Lattice of Coincidence

Monday, March 23, 2009

Obama, Ozzie Agree: Go Full Retard

Ozzie Guillen’s muses include advising Obama

GLENDALE, Ariz. – President Barack Obama’s apology for his Special Olympics crack to Jay Leno while lampooning his bowling skills may not be enough to satisfy Gov. Sarah Palin, who ripped Obama for a “degrading remark.” But the president might be heartened to hear that a fellow Chicago South Sider, one who knows something about political incorrectness, has his back.

“I thought it was funny,” said Ozzie Guillen, the never-lost-for-something-to-say manager of the Chicago White Sox. “People take it out of context. The [expletive*] people in this country think you have to worry about what you’re saying, what you’re thinking. … I love when I see Obama’s picture in the paper with a beer in his hands. It’s awesome. He’s a human being. He’s a guy who enjoys life.”...

[fucking?--ed.]
~

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Question submitted

6 y.o.: Hercules is strong.

me: yeah.

6 y.o.: Is anyone stronger than Hercules?

me: well his father is Zeus, and Zeus is stronger.

6 y.o.: who is the strongest god?

me: hard to say.

6 y.o.: who do most people say is strongest?

me: most people don't talk about stong gods anymore. People around here mostly worship the god of the bible and his son Jesus.

6 y.o: do you think Jesus could kill god?

Friday, March 20, 2009

I think Rush tried to warn us about this specifically

News item: WASHINGTON — On Friday, Michelle Obama will begin digging up a patch of White House lawn to plant a vegetable garden, the first since Eleanor Roosevelt’s victory garden in World War II. There will be no beets (the president doesn’t like them) but arugula will make the cut.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Only in America

Priceless

Hooray "New" Capitalism.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Takin' ovah

Even Manny's on board

Breaking News

I'm sure you will all be shocked by the next string of words, wondering to yourself, "How could this possibly be true?"

France set for nationwide strike

You know it's coming next: sports bar on the field

If it wasn't packed enough around the stadium already...

New sports bar at Wrigley

The bar is going to be raised for taverns in Wrigleyville when a new restaurant run by Harry Caray's will be opened to the public at the start of the season.
There will be plenty of monitors in the sports bar, but you won't be able to see the field.
It will be located along the Addison-Sheffield area where the Caray statue is located.
The restaurant will be open year-round and seat 490 patrons.
~

Where in the world is this facility?

Receptionists with no medical training were left to to assess patients arriving at the hospital's accident and emergency department, the report found.

Julie Bailey, whose 86-year-old mother Bella died in the hospital in November 2007, said she and other family members slept in a chair at her bedside for eight weeks because they were so concerned about poor care.

"What we saw in those eight weeks will haunt us for the rest of our lives," said the 47-year-old. "We saw patients drinking out of flower vases they were so thirsty.

"There were patients wandering around the hospital and patients fighting. It was continuous through the night. Patients were screaming out in pain because you just could not get pain relief."

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

a vision of heaven, from an actual saint

"I would like a great lake of beer for the King of Kings; I would like the people of heaven to be drinking it through time eternal."
-- St. Brigid of Ireland

why you foul when you're up 3 with :05 left

NIT 1st Round
George Mason (22-11) 73
at Penn State (23-11) 77
Final - Overtime

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Stephen F. Who?

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Yep, He's a Blue Ward Cyclone! He is also a Crab Queen!

Just in case you were wonderin' how Stephen Strasburg's been doing lately (is he the next Mark Prior? Is he the next Tom Seaver? Is he the next what was that A's pitching prospect from around 1990? - or is he just the best goddamn pitcher ever?):

THE STRASBURG WATCH

Keeping track of SDSU All-America pitcher Stephen Strasburg this season:

Yesterday: Vs. UNLV at Tony Gwynn Stadium

His line: 7 innings, 6 hits, 2 runs, 2 earned runs, 1 walk, 14 strikeouts.

Result: Aztecs win 4-3

For the season: 4-0 record, 1.97 ERA, 27 1/3 innings, 19 hits, 7 runs, 6 earned runs, 5 walks, 59 strikeouts

Next start: Thursday, March 19, at Tony Gwynn Stadium, vs. BYU at 6 p.m.

Friday, March 13, 2009

our creed

We should have had our own contest

News item: Chicago 2016 picks new Olympics bid motto

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Yeah, but have these smarty-pants talked to John Coleman?

Sea Level Rise Hard To Fathom Ice Sheet Melt Changes Earlier

Researchers say sea level rise could be even higher than official estimates two years ago. A UC-San Diego scientist says the previous estimates did not anticipate the pace of ice melt. KPBS Environemnt Reporter Ed Joyce has more. In 2007 the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change forecast a rise in seal level of about two feet by 2100. But scientists at a climate change meeting in Denmark this week presented evidence that Greenland and Antarctica are losing ice faster than previously expected. Predictions now say sea level could rise four feet or more by the end of the century. Scripps Institution of Oceanography climate researcher Dan Cayan says the earlier prediction was conservative. "Of course there's huge stockpiles of fresh water in Antarctica and Greenland, Cayan says. " We don't truly understand how the oceans are going to respond to climate warming and ice sheet melting." Cayan says there's a lot of uncertainty in estimating how much sea level will rise.

Even more bullcrap:
Related Stories
New Climate Change Report For San Diego
Climate Change Could Whack State's Economy
Climate Change Risks For California
Is San Diego Ready For Rising Sea Levels
State Needs Strategic Plan For Climate Change
Termite Killer Contributes To Global Warming
Dry Times in the Golden State
~

How soon before the Colonel wishes he was back at the bottom of the river?

Can Japanese Colonel Sanders Statue End The Cubs' Curse?

Let's think about that a minute... NO.

Hello N.I.T.

Minnesota 66, Northwestern 53

~

I don't phink so

Sears Tower will become Willis Tower.

The insurance broker announced Thursday morning that it will move to the Sears Tower and that the building will be renamed Willis Tower.

Nice try though. They'd have better luck renaming the Chicago hot-dog as "Willis Weiners."

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Cubs & Sox United: Their Fans Can SUCK IT

Sox, Cubs not cutting prices
Local teams won't join others in lowering concession costs
~

You Guys Are Great

Famous Mayors to Discuss How to Keep Cities Great

Chicago Mayor Richard Daley and former Mayor of Bogotá Enrique Peñalosa will lead a discussion on “The Upside of Down: How to Keep Our Cities Great” at 7:30 am March 20 at the Forum Auditorium on the Scripps Institution of Oceanography campus of the University of California, San Diego....

7freaking30 - in the morning?! Unlikely Smiff will be there...
~

It's not enough to ban bestiality - we must ban inter-species marriage as well

The act of bestiality is a step closer to becoming illegal in Florida now that a Senate committee voted to slap a third-degree felony charge on anyone who has sex with animals.

Florida is one of only 16 states that still permit bestiality -– a fact that animal-rights activist and Sunrise Sen. Nan Rich learned to her horror when a Panhandle man three years ago was suspected of accidentally asphyxiating a family goat with which he was copulating.
. . .

Rich's proposal was amended to target only those who derived or helped others derive "sexual gratification" from an animal. The amendment specified that conventional dog-judging contests and animal-husbandry practices are permissible.

That last provision tripped up Miami Democratic Sen. Larcenia Bullard.

"People are taking these animals as their husbands? What’s husbandry?" she asked. Some senators stifled their laughter as Chairman Charlie Dean explained that husbandry was the rearing and caring of animals.

Bullard didn't get it.

"So that maybe have been the reason the lady was so upset about that monkey?" Bullard asked, referring to a Connecticut case where a woman’s suburban chimpanzee want mad and was shot...

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Cricket - it rocks

The English just got done with a test match series on those islands to the south of us that we sometimes go to during spring break to smoke some ganja. 4 test matches, that's 20 days of exciting cricket action. Well, more like 19, because the 1st test ended on the fourth day. And what was the score after 4 matches & 19 days of thrilling cricket?

West Indies 1, England 0.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Polar Bear Special for K-Mad

Still Think Polar Bears Are Cute?

~

capturing da pulse of da city (cont'd)

Today's most viewed stories:

Washington Post: Obama Aims to Shield Science From Politics
Chicago Tribune: Found: The source of ... belly-button lint

You think you're having a shitty day? NOPE.

Man Rescued from Latrine
An unidentified man was rescued from a waste tank under a rest stop bathroom on Highway 30 near Filer, Idaho on Thursday. He had climbed into the tank to look for his keys. Another driver found him and called emergency services. Police, firefighters, paramedics, and other emergency response personnel responded, and found the man up to his neck in sewage. They summoned highway maintenance department workers, who retrieved the man by opening an access port used to remove waste. Pictured is Filer Police Chief Cliff Johnson, who told the story to local news.
“It took some lifting to get him out, and he had cut himself pretty good trying to get himself out,” Johnson said.
The man was allowed to wash off with the fire truck hose at the scene, where he made another painful discovery.
“That’s when he discovered the keys were still in his back pocket,” Johnson said.

Pot calling kettle black (cont)

There was a commercial, on the TV. Had these two kids playing with toys. One was playing delays on the tarmac at the airport, the other gridlock on the highway. That part was actually funny. A third kid playing with his train set had no such problems. So switch to Amtrak. They never have delays.

Smiff, Ripening

Well, that happens every day, but we only count it on one day of the year.

Any advice for us tricenarian whippersnappers?

Saturday, March 7, 2009

How does Illinois do it?

Illinois plutocrats are frakkin’ goofy

The government of Illinois, an an obvious attempt to distract America from Blagojevich’s hair, has declared that Pluto is a planet.

Friday, March 6, 2009

eventually, at some point in the next, oh, five and a half years, they're going to have to pick one of these guys and let him run for re-election

Franken Has Good Day, Potentially Netting Over 30 Votes

Even Republicans are saying, "He's #UCK!NG N@TS!"

Republicans Look for a Reliever in Kentucky

WASHINGTON — One of the entrenched narratives in American politics is the case of the guy who refuses to quit, even though a lot of people on his own team want him gone.

While the Democrats are preoccupied with Senator Roland W. Burris and his ties to a tainted Illinois governor, the Republicans are trying to rid themselves of Senator Jim Bunning of Kentucky, the former baseball star who clearly has little use for some colleagues and party leaders, and who keeps exhibiting what one senator calls “behavior issues.”

Key Republicans are gently (or not gently enough) trying to dissuade Mr. Bunning from seeking re-election in 2010 out of concern that his paltry fund-raising, declining approval ratings and irascible conduct have made him something between vulnerable and unelectable.

But in recent weeks, Mr. Bunning has shown no sign of stepping aside and delivered a string of incendiary pronouncements that have fed an impression that he is, to go with a baseball metaphor, a bit of a screwball."....

He's right about one thing:

“I don’t believe anything John Cornyn says,” Mr. Bunning fired back.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

News item: D.C. bus driver punches out McGruff

WASHINGTON — A bus driver thought it would be funny to take the bite out of McGruff the crime dog by punching the mascot, but police said children who witnessed the stunt were horrified.

Will Alzheimer's sufferer "No Title" Nellie remember where the Warriors are playing tonight? Or if they are playing at all??

Corey Maggette was a surprise play off the Warriors' bench on Tuesday after Don Nelson changed his mind just before game time and decided to play him. Maggette had 16 points and seven rebounds, but also committed six turnovers and didn't have an assist tonight. If he was in your lineup, you have to be pleased that Nellie had a change of heart, and early word out of Oakland is that Maggette should play again on Wednesday.

Or not. Who the phokk knows with this phokking idiot of a coach. Operation shutdown, not playing a veteran every game. Shouldn't the NBA put a stop to this? Used to be they would scorn on tanking with 2 weeks of the season left. How about 2 months? And how bad must Minnesota be to get blowd out by Golden State?

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Chicago catches the ice hockey fever (or maybe it's the bird flu)

Whose jersey do you see most around the city of Chicago?
: Patrick Kane
: Jonathan Toews
: Patrick Sharp
: Brian Campbell
: Player from the past
: What in the name of sweet Jesus are you talking about?

Pole Tax (geddit? huh huh)

Should Illinois have a porn tax?

Cash-strapped states have begun considering taxing more vices. Is it a good idea? Vote

I object

I eat my hot dogs how I want them - with Ketchup and nuttin else. No relish. No onions. No tomatoes. No peppers. None of that udder gunk. Just meat, bun, ketchup. Simple. Yummy. Wanna put lotsa gunk on something? Eat a burger. Leave my hot dog alone.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Fripp Obama

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Cheerful News for the Day or "How do you feel El Paso?"

Becoming more and more interested by what's going on in Mexico, specifically Juarez. Should we change our drug laws to help Mexico not fall completely apart?

Just think, a lot of the problems actually do stem from simple marijuana...odd.

Fun times hard to find in Mexico

ways the government might run the banks worse than the banks did

Tyler Cowen offers a few in the process of writing his New York Times column for today.

Bulls crappy play driving President to drink bad beer

Friday, February 27, 2009

Chix report to spring training

How much do you want to go?

Ryanair mulls charge for toilets

'Sconsin Dreamin'

According to Fox News Chicago on da TV - top 5 places to find a job:

#5: Milwaukee

#1: Madison

So you too can be a part of the problem of bacteria on Chicago's beaches.

Typical Political Bull$#!+

Conn. pols want UConn's Calhoun reprimanded

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Urban legend grows

Motorist draws gunfire after flipping the finger

Iraq War Milestone

Check out our cost ticker over deres...---->

more stuff only a commie could love

It's a pretty short trip from collective transportation to collective farming.

Chicago's high-speed rail dream is arriving

Besides, I find our 19th-century rail infrastructure quaint.

I'll take two cups (get it? ha, ha...)

Topless coffee shop opens in central Maine

VASSALBORO, Maine—A topless coffee shop that raised the ire of many residents of a small central Maine town is open for business.
The Grand View Topless Coffee Shop, located at the site of the former Grand View Motel, opened its doors Monday on busy Route 3 in Vassalboro. A sign outside says, "Over 18 only." Another says, "No cameras, no touching, cash only."
On Tuesday, two men sipped coffee at a booth while three topless waitresses and a bare-chested waiter stood nearby. Topless waitress Susie Wiley said men, women and couples have stopped by.
Dozens of residents objected to the shop when the Vassalboro planning board meeting took up the matter last month. But town officials said the coffee shop met the letter of the law.
~

And his father said unto him...BLAM!

Police: Man stabs son for wearing hat in church

BALTIMORE (AP) -- Police said a 58-year-old man stabbed his teenage son after he refused to take off his hat at church earlier in the day. The father and his 19-year-old son got into an argument on Sunday afternoon. That's when police said the father went to a car, got a knife and stabbed his son in the left buttock and fled.
The son was taken to University of Maryland Medical Center for treatment. The father's name was withheld pending his arrest.
~

Timetable: How about "this century"?

Mark Prior indicated that he isn't working with any timetables as he attempts to make his way back from June shoulder surgery.
He did say he feels further along now than he did at this point last year. Prior thought he was close to making it back to the majors in June, when he had a major setback with his shoulder. "I'm 28 and no one knows what the future holds," Prior said. "If I can get back to 80 percent or 90 percent of what I used to be, then that's still pretty good. I look back to those three, four years in the big leagues and I pitched pretty well and did the things I had to do to help us win games. I don't know if those memories haunt me, but they motivate me."
~

Uh...whaaaaa...Briggsy?

George Mason Students Encouraged By Speech

~

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Oh yea, Jim Calhoun, Fung's new white friend, ain't to great with the facts heself

http://www.the40yearplan.com/

So according to the U.S. Department of Education, Calhoun's $12 million isn't really $12 million. Letter writer Michael Chapman tipped me off to the DOE's numbers: UConn men's basketball spends $6,097,728 to take in $7,333,214.
~

Sarge, Smiff shake fists at clouds

7:25 PM me: ok, cool. i'll be looking for it. BP finally arrived today.

Andrew: awesome

7:26 PM you see that Des got the BP?

She's trying to play some catch-up

7:27 PM me: they hate all of my guys

Andrew: really

like who?

7:28 PM me: lessee, Garza, Moyer, Happ, Linebrink

7:29 PM basically all the Monks

cept prolly Utley

Andrew: really - I haven't looked up the Garza thing

what's to possibly hate about Moyer?!?

7:30 PM me: lousy projection - this my one gripe with the book - the write-ups often do not agree with the projection

Andrew: right

well - maybe they're taking the long view?

me: your reading - hey, this is good - and then you look down at the PECOTA - Garza 4.56 ERA or something

7:31 PM Andrew: but you know

me: Linebrink has never had an ERA near 4 - but this year it's like 4.46

Andrew: that's his 50 percent right?

7:32 PM me: so i should look at the 90% for him?

Andrew: No - I just tink

think

there are some guys who are more likely to hit higher pecotas than others

for instance

guys who have started to show improvement

me: wow, everyone on the SS-talk list likes the Utley side of that deal

Andrew: or where you know they've finally figured out their change up or something - something the machine maybe can't account for so much

they're idiots

7:33 PM me: everyone seemingly much higher on Votto & Rasmus than i am

Andrew: I feel if you're not getting the best guy in the deal you better have a really good reason for making the trade

yeah

I'm not big on Rasmus

I think obviously he could still bust out

but last year was not the year to look that dead

of course I'm looking at you Alex Gordon

me: yeah, everyone said Han Ram was the best in the deal, but still took the Utley side

Andrew: but

7:34 PM yeah

not big on Votto either

he's good

but easily replacable

me: they also assumed the guy was looking short-term, but he has no pitching

Andrew: I mean

yeah

you throw Webb into any rotation and it acquires a certain sheen

7:35 PM me: the guy never made a counter offer, i may have given up a bit more

Andrew: yeah

I think what hurt you was not offering any kind of prospect

in retrospect it seems obvious

but you even said it

the guy is constantly tearing down his team etc

we should have thrown him a golden bone

7:36 PM So Rasmus and Votto are guys

who however not great

you can still kind of dream on enough to make them interesting

I mean

I would much rather have about twenty other outfield prospects

and at least five or six 1B types floating around than those two

me: brb - got to fire up a burrito

Andrew: awesome

5 minutes

7:42 PM me: Elie takes Matt Dominguez, 3b from florida

not familiar with his work

Andrew: ha

Dominguez

is actually a pretty decent pick

problem

I don't see him being a superstar

7:43 PM and he's a ways a way yet

I don't know if he's worth holding for a few years

but I suppose rookie slots are cheap enough

I just feel

go for the studs

me: he's 19 - should be a while

Andrew: yeah

I don't know

7:44 PM but whatever

our draft - mine and corms - is worrisome to me

we have absolutely no bullpen

and not much out there is screaming "We're awesome"

a lot of pressure on some questionable arms

Cueto, Z, Kazmir, Volquez

7:45 PM Beckett

I mean, some good pitchers

some guys who could throw Cy Young years

but I could easily see a 4.6 era from this crew

and if we don't have a decent pen

this could be a bit of a rebuild for us

I mena

mean

if the guys come through

even three of them

we have enough offense to make up for a lot of mistakes

I think

7:46 PM but...

yeah

and it's not necessarily our fault

it's just

ugh

me: i'm trying to get some RPs with the limited # of picks i have

Andrew: yeah

me: i have no bench yet

Andrew: we're competing - that's one place where I feel really good

we have built a pretty good bench

7:47 PM me: & really only 5 SPs

Andrew: yeah

Corms isn't too worried about RPs...

and maybe I get what he's saying

I mean

hopefully we can find at least a couple decent ones in the supplementals

7:48 PM me: Dominguez was 18th in OPS in the Sally League, but he was one of the youngest players

Andrew: yeah

I m not saying he's a bad prospect

in fact

he took a big step up last year

7:49 PM and erased a lot of doubts about his bat never being able to play period

now the feeling is he will hit at least enough

and he has a great glove

I just don't know if he's going to hit enough to justify keeping him on a roster and not taking other guys coming up for the next three years

me: there was an 18yo in Sally with 39 homers

7:50 PM and 153 Ks

Andrew: wow

what's his name?

I want to look him up

did you see the Baseball America Prospect Handbook is 30 FUCKING dollars this year?

7:51 PM me: http://minors.baseball-reference.com/players.cgi?pid=33721

7:52 PM Andrew: Looks like he's 20?

well

19 during the season

still

nice contact bavr

if he can cut the strikeouts even a little and maintain that power

7:53 PM he could be pretty exciting

me: turned 19 in Nov

Andrew: Ah right

of course

1989

yep

I was already in 2010

did you watch this Glenn Beck thing?

7:54 PM Apparently by 2014 - implicitly because of Obama - we're going to be hunting dogs in the street to survive while marauding gangs of motorcycle thugs scare the women

7:55 PM me: the guy is insane - a mentally imbalanced man with his own tv show

Andrew: and they show his "movies" on the big screen occasionally

I'd never actually seen him before besides those maudlin previews

he is a fucking fuckface

these guys

7:56 PM are really coming out of the woodwork

17 minutes

8:13 PM me: Nate Robinson went OFF for the Zeniths tonight

Andrew: nice

he's been awesome lately

big second half v the Pacers?

me: 41 points

4 3's

8:14 PM 15-19 from the line

Andrew: nice

that's a nice line

you in first yet?

me: 8 rebounds, 3 assists, 2 steals

er, no, but 2nd

Andrew: how many points out?

only three assists?

me: he's a shooter, not a passer

8:15 PM Andrew: RIGHT!!!!

me: Dwyane Wade somehow does both

Andrew: yeah

8:16 PM he's like a poor man's Chris Paul

I would kill to have Chris Paul

Maybe I'll offer my whole team for him

and start from there

me: Duhon led team with 5 assists - the whole team just throws the ball at the hoop

Andrew: ha!

8:17 PM so was Keith Olbermann good tonight?

Briggs thinks so

me: haven't watched yet

8:18 PM Andrew: that's the thing that sucks about not having cable - today I would have loved to stare at the idiot box

fucking tired

first day back

never fun

me: you can watch it online

8:19 PM Andrew: really?

where?

the same night?

me: follow them on Twitter and just click on the link

Andrew: follow who?

@olbermann?

me: @Count_Down

Andrew: awesome

will do that

hang on

8:20 PM me: Video: McConnell attacking what he doesn’t understand: Feb. 23: Worst Persons: Sen. Mitch McConnell, R-Ky., clai.. http://tinyurl.com/dys4nn

Andrew: nice

I hate McConnell

and I hate that Fox News guy who interviewed the mayor of Lansing Michigan

what a DOUCHEBAG

8:21 PM me: yeah, i saw that. That mayor ROCKED. should run for the senate or governor or something

Andrew: no Doubt

guy was AWESOME

and I love the Douche

8:22 PM I wasn't talking about health care

well if you were using the bullshit $70/hour you were

you fuck

and even then

it's bullshit

because it factors in production costs

like having the lights on for the workers

the 70/hr

thing has been totally debunked

but on Fox

it's a "fact"

me: those guys are all millionaires

Andrew: fucking ASSWHOLES!

10 minutes

8:33 PM me: UConn coach Jim Calhoun: a DICK

Andrew: really?

what was he getting up to?

8:34 PM me: blew up at reporter who asked about his contract

Andrew: well you know

8:35 PM me: He makes $12 million for the university - yeah, how much do the players get from that?

Andrew: the players?

don't they all go into the NBA?

an d get shoe contracts and make millions of dollars

me: a few, very few

8:36 PM Andrew: no man

can't be

cant

fucking

yeah

ASSwhole

6 minutes

8:42 PM me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xokthY5zuPU

8:43 PM Andrew: have to check that out

8:45 PM me: Sen. Richard Shelby said he hasn't seen Obama's birth certificate - MASSIVE BRAIN DEATH.

Andrew: Oh yeah

I heard about that

but you know

8:46 PM has he seen Reagan's?

has he seen Bush's?

Or Clinton's?

Didn't Clinton go to like...Oxford...at some point?

And isn't that in

Europe

like France or something?

like the west coast of France?

8:47 PM me: yes, i would be wary of anyone that travels abroad for any reason

8:48 PM Andrew: especially during the Vietnam War

I mean

Bush

Cheney

they stayed right here

and protected Wisconsin

and Arkansas

I mean

Cheney was doing some important things

but you know if Wisconsin was attacked

he'd be out there

but notice

8:49 PM they stayed here to protect America

meanwhile

Clinton's fucking French whores and smoking Chinese marijuania

and Obama?

he's like

getting educated by Sadam Bin Laden

and learning how to infiltrate America while his friends in the Chicago Seven

8:50 PM secretly forgre

forge

a Hawaiian document

which is easier than forging a real state's document

because they're like half-Jap

and half-Samoan

me: slant-eyed devils

8:51 PM Andrew: trying to bring this country down

thank God for the brave men and women - non-gay of course - of our militias

8:56 PM me: fish taco

8:57 PM Andrew: dirty!

9:02 PM me: Arianna Huffington: MILF

Andrew: oh?

what brought this on?

me: she's on Countdown

has that accent, too

Andrew: ah

nice

9:03 PM wasn't she married to like some

complete fucking asshole?

me: i don't know about that, but he came out of the closet

Andrew: really?

9:04 PM me: the Gay Republican closet, that is

Andrew: nice

for real?

who knew?

9:05 PM me: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Huffington

9:06 PM Andrew: looking

9:08 PM me: The couple divorced in 1997, and in 1998 Michael Huffington revealed that he was bisexual.[citation needed] A 1999 magazine article claimed that Arianna Huffington "entered the marriage... with full knowledge of Michael Huffington's sexual interests in men".[3] The financial terms of their divorce agreement remain undisclosed, but Huffington gained most of her wealth from her husband. Arianna Huffington chose to retain her former husband's surname, although she had been known as Arianna Stassinopoulos Huffington during the period of her marriage.[citation needed]

9:09 PM Andrew: Nice

Apparently he's been all about trying to turn the Republicans into human beings

good luck with that

me: probably no more conservative than Diane Feinstein

9:10 PM Andrew: yeah right?

it's true

me: she sucks, and not in a good way

9:11 PM Andrew: definitely

so sad

because at one point

it seemed like she'd be cool

way back in the early 80s