Whatta buncha boobs

Tit Thinks it's People:

Making $#!+ up: sKILLy Division

Saskatchewan Screamer? What's next, British Columbia Brawler?

America, Distilled

From a Trib story about the "Santorum surge":

Part of the Santorum surge can be accounted for by disaffected supporters of Newt Gingrich, the former speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives.

"I decided to support him three weeks ago. Before that, I was for Gingrich," said Steve Izev, 34, of Westerville, Ohio. "The more popular he got, the more I liked him."

The more popular he got, the more I liked him. Before that I liked the other guy that was getting popular. I love it. So....honest. I'm not really thinking about it, I'm just going with whoever everyone else likes, coz this Romney guy is suspect in some sort of way...

Someone who agrees with the @fungsterm

I'm a Chicagoan, and I like ketchup on my hot dog. Deal with it. | Chicago Quirk:

Why does Rolling Stone want Romney to win?

Back when he was running for president in 2008, Barack Obama insisted that medical marijuana was an issue best left to state and local governments. "I'm not going to be using Justice Department resources to try to circumvent state laws on this issue," he vowed, promising an end to the Bush administration's high-profile raids on providers of medical pot, which is legal in 16 states and the District of Columbia.

But over the past year, the Obama administration has quietly unleashed a multi­agency crackdown on medical cannabis that goes far beyond anything undertaken by George W. Bush. The feds are busting growers who operate in full compliance with state laws, vowing to seize the property of anyone who dares to even rent to legal pot dispensaries, and threatening to imprison state employees responsible for regulating medical marijuana. With more than 100 raids on pot dispensaries during his first three years, Obama is now on pace to exceed Bush's record for medical-marijuana busts. "There's no question that Obama's the worst president on medical marijuana," says Rob Kampia, executive director of the Marijuana Policy Project. "He's gone from first to worst."

Onion or Real? Area Man Has Heart Attack at Heart Attack Grill

Man Has Heart Attack While Eating At The Heart Attack Grill

"He had been eating a Triple Bypass Burger — or, a sandwich stacked with three patties of beef..."
~

Carl's Jr. Computer: Enjoy your EXTRA BIG ASS FRIES!
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Awesome new films

I thought Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter looked promising.

But I have been upstaged. Iron Sky tells the story of how a Nazi space program deposited the master race on the dark side of the moon, where they went on to live for 70 years, studying our culture, and only now returning to exploit our weaknesses. Oh - and the president is apparently Sarah Palin.

All this and the twinkie workers are apparently going on strike. The cosmic dissonance is going to tear the planet apart.

Shamelessly Recycling

I'm pretty sure I've posted this before, why else would it be on my hard drive?

"We don't need to ask who you're talking to. We know."

[T]he Obama administration...has brought more prosecutions against current or former government officials for providing classified information to the media than every previous administration combined. [...]

“The Justice Department has always taken seriously cases in which government employees and contractors entrusted with classified information are suspected of willfully disclosing such classified information to those not entitled to it,” a department official explained. “As a general matter, prosecutions of those who leaked classified information to reporters have been rare, due, in part, to the inherent challenges involved in identifying the person responsible for the illegal disclosure and in compiling the evidence necessary to prove it beyond a reasonable doubt.”

This is probably nothing to worry about (cont'ing)

Sen. Dianne Feinstein, D-Calif., noticed that to subject American citizens to arrest without warrant and to detain us without trial violates the Fourth, Fifth, and Sixth Amendments of the Constitution. Feinstein proposed to specifically exempt American citizens from the NDAA's arrest policy.

Her clarification of the NDAA passed the Senate by a vote of 98 to 1. That's as bipartisan as it gets, even in good times. In these times, passage of Feinstein's clarification was a miracle of agreement.

Yet in the NDAA's final version, as signed by President Obama, American citizens are not exempt. How did that happen? [...]

The Obama White House specifically asked that U.S. citizens be subject to arrest without warrant and detention without trial.

Congressman Falls for The Onion's Planned Parenthood 'Abortionplex' Story

Meet the next rising Republican star...

Meet John Fleming, the unfortunate Republican U.S. Representative from Louisiana who made that wonderful and all-too-common mistake of thinking that an Onion article was real and telling his Facebook followers to read it.

Who was all gung ho about Iceland again?

Iceland Is So Inbred It Needs a Website to Avoid Incest:

Huh huh, Icelandic "handball". Huh huh, huh huh...

Presidential Power. Also, Al Green Sucks.

Sales of Al Green up nearly 500% after Obama 'cover' - POLITICO.com:

Who knew that President Obama could make a 30-odd year old song shoot up the chartsagain?

Digital sales of Al Green's (hate dis guy - ed) 1972 hit "Let's Stay Together" (hate dis song - ed) are up 490 percent, since a video of the president singing a few bars at a fundraiser surfaced last week.

According to Nielsen SoundScan, the song was downloaded about 16,000 times last week — making it the best week for the song since digital sales data became available in 2003.

And that's the only Obama-Al Green (add dat to the nexus list - ed) news.

House Democrats, at a retreat in Maryland, presented President Obama with a CD of the caucus doing a rendition of the song. POLITICO's Seung Min Kim has more.

To which the Fungster says Boooooooooooo!

John Coleman hates to tell you he told you so, but John Coleman told you so (cont'd)

There's a @kmaddest and @fungsterm moment in the middle...

Canadian plutocrats, we got your dog here

DougieDog Hot Dogs says the footlong creation is "mouth-wateringly delicious" — and it'll set diners back $100.

The Dragon Dog is made with a bratwurst infused with century-old Louis the 13th cognac, which costs more than $2,000 a bottle.

Other ingredients include Kobe beef seared in olive and truffle oil, fresh lobster (NO KETCHUP! - ed.) and a secret picante sauce.
~

This is probably nothing to worry about (cont'd)

Using computer modeling and observations, researchers concluded that carbon dioxide emissions have already raised ocean acidity far beyond the range of natural variations. Meaning, that oceans have acidified more in the last 200 years, than they did in the previous 21,000 years.
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For 35 years in a row, science has been rooting for the terrorists to win ...

... or, perpetrators of most elaborate hoax ever going to ever more elaborate lengths to perpetrate hoax (cont'd)

This marks the 35th straight year that global temperatures were warmer than normal. NOAA's records for world average temperatures date back to 1880.
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Exciting developments in booze (cont'd)

We can now drink meteorite-infused wine.

Imagine a wine connoisseur swirling Cabernet Sauvignon around in his mouth, and then comparing the experience to "drinking elements from the birth of the solar system."

With those exact words, vineyard owner Ian Hutcheon is promoting Meteorito, the first wine aged with a roughly 4.5 billion-year-old meteorite believed to be from the asteroid belt between Mars and Jupiter.
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Rick Perry - Savoring the Dumbering

His campaign is probably almost over, so we must cherish these golden nuggets of inanity (new team name?) while they're still coming.

"When you have a country [Turkey] that is being ruled by what many would perceive to be Islamic terrorists, when you start seeing that type of activity against their own citizens, then yes, not only is it time for us to have a conversation about whether or not they belong to be in NATO, but it's time for the United States, when we look at their foreign aid, to go to zero with it."

— Rick Perry

This was the most jaw-dropping statement of the night.

The ruling party of Turkey is moderately Islamic, but it generally has not interfered with the country’s secular traditions. While Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton has prodded the leadership about its commitment to media freedoms, few analysts — if any — would say the Turkish leadership is made up of "Islamic terrorists." We really have no idea what Perry is talking about.

As for foreign aid, Turkey is a wealthy country that already gets virtually no foreign aid from the United States. The State Department this year made a request for about $5 million, which was earmarked for peace-keeping and security operations — not what one could consider traditional "foreign aid."
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I guess what's been killing the bees should have been obvious

If they need to find a healthier way to cope with all that bee stress, I suggest booze.

Apparently, neonicotinoids are "a group of toxic chemicals designed to paralyse insects by attacking their nervous systems." But, as it turns out, bees are insects too. Hmmph. And you spelled "paralyze" wrong.

Nicotine-based pesticides in widespread use by farmers are implicated in the mass deaths of bees, according to a new study by US scientists.

The authoritative, peer-reviewed research undermines the pesticide industry's long-repeated arguments that bees are not being harmed, and piles pressure on UK and US authorities to follow other countries by introducing bans on the chemicals.

Pesticide companies have been trying to protect their multi-billion pound businesses by lobbying internationally against bans on neonicotinoids, a group of toxic chemicals designed to paralyse insects by attacking their nervous systems.

Agricultural crops in Scotland, England and around the world are dosed with the chemicals to prevent insects from damaging them. But evidence has been mounting that they could be to blame for the "colony collapse disorder" that has been decimating bee populations.

The US has been losing one-third of its honeybee hives every year, while beekeepers in Europe say that more than one million bee colonies have been wiped out in France, Germany, Italy and the UK since 1994.

Although neonicotinoids have faced bans or restrictions in Germany, France, Italy and Slovenia, regulators in the UK and the US have so far accepted the industry's contention that the toxins were not poisoning bees.

But that view has now been seriously challenged by a new study from scientists at Purdue University in West Lafayette, Indiana. They found neonicotinoids in bees, in pollen, in soil and in dandelions, suggesting that bees could be contaminated in several different ways.

"We know that these insecticides are highly toxic to bees; we found them in each sample of dead and dying bees," said Christian Krupke, associate professor of entomology at Purdue and a co-author of the study. Bees also suffered from tremors, unco-ordinated movement and convulsions, which are all signs of insecticide poisoning...

Still one of the funniest things ever

Last time they met ... NIU vs Alabama ... Sept. 20, 2003

Crocodile Hunting

BBC News - Bungee cord snaps above crocodile-infested waters:

Those Aussies...

White people ... we got problems ...

'SNL' On White People Problems With Charles Barkley (VIDEO)
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latticeofcoincidence.brawndo? #BRAWNDO

News item: A U.S. Commerce Department official is warning of possible "unintended and unforeseen consequences" of domain name expansion, The National Law Journal reports. The Internet Corp. for Assigned Names and Numbers approved the upcoming expansion. The group will accept applications for registration of almost any word in any language as a generic top-level domain name, such as dot-computer or dot-furniture.

Could be dot-smiff's time to shine.
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Ozzie / Big Z nexus?

News item: Marlins close to landing Zambrano from Cubs
~

Could only happen to a white guy...

US border crossed by man using iPad as ID:

I will be scanning my passport into my iPad immediately!

What better way to celebrate the birth of Jesus than with a shiny new Ruger 9mm?

News item: Americans buy record numbers of guns for Christmas

Americans bought record numbers of guns last month amid an apparent surge in popularity for weapons as Christmas presents.
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Meet the King ... the Prairie King

Best comment: "Can you eat them??"



Welcome to Boomer Country!
~

Beleaguered | be·lea·guered (bē-lē-gərd)

DePaul (6-3) at Northern Illinois (0-8) (ET)

"Northern Illinois's season has been a struggle thus far as it is currently 0-8 after some tough losses. The Huskies' low point came as it lost to Nebraska- Omaha, a non Division I opponent. Coach Mark Montgomery's team has struggled offensively as it is averaging just 54 points per game on 35.5 percent shooting from the field. The Huskies have allowed their opponents to average 72.3 points per game on 43.8 percent shooting from the floor."
~

"'Fighting Is What Redneck People Do," Explained Drunk Guy Who Shot Lawnmower..."

The article doesn't explain what his lawnmower did to piss him off.

Just in time for Christmas!

Though it's a bit humiliating that the Brits beat us to this...

"The urinal-based video game system uses infrared sensors to enable users to steer down a ski slope while knocking over penguins or perform other simple actions by aiming their urine to the left, right, or center."
~

"If Carnival and Las Vegas had a baby, this would be the placenta"

"The Marlins are planning a structure beyond the center-field wall of their new ballpark. This structure will light up and make a fancy hullabaloo whenever a Marlin hits a home run. And remember, they have Mike Stanton, so they could be firing up this thing quite a bit.

"Now close your eyes, and think about what this structure might look like. Go ahead. Let your imagination run wild...

"Behold. This is what will happen when the Marlins hit a home run. It's what Bernie Brewer thinks he's sliding down after a couple buttons of peyote. Don't avert your eyes. Look at it. Study it. This is what we've become."
~

Think your airline sucks?

BBC News - Comtel Air probe after passengers 'told to buy fuel':

"An airline is set to investigate reports that it asked passengers to pay £20,000 towards the cost of fuel to complete their journey to the UK."

An airline - investigating itself? Good luck wid dat!

This is why we fail.

Love this article. But even better are the comments.

How can you not love this. Comment 1.10

ARTICLE:

When Danford planted watermelons last year, he estimates he paid a trucking company close to $10 million to transport them.

COMMENTER:

10 million? Is that a misprint? If he can spend that much on transportation, then he can pay more than $10 an hour.

ARTICLE:

But what if he paid a higher hourly wage? The going rate now is $10 an hour. "The [pickle] company wouldn't buy it from you then," [the farmer] says. They'd turn to suppliers in other states where labor is cheaper -- states that allow undocumented immigrants to continue working under the radar.

COMMENTER:

Could someone please explain to me how this works? Why would the pickle company care how much you pay your workers? I guess I am ignorant in the ways of farming.

That comment is precious to me. You had me at ... . Oh well, nevermind.

Another commenter pointed out that the farmer had essentially admitted to hiring illegal laborers and should be jailed. The big tent of the right. Small government, big jails.

When Cupcakes Attack (cont'd)

Carthage College wins its tuneup for its big season-opener against Martin Luther (who throws a mean two-handed set shot).

Carthage College 74, Northern Illinois 70
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There are almost as many suckers who read this blog as contributors!

We're like, awesome.

Please delight in this curious trifle, to-day

When saying something flamboyantly brain-dead, it's best to USE ALL CAPS BECAUSE YOU NEED BE MORE CLEAR

More infuriating elevator bullcrap

Alright, so its probably meant only to provoke, but the elevator flashes up today's crap. Most Americans believe that women should be legally required to change their last names to their husband's last name at marriage. I guess the study is from a couple years ago, but ugh.

I'm guessing if you polled a certain subsection of this wonderful land, you would find a group who is in favor of cutting viable male babies out of the wombs of their pregnant mothers and wood chipping the women.

Let's just go back to this:

"If a man happens to meet a virgin woman who is not engaged to be married, and he seizes her and rapes her, but is caught in the act, the rapist must pay the girl's father fifty silver shekels. She must marry the rapist, because he has violated her. And so long as he lives he may not divorce her."

Zombie Nation

President most Americans want back to handle our economic crisis ... Reagan.

Observed in the elevator this morning. Charities that Americans would most want to volunteer their time for ... No. 1 Animal charities at 17%; No. 2 poor and needy 15%.

I can't help thinking Orwell would be proud.

Love this title

Cougar spotted roaming central Wisconsin

I'm not going to read the article and just going to assume that some rich middle aged lady is cruising around Eau Claire looking for some cheese fed hunks...

SIMPSONS DID IT!

Mmmm, three eyes, aaaaaaaaarghhhhhhh

Fishermen in Córdoba, Argentina caught a three-eyed wolf fish in a reservoir fed by a local nuclear power plant, which will surely hinder the plant's owner's attempt to run for local office.

The fishermen say their discovery, which actually bears no resemblance to Blinky the three-eyed fish from The Simpsons, has begun to worry local residents who live near the reactor. And instead of feasting on their catch, and presumably gaining superpowers from its probable high levels of radiation, the men have decided to let it be tested to see if the mutation was actually a result of it being exposed to the water from the nuclear plant. After that they plan to have it embalmed for posterity, or sell it to Fox as a promotional item for their long running, and eerily prophetic, animated series. [Infobae via Geekologie]

This is probably nothing to worry about (cont'd) ... wait ... what's that about coffee?

Tendentious lefty diatribe on global warming/food scarcity nexus, and even more ominously, global warming/coffee scarcity nexus
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Where Cain got 9-9-9 from

He just turned 666 over...

Job Creator Brainstorming, or, Onion or Real (cont'd)?, or, The Dumbshine State (cont'd)

"I'm on a quest to seek and destroy unnecessary burdens on the freedom and liberties of people," Workman said. "This is an example of Big Brother government.

"All that it does is prevent some dwarfs from getting jobs they would be happy to get," Workman said. "In this economy, or any economy, why would we want to prevent people from getting gainful employment?"
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Sox fans, get used to more of this

Which of these was heard on Fox News and which appeared in a reputable news source (the Onion)?

Layoffs Are Necessary If We Want To Keep The Lights On,' Says CEO Halfway Through Tasting Menu

[Plutocrat] Complains Boston Protesters Got "Between Me And A Steak Dinner."

Of course, the Onion is a satirical newspaper, but then Fox News is a satirical television network, so this could be splitting hairs.
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On the agenda for next week: putting Brawndo on the crops

Pinellas County Commission votes to stop putting fluoride in water supply

"Fluoride is a toxic substance," said tea party activist Tony Caso of Palm Harbor. "This is all part of an agenda that's being pushed forth by the so-called globalists in our government and the world government to keep the people stupid so they don't realize what's going on."

He added: "This is the U.S. of A, not the Soviet Socialist Republic."

He Gone!

You know who I mean. Don't even need to link to anything. I tell you what.

He'll be grabbing some bench elsewhere. Who'll be grabbing some Sox bench? I think it's time to bring Jerry Manuel back - the complete opposite of Ozzie. But sigh, you know the Sox will grab some inexperienced guy to become a first time manager - haven't they done that the last 8 times?

Life won't be as entertaining without him. You can put that on the board.

Skilly Sez®

Yesterday: rain. Today: rain. Tomorrow: rain. Wednesday: rain. Thursday: rain.

There is probably an interesting story behind that

News item: Dodgers Dress Mexican Pitcher As Taco
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Making $#!+ up: Fox Sports Division

Get a brain MORAN!

Literally Unbelievable » "this Moran":

This is your intestine on drugs...

Irishman caught with 72 cocaine capsules in Brazil:

Onion, or ya gotta be phokking kidding me?

Pat Robertson Says Alzheimer's Is Grounds for Divorce:

Bacon: An Ongoing Celebration (Cont'd)

Twenty contestants, 300 pounds of bacon, one day: This is the Bacon Takedown, returning to Chicago for a second year this September. When asked what was the most creative item on the last Takedown’s menu, creator Matt Timms replies “bacon taffy” with little hesitation, but can’t choose a favorite dish.
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The terrists have won (cont)

Cookies strike fear on flight - chicagotribune.com:

Rick Perry gets a message from God

Onion, or real, or painfully unaware of the difference, or just pretending to be painfully unaware of the difference?

It's so hard to tell anymore...
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Back to my youth...

Sid Meier's Civilisation • reghardware:

Classic game, wasted a good chunk of college on it. Civ II - even more awesomer. Civ III - never finished. Civ IV - never finished. Civ V - now we're talking again!

How to market baseball in Texas

Kids! Get a Rangers football Sunday night!

First World Problems (cont)

BBC News - Dog thefts on increase in US:

Except we don't walk anywhere, so...

BBC News - Mobile phones could soon be 'powered by walking':

Nice idea, but won't work for us drive everywhere fat blips...

Chinese birds (commies?) duped by liberal Main Stream Media into flying for cold climates

And what has the streak-throated fulvetta (sounds dirty) ever done for us anyway?
~

Which of these idiots looks more prezzzdential?

For my money, it's Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho.

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~

Now even plants and animals have joined in on YOOOOGE global warming FRAUD...

... or, perpetrators of most elaborate hoax ever going to ever more elaborate lengths (like moving plants and animals) to perpetrate hoax (cont'd)

From the current issue of Science and Shit:

"On average, the team finds, creatures move both up mountains and farther away from the equator at a speed that keeps pace with the rate of climate change and at a pace that is far faster than previously predicted."

That's it, run away, Chicken Littles... ya gonna cry now?

Ah, the memories...

http://latticeofcoincidence.blogspot.com/search/label/likes PIZZA
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Prerequisite for Republican nomination: convince the base you're as dumb as they are

The GOP candidates have no time for your "science," scientists


"Here we are in 2011, and we are still daily relitigating the Scopes Monkey Trial..."
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BREAKING: Hendry: 'We didn't win enough'

BREAKING: Cubs fire GM Jim "Anchovies" Hendry after 9 sad, beautiful years

Could be good for the Cubs, but bad for this blog, and for scrappy, middle-aged ballplayers everywhere. In tribute, I'm cramming in one last round of Hendry tags.

WTF is wrong with us?

Sarge at the Apple Store?

Why Does This Guy Have an Assault Rifle at the Apple Store?

I thought you were supposed to blend in...

Unclear on multiple concepts

Woman burned while smoking and using oxygen - chicagotribune.com

Pork Soda

It's like drinkin' a pig!
~

Coach Dikka loves him some Sarah Palin

‘Ultra-ultra-ultra-conservative’ Coach Dikka praises Palin in profanity laced speech

"A self-described 'ultra-ultra-ultra-conservative,' back in 2004 Dikka! actually considered mounting a U.S. Senate run against Barack Obama, who went on to win the 2008 presidential election."

You mean he could have prevented all this? But he was too yeller?? And dat's Da Coach? My PHOKKING ASS!!

http://youtu.be/2kXX0xxuF3A
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We suck (cont)

Barring a SHOCKING development, this should be the 95th post of the year. We did 98 in a WEEK once. Lots of baseball and lolcats. Also spider pig.

Is K-Mad EVER going to update the label count? Does Brain Dead Bob still exist? Anybody?

[insert own joke here]

Bobby Jenks (back) is undergoing a colonoscopy Monday.

You know, just in case you were curious. Jenks was just beginning to make progress in his rehab from a back injury, so this will obviously set him back a few days. The veteran right-hander has been limited to just 19 appearances with Boston this season. (And in those 19 appearances he HAS SUCKED.--ed.)

~

Colbert on Adam Dunn and Craig Counsell: "The human body just does not naturally suck this hard"

Colbert Report: Sport Report - Baseball's Lowest Records, Gambling on Players & Stephen Controls MLB's Twitter Feed
~

Now we can get back to the really important debates

Should hot dogs be served with ketchup?

Heck yes! (2044 responses) 43%
Hell no! (2690 responses) 57%
4734 total responses
(Results not scientific, but idiotic)

"Sure, it would be disgusting and perverted, and they would be shaming themselves and their loved ones. But under our system of government, it is their right to be barbarians."
-- Mike Royko

"Children love the delightful red stuff on their dogs."
~

more brains, less pizza

Cubs Really Hendried It This Time

by Jason Brannon • Aug 1, 2011 5:17 PM EDT

Jim "Moral Hazard" Hendry wants you to know he won't just give players away, no matter what all these straw men want him to do:

Hendry said before the weekend started that he was not going to make a deal just to make a deal and that he was not going to give players away.

I'm so sick of all these jerks who want Hendry to give players away for nothing. Thanks for not listening to nobody's terrible advice, Jim!

~

Brain Dead Bob outed?

I see @branededbob was hacked and has been sending out spam. Hmmm, the same week Corm's gmail account was hacked... coincidink?

hey everyone you've got to check out this article! I made $420 today so far...

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The ultimate Republican win-win - destroy Obama AND America

They wouldn't take a deal that would have cut the accumulation of debt by anywhere from 2.7 to 4 trillion, so instead we get this. If they hate taxes so much, why do they want us all to pay higher interest on everything?

Obama could win and lose at the same time, striking a deal to avoid default but failing to pass muster on the substance of that deal with credit agencies, which could go ahead and downgrade the rating anyway.
~

Just how bad are the Cubs?

The Mariners have lost 17 games in a row and still have a better record than they do.

~

Kill Kenny takes a dump and slides through it

Not to mention Adam Dunn... And the cost for renting Edwin Jackson? Daniel Hudson.

Mark Gonzalez of the Chicago Tribune reports that the Blue Jays will send right-hander Zach Stewart to the White Sox along with Jason Frasor in the trade for Edwin Jackson and Mark Teahen (who is AWFUL).
This deal is essentially a salary dump for the White Sox, but Stewart certainly has value. The 24-year-old right-hander made his major league debut last month and has a 4.20 ERA and 74/24 K/BB ratio over 16 starts with Double-A New Hampshire this season. He could be a potential set-up man or closer if he doesn't make it as a starter.

The White Sox have benched struggling center fielder Alex Rios.
The White Sox have finally run out of patience with Rios, who is batting just .208/.255/.300 with six homers and a .555 OPS over 384 plate appearances this season. Alejandro De Aza was called up from the minors on Wednesday and will start in center field for the interim. It's in Chicago's best interest for Rios to figure things out, though, as he is still owed $12 million next season, $12.5 million in 2013 and 2014 and $13.5 million or a $1 million buyout in 2015. (DOH!)

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Can Republicans read newspapers?, Or, I don't think anybody expected that Tea Partiers could do something catastrophically stupid

Crain's: How a federal default would hit Chicago and Illinois

A downgrade of the federal government's AAA credit rating "would likely lead ratings agencies to downgrade every state," an Illinois Office of Management and Budget spokeswoman said in a statement. "This action would add hundreds of millions of dollars in interest costs to bonds we sell in the future. Money we desperately need in our state to educate our students, ensure public safety and protect our seniors would now be used to pay interest costs..."

If there is some kind of default next week, the market reaction would no doubt be furious: Credit markets might quickly grind to a halt, much as they did after the bankruptcy of Lehman Bros. plunged the world into financial crisis three years ago, at least until Congress and the White House finally come to terms...

Bottom line, the market's behavior indicates that investors just don't believe Washington is stupid enough to let the government default and plunge the economy into full-tilt recession. At worst, they assume that an actual default would spur action without further delay.

The economic damage and political fallout "would be too much for even the Tea partiers to let that go on for too long," said Justin Hoogendoorn, fixed-income strategist in the Chicago office of BMO Capital Markets, a Bank of Montreal unit. "I don't think anybody in the bond market expects that to happen." (Based on what, exactly? - Ed.)
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Onion or real (cont)?

"How do I insert a CD to the iPad 2?"

There's gotta be a site for ______ (cont)

Damn You Auto Correct! - Funny iPhone Fails and Autocorrect Horror Stories

That's great. Now how about getting his eyes checked.

Adam Dunn has been receiving treatment on one of his knees.

Dunn is not in Chicago's starting lineup on Wednesday for a second straight game. He's expected to be fine by this weekend's three-game series against the Indians.

~

The real f'n Chicago Cubs are back!

I was getting a little worried along about the 7th inning last night when suddenly the Cubs appeared...

CHICAGO -- Vance Worley dominated over eight innings, Jimmy Rollins homered from both sides of the plate and the Philadelphia Phillies pounded Ryan Dempster and the Chicago Cubs 9-1 on a scorching Wednesday at Wrigley Field...

But finally some good news...

Alfonso Soriano remained ice-cold Wednesday, going 0-for-3 against the Phillies.

Soriano has opened the second half 1-for-21, and his average has dropped from .270 on June 30 to .249 now. On the plus side, he's only signed through 2014.

~

Republicans and the thinking problem

Eight in 10 Republicans in a new Washington Post-ABC News poll say a default would cause serious harm to the economy, but just 30 percent say it’s essential to raise the limit in a contemporaneous Pew Research Center poll. And 47 percent of Republicans in a new NBC/WSJ poll say that not raising the debt limit would be a "real and serious problem."

Epic Photo

From a BBC story on - well, I'll let you guess...

Ozzie Guillen would like a lineup of 100 of these players...

...including himself!

The 100 Worst Baseball Players Of All Time: A Celebration

~

Still true, 4 years later...

Watching a South Park from 2007. Stan & Kyle meet Jay Cutler, then the Broncos QB, at a party. Stan says to him "Well, you kinda suck, but my Dad says you might be great one day!" We're still waiting...

Lies, damn lies, and statistics (cont)

Realty trade group overreported Chicago home prices - chicagotribune.com

This sack of shit makes $19 million a year???!!!

“There isn’t a player that I’m more proud of in the last 15 years than Derek Jeter. He has played the game like it should be played,” Bud Selig said. “He’s even been a better human being off the field, as great as he is on the field. So any concerns I keep hearing about Derek Jeter isn’t here. I respect that. And I must tell you, I think I’d have made the same decision that Derek Jeter did. So any suggestion to the contrary, Derek Jeter has brought to this sport great pride. He’s become a role model, earned it and is still earning it.”

But YOU said the All Star Game counts, it matters! But no one wants to play in the thing. Which...YOU seem cool with! ANOTHER YEAR OF THIS INCOMPETENCE? FUCK! Jesus H. Christ, George W. Fucking Bush would be a better commissioner! YOU SUCK!!

Should the @Fungsterm Geek out and get this?

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Loyal to a fault

He doesn't want to be traded to a contender, he doesn't want to play in the All-Star game...he's just all about the floundering Cubs. They need to get more players like this.

Aramis Ramirez turned down an opportunity to be an All-Star.
NL manager Bruce Bochy asked Ramirez to be the replacement for the injured Placido Polanco. Ramirez will instead fly from Pittsburgh to the Dominican Republic to spend the break. He is batting .300 with 15 homers and 51 RBI this season.

BREAKING: THIS IS WHY A-RAM DOESN'T WANT TO BE TRADED: MUST HAVE A BRAIN.

Carlos Beltran said accepting a trade to the Red Sox would be a "no-brainer."
Beltran will be a free agent after this season upon completion of his seven-year, $119 million deal with the Mets. Beltran has a full no-trade clause and was asked if he would waive it to join Boston. "They're in first place," he said. "That's a no-brainer."

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Animals phokking with hyooomans big time

Animals harbour a deadly time bomb

Human affection for animals - wild and domestic - has a darker side. It is estimated that 75 per cent of emerging infectious diseases in people - many of them fatal - originate in animals.