Monday Night Is Wine Night (cont'd)

me: did get the FISK results?
did you get
Kevin: yezzur
Sent at 8:13 PM on Monday
me: phokker
Kevin: remarkable yes... i phink so too
Sent at 8:15 PM on Monday
me: Kansas losing another big game?
SHOCKING
Kevin: seems unlikelyu
Sent at 8:22 PM on Monday
me: maybe spoke too soon
Sent at 8:24 PM on Monday
me: Yabu pitched today...
Kevin: non-catostrophically
Sent at 8:26 PM on Monday
me: He will soon be on one of your teams
how's Callix doing?
Sent at 8:29 PM on Monday
me: ovvvvertime
Kevin: callix -- you will see -- everyone will see...
Sent at 8:31 PM on Monday
me: yes, The A.J. Hinch Experience, we know...
Kevin: now you're catching on...
me: i jinxed KanASS in reverse
Sent at 8:37 PM on Monday
me: those phokkers still haven't sent the FISK results
or Big Hurt
phokkers
Kevin: by email? i got all three of mine
sucker!
me: gfy!!
i see the Monks are in 1st though
Horror with a negative run differential...
Kevin: clutch though
me: and a two game losing streak
Kevin: need i add: tied for 1st
me: with 40 other teams
CQs are punchless
and hapless
Kevin: beleaguered?
me: leagueredless
Wyverns, you ask?
Kevin: uh, yeah, why not
me: Tied for 1st
Kevin: with 40 other teams?
me: nope, just phree
Kevin: cool!
me: yeah!
Sent at 8:46 PM on Monday
me: in reversal of fortune, no hitting but lotsa pitching
AND John Bale is available...
Kevin: for a high price
me: nope, just a supp pick
Kevin: thats crazy talk
me: Bill Self didn't choke again? damn
well, tomorrow he will be introduced as the new coach at Oklahoma St.
for $8 MEEEEEllion a year
Sent at 8:51 PM on Monday
me: so the 2nd best team this year is -
Davidson
Sent at 8:53 PM on Monday
me: DICKIE V crying on ESPN... he's going into the Basketball Hall of Fame, BABY!
Kevin: what category?
Sent at 9:02 PM on Monday
Kevin: so when does anthony bourdain come to chicago and vist hot dougs? they can whine rhapsodic about the pleasures of fatty duck liver and bird torture
me: yes. why hasn't he come to Chicago?
he already did the bird torture in Quebec...
followed by the seal torture
Kevin: canucks can torture? mfa... if dat were true dey would run the world instead of us
me: well, they're not real Canadians: da French and da Eskimos
Kevin: cajun inbred seal-clubbing phokks?
Sent at 9:08 PM on Monday
me: da cajun inbreds tortured da ducks, and da eskimos shot a seal and den sliced it up and ate it raw (as in uncooked)
AB got to suck out an eyeball
Kevin: lucky phokker
me: i know - raw seal eyeball? i'd kill for dat
Kevin: if you havent picked it up, the account of that scene in The Nasty Bits is pretty phokkin phonny
me: da Nasty Bits?
Kevin: yezzur
me: uh, and what is dat?
is it on the internets?
Kevin: http://www.amazon.com/Nasty-Bits-Collected-Varietal-Usable/dp/1596913606/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1207628064&sr=1-1
everyphing is on da internets! duh!
me: oh, it's a book. how quaint
not to change the subject, but you want to trade Chris Young back to me?
Kevin: no
but if you have an offer, i'd "listen"
me: what do yas need?
Johnny Cueto?
Kevin: Smelts? Nothing! They rock
me: nuffing huh? what's this i'd listen crap den
Kevin: Oh!!!!!! Here's a shokker... Estabain Loaizer hammered tonight
me: PHOKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
U
AND PRINT IT
Sent at 9:20 PM on Monday
me: i blame you:
Derek Jeter will miss at least one game with a strained left quad, but he's not expected to land on the disabled list.
Wilson Betemit will fill in for Jeter on Tuesday and possibly for the rest of the week. The Yankees may call up Alberto Gonzalez to help out defensively if they don't think Jeter will be back within a few days.
Kevin: fair enough
for the record
i blame myself as well
me: right then
Michael Barrett: strained elbow: Chix?
dentist chair tomorrow...
i blame you
Kevin: your dentist crap is not my fault. i havent been to the dentist in like 10 years. its as simple as not picking up the phone. inertia even works in my favor on this one
barrett -- phokk him -- not my prollem -- never wuz -- never will be
Sent at 9:26 PM on Monday
Kevin: tonight: villa maria merlot cabernet
it SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sent at 9:28 PM on Monday
me: shocking
Kevin: lisa: why do they call you "bleeding gums?"
me: i gotsta BV Coastal Estates Private Cellars 2003 Cabernet Sauvignon
Kevin: bleeding gums murphy: let's put it this way... ever been to the dentist?
lisa: yeah
bleeding gums murphy: not me!
lisa: eeeeeew!
bleeding gums murphy: i probly shoud go...
there is a simpsons reference for everything
2003 -- woop-de-phokkin-dew...
me: bleeding gums mcclure - has a ring to it
ok for 9 bucks
Kevin: daing... that's what this AWFUL merlot/cab cost
but da jin jin shiraz -- same price -- always a winner
Sent at 9:34 PM on Monday
me: it's merlot - duh
Kevin: go phokk myself?
me: jin jin - never heard of it
Kevin: da jin jinz -- worf checking out -- screw-off cap!
me: aussie?
Sent at 9:40 PM on Monday
Kevin: of course
goes down like kool-aid at a hot summer cult brainwashing'
dis just in:
i love jeebus
me: well, he did like wine
Kevin: oh yeah -- lotsa drinking going on. even made wine outta nuttin after da likker stores were closed
not unlike smiff
so there was actually college basketball tonight?
meffis won?
me: did you walk on Lake Michigan? Cubs win the World Series?
dint we cover dis - Kansas won in OT
Kevin: jeebus can only do so much
was dat dis year?
seems like a year ago
it went ot? sounds mildly amusing... mebbe i shoulda watched
me: Kansas wuz down 9 points wif 2 minutes left
Kevin: oh well, you know who i HATE? like 98% of the division 1 programs inlcuding the final phokks who were in the phinal phokking phour
me: phshocking
Kevin: if it were possible for them to ALL LOSE, that would make me SO PHOKKING HAPPY
no winner this year!!! everyone sad!!! wo-hoooooo!!!!!
next year is canceled!
the year after -- looking iffy@!
and the kicker is: we're all dead!
me: er, maybe you should go to bed? uh, just askin'
Kevin: nah, feeling great
me: ok, well, da Huskies can't make a tourney run every year, or ever
Sent at 9:50 PM on Monday
Kevin: da huskies will never, ever, ever, ever field a decent basketball team again. the cubs will win the world series before the huskies finish above .500. and the world will be a fiery crispy crackly conflagration before the cubs ever win the world series (see: s#i+ burning up).
Sent at 9:51 PM on Monday
Kevin: so, meffis won?
meffis! it's almost hard to hate them. but somehow, i do
me: well, they killed Martin Luther King, for starters...
Kevin: yes. though it's hard to hold that against this year's team, but somehow, i do
me: especially when the the entire team are darkies
Kevin: Matt Cain: awful. i blame you
me: you knew da risks
sucker
Kevin: da k-mad touch -- everything turns to risk
ok, so it's like, midnight here
dat means, either i go to bed...
me: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Kevin: or, like... what a retard
me: or...more wine?
Kevin: dude i had like a bottle and a half arreddy
and its like... tomorrow
need i add:
me: you should be here - only 10
Kevin: unhinged
yeah, well... by da time i get deres, it would be later den it is now
me: but you could sleep on the plane
Kevin: but i'm a tarrist
dere -- i run rings round ya logically
me: where a hat
Kevin: andy zimmer is eating brainzzz on tv
me: who's?
Kevin: llama
me: tasty
Kevin: he's in bolivia, where, presumably, there is nothing but llama brainzz to eat
me: dey don't eat da rest of da llama?
Kevin: see also: lake titicaca
dey probly due eat da rest of da llama, but it isn't as funny as da brain-eating part whut gets on da tv
me: dats true - were they raw?
Kevin: see also: lake titicaca
i phink dey was cooked
me: you said titi and caca - FUNNY STUFF
Kevin: wait -- titicaca
get it?
me: west of chester?
Kevin: no... titicaca
dere is a lake dere an everyding
me: oh, i don't get it den
Mount Titicaca would be funnier
Sent at 10:06 PM on Monday
Kevin: just so you know:
llama tongue... a little chewy
and since its bedtime for me
since, like, it's... tomorrow
me: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz?
Kevin: and the kicker is: i'm dead
yes!
me: maybe, but you and dickie v are still hall of famers in my book
Kevin: yeah but he has been dead longer den me
i just wanna be a ptp'er baby
Sent at 10:11 PM on Monday
me: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Kevin: possibly
me: more booze? any nyquil in da house?
Sent at 10:13 PM on Monday

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