones 205.5 2 3 9
3. Spackler Bents 174 2 11 27
4. Golemi Topki 170.5 0 6 19
5. Troglodyte Homunculi 170 0 8 41
6. Columbus Bureaucrats 160 -1.5 5 10
7. La Jolla Chemists 157 0 4 27
8. shot_at_bill 151 -2 9 40
9. Coach #31 132.5 -0.5 12 26
10. Mr. Baby's Fortune 122.5 2.5 1 16
11. clan of terrorists 114.5 -1.5 2 23
12. Maddogs 102 -0.5 7 31

Labels dat wouldn't fit:
and Smiff has hair
when the elephants dance it is the ground that suffers
we hatesez them
...add your own!
~

a fitting end to da Cherriez' season

AAA Infielder is up.
Travis Hafner is pinch hitting. Hafner pops out. The game is over.
Final score: Chukar Cherries 2, Dingers 4.

T. Herman Zweibel again - suddenly he's the most relevant force on da internets

THZ: I should God damned well hope that there will also be prettily-colored pictures, or else the average American citizen will not be able to keep his eye on it for more than a few heart-beats, and it would be better yet if there were accompanying photos of ample heaving bosoms.

Tribune: Why is the newspaper redesigning?

Consumers’ reading habits have evolved, so we are reinventing the Chicago Tribune based on what readers have told us about their lifestyles, how they use the newspaper and what they want from it... Also, the former Tempo features section will be renamed, Live! It will focus on entertainment and pop culture and feature reviews, TV listings, comics and puzzles, plus weather on the back page and movie content on Fridays.

What happened to the Business section?

The Business section will no longer be freestanding, except on Sunday.

Never stopped them before...they're just being consistent:

Bush Sidesteps Congress? $630 Billion To Be Pumped Into Economy Despite House Bailout Rejection

Bloomberg:
The Federal Reserve will pump an additional $630 billion into the global financial system, flooding banks with cash to alleviate the worst banking crisis since the Great Depression.

The Fed increased its existing currency swaps with foreign central banks by $330 billion to $620 billion to make more dollars available worldwide. The Term Auction Facility, the Fed’s emergency loan program, will expand by $300 billion to $450 billion. The European Central Bank, the Bank of England and the Bank of Japan are among the participating authorities.

The Fed’s expansion of liquidity, the biggest since credit markets seized up last year, came hours before the U.S. House of Representatives rejected a $700 billion bailout for the financial industry. The crisis is reverberating through the global economy, causing stocks to plunge and forcing European governments to rescue four banks over the past two days alone. Read on…

I’m not an expert on the economy or Wall St., but this sure looks like an end-around by the Bush administration to give away hundreds of billions of dollars without the approval of Congress.

the panic is spreading! no sector of our culture is safe!

Home Runs Drop to 15-Year Low

NEW YORK -- Home runs in the major leagues dropped this year to their lowest level since 1993, and Angels center fielder Torii Hunter thinks he might know why.

you knew this was coming

Democrats: 140 Aye, 95 No
Republicans: 65 Aye, 133 No

Therefore...

McCain blames Obama for bailout defeat

Of course, when it looked like it was going to pass, Grandpa was taking credit.
~

In a time of crisis, it's always reassuring...

...to look into the eyes of a chicken.

Da City Dat Killz

Da Darkies, dat is.

Chicago's toxic air

Of the Top 50 polluters in Cook County in 2005, 60 percent are where black or Latino residents outnumber whites.

Whitey's Apartment Finders web page must also have a "pollution index" that darkies can't access...

Cue plutocrat on ledge: the depression starts...

NOW.

Will someone from Camp BushCo get in the room with these amateurs and tell them how it's done before Grandpa goes unhinged and strangles someone?

The time to let on that your [P]rezzziduntial ticket is clueless is after they're electorated.

Memo to Joe Biden: Let Palin Talk

For those who worry about expectations being so low that she can't help but beat them, that she did well in Alaska debates (by being spunky and bluffing through with gimmicks like patting a "stack of solutions" on health care), consider this:

Capitol Hill sources are telling me that senior McCain people are more than concerned about Palin.

The campaign has held a mock debate and a mock press conference; both are being described as "disastrous." One senior McCain aide was quoted as saying, "What are we going to do?" The McCain people want to move this first debate to some later, undetermined date, possibly never. People on the inside are saying the Alaska Governor is "clueless."

I don't think anyone anticipated a Wall Street meltdown

News item: Cubs bidders face credit squeeze

Wall Street's meltdown threatens Tribune Co. CEO Sam Zell's plan to get top dollar for the Cubs — and he's prepared to delay the sale in response.

could be my last post - nice knowing everyone!

San Diego
currently
Thunder Storms
66°F
N 6 MPH

~

You know what this means...

We're totally phokked:

Bush confident bailout will aid U.S. economy
President Bush leads key supporters of the Wall Street bailout package in prodding lawmakers this morning to approve the plan hours ahead of a difficult House vote.

~

see also: brain-dead AGs, brain-dead Bush cabinet members, man with almost no brain lives normal life, how to avoid prosecution by being brain-dead...

From today's Justice Dept. report:

[Gonzales] claimed to us and to Congress an extraordinary lack of recollection about the entire removal process. In his most remarkable claim, he testified that he did not remember the meeting in his conference room on November 27, 2006, when the plan was finalized and he approved the removals of the U.S. Attorneys, even though this important meeting occurred only a few months prior to his testimony.

This was not a minor personnel matter that should have been hard to remember. Rather, it related to an unprecedented removal of a group of high-level Presidential appointees, which Sampson and others recognized would result in significant controversy. Nonetheless, Gonzales conceded that he exercised virtually no oversight of the project, and his claim to have very little recollection of his role in the process is extraordinary and difficult to accept.

Will, Zweibel, and K-Mad: triplets separated at birth?

George Will: A word describes most of the people who will vote only if a ballot is shoved through their mail slot: "slothful." What kind of people will not bestir themselves to exercise their franchise if doing so requires them to get off their couches and visit neighborhood polling places? People who are barely interested, and hence probably are barely informed.

T. Herman Zweibel: I am told that our new War of the White House section will contain the vetted and censored life stories of each candidate; white-washed and simplified versions of their heinous plans to drain the life and wealth of each and every tax-payer; a schedule denoting the appearances of every aspirant, so that one may go and be covered in unspeakable fulminating lies in person instead of hearing them over the crystal-set. I should God damned well hope that there will also be prettily-colored pictures, or else the average American citizen will not be able to keep his eye on it for more than a few heart-beats, and it would be better yet if there were accompanying photos of ample heaving bosoms.

Guess what? The New York Mets SUCK.

Here's a Website For Ya!

What would Jesus do?

http://www.countingprayers.org/pledges

Another black mark on McCain: he's white

Real Time with Bill Maher: New Rules - Look Beyond The Candidates’ Skin Color

On Real Time with Bill Maher’s New Rules segment, host Bill Maher exhorts viewers not to assume the worst about John McCain just because of the color of his skin.

All right, new rule: you cannot attain foreign policy experience by rubbing Henry Kissinger. He is a former Secretary of State, not Buddha.

New rule: next time we get in an enormous financial crisis, the guy we’re depending on to get us out of it can’t look like Col. Klink. Not asking for the world.

New rule: If men could admit they watch NASCAR for the crashes, women can admit they watch fashion shows to see skinny chicks fall on their ass. Ooh, that one was touchy.

New rule: food from China that isn’t Chinese food isn’t food. The latest example, tainted Chinese milk. Health experts say fake milk can cause bloating, gas, cramps, vomiting, fatigue, rashes and asthma. Oh wait, that’s real milk. People still not on the fact that milk is poison.

Okay, new rule: you can’t call it coming out of the closet when the door was wide open, the closet was made of glass and everyone can see you in there having gay sex. Clay Aiken says he came out because he didn’t want to lie to his infant son. Dude, even the baby knew you were gay. I can’t wait to see next week’s issue of People Magazine.

And finally, new rule: a candidate for President should not be judged by the color of his skin. And to…and to anyone who thinks differently, I say please do not reject John McCain just because he’s white. I think the recent news from Wall Street has made us all less tolerant and only reinforce the stereotype that white people are shiftless, thieving welfare queens.

Now, take a look at these pictures. Here are the CEOs of Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, AIG and the Lehman Brothers. I know the first thing that jumps out about these faces is that they all happen to be white, and they all happen to be responsible for stealing. But what you have to understand is that these whites are a product of a society that made them that way. It was the neighborhoods and the schools they went to: Harvard, Yale, the Wharton School of Business. They never learned the value of doing real, actual work and the first step to fixing that is better role models, so kids growing up white today don’t think the only way out of Westchester is corporate crime. Or a government handout or sailing. So I get it, the temptation is to look at McCain and vote against him because you don’t see an individual, you just see another typical welfare whitey.

And it’s true, he’s spent his entire life shuffling from one low-paying government job to another. Well, except those years he spent in prison. Typical! And between you and me, he’s not very articulate. Oh, he may have some street smarts, but he’s not what you call an educated man. He freely admits he’s ignorant about the economy. And apparently the only thing his white running mate knows how to do is crank out one baby after another. And now of course, her teenage daughter is pregnant out of wedlock. Because she learns it at home! But that doesn’t mean we should assume all white people are like that, just because so many of them are. I believe there is hope. I believe even the stupidest, greediest, laziest whites can break the cycle of dependence like this November when we finally move George Bush out of public housing.

~

a preview of the Trib's forthcoming endorsement of McBush

I almost cannot believe it is time for the suet-brained populace of this flagging Republic to be once again herded into the voting-booths to allegedly choose precisely which bloody-handed butcher will crack their bones and suck the marrow over the next few years.

LoC ripped off again

For a blog with not very many... ok, one follower (and admittedly, some of them are Brain Dead Bob), our impact on the wider culture remains YOOOGE.

Palin Gag Of The Day

Jimmy Kimmel:

"John McCain showed up without running mate Sarah Palin, which is a shame because she actually has a lot of experience with financial matters. You know, she lives right next to a bank."

Shepard Fairey (or someone like him) is a believer

They also agree on War (love them!), S#i+ Blowing Up (for), Dead Civilians (they knew da risks by living in a war zone), and honoring dead soldiers...

...by creating more...

Henry Kissinger: "Senator McCain is right. I would not recommend the next President of the United States engage in talks with Iran at the Presidential level. My views on this issue are entirely compatible with the views of my friend Senator John McCain. We do not agree on everything, but we do agree that any negotiations with Iran must be geared to reality."

~

Oh Whitey

Sorry, but you stopped being "officially" racist in the last century, following, well, who knows how long. So I think you have to wait until the year 3000, or around Futurama time, before anything you do will not be considered to be racist. Until then, you can't do stuff like Obama Waffles...

he's also the taller monkey - a lot taller

I think people really are missing the point about McCain's failure to look at Obama. McCain was afraid of Obama. It was really clear--look at how much McCain blinked in the first half hour. I study monkey behavior--low ranking monkeys don't look at high ranking monkeys. In a physical, instinctive sense, Obama owned McCain tonight and I think the instant polling reflects that.

McCain's strangest statements of the night: Alexander the Great, Ike's letters (what the phokk was that?), South Koreans are taller than North Koreans (really, has he lost his mind?)...

~

LOLcats no more?!

Northwestern (5-0) 22
Iowa (3-2) 17
Final

next stop - the Olympics

News item: Bass fishing catching on as high school sport

Note if you will the felt cultural security of this 72-year-old rich white male son of a Navy admiral

NYT's Alessandra Stanley:

[Mr. Obama] wore a dark suit and a flag lapel pin, and chose to focus on appearing steady and serious-minded and so ready to be president that he at one point sounded as if he already were: “I reserve the right as president of the United States to — to meet with anybody at a time and place of my choosing if I think it’s going to keep America safe.”

Mr. McCain felt secure enough not to wear a flag pin on his lapel, and comfortable enough to make jokes. “I’m not going to set the White House visitors’ schedule before I’m president of the United States,” he said. “I don’t even have a seal yet.”

first observations gleaned from tonight's performance

The Sox really suck.

Why does Kathleen Parker hate American women?

Palin’s recent interviews with Charles Gibson, Sean Hannity, and now Katie Couric have all revealed an attractive, earnest, confident candidate. Who Is Clearly Out Of Her League.

No one hates saying that more than I do. Like so many women, I’ve been pulling for Palin, wishing her the best, hoping she will perform brilliantly. I’ve also noticed that I watch her interviews with the held breath of an anxious parent, my finger poised over the mute button in case it gets too painful. Unfortunately, it often does. My cringe reflex is exhausted.

Palin filibusters. She repeats words, filling space with deadwood. Cut the verbiage and there’s not much content there. Here’s but one example of many from her interview with Hannity: “Well, there is a danger in allowing some obsessive partisanship to get into the issue that we’re talking about today. And that’s something that John McCain, too, his track record, proving that he can work both sides of the aisle, he can surpass the partisanship that must be surpassed to deal with an issue like this.”

When Couric pointed to polls showing that the financial crisis had boosted Obama’s numbers, Palin blustered wordily: “I’m not looking at poll numbers. What I think Americans at the end of the day are going to be able to go back and look at track records and see who’s more apt to be talking about solutions and wishing for and hoping for solutions for some opportunity to change, and who’s actually done it?”

If BS were currency, Palin could bail out Wall Street herself.

If Palin were a man, we’d all be guffawing, just as we do every time Joe Biden tickles the back of his throat with his toes. But because she’s a woman — and the first ever on a Republican presidential ticket — we are reluctant to say what is painfully true.

GFY